1 00:00:00,124 --> 00:00:01,924 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 2 00:00:02,125 --> 00:00:03,747 Everything cris! 3 00:00:03,814 --> 00:00:06,883 The sea is part of somethin' called the "enviralment," 4 00:00:06,951 --> 00:00:09,285 and we is got to protect it. 5 00:00:09,353 --> 00:00:11,354 Global warming does exist, 6 00:00:11,422 --> 00:00:13,423 as the scientologists have proven, 7 00:00:13,491 --> 00:00:16,159 and the ice cubes is actually melting. 8 00:00:16,427 --> 00:00:19,629 Listen up, brethren... water levels is risin'! 9 00:00:19,697 --> 00:00:21,564 Hear this... at 8:30 this morning, 10 00:00:21,632 --> 00:00:24,467 the sea was way back there. 11 00:00:24,535 --> 00:00:27,670 Now, it is way up here. 12 00:00:27,738 --> 00:00:29,472 By this time tomorrow, 13 00:00:29,540 --> 00:00:31,775 it will be up past the Hollywood sign, innit? 14 00:00:31,842 --> 00:00:34,377 Now, the ocean might look like a shithole 15 00:00:34,445 --> 00:00:36,212 with no McDonald's or nothing, 16 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:39,015 but there is lots of amazing stuff 'ere. 17 00:00:39,083 --> 00:00:42,185 They is even got their own drugs called seaweed. 18 00:00:42,253 --> 00:00:44,904 It's a bit crap. I smoked it and it didn't do nothing. 19 00:00:44,906 --> 00:00:47,129 I is hopin' there is seacrack 'n' all, 20 00:00:47,197 --> 00:00:50,199 and I ain't talkin' about a dolphin's punani. 21 00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:52,835 Easy now! Check out me show. 22 00:00:54,000 --> 00:01:00,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 23 00:01:18,098 --> 00:01:21,098 1x04 - Environment 24 00:01:22,099 --> 00:01:24,066 Booyakasha. [snaps] 25 00:01:24,134 --> 00:01:26,502 [music playing] 26 00:01:26,570 --> 00:01:27,703 ♪ Yeah ♪ 27 00:01:27,771 --> 00:01:29,705 ♪ Something I got to tell you about ♪ 28 00:01:29,773 --> 00:01:31,574 ♪ The carjacking, everybody's gonna scream and shout ♪ 29 00:01:31,642 --> 00:01:33,976 ♪ You see the man put the nine to your head ♪ 30 00:01:34,044 --> 00:01:35,378 ♪ "Pop, pop!" ♪ 31 00:01:35,445 --> 00:01:37,346 ♪ You could be dead. ♪ 32 00:01:37,414 --> 00:01:40,049 [music continues] 33 00:01:40,117 --> 00:01:43,319 Everybody is talking about the environment thing. 34 00:01:43,387 --> 00:01:45,855 What is they banging on about? I don't know. 35 00:01:45,923 --> 00:01:48,557 That is why I is come down to the tree protesting site, 36 00:01:48,625 --> 00:01:51,894 to solve the problem of the environment. 37 00:01:51,962 --> 00:01:53,829 And maybe to mash up some police. 38 00:01:53,897 --> 00:01:55,064 [snaps] Nice. 39 00:01:55,132 --> 00:01:57,266 [music playing] 40 00:02:01,104 --> 00:02:04,874 Wicked. We here at the HQ of the tree people. 41 00:02:04,942 --> 00:02:07,944 Gonna go in, help them out. 42 00:02:08,011 --> 00:02:10,313 For them people out there, what is they actually doing? 43 00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:12,581 They... why is they here? 44 00:02:12,649 --> 00:02:14,717 Because there's so little space... from what I can gather, 45 00:02:14,785 --> 00:02:16,752 there's so little space left in London, 46 00:02:16,820 --> 00:02:19,221 and they want to put a multistory cinema complex 47 00:02:19,289 --> 00:02:21,924 and a rooftop car park for 1,000 cars. 48 00:02:21,992 --> 00:02:24,327 But is it gonna be one of them new cinemas 49 00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:27,263 with air-conditioning and Dolby Surround and all that? 50 00:02:27,331 --> 00:02:30,599 Well, I don't know. It would be a modern structure of some sort. 51 00:02:30,667 --> 00:02:33,135 But they is wicked, no? Should they not build this one 52 00:02:33,203 --> 00:02:36,505 and knock down the crap ones and then build trees there? 