1
00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:04,671
Gully mee seh, hot skull!
2
00:00:04,755 --> 00:00:08,958
We is standin' on the
site of Hollywood history.
3
00:00:09,043 --> 00:00:11,845
Behind me is the hactual house
4
00:00:11,929 --> 00:00:14,347
where Mickey the Mouse
met Minnie.
5
00:00:14,432 --> 00:00:16,466
It was in that bedroom up there
6
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:19,636
where him first Donald
Duck'd her up the butty.
7
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:24,373
Them ended up bein' together for
twenty years, but never got married.
8
00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:26,926
Why?
Accordin' to the CIA,
9
00:00:27,010 --> 00:00:28,794
Goofy got in the way
10
00:00:28,879 --> 00:00:31,597
because he had a much bigger dong.
11
00:00:31,682 --> 00:00:33,766
Don't be fooled by them floppy ears!
12
00:00:33,851 --> 00:00:36,719
Goofy ain't as innocent as him appear.
13
00:00:36,803 --> 00:00:39,945
Doin' research for this
on the Intranet, I is seen
14
00:00:40,246 --> 00:00:43,325
many women who has cheated
on their men wif dogs...
15
00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:46,529
but none who has ever
fallen in love wif a mouse.
16
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:50,699
Although mouses is experts
at eatin' the cheese,
17
00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:53,252
them ain't never gonna be
able to compete with a dog
18
00:00:53,336 --> 00:00:55,254
when it comes to the bonin'.
19
00:00:56,038 --> 00:00:57,572
Dat is biology, innit?
20
00:00:57,623 --> 00:00:59,708
Gwaan go, maas!
21
00:01:19,379 --> 00:01:22,379
2x02 - Acting
22
00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:28,380
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
23
00:01:29,302 --> 00:01:31,636
A'ight.
24
00:01:31,687 --> 00:01:34,556
- What is acting?
- Uh-oh.
25
00:01:37,143 --> 00:01:38,643
What a good question.
26
00:01:38,694 --> 00:01:42,230
The camera hates "acting."
27
00:01:42,315 --> 00:01:44,532
- What's this?
- That's the old-fashioned kind of acting.
28
00:01:44,617 --> 00:01:46,901
When you're indicating.
Acting in quotes...
29
00:01:46,986 --> 00:01:48,320
Those are quotes. Air quotes.
30
00:01:48,371 --> 00:01:49,955
- What is quotes?
- Quotation marks.
31
00:01:49,989 --> 00:01:51,656
Oh, I fought they was like ears.
32
00:01:51,707 --> 00:01:53,742
- When you do wif someone.
- That's correct.
33
00:01:53,826 --> 00:01:56,328
Why is it that hoes
34
00:01:56,379 --> 00:01:59,331
is better actors than men?
35
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,635
Uh...
36
00:02:03,669 --> 00:02:06,504
Um, I should tell you,
37
00:02:06,589 --> 00:02:08,423
as Dean of the Actors
Studio, the drama school,
38
00:02:08,507 --> 00:02:12,227
that I don't use words
like hoes, and I hate them.
39
00:02:12,311 --> 00:02:13,678
I just... that's honestly.
40
00:02:13,729 --> 00:02:15,730
- All right, bitches. Bitches.
- I know that's the vernacular.
41
00:02:15,815 --> 00:02:18,433
No, no, and bitch.
I hate words like bitches.
42
00:02:18,517 --> 00:02:21,603
But why is it that
women is, like, so good
43
00:02:21,687 --> 00:02:23,104
at pretending to be upset?
44
00:02:23,189 --> 00:02:26,274
Like, "Oh, Ali! You is
forgotten me birthday!
45
00:02:26,359 --> 00:02:29,077
Oh, you is slept with
me best friend! Oh!"
46
00:02:29,161 --> 00:02:30,612
You know, cryin'?
47
00:02:32,365 --> 00:02:37,869
Has you ever met
Robert Deniros?
48
00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:40,255
Robert De Niro was on my show.
49
00:02:40,339 --> 00:02:43,124
Whoa!
He is the bomb, man!
50
00:02:43,209 --> 00:02:44,209
He is so good!
