1 00:00:03,333 --> 00:00:04,667 - PREVIOUSLY ON BETHENNY EVER AFTER... 2 00:00:04,667 --> 00:00:06,667 GINA! WANT SOME LINGERIE? 3 00:00:06,667 --> 00:00:08,066 TAKE IT TO THE CHURCH. 4 00:00:08,066 --> 00:00:10,934 - SHE'S SENDING YOU OFF WITH, LIKE, A BAG OF SIN. 5 00:00:12,233 --> 00:00:14,133 - HE WILL GRANT THIS CHILD 6 00:00:14,133 --> 00:00:16,800 THAT SHE MAY BE BAPTIZED WITH WATER. 7 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:19,233 - I HAVE THIS TERRIBLE FEELING IN MY STOMACH. 8 00:00:19,233 --> 00:00:20,967 BUT WE WERE PUT IN A TERRIBLE POSITION, 9 00:00:20,967 --> 00:00:24,233 THAT IT LOOKS LIKE A BAPTISM. - IT'S NOT A BAPTISM. 10 00:00:24,233 --> 00:00:26,700 - BUT I JUST HAD THIS TERRIBLE FEELING INSIDE OF ME 11 00:00:26,700 --> 00:00:28,433 THAT I LET MY FAMILY DOWN. 12 00:00:28,433 --> 00:00:29,834 - SO BRITTANY AND JASON, 13 00:00:29,834 --> 00:00:33,100 YOU HAVE ASKED TO HAVE YOUR CHILD BAPTIZED. 14 00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:35,667 - I'M BETHENNY. - BRITTANY AND JASON... 15 00:00:35,667 --> 00:00:38,100 BRITTANY AND, UH, JASON... 16 00:00:38,100 --> 00:00:39,333 I SAID "BRITTANY" AGAIN. 17 00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:01,734 - WOW, LOOK AT THIS CRAZY ROOM. 18 00:01:01,734 --> 00:01:03,266 - WOW. - LOOK AT THIS 19 00:01:03,266 --> 00:01:05,066 UNBELIEVABLE ROOM. 20 00:01:05,066 --> 00:01:06,867 - IT'S, LIKE, TWO FLOORS. 21 00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:08,166 - HI! - HELLO. 22 00:01:08,166 --> 00:01:09,667 - WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? 23 00:01:09,667 --> 00:01:11,800 - IS THIS NOT CRAZY? 24 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:14,400 - ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME? - IT'S CRAZY, RIGHT? 25 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:16,500 - HOW ARE YOU? - HI! 26 00:01:16,500 --> 00:01:19,367 MY 40TH BIRTHDAY IS CREEPING UP ON ME. 27 00:01:19,367 --> 00:01:21,367 I HAVEN'T DECIDED WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT. 28 00:01:21,367 --> 00:01:23,066 JULIE THINKS IT MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA FOR ME 29 00:01:23,066 --> 00:01:26,133 TO GET THE GIRLS TOGETHER AND HAVE A GIRLS' NIGHT OUT. 30 00:01:26,133 --> 00:01:28,133 GET A HOTEL ROOM, HAVE A COUPLE OF COCKTAILS, 31 00:01:28,133 --> 00:01:29,400 AND LET LOOSE. 32 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:31,633 - HI! - SHE BRINGS A GARMENT BAG! 33 00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:34,834 [overlapping chatter] 34 00:01:34,834 --> 00:01:37,266 - OH, MY GOSH! 35 00:01:37,266 --> 00:01:39,600 - THIS IS MY CASUALNESS. 36 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,066 - LOOK AT THE HEEL! - I CAN'T EVEN WALK IN FLATS. 37 00:01:42,066 --> 00:01:44,500 - SHE'S LIKE DOLLY PARTON. SHE'S ALWAYS IN 6-INCH HEELS. 38 00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:46,166 - I ACTUALLY AM DOLLY PARTON. - I LOVE IT! 39 00:01:46,166 --> 00:01:47,500 - THE BOOTS. - EXACTLY. 40 00:01:47,500 --> 00:01:49,433 - EVERYBODY-- - SHE CAME WITH A ROLL-AWAY. 41 00:01:49,433 --> 00:01:52,667 CORI LOOKED LIKE SHE WAS SHOWING UP TO GET LAID AND PAID. 42 00:01:52,667 --> 00:01:54,066 COME IN! - RRRR! 43 00:01:54,066 --> 00:01:56,400 - THIS IS THE ENTERTAINMENT COMING IN. 44 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:57,867 HI, GUYS. - HI, HOW ARE YOU? 45 00:01:57,867 --> 00:01:59,533 - DON'T YOU WANNA HANG OUT WITH US? 46 00:01:59,533 --> 00:02:01,533 - I WOULD LIKE TO, BUT I HAVE TO GO BACK TO WORK. 47 00:02:01,533 --> 00:02:03,800 - AW. OKAY. 48 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:07,467 - OH, WE GOT THE SALAMIS. - WE GOT THE SALAMIS. 