1 00:00:06,005 --> 00:00:11,678 ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 2 00:00:13,179 --> 00:00:16,266 Uh, and you have coffee with the ship's imam at 10. 3 00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:18,601 Then the cleaning crew want to gift you 4 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,979 -with some new pillows. -RYAN CLARK: Excellent. 5 00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:24,023 My memory foam ones have developed dementia. 6 00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:27,360 Uh, then the Avenue 5 Brass Band want to play for you, 7 00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:30,947 -and then gift you a tuba. -Can we un-gift it? 8 00:00:31,030 --> 00:00:33,742 -Fly safe. -Fly true, Supreme Commander! 9 00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:38,037 Yes. Heil me. Supreme Commander. What if I get used to this? 10 00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:39,706 Respectfully, you should. 11 00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:41,916 Striding about like a Dutch hairdresser 12 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,127 -who killed someone once. -RAV MULCAIR: Um, at noon, 13 00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:46,504 could you officially open the ship's Cuddle Club? 14 00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:48,298 -Cuddle Club? -Mm, yeah, a group of passengers 15 00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:50,133 have put it together as some sort of group therapy. 16 00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:51,676 -RYAN: Sit down. -It's totally non-sexual. 17 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,052 And totally non-normal. 18 00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:54,262 For goodness' sake. 19 00:00:54,345 --> 00:00:56,556 What's wrong with a good old-fashioned frosty handshake? 20 00:00:56,639 --> 00:00:59,809 Look at Iris suffocating him like a horny praying mantis. 21 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:01,811 BILLIE MCEVOY: Yeah, Ryan could do a shit right now 22 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,313 and all these passengers would line up 23 00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:05,857 -to take a selfie with it. -And at one o'clock, 24 00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:07,692 you're meeting with Theater Action. 25 00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:09,611 -♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪ -Can we un-action that? 26 00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:11,321 Actually, un-theater it, preferably. 27 00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:13,531 -Fuck you, Supreme Commander. -Fly true, Supreme Commander. 28 00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:15,909 How did we end up with him in charge twice? 29 00:01:15,992 --> 00:01:16,951 Tell me about it. 30 00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:19,204 BILLIE: He is not worthy of your ship. 31 00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:23,458 I don't know why, but I find you very interesting right now. 32 00:01:23,541 --> 00:01:25,794 -Hmm. -You speak from the heart. 33 00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:31,132 (RAV CLEARS THROAT) 34 00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:32,967 I hate to be the bearer of bad news. 35 00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:34,511 And I hate hearing it. 36 00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:36,221 Feels like there's a solution in there somewhere. 37 00:01:36,304 --> 00:01:38,097 -PASSENGER: Commander. -Well, rumors are-- Hi. 38 00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:42,060 (WHISPERS) Rumors are spreading that the water is contaminated. 39 00:01:42,143 --> 00:01:46,231 You see, this is why people should never, ever talk. 40 00:01:46,314 --> 00:01:49,150 RAV: Mm, agreed, but conversation is inevitable. 41 00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:51,778 Which is why I'd like to install some operatives. 42 00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:54,656 What do you mean, operatives? You mean secret police? 43 00:01:54,739 --> 00:01:56,533 I hesitate to use the term "secret police." 44 00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:58,535 Well, you didn't hesitate very long. 45 00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:00,537 -Matt is-- -Highly problematic. 46 00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:03,790 No, no. We are not having secret police. 47 00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:05,291 That is my final decision. 48 00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:08,169 Decree. But fine, I won't appoint any. 49 00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:10,213 You say that, Iris, but will you? 50 00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:12,006 MATT SPENCER: Soon we'll be at each other's throats. 51 00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:13,383 -Do you want that? -FOLLOWERS: No! 52 00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:15,385 -♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -When brother fights brother 53 00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:18,972 for the moisture that he's wrung from a hand towel, 54 00:02:19,055 --> 00:02:21,099 will Lyin' Ryan be there to save you? 55 00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:22,934 -FOLLOWERS: No! -MATT: No, he won't, 56 00:02:23,017 --> 00:02:25,562 but we'll be there, because we've got ammo. 57 00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:26,729 (FOLLOWERS MUTTER) 58 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,106 -We've got camo. -FOLLOWERS: Yes! 59 00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:30,191 -We are ready to go... -FOLLOWERS: Blammo! 60 00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:33,736 -Blammo! -(FOLLOWERS YELLING) 61 00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:36,531 Oh, what is this intoxicating clarity? 62 00:02:36,614 --> 00:02:39,033 -(YELLING) Yeah! -(FOLLOWERS CHEER) 63 00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:44,289 ♪ ("AVENUE 5" THEME MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 64 00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:51,754 Seeing some sweet cuddles out there, guys. 65 00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,715 Really nice. 66 00:02:53,798 --> 00:02:56,885 Some nice swaying cuddles. Comforting. 67 00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:58,094 Tap your cuddler's head 68 00:02:58,177 --> 00:03:00,555 if you want your cuddle to end early. 69 00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:04,934 Otherwise, just surrender 70 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,437 like a calf in the butcher's embrace. 71 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:10,565 (BELL RINGS) 72 00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:12,692 All right, there's time to chug a few more hugs 73 00:03:12,775 --> 00:03:14,277 before our Supreme Commander gets here 74 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,863 and declares our spoon room open. 75 00:03:16,946 --> 00:03:18,406 KAREN KELLY: Will he be cuddling? 76 00:03:18,489 --> 00:03:20,658 -DOUG: If he consents. -Oh, please. 77 00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:22,535 If he's here, he's asking for it. 78 00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:25,371 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 79 00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:26,664 All good out there? 