51
00:02:44,293 --> 00:02:46,378
Robert De Niro's a genius.
52
00:02:46,462 --> 00:02:48,380
Has you seen "Analyze This"?
53
00:02:48,464 --> 00:02:51,883
- Yeah.
- Oh! Him doin' his fing!
54
00:02:51,934 --> 00:02:53,218
- I've had them both on my show.
- You, you...
55
00:02:53,269 --> 00:02:54,302
- Him and Billy.
- You good!
56
00:02:54,387 --> 00:02:56,721
What does he say?
No, you, you, you!
57
00:02:56,772 --> 00:02:59,607
No, you! You!
All the time to the other one,
58
00:02:59,692 --> 00:03:01,226
with the beard, who ain't that good.
59
00:03:01,277 --> 00:03:02,444
- You asked...
- You, you, you, you, no, you.
60
00:03:02,528 --> 00:03:04,612
You asked about the Actors Studio.
61
00:03:04,697 --> 00:03:06,231
Go see "Taxi Driver."
62
00:03:06,282 --> 00:03:09,818
- Is it better than "Analyze This"?
- Yes.
63
00:03:09,902 --> 00:03:12,704
Has you ever cried
during watching a movie?
64
00:03:12,738 --> 00:03:15,824
- Of course. I'm a pushover. I cry...
- You is cried?
65
00:03:15,908 --> 00:03:19,210
What are you laughing at?
I cry readily if I'm moved.
66
00:03:19,355 --> 00:03:21,990
Does you want us to redo that bit?
'Cause this is gonna go out.
67
00:03:22,024 --> 00:03:23,858
You don't want them to
know that you is cryin'.
68
00:03:23,943 --> 00:03:26,027
- You gonna...
- Has you ever...
69
00:03:27,780 --> 00:03:30,198
You gonna call me a fifi
boy for crying in a movie?
70
00:03:30,249 --> 00:03:32,534
Well, it's a bit over the
hill and round the bend, innit?
71
00:03:32,585 --> 00:03:35,203
Jesus, no!
72
00:03:35,287 --> 00:03:37,338
Jesus, no.
73
00:03:37,373 --> 00:03:41,042
Has you ever interviewed Shakespeares?
74
00:03:41,093 --> 00:03:42,961
- William Shakespeare?
- No doubt.
75
00:03:43,045 --> 00:03:45,213
Well, he died about 400 years ago.
76
00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:50,351
No, he ain't, 'cause
I has seen him at...
77
00:03:50,386 --> 00:03:51,436
- On the telly?
- On this... nope.
78
00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:54,772
On this... on the
theater, with the school.
79
00:03:54,857 --> 00:03:56,558
They made us go to see
William Shakespeare.
80
00:03:56,609 --> 00:03:59,811
You saw somebody playing
Shakespeare, which is great.
81
00:03:59,895 --> 00:04:02,864
I didn't really like it,
and me left after half an hour.
82
00:04:02,898 --> 00:04:04,616
Well, they chucked me out
'cause I was shining one
83
00:04:04,700 --> 00:04:11,289
of them laser pen things
on Shakespeare's head.
84
00:04:11,373 --> 00:04:13,741
- But...
- Respect. Shame on you.
85
00:04:48,691 --> 00:04:52,227
Did the premier
Bush come from a South?
86
00:04:52,311 --> 00:04:54,312
Yes, George Bush came from Texas.
87
00:04:54,397 --> 00:04:55,947
Ah, is good.
88
00:04:56,032 --> 00:04:59,034
And I went to school with
Barbara Bush at Ashley Hall here.
89
00:04:59,068 --> 00:05:01,069
- Uh, Barbara Bush?
- Yes.
90
00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:05,540
A bush... in Kazakhstan, we
laugh when we hear the name
91
00:05:05,575 --> 00:05:10,746
because a bush mean
the hair around, uh...
92
00:05:10,797 --> 00:05:12,998
the testes satchel.
93
00:05:16,386 --> 00:05:21,243
And, uh, Barbara, we say
in Kazakhstan mean to eat,
94
00:05:21,244 --> 00:05:24,053
so it is like a Barbara
Bush is to eat the...