49 00:02:07,467 --> 00:02:10,500 - SO HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT TURNING 40? 50 00:02:10,500 --> 00:02:12,700 - I DON'T HAVE ANY THOUGHTS ABOUT IT. 51 00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:15,734 IF I THINK ABOUT MY LIFE, DISCONNECTED TO BEING 40, 52 00:02:15,734 --> 00:02:17,300 I MEAN, I THINK IT'S A DREAM. 53 00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:18,467 I MEAN, I THINK I-- 54 00:02:18,467 --> 00:02:20,633 THIS LAST YEAR HAS BEEN PRETTY INCREDIBLE, 55 00:02:20,633 --> 00:02:22,433 YOU KNOW, BEING MARRIED, HAVING A BABY, 56 00:02:22,433 --> 00:02:24,066 JUST EVERYTHING. 57 00:02:24,066 --> 00:02:26,000 I'M REALLY FORTUNATE AND LUCKY, AND I FEEL GREAT, 58 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:27,433 BUT I DON'T CONNECT IT TO TURNING 40, 59 00:02:27,433 --> 00:02:28,667 AND I DON'T KNOW WHY. 60 00:02:30,133 --> 00:02:31,467 OH, I'VE LIVED. 61 00:02:31,467 --> 00:02:33,667 I-I MEAN, I DON'T WANNA DIE TODAY, 62 00:02:33,667 --> 00:02:35,333 BUT IF I DID, I WOULD NOT REGRET IT. 63 00:02:35,333 --> 00:02:37,000 I WOULD BE LIKE, "I DID IT." 64 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:40,400 - BUT DO YOU NEED TO KEEP PICTURES OF ALL OF YOUR EXES? 65 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:41,967 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN, LIKE, ON YOUR MANTEL? 66 00:02:41,967 --> 00:02:43,500 - YOU CAN HAVE A LITTLE POST BOX. 67 00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:45,967 - YOU CAN HAVE A LITTLE, LIKE-- - I SHOVE THEM DOWN MY BOX. 68 00:02:45,967 --> 00:02:48,233 I SHOVE THE PICTURE-- THERE'S A FILE CABINET UP THERE. 69 00:02:48,233 --> 00:02:51,834 - THERE'S A FILE CABINET UP THERE TOO? 70 00:02:51,834 --> 00:02:53,400 - WELL, HERE'S TO B ON HER 40TH BIRTHDAY. 71 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:54,867 - OH, THANK YOU. - AND GIRLS' NIGHT. 72 00:02:54,867 --> 00:02:57,133 - AND GIRLS' NIGHT. THANK YOU. 73 00:02:57,133 --> 00:02:59,000 ALL RIGHT, SO WANNA GO OUT, GO TO THE BAR? 74 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:00,200 - YEAH. - LET'S GO. 75 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,700 - FIND SOME SCHLONG IN THE BAR? 76 00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:04,333 [laughter] 77 00:03:04,333 --> 00:03:05,834 NO? - I'M SORRY. 78 00:03:05,834 --> 00:03:07,967 - IS THAT BAD? - WHO WANTS SCHLONG? 79 00:03:07,967 --> 00:03:10,333 - I'LL TAKE THE SCHLONG. 80 00:03:10,333 --> 00:03:12,266 I'LL HAVE A SCHLONG AND TURF. 81 00:03:12,266 --> 00:03:13,834 [laughter] 82 00:03:13,834 --> 00:03:15,967 - I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT THE PARTY. 83 00:03:15,967 --> 00:03:19,333 - ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET READY. 84 00:03:25,133 --> 00:03:27,033 - [groans] - OH, THAT'S GOOD. 85 00:03:27,033 --> 00:03:28,900 THAT'S A GOOD ONE. OH, I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. 86 00:03:28,900 --> 00:03:30,667 - AAH! 87 00:03:32,433 --> 00:03:34,500 - LET'S DO IT, HIGH-MAINTENANCE. 88 00:03:34,500 --> 00:03:36,867 ALL RIGHT, HOLLYWOOD. 89 00:03:39,133 --> 00:03:40,667 - WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PEOPLE HERE? 90 00:03:40,667 --> 00:03:42,467 [laughter] 91 00:03:42,467 --> 00:03:44,066 - HI! 92 00:03:44,066 --> 00:03:45,734 [giggling] 93 00:03:45,734 --> 00:03:47,700 - I LIKE IT HERE! - OH, MY GOD. 94 00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:49,467 THERE'S A LOT OF CUTE BOYS! 95 00:03:49,467 --> 00:03:53,133 - WHAT ARE WE GETTING? LET'S GET [bleep] IN THE CITY. 96 00:03:55,266 --> 00:03:57,500 OH, HI. HOW ARE YOU? 97 00:03:57,500 --> 00:03:58,967 YOU'RE JASON? OH! 98 00:03:58,967 --> 00:04:01,500 SIT RIGHT DOWN, JASON! 