53 00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:38,808 [music playing] 54 00:02:42,679 --> 00:02:47,116 We is now gonna meet the main copper, the guy who's solving it all out. 55 00:02:47,184 --> 00:02:51,153 If it comes to Iraq, who do you think's gonna win? 56 00:02:51,221 --> 00:02:53,389 - It isn't gonna come to Iraq. - Well, if it does. 57 00:02:53,457 --> 00:02:55,024 No, it's not gonna come to Iraq. 58 00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:57,426 This is being dealt with as peacefully as possible. 59 00:02:57,494 --> 00:02:59,562 Is it possible for us to get in? 60 00:02:59,629 --> 00:03:01,964 Officer: Not at this stage, because it's still dangerous. 61 00:03:02,032 --> 00:03:04,467 - Is it 'cause I is black? - Not at all. 62 00:03:04,534 --> 00:03:06,202 Do you not think it's time for those protestors 63 00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:09,405 to start looking after themselves and protecting themselves proper? 64 00:03:09,473 --> 00:03:11,374 Well, violence doesn't solve anything, does it? 65 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:14,477 - Well, I don't know. It does. - It does and it doesn't. 66 00:03:14,544 --> 00:03:16,212 Yeah, but it mainly does. 67 00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:18,114 - Not really. - Come on. 68 00:03:18,181 --> 00:03:19,582 You can't conquer nothing with violence, can you? 69 00:03:19,649 --> 00:03:21,350 - Well, you can. - In what? 70 00:03:21,418 --> 00:03:23,953 - In what situation? - Well, in a violent one. 71 00:03:24,021 --> 00:03:25,821 ♪ Who are the pixie people? ♪ 72 00:03:25,889 --> 00:03:27,523 ♪ Are you one of the fairy folk? ♪ 73 00:03:27,591 --> 00:03:29,291 ♪ Who are the pixie people? ♪ 74 00:03:29,359 --> 00:03:31,027 ♪ Are you one of the fairy folk? ♪ 75 00:03:31,094 --> 00:03:32,862 ♪ Who are the pixie people? ♪ 76 00:03:32,929 --> 00:03:34,296 ♪ Are you one of the fairies? ♪ 77 00:03:34,364 --> 00:03:35,931 Do you like this planet? 78 00:03:35,999 --> 00:03:37,700 - Do you want to see it go up in smoke? - Woman: No! 79 00:03:37,768 --> 00:03:38,734 ♪ La, la... ♪ 80 00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:41,637 [music playing] 81 00:03:44,508 --> 00:03:47,777 All right. Me has heard both sides of the argument. 82 00:03:47,844 --> 00:03:50,546 Me don't understand either of them. 83 00:03:50,614 --> 00:03:52,948 But me is well up for Iraq anyway. 84 00:03:53,016 --> 00:03:55,017 Booka, booka, booka, hear me now, hear me now. 85 00:03:55,085 --> 00:03:58,354 [babbling] 86 00:03:59,856 --> 00:04:01,824 Shut the fuck up! 87 00:04:01,892 --> 00:04:04,527 This is serious, you wanker! 88 00:04:04,594 --> 00:04:07,163 You can take our trees, 89 00:04:07,230 --> 00:04:11,133 you can take our trees, but you can't take our freedom! 90 00:04:13,303 --> 00:04:16,405 You can take our trees, but you can't take our freedom! 91 00:04:16,473 --> 00:04:19,408 [crowd yelling, booing] Man: Freedom! 92 00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:22,545 Freedom! Freedom! 93 00:04:22,612 --> 00:04:24,580 Freedom! Freedom! 94 00:04:24,648 --> 00:04:26,115 Come on! [crowd yelling, booing] 95 00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:30,853 [speaking faintly] Me gonna have a little go. 96 00:04:32,055 --> 00:04:34,777 - Me gonna have a little go. - Arrest him! 97 00:04:35,992 --> 00:04:37,226 Is it because I is black? 98 00:04:39,514 --> 00:04:41,537 [music playing] 99 00:05:00,191 --> 00:05:04,128 So let's talk about e-volution. What exactly is it? 100 00:05:04,195 --> 00:05:09,566 It's the belief that all of the different kinds of life 101 00:05:09,634 --> 00:05:12,302 on the world today 102 00:05:12,370 --> 00:05:15,839 are descended from the same ancestral organism. 