95
00:05:24,054 --> 00:05:27,422
the hair from the testes!
96
00:05:27,563 --> 00:05:29,564
Is good.
97
00:05:33,403 --> 00:05:35,237
Now this is the spring house.
98
00:05:35,271 --> 00:05:37,689
- Go on in!
- Hello.
99
00:05:37,774 --> 00:05:40,492
This is a very ancient kind of tool.
100
00:05:40,576 --> 00:05:44,579
But it is a shame now
to use this primitive tool.
101
00:05:44,614 --> 00:05:49,084
We now have a machine.
It can chop a wood.
102
00:05:49,118 --> 00:05:51,703
Uh... without a man.
103
00:05:51,788 --> 00:05:54,256
Okay, now you have to understand
what we're about here.
104
00:05:54,290 --> 00:05:59,261
This is the eighteenth century, okay?
I am a historic interpreter.
105
00:05:59,295 --> 00:06:01,346
- You are a slave?
- I am not.
106
00:06:01,431 --> 00:06:05,383
I am a historic interpreter.
I am a museum educator.
107
00:06:05,468 --> 00:06:08,603
- Can I buy you?
- No, I'm afraid you can't.
108
00:06:08,638 --> 00:06:12,390
In Kazakhstan, we think USA very...
109
00:06:12,475 --> 00:06:17,813
technology very good.
And now I see is very primitive.
110
00:06:17,864 --> 00:06:20,315
This is 200 years ago.
111
00:06:20,366 --> 00:06:24,236
We are not in the year 2002 here.
112
00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:26,321
We are... this is a time machine
113
00:06:26,405 --> 00:06:30,992
back to the year 1750 or 1760.
114
00:06:31,043 --> 00:06:32,544
You make a time machine?
115
00:06:32,628 --> 00:06:36,331
- Can you please explain to him...
- I can't! I'm trying hard!
116
00:06:36,415 --> 00:06:39,084
Because he keeps telling me
about buying a slave.
117
00:06:39,168 --> 00:06:41,753
We don't do that!
It hasn't been done
118
00:06:41,838 --> 00:06:44,339
- since 1865.
- This is a historic site.
119
00:06:44,423 --> 00:06:47,175
Do you understand what
a historic site is?
120
00:06:47,226 --> 00:06:49,511
This is an outdoor museum.
121
00:06:49,595 --> 00:06:54,099
- I like you. Do you like me?
- I'm not sure!
122
00:06:54,183 --> 00:06:56,685
We gonna see the milking of the cow now.
123
00:06:56,736 --> 00:06:59,488
- This is a man or a woman?
- I don't know.
124
00:06:59,522 --> 00:07:00,739
- You don't know?
- I gotta...
125
00:07:00,823 --> 00:07:04,025
- I think it's a woman.
- It's not so clear.
126
00:07:04,110 --> 00:07:05,193
How do we find out?
127
00:07:05,278 --> 00:07:08,079
- I got to find out.
- Yeah, find out if a man or woman.
128
00:07:08,164 --> 00:07:09,531
Why do you throw the milk away?
129
00:07:09,615 --> 00:07:12,033
Um, I think because they
gave them some medicine
130
00:07:12,118 --> 00:07:13,869
so it's not good to drink.
131
00:07:13,953 --> 00:07:16,037
Oh, all right.
132
00:07:16,122 --> 00:07:17,506
I'm not really sure.
133
00:07:21,377 --> 00:07:22,878
- What?
- A woman.
134
00:07:22,962 --> 00:07:24,462
- You think is a woman?
- Mm-hmm.
135
00:07:24,547 --> 00:07:28,016
- It is not so clear.
- Do they always have, um,
136
00:07:28,050 --> 00:07:30,635
- girls like you milking the cows?
- Yes.
137
00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:32,270
- Mm-hmm.
- Yes.
138
00:07:32,355 --> 00:07:35,223
But why she wear clothes like a man?
139
00:07:35,274 --> 00:07:37,692
'Cause they all do when
they're working here.
140
00:07:37,727 --> 00:07:40,946
- She is a...
- No, she's not!