99 00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:03,700 YOU MUST BE THE ONLY JASON IN MANHATTAN 100 00:04:03,700 --> 00:04:05,633 I HAVEN'T SLEPT WITH. 101 00:04:05,633 --> 00:04:08,000 AND I MIGHT NOT EVEN REMEMBER. 102 00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:13,834 YOU'RE THE GENERAL MANAGER? 103 00:04:13,834 --> 00:04:16,767 WOW. 104 00:04:16,767 --> 00:04:20,033 WELL, YOU GOT SINGLE AND SINGLE 105 00:04:20,033 --> 00:04:21,633 AND READY TO MINGLE. 106 00:04:21,633 --> 00:04:24,133 ALL THE GIRLS WERE LUSTING AFTER JASON THE GENERAL MANAGER, 107 00:04:24,133 --> 00:04:25,767 EVEN THE MARRIED ONES. 108 00:04:25,767 --> 00:04:27,867 HE WAS CUTE. I'LL GIVE HIM THAT. 109 00:04:27,867 --> 00:04:30,033 YOU CAN COME OVER AND TALK. 110 00:04:30,033 --> 00:04:31,734 WE JUST HAD BABIES. 111 00:04:31,734 --> 00:04:33,233 - WE JUST HAD BABIES. 112 00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:45,767 VERY HANDSOME. AND YOU'RE A JASON TOO. 113 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:54,266 OH, THIS MAN HAS NO IDEA THE EXPERIENCE THAT I HAVE 114 00:04:54,266 --> 00:04:56,066 WITH JASONS. 115 00:04:56,066 --> 00:04:57,433 THIS IS IN MY WHEELHOUSE. 116 00:04:57,433 --> 00:04:58,867 [air hisses] 117 00:05:06,867 --> 00:05:10,300 LAUREN WAS READY TO GET RIP-ROARING DRUNK. 118 00:05:10,300 --> 00:05:12,066 TONIGHT WAS A "GET OUT OF JAIL FREE" CARD, 119 00:05:12,066 --> 00:05:14,133 AND SHE WANTED TO GET HER MONEY'S WORTH 120 00:05:14,133 --> 00:05:16,200 ON THE SINGLE LADIES' NIGHT OUT. 121 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,066 AND SHE COLLECTED. 122 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:24,500 - OH! - WOW! 123 00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:26,500 ♪♪ ♪♪ 124 00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:28,400 CORI DANCES LIKE IT'S HER JOB... 125 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:29,834 BY THE AIRPORT. 126 00:05:29,834 --> 00:05:31,900 - OH, NO, SHE'S GONNA BUST OUT THE STRIPPER! 127 00:05:31,900 --> 00:05:34,233 [overlapping comments] 128 00:05:34,233 --> 00:05:36,867 - UH! UH! STRIPPER! 129 00:05:36,867 --> 00:05:38,266 OH! OH! OH! 130 00:05:38,266 --> 00:05:40,734 - HERE, HONEY. - ALL RIGHT, DO YOUR BEST MOVE. 131 00:05:58,300 --> 00:06:00,433 JULIE WAS SO BOMBED 132 00:06:00,433 --> 00:06:02,000 THAT SHE WAS LIKE 133 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,533 SOMETHING THAT HAD BEEN MARINATING IN ALCOHOL 134 00:06:04,533 --> 00:06:06,100 FOR A FEW DAYS, 135 00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:08,934 AND YOU KIND OF JUST LIT A MATCH TO IT, 136 00:06:08,934 --> 00:06:11,734 AND SHE EXPLODED INTO FLAMES. 137 00:06:11,734 --> 00:06:14,066 A METRO-CARD DANCE WAS SOMETHING 138 00:06:14,066 --> 00:06:15,300 VERY UNFAMILIAR TO ME 139 00:06:15,300 --> 00:06:17,133 AND ANYONE WHO RIDES THE NEW YORK SUBWAY. 140 00:06:17,133 --> 00:06:19,400 CHEERS, YOU GUYS. 141 00:06:21,033 --> 00:06:22,300 - GIRLS' NIGHT. - GIRLS' NIGHT. 142 00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:24,000 - TO GIRLS' NIGHT. - GIRLS' NIGHT. 143 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,467 - YEAH. 144 00:06:34,934 --> 00:06:37,367 - HI. - LOOK AT YOU. 145 00:06:37,367 --> 00:06:40,266 YOU LOOK LIKE A FLASHER. - [laughs] 146 00:06:40,266 --> 00:06:42,300 - YOU DO. IT'S VERY SEXY. WOW. 147 00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:44,367 - THANKS! - VERY--WOW. 148 00:06:45,667 --> 00:06:47,667 [cell phone rings] 149 00:06:47,667 --> 00:06:50,667 HI. GOOD. HOW ARE YOU? 150 00:06:59,233 --> 00:07:00,867 OKAY... 151 00:07:04,266 --> 00:07:06,367 ICE SKATING? I LOVE ICE SKATING. 