103 00:05:15,907 --> 00:05:20,911 So what is we humanoids evolutioned from? 104 00:05:20,979 --> 00:05:24,148 We evolved from apes. 105 00:05:24,215 --> 00:05:27,217 So you is basically saying somewhere down the line, 106 00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:29,520 me nan did it with a monkey? 107 00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:35,292 Er, not exactly, but we did descend from apes. 108 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:39,963 Do you think me Uncle Jamal might have recently evolved? 109 00:05:40,031 --> 00:05:43,834 'Cause he has got a very hairy back and also one of them beards 110 00:05:43,902 --> 00:05:46,603 - that stops right up there. - Nope. 111 00:05:46,671 --> 00:05:48,739 [music playing] 112 00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:54,178 So when will the monkeys that live now become 'umans? 113 00:05:54,245 --> 00:05:56,547 Nothing says that they will. 114 00:05:56,614 --> 00:06:01,218 If I kept a monkey in a fridge for a million years, 115 00:06:01,286 --> 00:06:05,622 and then I took it out, would it be a humanoid? 116 00:06:05,690 --> 00:06:07,991 - Nope. - It would be naked, though, wouldn't it? 117 00:06:09,994 --> 00:06:11,662 Uh... you mean in terms of not having any hair? 118 00:06:11,729 --> 00:06:15,632 - Clothes. - It's hard to say. It's very difficult 119 00:06:15,700 --> 00:06:18,202 to predict how evolution goes in the future. 120 00:06:18,269 --> 00:06:21,338 But what happens if monkeys look at the humanoids 121 00:06:21,406 --> 00:06:23,407 and think, "All right, I want to be them. 122 00:06:23,474 --> 00:06:26,210 I is well jealous, 'cause they is having a laugh." 123 00:06:26,277 --> 00:06:29,079 Then they'd say, "All right, let's do it. 124 00:06:29,147 --> 00:06:31,682 Let's do the... let's do the evolution"? 125 00:06:31,749 --> 00:06:33,684 That's not how evolution works. You can't... 126 00:06:33,751 --> 00:06:37,221 - you can't... - So you claim. So you claim. 127 00:06:37,288 --> 00:06:40,524 Right, so I claim. So I... 128 00:06:40,592 --> 00:06:44,561 But I think this is... we regard it as an "informed" claim. 129 00:06:44,629 --> 00:06:48,198 If you shaved the monkey, would it look like a 'uman? 130 00:06:48,266 --> 00:06:52,169 Would it look like it? It might, superficially. 131 00:06:52,237 --> 00:06:54,705 - Has you ever tried it? - No. 132 00:06:54,772 --> 00:06:57,474 Why not, if you is doing the study? 133 00:06:57,542 --> 00:07:00,277 Surely that would be the first thing you went about doing. 134 00:07:00,345 --> 00:07:03,497 Well, why would we, why would we do that? 135 00:07:03,498 --> 00:07:04,448 What would we gain by that? 136 00:07:04,515 --> 00:07:10,420 To see if that we really is evolutionized from the monkeys. 137 00:07:10,488 --> 00:07:12,289 Shave 'em, let's have a look. 138 00:07:12,357 --> 00:07:14,758 Well, I guess people have done that in other ways. 139 00:07:14,826 --> 00:07:16,894 - Aside from shaving, they've taken... - Waxed? 140 00:07:16,961 --> 00:07:20,430 No, they've taken rulers or tape measurers. 141 00:07:20,498 --> 00:07:22,532 [music playing] 142 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:25,969 Me nan sometimes says to me that I is an animal 143 00:07:26,037 --> 00:07:30,974 if I start chucking things around or don't wipe it properly. 144 00:07:31,042 --> 00:07:34,711 - Is she right? - Well, you... 145 00:07:34,779 --> 00:07:37,347 she may be saying that reminds you... 146 00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:42,152 you remind her of an animal because of things that you're doing. 