141
00:07:49,071 --> 00:07:50,071
Jankoey.
142
00:07:50,122 --> 00:07:53,325
- How you doin' there, Borat?
- Good.
143
00:07:53,409 --> 00:07:55,660
- You are a cowboy?
- Yeah.
144
00:07:55,745 --> 00:07:56,912
You are a cowboy!
145
00:07:56,996 --> 00:07:58,663
- I'm a cowboy.
- High five!
146
00:07:58,748 --> 00:08:01,633
Down low! Too slow!
147
00:08:03,085 --> 00:08:07,088
- Swing it to the steer.
- Wowowiwah!
148
00:08:07,139 --> 00:08:08,757
You have to swing a big circle.
149
00:08:08,841 --> 00:08:09,891
- Yes.
- Like this.
150
00:08:13,062 --> 00:08:16,314
Yes... yes.
151
00:08:16,399 --> 00:08:17,899
- See?
- Yes.
152
00:08:17,934 --> 00:08:19,267
- You got it now?
- Yes.
153
00:08:19,352 --> 00:08:21,019
Okay, I'm gonna turn it loose.
154
00:08:21,103 --> 00:08:24,356
- Yes.
- Keep it going!
155
00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:26,274
- You okay?
- I'm okay.
156
00:08:30,696 --> 00:08:33,031
And then you have to
throw it at the steer!
157
00:08:41,624 --> 00:08:45,961
How many, uh...
uh... punch, punch,
158
00:08:46,012 --> 00:08:49,681
you take to a cow before it fall?
159
00:08:49,765 --> 00:08:52,684
Me is eleven, my record.
160
00:08:52,768 --> 00:08:54,886
Uh, I hit a goat one time.
161
00:08:54,971 --> 00:08:56,054
- Yes.
- Never hit a cow.
162
00:08:56,138 --> 00:09:02,227
I once carry a woman
against her will for...
163
00:09:02,311 --> 00:09:04,779
near one mile.
164
00:09:04,814 --> 00:09:06,564
- You did?
- Yes.
165
00:09:06,649 --> 00:09:09,367
He carried a woman against
her will for one mile.
166
00:09:09,452 --> 00:09:11,152
Really?
167
00:09:11,237 --> 00:09:15,156
- Why would you do that?
- To show her my home.
168
00:09:15,207 --> 00:09:18,376
Oh, okay.
169
00:09:18,461 --> 00:09:21,630
- Did she like it when she got there?
- Yes.
170
00:09:21,664 --> 00:09:23,298
- She my wife now.
- She's your wife now?
171
00:09:30,806 --> 00:09:32,807
What's your job, please?
172
00:09:32,842 --> 00:09:35,176
Working the jail.
I take care of prisoners.
173
00:09:35,227 --> 00:09:38,313
They have a very nice time in a jail.
174
00:09:38,347 --> 00:09:39,898
Uh-huh.
They have a real nice time.
175
00:09:39,982 --> 00:09:42,150
We can't even go in there and hit 'em!
176
00:09:42,184 --> 00:09:44,152
- You joke with me.
- No.
177
00:09:44,186 --> 00:09:47,288
- You cannot hit?
- Not unless they attack me first.
178
00:09:47,356 --> 00:09:51,326
Uh... two night ago,
I was in New York.
179
00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:54,362
I went to a nightclub discothéque
180
00:09:54,447 --> 00:09:56,748
- called "The Meat Packers."
- Uh-huh.
181
00:09:56,832 --> 00:10:00,035
There was a man there
with a hat of cowboy,
182
00:10:00,086 --> 00:10:03,705
but he do not wear "anty pants."
183
00:10:03,756 --> 00:10:05,090
- Underpants?
- Yes.
184
00:10:05,174 --> 00:10:10,345
And, uh... he tell me he is a cowboy
and he want to ride me.
185
00:10:10,379 --> 00:10:12,764
- And he wants to ride you?
- Yes.
186
00:10:12,848 --> 00:10:14,549
I think maybe he's queer.
187
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:17,802
- Like to do, uh...?
- Yeah.
188
00:10:17,887 --> 00:10:20,889
Yeah, that's what that meant.
