1 00:00:06,047 --> 00:00:08,258 Iris, trajectory. And make it good news. 2 00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:09,384 Liquid fuel reserves 3 00:00:09,467 --> 00:00:10,969 are insufficient to correct our course-- 4 00:00:11,052 --> 00:00:12,595 Then we'll think of something else, Iris. 5 00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:13,722 Something scientific. 6 00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:16,391 TV RYAN CLARK: How can so much light... 7 00:00:16,474 --> 00:00:18,518 ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 8 00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:19,602 ...feel so dark? 9 00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,855 The sun gave our ancestors life. 10 00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:25,900 The fuck we gonna let it bring us death. 11 00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:27,610 -I agree. -♪ (MUSIC STOP ABRUPTLY) ♪ 12 00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:28,945 -HERMAN JUDD: You see that? -MADS: Yeah. 13 00:00:29,028 --> 00:00:32,407 It's my TV show, and I'm barely even in it. Look. 14 00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:33,575 I agree. 15 00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:34,993 I concur. 16 00:00:35,076 --> 00:00:36,119 I think so too. 17 00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:39,497 -Embrace the fear, always. -I absolutely agree. 18 00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:41,124 HERMAN: Why does he agree with everything 19 00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:42,667 -that's said to him. -You hate agreeing. 20 00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:46,129 Exactly! I-- You know what, I don't understand this. 21 00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:48,006 Why doesn't Iris go up to them 22 00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:49,841 and tell them about all the cool shit I do? 23 00:00:49,924 --> 00:00:50,967 Not to be unkind, 24 00:00:51,050 --> 00:00:53,261 but you don't actually do that much cool shit. 25 00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:54,471 What are you talking about? 26 00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:56,347 The whole time I've known you, you've done, like, 27 00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:59,309 -maybe one piece of cool shit. -Which? Uh, you mean, uh... 28 00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:01,561 -The time you crushed the soda can. -...crushing the soda can? 29 00:01:01,644 --> 00:01:03,354 Oh, man, that was so badass. 30 00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:04,731 You need to get crushing. 31 00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:08,443 -(DEVICE CHIMES) -I agree. 32 00:01:08,526 --> 00:01:11,780 ♪ ("AVENUE 5" THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 33 00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:18,495 ♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 34 00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:21,331 Oh, my Go-- Fifty-seven more eels dead 35 00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:22,624 -overnight. -RYAN CLARK: Ugh. 36 00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:24,209 MATT SPENCER: God, all that unfulfilled potential. 37 00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:25,877 You think about what they could've been. 38 00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:28,087 Food, Matt. They could have been food. 39 00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:31,508 MATT: Hey, there's a dot on the horizon. 40 00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:34,093 I mean, we just avoided one sun. 41 00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:35,470 Are we going for best out of three? 42 00:01:35,553 --> 00:01:37,180 Matt, will you shut your doom hole? 43 00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:38,640 We're trying to suppress those mem-- 44 00:01:38,723 --> 00:01:41,935 There's a dot. Is that a good dot or a bad dot? 45 00:01:42,018 --> 00:01:43,686 I bring news. We have a dot. 46 00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,438 We know. Is it good? Is it a good dot? 47 00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,315 Most likely a military space station. 48 00:01:47,398 --> 00:01:49,317 -It's conga time, folks! -Ooh-ho! 49 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,820 Oh, my gosh! Intelligent crew members. 50 00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:53,530 They could help us fix the eel tank. 51 00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:54,989 (CHUCKLES) I mean, the guys, I work with, 52 00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:57,659 it's like someone drew eyes on a sock. 53 00:01:57,742 --> 00:02:00,870 -No... No offence. -And new friends! (CHUCKLES) 54 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,831 -Did I say that out loud? -BILLIE MCEVOY: Yeah. 55 00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:06,835 -Herman Judd on deck! -Here to crush shit up. 56 00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:10,213 Not now, Judd. We have got an actual space station. 57 00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:12,674 This is-- This is hope, right here. 58 00:02:12,757 --> 00:02:14,551 -Uh... -♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 59 00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:17,971 Bridge crew, set a course for that space station. 60 00:02:18,054 --> 00:02:19,556 Never mind the speed limit. 61 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:21,432 You heard the boss. Let's make human contact. 62 00:02:21,516 --> 00:02:23,601 -New people, people. -I agree! 63 00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:25,728 Oh, I actually do this time. 64 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,355 RYAN: Which one is it? It's that one? 65 00:02:27,438 --> 00:02:29,065 -Right there. -(BUTTON BEEPS) 66 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,650 (IN AMERICAN ACCENT) Stormfalcon. 67 00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:33,736 This is Captain Ryan Clark of Avenue 5. 68 00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:37,866 Our eel tanks are fucked. Can you help us? Over. 69 00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:40,368 JOHANNA: (IN ENGLISH ACCENT) This is Johanna from the Stormfalcon. 70 00:02:40,451 --> 00:02:41,661 What seems to be the problem? 71 00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:43,371 Okay, tell her that the nanofilters are on the fritz, 72 00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:45,874 -that the tension stat's blown-- -Ask if they have any shoe deodorizer. 73 00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:47,542 Will you shut the fuck up? Both of you. 74 00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:49,961 (INTERCOM BEEPS) 75 00:02:50,044 --> 00:02:52,130 (IN ENGLISH ACCENT) Johanna, how lovely to hear an English voice. 76 00:02:52,213 --> 00:02:54,257 Uh, listen, I wonder if we can do this face to face. 77 00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:57,010 I could come over with some improvised icebreakers, 78 00:02:57,093 --> 00:02:58,803 maybe a tray of home-baked protein. 79 00:02:58,887 --> 00:02:59,971 (INTERCOM BEEPS) 80 00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,895 (RADIO STATIC) 81 00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:11,649 JOHANNA: Copy that. Ready and waiting. 