1 00:00:03,166 --> 00:00:05,266 - PREVIOUSLY ON BETHENNY GETTING MARRIED?... 2 00:00:05,266 --> 00:00:06,900 [cheers and applause] 3 00:00:06,900 --> 00:00:09,300 I HAVE AN OBSCENE AMOUNT OF THINGS GOING ON RIGHT NOW. 4 00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:12,567 SO COMING OUT ON THIS NIGHT, IT WAS DEFINITELY LIKE, BAM. 5 00:00:12,567 --> 00:00:13,834 NOW I LIVE WITH JASON. 6 00:00:13,834 --> 00:00:15,266 AND I'VE LIVED WITH PEOPLE BEFORE, 7 00:00:15,266 --> 00:00:16,734 BUT JUST MOVING IN TOGETHER 8 00:00:16,734 --> 00:00:19,133 I THINK WAS A VERY BIG ADJUSTMENT. 9 00:00:19,133 --> 00:00:20,834 - YOU'RE HAVING ICING FOR BREAKFAST? 10 00:00:20,834 --> 00:00:22,033 - JUST A LITTLE BIT, NOT A LOT. 11 00:00:22,033 --> 00:00:23,300 - WELL, I DEFINITELY HOPE TO GET 12 00:00:23,300 --> 00:00:24,667 THE OPPORTUNITY TO WORK FOR YOU. 13 00:00:24,667 --> 00:00:26,700 - YES, THANK YOU SO MUCH, MAX. 14 00:00:26,700 --> 00:00:27,800 PICK SOMEBODY. 15 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:30,433 - BRYN. - RIGHT, SO HE'S STRAIGHT. 16 00:00:30,433 --> 00:00:32,100 HAVE YOU PLANNED A WEDDING IN FOUR WEEKS? 17 00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:34,533 - I PLA--I THINK I PLANNED ONE IN TWO MONTHS. 18 00:00:34,533 --> 00:00:35,900 - IT HAS TO BE HERE. 19 00:00:35,900 --> 00:00:38,200 - IT'S JUST A QUESTION OF AVAILABILITY 20 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:39,367 AND IF WE HAVE THE DAYS. 21 00:00:39,367 --> 00:00:40,600 - THEY'LL--WE'LL WORK IT OUT. 22 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:41,633 YOU HAVE TO FIGURE IT OUT. 23 00:00:41,633 --> 00:00:42,800 I'M GETTING OVERWHELMED, 24 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:44,233 AND I'M REALLY, LIKE, BREAKING DOWN, 25 00:00:44,233 --> 00:00:45,667 AND I CAN'T PLEASE EVERYONE, AND I TOOK ON TOO MUCH. 26 00:00:45,667 --> 00:00:47,300 GOOD, THANK YOU. CAREFUL, CAREFUL. 27 00:00:47,300 --> 00:00:48,333 - [snarling] - OOH! 28 00:00:48,333 --> 00:00:50,734 - [barking] - OH, MY GOD! 29 00:00:50,734 --> 00:00:52,100 YOU'RE NOT GETTING THIS WHOLE THING. 30 00:00:52,100 --> 00:00:54,166 LIKE, I'M PREGNANT. I'M SEVEN MONTHS PREGNANT, 31 00:00:54,166 --> 00:00:56,633 AND I'M PLANNING THIS THING, AND YOU HAVE BEEN M.I.A. 32 00:00:56,633 --> 00:00:58,166 YOU HAVE TO GET INVOLVED AND HELP, 33 00:00:58,166 --> 00:00:59,834 BECAUSE THIS IS SOMETHING THAT WE'RE--THE TRAIN HAS LEFT... 34 00:00:59,834 --> 00:01:01,200 - YOU'RE JUST MAD 'CAUSE I'M SITTING HERE LOUNGING, 35 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:02,767 WATCHING THE BASKETBALL GAME. - YES! 36 00:01:02,767 --> 00:01:04,834 [crying] NO! 37 00:01:04,834 --> 00:01:06,433 I WORE THIS FOUR DAYS AGO. 38 00:01:06,433 --> 00:01:09,100 SHH. 39 00:01:09,100 --> 00:01:11,834 - I NEED THIS-- - SHH, SHH. 40 00:01:11,834 --> 00:01:15,433 - IT IS MY GREAT PLEASURE TO PRONOUNCE YOU 41 00:01:15,433 --> 00:01:17,600 HUSBAND AND WIFE. 42 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:21,266 [cheers and applause] 43 00:01:21,266 --> 00:01:23,266 - WHY IS THIS HAPPENING, JASON? 44 00:01:23,266 --> 00:01:25,133 WHY ARE WE LOOKING FOR AN IGUANA RIGHT NOW? 45 00:01:25,133 --> 00:01:26,633 THIS ISN'T NORMAL. 46 00:01:26,633 --> 00:01:28,633 - BECAUSE AN ANIMAL [bleep] IN OUR LIVING ROOM. 47 00:01:28,633 --> 00:01:30,400 - AH! 48 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:32,533 - [barking] 49 00:01:32,533 --> 00:01:33,800 - WHAT HAPPENED? 50 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:35,934 - IT WAS WATER COMING DOWN MY LEG. 51 00:01:35,934 --> 00:01:37,400 - DID YOUR WATER BREAK? 52 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:38,767 - CALL DR. GOLD. 53 00:01:38,767 --> 00:01:42,600 - HOLD ON. BREATHE IT OUT, BABY. 54 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:44,900 - I'M CROWNING! NO, I'M JUST KIDDING. 55 00:01:44,900 --> 00:01:47,367 - YOU'RE SO NOT SERIOUS AND YOU'RE CONTRACTING. 56 00:01:47,367 --> 00:01:49,800 WOULD YOU TAKE THIS THING SERIOUSLY, PLEASE? 57 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:51,467 [laughing] 58 00:01:51,467 --> 00:01:54,100 SHE'S SO PRECIOUS. 59 00:01:54,100 --> 00:01:57,233 I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU. 60 00:01:57,233 --> 00:01:59,934 I HAVE THREE GIRLS I'M IN LOVE WITH. 61 00:01:59,934 --> 00:02:01,700 YOU, COOKIE, AND MOMMY. 62 00:02:03,900 --> 00:02:06,967 - [baby crying] 63 00:02:06,967 --> 00:02:10,100 - OKAY. - SHH, ALL RIGHT. 64 00:02:10,100 --> 00:02:12,500 - OKAY. MOTHERHOOD IS NO JOKE. 65 00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:15,233 I COULD WRITE 12 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLERS, 66 00:02:15,233 --> 00:02:18,500 AND THIS WOULD STILL BE HARD. 67 00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:21,500 [upbeat music] 68 00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:29,500 ♪♪ ♪♪ 69 00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:40,767 - BETHENNY? - RAMONA'S HERE! 70 00:02:40,767 --> 00:02:43,800 - I'M GONNA START CRYING. - I KNOW. 71 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:47,166 I KNOW. RAMONA HAS A DAUGHTER 72 00:02:47,166 --> 00:02:50,600 AND SHE HAD HER AT ABOUT THE SAME AGE AS I AM. 73 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:52,000 AND I THINK SHE REALLY CAN RELATE. 74 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,967 SHE'S BEEN REALLY SENTIMENTAL, AND SUPPORTIVE, 75 00:02:53,967 --> 00:02:55,934 AND SWEET, AND EXCITED ABOUT BRYN. 76 00:02:55,934 --> 00:02:58,500 - OH, MY GOD. - IT'S BEEN A WHILE, RIGHT? 77 00:02:58,500 --> 00:03:01,133 - OH, MY--IT SEEMS LIKE JUST YESTERDAY AVERY WAS THIS SMALL. 78 00:03:01,133 --> 00:03:03,800 - SHE'S THE NICEST... - SWEETNESS! 79 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,233 WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU FOR A LONG TIME. 80 00:03:06,233 --> 00:03:08,800 HOW ARE YOU, BRYN? 81 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:11,467 I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU, BRYN. 82 00:03:11,467 --> 00:03:12,467 - COME, SIT DOWN. 83 00:03:12,467 --> 00:03:15,100 - SHE'S SO CUTE. 84 00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:16,900 OH, MY GOSH, LIGHT AS A FEATHER. 85 00:03:16,900 --> 00:03:18,266 - SHE'S SO SWEET. 86 00:03:18,266 --> 00:03:19,600 LOOK AT HER EYES, SHE'S WIDE AWAKE. 87 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,033 - I WAS 39. - [crying] 88 00:03:21,033 --> 00:03:23,233 - NO, YOU'RE HUNGRY. - NO, OKAY, YOU WANT MOMMY? 89 00:03:23,233 --> 00:03:24,700 - DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY, SHE GETS-- 90 00:03:24,700 --> 00:03:26,200 - NO, NO. I'M NOT TAKING IT PERSONALLY. 91 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:27,800 I GOTTA TELL YA, THE CLOSEST THING 92 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:29,800 TO DRAMA I HAVE IS MY WEDDING PLANNER, 93 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,333 WHO'S THE GREATEST, AND WHO'S DOING MY SHOWER. 94 00:03:31,333 --> 00:03:32,600 ARE YOU COMING TO MY SHOWER? 95 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:33,967 OR YOU'RE NOT. YOU'RE AWAY. 96 00:03:33,967 --> 00:03:35,433 - YEAH, I'M IN VEGAS. - YOU'RE ALWAYS AWAY. 97 00:03:35,433 --> 00:03:36,633 - I KNOW. - DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 98 00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:37,934 I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY. 99 00:03:37,934 --> 00:03:39,266 - [crying] - AW! 100 00:03:39,266 --> 00:03:40,667 ALL RIGHT, WE'LL PUT YOU DOWN. 101 00:03:40,667 --> 00:03:42,133 GINA, I THINK SHE'S GETTING CRANKY. 102 00:03:42,133 --> 00:03:43,500 NO, IT'S OKAY. 103 00:03:43,500 --> 00:03:44,934 - SHE'S LIKE, "YOU KNOW, DON'T..." 104 00:03:44,934 --> 00:03:47,000 - HERE HOLD HER FOR ONE SEC. 105 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,467 - YOU CAN HAVE A GLASS OF WINE, 106 00:03:48,467 --> 00:03:50,533 I CAN HAVE A HALF A GLASS OF WINE. 107 00:03:50,533 --> 00:03:52,433 - REALLY, YOU'RE JUST VERY, VERY BLESSED, RIGHT? 108 00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:54,100 - I KNOW, WE'RE SO EXCITED. 109 00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:56,300 'CAUSE WHEN YOU'RE OLDER, YOU REALIZE THAT IT'S NOT-- 110 00:03:56,300 --> 00:03:58,500 THAT YOU'RE LUCKY, THAT YOU COULD'VE, LIKE, PASSED IT BY. 111 00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:00,200 AND AS A WOMAN, WE HAVE-- CHEERS. 112 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:01,767 - CHEERS. - WE HAD A CONVERSATION, 113 00:04:01,767 --> 00:04:02,767 AND YOUR FRIENDS WERE ALL SAYING-- 114 00:04:02,767 --> 00:04:04,033 YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS WERE ALL SAYING 115 00:04:04,033 --> 00:04:05,400 I SHOULD FREEZE MY EGGS IN THE NEXT SIX MONTHS. 116 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:07,700 AND I WAS, LIKE, CALLING AND THINKING ABOUT IT. 117 00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:08,934 - RIGHT. - LET'S GO SIT DOWN. 118 00:04:08,934 --> 00:04:10,533 - YOU'RE JUST LUCKY THIS ALL HAPPENED. 119 00:04:10,533 --> 00:04:11,867 - WELL, IT'S FUNNY THAT YOU SAY THAT 120 00:04:11,867 --> 00:04:14,133 BECAUSE JASON'S, LIKE, WELL AWARE OF THE AGE, 121 00:04:14,133 --> 00:04:15,734 AND HE WANTS TO HAVE ANOTHER KID. 122 00:04:15,734 --> 00:04:17,133 AND HE'S, LIKE, ALREADY TALKING ABOUT IT. 123 00:04:17,133 --> 00:04:19,133 - I MEAN, MY WHOLE THING WAS I WAS-- 124 00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:21,066 I WAS VERY INTO, FOCUSED INTO MY BUSINESS. 125 00:04:21,066 --> 00:04:22,367 - HELLO. 126 00:04:22,367 --> 00:04:23,633 - I THOUGHT MY BUSINESS WAS MY OTHER BABY. 127 00:04:23,633 --> 00:04:25,266 - HELLO. 128 00:04:25,266 --> 00:04:26,867 - AND I FELT, PERSONALLY, LIKE IF I HAD ANOTHER CHILD 129 00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:27,967 SOMETHING WOULD HAVE TO GIVE, 130 00:04:27,967 --> 00:04:29,166 AND IT WOULD HAVE TO BE MY BUSINESS. 131 00:04:29,166 --> 00:04:30,600 AND I DIDN'T WANNA GIVE UP MY BUSINESS. 132 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,233 'CAUSE IT'S MY IDENTITY. - BUT ULTIMATELY, 133 00:04:32,233 --> 00:04:35,133 YOU DO KIND OF WISH THAT YOU HAD ANOTHER CHILD? 134 00:04:35,133 --> 00:04:37,133 - RIGHT NOW, AVERY'S AT THE DIFFICULT TEEN YEARS 135 00:04:37,133 --> 00:04:38,300 WHERE EVERYTHING IS A STRUGGLE. - I KNOW, IT'S COMING. 136 00:04:38,300 --> 00:04:39,667 - SO I DON'T KNOW. 137 00:04:39,667 --> 00:04:41,033 I MEAN, IT'S LIKE WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR BAD MOMENTS 138 00:04:41,033 --> 00:04:42,300 WITH YOUR CHILD YOU GO... [exhales] 139 00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:43,500 THANK GOD I ONLY HAVE ONE, YOU KNOW? 140 00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:44,834 - YEAH, EXACTLY. - YOU'LL FIGURE IT OUT. 141 00:04:44,834 --> 00:04:46,433 - WE'LL FIGURE-- YEAH, WE'LL KNOW. 142 00:04:46,433 --> 00:04:48,400 AND JASON, LITERALLY, IS COUNTING THE DAYS-- 143 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:50,333 - THE DAYS FOR WHAT? - TILL HE CAN HAVE SEX. 144 00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:52,200 - OH, GOD. I DIDN'T EVEN-- 145 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:53,900 WHEN--OH, MY GOSH. OH, NOW I'M GETTING-- 146 00:04:53,900 --> 00:04:55,066 OKAY--I RE--OH, GOSH. 147 00:04:55,066 --> 00:04:57,633 - WHAT? - NO, OKAY. 148 00:04:57,633 --> 00:05:00,367 SO BECAUSE I HAD A VERY DIFFICULT DELIVERY, 149 00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:03,166 I COULDN'T EVEN IMAGINE MARIO COMING NEAR ME, OKAY? 150 00:05:03,166 --> 00:05:06,333 - NO EXIT OR ENTRY. - LIKE, NO. 151 00:05:06,333 --> 00:05:08,100 - WELL, YOU WEREN'T GETTING ANYTHING FOR SIX WEEKS. 152 00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:09,467 YOU MEAN FOR WAY LONGER? 153 00:05:09,467 --> 00:05:11,066 - I GUESS HE READ THE PAPERS, "WELL, YOU KNOW, HONEY, 154 00:05:11,066 --> 00:05:14,266 IT'S TIME NOW, WE CAN, YOU KNOW, HAVE RELATIONS AGAIN." 155 00:05:14,266 --> 00:05:16,000 - I GO... - HAVE RELATIONS? 