147 00:07:42,220 --> 00:07:43,787 If she says, "Hey, you is an animal," I say, "Yeah, so what?" 148 00:07:43,855 --> 00:07:46,523 - Well, technically... - "You did it with a monkey." 149 00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:48,525 - You could say... - "What is you talking to me about?" 150 00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:52,663 What is the point of animals, Professor? 151 00:07:52,730 --> 00:07:55,299 What do you mean by "the point"? 152 00:07:55,366 --> 00:07:59,102 - They exist. They're here. - But ain't most of them, 153 00:07:59,170 --> 00:08:01,814 with the exceptions of monkeys and scorpions, 154 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:06,085 with full respect to you, a bit crap? 155 00:08:07,661 --> 00:08:11,030 I think they're pretty... they're pretty important. 156 00:08:11,098 --> 00:08:13,132 Yeah, but you would say that, 157 00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:16,502 because your job is on the line. [chuckles] 158 00:08:16,570 --> 00:08:19,739 Why don't we give animals an ultimatum? 159 00:08:19,806 --> 00:08:24,443 "Either do something useful, or piss off." 160 00:08:24,511 --> 00:08:26,045 Which animals do you want to say that to? 161 00:08:26,113 --> 00:08:29,215 To animals, all the animals that ain't doing something useful. 162 00:08:29,283 --> 00:08:32,418 But I'd say... I think a lot of them are doing something useful. 163 00:08:32,486 --> 00:08:35,054 Do you eat meat? 164 00:08:35,122 --> 00:08:39,058 Well, yeah, I eat, you know, burgers and all that kind of stuff. 165 00:08:39,126 --> 00:08:41,527 - Well, that comes from animals, right? - Or not. Do they? 166 00:08:41,595 --> 00:08:43,729 Do they? Where does hamburger come from? 167 00:08:46,233 --> 00:08:49,101 - Comes from McDonald's. - Where does McDonald's get it? 168 00:08:49,169 --> 00:08:50,803 From America. 169 00:08:50,871 --> 00:08:54,574 And where... we don't just raise hamburgers here. 170 00:08:54,641 --> 00:08:56,475 - You make them? - Comes from cattle. 171 00:08:56,543 --> 00:08:59,045 Does it, though? 172 00:08:59,112 --> 00:09:02,315 What happens if different types of animals fall in love? 173 00:09:02,382 --> 00:09:05,251 Doesn't happen very often as far as everybody knows. 174 00:09:05,319 --> 00:09:09,622 And if they were, they wouldn't produce an offspring 175 00:09:09,690 --> 00:09:12,692 in those cases. It wouldn't amount to anything. 176 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:17,697 But what if the crocodile see the flamingo and think, "I love her." 177 00:09:17,765 --> 00:09:20,433 Would you step in and say, "No, that ain't right"? 178 00:09:20,501 --> 00:09:23,970 - Would I? No. - Hmm. 179 00:09:24,038 --> 00:09:25,505 It's like me and me Julie, though. 180 00:09:25,573 --> 00:09:27,740 Because she comes from the East side of town, 181 00:09:27,808 --> 00:09:29,275 and me come from the West side of town. 182 00:09:29,343 --> 00:09:31,411 "West side." 183 00:09:31,478 --> 00:09:34,514 And they said that it was wrong that we was meant to be together. 184 00:09:34,582 --> 00:09:39,252 But the first time we got jiggy, 185 00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:42,922 she actually came, so that can't be wrong, can it? 186 00:09:46,193 --> 00:09:47,927 It's whatever you think. 187 00:09:47,995 --> 00:09:50,330 [music playing] 188 00:09:50,397 --> 00:09:52,966 Is there any "butty" animals? 189 00:09:53,033 --> 00:09:55,468 - What does that mean? - You know, funny animals. 190 00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:58,905 You mean, ones that appear funny to us? 191 00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:01,274 No, no, no. You know... "over the hill and around the corner." 