82 00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:14,527 -What's her problem? -Now, we need a delegation 83 00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:17,071 with the requisite social skills. 84 00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:18,197 I could go. 85 00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:20,116 I'm a virtuostic conversationalist. Self-taught. 86 00:03:20,199 --> 00:03:23,036 -Billie, Matt, Spike. Let's go. -Yeah, keep the number small. 87 00:03:23,119 --> 00:03:25,246 Smart. Okay. Away, team! 88 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:31,711 ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 89 00:03:32,211 --> 00:03:33,212 (AIR HISSES) 90 00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:34,422 SPIKE MARTIN: Stay frosty. 91 00:03:34,505 --> 00:03:37,884 Space marines, tough as fuck and twice as big. 92 00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:44,098 Hello! Welcome to the Stormfalcon. 93 00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:46,225 -Lovely to see you. -Hi. 94 00:03:47,226 --> 00:03:49,854 Uh, on behalf of the people of Avenue 5, 95 00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:51,064 we brought flapjack. 96 00:03:51,147 --> 00:03:54,567 Wow, thanks. We love anything cooked in a rectangle. 97 00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:56,152 A bit too much, some of us. 98 00:03:56,235 --> 00:03:58,112 -(CHUCKLES) -JOHANNA: Come on through. 99 00:03:58,196 --> 00:04:00,073 So, you've gotta ask for the chief engineer 100 00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:02,867 -as soon as possible, so that we can get straight-- -Billie! Billie! Yes, let's-- 101 00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,369 Let's do the human stuff first. 102 00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:06,621 JOHANNA: Uh, this is our main lounge area. 103 00:04:06,704 --> 00:04:08,539 It gets a bit wild when the jigsaws are out. 104 00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:12,168 Well, this is, uh, surprising for a, uh, military facility. 105 00:04:12,251 --> 00:04:14,504 Oh no, actually, we're a science unit. 106 00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:17,090 Military? (CHUCKLES) I wouldn't fancy my chances 107 00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:18,758 of passing the physical. (CHUCKLES) 108 00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:21,177 MATT: God, it's so civilized here. 109 00:04:21,260 --> 00:04:22,595 Avenue 5 is a cultural void. 110 00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:24,430 We have a problem with toddler combat. 111 00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,349 That is a bit of an exaggeration. 112 00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:28,017 -Toddler combat? -MATT: Yeah, 113 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:30,520 kids so starved of stimuli that they've started 114 00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:33,064 kind of a cage fighting thing in the soft play area. 115 00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:35,316 It doesn't sound great when you put it like that. 116 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,318 But there's a lot of adult supervision. 117 00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:39,862 Sometimes crowds of up to 50, 60 people. 118 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,155 I'm gonna come clean. 119 00:04:41,239 --> 00:04:44,909 We are just such huge fans of the show about you. 120 00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:47,245 -Huh? -Oh, tha-- the-- yes, yes. 121 00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:51,249 "How can so much light feel so dark?" 122 00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:52,834 -Is that one of the... the-- -Yes. 123 00:04:52,917 --> 00:04:54,919 You-- you know, um, one of my favorite lines 124 00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:58,881 that he does is, "Can you help fix the eel tank?" 125 00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:01,300 Sorry, which one are you in the... in the show? 126 00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:05,555 Oh, Billie. Uh, Billie McEvoy. Chief science officer. 127 00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:07,056 RYAN: Really, is that what you are? 128 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,391 -Yes. -JOHANNA: Are you sure? 129 00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:10,601 Because on the show, she has a much more pleasant energy. 130 00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:12,895 -(PEDESTAL SQUEAKS) -JOHANNA: Yeah, that's her. 131 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,981 That's-- that's her, and I think... 132 00:05:15,064 --> 00:05:16,357 Yeah, there she is, too. 133 00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:20,486 (CHUCKLES) No, she can't even spell "science." Or "eels." 134 00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:23,865 Oh, eels. I think we can help you with that. 135 00:05:23,948 --> 00:05:26,367 Uh, this is Lyle, our resident physicist, 136 00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,870 freethinker, and all-around nonconformist. 137 00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:31,914 I find traditional methods of thought too rigid. Sue me! 138 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:34,959 Captain, would you care to stay for supper? 139 00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:36,919 -Bring some plus ones. -Oh, we really can't 140 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,421 because the eels are actually in cris-- 141 00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:39,922 Billie, human. 142 00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:42,508 You know, that would be absolutely delightful. 143 00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:43,593 Well, I could whip up some 144 00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:45,762 calcium phosphate noodles in the emulsifier. 145 00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:48,097 You should meet Frank. Frank is our you. 146 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,266 Sad eyes. Phenomenal omelets. 147 00:05:50,349 --> 00:05:52,477 Captain, let me show you some long chain fatty acids 148 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:53,853 we were looking at the other day. 149 00:05:53,936 --> 00:05:55,605 And obviously you checked the solenoid valve, 150 00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:56,606 they clog up faster 151 00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:58,066 -than a gas station toilet. -Yes! 152 00:05:58,149 --> 00:06:02,320 You really do know your stuff. I mean, God! I miss competence. 153 00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:04,781 Um, I'm a bit of a maverick myself. 154 00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:06,866 (CHUCKLES) Check the old neck warmer. 155 00:06:06,949 --> 00:06:09,994 (CHUCKLES) Friend, that's not a ponytail. 156 00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:12,455 This is a ponytail. 157 00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,665 Wow. Spike Martin. 158 00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:18,044 Fifth Canadian on Mars? Never heard of him. (CHUCKLES) 159 00:06:18,127 --> 00:06:20,463 Yeah, yeah, that's me. 160 00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:22,340 LUCAS SATO: Come on, give me something else, 161 00:06:22,423 --> 00:06:23,674 something better. 