156 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,367 WHO ARE YOU? "HAVE RELATIONS?" 157 00:05:18,367 --> 00:05:20,667 WHO ARE YOU? - [laughing] 158 00:05:20,667 --> 00:05:22,033 - SO HOW LONG DID THAT GO ON? 159 00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:28,133 YOU'RE SPEECHLESS? THAT'S A FIRST. 160 00:05:28,133 --> 00:05:30,133 WOW. IS GINA LAUGHING? 161 00:05:30,133 --> 00:05:31,266 - YOU HEARING THAT ONE? 162 00:05:31,266 --> 00:05:33,033 - YOU LOVE TO TALK ABOUT SEX. 163 00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:34,500 SHE'S BEEN CHECKING JASON, 164 00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,433 SHE'S LIKE, "DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT," RIGHT? 165 00:05:36,433 --> 00:05:38,667 RELATIONS. LIKE, HAVE WE MET? 166 00:05:38,667 --> 00:05:40,066 - NO SEX. 167 00:05:40,066 --> 00:05:41,533 - SHE IS SO CUTE. - SHE'S THE CUTEST. 168 00:05:41,533 --> 00:05:43,600 - I'LL TAKE THE BOTTLE-- - I MEAN, I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE. 169 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,800 - AND REALLY, BY THE WAY, I CANNOT BELIEVE 170 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,400 THAT SO MANY PEOPLE DO THIS, 171 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:49,600 BECAUSE IT'S BY FAR THE HARDEST THING EVER. 172 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,867 MUCH HARDER THAN WORK. - OH, IT IS. 173 00:05:51,867 --> 00:05:53,600 IT'S OVERWHELMING. IT'S VERY OVERWHELMING. 174 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:55,700 IT'S, YOU KNOW, IT'S WELL WORTH IT, BUT IT'S NOT-- 175 00:05:55,700 --> 00:05:56,934 I MEAN, TO RAISE CHILDREN, IS-- 176 00:05:56,934 --> 00:05:59,333 IT'S A JOB, IT REALLY IS A JOB. 177 00:06:10,333 --> 00:06:12,600 - I'M MAKING STUFFED PEPPERS. - AH. 178 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:14,166 - WHAT DO YOU THINK? - LOOKS GOOD. 179 00:06:14,166 --> 00:06:15,567 - YEAH? LOOK GOOD? 180 00:06:15,567 --> 00:06:17,500 - MAMA, YOU LOOK GREAT. 181 00:06:17,500 --> 00:06:18,934 - I PUT CLOTHES ON. 182 00:06:18,934 --> 00:06:20,600 - LOOK AT THE BODY ON HER, GINA. 183 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:21,934 - SHE LOOKS VERY GOOD. 184 00:06:21,934 --> 00:06:23,100 - I MEAN, IT'S NOT BACK, 185 00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:25,066 BUT IT'S, LIKE, WE'RE ON THE ROAD. 186 00:06:25,066 --> 00:06:28,834 - LET ME SEE THE PROFILE. LET ME SEE. 187 00:06:28,834 --> 00:06:31,934 I REALLY THOUGHT AT OUR AGE, OR YOUR AGE, 188 00:06:31,934 --> 00:06:34,033 IT WOULD BE A MESS. 189 00:06:34,033 --> 00:06:36,166 I DIDN'T THINK YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO BOUNCE BACK. 190 00:06:36,166 --> 00:06:37,700 I THOUGHT IF YOU WERE 25 YEARS OLD... 191 00:06:37,700 --> 00:06:39,967 - I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE HALF A MESS TOO, I GOTTA BE HONEST. 192 00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:42,500 I WAS NOT THAT HOPEFUL. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? 193 00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:44,367 BETTER HE'S LOOKING AT ME THAN SOMEONE ELSE. 194 00:06:44,367 --> 00:06:47,233 'CAUSE I WILL CUT HIS BALLS. - THAT'S RIGHT. 195 00:06:47,233 --> 00:06:49,000 - SHE KNOWS. - [softly snorts] 196 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,567 - SHE'S VERY-- - GONNA CUT MY BALLS OFF? 197 00:06:50,567 --> 00:06:52,133 - YES. SHE'S VERY, LIKE, 198 00:06:52,133 --> 00:06:56,400 IN TUNE TO, LIKE, MEN AND THEIR SWAYING DICKS. 199 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:58,367 SHE'S NOT INTO IT AT ALL. 200 00:06:58,367 --> 00:07:00,166 - HOW DID WE GET ON THIS TOPIC? 201 00:07:00,166 --> 00:07:01,367 - I DON'T KNOW. I JUST KNOW. 202 00:07:01,367 --> 00:07:02,633 - YOU JUST KNOW WHAT? 203 00:07:02,633 --> 00:07:04,100 - SHE'S LIKE, "YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR MAN." 204 00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:05,333 LIKE, SHE'S ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE. 205 00:07:05,333 --> 00:07:06,500 - THAT'S RIGHT. - RIGHT? 206 00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:07,934 - THAT'S RIGHT. 207 00:07:11,033 --> 00:07:13,100 - HE CAN. - THAT WON'T HAPPEN. 208 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,533 - IT CAN BE A ONE-TIME DEAL, 'CAUSE HE'S NOT-- 209 00:07:14,533 --> 00:07:16,500 HE WON'T HAVE A PENIS ANYMORE. - THAT WON'T HAPPEN. 210 00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:18,834 - SO IT BETTER BE SOME GOOD PUSSY, 211 00:07:18,834 --> 00:07:21,400 BECAUSE IT'LL BE THE LAST PUSSY HE EVER SEES. 212 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:22,867 - I AGREE WITH YOU. 213 00:07:22,867 --> 00:07:25,200 I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU. - I KNOW. 214 00:07:27,967 --> 00:07:29,834 I KNOW. - AW, MAN. 215 00:07:29,834 --> 00:07:31,233 SEE HOW SHE TALKS TO ME? 216 00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:33,367 - THAT'S LOVE, BABY. THAT'S LOVE. 217 00:07:33,367 --> 00:07:35,200 - THAT'S LOVE? 218 00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:49,433 - CUPCAKES OUTSIDE. 219 00:07:49,433 --> 00:07:52,667 - AND DO WE WANT PEOPLE SERVING DRINKS...? 220 00:07:52,667 --> 00:07:54,266 - HEY, ERICA. - YEAH. 221 00:07:54,266 --> 00:07:55,433 - WILL YOU HELP ME HERE? 222 00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:58,667 I'M TRYING TO GET THIS CAKE-- 223 00:07:58,667 --> 00:08:02,066 SWEETIES IN L.A. SHIPPED THIS TO US. 224 00:08:02,066 --> 00:08:03,967 - I THINK--YES, I THINK YOU CAN GET IT. 225 00:08:03,967 --> 00:08:06,734 - SHAWN THOUGHT HE GOT OUT ALIVE. 226 00:08:06,734 --> 00:08:09,834 JUST WHEN YOU THINK IT WAS SAFE TO GO INTO THE WATER, 227 00:08:09,834 --> 00:08:11,533 I'M PULLING YOU RIGHT BACK IN. 228 00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:14,133 AND IT NEEDS TO BE PERFECT. 229 00:08:14,133 --> 00:08:16,200 - [gasp] - WHA-- 230 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,166 - O-M-G. 231 00:08:18,166 --> 00:08:21,033 [bleep], [bleep]. WE HAVE A CAKETASTROPHE. 232 00:08:21,033 --> 00:08:23,033 - OH, MY GOSH. - THIS IS NOT COOL. 233 00:08:23,033 --> 00:08:24,467 SO THEY DID SEND-- 234 00:08:24,467 --> 00:08:27,633 JUST IN CASE, THEY SENT ME A REPAIR KIT. 235 00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:29,133 BUT I'M NOT, LIKE... 236 00:08:29,133 --> 00:08:31,100 I'M NOT, LIKE, SOME PASTRY CHEF. 237 00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:32,700 - OF COURSE. - ...WHAT THE HELL I'M DOING. 238 00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:34,767 THE "W" IS ALL, LIKE, SMASHED. 239 00:08:34,767 --> 00:08:36,867 - MM-HMM. - [gasp] 240 00:08:36,867 --> 00:08:38,433 - [giggles] THERE'S NO "B". 241 00:08:38,433 --> 00:08:40,333 - OH, YOU'VE GOT TO BE [bleep] ME. 242 00:08:40,333 --> 00:08:42,266 - DID THEY SEND ANY LETTERS, MAYBE? 243 00:08:42,266 --> 00:08:43,600 - NO. 244 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:46,433 WE'VE GOT THE CAKE THAT WAS SHIPPED FROM L.A. 245 00:08:46,433 --> 00:08:48,233 BETHENNY LOVES THEM. 246 00:08:48,233 --> 00:08:50,233 OPEN UP THE BOX... 247 00:08:50,233 --> 00:08:51,500 [chuckles] 248 00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:52,767 AND ALL I CAN THINK IS, "WHY?" 249 00:08:52,767 --> 00:08:56,233 LIKE, WHY, OF ALL THINGS, OF ALL TIMES, 250 00:08:56,233 --> 00:08:58,100 WHY DO I HAVE ANOTHER ISSUE WITH A CAKE? 251 00:08:58,100 --> 00:09:01,100 WE ARE GOING TO TAKE "BABY" OFF. 252 00:09:01,100 --> 00:09:03,734 WE'LL JUST DO THIS. - JUST "WELCOME BRYN." 253 00:09:03,734 --> 00:09:05,834 - "WELCOME BRYN" - MUCH BETTER. 254 00:09:05,834 --> 00:09:08,333 - AND IF THIS DOESN'T WORK, WE'LL USE SUPER GLUE. 255 00:09:11,934 --> 00:09:13,867 - OH, MY GOSH, IT'S NOT EVEN JUST PEELING OFF. 256 00:09:13,867 --> 00:09:15,700 - NO, IT'S NOT. - OH, MY GOSH. 257 00:09:15,700 --> 00:09:17,200 THINK WE COULD PLACE IT OVER IT? 258 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:21,467 - I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL I'M DOING. 259 00:09:21,467 --> 00:09:23,834 I NEED A COCKTAIL. 260 00:09:25,767 --> 00:09:28,100 WHAT DO YOU THINK? - I THINK IT LOOKS GOOD. 261 00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:30,266 - ♪♪ TA-DA ♪♪ 262 00:09:30,266 --> 00:09:32,300 LIKE THIS? - MM-HMM. 263 00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:34,166 both: WE DID IT. 264 00:09:34,166 --> 00:09:36,133 - THANK YOU. THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP. 265 00:09:36,133 --> 00:09:37,233 - YOU'RE WELCOME. - OKAY, 266 00:09:37,233 --> 00:09:38,900 NOW JUST DON'T DROP IT. - OH, GOSH. 267 00:09:38,900 --> 00:09:40,266 - AND MAKE SURE THE CARRIAGE DOESN'T FALL OFF THE TOP. 268 00:09:40,266 --> 00:09:41,533 - OKAY. - COMING UP... 269 00:09:41,533 --> 00:09:43,033 - I MEAN, YOU'RE UNBELIEVABLE. - NO. 270 00:09:43,033 --> 00:09:44,367 - I JUST AM TELLING YOU... - YOU'RE RIGHT. 271 00:09:44,367 --> 00:09:46,400 - LOOK AT THIS PICTURE. THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE. 272 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:47,834 - [sighs] 273 00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:01,834 - HI. 274 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,266 - YES, CHEERS. 275 00:10:05,266 --> 00:10:07,100 - LOVELY. - THAT'S SO NICE. 276 00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:08,667 - LOOK AT THESE CUPCAKES! 277 00:10:08,667 --> 00:10:11,100 - I HAVE IT RIGHT HERE. HOLD ON. 278 00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:13,233 - HI, HI. - HI. 279 00:10:13,233 --> 00:10:15,900 - I'M PROBABLY THE FIRST MOM TO EVER HAVE A BABY SHOWER 280 00:10:15,900 --> 00:10:17,166 WITH THE BABY ALREADY. 281 00:10:17,166 --> 00:10:18,800 I DIDN'T HEAR ABOUT THIS IN THE HANDBOOK. 282 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,934 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL THEY SAID ABOUT DOING THIS. 283 00:10:20,934 --> 00:10:24,500 HI. OH, EVERYONE LOOKS SO PRETTY IN THEIR SUNDRESSES. 284 00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:25,767 HI. - HI. 285 00:10:25,767 --> 00:10:28,433 - IRONICALLY, I BATHED FOR MY SHOWER. 286 00:10:28,433 --> 00:10:30,200 WOW, LOOK HOW PRETTY IT LOOKS. 287 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:32,066 - YEAH. - I LOVE THIS. 288 00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:33,567 OH, AND LOOK AT THE CUPCAKES! 289 00:10:33,567 --> 00:10:35,867 I'M HOPING THAT WE CAN HAVE A COCKTAIL 290 00:10:35,867 --> 00:10:38,633 AND TALK ABOUT SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE 291 00:10:38,633 --> 00:10:41,500 DIAPERS AND BOOBIES. 292 00:10:41,500 --> 00:10:43,100 THIS IS AWESOME. 293 00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:45,734 BRYN IS WITH GRANDPA AND JASON. 294 00:10:45,734 --> 00:10:47,567 YES, AND I'M LEAVING FOR CHICAGO FOR TWO DAYS, 295 00:10:47,567 --> 00:10:49,633 AND I'M FREAKING OUT. - IS IT YOUR FIRST TIME? 296 00:10:49,633 --> 00:10:52,100 - IT'S LESS, LIKE-- IT'S A LITTLE EMOTIONAL, 297 00:10:52,100 --> 00:10:55,300 BUT IT'S ALSO, LIKE, FULL...ANXIE--LIKE, MANIA. 298 00:10:55,300 --> 00:10:56,967 - SHE'LL BE FINE. - SHE'LL BE FINE. 299 00:10:56,967 --> 00:10:58,834 NOTHING'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN BEING A MOTHER, 300 00:10:58,834 --> 00:11:01,033 THAT I KNOW, BUT I'M NOT GIVING UP MY CAREER. 301 00:11:01,033 --> 00:11:03,033 I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BALANCE IT. 302 00:11:03,033 --> 00:11:04,400 I HAVEN'T FIGURED THAT OUT YET. 303 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,800 I'M KIND OF-- I'M HOLDING ON WITH BOTH HANDS. 304 00:11:10,233 --> 00:11:12,800 - I LOVE IT, EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF IT. 305 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:14,767 IT'S FABULOUS. 306 00:11:14,767 --> 00:11:16,800 - OH, MY GOD, THAT'S SO CUTE! 307 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:18,266 - OH, THAT IS CUTE. - THAT'S THE BEST. 308 00:11:18,266 --> 00:11:20,200 - THIS IS A LITTLE SIPPY CUP. 309 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:22,767 - [laughing] 310 00:11:22,767 --> 00:11:24,834 - CHEERS, BRYN. - CHEERS. 