192 00:10:01,342 --> 00:10:03,309 Uh... 193 00:10:04,612 --> 00:10:10,016 - So, why is all giraffes gay? - Why are giraffes gay? 194 00:10:10,084 --> 00:10:14,587 - Why is all giraffes gay? - Who says they are? 195 00:10:16,926 --> 00:10:19,694 - Well, they look it. - Well... [chuckles] 196 00:10:19,762 --> 00:10:24,466 Is there anything we can learn from the animal kingdom? 197 00:10:26,068 --> 00:10:30,572 There's a tremendous amount we can learn from non-human animals. 198 00:10:30,639 --> 00:10:34,309 How come we can't... excuse me French, lick our own nuts? 199 00:10:35,945 --> 00:10:38,980 If they can do it and me dog can do it, 200 00:10:39,048 --> 00:10:42,417 and that dancer, the Irish bloke, can do it, 201 00:10:42,485 --> 00:10:44,018 how come we can't do it? 202 00:10:44,086 --> 00:10:46,855 It's just a question of anatomy, how we're built. 203 00:10:46,922 --> 00:10:50,725 But do you think with evolution, 204 00:10:50,793 --> 00:10:53,561 then in the future we'll be able to do that? 205 00:10:53,629 --> 00:10:56,364 [chuckles] It's hard to say. 206 00:10:56,432 --> 00:10:59,033 - We can hope, though, huh? - That's right. 207 00:11:08,166 --> 00:11:10,823 [music playing] 208 00:11:27,222 --> 00:11:30,591 I am here now with Lady Chelsea 209 00:11:30,659 --> 00:11:34,228 to learn how to be real gentleman. 210 00:11:34,296 --> 00:11:37,432 - Okay. - It's very nice to meet you. 211 00:11:37,499 --> 00:11:39,600 [Lady Chelsea laughs] 212 00:11:39,668 --> 00:11:41,903 - Borat: Very nice. - I'll do my best. 213 00:11:41,970 --> 00:11:43,805 Yes. 214 00:11:43,872 --> 00:11:46,607 How can you tell if someone is polite 215 00:11:46,675 --> 00:11:50,411 - when you first meet them? - You don't, really. 216 00:11:50,479 --> 00:11:52,346 I mean, perhaps it's the way they say hello 217 00:11:52,414 --> 00:11:54,315 - and shake your hand. - Yes. 218 00:11:54,383 --> 00:11:57,685 Is the way I dress nice? Is it okay? 219 00:11:57,753 --> 00:12:00,788 It's not a typically English way to dress. 220 00:12:00,856 --> 00:12:04,592 - And my shoe, is good? - Shoes? Yes. 221 00:12:04,660 --> 00:12:07,061 It is from a Shoe Express in Oxford Street. 222 00:12:07,129 --> 00:12:10,765 Oh? All right. That's fine. Black, yes. 223 00:12:10,833 --> 00:12:14,368 And what do... will we eat at dinner soon? 224 00:12:14,436 --> 00:12:15,736 Lunch. 225 00:12:15,804 --> 00:12:18,172 - Charlotte, this is Borat. - How do you do? 226 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:21,008 - How do you do? - And Bodrick, Borat. 227 00:12:21,076 --> 00:12:23,644 How do you do? How do you do? 228 00:12:23,712 --> 00:12:26,581 - So, we have a toast. - Borat: Yes, toast! 229 00:12:26,648 --> 00:12:28,216 Yes, yes. 230 00:12:28,283 --> 00:12:31,586 - To Jenny and to television! - To Jenny, to television. 231 00:12:31,653 --> 00:12:34,322 - And to Kazakhstan. - And to Kazakhstan! 232 00:12:34,389 --> 00:12:37,291 - Thank you. Thank you. - Because I saw you. 233 00:12:37,359 --> 00:12:39,727 Thank you. [glasses ring] 234 00:12:40,963 --> 00:12:43,731 Thank you. 235 00:12:43,799 --> 00:12:45,500 [rings] [gulps] 236 00:12:49,037 --> 00:12:51,172 Mmm. [Lady Chelsea laughs] 237 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:55,109 It's nice! It's nice. 238 00:12:55,177 --> 00:12:57,712 Do you have wine... do you have wine in Kazakhstan? 239 00:12:57,779 --> 00:12:59,447 The real idea, if somebody gives you 240 00:12:59,515 --> 00:13:01,549 a nice glass of white wine, you should sip it. 241 00:13:01,617 --> 00:13:04,352 Imagine you're making love. You don't want to do it too quickly. 242 00:13:04,419 --> 00:13:07,088 To make love? To have... sex? 243 00:13:07,155 --> 00:13:09,657 - Well, now you're going to confuse him. - Charlotte: Everything slowly. 