162 00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:25,760 Look, I've been riding this lithium thing for you, bareback. 163 00:06:25,843 --> 00:06:28,137 -I should be on that list! -Which list? 164 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:31,140 Time magazine's "50 Most Tragic Middle Managers"? 165 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,142 Yes to the coffee, no to you. 166 00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,894 IRIS KIMURA: Look, we've got one last supply shuttle 167 00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:37,146 -before they're out of range-- -Why are you still here? 168 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,272 I'm busy. 169 00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:39,941 Right, these windows aren't gonna lick themselves. 170 00:06:40,024 --> 00:06:41,526 What's wrong? 171 00:06:41,609 --> 00:06:45,863 I can smell fear, and... is it burritos? 172 00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:49,367 -What are you hiding? -All right. 173 00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:50,743 You want in on a little Armageddon. 174 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,954 -(DOOR SLAMS) -LUCAS: Fine. 175 00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:56,415 Earth is running out of lithium. Now you know. 176 00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:57,875 So there'll be no supply shuttle, 177 00:06:57,959 --> 00:06:59,168 there'll be no nothing. 178 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,546 Wait, I saw documentaries about lithium shortages, 179 00:07:01,629 --> 00:07:03,089 but I thought they were just documentaries. 180 00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:05,508 Without lithium, you can say goodbye to banks 181 00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:07,343 and telecoms and computers, and you can say hello 182 00:07:07,426 --> 00:07:08,845 to wearing untreated animal skins 183 00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,596 and wiping your ass with leaves. 184 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,850 I am not saying hello to that. Or shaking your hand. 185 00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:15,852 Fuck it, maybe I'll get on that last shuttle. 186 00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:18,312 Who can blame you? This must be exhausting for you. 187 00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:20,648 -(GROANS) -IRIS: See! 188 00:07:20,731 --> 00:07:22,692 Maybe, you just need to... (GRUNTS) ...rest. 189 00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:25,236 Ass to the left. (EXHALES DEEPLY) 190 00:07:25,319 --> 00:07:28,072 All right, I'm platituded out. And I drugged your coffee. 191 00:07:28,906 --> 00:07:30,658 -Is it? -Hmm. 192 00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:32,743 -Yeah. -(INHALES SHARPLY) 193 00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:35,621 And... there he goes. 194 00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:40,251 Leaving on shuttle, immediately. Standard meal, non-insectoid. 195 00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:43,171 RYAN: Meet some of our finest and most available. 196 00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:44,964 This is, uh, this is Frank. 197 00:07:45,047 --> 00:07:46,549 -JOHANNA: Hello. -Frank has a cookery show 198 00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:47,717 on our ship, called-- 199 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,719 what's it called, Frank? Leave It Alone, is it? 200 00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:51,053 -Let It Settle. -RYAN: Let It Settle. 201 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,430 Live from the Frank Tank. 202 00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:54,140 -(CHUCKLES) -What-- what kind of cuisine? 203 00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:55,808 Tell us about the cuisine, Frank. 204 00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:57,643 Uh, it's high flavor, low voltage. 205 00:07:57,727 --> 00:08:00,855 I use only hotel cabin appliances, 206 00:08:00,938 --> 00:08:01,856 and love. 207 00:08:01,939 --> 00:08:03,441 Oh, that's what you do with your love. 208 00:08:03,524 --> 00:08:05,610 Okay, um, we just lost another eel. 209 00:08:05,693 --> 00:08:10,114 -Eel Patrick Harris is dead. -Oh, no. He was great. 210 00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:12,283 -I love your earrings. -Great earrings. 211 00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:14,327 Frank is the genius. I'm barely here. 212 00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:17,038 It's just Frank Kelly and His Invisible Wife. 213 00:08:17,121 --> 00:08:18,998 (CHUCKLES) So you can move on. 214 00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:20,666 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 215 00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:24,253 Unbelievable. The attitude on that bitch. 216 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:25,588 Attitude. 217 00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:26,714 Okay, I'm panicking. 218 00:08:26,797 --> 00:08:28,090 I know I said I wanted to meet new people, 219 00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:29,425 but I'm really not very good at this. 220 00:08:29,508 --> 00:08:30,426 Okay, deep breaths. 221 00:08:30,509 --> 00:08:32,345 -Easy, tiger. -This is Rav. 222 00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:35,097 -JOHANNA: Good to meet you. -Hello to you. 223 00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:38,184 Oh, I like your hands. Um... Left and right, classic. 224 00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:41,604 Yes. Yes, thank you. 225 00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:43,397 Rav, for fuck's sake, get your chap sorted. 226 00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:44,398 Sorry. Sorry. 227 00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:46,234 How would you rate Judd on the TV show? 228 00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:49,028 Judd. The owner of the ship. Herman Judd. "I agree." 229 00:08:49,111 --> 00:08:50,446 Oh, the agreement guy. 230 00:08:50,529 --> 00:08:52,156 He doesn't really add very much. 231 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:56,369 Hmm. Yeah. And you do? Hmm. If anything, you subtract. 232 00:08:56,452 --> 00:08:57,995 You know, I get into a bit of a pickle 233 00:08:58,079 --> 00:08:59,413 and then I feel hyper self-conscious 234 00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:01,791 -about everything that I say. -Rav, the key to small talk 235 00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:04,794 is pretending that you have no sexuality and no aggression. 236 00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:06,629 Okay? Ready? Oh, here we go. 237 00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:07,922 -RAV MULCAIR: Hi. -Hi, hi. 238 00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:09,048 Can we say that anymore? 239 00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:10,800 God knows what we can say these days, right? 240 00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:11,842 What do you want? 241 00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:13,135 (PLATES CLAPPING) 242 00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:17,640 Okay, people. If you could all please take off your shoes 243 00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:21,102 and take one of the pairs of moccasins provided. 