80 00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:28,583 I mean, considering how bad it is? 81 00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:31,252 RAV: Let's just say the mood on the ship is uh, 82 00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:34,297 pre-post-apocalyptic. What-- what is that dot? 83 00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:36,299 Oh, God, you saw it, too, huh? 84 00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:37,675 (SIGHS) I get these floaters. 85 00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:39,010 -(KEYBOARD CLACKING) -(COMPUTER BEEPS) 86 00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:42,138 Oh, hold the phone, that's not macular degeneration. 87 00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:45,308 That's a meteor. 88 00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:47,810 A compass, but instead of telling you 89 00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:49,604 where you are, it tells you when you are. 90 00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:53,316 -So-- so, like a clock? -No, way better. 91 00:03:53,399 --> 00:03:55,568 -Way better than a clock. -Yeah. 92 00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:57,820 That is just genius. 93 00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:01,324 So-- so, were you thinking about talking to Lucas yet? 94 00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:03,993 You know, get the rescue back on track? 95 00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:07,705 Artificially made twins to serve unwanted jail time. 96 00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:09,958 Smart. You know, 97 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:12,919 it's just if you did want some help with Lucas, 98 00:04:13,002 --> 00:04:15,463 then I could set a time and date for the meeting, 99 00:04:15,546 --> 00:04:18,132 or even if you wanted, I could help lead the meeting. 100 00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:20,677 Oh, that's so sweet, but fuck no. 101 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:23,346 Only top CEOs can negotiate government policy. 102 00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:24,681 That's just how democracy works. 103 00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:28,184 And I'm a top CEO, so... (SLURPS) ...suck it, Ryan. 104 00:04:28,267 --> 00:04:29,852 BILLIE: Yeah, suck it, Ryan. 105 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,646 RYAN: I believe we booked this room. 106 00:04:31,729 --> 00:04:33,856 -Hey, Ryan. -We've commandeered it. 107 00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:34,983 Commandeered. Exactly. 108 00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:36,651 You're in breach of protocol. Stand. 109 00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:37,694 -BILLIE: Oh. -Sit. 110 00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:40,154 Stand and leave, or face the consequences. 111 00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:43,032 I'm gonna leave 'cause I was planning on leaving anyway. 112 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,367 But I'm not gonna stand. 113 00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:46,953 Excited to see this process. 114 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,084 -(GRUNTS) -(CHAIR THUDS) 115 00:04:53,167 --> 00:04:54,794 -(LAUGHS, SQUEALS) -HERMAN JUDD: Oh, thank fuck. 116 00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:57,171 Rav saves the day. 117 00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:58,715 Rav is speaking in the third person 118 00:04:58,798 --> 00:04:59,882 because she is modest, 119 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,468 and because she has also discovered a meteor 120 00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:03,886 full of lithium. 121 00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,888 I'm gonna stand now, only because I want to see what's on there. 122 00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:07,557 Billie, understand that for me, will you? 123 00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:11,394 Eighty-five percent lithium ore? 124 00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:13,896 But this is like pure heroin lithium. 125 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:17,150 -Heroin's good, right? -Earth is gagging for lithium. 126 00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:19,819 We can get them to reprioritize a rescue. 127 00:05:19,902 --> 00:05:22,363 So, we just need to start negotiating with Lucas. 128 00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:24,991 No, that's incorrect. Only CEOs can negotiate 129 00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:27,201 with TOTOPOTUS. You, however, 130 00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:29,871 are authorized to, um... (SLURPS) 131 00:05:29,954 --> 00:05:31,831 -...suck it. -BILLIE: Yeah! 132 00:05:31,914 --> 00:05:35,043 CEOs only, Captain Cockrag. 133 00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:36,586 Wow. 134 00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:39,005 Right, I-- Yes, I'm gonna need to clear the room, 135 00:05:39,088 --> 00:05:42,216 so that I can berate Billie for gross insubordination. 136 00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:44,761 -Good. A larynx is a privilege. -JUDD: I'm gonna leave 137 00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:47,096 because I choose to clear the room. 138 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,766 Not because you literally just said the words. 139 00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:52,977 (DOOR SLIDING OPEN) 140 00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:55,104 Yeah, well, what do you want? 141 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:56,522 What do you mean, what do I want? 142 00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:57,732 What do you want? 143 00:05:57,815 --> 00:06:00,443 Billie, we agreed, you insult me, I clear the room. 144 00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:03,738 -I'm sorry, I forgot. -What do you mean you forgot? 145 00:06:03,821 --> 00:06:06,949 So where did "Captain Cockrag" come from? Was that heartfelt? 146 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,244 Oh, no-- no. I just-- 147 00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:12,080 You know, I'm not-- I'm not very good at this-- 148 00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:13,748 -Talking? -Improvisation. 149 00:06:13,831 --> 00:06:16,834 You have to be with Judd when he talks to Lucas. 150 00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:18,920 Well, yes, yes, and we'd be getting into that 151 00:06:19,003 --> 00:06:20,797 if you hadn't just sent him out the room. 152 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,090 Well, I did that 153 00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:24,592 because you called me Captain Cockrag. 154 00:06:24,675 --> 00:06:25,802 Well, was I wrong? 155 00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:27,678 I don't know. I don't know what a cockrag is. 156 00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:29,847 Just be there when he talks to Lucas. 157 00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:32,308 BILLIE: Yes, I will be. I have his ear. 158 00:06:32,391 --> 00:06:33,434 RYAN: Fuck his ear. 159 00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:34,644 It's his mouth you need to control. 