152 00:07:06,367 --> 00:07:08,200 I MEAN, I HAVEN'T DONE IT IN A MILLION YEARS, 153 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:09,367 BUT I ENJOY IT. 154 00:07:19,266 --> 00:07:22,000 I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT IT IS. 155 00:07:32,433 --> 00:07:33,633 I'M TURNING 40, 156 00:07:33,633 --> 00:07:36,200 AND SOMEONE'S ASKING ME TO ICE-SKATE. 157 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:38,166 I'M LIVING-- LIVING FOR THE COSTUMES 158 00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,533 AND LIVING FOR, LIKE, THE SONGS AND THE SEQUINS 159 00:07:40,533 --> 00:07:41,967 AND ALL THE BRACELETS. 160 00:07:41,967 --> 00:07:44,934 I WANNA WEAR SPARKLY COSTUMES. I WANNA WEAR FAKE EYELASHES. 161 00:07:44,934 --> 00:07:46,066 I WANNA WEAR GLITTER. 162 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:56,133 SOUNDS UNBELIEVABLE. I REALLY, REALLY WANNA DO IT. 163 00:07:56,133 --> 00:07:57,767 IT'S LIKE, HOW COULD I NOT DO IT? 164 00:07:57,767 --> 00:07:59,033 I'M GONNA BE 40 YEARS OLD, AND I GET TO BE ON THE ICE? 165 00:07:59,033 --> 00:08:00,900 LIKE, IT SOUNDS SO FUN. I JUST WANNA DO IT. 166 00:08:00,900 --> 00:08:02,266 BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW I CAN DO IT. 167 00:08:02,266 --> 00:08:04,433 I HAVE THE BABY, I HAVE JASON. 168 00:08:04,433 --> 00:08:05,800 I WANNA TALK TO JASON ABOUT IT. 169 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:07,433 I WANNA, LIKE, YOU KNOW, SIT DOWN WITH JULIE. 170 00:08:07,433 --> 00:08:09,867 JULIE'S HAVING HEART PALPITATIONS 171 00:08:09,867 --> 00:08:11,300 BECAUSE OF THE SCHEDULE. 172 00:08:11,300 --> 00:08:12,967 COMING UP... 173 00:08:12,967 --> 00:08:15,266 - THIS IS GREAT--EVERYWHERE WE TURN, THERE'S MORE MEN. 174 00:08:15,266 --> 00:08:16,700 - YOU HAVE A FISH ON THE LINE ALREADY. 175 00:08:16,700 --> 00:08:17,867 - THAT'S A CUTE FISH. 176 00:08:23,934 --> 00:08:26,934 [jazzy dance music] 177 00:08:26,934 --> 00:08:32,300 ♪♪ ♪♪ 178 00:08:32,300 --> 00:08:34,200 - HI. HOW ARE YOU? 179 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:35,633 I HAVE, UH... 180 00:08:35,633 --> 00:08:37,700 SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA MAKE OF. 181 00:08:37,700 --> 00:08:39,066 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF. 182 00:08:39,066 --> 00:08:40,367 I KNOW-- IT'S SOMETHING EVERY DAY. 183 00:08:40,367 --> 00:08:42,567 - YOU LOOK LIKE THE CAT THAT SWALLOWED THE CANARY. 184 00:08:42,567 --> 00:08:44,533 WHAT HAPPENED? - I KNOW. 185 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,600 UM... 186 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:50,300 SO DANCING WITH THE STARS... 187 00:08:50,300 --> 00:08:52,233 - YOU'RE GOING ON DANCING WITH THE STARS? 188 00:08:52,233 --> 00:08:53,600 - I'M NOT GOING ON DANCING WITH THE STARS. 189 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:54,900 THEY'RE DOING A SPIN-OFF, 190 00:08:54,900 --> 00:08:57,700 AND IT WILL BE SKATING WITH THE STARS. 191 00:08:57,700 --> 00:08:59,900 - AND THEY WANT YOU TO DO IT? 192 00:08:59,900 --> 00:09:01,667 - OH. YEAH. SORRY. 193 00:09:01,667 --> 00:09:03,300 [Cookie growls] 194 00:09:03,300 --> 00:09:05,433 - SKATING WITH THE STARS? - YEAH. ICE SKATING. 195 00:09:05,433 --> 00:09:06,867 - A SKATING SHOW. 196 00:09:06,867 --> 00:09:09,133 I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S THINKING AT TIMES. 