189
00:10:20,973 --> 00:10:24,809
I let him do massage on me.
Oh, my God.
190
00:10:24,894 --> 00:10:26,895
Yeah, that's what that meant.
191
00:10:26,946 --> 00:10:29,948
- Has it ever happened to you?
- No.
192
00:10:33,953 --> 00:10:35,985
And if someone were to ask me that,
I'd probably hit 'em
193
00:10:36,020 --> 00:10:37,455
- right in the teeth.
- Yes.
194
00:10:42,628 --> 00:10:45,130
I have a wife.
195
00:10:45,214 --> 00:10:46,664
- Oh, gosh!
- Yes.
196
00:10:46,749 --> 00:10:49,918
- You want to see a picture?
- Yes!
197
00:10:49,969 --> 00:10:51,386
Yes.
198
00:10:51,420 --> 00:10:52,804
It is her.
199
00:10:52,888 --> 00:10:54,756
Oh. She's pretty.
200
00:10:54,807 --> 00:10:57,926
- Yes.
- She couldn't come with you?
201
00:11:00,479 --> 00:11:03,398
- Did you know that picture was in there?
- Ah, yes, my wife!
202
00:11:03,432 --> 00:11:06,684
- Ah!
- It's not for lady to see.
203
00:11:08,104 --> 00:11:10,188
That's more of your wife
than I wanted to see!
204
00:11:10,272 --> 00:11:12,273
- That's my wife.
- Oh, that's your wife.
205
00:11:12,324 --> 00:11:14,943
- Oh, wow!
- Hey!
206
00:11:14,994 --> 00:11:18,279
- Don't be lookin' at all those pictures!
- Huh? Ooh!
207
00:11:18,364 --> 00:11:20,999
Yes, she is a nice.
208
00:11:21,083 --> 00:11:24,502
- Whoa, she's nice, man!
- Yes, she's nice.
209
00:11:24,587 --> 00:11:26,087
Do not show your wife!
210
00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:36,363
Yo, so diggity check yourself
before you wreck yourself,
211
00:11:36,447 --> 00:11:39,066
because I is here wif four people
212
00:11:39,150 --> 00:11:44,071
who has all fought about
somefing called religion.
213
00:11:44,155 --> 00:11:47,708
How...
powerful...
214
00:11:47,792 --> 00:11:53,213
- is God?
- I think there is a power.
215
00:11:53,297 --> 00:11:55,999
I think most people
at one point or another
216
00:11:56,084 --> 00:11:59,586
experience that power.
They draw upon something
217
00:11:59,671 --> 00:12:01,672
that seems larger than themselves.
218
00:12:01,833 --> 00:12:05,418
Can God do better stuff
then David Blaines?
219
00:12:05,453 --> 00:12:07,370
You're asking God to
make square circles,
220
00:12:07,455 --> 00:12:09,840
which are impossible.
God can't do impossible things.
221
00:12:09,924 --> 00:12:11,174
That's not a limitation on God.
222
00:12:11,259 --> 00:12:14,711
There have always been magicians,
and there always will be.
223
00:12:14,796 --> 00:12:20,133
And some of them... claim...
to be really producing magic.
224
00:12:20,218 --> 00:12:24,604
So, ain't God just an
overhyped David Blaines?
225
00:12:24,639 --> 00:12:28,128
No, and a lot of people
would find that
226
00:12:28,129 --> 00:12:31,895
- suggestion very offensive.
- Yo, sorry.
227
00:12:31,979 --> 00:12:35,198
If God is got all these amazing powers,
228
00:12:35,283 --> 00:12:38,401
why don't he flex it every day?
Like, if you is got it, flaunt it!
229
00:12:38,486 --> 00:12:40,153
Like, me mate Dave...
he's got a nine-incher.
230
00:12:40,204 --> 00:12:45,075
He gets it out all the time!
God should be showin' his powers!
231
00:12:45,159 --> 00:12:48,211
Well, let's talk about this man,
232
00:12:48,296 --> 00:12:52,465
the main man, the mac daddy
of the Christian fing.
233
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:55,752
- What was his name again?
- Jesus Christ.