160 00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:41,442 ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 161 00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:43,653 If Ryan is king, I'm Oliver Cromwell, right? 162 00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:44,612 (FOLLOWERS CHEER) 163 00:06:44,695 --> 00:06:46,405 If he's Gladstone, I'm Disraeli. 164 00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:47,615 (SCATTERED CHEER) 165 00:06:47,698 --> 00:06:50,159 If he's A.S. Byatt, I'm Margaret Drabble! 166 00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,577 Compare things we know! 167 00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:52,912 Eh, never been a big sports fan. 168 00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:54,122 MATT: Well, they're not sports stars. 169 00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:57,208 They're sister novelists who feuded like rappers. 170 00:06:57,291 --> 00:07:00,086 I'm still without a frame of reference. 171 00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:03,714 -Ryan's an asshole, right? -(FOLLOWERS CHEER) 172 00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:06,217 KAREN: Remember, you may pat and caress 173 00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:08,177 all non-erogenous zones. 174 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,888 At this point, my entire body is non-erogenous. 175 00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:12,181 -I can confirm that. -(BELL RINGING) 176 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,851 Okay, cuddlers, find a new cuddlee. 177 00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:17,436 Uh, oh, man, this is Cuddle Club. 178 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:18,980 How many more times? No crossbows. 179 00:07:19,063 --> 00:07:20,648 Doug, we booked this room for combat training. 180 00:07:20,731 --> 00:07:21,899 (DOUG SCOFFS) 181 00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:23,651 Hard cheese, Combat Mary, we've got an extended booking. 182 00:07:23,734 --> 00:07:25,945 Oh, I'll extend your face with my extended arm. 183 00:07:26,028 --> 00:07:27,613 -No, we-- -Ah. 184 00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:28,823 Captain in the hug zone. 185 00:07:28,906 --> 00:07:30,158 (PASSENGERS WHISPERING) 186 00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:31,868 ALL: Fly true, Supreme Commander. 187 00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:32,994 At ease, everyone. 188 00:07:33,077 --> 00:07:35,079 Uh, don't listen to him. More tense, everyone. 189 00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:36,706 Someone needs to go to Manners Club. 190 00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:38,416 Yeah, I-- I went to Manners Club. 191 00:07:38,499 --> 00:07:41,085 That's where I learned, "Please and fuck you." 192 00:07:41,169 --> 00:07:42,461 (QUIET GASPS) 193 00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:45,882 Well, this-- this is wonderful, seeing you all clumped together 194 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,009 -like wet sugar. -(IRIS SCOFFS) 195 00:07:48,092 --> 00:07:52,305 It reminds us that-- that togetherness is way forwardness. 196 00:07:52,388 --> 00:07:53,890 Wise words, Supreme Dipshit. 197 00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:56,684 Matt, will you stop it? This-- this is serious. 198 00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:58,060 This is Cuddle Club. 199 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:01,272 In fact, I think Matt could do with a cuddle, 200 00:08:01,355 --> 00:08:03,691 -don't you think? He should be the first. -(PASSENGERS CHUCKLE) 201 00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:05,651 I hereby declare this club open. 202 00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:10,489 (APPLAUSE) 203 00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:12,533 RYAN: (QUIETLY) If Matt's gonna keep cutting me off 204 00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:14,744 at the ankles, someone needs to do something about him. 205 00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:15,912 DOUG: Okay, everyone. 206 00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:18,206 Continue your therapeutic manhandling. 207 00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:20,374 MATT: Hi. I don't think we've previously cuddled. 208 00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:24,545 Oh, double cuddle. Okay. Triple cuddle. (LAUGHS) Wow. 209 00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:27,048 -♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(MATT WHEEZES) 210 00:08:27,131 --> 00:08:30,259 ♪ (SERENE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 211 00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:34,180 Looking at you, I can smell your pain. 212 00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:36,599 But can you smell my heart? 213 00:08:38,976 --> 00:08:41,270 -♪ (MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY) ♪ -I'm sorry, I'm not feeling this at all. 214 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,438 -(BELL RINGING) -Why? What's wrong? 215 00:08:42,521 --> 00:08:44,148 Well, it's just not erotic, is it? 216 00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:45,608 I mean, can we get him shirtless? 217 00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:48,569 Could somebody unwrap him? Anybody, just unwrap him. 218 00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:50,905 Look, I'm not a piece of meat. 219 00:08:50,988 --> 00:08:53,824 -No, honestly, you are. -For fuck's sake. 220 00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:55,618 And can we get rid of this fucking box? 221 00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:58,037 Keep the box. 222 00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:03,709 ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 223 00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:05,461 -My king. -My queen. 224 00:09:05,544 --> 00:09:07,296 -(ELENA CHUCKLES) -Plus one. 225 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,966 Yes, yes, hadn't forgotten about you, Charles. 226 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,092 What are you, actually? 227 00:09:11,175 --> 00:09:14,720 Uh, partner's partner. So that's... "quartner"? 228 00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:16,472 Anyway, we're all people. 229 00:09:16,555 --> 00:09:17,807 Quite a lot of people, aren't we, 230 00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:19,934 when you think about it. I-- I just wonder if this 231 00:09:20,017 --> 00:09:22,144 whole situation could do with some clarifying. 232 00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:23,562 Captain Ryan. 233 00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:26,691 Sorry to interrupt your ménage, but I thought you should know 234 00:09:26,774 --> 00:09:29,193 Matt has been hurt at Cuddle Club. 235 00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:30,528 How do you get hurt 236 00:09:30,611 --> 00:09:33,155 in a club exclusively devoted to cuddling? 237 00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,782 You told people to deal with him, 238 00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:36,617 so he got violently compressed. 239 00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:39,287 Well, just find the culprits and have a word with them. 240 00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:41,914 Uh, no, that sounds like code for violence too. 241 00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:43,708 All right, well, I better go and... (INHALES) 242 00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:45,334 ...pay Matt a special visit. 