197 00:09:09,133 --> 00:09:10,500 SHE'S A GOOD ROLLERBLADER. 198 00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:12,200 SHE'S GOOD ON ROLLER SKATES. 199 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:15,400 BUT I'VE NEVER SEEN HER ON ICE SKATES. 200 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:17,166 CAN YOU SKATE ON ICE, THOUGH? 201 00:09:17,166 --> 00:09:20,433 - I CAN SKATE. I MEAN... - LIKE, GOOD? 202 00:09:20,433 --> 00:09:22,834 - WELL, THEY DIDN'T ASK US IF WE WERE PROFESSIONALS. 203 00:09:22,834 --> 00:09:24,200 THEY SAID, "DO YOU KNOW HOW TO ICE-SKATE?" 204 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:25,800 I SAID, "YES, I DO." I HAVEN'T DONE IT IN YEARS. 205 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:27,166 - ARE YOU, LIKE, TERRIFIED 206 00:09:27,166 --> 00:09:29,800 OF, LIKE--YOU GOTTA GET CHOREOGRAPHED, EVERYTHING. 207 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:31,734 - THIS IS DEFINITELY RECAPTURING MY YOUTH. 208 00:09:31,734 --> 00:09:34,200 IT'S CRAZY AND EXCITING, 209 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:37,133 AND I ACTUALLY THINK I MIGHT BE ABLE TO WIN. 210 00:09:37,133 --> 00:09:39,200 - DANCING WITH THE STARS IS A THING, LIKE... 211 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:40,934 WOULDN'T THAT BE BETTER TO DO THAT? 212 00:09:40,934 --> 00:09:44,033 - I DON'T REALLY WANT TO DO THE 12TH OF ANYTHING. 213 00:09:44,033 --> 00:09:45,800 - BUT THE 12TH IS STILL, LIKE, BIG-- 214 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:47,667 - NO, IT'S HUGE! - MY MOTHER LOVES THAT SHOW. 215 00:09:47,667 --> 00:09:49,066 - I KNOW IT'S HUGE. 216 00:09:49,066 --> 00:09:50,600 IT'S NOT ABOUT IT. I JUST-- 217 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:52,100 I WOULD RATHER DO THE FIRST OF SOMETHING. 218 00:09:52,100 --> 00:09:54,700 - ALL RIGHT, SO THEN LET'S LIKE THINK 219 00:09:54,700 --> 00:09:56,467 ABOUT-- WHAT'S THE TIME COMMITMENT? 220 00:09:56,467 --> 00:09:58,233 YOU HAVE A MILLION DIFFERENT OTHER THINGS YOU'RE DOING. 221 00:09:58,233 --> 00:10:00,567 - IT'S A LOT. IT'S--JULIE! 222 00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:02,600 - I WANNA BE SUPPORTIVE OF BETHENNY. 223 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:05,533 BUT SOMETIMES I THINK SHE'S JUST TAKING ON WAY TOO MUCH. 224 00:10:05,533 --> 00:10:07,600 - OKAY, JULIE. - PRESENT. 225 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:09,266 - MOMMY. - HERE. 226 00:10:09,266 --> 00:10:10,467 - DADDY. HERE. 227 00:10:10,467 --> 00:10:12,700 COOKIE? - [barks] 228 00:10:12,700 --> 00:10:15,667 - OKAY, EVERYBODY'S HERE. LET'S START THE MEETING. 229 00:10:15,667 --> 00:10:17,200 WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS? 230 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,333 - I CAN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT AS ACTUALLY HAPPENING, 231 00:10:19,333 --> 00:10:21,233 'CAUSE I'M JUST THINKING OF THE SCHEDULE 232 00:10:21,233 --> 00:10:23,533 AND THE CRAZINESS AND THE EXHAUSTION. 233 00:10:23,533 --> 00:10:25,700 - BUT WHAT ABOUT IT? CAN WE PHYSICALLY DO IT? 234 00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:27,934 - LISTEN, SHE HAS A NEW HUSBAND, 235 00:10:27,934 --> 00:10:29,567 A NEW BABY, 236 00:10:29,567 --> 00:10:31,066 AND ALL OF THESE DEMANDS. 237 00:10:31,066 --> 00:10:32,567 HOW ARE YOU GONNA MAKE TIME? 238 00:10:32,567 --> 00:10:34,333 - I DON'T KNOW. - WHEN ARE YOU GONNA SLEEP? 239 00:10:34,333 --> 00:10:37,200 - I DON'T KNOW. 240 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,500 IT HAS TO BE SAYING NO TO EVERY OTHER THING, LIKE-- 241 00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:41,934 - EVERY OTHER THING. - WHO'S YOUR PARTNER? 