311 00:11:24,834 --> 00:11:28,400 - FABULOUS. TO MY GRANDDAUGHTER. 312 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:31,767 - YOU GET A GOOD DRINK TOO. 313 00:11:31,767 --> 00:11:33,367 IT'S A GOOD FLOW. - GET A GOOD DRINK? 314 00:11:33,367 --> 00:11:36,100 - YEAH... IT'S A GOOD FLOW. 315 00:11:36,100 --> 00:11:37,367 IF I PUT THE ONESIE ON, 316 00:11:37,367 --> 00:11:38,834 YOU KNOW I'VE HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK. 317 00:11:38,834 --> 00:11:40,500 - HOW'S THE BREASTFEEDING? 318 00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,100 - THE HARDEST THING I'VE EVER DONE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. 319 00:11:42,100 --> 00:11:43,333 BUT GOOD, BUT GOOD. 320 00:11:43,333 --> 00:11:44,633 BUT THE HARDEST THING I'VE EVER DONE. 321 00:11:44,633 --> 00:11:46,367 I LIKE IT A LOT BETTER THAN THE FORMULA 322 00:11:46,367 --> 00:11:48,467 BECAUSE THEY KNOW WHEN THEY WANNA STOP, 323 00:11:48,467 --> 00:11:50,467 AND THEY DON'T GET BURP-- WHO THE HELL AM I? 324 00:11:50,467 --> 00:11:52,100 I'M GONNA THROW UP ON MYSELF RIGHT NOW. 325 00:11:52,100 --> 00:11:53,467 THIS IS WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT? 326 00:11:53,467 --> 00:11:55,133 CAN WE TALK ABOUT MEN, OR PENIS SIZE, 327 00:11:55,133 --> 00:11:56,533 OR SOMETHING ELSE, PLEASE? 328 00:11:56,533 --> 00:11:58,367 - YOU WILL GO BACK TO TALKING ABOUT PENISES, 329 00:11:58,367 --> 00:12:00,700 BUT RIGHT NOW IT'S ABOUT BREASTS AND WHAT COMES OUT OF THEM. 330 00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:02,900 - ALL RIGHT. 331 00:12:02,900 --> 00:12:05,800 WELCOME TO MY BABY SHOWER. 332 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:08,033 - RIGHT, RIGHT. - ARE YOU HAVING SEX YET? 333 00:12:08,033 --> 00:12:11,266 - NO, I'M NOT HAVING SEX, AND JASON IS LIKE A RABBIT OUT-- 334 00:12:11,266 --> 00:12:12,767 - NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE SEX YET. 335 00:12:12,767 --> 00:12:15,166 - HE'S GONNA LIKE MOUNT ME THE SECOND THAT IT STARTS. 336 00:12:15,166 --> 00:12:16,467 I ACTUALLY SAID TO MY DOCTOR, 337 00:12:16,467 --> 00:12:17,834 I GO, "ARE WE ALLOWED TO HAVE SEX?" 338 00:12:17,834 --> 00:12:19,967 HE GOES, "NOT IN THERE." I GO, "OKAY, DR. GOLD." 339 00:12:19,967 --> 00:12:22,000 CAROL, SHE'S PROBABLY HORRIFIED 340 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,834 THAT HER SON IS MARRIED TO SOMEONE LIKE ME, 341 00:12:23,834 --> 00:12:25,367 BUT DELIGHTED AT THE SAME TIME. 342 00:12:25,367 --> 00:12:27,033 I FEEL LIKE I'M HER GUILTY PLEASURE. 343 00:12:27,033 --> 00:12:30,800 LIKE, SHE SECRETLY LIKES TO COME AND LIKE HEAR ME TALK 344 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:33,000 ABOUT ALL THE TERRIBLE, BLASPHEMOUS THINGS 345 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,633 THAT SHE CAN'T SAY, 'CAUSE SHE ACTUALLY GOES TO CHURCH. 346 00:12:35,633 --> 00:12:38,266 THAT'S SO CUTE. 347 00:12:38,266 --> 00:12:41,533 HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? 348 00:12:41,533 --> 00:12:43,100 IT PLAYS MUSIC. 349 00:12:43,100 --> 00:12:44,900 - ARE ANY BOYS ALLOWED? 350 00:12:44,900 --> 00:12:47,300 - OH, JASON! - HI, MOMMY. 351 00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:48,834 - LOOK WHAT-- LOOK WHAT EVERYBODY-- 352 00:12:48,834 --> 00:12:50,233 - GREAT. HI, GUYS. 353 00:12:50,233 --> 00:12:51,800 - LOOK AT THE SIPPY CUP. I'M DRINKING OUT OF IT. 354 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:52,967 - OH, MY GOD. - TAKE A SIP. 355 00:12:52,967 --> 00:12:54,100 - I KNOW THERE'S BOOZE IN THERE. 356 00:12:54,100 --> 00:12:55,734 all: [laughing] 357 00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:57,033 - NICE FLOW, RIGHT? 358 00:12:57,033 --> 00:12:58,633 - OH, THERE IS DEFINITELY BOOZE IN THERE. 359 00:12:58,633 --> 00:13:01,000 - HI. - NO BOYS ALLOWED HERE OR WHAT? 360 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,767 - HOW ARE YOU? BOYS ARE ALLOWED. 361 00:13:02,767 --> 00:13:06,066 - THESE ARE SO PRETTY. - HEY, EVERYBODY'S CHILLIN'. 362 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,567 - THAT'S REALLY SCARY. 363 00:13:11,567 --> 00:13:12,800 - HE'S STARING AT BRYN. 364 00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:15,333 I HAD A MOMENT OF PANIC THAT BRYN WAS HOME 365 00:13:15,333 --> 00:13:17,700 ALONE WITH JASON'S FATHER ONLY. 366 00:13:17,700 --> 00:13:19,667 JUST LIKE AN INSTINCT OF... 367 00:13:19,667 --> 00:13:21,200 OH, MY GOD, IS EVERYTHING OKAY? 368 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,400 AND THEN I REMEMBERED GINA WAS HOME. 369 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:26,700 - HE WAS NERVOUS. all: [laughing] 370 00:13:26,700 --> 00:13:29,066 - SHAWN, WHAT'S THE TREATMENT SCHEDULE? 371 00:13:29,066 --> 00:13:32,633 - WE'VE GOT THE MINI-MANIS, PEDIS, 372 00:13:32,633 --> 00:13:34,333 WHICH WE'RE GONNA BE DOING OUT HERE, 373 00:13:34,333 --> 00:13:36,567 AND THEN THEY CAN SORT OF CHOOSE THEIR MINI-TREATMENT 374 00:13:36,567 --> 00:13:38,266 OF WHAT THEY WANT DOWNSTAIRS. 375 00:13:38,266 --> 00:13:40,266 - OH, THEY CAN GET A FACIAL, OR MASSAGE, WHATEVER. 376 00:13:40,266 --> 00:13:41,633 - EXACTLY. - SO GET EVERYBODY ELSE 377 00:13:41,633 --> 00:13:43,066 TAKEN CARE OF FIRST, AND THEN I'LL BE LAST. 378 00:13:43,066 --> 00:13:44,100 - GREAT. 379 00:13:46,266 --> 00:13:49,567 [knocks] 380 00:13:49,567 --> 00:13:51,033 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 381 00:13:51,033 --> 00:13:52,934 - OH. [laughing] 382 00:13:52,934 --> 00:13:54,667 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW? 383 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,333 FIRST OF ALL, IT'S MY SHOWER, WHICH WE HAVEN'T MET-- 384 00:13:57,333 --> 00:13:59,667 YOU KNOW, I HAVEN'T SLEPT-- I AM--I'M IN THE WAITING ROOM 385 00:13:59,667 --> 00:14:01,367 'CAUSE I HAVEN'T GONE TO GET A MASSAGE YET, 386 00:14:01,367 --> 00:14:02,567 AND I HAVE THREE GUESTS IN THERE-- 387 00:14:02,567 --> 00:14:04,533 FEMALE GUESTS, WHO ARE MY GUESTS. 388 00:14:04,533 --> 00:14:06,500 DO YOU UNDERSTAND? YOU'RE MY INTERN, 389 00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:08,033 AND YOU'RE IN HERE GETTING A MASSAGE, 390 00:14:08,033 --> 00:14:10,333 AND PEOPLE ARE IN THE WAITING ROOM WAITING TO GET MASSAGES. 391 00:14:10,333 --> 00:14:11,967 - I'M TOTALLY SORRY. 392 00:14:11,967 --> 00:14:13,633 - I WANNA HEAR THIS. I DO WANNA HEAR THIS. 393 00:14:13,633 --> 00:14:15,300 - WELL, THE LADY WAS SAYING, LIKE, 394 00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:17,100 "DOES ANYBODY HERE WANNA GET MASSAGES?" 395 00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:18,567 - WELL, WOULDN'T YOU AS A MAN SAY, 396 00:14:18,567 --> 00:14:21,200 "DOES ANY OF BETHENNY'S GUESTS WANNA GET MASSAGES FIRST?" 397 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,200 - NO, I DID, I SAID, "IS THERE SOME SORT OF A LIST? 398 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,066 IS THERE SOME SORT OF," UM... 399 00:14:25,066 --> 00:14:26,800 YOU KNOW, "IS EVERYBODY ELSE GETTING MASSAGES FIRST?" 400 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:29,233 SHE SAID, "YEAH, YEAH, THEY'RE ALL ON THE LIST AS WELL. 401 00:14:29,233 --> 00:14:30,367 BUT YOU'RE MORE THAN WELCOME TO GET ONE TOO." 402 00:14:30,367 --> 00:14:33,066 - WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PERSON? 403 00:14:33,066 --> 00:14:34,433 WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? 404 00:14:34,433 --> 00:14:35,834 I MEAN, YOU'RE UNBELIEVABLE. 405 00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:37,300 I JUST--I'M TELLING YOU-- - YOU'RE RIGHT. 406 00:14:37,300 --> 00:14:38,867 - LOOK AT THIS PICTURE. THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE. 407 00:14:42,133 --> 00:14:44,800 - AND I'M LAYING THERE, THINKING... 408 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,100 DO I GET THE MASSAGE? 409 00:14:46,100 --> 00:14:47,533 I MEAN, I REALLY WANT THE MASSAGE. 410 00:14:47,533 --> 00:14:51,200 BETHENNY DIDN'T SAY NO, BUT AT THE SAME TIME, 411 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,500 THERE'S TIMES WHEN YOUR PARENTS SAY TO YOU, 412 00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:56,333 "I'M NOT GONNA SAY NO, 413 00:14:56,333 --> 00:14:59,400 BUT I EXPECT YOU TO MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION." 414 00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,800 ALL RIGHT, I WANT YOU TO JUST EXPLAIN 415 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:04,967 EXPLAIN TO BETHENNY THAT-- REMEMBER WHEN YOU ASKED ME, 416 00:15:04,967 --> 00:15:06,400 IF I SHOULD GET A MASSAGE? 417 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,233 I SAID TO YOU, LIKE, "IS THERE A LIST?" 418 00:15:08,233 --> 00:15:10,133 RIGHT? I SAID, "IS THERE A LIST?" 419 00:15:10,133 --> 00:15:12,100 YOU KNOW, "ARE THERE OTHER PEOPLE IN FRONT OF ME?" 420 00:15:12,100 --> 00:15:13,467 THINGS LIKE THAT, RIGHT? - RIGHT. 421 00:15:13,467 --> 00:15:14,567 - SO MAKE SURE WHEN-- 422 00:15:14,567 --> 00:15:15,967 - I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE AN INTERN, 423 00:15:15,967 --> 00:15:17,367 SO THAT'S THE ONLY THING. - I'M NOT AN INTERN, 424 00:15:17,367 --> 00:15:18,433 I'M HER ASSISTANT. - OH, ASSISTANT-- 425 00:15:18,433 --> 00:15:19,500 OH, REALLY? - PERSONAL. 426 00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:20,600 YES. - OKAY. 427 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:22,433 - I JUST KNOW THAT I WALKED IN HERE, 428 00:15:22,433 --> 00:15:23,967 AND MY GIRLFRIENDS ARE ALL WAITING 429 00:15:23,967 --> 00:15:25,533 AND HAVEN'T GOTTEN TREATMENTS YET, 430 00:15:25,533 --> 00:15:28,233 AND MY ASSISTANT IS IN THERE GETTING HIS-- 431 00:15:28,233 --> 00:15:29,967 EXCUSE ME, MA'AM-- ASS MASSAGED. 432 00:15:29,967 --> 00:15:31,867 - NO, YOU'RE TOTALLY RIGHT. YOU'RE 100% RIGHT. 433 00:15:31,867 --> 00:15:34,900 YOU SHOULD GO FIRST, AND YOU SHOULD GO FIRST, 434 00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:36,233 AND YOU SHOULD GO FIRST. 435 00:15:36,233 --> 00:15:37,533 - [giggles] - YOU ALL SHOULD GO FIRST. 436 00:15:37,533 --> 00:15:38,867 - THEY ALL KNOW, EVERYBODY HERE KNOWS WHO SHOULD-- 437 00:15:38,867 --> 00:15:40,266 THEY ALL--IT'S ALL-- WE KNOW. 438 00:15:40,266 --> 00:15:41,734 - YEAH, I THINK IT IS INAPPROPRIATE 439 00:15:41,734 --> 00:15:42,934 NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT. 440 00:15:42,934 --> 00:15:44,467 - I'M SORRY. SERIOUSLY, I'M SORRY. 441 00:15:44,467 --> 00:15:47,133 I GUESS I JUST MESSED UP. 442 00:15:47,133 --> 00:15:48,567 SORRY. GOOD-BYE, FOLKS. 443 00:15:48,567 --> 00:15:49,934 - IT'S ALL RIGHT. 444 00:15:58,667 --> 00:15:59,967 - I LOVE YOU. 445 00:15:59,967 --> 00:16:01,834 AND YOUR BELLY BUTTON'S COMING OFF SOON. 446 00:16:01,834 --> 00:16:02,900 BY THE TIME I GET BACK 447 00:16:02,900 --> 00:16:05,033 MAYBE YOUR BELLY BUTTON WILL COME OFF. 448 00:16:05,033 --> 00:16:07,200 BUT THEN I WON'T BE HERE. 449 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:08,667 THAT'S, LIKE, THE FIRST BIG MOMENT 450 00:16:08,667 --> 00:16:10,033 AS YOUR BELLY BUTTON COMES OFF. 451 00:16:10,033 --> 00:16:11,600 AND I DON'T WANNA MISS IT. 452 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:12,967 ON PAPER, IT SOUNDED LIKE 453 00:16:12,967 --> 00:16:15,266 EVERYTHING I'VE DONE FOR THE LAST FIVE YEARS-- 454 00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:16,900 GET ON A PLANE AND GO SOMEWHERE, 455 00:16:16,900 --> 00:16:18,533 AND COME BACK THE NEXT DAY. 456 00:16:18,533 --> 00:16:21,667 AND IN REALITY, IT'S JUST COMPLETE TRAUMA AND TERROR. 457 00:16:21,667 --> 00:16:23,667 AND I DON'T WANNA GO. 458 00:16:23,667 --> 00:16:25,967 - [crying] - I DON'T WANNA LEAVE HER. 459 00:16:25,967 --> 00:16:28,233 I DON'T WANNA GO. 460 00:16:28,233 --> 00:16:29,867 YOU KNOW, IN MY HEAD I THOUGHT IT WAS FINE, 461 00:16:29,867 --> 00:16:31,300 AND NOW I WANNA CRY. 462 00:16:31,300 --> 00:16:33,233 NOW I'M GONNA START-- I'M ABOUT TO START CRYING. 463 00:16:33,233 --> 00:16:34,633 - IT'LL BE OKAY. - I KNOW, BUT I DON'T WANNA GO. 464 00:16:34,633 --> 00:16:37,867 I WANNA BE THIS MOM, I WANNA STAY WITH HER FOREVER. 