243 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,920 Hey, I've done it again. I've got Mafia Tourette's. 244 00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:49,755 To be continued. 245 00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:55,094 Imagine if we got, like, five million grams of lithium 246 00:09:55,177 --> 00:09:56,679 and we saved Earth. 247 00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:59,849 And they made us gods, obviously. 248 00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:03,394 So that people would say, "Judd help us all," 249 00:10:03,477 --> 00:10:06,314 or, "For Judd's sake, tidy up your room, Christopher. 250 00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:08,316 I'm not gonna ask you again. 251 00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,234 Daddy's gonna beat the Judd out of you." 252 00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:12,236 What are you doing down here, Mr. Judd? 253 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:13,863 Oh, I um, I forgot the password 254 00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:14,947 for my panic room, 255 00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:16,407 so I figured this might make a good backup. 256 00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:18,743 Have you set a time to speak to Lucas yet? 257 00:10:18,826 --> 00:10:22,997 Hmm? Oh, yeah, 9:00 tonight. And what if they built, like, 258 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,666 a fuck-off gold statue of me? 259 00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,960 Yeah, that'd be cool. So, nine o'clock tonight? 260 00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:30,713 And I lived in the statue 261 00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:34,675 and my bedroom was in the eye of the gold statue. 262 00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:38,220 Right, with a spiral staircase going all the way up the spine. 263 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,181 Why are you getting into this, Billie? 264 00:10:40,264 --> 00:10:42,016 So um, are you sure that Lucas 265 00:10:42,099 --> 00:10:44,101 is actually gonna negotiate with you tonight? 266 00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:45,394 JUDD: Oh, absolutely. 267 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:48,689 Great, because I was really just wondering if I could sit in 268 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:52,526 -and I could learn from your... -(PLAYS HARMONICA) 269 00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:55,488 -...mastery. -You can be my penumbra. 270 00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:57,365 'Cause that's what penumbra means. 271 00:10:58,032 --> 00:10:59,116 I'd love that. 272 00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:01,369 (EXHALES) 273 00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:02,787 IRIS KIMURA: Matt pushed your reputation 274 00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:04,622 face down in a cow pat in Cuddle Club. 275 00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:06,248 Oh, he was just letting off steam. 276 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:07,666 Well, steam burns. 277 00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:10,294 Steam is an enemy to flesh and creases. 278 00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:12,463 Do we have to have this on everywhere? 279 00:11:12,546 --> 00:11:14,632 It's like watching your own colonoscopy. 280 00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:17,009 People are having cosplay viewing parties. 281 00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:19,637 (GASPS) Oh, you should host one. You're already in the costume. 282 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,347 I'd rather host my own immolation. 283 00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:22,515 You'd look friendly. 284 00:11:22,598 --> 00:11:25,059 Uncle Ryan Clark, never mind the gulags. 285 00:11:25,142 --> 00:11:27,645 ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING OVER TV) ♪ 286 00:11:27,728 --> 00:11:30,731 -Navigation is down. -We may die out here. 287 00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:33,859 That's fine. I never lived before I met you. 288 00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:35,528 Well, they can't write women. 289 00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:37,863 (BREATHES HEAVILY) 290 00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:39,448 I'm sorry, Captain Ryan. 291 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,992 We need you to be a hero one more time. 292 00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:43,994 That is some shaky dialogue. 293 00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:46,330 Dialogue fell out of the back of a dog. 294 00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:47,623 Activate, goddammit! 295 00:11:47,706 --> 00:11:50,960 (BREATHES HEAVILY) 296 00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:53,087 (SCOFFS) Even her thumb is stupid. 297 00:11:54,713 --> 00:11:56,048 Do you want me to get rid of her? 298 00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:57,341 'Cause I can do that, apparently. 299 00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:58,342 (PASSENGERS MURMURING) 300 00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:00,177 Uh, it was a joke. No, no, it was a joke. 301 00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:01,846 PHILIP: Zara? 302 00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:04,807 Zara, you here? 303 00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:08,477 Zara? (SIGHS) What is she...? 304 00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:12,356 -Oh, hi. Uh-huh. -PHILIP: Oh. Hey. 305 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,233 Why have you called me here after wrap? 306 00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:15,860 Did you want to run lines, or... 307 00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:17,653 Well, actually, 308 00:12:17,736 --> 00:12:19,196 I'd quite like to block the spacewalk, 309 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,949 because it's a very technically demanding scene for me. 310 00:12:22,032 --> 00:12:23,993 Look, it's-- it's just another kiss, 311 00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:25,953 -all right? -It's not just a kiss. 312 00:12:26,036 --> 00:12:27,455 Not with me. 313 00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:30,040 -Oh, God, I completely forgot. -Mm? 314 00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:32,001 You're reenacting your own sister's tragic death 315 00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:33,294 -by airlock. -Yeah. 316 00:12:33,377 --> 00:12:36,505 Good for you. I mean, awful. Also, absolute award bait. 317 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:40,176 Yeah. I was thinking about making it quite moving. 318 00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:42,344 Because in reality-- I mean, all she did really 319 00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:43,929 was just step back like-- 320 00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:46,140 (SCREAMS) Fuck! 321 00:12:46,223 --> 00:12:47,766 -(BODY THUDS) -Oh, shit. 322 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:53,105 Zara? You okay? 323 00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:54,482 ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 324 00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:57,776 Djopi Downer for you. TV favorite Zara 325 00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:00,988 is now too dead to play her dead sister. 