242 00:10:41,934 --> 00:10:43,700 - I DON'T KNOW. I'M SURE HE'S GAY. 243 00:10:43,700 --> 00:10:45,266 - OH. THAT'S COOL, THEN. 244 00:10:45,266 --> 00:10:46,867 - BY THE WAY, THE BABY'S THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS. 245 00:10:46,867 --> 00:10:48,467 [Bryn crying] LIKE, THE BABY HAS TO BE... 246 00:10:48,467 --> 00:10:50,266 I'M, LIKE, GETTING MY MOMMY TIME. 247 00:10:50,266 --> 00:10:52,367 LIKE, IT WOULD BE BABY AND SKATING AND DADDY. 248 00:10:52,367 --> 00:10:55,400 - IT SEEMS... IT'S GONNA BE A LOT OF TIME. 249 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:56,600 - TELL ME WHAT YOU HONESTLY THINK. 250 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:57,834 SHOULD I DO IT, OR SHOULD I NOT DO IT? 251 00:10:57,834 --> 00:10:59,400 - SHE HAS HER MIND SET ON THIS. 252 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:02,533 SO I AM SUPER SUPPORTIVE OF HER. 253 00:11:02,533 --> 00:11:05,300 EVEN IF IT KILLS US ALL, WE'RE GONNA GET THROUGH IT. 254 00:11:05,300 --> 00:11:06,900 WE'LL DO IT. WHATEVER WE HAVE TO DO. 255 00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,300 WE HAVE TO COME OUT THERE. 256 00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:10,433 WE HAVE TO GO TO SOME OF YOUR PRACTICES 257 00:11:10,433 --> 00:11:13,300 SO YOU HAVE BABY AND DADDY TIME, WE'LL DO IT. 258 00:11:13,300 --> 00:11:15,066 - ALL RIGHT, SO YOU'RE IN? - I'M IN. 259 00:11:15,066 --> 00:11:16,400 - EVERYBODY IN. 260 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:19,667 WE'RE DOING IT. IT WILL BE A TEAM EFFORT. 261 00:11:19,667 --> 00:11:22,000 I'M GOING TO GO ON SKATING WITH THE STARS. 262 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:25,100 WELL, I FEEL LIKE I COULD MAYBE DO LIKE A CIRCLE SPIN. 263 00:11:25,100 --> 00:11:27,300 MAYBE IF I HAD TO, I COULD DO, LIKE, THIS SPIN. 264 00:11:27,300 --> 00:11:28,600 AND I FEEL LIKE... 265 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:30,800 LIKE STUFF LIKE THAT I COULD MAYBE DO. 266 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:33,934 - NO, GO OVER THERE LIKE-- OKAY, GO BACKWARDS, LIKE... 267 00:11:33,934 --> 00:11:35,233 - SKATING BACKWARDS? - SKATE BACKWARDS, 268 00:11:35,233 --> 00:11:37,000 AND THEN DO, LIKE, A JUMP. - HEY, COACH. 269 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,800 - GO! DO IT. YOU DO IT. GO DO IT. 270 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:40,800 YES! GO DO IT. I KNOW YOU KNOW HOW TO DO IT. 271 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:42,433 - LIKE THIS. - I DON'T HAVE THE BOOBS. 272 00:11:42,433 --> 00:11:44,200 - LIKE--LIKE THIS. 273 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:46,533 AND THEN YOU GO LIKE THAT, LIKE THAT. 274 00:11:46,533 --> 00:11:49,300 - WHY DON'T YOU DO SKATING WITH THE ASSISTANTS? 275 00:11:49,300 --> 00:11:51,100 NOT BAD, YAMAGUCH. 276 00:11:51,100 --> 00:11:53,600 - I'M GONNA DO MY SKATE MOVE INTO THE BEDROOM. 277 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:55,066 - GO. 278 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:58,767 - WHY DOES EVERYBODY DO IT BETTER THAN ME? 279 00:11:58,767 --> 00:12:00,734 I DON'T LIKE IT. I'M THE WORST OF ALL OF YOU. 280 00:12:00,734 --> 00:12:03,100 - IT'S 'CAUSE YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT IT-- 281 00:12:03,100 --> 00:12:04,734 YOU'RE GONNA OVERTHINK IT. - OH, MY GOD. 282 00:12:04,734 --> 00:12:06,367 SHE NEEDS A LOT OF WORK. - YOU CAN'T OVERTHINK IT. 283 00:12:06,367 --> 00:12:08,000 [laughing] YOU CAN'T OVERTHINK IT. 284 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,600 - OH, MY GOD. SHE NEEDS A LOT OF WORK. 285 00:12:23,767 --> 00:12:26,467 - HI. - HI. HOW ARE YOU? 286 00:12:26,467 --> 00:12:28,233 - SO WE GO EVERYWHERE TOGETHER. 