465 00:16:39,433 --> 00:16:41,033 THIS IS THE EASIEST BUSINESS TRIP 466 00:16:41,033 --> 00:16:42,567 THAT I WILL EVER HAVE TO DO. 467 00:16:42,567 --> 00:16:43,834 AND I CAN'T EVEN HANDLE IT. 468 00:16:43,834 --> 00:16:46,433 - DADDY'S HOME. 469 00:16:46,433 --> 00:16:48,266 WHAT'S WRONG? 470 00:16:48,266 --> 00:16:49,667 HUH? 471 00:16:49,667 --> 00:16:51,000 - I KNOW. IT LOOKS LIKE THAT. 472 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,567 - DON'T WORRY, MOMMY. - I KNOW. 473 00:16:53,567 --> 00:16:55,333 - YOU WANT ME TO HOLD HER WHILE YOU PACK, OR NO? 474 00:16:55,333 --> 00:16:57,233 - NO. 475 00:16:57,233 --> 00:16:59,633 - MOMMY'S SAD HER FIRST NIGHT AWAY. 476 00:16:59,633 --> 00:17:01,367 - I FELT LIKE A BABY THAT WAS BEING 477 00:17:01,367 --> 00:17:03,967 FORCED TO GO TO SCHOOL THE FIRST DAY. 478 00:17:03,967 --> 00:17:05,300 AND I DIDN'T WANNA GO. 479 00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:06,967 I DID NOT WANNA GET ON THAT BUS AND GO TO SCHOOL. 480 00:17:06,967 --> 00:17:08,433 [sniffs] 481 00:17:08,433 --> 00:17:10,266 BUT I DON'T--I KNOW, BUT I'M HAVING A BREAKDOWN. 482 00:17:10,266 --> 00:17:11,734 - I KNOW. - I'M CRYING 483 00:17:11,734 --> 00:17:14,033 ALL THE TIME LATELY, AND I'M SO UPSET, I DON'T WANNA GO. 484 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,800 - I KNOW YOU'RE EMOTIONAL. - NO, BUT I DON'T WANNA GO. 485 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:17,266 I REALLY DON'T WANNA. I DON'T KNOW WHY I DID THIS. 486 00:17:17,266 --> 00:17:19,200 I DON'T WANNA GO. [sniffs] 487 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:21,800 - I KNOW. WE'LL MISS YOU. 488 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:24,900 I JUST WANT BETHENNY TO KNOW THAT I CAN HANDLE IT. 489 00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:26,533 WE HAVE THE BABY NURSE. 490 00:17:26,533 --> 00:17:29,700 SO I'LL BE OKAY, AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT SHE'LL BE BACK. 491 00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:31,567 - I JUST FEEL-- - I KNOW. 492 00:17:31,567 --> 00:17:33,533 - STRESSED OUT, AND UNHEALTHY, AND CRAZY. 493 00:17:33,533 --> 00:17:35,800 LIKE, NOTHING'S CHANGED. 494 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:38,533 - WE'LL BE RIGHT HERE WHEN YOU GET BACK, RIGHT? 495 00:17:38,533 --> 00:17:42,133 MAMA, DON'T CRY. 496 00:17:42,133 --> 00:17:43,400 - [baby whimpers] 497 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:45,633 - I'M SO ANXIETY-RIDDEN, AND I JUST-- 498 00:17:45,633 --> 00:17:46,934 I DIDN'T WANNA DO IT. 499 00:17:46,934 --> 00:17:48,400 I DIDN'T WANNA GO, I DON'T WANNA GO, 500 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:49,867 I DON'T WANNA GO, I DON'T WANNA GO. 501 00:17:49,867 --> 00:17:54,233 - YOU ARE A STRONG, PHENOMENAL WOMAN AND MOM, OKAY? 502 00:17:54,233 --> 00:17:57,133 YOU'RE GONNA DO GREAT, YOU'RE GONNA DO WELL, ALL RIGHT? 503 00:17:57,133 --> 00:17:58,834 SHE'S WELL TAKEN CARE OF. 504 00:17:58,834 --> 00:18:00,467 - I KNOW, I KNOW. 505 00:18:00,467 --> 00:18:02,166 THANK YOU. - YOU'RE WELCOME. 506 00:18:02,166 --> 00:18:04,066 - OKAY, BYE. - BYE-BYE. BYE-BYE. 507 00:18:04,066 --> 00:18:05,333 - IT'S LIKE I'M GOING TO WAR, 508 00:18:05,333 --> 00:18:06,734 SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH ME, I REALLY DO. 509 00:18:06,734 --> 00:18:08,467 IT'S LIKE I'M GOING TO AFGHANISTAN. 510 00:18:08,467 --> 00:18:12,767 - OKAY. - I LOVE YOU. 511 00:18:12,767 --> 00:18:13,967 I LOVE YOU, MOM. 512 00:18:13,967 --> 00:18:15,567 - BYE. - HERE, KISSES. 513 00:18:15,567 --> 00:18:17,166 - BYE, PEANUT. - KISSES, KISSES. 514 00:18:17,166 --> 00:18:19,533 - BYE, MAMA. 515 00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:22,033 - SAY BYE TO MOMMY. - AW. 516 00:18:22,033 --> 00:18:23,533 - WE'LL MISS YOU, MOMMY. BE SAFE. 517 00:18:23,533 --> 00:18:26,100 CALL ME WHEN YOU LAND, ALL RIGHT? 518 00:18:31,033 --> 00:18:32,533 - COMING UP... 519 00:18:32,533 --> 00:18:34,000 - THAT'S LIKE A GAY MADRAS YARMULKE 520 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,834 - L'CHAIM. - YES, PERFECT. 521 00:18:48,467 --> 00:18:49,467 [dog yapping] 522 00:18:49,467 --> 00:18:51,767 - HI, MONKEY! 523 00:18:51,767 --> 00:18:53,867 - MOMMY'S HOME. - HI. 524 00:18:53,867 --> 00:18:55,433 - BRYN, MOMMY'S HOME. 525 00:18:55,433 --> 00:18:57,033 - I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW. I'M SORRY. 526 00:18:57,033 --> 00:18:58,767 I KNOW, WE DO LOVE YOU. 527 00:18:58,767 --> 00:19:00,066 - OKAY, GIVE COOKIE LOVING FIRST. 528 00:19:00,066 --> 00:19:02,266 GIVE COOKIE... - I AM A PSYCHOPATH 529 00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:04,367 THAT ALWAYS UNPACKS THE MINUTE I COME HOME. 530 00:19:04,367 --> 00:19:07,467 I DIDN'T UNPACK, I DIDN'T PASS GO, I DIDN'T COLLECT $200. 531 00:19:07,467 --> 00:19:10,567 I WENT STRAIGHT TO BRYN AND THE HUGGIES BEGAN. 532 00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:13,867 - HI, LITTLE BABY. - EVERYTHING'S GOOD NOW. 533 00:19:13,867 --> 00:19:16,867 MOMMY'S HOME. - [whimpers] 534 00:19:16,867 --> 00:19:19,400 - I DON'T WANNA WAKE HER UP, 'CAUSE THEN SHE'LL CRY. 535 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,467 - EVERYBODY'S BACK, COOKIE. 536 00:19:21,467 --> 00:19:26,100 - YOU'RE MY FURRY CHILD. 537 00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:28,133 I JUST FELT LIKE, AH. 538 00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:29,967 I FELT LIKE I WAS IN A SWADDLE. 539 00:19:29,967 --> 00:19:32,900 I FELT LIKE I WAS IN A LITTLE BLANKET, 540 00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:34,300 AND I JUST FELT SO HAPPY. 541 00:19:34,300 --> 00:19:35,734 - YOU'RE CRYING AGAIN? 542 00:19:35,734 --> 00:19:37,266 - NO, I CRY EVERYDAY. IT'S ALL I DO NOW. 543 00:19:37,266 --> 00:19:39,100 - WHY ARE YOU CRYING? - 'CAUSE ALL I DO IS CRY. 544 00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:42,734 - ARE THEY TEARS OF JOY? - THEY'RE JUST TEARS OF EMOTION. 545 00:19:42,734 --> 00:19:45,166 I JUST CRY FOR A LIVING NOW. 546 00:19:45,166 --> 00:19:48,333 - BUT YOU'RE HOME, YOU SHOULDN'T BE CRYING. 547 00:19:48,333 --> 00:19:49,900 - NO, BUT I'M HAPPY TO SEE YOU. - [cries] 548 00:19:49,900 --> 00:19:51,667 - SHE'S CRYING TOO. EVERYBODY'S CRYING. 549 00:19:51,667 --> 00:19:53,767 - COOKIE, ARE YOU CRYING TOO? 550 00:19:53,767 --> 00:19:55,066 - SHH. - HOW WAS YOUR TRIP? 551 00:19:55,066 --> 00:19:56,834 - IT WAS GOOD. - YEAH? 552 00:19:56,834 --> 00:19:58,667 - I'M NOT TRAVELING ANYMORE, I DON'T LIKE IT. 553 00:19:58,667 --> 00:20:00,433 - NEVER AGAIN? - I DON'T THINK SO. 554 00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:03,400 I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW. JUST RELAX, PEANUT. 555 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,033 THE MINUTE I STAND UP, 556 00:20:05,033 --> 00:20:07,033 I'M THROWING THAT ENTIRE BOOK IN THE GARBAGE. 557 00:20:07,033 --> 00:20:09,400 I AM. I JUST DON'T WANNA LOOK AT IT ANYMORE. 558 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:11,066 - IS IT GONNA BE CALLED THE SAME THING TOO? 559 00:20:11,066 --> 00:20:12,667 - IT IS, IT'S JUST GONNA BE DIFFERENT, 560 00:20:12,667 --> 00:20:14,800 AND IT'S A WHOLE NEW WORLD. 561 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:19,800 I WROTE THE BOOK BEFORE THE BIGGEST EXPERIENCES 562 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:21,166 OF MY ENTIRE LIFE HAPPENED. 563 00:20:21,166 --> 00:20:23,100 I'M A DIFFERENT PERSON NOW. 564 00:20:23,100 --> 00:20:24,667 - YOU DON'T SEEM STRESSED ABOUT IT, THAT'S GOOD. 565 00:20:24,667 --> 00:20:25,834 - I'M NOT STRESSED ABOUT IT AT ALL. 566 00:20:25,834 --> 00:20:27,233 I'M GONNA USE IT AS TOILET PAPER. 567 00:20:27,233 --> 00:20:28,500 - [chuckles] - I REALLY AM. 568 00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:29,834 IT'S VERY GREEN. 569 00:20:29,834 --> 00:20:31,300 - GONNA SAVE SOME MONEY ON TOILET PAPER. 570 00:20:31,300 --> 00:20:33,066 - GONNA WIPE MY BUTT AND YOURS WITH MY BOOK, 571 00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:35,300 'CAUSE THAT BOOK IS GARBAGE. 572 00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:38,233 - YAY! HOW SYMBOLIC IS THIS 573 00:20:38,233 --> 00:20:40,333 THAT WE ARE DONE ON THE DAY OF MY WEDDING? 574 00:20:40,333 --> 00:20:42,000 IT IS OVER! 575 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,333 YOU KNOW WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO? 576 00:20:43,333 --> 00:20:44,967 I'M GONNA--WHEN WE PUT HER DOWN... 577 00:20:44,967 --> 00:20:46,367 - MM-HMM? 578 00:20:46,367 --> 00:20:50,533 - I'M GONNA PUMP AND HAVE YOU FEED ME CHARDONNAY-- 579 00:20:50,533 --> 00:20:53,133 SAUVIGNON BLANC WITH A STRAW. - OH, OKAY. 580 00:20:53,133 --> 00:20:54,233 THAT'S NORMAL. 581 00:20:54,233 --> 00:20:56,867 VERY MOTHERLY. - I KNOW. 582 00:20:56,867 --> 00:20:59,133 - [whimpers] - WHAT ARE YOU AWAKE FOR? 583 00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:00,667 - [whimpers] 584 00:21:00,667 --> 00:21:02,266 - DO YOU THINK SHE'LL KEEP THE BLUE EYES? 585 00:21:02,266 --> 00:21:05,200 - I DON'T KNOW, BUT SHE'S THE PRETTIEST LITTLE BUNNY. 586 00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:07,200 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA BE FOR HALLOWEEN? 587 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:08,467 - [chuckles] 588 00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:10,367 - BUT I THINK SHE LOOKS LIKE A BUNNY. 589 00:21:10,367 --> 00:21:12,333 - I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA BE A FAMILY OF PANDAS. 590 00:21:12,333 --> 00:21:14,033 - WELL, I THOUGHT WE'D BE A FAMILY OF PANDAS. 591 00:21:14,033 --> 00:21:15,367 I THOUGHT THAT'D BE CUTE 592 00:21:15,367 --> 00:21:16,900 IF WE ALL DRESSED UP LIKE PANDAS, NO? 593 00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:19,133 - THEN WE CAN GO TO THE HALLOWEEN PARADE IN THE VILLAGE? 594 00:21:19,133 --> 00:21:20,800 - AND ALL BE PANDAS? - YEAH. 595 00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:22,400 - NO, WE'RE NOT GOING TO THE HALLOWEEN PARADE. 596 00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:24,033 IT'S LIKE A ZOO THERE. 597 00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:25,633 ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? 598 00:21:25,633 --> 00:21:27,233 LIKE, THE GAY PARADE WITH, LIKE, PEOPLE PARADING AROUND 599 00:21:27,233 --> 00:21:28,600 WITH THEIR SCHLONGS HANGING OUT? 600 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:30,000 AND, LIKE... - LISTEN. 601 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,133 - HI, BABY. - THERE'S NOT PEOPLE 602 00:21:32,133 --> 00:21:34,133 JUST WITH THEIR SCHLONGS-- - THERE'S A LOT OF SCHLONG, 603 00:21:34,133 --> 00:21:36,033 AND YOU KNOW IT. HI, LITTLE PEANUT. 604 00:21:36,033 --> 00:21:38,567 - IT'S A HALLOWEEN PARADE. - OF GAYS IN CHELSEA 605 00:21:38,567 --> 00:21:41,400 WEARING, LIKE, DOG COLLARS AND, LIKE, VILLAGE PEOPLE OUTFITS. 606 00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:44,133 - YEAH, BUT THEY'RE NOT EXPOSING THEMSELVES. 607 00:21:44,133 --> 00:21:45,600 - OH, YES, THEY ARE. [gasps] 608 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:48,734 - WELL... MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT. 609 00:21:58,867 --> 00:22:00,367 - HOW ARE YOU? 610 00:22:00,367 --> 00:22:01,700 - I'M GOOD. - YOU LOOK HAPPY. 611 00:22:01,700 --> 00:22:03,100 - I'M HAPPY. 612 00:22:03,100 --> 00:22:05,033 I'VE GOTTEN A COUPLE OF NIGHTS' SLEEP. 613 00:22:05,033 --> 00:22:06,967 - MM-HMM. - AND THAT'S, LIKE, GOLD. 614 00:22:06,967 --> 00:22:09,667 IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I CAN DO IT ALL. 615 00:22:09,667 --> 00:22:11,367 IF I CAN SLEEP, I CAN DO IT. 616 00:22:11,367 --> 00:22:15,200 I CAN BE A GOOD MOM, I CAN WORK, I CAN... 617 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,934 BUT THE SLEEP IS THE KEY. 618 00:22:17,934 --> 00:22:19,767 I LEFT, I WENT AWAY FOR TWO DAYS 619 00:22:19,767 --> 00:22:22,467 TO SHOOT A TELEVISION SHOW, AND THAT WAS ROUGH. 