244 00:13:09,725 --> 00:13:13,127 Yeah, don't make love too quickly, otherwise it's over too quickly. 245 00:13:13,195 --> 00:13:15,963 Ah, yes! I like to last a long time! 246 00:13:16,031 --> 00:13:18,633 Oh, that's wonderful! That's perfect! 247 00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:20,434 [laughs] Is that good. 248 00:13:20,502 --> 00:13:22,403 I am good. I am good. 249 00:13:22,471 --> 00:13:27,410 And what subject do we talk about? 250 00:13:28,977 --> 00:13:32,213 Anything, really. Depends who starts it. 251 00:13:32,281 --> 00:13:37,184 I mean, you could start off by... what would you say? 252 00:13:37,252 --> 00:13:39,620 - Anything that comes into your head, really. - Yes. 253 00:13:41,423 --> 00:13:43,958 Mmm. This is very nice. 254 00:13:45,794 --> 00:13:50,531 - My wife, she is dead. - Bodrick: Oh! Why? 255 00:13:50,599 --> 00:13:53,100 - Lady Chelsea: How did that happen? - Bodrick: What happened? 256 00:13:53,168 --> 00:14:00,508 - She die, in the field. - How? 257 00:14:00,576 --> 00:14:06,647 She died from... work, but with, uh, accident. 258 00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:09,350 But is not important, I have a new wife. 259 00:14:09,418 --> 00:14:13,788 Is it okay to talk about what I did last night? 260 00:14:13,855 --> 00:14:17,158 Yes, as long as you don't go into lots of details, 261 00:14:17,225 --> 00:14:19,493 - whether it be... I don't know. - Yes? 262 00:14:19,561 --> 00:14:20,517 Oh yes, if you said, 263 00:14:20,518 --> 00:14:23,564 - "Yes, I went to see a film last night." - Yes. 264 00:14:23,632 --> 00:14:27,602 - Last night I have sex. - Charlotte: Really? 265 00:14:27,669 --> 00:14:30,916 See, I told you you shouldn't mention your... 266 00:14:30,917 --> 00:14:34,275 - what you did last night. - No. 267 00:14:34,343 --> 00:14:36,110 You say I could say what I did last night. 268 00:14:36,178 --> 00:14:38,179 No, you can say you went to see a film. 269 00:14:38,246 --> 00:14:40,748 But it was nice! She was lovely. 270 00:14:40,816 --> 00:14:44,919 And... how do I say... 271 00:14:44,987 --> 00:14:47,154 [sighs] I do not want to be rude... 272 00:14:47,222 --> 00:14:50,057 what if I need to do a toilet? 273 00:14:50,125 --> 00:14:52,760 You just say, "Oh, just excuse me for a while." 274 00:14:52,828 --> 00:14:55,396 - "Excuse me for a while." - Yeah. 275 00:14:56,732 --> 00:15:00,768 Please excuse me, I will go for a minute. 276 00:15:00,836 --> 00:15:04,105 - Lady Chelsea: Okay, - Bodrick: Certainly. 277 00:15:04,172 --> 00:15:06,307 - Please excuse me. - Charlotte: Certainly. 278 00:15:17,986 --> 00:15:20,688 - Here he comes. - Borat: Thank you. 279 00:15:20,756 --> 00:15:22,456 - Lady Chelsea: Okay. - Sorry. 280 00:15:22,524 --> 00:15:24,625 Would you like some more potatoes and peas? 281 00:15:24,693 --> 00:15:26,027 Because you haven't had any meat. 282 00:15:26,094 --> 00:15:27,962 - Would you like some more? - Or we have a pudding. 283 00:15:28,030 --> 00:15:30,564 - Eh... - Or do you want to have a lovely dessert? 284 00:15:30,632 --> 00:15:32,700 - We have pudding, you know. - Sweets? 285 00:15:32,768 --> 00:15:35,469 Yes, dessert... thank you. 286 00:15:35,537 --> 00:15:37,938 I had a good shit. [laughing] 287 00:15:38,006 --> 00:15:40,374 [groans] Don't say that. 288 00:15:42,811 --> 00:15:45,146 - You didn't have any dog. - You don't say that. 289 00:15:45,213 --> 00:15:48,015 You know the Chinese, when they say they've had a good meal, 290 00:15:48,083 --> 00:15:50,584 there's a huge amount of horrendous gurking and burping. 291 00:15:50,652 --> 00:15:55,523 What to do...? What is "gurking"? 