287 00:12:28,233 --> 00:12:30,333 - SHE'S... I'M SORRY, SHE'S LIKE... 288 00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:32,166 I WANNA PICK HER UP AND SQUEEZE HER. 289 00:12:32,166 --> 00:12:36,166 - EVERYONE KEEPS HARPING ON THIS 40TH-BIRTHDAY PARTY. 290 00:12:36,166 --> 00:12:38,400 SO I THOUGHT I'LL HAVE LUNCH WITH SHAWN, 291 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,367 'CAUSE I DID HIRE HIM TO PLAN MY WEDDING. 292 00:12:40,367 --> 00:12:42,600 I JUST FIND HIM TO BE A FUNNY, ODD CHARACTER. 293 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:44,834 AND THERE'S ALWAYS THIS. 294 00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:48,700 I'M TURNING 40, SO... 295 00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:50,533 - AND... 296 00:12:50,533 --> 00:12:52,233 - DO PEOPLE DO PARTIES ON THEIR 40TH BIRTHDAY? 297 00:12:52,233 --> 00:12:53,967 IS THAT, LIKE, A THING? - HELL, YEAH. 298 00:12:53,967 --> 00:12:56,433 HUGE. - ISN'T IT 50 THAT'S A BIG ONE? 299 00:12:56,433 --> 00:12:57,967 - THAT CAN BE BIG, BUT 40'S BIG. 300 00:12:57,967 --> 00:12:59,734 - THAT'S THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES TURNING 40 301 00:12:59,734 --> 00:13:01,200 A CONVERSATION. 302 00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:02,967 OTHER THAN THAT, THE NUMBER DOESN'T AFFECT ME. 303 00:13:02,967 --> 00:13:05,333 I'M HAPPY. - DOES JASON WANT YOU TO DO IT? 304 00:13:05,333 --> 00:13:07,433 - JASON WANTS A PARTY EVERY DAMN DAY. 305 00:13:07,433 --> 00:13:09,266 - I-I THINK YOU SHOULD DO IT. 306 00:13:09,266 --> 00:13:10,967 I MEAN, IT'S A MILESTONE. - I REACHED 40. 307 00:13:10,967 --> 00:13:12,400 I MEAN, IT'S NOT THAT HARD TO DO. 308 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:13,967 YOU COULD IT IN A CORNER AND LIVE. 309 00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:15,166 - I'LL DO IT FOR YOU. 310 00:13:15,166 --> 00:13:16,967 - YOU HAVE NO TIME TO PLAN A PARTY FOR ME. 311 00:13:16,967 --> 00:13:18,734 I DON'T KNOW THAT I COULD AFFORD YOU NOW AGAIN. 312 00:13:18,734 --> 00:13:20,500 - MAYBE THAT'S MY GIFT. 313 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:23,834 - EVEN AFTER SHAWN INSISTING UPON GIVING THIS TO ME 314 00:13:23,834 --> 00:13:26,867 FOR MY BIRTHDAY AND HANDLING EVERYTHING... 315 00:13:26,867 --> 00:13:30,567 I'M STILL VERY RELUCTANT TO HAVE A PARTY, BUT... 316 00:13:30,567 --> 00:13:32,367 I GUESS I'LL HAVE A PARTY. 317 00:13:32,367 --> 00:13:34,000 WANNA COME OUT? 318 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:36,033 WE ARE BEST, BEST FRIENDS. 319 00:13:36,033 --> 00:13:38,400 YOU ROLL OVER NOW. - SHE DOES? 320 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:39,867 - OH, MY "GOODNY GRACEY." 321 00:13:39,867 --> 00:13:41,834 - OH, MY GOOD-- [gasps] HELLO. 322 00:13:41,834 --> 00:13:45,467 - OH, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, I'M GONNA ROAST YOU. 323 00:13:45,467 --> 00:13:48,333 - MY GOODNESS! - YOU'RE THE CUTEST THING. 324 00:13:48,333 --> 00:13:50,000 - BRYN, YOU'VE GOTTEN SO BIG. 325 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,967 - SHE'S-- - YOU ARE SO PRETTY. 326 00:13:51,967 --> 00:13:54,633 - SHE'S A NICE GIRL. - HELLO! 327 00:13:54,633 --> 00:13:56,233 YOU ARE SO PRECIOUS. 328 00:13:56,233 --> 00:13:58,834 YES, YOU ARE. [laughing] 329 00:13:58,834 --> 00:14:01,567 YOU ARE SO PRECIOUS! 