244 00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:22,645 Would it be okay if I keep mine on? 245 00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:23,938 I've got a bit of a cavus foot. 246 00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:25,564 So I need these orthotic inserts. 247 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,441 Right, yeah, he needs a rigid sole 248 00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:29,026 to support his high arches. 249 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:31,320 -Right, Captain? -Yes. That's... That's right. 250 00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:34,407 Uh, but if you have a clog or Japanese water sandals? 251 00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:36,492 Soft-soled shoes are the best practice. 252 00:09:36,575 --> 00:09:38,953 (SHUSHES) Paula. (CLEARS THROAT) 253 00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:41,914 You will be fine in your socks, Captain. 254 00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:44,625 Everyone else! If you wouldn't mind. 255 00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:46,377 JUDD: Good call. 256 00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,297 -♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(INDISTINCT CHATTER) 257 00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:52,925 Oh, and that "collision course for the sun" episode, 258 00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:55,261 it was so dramatic, I clenched so hard, 259 00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:57,722 -I shattered a rear molar. -Did you? Really? Well... 260 00:09:57,805 --> 00:09:59,974 You know, I actually didn't see that episode 261 00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:04,020 because I was too busy watching our eels suffocate to death. 262 00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:06,022 -Okay, okay. -Yeah, dumpling, 263 00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:08,274 we really should do something about the eels. 264 00:10:08,357 --> 00:10:09,317 -Dumpling? -Honey, 265 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:10,860 do we need to talk about this "Ryan" thing? 266 00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:12,028 -(BILLIE MUTTERING) -I know, I know. 267 00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:14,030 Oh, sure. And let's tell our new friends 268 00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:16,365 that you kept me locked in a cabin for six months. 269 00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,784 Okay, now that you mention it, yes, there's big tension 270 00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,536 -between you and Ryan. -Thank you. 271 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:24,248 -No, our eels are fucking dying! -All right, all right. Johanna-- 272 00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:26,667 You know what I miss most of all? 273 00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:28,544 -My dogs. -Dogs? 274 00:10:28,627 --> 00:10:30,421 (CHUCKLING) I love dogs, you have dogs? 275 00:10:30,504 --> 00:10:32,089 -(CHUCKLES) I have beagles. -No! 276 00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,424 And I have photos. 277 00:10:33,507 --> 00:10:36,135 (CHUCKLES) She has beagles, let me see. 278 00:10:36,218 --> 00:10:38,387 Ooh. (CHUCKLES) You're not gonna see that one. 279 00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:40,681 (GASPS) 280 00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:43,309 (CHUCKLES) Oh, my God, look at his little nose. 281 00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:46,687 Oh, my God. I bet it tastes like cake. (CHUCKLES) 282 00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:48,397 -He looks like a right laugh. -(CHUCKLES) 283 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:51,025 I want to own my own kennel, like, one day. 284 00:10:51,108 --> 00:10:52,777 Just have a buttload of dogs. 285 00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:54,236 So many dogs that the local kids go, 286 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:57,740 "Oh, look, there's that stinky old dog lady! Get her!" 287 00:10:57,823 --> 00:10:59,617 (LAUGHS) I'd love that. 288 00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:01,243 How did I get dumped at the Judas end 289 00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:02,536 of The Last Supper, huh? 290 00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:08,292 Uh, hey, Ryan. Hey, Ryan. Hey, Ryan. Hey! 291 00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:12,421 So, what are you guys talking about down there? 292 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,048 RYAN: We're talking about dogs. 293 00:11:14,131 --> 00:11:15,883 -Dog, doggos. -(CHUCKLES) 294 00:11:15,966 --> 00:11:21,722 You know, uh, when you see dogs running in their dreams... 295 00:11:22,681 --> 00:11:24,725 they're not, they're drumming. 296 00:11:25,976 --> 00:11:26,977 I read that. 297 00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:34,110 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 298 00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:37,154 NATHAN BASIC: So, anyway, you add just like a soupcon 299 00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:38,447 of polyvinyl rubbing alcohol 300 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,866 just... just to give it a nuttier finish. 301 00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:42,785 We should do a show on the ship. 302 00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:45,079 Trade recipes. What do you think, dumpling? 303 00:11:45,162 --> 00:11:46,372 Have we met before? 304 00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:49,041 Uh, no, I don't think so. Um, Nathan Basic. 305 00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:51,293 I've... I've got an aggressively generic face. 306 00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:52,920 I promise I'll bring him back in one piece. 307 00:11:53,003 --> 00:11:56,715 Oh, sure, be his guest. Like I was. 308 00:11:56,799 --> 00:12:00,678 Oh, Frank's leaving. Hey, Frank, mind if I get in on that action? 309 00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:02,721 IRIS: So, I'm leaving on the shuttle. 310 00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:07,101 Yeah, I am confirming it. This is me confirming it. 311 00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:08,978 What's your name? Do you want to be confirmed? 312 00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:11,230 Because I will fucking confirm you. 313 00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:13,649 Thank you. Have a nice life, Shelly. 314 00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:15,609 Let's go. 315 00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:18,529 -Actually, it's automatic. -Just hit go. 316 00:12:18,612 --> 00:12:20,364 Okay, it's a little more complex than that. 317 00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:25,202 Go. 318 00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:29,290 (ENGINE RUMBLING) 319 00:12:29,373 --> 00:12:30,958 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 320 00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:34,503 Smooth jazz. Rough coffee. Fieldstrip a macerator pump. 321 00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:36,839 Perfect Sunday. Let me top you up. 322 00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:41,594 This guy, seriously. He's so wise. 323 00:12:41,677 --> 00:12:43,012 Buddy, is this true love? 324 00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:44,763 Have you finally found your hair-mate? 325 00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:47,641 I've found my people. Listen, brace yourself, 326 00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:48,809 I'm leaving Avenue 5. 