292 00:15:55,590 --> 00:15:57,658 When you go... [belches] 293 00:15:57,726 --> 00:15:59,260 [belches] Bodrick: Oh! 294 00:15:59,327 --> 00:16:02,596 [laughing] High five, high five! 295 00:16:02,664 --> 00:16:06,100 - Goodness gracious me! - Yeah, you do it, eh? 296 00:16:06,168 --> 00:16:08,116 - No, I can't do it. - Lady Chelsea: I can't do it. 297 00:16:08,151 --> 00:16:10,071 [belches] Oh! 298 00:16:10,138 --> 00:16:12,239 - Charlotte: Don't do it. - That is absolutely outrageous! 299 00:16:12,307 --> 00:16:14,075 Thank you. I can, like this? 300 00:16:14,142 --> 00:16:17,044 - Lady Chelsea: Good to have met you. - Yeah, that's nice. 301 00:16:19,648 --> 00:16:20,848 Borat: Bare cheek. 302 00:16:20,916 --> 00:16:22,983 Oh-hh! 303 00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:26,554 And big nose. 304 00:16:26,621 --> 00:16:29,423 Uh, it was very nice... 305 00:16:29,491 --> 00:16:31,492 - Lady Chelsea: To have met you. - ...to have met you. 306 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:33,661 - Bodrick: Very good. - To have met you. 307 00:16:33,729 --> 00:16:35,763 - Correct. Au revoir. - Thank you. 308 00:16:35,831 --> 00:16:37,098 How do you do? 309 00:16:37,165 --> 00:16:38,332 - Lady Chelsea: Bye. - Borat: Bye. 310 00:16:45,827 --> 00:16:48,462 [fanfare plays] 311 00:16:57,439 --> 00:17:01,208 We have an animal here in the studio. 312 00:17:02,477 --> 00:17:04,645 - Should we get it out? - Woman: Mm-hmm. Okay. 313 00:17:04,713 --> 00:17:08,983 What the [bleep] is that, man? 314 00:17:09,051 --> 00:17:11,953 - What is that? - It's a hedgehog. 315 00:17:12,020 --> 00:17:14,588 A little wild creature. 316 00:17:14,656 --> 00:17:17,892 When they're afraid, they go into a ball. 317 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:20,361 - Ah, that's wicked. That's cool. - No it isn't. 318 00:17:20,429 --> 00:17:23,931 - You like that now? - Yeah, but after about five minutes, 319 00:17:23,999 --> 00:17:26,233 after they done that, why would you want to keep them? 320 00:17:26,301 --> 00:17:30,004 Because it's part of our heritage to have wild animals... 321 00:17:30,072 --> 00:17:31,906 You're asking the question 322 00:17:31,974 --> 00:17:34,742 - as though the value of that animal... - A'ight? 323 00:17:34,810 --> 00:17:36,677 or a flower, or anything, 324 00:17:36,745 --> 00:17:41,449 could only consist in, could only be its value to you. 325 00:17:41,516 --> 00:17:43,617 - Okay. - "That's funny. I can eat it! 326 00:17:43,685 --> 00:17:47,588 I'm getting a laugh out of that." Or it makes a good football or whatever. 327 00:17:47,656 --> 00:17:51,036 - That would make a good football. - North: Yeah, not a bad one. But... but... 328 00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:53,761 - It's illegal now. - Ali G: What? That is illegal? 329 00:17:53,829 --> 00:17:55,896 - It is, a long time. - Dyas: Yes, it is. Yes, it is. 330 00:17:55,964 --> 00:17:58,466 Liz, what if a kid is poor and don't have enough money 331 00:17:58,533 --> 00:18:00,501 - to buy a good quality football? - Dyas: You can't buy... 332 00:18:00,569 --> 00:18:03,037 - Dr. Mike Leahy: Very good. - North: Liz, it is interesting, 333 00:18:03,105 --> 00:18:04,905 because it is only in the last three or four years 334 00:18:04,973 --> 00:18:07,975 that it has been illegal for a child to kick a hedgehog 335 00:18:08,043 --> 00:18:10,177 because, well, "Hell, I like kicking hedgehogs." 336 00:18:10,245 --> 00:18:13,032 - That's right. - I'm not talking about anyone, "pff," but... 337 00:18:13,046 --> 00:18:16,984 But what I was thinking about, they're little mammals. 338 00:18:17,052 --> 00:18:20,354 To that extent, they would feel pain. 339 00:18:20,422 --> 00:18:23,657 Well, let's talk about people who teach their pets special things. 