326 00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:02,990 Let's all miss her. 327 00:13:03,073 --> 00:13:05,326 ♪ (MELANCHOLIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 328 00:13:05,409 --> 00:13:06,785 I'M NOT SHOUTING: It's Zara's universe, 329 00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:09,538 and we're all just living in it. Except her. 330 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,248 VIOLENT HAT MAKER: I named my dog Zara, 331 00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:12,500 so now I have to kill it. 332 00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:13,709 MOUSY TONGUE: I want her hair. 333 00:13:13,792 --> 00:13:16,128 Now she's dead she doesn't need it. LOL. 334 00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:19,548 CARWONTSTART: I hope she prepaid for her funeral. My mom didn't. 335 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:22,551 VAMPIREOMBUDSMAN: I once saw her in a restaurant eating a fish. 336 00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:24,845 INCELBYDATE: Got no words. 337 00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:27,389 Shouldn't have sent this message. 338 00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:30,017 COMMENTER 1: She's explaining science to the angels now. 339 00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:31,727 Oh, God. Can we kill that? 340 00:13:31,810 --> 00:13:33,062 Sick of looking at it. 341 00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:34,271 PASSENGER: Turn it off, turn it off! 342 00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:35,689 COMMENTER 2: She was killed by a fatal floor. 343 00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:37,775 -♪ (MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY) ♪ -Sweet relief. Am I right? 344 00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:40,861 DEVON: Feel better, Matt. 345 00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:43,280 Oh, no. He's come to finish the job! 346 00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:50,162 (MUFFLED) Oh, Matt, I am beyond sorry. 347 00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:53,415 Well, I'm not beyond sorry. I'm still in sorry. But... 348 00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:54,917 the far end of it, I'm-- 349 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:59,171 -You ordered me squeezed. -No, didn't. Wouldn't. Couldn't. 350 00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:01,090 -Thank you. -Yeah. Right. 351 00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:03,092 -What? -Look at me. 352 00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:06,470 I'm a dissident. Wounded in a-- a turf war. 353 00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:09,223 A blood feud. I'm like that haughty bitch 354 00:14:09,306 --> 00:14:11,141 who tried to fuck up A.S. Byatt. 355 00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:13,727 -You mean Margaret Drabble? -You're a Drabbler? 356 00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:15,938 -(CHUCKLES) -You love Madge-Drabs? 357 00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:20,484 Super fan. Dark Flood Rises... it's one of my favorite books. 358 00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:22,695 I lost my virginity to the audiobook. 359 00:14:22,778 --> 00:14:25,072 -I love knowing that. -I can't believe that 360 00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:26,949 all this time we had this special bond 361 00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:28,659 and we didn't even know about it. 362 00:14:28,742 --> 00:14:30,244 I mean, it's like we're two princesses 363 00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:33,080 and neither one of us can sleep on a hard pea. 364 00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:36,083 How much have they got you on? 365 00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:39,461 Whoa, that is quite a lot. Yeah. (INHALES) 366 00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:41,547 Well, look, Matt, it's... 367 00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:45,134 Why don't we just put all this shitty hurt behind us? 368 00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:46,427 I would like that, sister. 369 00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:48,053 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 370 00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:50,347 All right, mandatory smiles, everyone. Smile right now. 371 00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:53,350 -Smile. Hold these. -RYAN: Matt, 372 00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:55,102 handshake. 373 00:14:55,185 --> 00:14:56,520 (CAMERA CLICKING) 374 00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:58,480 I promise you, no-- no electric shocks, 375 00:14:58,564 --> 00:14:59,690 no neural toxins. 376 00:14:59,773 --> 00:15:01,692 -(PASSENGERS CHUCKLE AWKWARDLY) -(IRIS LAUGHS LOUDLY) 377 00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:03,319 MATT: Well... 378 00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:04,570 -(BOLT SLASHING) -(GASPS) 379 00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:05,904 (PASSENGERS GASP) 380 00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:08,532 -MATT: Oh. -RYAN: Oh. 381 00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:11,994 -Ah... ah... -Oh, motherfucker. 382 00:15:12,077 --> 00:15:13,787 Somebody put these in water. 383 00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:15,956 -They're plastic. -MATT: (GROANS) Fuck. 384 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,626 -(GROANS) -PASSENGER: It was Ryan! 385 00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:21,045 No, no, no, that wasn't me. That was-- that-- 386 00:15:21,128 --> 00:15:22,880 -♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(GROANS) 387 00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:24,298 The crossbow killer's right there! 388 00:15:24,381 --> 00:15:26,342 -(PASSENGERS SCREAM) -SPIKE MARTIN: That's not a killer. 389 00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:27,593 Matt's not dead. 390 00:15:27,676 --> 00:15:29,845 Somebody do something. We should take him to a hosp-- 391 00:15:29,928 --> 00:15:30,971 Oh, no, no, we're already there. 392 00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:32,681 SPIKE: It's a crossbow on a spaceship. 393 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:35,809 It always happens. Here, I-- I've got you. 394 00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:37,394 -Spike, this hurts... -Here we go... 395 00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:39,188 ...as much as it looks like it hurts! 396 00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:40,105 (PASSENGERS GASPING) 397 00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:41,315 Oh, I remember, you don't pull it. 398 00:15:41,398 --> 00:15:42,691 You push it through to the other side. 399 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:45,152 -Okay. (GROANS) -SPIKE: It's gonna sting a little. 400 00:15:45,235 --> 00:15:46,362 (SCREAMS) 401 00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:49,073 ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 402 00:15:49,156 --> 00:15:50,949 RYAN: Thought you were in charge of security. 