620 00:22:22,467 --> 00:22:24,200 - WAS THAT, YEAH? - IT WAS MORE-- 621 00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:26,333 IT WAS JUST TWO DAYS, BUT IT WAS JUST LEAVING HER, 622 00:22:26,333 --> 00:22:28,233 AND EVERYBODY BEING HOME, AND IT JUST-- 623 00:22:28,233 --> 00:22:31,467 YOU DON'T WANNA MISS ANYTHING. 624 00:22:31,467 --> 00:22:33,333 AND...IT WAS VERY EMOTIONAL. - HMM. 625 00:22:33,333 --> 00:22:34,967 YOU KNOW, WHEN WE FIRST MET, ONE OF THE THINGS 626 00:22:34,967 --> 00:22:36,333 YOU WANTED TO WORK ON WAS BALANCE. 627 00:22:36,333 --> 00:22:38,633 IS BRYN HELPING YOU, 628 00:22:38,633 --> 00:22:40,667 AND BEING MARRIED TO JASON HELPING YOU 629 00:22:40,667 --> 00:22:42,066 FIND THAT BALANCE? 630 00:22:42,066 --> 00:22:43,567 OR ARE YOU FEELING LIKE YOU'RE 631 00:22:43,567 --> 00:22:45,367 TOP OF THAT FIRST HILL ON A ROLLER COASTER, 632 00:22:45,367 --> 00:22:47,000 AND IT'S STARTING TO ACCELERATE AGAIN? 633 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,066 'CAUSE A LOT'S HAPPENING 634 00:22:48,066 --> 00:22:49,734 IN YOUR CAREER AND YOUR BUSINESS. 635 00:22:49,734 --> 00:22:52,633 - IN GENERAL, I'VE FELT FRUSTRATED AND CRIED. 636 00:22:52,633 --> 00:22:55,500 I CRIED A LITTLE OUT OF FRUSTRATION, NOT JOY 637 00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:59,333 ABOUT JUMPING BACK INTO IT AND WORKING LIKE CRAZY, 638 00:22:59,333 --> 00:23:00,834 AND HAVING HER. 639 00:23:00,834 --> 00:23:02,533 HOWEVER, WORKING OUT OF MY HOUSE 640 00:23:02,533 --> 00:23:03,734 REALLY DOES HELP. 641 00:23:03,734 --> 00:23:05,400 IT'S NOT LIKE I GO BACK TO A JOB 642 00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:07,066 THAT'S EIGHT HOURS A DAY. - RIGHT. 643 00:23:07,066 --> 00:23:08,834 - AND THAT CAN BE-- THAT WOULD BE TRAUMATIC. 644 00:23:08,834 --> 00:23:10,166 - RIGHT. 645 00:23:10,166 --> 00:23:11,433 - I WOULD TAKE THIS OVER THAT ANY DAY. 646 00:23:11,433 --> 00:23:13,533 SO I CAN RUN OUT TO COME TO THERAPY, 647 00:23:13,533 --> 00:23:15,000 GO BACK TO BE WITH THE BABY. 648 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:16,934 RUN OUT TO DO A TV INTERVIEW, 649 00:23:16,934 --> 00:23:18,433 GO BACK TWO HOURS TO BE-- 650 00:23:18,433 --> 00:23:20,333 SO I'M KIND OF FEELING LUCKY. 651 00:23:20,333 --> 00:23:21,934 - YEAH, I HAVE TO SAY THAT THE THINGS 652 00:23:21,934 --> 00:23:24,066 THAT YOU CAME IN HERE TO WORK ON... 653 00:23:24,066 --> 00:23:27,200 WHEN I LOOK AT THAT LIST AND I THINK ABOUT IT, 654 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:30,767 YOU KNOW, IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU'VE ACCOMPLISHED A LOT 655 00:23:30,767 --> 00:23:32,333 IN A SHORT TIME 656 00:23:32,333 --> 00:23:36,233 IN TERMS OF BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND YOURSELF BETTER 657 00:23:36,233 --> 00:23:39,233 AND, YOU KNOW, YOUR FEAR OF 658 00:23:39,233 --> 00:23:41,200 TAKING YOUR BAT AND BALL, AND LEAVING... 659 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:44,700 YOUR LIFE BEING OUT OF BALANCE... 660 00:23:44,700 --> 00:23:47,300 YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU'VE LEARNED SOME THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF. 661 00:23:47,300 --> 00:23:50,367 - I NEVER HAD SUCH A BIG REWARD 662 00:23:50,367 --> 00:23:53,033 FROM WORKING THROUGH SOMETHING AS I DID WITH JASON. 663 00:23:53,033 --> 00:23:54,533 I VERY EASILY... - MM-HMM. 664 00:23:54,533 --> 00:23:57,166 - COULD HAVE, AND ALMOST DID, WALK AWAY. 665 00:23:57,166 --> 00:23:58,700 JUST 'CAUSE IT'S JUST WHAT I KNOW. 666 00:23:58,700 --> 00:24:03,600 AND...IT WAS THE GREATEST REWARD EVER. 667 00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:06,166 I'M JUST SO HAPPY THAT I PUSHED THROUGH 668 00:24:06,166 --> 00:24:08,734 AND FOUGHT FOR THE RELATIONSHIP 669 00:24:08,734 --> 00:24:10,467 AND WE JUST WORKED THROUGH THINGS TOGETHER. 670 00:24:10,467 --> 00:24:11,900 REALLY. 671 00:24:11,900 --> 00:24:14,033 IT'S, LIKE, THE GREATEST THING I EVER DID FOR MYSELF. 672 00:24:14,033 --> 00:24:15,900 AND YOU KNOW, MAYBE... 673 00:24:15,900 --> 00:24:19,300 MAYBE IT'S JUST YOU'RE JUST ALLOWED TO BE THIS HAPPY, 674 00:24:19,300 --> 00:24:20,900 BECAUSE MAYBE I JUST CREATED IT FOR MYSELF. 675 00:24:20,900 --> 00:24:22,233 - YOU MAKE YOUR OWN LUCK, I THINK. 676 00:24:22,233 --> 00:24:23,600 - YOU KNOW, YOU MAKE YOUR OWN LUCK. 677 00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:25,700 I MEAN, I WAS VERY UNHAPPY FOR A REALLY LONG TIME, 678 00:24:25,700 --> 00:24:27,700 SO MAYBE... - MM-HMM. 679 00:24:27,700 --> 00:24:29,200 - I GET PAID ON THE BACK END. 680 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:30,433 - YUP. WELL, YOU WALKED IN HERE 681 00:24:30,433 --> 00:24:33,867 ALREADY AWARE OF YOUR MINEFIELDS. 682 00:24:33,867 --> 00:24:35,033 I MEAN, YOU REALLY DID. 683 00:24:35,033 --> 00:24:36,233 - MM-HMM. - ENGAGED THREE TIMES, 684 00:24:36,233 --> 00:24:38,500 I, YOU KNOW--I RUN. 685 00:24:38,500 --> 00:24:39,800 - AND I FELT LIKE RUNNING. 686 00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:41,433 - YOU BROUGHT THAT TO THE TABLE, I DIDN'T. 687 00:24:41,433 --> 00:24:43,767 - MAYBE I JUST FOUGHT THROUGH ALL OF THAT 688 00:24:43,767 --> 00:24:47,333 TO GET TO THIS PLACE. 689 00:24:47,333 --> 00:24:49,266 NOT MAYBE. I MEAN, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED. 690 00:24:49,266 --> 00:24:50,767 - MM-HMM. - SO...IT'S OKAY. 691 00:24:50,767 --> 00:24:52,367 IF YOU RUN A MARATHON, WHEN YOU'RE DONE, 692 00:24:52,367 --> 00:24:55,400 YOU CAN JUST RACE THROUGH THE RIBBON, 693 00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:57,100 AND JUST CELEBRATE, SO... 694 00:24:57,100 --> 00:24:58,367 - REAP THE BENEFITS. 695 00:24:58,367 --> 00:24:59,900 - IT'S GOOD STUFF. 696 00:25:03,767 --> 00:25:07,600 [light horn honking] 697 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:10,367 - I'M VERY CONCERNED ABOUT THIS DRESS RIGHT NOW. 698 00:25:10,367 --> 00:25:11,800 - WHY? 699 00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:13,266 - BECAUSE I'M BUSTING OUT OF IT. 700 00:25:13,266 --> 00:25:15,133 I'LL BE HAPPY TO BREASTFEED YOU 701 00:25:15,133 --> 00:25:18,100 IF IT BECOMES NECESSARY DURING THIS OUTING. 702 00:25:18,100 --> 00:25:19,900 YOU CAN TAP THE KEG. 703 00:25:19,900 --> 00:25:21,533 - ALL RIGHT, SO WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE? 704 00:25:21,533 --> 00:25:23,834 - OUR TAXES. WHAT ARE WE DOING? 705 00:25:23,834 --> 00:25:25,467 WE'RE GOING--WE'RE LOOKING FOR CHILDREN'S CLOTHES. 706 00:25:25,467 --> 00:25:28,633 OH, MY GOD! LOOK HOW CUTE THAT IS FOR THE HAMPTONS. 707 00:25:28,633 --> 00:25:31,166 I DEFINITELY NEED A CHILDREN'S CLOTHES CONSULTANT. 708 00:25:31,166 --> 00:25:32,867 - I THOUGHT THAT'S WHY I WAS HERE. 709 00:25:32,867 --> 00:25:37,333 - OH, DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT CHILDREN'S CLOTHES? 710 00:25:37,333 --> 00:25:38,934 OH, HI! HOW ARE YOU? 711 00:25:38,934 --> 00:25:40,200 NICE TO MEET YOU. - NICE TO MEET YOU TOO. 712 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:41,967 - THIS IS MAX. - HI, NICE TO MEET YOU. 713 00:25:41,967 --> 00:25:43,266 - HOW ARE YOU? - SO I HAVE A BABY. 714 00:25:43,266 --> 00:25:44,667 - OKAY. - WHAT DO NORMAL PEOPLE DO? 715 00:25:44,667 --> 00:25:46,433 THEY COME IN HERE AND THEY GET CLOTHES FOR WHAT AGE? 716 00:25:46,433 --> 00:25:47,867 - ZERO TO THREE MONTHS. - BUT DON'T THEY WANNA, LIKE, 717 00:25:47,867 --> 00:25:49,367 GET SOME STUFF FOR A LITTLE LATER? 718 00:25:49,367 --> 00:25:51,166 - LIKE SOME OF THE DRESSES WOULD BE GREAT FOR NOW. 719 00:25:51,166 --> 00:25:53,900 - LET'S DO NOW. AND THEN LET'S DO LATER. 720 00:25:53,900 --> 00:25:55,300 IS THIS NOW? - THAT'S-- 721 00:25:55,300 --> 00:25:57,033 - HOW OLD IS THIS BABY? - ZERO TO THREE. 722 00:25:57,033 --> 00:25:58,867 - THIS I HAVE TO HAVE. - OKAY. 723 00:25:58,867 --> 00:26:00,967 - AND THEN... - I'LL BE THE CARRIER. 724 00:26:00,967 --> 00:26:02,533 - HOW MANY HATS SHOULD A BABY HAVE? 725 00:26:02,533 --> 00:26:04,367 - SHOULDN'T WE GET THE MATCHING HAT TO THAT OUTFIT? 726 00:26:04,367 --> 00:26:06,467 - THAT WOULD BE VERY CUTE. THINK IT WOULD FIT? 727 00:26:06,467 --> 00:26:08,133 - SHE'S WEARING THIS IN THE HAMPTONS. 728 00:26:08,133 --> 00:26:10,200 - IT'S LIKE A GAY MADRAS YARMULKE. 729 00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:12,500 - L'CHAIM! - YES, PERFECT. 730 00:26:12,500 --> 00:26:14,667 AND BY THE WAY, I LIKE HOW YOU WORE CLOTHES TO MATCH ME. 731 00:26:14,667 --> 00:26:18,066 WE LOOK LIKE, SERIOUSLY, THE EASTER BUNNY, OKAY. 732 00:26:18,066 --> 00:26:19,767 - RIGHT, THAT'S FUN. - WE LOOK LIKE A PASTEL 733 00:26:19,767 --> 00:26:22,200 NAUSEATING COMP--COUPLE. 734 00:26:23,834 --> 00:26:25,266 THE PRICES ARE REALLY REASONABLE. 735 00:26:25,266 --> 00:26:27,000 I MEAN, $5 FOR ANYTHING? 736 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:28,667 - $5, YEAH. - YOU CAN'T GET A LATTE FOR $5. 737 00:26:28,667 --> 00:26:30,033 IT'S A PAIR OF PANTS. - YEAH. 738 00:26:30,033 --> 00:26:31,600 - WELL, IT'S A VERY SMALL PAIR OF PANTS. 739 00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:32,767 - IT'S STILL A PAIR OF PANTS. 740 00:26:32,767 --> 00:26:34,033 I MEAN, THIS IS $5. 741 00:26:34,033 --> 00:26:35,700 YOU CAN'T GET ANYTHING FOR $5. 742 00:26:35,700 --> 00:26:37,133 - WHAT'S THE DEAL FOR THE REST OF THE DAY? 743 00:26:37,133 --> 00:26:39,667 - I HAVE A PHONE INTERVIEW, A TV INTERVIEW, 744 00:26:39,667 --> 00:26:41,800 TO EDIT THE BOOK, AND THEN I HAVE TO 745 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:43,467 WRITE A COLUMN FOR HEALTH MAGAZINE. 746 00:26:43,467 --> 00:26:45,333 THERE'S NO MATERNITY LEAVE IN MY LIFE. 747 00:26:45,333 --> 00:26:47,200 - THE IRON'S JUST GETTING HOT NOW, YOU GOTTA-- 748 00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:49,600 - YEAH, THE IRON'S VERY HOT NOW, AND I--EXACTLY. 749 00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:51,066 ALL RIGHT, SO WHAT ELSE? 750 00:26:51,066 --> 00:26:52,667 ARE YOU EXCITED TO GO TO MONTAUK? 751 00:26:52,667 --> 00:26:54,300 - YEAH, I'VE NEVER BEEN TO THE HAMPTONS BEFORE. 752 00:26:54,300 --> 00:26:55,600 - YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TO THE HAMPTONS? 753 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:57,033 - NEVER. - MONTAUK IS SORT OF LIKE 754 00:26:57,033 --> 00:26:58,800 THE ANTI-HAMPTONS OF THE HAMPTONS. 755 00:26:58,800 --> 00:26:59,967 IT'S A LITTLE MORE CHILL. 756 00:26:59,967 --> 00:27:01,433 MY DOCTOR SAID I CAN EXERCISE, 757 00:27:01,433 --> 00:27:02,834 I WONDER IF I CAN TAKE A SURFING LESSON NOW. 758 00:27:02,834 --> 00:27:04,467 - THEY HAVE WAVES OUT THERE? 759 00:27:04,467 --> 00:27:06,867 - THAT'S MONTAUK. IT'S TOTALLY, LIKE, WHERE SURFING HAPPENS. 760 00:27:06,867 --> 00:27:08,367 - YOU SURF? - I MEAN, 761 00:27:08,367 --> 00:27:10,033 WE COULD HIGH-FIVE ABOUT IT, I'M NOT THAT GOOD. 762 00:27:10,033 --> 00:27:11,533 - NEITHER AM I, BUT IT WILL BE SO MUCH FUN. 763 00:27:11,533 --> 00:27:12,967 WE'LL SURF. - I LOVE MONTAUK 764 00:27:12,967 --> 00:27:14,867 BECAUSE IT'S JUST REALLY DIFFERENT. 765 00:27:14,867 --> 00:27:16,400 YOU REALLY FEEL LIKE YOU'RE AWAY. 766 00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:18,533 IT'S A VERY FAMILY PLACE. 767 00:27:18,533 --> 00:27:21,633 WE STAY AT THIS VILLA AT THE MONTAUK YACHT CLUB. 768 00:27:21,633 --> 00:27:23,900 AND...IT'S TIME. 769 00:27:23,900 --> 00:27:25,200 WE NEED IT. 770 00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:27,333 OKAY, WE DID IT. WE GOT IT. 771 00:27:27,333 --> 00:27:28,934 - WE DID IT. - HIGH FIVE. 772 00:27:28,934 --> 00:27:30,633 THE BABY HAS CLOTHES. 773 00:27:30,633 --> 00:27:32,500 OUR WORK IS DONE. 774 00:27:32,500 --> 00:27:33,734 COMING UP... 775 00:27:33,734 --> 00:27:35,266 - THIS IS THE TIP OF LONG ISLAND? 776 00:27:35,266 --> 00:27:37,033 - JASON'S FAVORITE GAME IS CALLED "JUST THE TIP." 777 00:27:37,033 --> 00:27:38,166 - [chuckles] 778 00:27:42,967 --> 00:27:44,533 - JASON'S FAVORITE GAME IS CALLED "JUST THE TIP." 779 00:27:44,533 --> 00:27:46,767 - YOU PUT THIS TOGETHER? - YEAH. 780 00:27:46,767 --> 00:27:48,367 - SO THE CAR SEAT GOES IN THIS? 781 00:27:48,367 --> 00:27:49,967 WHERE'S THE CAR-- THAT IS THE CAR SEAT? 782 00:27:49,967 --> 00:27:51,233 - THIS IS THE CAR SEAT. 783 00:27:51,233 --> 00:27:52,300 - SO THAT SHOULD STAY IN THE CAR. 784 00:27:52,300 --> 00:27:54,533 - NO, NO, NO. SEE, YOU'RE WRONG. 