234
00:12:57,004 --> 00:13:01,091
Why did Jesus go round
wif all them reindeers?
235
00:13:01,305 --> 00:13:04,724
I'm not sure I've seen
the same images you've seen.
236
00:13:04,809 --> 00:13:08,695
I think you're confusing
him with Santa Claus.
237
00:13:08,779 --> 00:13:10,981
- So, does Jesus really exist...
- Yes.
238
00:13:11,032 --> 00:13:13,033
...or is it just your father dressed up?
239
00:13:13,117 --> 00:13:17,132
Yes, Jesus exists as the second person
240
00:13:17,133 --> 00:13:21,358
of what we believe to be the Triune God.
241
00:13:21,393 --> 00:13:26,246
Is it true that he was born
in a stable?
242
00:13:26,330 --> 00:13:28,214
It's possible.
243
00:13:28,299 --> 00:13:32,052
He was born in those kind
of simple circumstances.
244
00:13:32,136 --> 00:13:36,222
- No room in the inn and that sort of thing.
- There was no room in the...
245
00:13:36,307 --> 00:13:39,806
- Yeah.
- Well, that's 'cause it was Christmas, innit?
246
00:13:40,594 --> 00:13:47,100
Let's talk about marriage.
Would you ever marry a Jewish girl?
247
00:13:47,184 --> 00:13:50,987
- I've chosen not to marry.
- I've chosen...
248
00:13:51,022 --> 00:13:54,107
- What, just to play around?
- ...a celibate life.
249
00:13:54,191 --> 00:13:57,193
So, how many months
has you been celibate?
250
00:13:57,278 --> 00:14:00,413
- 52 years next summer.
- So, you ain't done it for fifty...
251
00:14:00,498 --> 00:14:02,415
That's right. That's right.
252
00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:07,504
And I can tell you
there's more to life than sex.
253
00:14:07,538 --> 00:14:10,840
Would you,
as a gesture...
254
00:14:12,543 --> 00:14:16,679
of bringing us together,
marry her?
255
00:14:16,714 --> 00:14:19,883
There are other ways of bringing
us together than marriage.
256
00:14:19,934 --> 00:14:23,553
What if she was a bit fitter?
257
00:14:23,637 --> 00:14:26,022
Would you consider marrying her then?
258
00:14:26,057 --> 00:14:31,194
- I am considering marriage not at all.
- But people out there,
259
00:14:31,228 --> 00:14:33,396
dey see people who is
meant to be religious
260
00:14:33,481 --> 00:14:36,950
behavin' in unreligious way.
Ain't it hypocriticalist
261
00:14:37,034 --> 00:14:40,954
that so many nuns also
work part-time as strippers?
262
00:14:41,038 --> 00:14:45,408
Well, I don't think you can
demonstrate that statistically.
263
00:14:45,493 --> 00:14:47,410
- Yo!
- That's an absurd statement
264
00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:48,995
- that you just made.
- No, it ain't!
265
00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:51,798
I has been at my mate
Ricky C's twenty-first,
266
00:14:51,882 --> 00:14:54,884
and there was this nun
that came in, and, like,
267
00:14:54,919 --> 00:14:57,720
like, 10 minutes later,
she had her babylons out,
268
00:14:57,755 --> 00:15:00,090
- was whipping shaving cream off his body!
- You just said,
269
00:15:00,141 --> 00:15:04,594
"So many nuns work as strippers,"
and then you said, "this one."
270
00:15:04,678 --> 00:15:07,063
Well, she said her name
was Sister Fist Her.
271
00:15:07,098 --> 00:15:08,681
- But she...
- Was that a part of her act
272
00:15:08,766 --> 00:15:10,100
or was that really who she was?
273
00:15:10,184 --> 00:15:14,139
I would really prefer that you
move off this topic because I
274
00:15:14,140 --> 00:15:18,158
find it offensive. It's not
documented by any kind of evidence.
275
00:15:18,242 --> 00:15:20,193
- We is got a video!
- It's hearsay.
276
00:15:20,277 --> 00:15:22,362
- I is got a video of it.
- It's hearsay.