403 00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:53,869 How could you allow a drive-by crossbowing? 404 00:15:53,952 --> 00:15:56,997 You said you wanted to "organize something" for him. 405 00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:58,916 Yes, organize a-- a gathering. 406 00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:02,211 A celebration with a big "sorry we crossed you" card. 407 00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:04,505 Uh, not super urgent, but, um-- 408 00:16:04,588 --> 00:16:06,298 See, this is how it goes with autocracies. 409 00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:08,050 It starts out, and it's all caviar 410 00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:09,718 and wiping your ass on a swan's neck, 411 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:12,221 and then pretty soon, you're perforating dissidents. 412 00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:13,722 -Yes, what is it? -RAV: We're not gonna cancel 413 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,849 the TV Avenue 5 viewing party, are we? 414 00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:19,520 Uh... (EXHALES) No, I'll go and I'll cheer the passengers up 415 00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:21,397 with the lithium news, and they can wash it down 416 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,190 with a complimentary glass of eel juice. 417 00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:25,234 Yes, it'll be fun. Lithi-fun. 418 00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:28,904 Okay, well, uh, you won't regret this. 419 00:16:28,987 --> 00:16:32,408 You will. But it's done. I've issued a ship-wide dictum. 420 00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:34,952 No passengers to dress up as you out of respect. 421 00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:37,621 No! You see, Iris, these are the actions 422 00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:38,831 of a dictator. 423 00:16:38,914 --> 00:16:40,582 People can come dressed as me if they like. 424 00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:43,085 I-- I want you to make that very clear. 425 00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:45,087 I might even go casual, 426 00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:46,755 certainly make me more approachable. 427 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,632 Although if anyone approaches me, stop them. 428 00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:49,842 ♪ (MUSIC PINGS) ♪ 429 00:16:49,925 --> 00:16:51,802 IRIS: (OVER SPEAKERS) If you want a good time tonight 430 00:16:51,885 --> 00:16:53,679 at the fun viewing party, by all means, 431 00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:55,139 dress as Commander Ryan. 432 00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:58,434 That's all passengers as Commander Ryan. 433 00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:00,227 ♪ (STATELY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 434 00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:03,188 KAREN: Honey, it's out of my control. 435 00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:05,315 It's Captain's orders. 436 00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:08,193 And God only knows what you're capable of. 437 00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:12,656 He. What-- (CLEARS THROAT) What he's capable of. 438 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:17,578 (SIGHS) Is it hot in here? I feel hot. 439 00:17:17,661 --> 00:17:21,665 -I just don't feel comfortable. -KAREN: Well, good. Use that. 440 00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:23,959 It'll help you feel more British. 441 00:17:24,042 --> 00:17:27,129 You know? Just imagine from the age of three 442 00:17:27,212 --> 00:17:29,798 that you only saw your parents at Christmas, 443 00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:32,593 and that you have teeth like Stonehenge. 444 00:17:32,676 --> 00:17:34,344 (IN COCKNEY ACCENT) 'Ello, darlin'! 445 00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:36,054 Show us your Beefeater. 446 00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:38,640 Oh, okay, no. Just, no. 447 00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:41,894 If you can't talk British, just stay silent. 448 00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:45,022 Like the people they subjugated. Let's just... 449 00:17:46,273 --> 00:17:48,942 fix those epaulettes. 450 00:17:49,026 --> 00:17:51,862 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 451 00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:55,282 Can I apologize again for both trying to pull out 452 00:17:55,365 --> 00:17:58,076 and then push further back in the crossbow bolt? 453 00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,286 I was in over my head. 454 00:17:59,369 --> 00:18:00,788 MADS: Everyone's favorite target! 455 00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:03,040 Bullseye dude! How do you feel? 456 00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:05,042 MATT: Well, they ran out of painkillers, 457 00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:07,503 so I'm in horrendous pain. 458 00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:10,297 Right, right. But remember, pain is all... 459 00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:13,008 Think beyond the pain. People love you now. 460 00:18:13,091 --> 00:18:15,177 Like, maybe that crossbow was fired 461 00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:18,180 by a kind of Nordic god of public relations. 462 00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:21,183 -What? -It was me. I shot you. 463 00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:24,102 You shot him, you goddamn Euromaniac? 464 00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:25,437 -What? To help him. -SPIKE: Wha-- 465 00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:28,232 MADS: He's charismatic now. He's got a big following. 466 00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:31,485 -You shot me for the numbers? -What's wrong with pamphlets? 467 00:18:31,568 --> 00:18:34,321 Also, the Cuddle Club? I gave the signal to initiate 468 00:18:34,404 --> 00:18:35,489 the terminal cuddle. 469 00:18:35,572 --> 00:18:37,658 Oh, you John Wilkes Booth motherfucker. 470 00:18:37,741 --> 00:18:39,034 People hated your guts 471 00:18:39,117 --> 00:18:40,994 until I shot a crossbow into them. 472 00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:43,455 You should thank me. You should kiss my asshole. 473 00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:46,542 -I'm a genius, actually. -You're crazy. 474 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:47,835 -(ZIPPER FASTENING) -Oh! 475 00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:49,002 MATT: Oh boy. 476 00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:50,963 Oh. Uh, you know, I can't take grapes in here, 477 00:18:51,046 --> 00:18:52,130 but a crossbow is fine. 478 00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:55,425 I may be crazy, but you are a disappointment. 479 00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:57,553 -First Judd, now you. -(GRUNTS) 480 00:18:57,636 --> 00:18:59,596 Everyone I follow becomes weak. 481 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,224 Listen, I was going to shoot you again, 482 00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:05,394 but I'm not going to. You don't deserve my bolts. 