785 00:27:54,533 --> 00:27:55,667 - WE GET TO THE RESTAURANT, 786 00:27:55,667 --> 00:27:56,734 AND WE BRING THAT IN THE RESTAURANT, 787 00:27:56,734 --> 00:27:58,166 AND SHE STAYS IN THERE? 788 00:27:58,166 --> 00:27:59,667 YES. 789 00:27:59,667 --> 00:28:01,400 - OH, I-I-I DON'T KNOW. 790 00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:02,834 - GINA! 791 00:28:02,834 --> 00:28:04,500 - YEAH, MA'AM. - OKAY, SO... 792 00:28:04,500 --> 00:28:06,033 IN THREE WEEKS, WE'RE GOING TO BRUNCH 793 00:28:06,033 --> 00:28:07,266 ON THE UPPER WEST SIDE, 794 00:28:07,266 --> 00:28:08,734 AND WE WANNA SIT IN A RESTAURANT. 795 00:28:08,734 --> 00:28:10,900 WHAT DO WE TAKE? - YOU CAN GO WITH THE BUGABOO. 796 00:28:10,900 --> 00:28:12,300 OR YOU CAN GO WITH THIS, IF YOU WANT TO. 797 00:28:12,300 --> 00:28:13,900 - THIS HAS TO BE USED WITH THIS CAR SEAT? 798 00:28:13,900 --> 00:28:15,200 - THIS IS ALL TOO CONFUSING. 799 00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:16,667 - NO, IT'S NOT. WE'RE GONNA GET IT IN A MINUTE. 800 00:28:16,667 --> 00:28:18,200 - NOT NECESSARILY. - 'CAUSE WE DON'T NEED 801 00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:20,066 THE CAR SEAT IF WE'RE NOT USING THE CAR. 802 00:28:20,066 --> 00:28:21,367 - YOU DON'T NECESSARILY HAVE TO USE THE CAR SEAT. 803 00:28:21,367 --> 00:28:22,734 - SHE HAS TO BE IN A DEVICE AT ALL TIMES? 804 00:28:22,734 --> 00:28:24,100 - YES. - IF SHE'S NOT IN THIS HOUSE. 805 00:28:24,100 --> 00:28:26,533 - MM-HMM. - ALL RIGHT. 806 00:28:26,533 --> 00:28:28,734 - I'M TAKING MY STROLLER, AND I'M OUT OF HERE. 807 00:28:28,734 --> 00:28:30,600 - OKAY. - QUITE MASCULINE. 808 00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:32,133 - IT IS, IT'S A BLACK DIAPER BAG. 809 00:28:32,133 --> 00:28:34,433 - YEAH, THIS WHOLE THING IS MASCULINE. 810 00:28:34,433 --> 00:28:36,266 - LET ME TAKE MY HANGERS TOO. 811 00:28:36,266 --> 00:28:37,867 SEE YOU GUYS. 812 00:28:37,867 --> 00:28:39,066 JESUS. 813 00:28:48,767 --> 00:28:50,100 - ARE YOU GUYS READY? LET'S DO IT. 814 00:28:50,100 --> 00:28:52,367 - SHE'S DOWN TO SLEEP. - HERE, LET ME HELP. 815 00:28:52,367 --> 00:28:55,200 - AND THEN THAT CAN GO IN YOURS. 816 00:28:57,500 --> 00:28:58,834 - YEAH. - YOU GOTTA GET A MINIVAN. 817 00:28:58,834 --> 00:29:01,834 - HOW DO PEOPLE DO THIS? PEOPLE DO THIS? 818 00:29:03,300 --> 00:29:04,500 AND THAT'S IT? WE'RE IN? 819 00:29:04,500 --> 00:29:06,500 - THIS IS YOUR FIRST CAR TRIP. 820 00:29:06,500 --> 00:29:09,000 THIS IS OUR FIRST FAMILY TRIP. 821 00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:12,233 FAMILY ROAD TRIP. BRYN'S FIRST ROAD TRIP. 822 00:29:12,233 --> 00:29:15,000 SO WE'RE EXCITED. [dog yaps] 823 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:17,133 WE'RE TERRIFIED OF ALL THE STUFF. 824 00:29:17,133 --> 00:29:20,367 WE HAVE TO BRING STROLLERS, PACK 'N PLAYS, 825 00:29:20,367 --> 00:29:23,300 THE BABY NURSE, THE BABY, THE CAR SEAT... 826 00:29:23,300 --> 00:29:25,000 I MEAN, WE HAVE SO MUCH CRAP, 827 00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:26,367 WE HAVE TO TAKE TWO CARS. 828 00:29:26,367 --> 00:29:28,467 LET'S DO IT, MAX. - CAN YOU EAT THAT? 829 00:29:28,467 --> 00:29:29,967 'CAUSE IT MADE THE CAR SMELL. 830 00:29:29,967 --> 00:29:32,000 - I'VE NEVER--NEVER BEEN LIKE, "OOH, THE CAR SMELLS BAD." 831 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:33,400 IT SMELLS LIKE BROCCOLI." I'VE BEEN LIKE, "WOW. 832 00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:35,000 THE CAR SMELLS GOOD. IT SMELLS LIKE BROCCOLI." 833 00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:36,467 - I WONDER HOW THEY GET ALONG. 834 00:29:36,467 --> 00:29:37,867 LIKE, WHAT GOES ON WITH THEM ON THEIR OWN, 835 00:29:37,867 --> 00:29:39,567 LIKE, IN THE CAR. LIKE, WHAT HAPPENS. 836 00:29:39,567 --> 00:29:40,867 LIKE, IF HE'S JUST ANNOYING HER 837 00:29:40,867 --> 00:29:43,600 OR IF SHE'S GROWING TO LOVE HIM. 838 00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:44,800 NO, HE'S NOT. 839 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:47,467 WE THINK YOU HAVE A SECRET CRUSH ON MAX. 840 00:29:50,900 --> 00:29:53,433 YOU'RE A BORE. WAKE YOUR BOOTY UP. 841 00:29:53,433 --> 00:29:55,367 THAT GIRL IS BORING TO TAKE ON A CAR ROAD TRIP. 842 00:29:55,367 --> 00:29:57,600 - WHEN SHE CRIES AT NIGHT, MOMMY GETS SAD. 843 00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:00,400 - MM-HMM. 844 00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:02,033 - YOU HAVE TO LET HER CRY. - NO! 845 00:30:02,033 --> 00:30:03,233 - YES. - BUT MOMMY, YOU HAVE TO-- 846 00:30:03,233 --> 00:30:04,300 - NO! - YOU HAVE TO. 847 00:30:04,300 --> 00:30:05,400 - NO, NO. - YOU MUST. 848 00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:07,033 - NO, I DON'T LIKE THE CRYING. 849 00:30:07,033 --> 00:30:09,333 WELL, THERE'S A NEWS FLASH. JASON'S COOL WITH THE CRYING. 850 00:30:09,333 --> 00:30:10,533 I DON'T LIKE IT. 851 00:30:10,533 --> 00:30:11,867 I DON'T--IT'S NOT ACCEPTABLE, 852 00:30:11,867 --> 00:30:13,700 I DON'T WANT IT TO HAPPEN. I WANT IT TO GO AWAY. 853 00:30:13,700 --> 00:30:15,900 I WANT THERE TO BE NO CRYING IN BASEBALL. 854 00:30:15,900 --> 00:30:17,066 THERE'S NO CRYING. 855 00:30:17,066 --> 00:30:18,433 - WHEN BETHENNY WAS PREGNANT, 856 00:30:18,433 --> 00:30:20,867 SHE TOLD ME HOW SHE WAS GOING TO BE THE TOUGH ONE. 857 00:30:20,867 --> 00:30:23,000 NOW SHE'S NOT SO TOUGH. - I AM, BUT NOT ABOUT CRYING. 858 00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:25,700 - WELL, THAT'S-- 859 00:30:25,700 --> 00:30:27,266 - NO. 860 00:30:27,266 --> 00:30:29,433 - YOU HAVE TO--NO, YOU HAVE TO-- - NO. 861 00:30:29,433 --> 00:30:31,633 - BUILD YOUR SYSTEM TO WITHSTAND. 862 00:30:31,633 --> 00:30:32,834 - NO. 863 00:30:32,834 --> 00:30:34,233 NO! - [baby cries] 864 00:30:34,233 --> 00:30:35,767 - NO, NO! 865 00:30:35,767 --> 00:30:37,367 - SEE, SAYING SHE'S BORING. SHE'LL SHOW YOU. 866 00:30:37,367 --> 00:30:38,667 - MM-HMM. 867 00:30:38,667 --> 00:30:40,567 - WHEN BRYN CRIES, IT FEELS LIKE A CONTRACTION. 868 00:30:40,567 --> 00:30:42,266 MY WHOLE BODY CLENCHES UP, 869 00:30:42,266 --> 00:30:43,600 AND I SAY, "JUST GOTTA MAKE IT STOP. 870 00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:44,667 [mumbling] STOP, STOP, STOP." 871 00:30:44,667 --> 00:30:46,233 I HATE IT. 872 00:30:46,233 --> 00:30:49,000 I HATE IT WITH EVERY OUNCE OF MY BEING. 873 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:50,667 - [crying] 874 00:30:50,667 --> 00:30:52,133 - BUT I DON'T... OKAY. 875 00:30:52,133 --> 00:30:54,133 OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. 876 00:30:54,133 --> 00:30:56,367 I DON'T WANT HER TO CRY OUT LOUD LIKE THIS IN THE CAR, 877 00:30:56,367 --> 00:30:57,867 'CAUSE THEN SHE'S HELPLESS. 878 00:30:57,867 --> 00:31:00,133 I DON'T LIKE THAT SHE'S A PRISONER IN A CAR SEAT. 879 00:31:00,133 --> 00:31:01,500 SHE'S HYSTERICALLY CRYING, AND IT'S LIKE... 880 00:31:01,500 --> 00:31:03,633 [scoffs] 881 00:31:03,633 --> 00:31:06,367 I DON'T LIKE IT EITHER. - [crying] 882 00:31:06,367 --> 00:31:09,000 - OKAY, DADDY'S-- DADDY'S GONNA PULL OVER. 883 00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:10,700 - SORRY. - CALL JULIE 884 00:31:10,700 --> 00:31:13,633 AND TELL HER TO PULL OVER WITH US. 885 00:31:13,633 --> 00:31:15,166 [crying quiets] 886 00:31:15,166 --> 00:31:19,834 MAYBE WE'RE GOOD. - SHH. 887 00:31:19,834 --> 00:31:21,500 - [whispers] WHAT HAPPENED? 888 00:31:21,500 --> 00:31:26,500 - SHH. 889 00:31:26,500 --> 00:31:28,633 I DON'T KNOW HOW EVERYBODY DOES IT. 890 00:31:28,633 --> 00:31:30,967 - HOW ARE YOU GONNA BE WHEN GINA TAKES TWO DAYS OFF? 891 00:31:30,967 --> 00:31:32,667 - GREAT. - WHAT, 892 00:31:32,667 --> 00:31:34,266 ARE WE GONNA PUT HER ON MY SIDE OF THE BED 893 00:31:34,266 --> 00:31:35,834 OR YOUR SIDE OF THE BED? - MINE. 894 00:31:35,834 --> 00:31:38,800 'CAUSE I'LL CLIMB OVER YOU AND PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE. 895 00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:40,467 - I DON'T HAVE THE CRIB. - PACK 'N PLAY. 896 00:31:40,467 --> 00:31:42,100 - WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BRING THE BASSINET. 897 00:31:42,100 --> 00:31:44,300 YOU GUYS DIDN'T PACK IT? - WE DISCUSSED WE WERE BRINGING 898 00:31:44,300 --> 00:31:46,300 THE PACK 'N PLAY-SLASH-SLEEP. - WHO'S "WE?" 899 00:31:46,300 --> 00:31:48,033 WHO'S "WE DISCUSSED IT?" - ME--COOKIE AND I 900 00:31:48,033 --> 00:31:49,600 HAD A LONG CONVERSATION ABOUT IT. 901 00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:52,100 I SAID TO YOU THAT YOU WERE RIGHT, THAT WAS A PACK 'N PLAY. 902 00:31:52,100 --> 00:31:53,467 - YEAH, BUT YOU DIDN'T SAY WE WERE 903 00:31:53,467 --> 00:31:55,000 BRINGING IT TO THE HAMPTONS. 904 00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:56,667 FOR REAL, YOU DIDN'T SAY THAT. - I KNOW. 905 00:31:56,667 --> 00:31:58,767 'CAUSE WE'RE JUST-- 906 00:31:58,767 --> 00:32:00,734 WE'RE THE WORST PARENTS IN THE WORLD. 907 00:32:00,734 --> 00:32:03,233 EVERY PIECE OF STUFF THIS SIDE OF THE MASON-DIXON, 908 00:32:03,233 --> 00:32:05,934 WAS IN THAT DAMN CAR. BUT YET, IT WASN'T. 909 00:32:05,934 --> 00:32:09,100 THERE'S STILL MORE CRAP THAT WE DIDN'T BRING. 910 00:32:09,100 --> 00:32:12,166 - OH, MY GOD, WE FORGOT A CRIB. 911 00:32:12,166 --> 00:32:13,767 - HI, WE'RE ALL IDIOTS. 912 00:32:13,767 --> 00:32:15,066 CAN YOU CALL THE HOTEL AND SEE IF THEY 913 00:32:15,066 --> 00:32:16,667 HAVE A CRIB OR A PACK 'N PLAY? 914 00:32:16,667 --> 00:32:18,333 WE FORGOT TO PACK SOMETHING FOR THE BABY TO SLEEP IN, 915 00:32:18,333 --> 00:32:20,400 BESIDES A GARBAGE CAN. 916 00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:22,433 - OUR FIRST TRIP, AND WE SCREWED UP. 917 00:32:22,433 --> 00:32:23,834 - [gasps] - WHAT? 918 00:32:23,834 --> 00:32:25,533 - I FORGOT MY BREAST FRIEND. 919 00:32:25,533 --> 00:32:30,433 IT IS A BREAST-FEEDING PLATFORM, 920 00:32:30,433 --> 00:32:33,200 POSTURE HELPER. 921 00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:35,333 IT IS YOUR BREAST FRIEND. 922 00:32:35,333 --> 00:32:38,266 - THAT'S TWO THINGS. WE'RE--WE'RE THE WORST. 923 00:32:38,266 --> 00:32:41,100 - I FORGOT MY BREAST FRIEND! - I MEAN, THAT IS CRITICAL. 924 00:32:41,100 --> 00:32:43,166 - I'M A BAD FRIEND. I'M A BAD FRIEND. 925 00:32:43,166 --> 00:32:44,900 THAT'S WHY THAT THING IS THE BREAST FRIEND, 926 00:32:44,900 --> 00:32:46,300 AND I'M JUST THE FRIEND. 927 00:32:46,300 --> 00:32:49,166 'CAUSE I LEFT THAT BREAST FRIEND FOR DEAD. 928 00:32:49,166 --> 00:32:52,233 LISTEN, OTHER PEOPLE HAVE BREAST FED FOR YEARS WITHOUT THAT. 929 00:32:52,233 --> 00:32:54,633 YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS GO BACK TO PEOPLE IN THE BUSH. 930 00:32:54,633 --> 00:32:56,533 I TEND TO LIKE TO REFERENCE PEOPLE IN THE BUSH. 931 00:32:56,533 --> 00:32:58,867 PEOPLE IN THE BUSH DON'T HAVE A BREAST FRIEND. 932 00:32:58,867 --> 00:33:00,300 IT'S FINE. 933 00:33:00,300 --> 00:33:01,800 THE BABY DOESN'T NEED TO SLEEP OR EAT, SO... 934 00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:03,500 NOT VERY NECESSARY ITEMS. 935 00:33:03,500 --> 00:33:05,333 - WHOO-HOO! 936 00:33:05,333 --> 00:33:06,667 - THIS IS WHERE MOMMY CAME 937 00:33:06,667 --> 00:33:07,967 WHEN SHE FOUND OUT SHE WAS PREGNANT. 938 00:33:07,967 --> 00:33:09,767 HAD A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. 939 00:33:09,767 --> 00:33:12,400 - MONTAUK HAS REALLY BEEN OUR SUMMER GETAWAY. 940 00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:15,066 AND WE'VE HAD SO MANY BEAUTIFUL WEEKENDS 941 00:33:15,066 --> 00:33:17,300 AT THE MONTAUK YACHT CLUB. WE LOVE IT THERE. 942 00:33:17,300 --> 00:33:19,934 IT'S COMPLETELY REMOVED FROM ALL THE CRAZINESS, 943 00:33:19,934 --> 00:33:21,600 FROM ALL THE PRETENTIOUSNESS, 944 00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:24,533 AND WE CAN JUST... RELAX. 945 00:33:24,533 --> 00:33:26,734 - LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. - YES? 946 00:33:26,734 --> 00:33:28,200 - THIS IS THE TIP OF LONG ISLAND? 