327 00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:53,147 Sure. Um, can you hand me the wine? Mm-hmm. 328 00:12:53,230 --> 00:12:56,817 -Thanks. -Dumpling, how's your reflux? 329 00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:58,861 He tends to bloat after evening meals. 330 00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:03,073 I do n... Karen, my enzymes are none of your business. 331 00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:05,159 Sometimes, I just wanna put him across my knee 332 00:13:05,242 --> 00:13:06,994 and burp him like a baby. (CHUCKLES) 333 00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:08,078 Oh, Christ. 334 00:13:08,662 --> 00:13:10,539 Um, listen... 335 00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:13,000 you may have noticed a certain crackle in the air 336 00:13:13,083 --> 00:13:14,251 between me and the captain? 337 00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:16,295 Oh, no, no, I haven't noticed anything. 338 00:13:16,378 --> 00:13:18,797 No, you have. It's been overpowering 339 00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:21,217 and it's ruined the whole evening. 340 00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:23,010 I literally haven't noticed anything. 341 00:13:23,093 --> 00:13:25,137 I'd like to respectfully disagree. 342 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:26,055 Okay. 343 00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:27,640 MATT: Paula, can I just tell you, 344 00:13:27,723 --> 00:13:29,892 I really admire your stoicism. 345 00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:32,144 'Cause you guys are all stoic as fuck. 346 00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:34,730 -(PAULA CHUCKLES) -Like-- like the, uh, moccasins thing. 347 00:13:34,813 --> 00:13:35,981 The way you all go along with it. 348 00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:39,193 Oh, we're all very happy to oblige. 349 00:13:39,276 --> 00:13:41,737 -Uh, Rav, would you like to... -RAV: Um... 350 00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:43,364 Yeah, I mean, it... (CLEARS THROAT) ...makes sense 351 00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:45,491 with, uh, you know, cutting down the... (GASPS) 352 00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:46,784 ...wear and tear of carpets. 353 00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:48,536 Uh, no, no, I don't even think it's really about the... 354 00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:49,787 the... the carpeting, right? 355 00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:52,039 Johanna bangs these plates together, 356 00:13:52,122 --> 00:13:55,167 everyone takes their shoes off. It's, like, uh, Pavlovian. 357 00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:56,919 (CHUCKLES) Let's keep it light, Matt. 358 00:13:57,002 --> 00:13:58,170 This is a chat, not a show trial. 359 00:13:58,254 --> 00:14:00,631 Are-- are you saying this isn't about the carpets? 360 00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:03,592 That it's, what, some coercive control thing? 361 00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:06,178 -Yeah. -(BOWL CLANGING) 362 00:14:06,887 --> 00:14:08,097 Shall we bring out 363 00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:10,683 the thermophilic cheese cultures? 364 00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:13,269 Hear that, enzymes? Red alert. Here it comes. 365 00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:14,270 (LAUGHTER) 366 00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:15,646 -(CAMERA BEEPS) -Yes. Okay. 367 00:14:15,729 --> 00:14:16,897 Come, come, come. Come on. 368 00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:19,400 Now, we're recording for primetime tonight. 369 00:14:19,483 --> 00:14:21,151 It's not late night, so please don't curse 370 00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:22,861 or handle the meat at waist level. 371 00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:24,738 This is a great cabin, by the way. 372 00:14:24,822 --> 00:14:26,073 So much better than my hovel. 373 00:14:26,156 --> 00:14:28,742 Yeah, we based the design on a dream that I had 374 00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:30,828 -when I was a-- -Okay, and we're rolling. 375 00:14:30,911 --> 00:14:31,954 On today's edition, 376 00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:34,748 we have a very special guest, Mr. Nathan Basic. 377 00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:36,292 There's the camera, Nathan. Yep. 378 00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,210 And we are going to be making venison 379 00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:42,131 in... a travel kettle. 380 00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:43,632 JUDD: What a great recipe. 381 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,427 Does Nathan Basic look familiar to you? 382 00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:47,386 Who? 383 00:14:47,469 --> 00:14:49,179 KAREN KELLY: It's saying "classified." 384 00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:50,264 Ooh, I love a mystery. 385 00:14:50,347 --> 00:14:51,390 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 386 00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:53,142 Have you tried, uh, putting in the passcode? 387 00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:54,643 No. 388 00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:57,646 So, can you tell me about the real Captain Ryan? 389 00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,565 KAREN: He's not so much a person 390 00:14:59,648 --> 00:15:02,192 as a puzzle you have to crack. 391 00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:04,528 He is as playful as a seal. 392 00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:06,447 (WHISPERING) Shit me a houseboat. 393 00:15:06,530 --> 00:15:10,659 So, Nathan, what is your basic approach to food? 394 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:11,785 JUDD: Ha ha, good one! 395 00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:13,912 Well, I like to use the whole carcass, Frank. 396 00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:14,997 You know, nose to toes. 397 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,957 I mean, why... why waste all that good flesh? 398 00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:18,125 JUDD: Totally agree with that. 399 00:15:18,208 --> 00:15:21,128 If a chicken dies of a stroke, do you toss it away? 400 00:15:21,211 --> 00:15:23,422 No, you don't. You stuff it and you roast it. 401 00:15:23,505 --> 00:15:25,716 So why do we treat our family any differently? 402 00:15:25,799 --> 00:15:27,926 Totally agree. Wait, what? 403 00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:31,639 (LAUGHS) Are we talking about people here? 404 00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:33,349 Well, it's a difficult conversation. 405 00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:35,768 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪ 406 00:15:35,851 --> 00:15:37,686 I've been thinking, and I'd like to try 407 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,272 wearing my outdoor shoes in the mess hall. 408 00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:43,734 Sure. Where's this coming from, please? 