483 00:19:05,727 --> 00:19:06,728 Phony! 484 00:19:09,606 --> 00:19:10,774 Okay. 485 00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:13,527 Couple of red flags there, behavior-wise. 486 00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:16,989 -♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -WAITRESS: Here you go, sir. 487 00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:19,950 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 488 00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:22,578 PASSENGER 1: He's here! Ryan's here! 489 00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:26,748 ALL: Fly true, Supreme Commander! 490 00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:28,709 Oh, Christ. 491 00:19:28,792 --> 00:19:31,044 It's a gangbang of doppelgängers. 492 00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:33,463 IRIS: No, look, there's a TV Judd and Doug. 493 00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:36,258 Uh, sorry, we didn't mean to disrespect you, sir. 494 00:19:36,341 --> 00:19:38,260 We liked you the first time you were a Captain. 495 00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:40,304 Yeah, that's why we voted for you the second time. 496 00:19:40,387 --> 00:19:42,264 Oh, no, no, you voted for Nathan. 497 00:19:42,347 --> 00:19:44,224 Uh, only in the ballot sense. 498 00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:45,934 In-- in my heart, I voted for you. 499 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:47,936 Also, in my heart, I am dressed as you. 500 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,104 And I thought it was Halloween. 501 00:19:49,187 --> 00:19:50,814 I thought it was like a Halloween situation, 502 00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:54,234 so I came as Iris, 'cause she's a monster. 503 00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:55,986 Please don't shoot me like you did Matt. 504 00:19:56,069 --> 00:19:59,740 I didn't shoot Matt. No, I like Matt. 505 00:19:59,823 --> 00:20:01,909 I don't like Matt. I respect-- 506 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,370 Well, I wouldn't hurt him. I would not hurt Matt. 507 00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:07,623 No, he got someone else to do it for him. 508 00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:10,042 -(PASSENGERS GASP) -RYAN: No, I did not! 509 00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:11,668 Look, I'm not gonna murder anyone. 510 00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:13,921 I couldn't give two shits for murder. 511 00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:15,172 -(PASSENGERS GASPING) -He doesn't care 512 00:20:15,255 --> 00:20:16,715 that someone tried to murder Matt. 513 00:20:16,798 --> 00:20:17,925 LUCY: And Zara! 514 00:20:18,008 --> 00:20:19,593 PASSENGER 2: Watch your backs, heathens. 515 00:20:19,676 --> 00:20:21,094 Crucifix coming through. 516 00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:24,181 Oh, Christ. 517 00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:27,935 -Actually, literally. -I am Ryan, King of the Eels. 518 00:20:28,018 --> 00:20:30,771 Forgive me for I know not what the fuck I do. 519 00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:32,898 MADS: Oh, hello. I'm Matt 520 00:20:32,981 --> 00:20:35,442 and I'd rather be in pain than in power. 521 00:20:35,525 --> 00:20:39,112 Look, everyone, can we just smile and laugh? 522 00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:40,238 This is a party. 523 00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:42,950 We're gonna have fun, even if it kills us. 524 00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:44,618 (PASSENGERS MUTTERING) 525 00:20:44,701 --> 00:20:46,954 -PASSENGER 3: We're having fun! -PASSENGER 4: This is so much fun. 526 00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:48,622 Can't believe everyone's scared of me. 527 00:20:48,705 --> 00:20:50,666 Congratulations. Feels good, right? 528 00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:53,669 Did Judd pay you to do this? 529 00:20:53,752 --> 00:20:56,129 No, I thought I'd wear an outfit that you'd like to get me out of 530 00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:57,130 as quickly as possible. 531 00:20:57,214 --> 00:20:59,675 -Ugh. -And I have no imagination, 532 00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:02,094 so I copied her. Don't shoot me. 533 00:21:02,177 --> 00:21:04,680 (CHUCKLES) Ryan. Ryan. 534 00:21:04,763 --> 00:21:06,640 (WHISPERING) Thank you, Captain Buzzkill. 535 00:21:06,723 --> 00:21:09,059 I'm portraying Ryan in his truest form. 536 00:21:09,142 --> 00:21:10,435 Carrying all of our sins 537 00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:11,770 while dressed like a weekend gigolo. 538 00:21:11,853 --> 00:21:13,981 Well, like the Bible, you're upsetting a lot of people, 539 00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:16,233 so just dial it down tonally. 540 00:21:16,316 --> 00:21:19,695 Something about that uniform turns him into a big cat. 541 00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:21,321 -IRIS: I don't see it. -KAREN: Really? 542 00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:23,907 I mean, look at those cuffs. Mm. 543 00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:28,954 Wow, a little more of this uh, lady gravy, 544 00:21:29,037 --> 00:21:31,665 and we might just break our eight-year drought. 545 00:21:35,210 --> 00:21:36,837 I want to show her I don't need her. 546 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:39,756 You know, I can be Judd and Iris. 547 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,092 Yeah. I spent ages on my Sarah costume 548 00:21:42,175 --> 00:21:43,260 and then she died, 549 00:21:43,343 --> 00:21:45,178 and so I don't know if it's touching or offensive. 550 00:21:45,262 --> 00:21:46,805 No, corpseplay is hot. 551 00:21:46,888 --> 00:21:48,348 And it's better than staying dressed 552 00:21:48,432 --> 00:21:50,684 as a lonely mechanic, right? 553 00:21:50,767 --> 00:21:53,061 Okay, observe the master. 554 00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:55,522 NARRATOR: Previously on Avenue 5... 555 00:21:55,605 --> 00:21:57,733 ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 556 00:21:57,816 --> 00:22:00,360 No, this can't be right. 557 00:22:00,444 --> 00:22:03,030 When I drink, the demons don't sound quite so loud. 558 00:22:03,113 --> 00:22:05,198 -(SOBBING) I'm sorry. -Yeah. 559 00:22:05,282 --> 00:22:06,575 Well, sorry just won't cut it! 560 00:22:06,658 --> 00:22:08,952 Whatever God you believe in, you better hope 561 00:22:09,036 --> 00:22:11,288 -they're in a good mood. -(ENGINE FIRES) 562 00:22:11,371 --> 00:22:13,457 SPIKE: Billie, I found another dot. 563 00:22:13,540 --> 00:22:14,916 -(PANTING) -What? 564 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,835 A big missile heading right for us. 565 00:22:16,918 --> 00:22:18,587 I tho-- I thought it was a floater. 566 00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:19,963 -It's not a floater. -What? 567 00:22:20,047 --> 00:22:21,840 Nice. These motherfuckers. 568 00:22:21,923 --> 00:22:23,592 It's like a game of poker with these guys. 569 00:22:23,675 --> 00:22:26,094 -What the fuck? -JUDD: All right. 