947 00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:30,400 - MONTAUK IS THE TIP. - MONTAUK IS THE TIP. 948 00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:32,900 - IT'S JASON'S FAVORITE GAME. IT'S CALLED "JUST THE TIP." 949 00:33:32,900 --> 00:33:34,300 JUST TO SEE HOW IT FEELS. 950 00:33:34,300 --> 00:33:36,000 - I'D BE HAPPY WITH JUST THE TIP RIGHT NOW. 951 00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:38,200 - I JUST WASN'T AWARE THAT THE DEPRIVATION OF SEX 952 00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:40,333 WOULD REALLY SEND JASON INTO A COMPLETE TAILSPIN. 953 00:33:40,333 --> 00:33:44,867 AND YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX FOR SIX WEEKS AFTER YOU GIVE BIRTH. 954 00:33:44,867 --> 00:33:47,200 DOCTOR'S ORDERS. LOVE TO PLAY JUST THE TIP? 955 00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:48,800 - OH, MY G-- CALL THE DOCTOR. 956 00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:50,633 - JUST CALL MY DOCTOR, JUST IN HONOR OF THE FACT 957 00:33:50,633 --> 00:33:52,066 THAT WE'RE ON MONTAUK, 958 00:33:52,066 --> 00:33:53,900 WHICH IS--I'M SURE HE'LL UNDERSTAND THE METAPHOR. 959 00:33:53,900 --> 00:33:54,934 - YEAH. - NO TIP. 960 00:33:54,934 --> 00:33:56,400 - YOU CALL THE DOCTOR AND ASK HIM. 961 00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:58,100 - YOU'RE GONNA CALL HIM AND SEE IF YOU'RE GOOD TO GO. 962 00:33:58,100 --> 00:34:00,033 - I KNOW I'M NOT GOOD TO GO 'CAUSE WE HAVE A WEEK LEFT. 963 00:34:00,033 --> 00:34:02,567 - DOES THAT--THAT WEEK-- THAT LAST WEEK REALLY MATTER? 964 00:34:02,567 --> 00:34:03,900 - THE DOCTOR SAID SIX WEEKS. 965 00:34:03,900 --> 00:34:06,133 - SIX WEEKS IS SIX WEEKS, NO TIP. 966 00:34:06,133 --> 00:34:07,533 - I-- - [giggles] 967 00:34:07,533 --> 00:34:09,467 - [chuckles] 968 00:34:09,467 --> 00:34:11,100 OH, MY GOD, LOOK WHAT YOU'RE DOING. 969 00:34:11,100 --> 00:34:12,667 YOU'RE RUBBING OFF ON HER NOW. 970 00:34:12,667 --> 00:34:14,066 - [giggles] 971 00:34:14,066 --> 00:34:15,633 - I MEAN, THIS SIX WEEKS IS A LONG, 972 00:34:15,633 --> 00:34:18,066 LONG, LONG, LONG TIME. 973 00:34:18,066 --> 00:34:19,300 I MEAN, IF-- - NO TIP. 974 00:34:19,300 --> 00:34:21,266 - NO TIP. - [groans softly] 975 00:34:21,266 --> 00:34:23,834 SO YES, MONTAUK IS THE TIP OF LONG ISLAND. 976 00:34:23,834 --> 00:34:26,000 - WE LIKE TO CALL IT "MON-COCK." 977 00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:27,900 - OH, MY GOD, WHAT? 978 00:34:27,900 --> 00:34:30,934 - THE BABY'S NOT AROUND MON-COCK. 979 00:34:30,934 --> 00:34:32,266 [laughing] 980 00:34:32,266 --> 00:34:33,834 IT'S FRENCH. 981 00:34:33,834 --> 00:34:36,500 - IT'S FRENCH. - IT'S FRENCH! 982 00:34:36,500 --> 00:34:39,967 MON-COCK. [laughing] 983 00:34:39,967 --> 00:34:41,367 - I'M SEPARATING YOU TWO. 984 00:34:41,367 --> 00:34:43,100 - I'M CRYING! - DON'T--DON'T DROP-- 985 00:34:43,100 --> 00:34:45,333 - MON-COCK IS FRENCH! - DON'T SPILL THE GOLD. 986 00:34:45,333 --> 00:34:48,667 - [laughing] 987 00:34:48,667 --> 00:34:49,900 - DID I MISS THE JOKE? I MEAN-- 988 00:34:49,900 --> 00:34:53,533 - IT'S FRENCH. MON--LIKE M-O-N, MON-COCK. 989 00:34:53,533 --> 00:34:55,166 - I'M WITH YOU. 990 00:34:55,166 --> 00:34:57,333 - THAT'S FUNNY. IT'S MON-COCK. 991 00:34:57,333 --> 00:35:01,834 [laughing] 992 00:35:01,834 --> 00:35:04,867 - WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU TWO? 993 00:35:09,700 --> 00:35:11,200 - OKAY, I'D LIKE TO MAKE A TOAST. 994 00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:12,400 CHEERS. - [chuckles] 995 00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:14,033 - CHEERS. - TO BEING IN MONTAUK. 996 00:35:14,033 --> 00:35:15,367 - THANK YOU FOR BRINGING US HERE. 997 00:35:15,367 --> 00:35:17,200 - GUYS, SERIOUSLY. - THANK YOU SO MUCH. 998 00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:19,300 - THIS IS MY FIRST TIME IN THE HAMPTONS. THIS IS GREAT. 999 00:35:19,300 --> 00:35:20,800 - YEAH? WHAT DO YOU THINK? - IT'S COOL. 1000 00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:21,967 IT'S A GROOVY TOWN. 1001 00:35:21,967 --> 00:35:23,233 - GROOVY? GROOVY. 1002 00:35:23,233 --> 00:35:25,033 YOU KNOW HOW TO THROW A FOOTBALL? 1003 00:35:25,033 --> 00:35:26,834 - YEAH, I DO. - WE'RE GONNA HAVE A GAME. 1004 00:35:26,834 --> 00:35:28,166 ME AND YOU AGAINST JULIE AND MAX. 1005 00:35:28,166 --> 00:35:29,433 - WELL, WHAT'S THE GAME? 1006 00:35:29,433 --> 00:35:30,834 - FIRST TOUCHDOWN WINS. 1007 00:35:30,834 --> 00:35:32,400 - WH--ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO. 1008 00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:35,066 THE FOOTBALL GAME MADE MAX'S ENTIRE LIFE. 1009 00:35:35,066 --> 00:35:36,600 IT WAS HIS THING, FINALLY. 1010 00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:39,333 LIKE, HE GOT TO SHOW US WHAT HE WAS GOOD AT. 1011 00:35:39,333 --> 00:35:40,900 - THIS IS WHY YOU RAN THE HALF MARATHON. 1012 00:35:40,900 --> 00:35:43,133 THIS IS WHY WE TRAIN EVERY SINGLE DAY--FOR THIS. 1013 00:35:43,133 --> 00:35:45,266 - HE'S LIKE A LITTLE PUPPY WHO PEED ON HIMSELF. 1014 00:35:45,266 --> 00:35:46,867 - LISTEN, SHE'S SHIFTING. - GOTTA DO IT QUICK-- 1015 00:35:46,867 --> 00:35:48,266 - SHE'S SHIFTING. - 'CAUSE MAX IS GONNA COME AND-- 1016 00:35:48,266 --> 00:35:49,500 ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME OR MAX? 1017 00:35:49,500 --> 00:35:50,867 - I JUST LIKE TO HEAR WHAT HE SAYS ABOUT IT. 1018 00:35:50,867 --> 00:35:52,133 - DON'T GET FOOLED BY HER JUKES. 1019 00:35:52,133 --> 00:35:54,500 - HE'S DOING PEP TALKS WITH JULIE, 1020 00:35:54,500 --> 00:35:56,000 AND HE'S AN ATHLETE. 1021 00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:58,266 HE WAS THE SHORTEST GUY TO EVER GET ON 1022 00:35:58,266 --> 00:35:59,633 SYRACUSE'S FOOTBALL TEAM. 1023 00:35:59,633 --> 00:36:01,200 HE TOOK IT VERY SERIOUSLY. 1024 00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:02,667 - WHEREVER BETHENNY GOES, YOU GO. 1025 00:36:02,667 --> 00:36:05,333 - "THIS IS WHY YOU TRAIN FOR THE MARATHON! 1026 00:36:05,333 --> 00:36:07,233 YOU'RE ONE STEP AHEAD." - LISTEN... 1027 00:36:07,233 --> 00:36:09,433 - "THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID YOU WERE." 1028 00:36:09,433 --> 00:36:10,633 - [laughing] - ARE YOU READY? 1029 00:36:10,633 --> 00:36:12,000 - I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. 1030 00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:13,233 I CAN'T GO BACK. - DON'T--FOLLOW HER, 1031 00:36:13,233 --> 00:36:14,734 FOLLOW HER, FOLLOW HER! THERE YOU GO! 1032 00:36:14,734 --> 00:36:16,800 - BUT YOU'RE NOT DOING WHAT I TOLD YOU! 1033 00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:18,400 - WHATEVER SHE DOES, CHASE HER, JULIE. 1034 00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:20,133 - JULIE AND MAX ARE A GOOD TEAM, I HAVE TO SAY. 1035 00:36:20,133 --> 00:36:21,633 I'M GLAD THEY'RE WORKING TOGETHER, 1036 00:36:21,633 --> 00:36:23,367 BECAUSE JASON AND I ARE GETTING A DIVORCE. 1037 00:36:23,367 --> 00:36:24,767 - DO THE FIVE STEPS AND THEN RUN OVER... 1038 00:36:24,767 --> 00:36:26,967 - LIKE, HOW? 1039 00:36:26,967 --> 00:36:28,367 - OH, MY LORD. HIKE! 1040 00:36:28,367 --> 00:36:29,834 - GO GET HER, GO GET HER, GO GET HER. 1041 00:36:29,834 --> 00:36:32,166 GOING DEEP, UH-OH, UH-OH. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1042 00:36:32,166 --> 00:36:34,166 I DON'T THINK HE'S A GOOD QUARTERBACK. 1043 00:36:34,166 --> 00:36:35,467 I REALLY DON'T. 1044 00:36:35,467 --> 00:36:37,066 WHY IS IT OVER? YOU SUCK TOO. 1045 00:36:37,066 --> 00:36:39,166 - THERE WAS SOME MISCOMMUNICATION, 1046 00:36:39,166 --> 00:36:40,700 BECAUSE WE DIDN'T GO ANYWHERE. 1047 00:36:40,700 --> 00:36:41,834 - OUR BALL, LET'S DO IT! 1048 00:36:41,834 --> 00:36:43,033 SET, HUT! 1049 00:36:44,934 --> 00:36:47,667 OH, [bleep]. OH, NO, NO! 1050 00:36:47,667 --> 00:36:50,300 - YEAH! THAT WAS SO AWESOME! 1051 00:36:50,300 --> 00:36:51,533 - JULIE'S A BALLER. 1052 00:36:51,533 --> 00:36:53,133 AND SHE REALLY TOOK BETHENNY TO SCHOOL, 1053 00:36:53,133 --> 00:36:54,367 IF YOU WANNA KNOW MY OPINION. 1054 00:36:54,367 --> 00:36:55,734 - THAT WAS SO GOOD! 1055 00:36:55,734 --> 00:36:58,200 - ONE PLAY! - THAT WAS AWESOME! 1056 00:36:58,200 --> 00:36:59,600 - THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. 1057 00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:02,200 - BETHENNY'S SUPER COMPETITIVE, SO I KNOW THAT, 1058 00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:04,266 YOU KNOW, IT WOULD BE COOL TO BEAT HER AT SOMETHING. 1059 00:37:04,266 --> 00:37:05,433 [giggles] 1060 00:37:05,433 --> 00:37:06,967 THAT'S MY STEELERS RIGHT THERE. 1061 00:37:06,967 --> 00:37:08,533 - WOW, THAT WASN'T MESSING AROUND. 1062 00:37:08,533 --> 00:37:10,367 - GOOD PLAY. - THAT WAS SO COOL! 1063 00:37:10,367 --> 00:37:12,033 - WE LOST. 1064 00:37:17,700 --> 00:37:19,500 - DID YOU BRING BACK THAT BIG FOLDER 1065 00:37:19,500 --> 00:37:21,000 OF THAT BOOK THAT'S IN MY LIVING ROOM? 1066 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:22,367 - YEAH, I GOT IT. 1067 00:37:22,367 --> 00:37:24,266 - ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET IT ALL OUT FOR THE LADIES. 1068 00:37:24,266 --> 00:37:25,467 - MY BACK IS BURNING-- 1069 00:37:25,467 --> 00:37:27,066 I NEED TO GET SUNTAN LOTION IN A MINUTE. 1070 00:37:27,066 --> 00:37:29,767 - WE'RE ALWAYS OUT HERE, AND FREE AND SINGLE, 1071 00:37:29,767 --> 00:37:30,834 AND RUNNING AROUND, 1072 00:37:30,834 --> 00:37:32,400 AND THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THAT WE 1073 00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:33,500 HAVE ACTUALLY BARBECUED. 1074 00:37:33,500 --> 00:37:35,500 HEY, BABE. - DO WE HAVE NEWSPAPER? 1075 00:37:35,500 --> 00:37:37,200 - I DON'T KNOW. 1076 00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:39,934 SO I THINK WE'RE THE FAMILY TYPE NOW. 1077 00:37:39,934 --> 00:37:41,934 I THINK WE'RE IN A FAMILY WAY. 1078 00:37:43,834 --> 00:37:46,900 BUT THEN... IT GOT WEIRD. 1079 00:37:46,900 --> 00:37:48,900 - I NEED LOTION ON MY BACK. 1080 00:37:48,900 --> 00:37:50,266 IN THE STRAIGHTEST WAY POSSIBLE. 1081 00:37:50,266 --> 00:37:51,834 - I'M EATING RIGHT NOW. 1082 00:37:51,834 --> 00:37:53,767 - I DON'T CARE ABOUT PUTTING SUNSCREEN 1083 00:37:53,767 --> 00:37:55,567 ON A GUY'S BACK. IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL. 1084 00:37:55,567 --> 00:37:57,633 - YOU DON'T NEED YOUR BACK-- YOU HAVE YOUR SHIRT ON. 1085 00:37:57,633 --> 00:37:59,533 - NO, I FEEL-- WELL, IT DOESN'T MATTER. 1086 00:37:59,533 --> 00:38:01,200 - ODDLY, I THINK MAX WOULD HAVE 1087 00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:02,500 FOUND IT MORE AWKWARD FOR ME 1088 00:38:02,500 --> 00:38:04,033 TO PUT LOTION ON HIS BACK THAN JASON. 1089 00:38:04,033 --> 00:38:05,767 - OH, MY GOD. 1090 00:38:05,767 --> 00:38:07,867 - WE'RE GONNA BE ON EVERY GAY WEBSITE. 1091 00:38:07,867 --> 00:38:09,633 - WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? 1092 00:38:09,633 --> 00:38:11,567 - YOU DON'T HAVE TO BEND OVER LIKE THIS, MAX. 1093 00:38:11,567 --> 00:38:13,467 YOU CAN JUST STAND STRAIGHT. - YOU'RE RIGHT. 1094 00:38:13,467 --> 00:38:15,200 - I MEAN, REALLY. 1095 00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:17,200 - THAT IS REALLY FUNNY. 1096 00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:19,300 - I'LL WARM IT UP FOR YOU TOO, PAL. 1097 00:38:19,300 --> 00:38:21,133 - THANK YOU. OH, WOW, THAT'S GREAT. 1098 00:38:21,133 --> 00:38:24,000 THANK YOU SO MUCH. THIS IS TOTALLY NICE OF YOU. 1099 00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:25,900 - YOU ARE SOMETHING ELSE. 1100 00:38:25,900 --> 00:38:27,767 - I WAS GONNA JOKE, BUT-- - I KNOW, I KNOW. 1101 00:38:27,767 --> 00:38:29,166 - YOU DIDN'T RUB IT IN, JASON. 1102 00:38:29,166 --> 00:38:30,633 - I DID RUB IT IN. - YOU DID? 1103 00:38:30,633 --> 00:38:32,400 - GUY, I GOT YOU ALREADY. 1104 00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:34,066 - MM. 1105 00:38:34,066 --> 00:38:36,200 - I DON'T KNOW MEN TO ALLOW OTHER MEN 1106 00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:37,500 TO RUB LOTION ON THEIR BACK, 1107 00:38:37,500 --> 00:38:40,533 UNLESS THEY ARE EN FUEGO 1108 00:38:40,533 --> 00:38:42,633 AND LIVE IN CHELSEA. 