409 00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:45,736 Uh... Ryan, quick update. 410 00:15:45,819 --> 00:15:49,448 This is a space prison. Repeat, a space prison. 411 00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:53,952 -What? What is-- What? What? -It's black ops. 412 00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:55,663 These are people considered too dangerous 413 00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:56,997 to be housed on Earth. 414 00:15:57,998 --> 00:15:59,708 What? Are you sure? 415 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,502 They have a selection of cheeses. 416 00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:03,462 Mm-hmm. 417 00:16:04,588 --> 00:16:06,048 Listen to me. We've been over this 418 00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:07,216 a thousand fucking times, Paula. 419 00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:10,177 It is a low-density pile, so sit down and shut up. 420 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:16,517 ♪ (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 421 00:16:18,185 --> 00:16:19,812 (KNIFE SCRAPES) 422 00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:23,524 (LOUD SNAP) 423 00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:25,401 -RAV: Oh... -Oh, God. 424 00:16:26,735 --> 00:16:29,363 RAV: (WHISPERING) Ryan. Ryan. 425 00:16:29,446 --> 00:16:31,573 -Ryan! -Sorry, I'm just internalizing 426 00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,158 a lot of panic and fear right now. 427 00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:34,410 (BREATHES SHAKILY) Yeah. 428 00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:37,788 But now I've done that, and I'm back in the room. 429 00:16:37,871 --> 00:16:39,415 Okay. Good. Read. 430 00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:41,709 "Octuple homicide, 431 00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:43,210 -with an ice cream scoop." -(CHUCKLES) 432 00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:47,756 "Wore his mother's wedding dress and her head." 433 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:48,924 Yep, yep, yep. 434 00:16:49,007 --> 00:16:52,886 "Buried them under the funfair." "Stole their feet." 435 00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:55,264 Swipe, there's photos. Photos. 436 00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:56,765 -Oh! -Hmm. 437 00:16:58,016 --> 00:17:00,811 (EXHALES SHARPLY) My eyes have just shat themselves. 438 00:17:03,063 --> 00:17:04,189 Oh, boy. 439 00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:06,567 Well, I-- I think I might, uh... 440 00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:08,360 wear some of those moccasins after all. 441 00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:11,238 Good idea. I will cover for you. 442 00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:15,576 So... (INHALES SHARPLY) 443 00:17:15,659 --> 00:17:17,411 -Uh, Karen. -RAV: Guys. 444 00:17:17,494 --> 00:17:20,289 -Excuse me. -RYAN: (WHISPERING) Guys. 445 00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:23,792 (CHUCKLES) Listen, I'm gonna tell you something now, 446 00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,961 and it's very important that they don't know 447 00:17:26,044 --> 00:17:28,297 what it is that I'm telling you. All right, so... 448 00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:29,798 so when I wink... 449 00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,383 -(CHUCKLES) -(CHUCKLES) 450 00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:34,136 ...I need you to laugh, understood? 451 00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:37,181 -Mm-hmm. -I've just been informed 452 00:17:37,264 --> 00:17:39,600 that we are-- get-- get ready to laugh-- 453 00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:42,269 surrounded by-- ready to laugh-- 454 00:17:43,562 --> 00:17:46,398 dozens of convicted psychopaths. 455 00:17:50,944 --> 00:17:54,198 Wait, what? I don't get it. Was that a joke or... 456 00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:56,241 No, that's-- No. 457 00:17:57,242 --> 00:17:58,952 Uh, you're supposed to laugh 458 00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:01,663 so they don't know what I've just told you. 459 00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:03,123 The guy that Frank just left with 460 00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:06,627 is the Denver Cannibal. He ate 19 people. 461 00:18:06,710 --> 00:18:09,797 They found 36 thumbs in his basement. 462 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:13,091 Oh, my God, Frank is petrified of cannibals. 463 00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,843 -That's 38. -RAV: What? 464 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,762 -RYAN: What? -Nineteen people, 465 00:18:16,845 --> 00:18:18,388 that'd be 38 thumbs. You said 36. 466 00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:20,766 I don't know! I can't do the fucking thumb arithmetic. 467 00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:22,476 Well, he might've used the last two 468 00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:24,269 as, uh, like wine stoppers. 469 00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:27,981 Okay, Sally, that nice lady over there. 470 00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:31,443 No, don't look. She bludgeoned her mother to death 471 00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:34,613 -with her father. -She bludgeoned a parent 472 00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:36,532 -with another parent? -RAV: Yes, yes. 473 00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:39,576 Okay, well, at least they died in each other's arms. 474 00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:41,620 And who are we to condemn the butterfly 475 00:18:41,703 --> 00:18:43,664 for the crimes of the caterpillar? 476 00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:47,459 Uh, Johanna killed and raped her nine beagles. 477 00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:49,670 -(GASPS) -Okay, fuck that. 478 00:18:49,753 --> 00:18:50,838 We need to leave. 479 00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:53,590 Hold on, because she told me she groomed them. 480 00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:55,175 Extraction plan. 481 00:18:57,135 --> 00:18:59,847 Shoes on and then very slowly 482 00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,223 move towards the door 483 00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:03,559 without aggravating the psychopaths. 484 00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:07,646 -(CHUCKLES) Okay, good. -(ALL CHUCKLE) 485 00:19:07,729 --> 00:19:09,439 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 486 00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:11,859 (ALL CHUCKLING) 487 00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:15,362 -RYAN: (CHUCKLING) Right? Right? -MATT: (CHUCKLES) Yeah. 488 00:19:15,445 --> 00:19:17,155 You should see the commode. 489 00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:19,825 Got more bells and whistles than a fairground. 490 00:19:19,908 --> 00:19:22,119 Spike, the ship is full of murderers. 