277
00:15:22,446 --> 00:15:25,665
Yo, me just want to say
big up all yourselves.
278
00:15:25,749 --> 00:15:28,535
Respect.
Dis has been well interesting.
279
00:15:28,619 --> 00:15:31,004
It's been deep, it's been everyfing,
280
00:15:31,088 --> 00:15:33,289
there's been times
when it's been boring.
281
00:15:33,340 --> 00:15:34,841
But that's life, innit?
282
00:15:34,925 --> 00:15:36,009
- Yes.
- And that's deep.
283
00:15:36,093 --> 00:15:39,295
Keep it real.
And you lot out there,
284
00:15:39,380 --> 00:15:44,417
listen up to what has been said
and fink about it for yourself.
285
00:16:03,905 --> 00:16:05,405
Vat's up!
286
00:16:05,456 --> 00:16:07,407
Being gay is the new coolest thing!
287
00:16:07,458 --> 00:16:11,328
So that's why I has come
to the gayest part of Ameca,
288
00:16:11,412 --> 00:16:12,713
Alabama!
289
00:16:20,088 --> 00:16:21,588
Yeah, it's great!
290
00:16:25,226 --> 00:16:27,010
Go! Go! Go, Alabama!
291
00:16:27,095 --> 00:16:30,180
Go! Go! Go, Alabama!
292
00:16:30,264 --> 00:16:33,233
Go! Go! Go, Alabama!
293
00:16:36,938 --> 00:16:38,438
Great.
294
00:16:55,423 --> 00:16:58,592
You're embarrassing
all 85,000 people here.
295
00:16:58,626 --> 00:17:01,511
- Get off our field!
- I'm just dancing!
296
00:17:01,596 --> 00:17:04,131
Also, jetzt bin ich hier.
What your name?
297
00:17:04,182 --> 00:17:06,016
- What?
- What's your name?
298
00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:11,138
- Shaud Williams.
- Great. Shia.
299
00:17:11,189 --> 00:17:13,807
- Shaud.
- Shaud.
300
00:17:13,858 --> 00:17:15,642
- Shaud Williams.
- Shaud.
301
00:17:15,693 --> 00:17:20,030
- So, Shaudi, what position do you play?
- I play running back.
302
00:17:20,114 --> 00:17:22,482
So, what do you say
to the people out there
303
00:17:22,567 --> 00:17:25,952
who see that you are so
powerful in your physique,
304
00:17:25,987 --> 00:17:29,873
have very powerful size
and pectoral muscles,
305
00:17:29,957 --> 00:17:33,376
and wonder what your
shwanzenstucker is like?
306
00:17:33,461 --> 00:17:38,131
Uh, I don't know, I've never...
been put in that situation.
307
00:17:38,166 --> 00:17:40,834
Are you able to date
other members of the team,
308
00:17:40,885 --> 00:17:43,837
or do you have to wait
till the season is over?
309
00:17:43,888 --> 00:17:45,172
What?
310
00:17:45,223 --> 00:17:48,725
No, there's nobody
on the team like that. No.
311
00:17:48,810 --> 00:17:52,896
So, you must realize that you have
many, many fans out in Austria.
312
00:17:52,980 --> 00:17:56,016
They see you, and they
would just do anything
313
00:17:56,067 --> 00:17:57,484
to kind of spend a night with you.
314
00:17:57,518 --> 00:18:01,071
- What do you say to those guys?
- I'm not gay.
315
00:18:01,155 --> 00:18:03,573
So, I'm not gonna spend
any night with any guy.
316
00:18:03,658 --> 00:18:05,025
So...
317
00:18:05,109 --> 00:18:08,662
So, do you have a message
to Austria's gay community?
318
00:18:08,696 --> 00:18:11,698
Yeah, I'm not gay,
so don't come looking for me.
319
00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:20,423
So what does freedom mean to you?
320
00:18:20,508 --> 00:18:23,376
Freedom is being able
to do what you want,
321
00:18:23,461 --> 00:18:24,845
say what you want,
322
00:18:24,879 --> 00:18:26,763
without government
looking over your shoulder,
323
00:18:26,848 --> 00:18:29,216
without government's
hand in your pocket,
324
00:18:29,267 --> 00:18:31,218
without the Jewish hand in your pocket.