1109 00:38:42,633 --> 00:38:44,233 - YOU WANNA GRAB THE ICE, MAX? 1110 00:38:44,233 --> 00:38:46,867 - THIS IS WHEN WE'RE GONNA NEED SOME SALT. 1111 00:38:46,867 --> 00:38:48,233 - WHERE'S MAX? 1112 00:38:48,233 --> 00:38:50,834 - LUBING HIMSELF UP AND PRETENDING HE'S STRAIGHT. 1113 00:38:50,834 --> 00:38:53,066 - [chuckles] 1114 00:38:53,066 --> 00:38:55,700 - SO YOU--THE BOOK JUST LIKE IS AN ACCESSORY WITH YOU. 1115 00:38:55,700 --> 00:38:57,567 IT COMES AROUND, AND NOTHING EVER CHANGES. 1116 00:38:59,133 --> 00:39:00,233 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, IT SUCKS? 1117 00:39:00,233 --> 00:39:01,367 - IT'S JUST NOT GOOD. 1118 00:39:01,367 --> 00:39:02,867 I ACTUALLY-- I NEED TO START OVER, 1119 00:39:02,867 --> 00:39:05,000 AND I HATE THIS BOOK, AND I WANT THIS TO BE OVER. 1120 00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:06,600 AND JASON, HERE YOU GO, SWEETIE. 1121 00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:07,967 'CAUSE I'M, LIKE, OVER THIS BOOK. 1122 00:39:07,967 --> 00:39:09,600 LIKE, SO OVER WITH THIS-- - HOLD ON, 1123 00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:11,600 WAIT TILL THIS PAPER BURNS. - ARE YOU SURE YOU WANNA DO-- 1124 00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:12,934 - YEAH, IT'S OVER. IT'S GOTTA BE. 1125 00:39:12,934 --> 00:39:15,367 SPEAKING OF, IT'S OVER. IT'S OVER. 1126 00:39:16,633 --> 00:39:19,033 I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE. [bleep] BOOK. 1127 00:39:19,033 --> 00:39:20,033 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1128 00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:22,467 YOU WORKED MONTHS ON THAT BOOK. 1129 00:39:22,467 --> 00:39:23,734 - I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. 1130 00:39:23,734 --> 00:39:25,367 IT'S JUST GOTTA BE STARTED FROM SCRATCH. 1131 00:39:25,367 --> 00:39:27,066 JUST MAKE THE FIRE. 1132 00:39:27,066 --> 00:39:29,667 IT IS SUCH A MASSIVE... 1133 00:39:29,667 --> 00:39:33,367 SUCH A MASSIVE PROJECT. AND I'M STARTING OVER. 1134 00:39:33,367 --> 00:39:34,900 - I'M A LITTLE SHOCKED, BUT ALL RIGHT. 1135 00:39:34,900 --> 00:39:36,300 - I SO DON'T EVEN KNOW, LIKE, WHAT? 1136 00:39:36,300 --> 00:39:37,900 - IT HAS TO START OVER. - NEW BEGINNINGS. 1137 00:39:37,900 --> 00:39:39,133 - NEW BEGINNINGS. - SO I'M STARTING OVER. 1138 00:39:39,133 --> 00:39:40,200 TO NEW BEGINNINGS. 1139 00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:41,800 - CHEERS. WOW. 1140 00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:43,767 - I NEED TO START FRESH. LIKE THE REST OF MY LIFE. 1141 00:39:43,767 --> 00:39:45,533 IT WASN'T COMING FROM A PLACE OF YES, 1142 00:39:45,533 --> 00:39:46,767 IT WAS COMING FROM A PLACE OF [bleep]. 1143 00:39:46,767 --> 00:39:49,800 SO... CHAPTER ONE. 1144 00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:52,200 PLACE OF YES. 1145 00:39:54,667 --> 00:39:56,166 - CHAPTER TWO, I'M ON. 1146 00:39:56,166 --> 00:39:57,633 - [laughing] 1147 00:39:57,633 --> 00:39:59,166 YOU'RE ON CHAPTER TWO? 1148 00:40:00,900 --> 00:40:02,633 - OH, YEAH. THIS IS A BITE OF MY CHILDHOOD. 1149 00:40:02,633 --> 00:40:04,266 THAT'S FUNNY, JULIE. 1150 00:40:19,567 --> 00:40:22,133 - [sighs] - EVERYBODY'S TOGETHER. 1151 00:40:22,133 --> 00:40:23,667 - I KNOW. IT IS NICE, I HAVE TO SAY. 1152 00:40:23,667 --> 00:40:25,633 THINK ABOUT LAST SUMMER. 1153 00:40:25,633 --> 00:40:26,667 IN THAT VERY BAR. 1154 00:40:26,667 --> 00:40:29,667 [club music plays] 1155 00:40:29,667 --> 00:40:31,500 ♪♪ ♪♪ 1156 00:40:31,500 --> 00:40:33,800 AND NOW WE'RE HERE. AND I'M WEARING A CARD-- 1157 00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:35,934 AND I'M WEARING A CARDIGAN WITH MY CHILD. 1158 00:40:35,934 --> 00:40:37,200 A LOT HAS CHANGED. 1159 00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:38,834 AND I'M REALLY HAPPY WITH WHERE MY LIFE IS 1160 00:40:38,834 --> 00:40:41,266 I MEAN, THIS IS... THIS IS WHERE I WANTED IT TO BE. 1161 00:40:41,266 --> 00:40:43,600 AND THIS HASN'T EVEN SUNK IN YET. 1162 00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:45,500 THIS. - THIS OVER HERE? 1163 00:40:45,500 --> 00:40:47,967 - THIS SITUATION. HAS IT REALLY SUNK IN TO YOU? 1164 00:40:47,967 --> 00:40:49,266 - NO, NOT AT ALL. - RIGHT. 1165 00:40:49,266 --> 00:40:51,767 I MEAN, WHO IS THIS BEING OVER HERE? 1166 00:40:51,767 --> 00:40:53,633 - WHEN YOU LEAVE FOR TWO DAYS, IT'S GONNA SINK IN. 1167 00:40:53,633 --> 00:40:55,767 - WHENEVER HE'S GONNA TOUCH THE TIP? 1168 00:40:55,767 --> 00:40:57,533 - HERE WE GO WITH THE TIP. 1169 00:40:57,533 --> 00:40:59,367 - CAN WE HAVE A NORMAL MEAL ALREADY? 1170 00:40:59,367 --> 00:41:00,734 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 1171 00:41:00,734 --> 00:41:02,700 - YOU'RE ANIMALS. - THE TIP OF HIS YOU-KNOW-WHAT. 1172 00:41:02,700 --> 00:41:04,033 - WE SHOULD BE TALKING LIKE THAT, 1173 00:41:04,033 --> 00:41:05,667 AND YOU WOMEN ANIMALS ARE TALKING... 1174 00:41:05,667 --> 00:41:07,333 - YOU'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT FOR WEEKS. 1175 00:41:07,333 --> 00:41:09,467 - I HAVE, BUT I'VE BEEN CHILLING WITH IT. 1176 00:41:09,467 --> 00:41:11,700 UNTIL SHE ASKED ABOUT THE TIP OF LONG ISLAND. 1177 00:41:11,700 --> 00:41:14,667 - SHE'S CONCERNED ABOUT THE TIP OF YOUR LONG ISLAND. 1178 00:41:14,667 --> 00:41:16,200 - LONG ISLAND, YEAH, HOW'S IT GOING? 1179 00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:17,600 - [laughing] 1180 00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:19,033 - IS IT THE TIME? 1181 00:41:19,033 --> 00:41:20,333 - IT'S NOT TIME TILL NEXT WEEK. 1182 00:41:20,333 --> 00:41:21,667 - WHY ARE YOU ASKING MY WIFE THAT? 1183 00:41:21,667 --> 00:41:23,367 - YOU'RE RIGHT, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY. 1184 00:41:23,367 --> 00:41:25,000 - NO, HE WAS CURIOUS ABOUT WHAT IT MEANS. 1185 00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:26,967 HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHY-- 1186 00:41:26,967 --> 00:41:28,533 - I WAS ONLY JOKING WITH HIM. 1187 00:41:28,533 --> 00:41:29,800 SHE'S TALKING ABOUT THE TIP. 1188 00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:31,800 YOU CAN ASK THAT QUESTION. 1189 00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:34,000 - ALL RIGHT, SO I WANNA MAKE A TOAST TO EACH PERSON. 1190 00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:35,133 - WOW. 1191 00:41:35,133 --> 00:41:36,834 OKAY. - AND I'M NOT GONNA CRY. 1192 00:41:36,834 --> 00:41:39,033 WE ARE NOT GONNA CRY DURING THIS TOAST. 1193 00:41:39,033 --> 00:41:40,266 - HOLD MY HAND. - OKAY. 1194 00:41:40,266 --> 00:41:41,867 - GO AHEAD. - [exhales heavily] 1195 00:41:41,867 --> 00:41:43,700 OKAY. GINA, WE LOVE YOU. 1196 00:41:43,700 --> 00:41:45,734 - THANK YOU VERY MUCH. - YOU'RE A PART OF OUR FAMILY. 1197 00:41:45,734 --> 00:41:47,133 IT'S SO NICE TO HAVE YOU. 1198 00:41:47,133 --> 00:41:48,400 THANK YOU, BECAUSE WE KNEW NOTHING. 1199 00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:50,667 AND WE LOVE THAT YOU LOVE OUR BABY 1200 00:41:50,667 --> 00:41:52,066 AND YOU TAKE SUCH GOOD CARE OF HER. 1201 00:41:52,066 --> 00:41:53,700 - IT'S A PLEASURE TO WORK HERE. 1202 00:41:53,700 --> 00:41:55,533 - AND WE'RE JUST SO FORTUNATE THAT WE GET TO HAVE YOU, 1203 00:41:55,533 --> 00:41:57,233 AND WE'RE HAPPY, WE APPRECIATE IT. 1204 00:41:59,633 --> 00:42:01,834 - THANK YOU VERY MUCH. - MAX... 1205 00:42:01,834 --> 00:42:04,033 I--WE HAD OUR UPS AND DOWNS FOR SURE, 1206 00:42:04,033 --> 00:42:06,600 AND I WAS A LITTLE BIT NERVOUS FOR A MOMENT, 1207 00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:07,967 BUT YOU REALLY COME CORRECT 1208 00:42:07,967 --> 00:42:09,567 AND IT'S REALLY NICE TO HAVE YOU. 1209 00:42:09,567 --> 00:42:12,734 I KNOW IT'S NOT AN EASY ENVIRONMENT TO BE AROUND-- 1210 00:42:12,734 --> 00:42:16,333 ALL WOMEN, AND NEW BABY, AND ALL THE CHANGES, 1211 00:42:16,333 --> 00:42:18,166 AND IT'S JUST A LITTLE INTENSE-- 1212 00:42:18,166 --> 00:42:19,467 BUT THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE 1213 00:42:19,467 --> 00:42:21,066 AND FOR WEATHERING THE STORM. 1214 00:42:21,066 --> 00:42:22,734 - THANK YOU. 1215 00:42:22,734 --> 00:42:24,033 - AND JULIE... 1216 00:42:24,033 --> 00:42:25,300 YOU REALLY HAVE COME INTO YOUR OWN. 1217 00:42:25,300 --> 00:42:26,967 YOU'VE BECOME A BUSINESSWOMAN. 1218 00:42:26,967 --> 00:42:28,233 I CAN TOTALLY DEPEND UPON YOU. 1219 00:42:28,233 --> 00:42:29,433 HE'S COMPLETELY RIGHT, 1220 00:42:29,433 --> 00:42:31,266 YOU'RE THE BACKBONE OF THE ENTIRE BUSINESS. 1221 00:42:31,266 --> 00:42:33,633 AND WITHOUT YOU I COULD NOT BE DOING WHAT I'M DOING 1222 00:42:33,633 --> 00:42:35,066 AND EVERYTHING. - THANK YOU. 1223 00:42:35,066 --> 00:42:36,500 - AND I REALLY, I LOVE YOU. - I LOVE YOU TOO. 1224 00:42:36,500 --> 00:42:39,433 - YOU ARE REALLY NOT REPLACEABLE. 1225 00:42:39,433 --> 00:42:42,700 - BETHENNY'S A TOUGH COOKIE, AND SHE'S NOT VERY EMOTIONAL. 1226 00:42:42,700 --> 00:42:45,567 AND THE FACT THAT SHE DID GET EMOTIONAL 1227 00:42:45,567 --> 00:42:46,834 MEANS A LOT TO ME. 1228 00:42:46,834 --> 00:42:49,100 AND, YOU KNOW, I'M VERY THANKFUL FOR HER, 1229 00:42:49,100 --> 00:42:50,633 AND FOR JASON, AND FOR BRYN TOO. 1230 00:42:50,633 --> 00:42:52,367 - AND TO MY HUSBAND... 1231 00:42:52,367 --> 00:42:53,800 I'M SO IN LOVE WITH YOU. 1232 00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:55,500 I'M THE LUCKIEST GIRL IN THE WHOLE WORLD. 1233 00:42:55,500 --> 00:42:57,133 I'M SO HAPPY. 1234 00:42:57,133 --> 00:42:59,900 AND I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT WE HAVE SUCH GOOD FORTUNE. 1235 00:42:59,900 --> 00:43:03,100 AND THAT WE'RE JUST SO LUCKY TO HAVE GREAT PEOPLE AROUND US. 1236 00:43:03,100 --> 00:43:05,266 AND I REALLY LOVE YOU. I'M REALLY HAPPY. 1237 00:43:05,266 --> 00:43:07,500 I'VE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE. 1238 00:43:07,500 --> 00:43:10,467 - MY LIFE HAS BEEN COMPLETELY TURNED UPSIDE DOWN. 1239 00:43:10,467 --> 00:43:13,967 I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL WIFE THAT I'M SO IN LOVE WITH. 1240 00:43:13,967 --> 00:43:16,166 AND TO HAVE THIS LITTLE GIRL WITH HER, 1241 00:43:16,166 --> 00:43:18,233 I MEAN, I JUST COULDN'T BE HAPPIER. 1242 00:43:18,233 --> 00:43:19,800 - AND TO YOU, BRYN... 1243 00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:22,066 YOU ARE THE BEST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO US. 1244 00:43:22,066 --> 00:43:25,066 WE ARE SO LUCKY, AND WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH. 1245 00:43:25,066 --> 00:43:28,033 AND I LOVE YOU. - I LOVE YOU. 1246 00:43:28,033 --> 00:43:30,567 - IT FEELS REALLY NICE TO FINALLY HAVE MY OWN FAMILY. 1247 00:43:30,567 --> 00:43:32,367 THE WAY THAT I WANT IT. 1248 00:43:32,367 --> 00:43:35,367 AND THE FUTURE CAN BE WHATEVER I MAKE IT. 1249 00:43:37,033 --> 00:43:38,667 - CHEERS, GUYS. - CHEERS, EVERYBODY. 1250 00:43:38,667 --> 00:43:40,133 - CHEERS. - TO NEW BEGINNINGS. 1251 00:43:40,133 --> 00:43:41,867 - ABSOLUTELY. CHEERS. 1252 00:43:41,867 --> 00:43:43,367 CHEERS. 1253 00:43:43,367 --> 00:43:45,233 - AND TO HEALTH, AND HAPPINESS, AND LOVE. 1254 00:43:45,233 --> 00:43:46,500 AND TO THE TIP. 1255 00:43:46,500 --> 00:43:47,734 - [laughing] 1256 00:43:47,734 --> 00:43:49,100 - TO THE TIP OF LONG ISLAND. 1257 00:43:49,100 --> 00:43:50,333 - HERE'S TO THE TIP. - MONTAUK. 1258 00:43:50,333 --> 00:43:51,600 - [laughing] - AND TO THE TIP OF... 1259 00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:54,100 - [laughing] 1260 00:43:54,100 --> 00:43:55,533 - [crying] - OH, NO. 1261 00:43:55,533 --> 00:43:57,300 - IT'S OVER. - SORRY, EVERYONE. 1262 00:43:57,300 --> 00:43:59,033 - [laughing] - OH. 1263 00:43:59,033 --> 00:44:00,934 WE'VE BECOME THOSE PEOPLE. - THOSE PEOPLE. 1264 00:44:00,934 --> 00:44:02,567 - WE'RE THOSE PEOPLE. - I DON'T GIVE AN "F." 1265 00:44:02,567 --> 00:44:04,600 TO LEARN MORE ABOUT BETHENNY GETTING MARRIED?, 1266 00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:06,200 GO TO BRAVOTV.COM. 1267 00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:08,934 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com