570 00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:28,055 -Lucas, my man. -BILLIE: Wait! 571 00:22:28,138 --> 00:22:31,475 Little birdie tells me you launched a missile at us. 572 00:22:31,558 --> 00:22:32,934 Yeah, it's a big fuck off missile 573 00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:34,811 that's traveling at 600 miles per hour. 574 00:22:34,895 --> 00:22:36,354 Watch this. Well, 575 00:22:36,438 --> 00:22:38,482 you may want to turn that bad boy around, 576 00:22:38,565 --> 00:22:40,609 here's the moment, because we just found 577 00:22:40,692 --> 00:22:42,778 an asteroid full of a juicy little element 578 00:22:42,861 --> 00:22:44,404 we like to call lithium. 579 00:22:44,488 --> 00:22:45,947 LUCAS SATO: Horseshit. Where is it? 580 00:22:46,031 --> 00:22:48,200 Here comes the clincher. How 'bout I tell you 581 00:22:48,283 --> 00:22:50,744 after you turn that missile around, Lucas? 582 00:22:50,827 --> 00:22:53,246 Well, I can't. There's just no override. 583 00:22:53,330 --> 00:22:55,373 Yeah, I mean, we would have installed a device, 584 00:22:55,457 --> 00:22:57,334 but uh, we're out of lithium. 585 00:22:57,417 --> 00:22:59,920 And now we go along with the ruse. 586 00:23:00,003 --> 00:23:01,505 (CHUCKLES) Oh, sure. 587 00:23:01,588 --> 00:23:04,299 So the missile "can't be stopped," 588 00:23:04,382 --> 00:23:05,926 and we're "all gonna die." 589 00:23:06,009 --> 00:23:07,844 Yeah. Without the stupid-- 590 00:23:07,928 --> 00:23:09,513 Were you making air quotation marks? 591 00:23:09,596 --> 00:23:11,515 -Sounded like you were. -Really? 592 00:23:11,598 --> 00:23:12,682 LUCAS: Yeah. 593 00:23:14,309 --> 00:23:16,103 Maybe don't-- don't watch this part. 594 00:23:17,854 --> 00:23:19,940 Hey, Lucas, uh, is this for-- 595 00:23:20,023 --> 00:23:21,608 Are you being for real right now? 596 00:23:21,691 --> 00:23:24,402 Yeah. Yeah, the missile is uh, it's unstoppable, 597 00:23:24,486 --> 00:23:26,488 and it will detonate on impact 598 00:23:26,571 --> 00:23:29,783 and annihilate every single molecule of the ship. 599 00:23:29,866 --> 00:23:31,118 -(SIGHS) -Oh. 600 00:23:31,201 --> 00:23:32,744 So, how about you just give me the location 601 00:23:32,828 --> 00:23:34,621 -of the asteroid? -How about this? 602 00:23:34,704 --> 00:23:37,415 I hope that that asteroid smashes into the planet 603 00:23:37,499 --> 00:23:39,251 and annihilates every single life form 604 00:23:39,334 --> 00:23:40,836 except for you, and then you live 605 00:23:40,919 --> 00:23:43,547 an additional 50 years and die of an asshole infection! 606 00:23:43,630 --> 00:23:45,590 -No, no, no. (LAUGHS) -That's what I hope! 607 00:23:45,674 --> 00:23:48,510 Lucas, Lucas, why don't we just pretend he doesn't exist. 608 00:23:48,593 --> 00:23:50,637 One of my favorite hobbies, actually. 609 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:52,055 Um, what are the coordinates 610 00:23:52,139 --> 00:23:54,641 of this miss-- What the fuck did you just do? 611 00:23:55,767 --> 00:23:56,852 ♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING OVER TV) ♪ 612 00:23:56,935 --> 00:23:59,437 TV RYAN: I had the nightmare again, Mr. Judd. 613 00:23:59,521 --> 00:24:01,982 -Same one as always. -KAREN: Ryan... 614 00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:04,609 want to make a break for it? 615 00:24:04,693 --> 00:24:07,279 TV RYAN: I was being murdered in space. 616 00:24:07,362 --> 00:24:10,740 My room, now. Frank won't be back for hours. 617 00:24:10,824 --> 00:24:12,117 Only this time, 618 00:24:12,909 --> 00:24:14,161 it wasn't a nightmare. 619 00:24:16,413 --> 00:24:17,622 It was a dream. 620 00:24:17,706 --> 00:24:20,792 I want you to lock the door and swear at me in British. 621 00:24:20,876 --> 00:24:23,253 Swear at me like I owe you money. 622 00:24:28,633 --> 00:24:31,595 -(ALARM BLARING) -Anomaly detected, Captain. 623 00:24:31,678 --> 00:24:34,264 -♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -The light. It's getting bigger. 624 00:24:34,347 --> 00:24:36,766 -(BREATHES HEAVILY) -Captain, we have incoming. 625 00:24:36,850 --> 00:24:39,227 -What kind of incoming? -Captain, it's a missile. 626 00:24:39,311 --> 00:24:40,687 I love y-- 627 00:24:40,770 --> 00:24:43,690 (EXPLOSION BOOMS) 628 00:24:43,773 --> 00:24:45,192 (ALL GASP) 629 00:24:45,275 --> 00:24:46,359 PASSENGER 5: What is this madness? 630 00:24:46,443 --> 00:24:49,863 -(CONFUSED MUTTERING) -PASSENGER 6: Oh, no! 631 00:24:49,946 --> 00:24:50,947 What? 632 00:24:52,282 --> 00:24:53,408 What just happened? 633 00:24:53,491 --> 00:24:56,453 I believe the old industry term is a "reverse Soprano." 634 00:24:56,536 --> 00:25:00,373 -They're all definitely dead. -Wow. Well, that's a wrap. 635 00:25:00,457 --> 00:25:03,376 Any chance this is, you know, just a dream sequence? 636 00:25:03,460 --> 00:25:05,170 NARRATOR: Dedicated to those who died 637 00:25:05,253 --> 00:25:06,254 on the real Avenue 5 638 00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:07,839 in the tragic terrorist missile strike. 639 00:25:07,923 --> 00:25:10,759 -(PASSENGERS GASP) -IRIS: Guess I don't have final cut after all. 640 00:25:10,842 --> 00:25:12,552 (PASSENGERS MUTTERING) 641 00:25:12,636 --> 00:25:15,096 Oh, my God. We're all dead! 642 00:25:15,180 --> 00:25:17,724 All right, everybody, calm down, calm down. 643 00:25:17,807 --> 00:25:21,394 There is no missile. This-- this is TV writers 644 00:25:21,478 --> 00:25:22,771 desperate to get an award. 645 00:25:22,854 --> 00:25:26,274 Okay, there is, in fact, a real missile. (PANTS) 646 00:25:26,358 --> 00:25:28,235 -And that's code for-- -BILLIE: No, no, no code. 647 00:25:28,318 --> 00:25:30,528 That is some kind of cover up for the fact 648 00:25:30,612 --> 00:25:34,032 that there is a real missile coming for this real ship. 649 00:25:34,532 --> 00:25:36,701 Yeah, mm-hmm. 650 00:25:36,785 --> 00:25:39,412 -Fuck. I gotta go. -MADS: Goodbye, Fake Jesus. 651 00:25:39,496 --> 00:25:40,914 Don't come back in three days. 652 00:25:40,997 --> 00:25:44,292 No. No, guys. Those are just visual effects. 653 00:25:44,376 --> 00:25:46,127 I know that because I work in VFX. 654 00:25:46,211 --> 00:25:49,923 Um, I may have fucked the pooch. 655 00:25:50,006 --> 00:25:52,259 So, I just want to say I'm sorry. 656 00:25:52,342 --> 00:25:53,885 Tomorrow will be better. 657 00:25:53,969 --> 00:25:56,888 Although it does include a missile. 658 00:25:56,972 --> 00:26:01,309 No. No, no, no. Before we die, I got one thing to tell you. 659 00:26:01,393 --> 00:26:04,145 I've been fake respecting you. There are dead eel skins 660 00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:06,314 at the bottom of that tank that I have more respect for 661 00:26:06,398 --> 00:26:10,235 than you, you narcissistic little bulb of nothing. 662 00:26:10,318 --> 00:26:12,862 She was great in the negotiations, by the way. 663 00:26:12,946 --> 00:26:14,030 -Really led it. -I-- 664 00:26:14,739 --> 00:26:16,533 What's the plan? 665 00:26:16,616 --> 00:26:20,120 The plan is we have to control the panic. 666 00:26:20,203 --> 00:26:22,580 Iris, in spite of what I said to you, 667 00:26:22,664 --> 00:26:24,833 I assume there is a secret police force. 668 00:26:24,916 --> 00:26:27,002 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 669 00:26:27,085 --> 00:26:28,837 Round up the usual panickers. 670 00:26:29,546 --> 00:26:31,298 Operation Harvest is go. 671 00:26:33,300 --> 00:26:35,844 (PASSENGERS CLAMORING) 672 00:26:35,927 --> 00:26:38,471 And don't shoot anybody with a crossbow. 673 00:26:38,555 --> 00:26:39,723 Unless... 674 00:26:40,890 --> 00:26:42,225 No, do what you must. 675 00:26:42,892 --> 00:26:44,519 Come on! Go! 676 00:26:44,602 --> 00:26:46,354 (PASSENGERS CLAMOR) 677 00:26:46,438 --> 00:26:48,732 -PASSENGER 7: I haven't done anything wrong! -(INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 678 00:26:48,815 --> 00:26:55,739 ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 679 00:27:44,371 --> 00:27:46,206 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