340 00:18:23,725 --> 00:18:26,193 Is that wrong? Because me got this mate Dave, 341 00:18:26,261 --> 00:18:31,265 him teach his pet to, like, go, "Wicked!" When he slap it. 342 00:18:31,333 --> 00:18:32,933 It is amazing thing to do. 343 00:18:33,001 --> 00:18:37,438 The pet can go, "Wicked!" This little dog. 344 00:18:37,506 --> 00:18:42,577 Michael, don't this guy... this dog that has been just as a little 345 00:18:42,578 --> 00:18:46,080 jab with the fork or whatever, ain't it enjoying that? 346 00:18:46,148 --> 00:18:50,214 I don't know what you mean by "little jab with a fork or whatever." 347 00:18:50,215 --> 00:18:53,089 - [chuckles] Yeah. - That rather worries me, really. 348 00:18:53,124 --> 00:18:55,281 Wait, it don't hurt... it don't bleed or anything like that. 349 00:18:55,349 --> 00:18:57,883 And I ain't never done it, but this is a guy I know. 350 00:18:57,951 --> 00:19:00,119 "Just a pinprick," as they say in the laboratory. 351 00:19:00,187 --> 00:19:01,754 Okay. Is it wrong for people 352 00:19:01,822 --> 00:19:04,756 to do experiments on animals in their own home? 353 00:19:05,726 --> 00:19:08,961 Well, I would say it's wrong and unscientific. 354 00:19:09,029 --> 00:19:11,998 'Cause we did a thing... years ago... 355 00:19:12,065 --> 00:19:15,501 with this mouse in this microwave or whatever, 356 00:19:15,569 --> 00:19:19,856 to try about nuclear... to do a nuclear test to see if it 357 00:19:19,857 --> 00:19:24,143 could, you know, survive the nuclear thing, and it did survive. 358 00:19:24,211 --> 00:19:27,813 It came out and it was hot or whatever, but it was still alive. 359 00:19:27,881 --> 00:19:29,615 - Ali G: Is that wrong? - Dyas: Yes. 360 00:19:29,683 --> 00:19:31,250 That's pretty fiendish. 361 00:19:31,318 --> 00:19:34,754 So, Mikey, Mikey, has you ever eaten the meat? 362 00:19:34,821 --> 00:19:36,889 Oh, no! I couldn't. 363 00:19:36,957 --> 00:19:41,127 What happened if you had, like, Big Mac here, really nice. 364 00:19:41,194 --> 00:19:43,229 - Did you say, "Big Mac"? - A'ight. 365 00:19:43,296 --> 00:19:44,864 I'd go straight out of that door. 366 00:19:44,931 --> 00:19:46,198 - Why? - A Big Mac? 367 00:19:46,266 --> 00:19:48,334 I've never set foot in a McDonald's yet. Of course I wouldn't ... 368 00:19:48,402 --> 00:19:51,437 - I wouldn't dream of it. - What happens if it was the best meat 369 00:19:51,505 --> 00:19:55,274 and the best... if you don't like Big Mac or whatever... 370 00:19:55,342 --> 00:19:59,216 - the best Chicken McNugget, whatever. - Oh! Chicken McNugget? 371 00:19:59,284 --> 00:20:01,418 You mean that colonel? That bogus colonel? 372 00:20:02,787 --> 00:20:04,688 - No. - Colonel. Kentucky. 373 00:20:04,756 --> 00:20:06,706 What if it was free? [Sutcliffe laughs] 374 00:20:06,755 --> 00:20:10,227 - No, you have to think of it. - Yes or no, what if it was free? 375 00:20:10,295 --> 00:20:12,062 Well, of course not! That's major... 376 00:20:12,130 --> 00:20:14,265 What if someone paid you a hundred squid? 377 00:20:14,332 --> 00:20:16,729 - I wouldn't! - What happens if they say, 378 00:20:16,813 --> 00:20:20,404 "here's a chicken? You eat this, or we kill another chicken." 379 00:20:20,472 --> 00:20:23,007 No, that chicken is going to be killed anyway for you to eat. 380 00:20:23,074 --> 00:20:26,477 Ali, I must tell you, you just asked the question which was 381 00:20:26,478 --> 00:20:29,880 the hardest question that the toughest moral philosopher when 382 00:20:29,881 --> 00:20:32,249 I did philosophy at university asked us. 383 00:20:32,317 --> 00:20:35,152 [snaps] Wicked. Ali Indahouse! 384 00:20:37,722 --> 00:20:38,956 A'ight! 385 00:20:38,957 --> 00:20:42,911 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 385 00:20:43,305 --> 00:20:49,722 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org