325
00:18:31,302 --> 00:18:33,270
Yes. The Juden.
326
00:18:33,354 --> 00:18:35,889
You know in Austria, they, you know,
327
00:18:35,940 --> 00:18:39,226
- the government is run...
- By Jews.
328
00:18:39,310 --> 00:18:42,145
Freedom in Austria is a lot about
329
00:18:42,230 --> 00:18:44,447
being able to walk down the street
330
00:18:44,532 --> 00:18:47,284
with my boyfriend Diesel,
just holding hands,
331
00:18:47,368 --> 00:18:49,986
and without people staring at us.
332
00:18:50,071 --> 00:18:53,990
- Is that what you're campaigning for?
- Well, I'm not, uh,
333
00:18:54,075 --> 00:18:56,243
too hot on your right to
hold hands with your boyfriend
334
00:18:56,327 --> 00:18:58,295
but what you do in the
privacy of your home,
335
00:18:58,379 --> 00:19:00,413
as long as you stay away from my kids,
336
00:19:00,464 --> 00:19:03,250
- I have no problem with what you do.
- Yeah, well...
337
00:19:03,301 --> 00:19:06,670
You try to recruit my kids in any way,
338
00:19:06,754 --> 00:19:08,305
then you would have a problem with me.
339
00:19:08,389 --> 00:19:13,059
So, Clay...
you've got a kind of very manly look.
340
00:19:13,094 --> 00:19:16,313
- When did you get to be so cute?
- When I was born.
341
00:19:16,397 --> 00:19:18,431
You're so good-looking,
and don't you know it.
342
00:19:18,516 --> 00:19:22,435
- I like women. Thank you anyway.
- So, you are bi?
343
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:28,108
No, I'm not bi, and I'm not gay,
and if you wanna...
344
00:19:28,159 --> 00:19:31,745
if you're gonna speak on that
subject, you can take a hike!
345
00:19:31,779 --> 00:19:33,997
You're not my type.
346
00:19:34,081 --> 00:19:37,284
- Is it because I'm too fat?
- No.
347
00:19:37,335 --> 00:19:39,703
But is it what I... I've been...
348
00:19:39,787 --> 00:19:42,622
- I'm really jet-lagged. I look terrible.
- Your interview is over.
349
00:19:42,673 --> 00:19:44,541
You wanna be a professional,
be a professional.
350
00:19:44,625 --> 00:19:46,451
Don't be some [bleep] [bleep].
351
00:19:51,849 --> 00:19:54,351
And me has got one other request,
352
00:19:54,435 --> 00:19:56,219
which me would love you to do.
353
00:19:56,304 --> 00:19:58,054
Me wanna get all, like,
354
00:19:58,139 --> 00:20:02,809
respected people
to do two lines of a rap.
355
00:20:02,893 --> 00:20:05,061
So I is written somefing like that.
356
00:20:05,146 --> 00:20:07,647
Like, "Word up, me
name be James Lipton."
357
00:20:07,698 --> 00:20:09,149
I felt I may have spelt it wrong.
358
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,651
"Givin' mad props."
You know what mad props is?
359
00:20:11,702 --> 00:20:13,036
- Respect.
- Yeah, I know.
360
00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:17,540
"Mad props to Shakespeare.
Check it, just 'cause you like acting."
361
00:20:17,625 --> 00:20:19,042
Dat's to the people out there.
362
00:20:19,126 --> 00:20:22,162
- "It don't mean you is a queer."
- No, I'm gonna do another one.
363
00:20:27,134 --> 00:20:29,419
Yo, you out there now listen to me!
364
00:20:29,503 --> 00:20:31,805
Just do like me, and my bro, the MC!
365
00:20:31,839 --> 00:20:34,507
Think, my friends.
Consider, reflect!
366
00:20:34,592 --> 00:20:36,726
Give mad props to the world.
367
00:20:36,811 --> 00:20:39,312
Translation: respect.
368
00:20:40,848 --> 00:20:42,098
Fresh.
369
00:20:44,638 --> 00:20:48,086
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~