491 00:19:22,202 --> 00:19:24,413 -We're fucking off. -You mean Lyle? 492 00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:26,957 -Lyle's not a murderer. -What-- So I chose a good one? 493 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:29,376 He's a pedophile. 494 00:19:29,459 --> 00:19:32,838 (GROANS) I... I... I need to bathe in bleach. 495 00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:35,299 Shit, they've taken our shoes so we can't get away. 496 00:19:35,382 --> 00:19:38,176 I can't get the image of those little doggies out of my mind. 497 00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:39,761 And there she is, standing over them 498 00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:41,096 with lubricant and a brick. 499 00:19:41,179 --> 00:19:42,431 Billie, Billie, shoes, shoes, come on. 500 00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:43,765 JOHANNA: Going somewhere, Captain? 501 00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:46,768 We were just stoning some plums. 502 00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:48,353 Oh, that sounds... 503 00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:50,898 That's-- Uh, yes. 504 00:19:50,981 --> 00:19:52,524 But I need to use the bathroom 505 00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:54,860 and it's-- it's better if I use my own. 506 00:19:54,943 --> 00:19:56,820 -He's very regular. -RYAN: That's-- You see? 507 00:19:56,904 --> 00:20:00,032 -I can honestly set my watch. -All right, Karen. Just-- 508 00:20:00,115 --> 00:20:04,077 Thank you. So, if we could have our shoes... 509 00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:06,413 Uh, mine are the old fashioned running shoes 510 00:20:06,496 --> 00:20:07,539 for sentimental value. 511 00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,666 -Sentimental value. (CHUCKLES) -RYAN: What? 512 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,752 -You're just rude. -(RAV GASPING) 513 00:20:11,835 --> 00:20:13,295 You're a very, very rude man. 514 00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:16,465 -MATT: Oh, boy. -Ooh, I don't think we're getting our shoes back. 515 00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:18,008 Mine were quite expensive. 516 00:20:21,511 --> 00:20:24,097 Uh, don't run but... run. 517 00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:29,061 -♪ (FRANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(ALL CLAMORING) 518 00:20:29,144 --> 00:20:30,812 RYAN: Enjoy the flapjack! 519 00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:35,525 (ALL CLAMORING) 520 00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:37,444 You want to be careful to avoid fusing 521 00:20:37,527 --> 00:20:39,446 the venison with the element. 522 00:20:39,529 --> 00:20:42,324 Or take cremation. We already cook people. 523 00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:43,909 Yet what do we do with that meal? 524 00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:46,620 -We throw it in the bin. -I mean, I guess I can see 525 00:20:46,703 --> 00:20:48,413 how you might end up eating a corpse. 526 00:20:48,497 --> 00:20:51,458 KAREN: (OVER EARPIECE) Frank, sorry to interrupt your camera bit. 527 00:20:51,541 --> 00:20:54,336 The guy on your show is the Denver Cannibal. 528 00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:55,712 -Right... -KAREN: He killed and ate 529 00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:59,383 a butt ton of people. Blink twice if you understand. 530 00:21:01,259 --> 00:21:03,136 KAREN: That was three times, but no judgement. 531 00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:06,848 Ah, look at that. Ah. Corpses. Yes. 532 00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:10,310 And so we just pop it in. Turn the kettle on. Bang! 533 00:21:10,394 --> 00:21:13,021 Venison à la kettle. Butt ton. 534 00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:14,398 Good night, everybody. Thank you. 535 00:21:14,481 --> 00:21:17,859 Uh, please, Mr. Judd, if you could walk our guest out. 536 00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:19,194 -What? -FRANK KELLY: Thank you. 537 00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:22,823 All right. Uh, that door, the only one you can go out. 538 00:21:22,906 --> 00:21:25,283 -Follow all the J's. -I'll... I'll figure it out. 539 00:21:25,367 --> 00:21:26,952 But think about it. You've got a chance to be 540 00:21:27,035 --> 00:21:29,162 on the right side of history here. 541 00:21:29,246 --> 00:21:32,749 Oh, my God. Okay. We-- We have to delete everything 542 00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:35,293 that has to do with that. Everything. 543 00:21:35,377 --> 00:21:38,296 -RAV: Utterly horrible . - BILLIE: Oh, my-- I feel sick. 544 00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:40,799 (SIGHS) They have ruined people for me. 545 00:21:40,882 --> 00:21:43,552 Yeah, let's not do people ever, ever again. 546 00:21:43,635 --> 00:21:46,054 Sure. But all in all, good visit? 547 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:48,598 Lovely location. Shame about the gore-mongers. 548 00:21:48,682 --> 00:21:51,059 But, yeah, zero out of ten, could not recommend. 549 00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:52,769 BILLIE: Unless, guys, 550 00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:55,522 I mean, the eel tank still needs to be fixed 551 00:21:55,605 --> 00:21:57,107 and there is Spike's friend... 552 00:21:57,190 --> 00:21:59,401 If anything, he was a friend of a friend. 553 00:21:59,484 --> 00:22:01,111 Billie, are you suggesting 554 00:22:01,194 --> 00:22:03,530 that we allow a pedophile on board ship 555 00:22:03,613 --> 00:22:05,282 -to fix our eel tank? -No! 556 00:22:05,365 --> 00:22:07,075 That, of course, is madness. 557 00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:08,827 -Brackets, is it, though? -Yes. 558 00:22:08,910 --> 00:22:11,079 Brackets, fuck yes. 559 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:13,498 Okay, I'm sorry to always be the corporate stiff, 560 00:22:13,582 --> 00:22:15,667 but I cannot allow a sexual predator 561 00:22:15,751 --> 00:22:17,753 to roam free among vacationing families. 562 00:22:17,836 --> 00:22:19,963 I'm a libertarian, but there's a line. 563 00:22:20,047 --> 00:22:22,883 Okay, so we don't let them roam freely. 564 00:22:22,966 --> 00:22:25,260 We engineer like a hamster run 565 00:22:25,343 --> 00:22:28,305 from the airlock, directly to the eel tank. 566 00:22:28,388 --> 00:22:31,850 What if the predator punctures this hamster run? 567 00:22:31,933 --> 00:22:34,603 You know, he could have a blade concealed in his mud pipe. 568 00:22:34,686 --> 00:22:36,855 -Then we're leaking pedo. -FRANK: Very good point. 569 00:22:37,814 --> 00:22:38,857 A ball! 570 00:22:40,901 --> 00:22:42,402 A ball! 571 00:22:42,486 --> 00:22:47,115 We put the sexual predator inside of an inflatable ball. 572 00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:50,077 And then put the ball inside the tube. 573 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:51,244 Now you're crushing it. 574 00:22:51,328 --> 00:22:53,830 A pipe and a ball! You're essentially creating 575 00:22:53,914 --> 00:22:55,749 a theme park attraction for a pervert. 576 00:22:55,832 --> 00:22:58,293 Okay, look, we all have qualms about this, 577 00:22:58,376 --> 00:23:01,379 but we can't eat qualms. We need the eels. 578 00:23:01,463 --> 00:23:05,050 Great! Death or pedo? Sounds like fun. 579 00:23:06,134 --> 00:23:07,260 (RADIO BEEPS) 580 00:23:07,344 --> 00:23:09,137 RYAN: Obviously, I do not want this on my record, 581 00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:11,139 but release the pedophile. 582 00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:14,643 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 583 00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:18,480 -Hamster's on the move. -RYAN: Copy that. 584 00:23:39,584 --> 00:23:43,338 All right, Mads, unzip the nonce-o-sphere. 585 00:23:43,421 --> 00:23:44,965 JUDD: I mean, I imagined it would be bigger 586 00:23:45,048 --> 00:23:46,174 and filled with straw 587 00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:48,301 and I would've put him on a leash, but it's good. 588 00:23:48,927 --> 00:23:50,011 LYLE: Thank you. 589 00:23:50,095 --> 00:23:51,847 I have done what a judge would not, 590 00:23:51,930 --> 00:23:53,014 I freed the pedo. 591 00:23:53,098 --> 00:23:55,392 All right, sir. We want you to commence 592 00:23:55,475 --> 00:23:56,852 mending the eel tanks. 593 00:23:56,935 --> 00:23:59,521 We're gonna stand back here offering encouraging comments 594 00:23:59,604 --> 00:24:01,648 without in any way condoning your prior actions. 595 00:24:01,731 --> 00:24:02,941 LYLE: I'm done with judging. 596 00:24:04,401 --> 00:24:06,945 MATT: Vacationing families, atmosphere of dread, 597 00:24:07,028 --> 00:24:10,991 predator with good teeth. It's like psychosexual Jaws. 598 00:24:11,074 --> 00:24:12,993 We'll laugh about this one day, 599 00:24:13,076 --> 00:24:16,121 as we're being led away to our deaths by lethal injection. 600 00:24:16,204 --> 00:24:17,998 Can I just say, I find this whole thing 601 00:24:18,081 --> 00:24:19,499 morally revolting. 602 00:24:20,250 --> 00:24:21,668 And yet you brought snacks. 603 00:24:21,751 --> 00:24:23,879 -(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES) -(RAV GASPS) 604 00:24:23,962 --> 00:24:25,547 Can I get a glass of water, please? 605 00:24:25,630 --> 00:24:27,215 The nonce is requesting liquids. 606 00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:30,427 No! We should not be hydrating a fiddle-man. 607 00:24:30,510 --> 00:24:32,762 Shall I tell him to drink his own tainted piss? 608 00:24:32,846 --> 00:24:34,306 JUDD: I guess we can get him room service, 609 00:24:34,389 --> 00:24:36,057 but he's gonna have to pay. 610 00:24:36,141 --> 00:24:37,475 -(COMPUTER PINGS) -BILLIE: Oh, my gosh. 611 00:24:37,559 --> 00:24:39,561 -(WATER GURGLES) -We're back online. He did it. 612 00:24:39,644 --> 00:24:42,522 (CHEERING) 613 00:24:42,606 --> 00:24:44,816 (SINGING) ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪ 614 00:24:44,900 --> 00:24:49,529 No, no, no, no. No! He-- No. He actually isn't. 615 00:24:49,613 --> 00:24:51,031 -Sorry. -Thank you, sir. 616 00:24:51,114 --> 00:24:52,741 -A qualified thanks. -BILLIE: Mm-hmm. 617 00:24:52,824 --> 00:24:54,576 Now, back in your ball. 618 00:24:54,659 --> 00:24:56,912 You said I could come live with you if I fixed the tank. 619 00:24:56,995 --> 00:24:59,039 Come on, that was obviously a lie. 620 00:24:59,122 --> 00:25:01,666 -You promised. -Promises are for suckers. 621 00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:03,210 -Sucker! -LYLE: Okay, then, 622 00:25:03,293 --> 00:25:05,003 how about you suck on this? 623 00:25:05,086 --> 00:25:07,255 -(ALL SHOUTING) -RYAN: Oh, no, no, no. Listen! 624 00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:09,216 -Lyle! -Lyle, Lyle! Lyle! Lyle! 625 00:25:09,299 --> 00:25:12,636 We can definitely come to some sort-- 626 00:25:12,719 --> 00:25:14,387 Oh, look, your water. 627 00:25:14,471 --> 00:25:15,805 -(SCREAMS) -(LYLE GRUNTING) 628 00:25:15,889 --> 00:25:17,265 All the way. All the way. All the way. 629 00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:18,975 JUDD: That's why you gotta put him on a leash! 630 00:25:19,059 --> 00:25:20,101 RYAN: Zip him up. Zip him up. 631 00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:22,103 BILLIE: Get the pump! Get the pump! 632 00:25:22,187 --> 00:25:23,897 -I have it. -(INDISTINCT CLAMOR) 633 00:25:23,980 --> 00:25:26,399 -Mads! Inflate the deviant. -LYLE: Ow! Ow! 634 00:25:26,483 --> 00:25:30,695 Thank you for your service, we'll remember you complexly. 635 00:25:30,779 --> 00:25:33,990 -It's okay, dumpling, I'm right here. It's okay. -LYLE: I don't wanna go back! 636 00:25:34,074 --> 00:25:35,075 MADS: Strangle him! 637 00:25:35,158 --> 00:25:36,868 BILLIE: Where's the leg? Where's the thumb? 638 00:25:36,952 --> 00:25:39,412 -(LYLE SCREAMING) -Okay, get him out of here. 639 00:25:39,496 --> 00:25:41,831 -SPIKE: Go on, get out of here. -BILLIE: Get out of here. 640 00:25:41,915 --> 00:25:44,751 (LYLE SCREAMING, SOBBING) 641 00:25:44,834 --> 00:25:47,128 -I'll be good! -BILLIE: Come on, Mads! 642 00:25:47,212 --> 00:25:49,256 -(LYLE SCREAMING) -MADS: It looks so funny. 643 00:25:49,339 --> 00:25:52,050 -(LYLE GROANING) -Try to get the hammer in his head! 644 00:25:52,133 --> 00:25:54,970 -BILLIE: It's time to go. -MADS: Ow! You motherfucking kicked me. 645 00:25:55,053 --> 00:25:57,097 KAREN: Come on, let him have it. Let him have it. 646 00:25:57,180 --> 00:26:01,351 -(MUFFLED SHOUTING) -LYLE: (GROANS) God, stop! 647 00:26:01,434 --> 00:26:04,145 JUDD: I did this! This was my idea. 648 00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:06,147 (ALL CLAMOR) 649 00:26:06,231 --> 00:26:07,274 I hope you get eaten! 650 00:26:07,357 --> 00:26:09,109 BILLIE: Thank you for fixing the tank. 651 00:26:09,192 --> 00:26:11,486 Captain, please, if I can just explain. 652 00:26:11,569 --> 00:26:14,489 (SCREAMING) Hey, Johanna! Fuck you! 653 00:26:14,572 --> 00:26:17,617 -And fuck your moccasins! -(CROWD CHEERING) 654 00:26:17,701 --> 00:26:21,079 I'm a good person. I can love. Don't forget your baking tray. 655 00:26:21,955 --> 00:26:23,206 -(ALL SHOUTING) -PAULA: Fuck you! 656 00:26:23,290 --> 00:26:25,417 It's good that you're talking this out. 657 00:26:28,378 --> 00:26:29,337 Wow. 658 00:26:29,421 --> 00:26:31,256 Boy, I'd hate to be a fly on that wall. 659 00:26:32,257 --> 00:26:38,138 ♪ (UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 660 00:26:39,472 --> 00:26:41,683 The only man capable of fixing the eel tank 661 00:26:41,766 --> 00:26:43,435 is carrying a dangerous disease. 662 00:26:43,518 --> 00:26:46,354 Okay, so we use the pipe to get him from the airlock. 663 00:26:46,438 --> 00:26:48,648 -And what if he escapes? -TV SARAH: Hang on! 664 00:26:48,732 --> 00:26:50,483 Wait for it. 665 00:26:50,567 --> 00:26:53,611 What if we put him inside a big plastic ball? 666 00:26:54,988 --> 00:26:56,323 I totally agree. 667 00:26:56,865 --> 00:26:59,159 Fuck, yeah! 668 00:26:59,242 --> 00:27:02,620 -Hologram tech, baby. -This is a game changer. 669 00:27:02,704 --> 00:27:04,873 Seriously, I don't even recognize the game. 670 00:27:04,956 --> 00:27:07,083 (SIGHS) Decisions! 671 00:27:07,167 --> 00:27:09,044 God, it feels good to finally get one right. 672 00:27:09,127 --> 00:27:12,714 Ryan, the ship's smart sensor is showing we have a stowaway. 673 00:27:12,797 --> 00:27:15,050 -A what? -Frank's cannibal 674 00:27:15,133 --> 00:27:16,509 is still on board. 675 00:27:16,593 --> 00:27:19,346 Oh, take me to hell and toast my tits. 676 00:27:19,429 --> 00:27:21,014 Now, this is a teachable moment. 677 00:27:21,097 --> 00:27:22,265 You were so focused on the pedo, 678 00:27:22,349 --> 00:27:24,142 you forgot all about the cannibal. 679 00:27:24,225 --> 00:27:26,102 Tale as old as time. 680 00:27:26,186 --> 00:27:28,563 So, I bring tools for the eel tank. 681 00:27:29,189 --> 00:27:30,231 (TOOLBOX THUDS) 682 00:27:30,315 --> 00:27:31,858 What I miss? 683 00:27:31,941 --> 00:27:38,531 ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 684 00:28:31,084 --> 00:28:33,837 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