330 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:08,266 - ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO IT. 331 00:14:08,266 --> 00:14:11,200 I'M INVITED TO BE A PRESENTER AT THE GLAAD AWARDS TONIGHT. 332 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:14,500 BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, I WANNA SET UP MY FRIEND JAKE. 333 00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:16,433 HE IS CUTE. HE IS SINGLE. 334 00:14:16,433 --> 00:14:17,967 HE'S GAY. 335 00:14:17,967 --> 00:14:20,233 AND WE ARE GOING TO A GAY BUFFET. 336 00:14:20,233 --> 00:14:22,033 I'M HAVING A GREAT TIME, AND I'M SORRY 337 00:14:22,033 --> 00:14:24,133 THAT I'M ALSO USING THIS EVENT TO FIND MY FRIEND A HUSBAND. 338 00:14:24,133 --> 00:14:26,166 - EVERYBODY NEEDS A HUSBAND. - SHE'S MY AMBASSADOR 339 00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:27,800 TO FIND ME A BOYFRIEND. - OH! 340 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,100 - ARE YOU GOING TO MOTORBOAT HER, 341 00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:30,567 OR AM I GONNA HAVE TO? I JUST WANNA KNOW. 342 00:14:30,567 --> 00:14:32,233 - I THINK WE COULD SHARE THE JOB. 343 00:14:32,233 --> 00:14:34,066 - WELL, WHAT ABOUT HIM? - HELLO! 344 00:14:34,066 --> 00:14:35,734 - WELL, HI, HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD. HOW ARE YOU? 345 00:14:35,734 --> 00:14:37,800 - DO WE KNOW EACH OTHER? - WHAT? NO, I DON'T! 346 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,066 - I'M BETHENNY. - I KNOW, BUT I WONDERED... 347 00:14:40,066 --> 00:14:42,367 - THIS IS JAKE. - OOH, YOU PICKED A GOOD ONE. 348 00:14:42,367 --> 00:14:43,867 - YES, HE'S CUTE! - YEAH. 349 00:14:43,867 --> 00:14:46,066 - WAIT. YOU'RE, LIKE, THE SEXY MR. ROGERS. 350 00:14:46,066 --> 00:14:47,500 - OH, THANK YOU. 351 00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:49,000 - SHE'S PRETENDING TO BE YOUR FRIEND UP HERE, 352 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,300 AND SHE'S HELPING ME FIND A GUY. 353 00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:51,867 - IT'S LIKE WE'VE NEVER LEFT THE HOUSE BEFORE. 354 00:14:51,867 --> 00:14:53,600 - THIS IS GREAT. EVERYWHERE WE TURN, 355 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:54,667 THERE'S MORE MEN. 356 00:14:54,667 --> 00:14:55,967 - YOU HAVE TO FOCUS. 357 00:14:55,967 --> 00:14:57,333 YOU HAVE A FISH ON THE LINE ALREADY. 358 00:14:57,333 --> 00:14:59,767 - I DO. THAT'S A CUTE FISH. 359 00:14:59,767 --> 00:15:01,066 - ONCE YOU HAVE A FISH ON THE LINE, 360 00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:02,266 YOU REEL IT IN AND COOK IT. 361 00:15:02,266 --> 00:15:05,867 JAKE HAS NO GAME. 362 00:15:05,867 --> 00:15:08,667 NO GAY-MM. 363 00:15:08,667 --> 00:15:10,767 - DON'T LEAVE ME OUT HERE. - WHY? OUT WHERE? 364 00:15:10,767 --> 00:15:12,300 - SHAYNE'S CUTE, RIGHT? - HE'S RIGHT HERE! 365 00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:13,934 - THE TWO OF YOU COULD NEGOTIATE A DEAL. 366 00:15:13,934 --> 00:15:15,600 - THIS IS WHY YOU'RE SINGLE. 367 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:17,734 YOU'RE STANDING WITH A MAN WHO WANTS TO TALK TO YOU, 368 00:15:17,734 --> 00:15:19,333 AND YOU'RE WALKING AWAY. - I KNOW. 369 00:15:19,333 --> 00:15:21,867 - I NEED TO TEACH YOU THE SCHLONG AND THE SHORT OF IT. 370 00:15:21,867 --> 00:15:23,633 I HAD NO IDEA THAT JAKE... 371 00:15:23,633 --> 00:15:25,667 WAS A FISH OUT OF WATER. 372 00:15:25,667 --> 00:15:28,400 I AM NOT USUALLY IN A ROOM FULL OF GAY MEN. 373 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:30,467 IF THIS WERE A ROOM FULL OF STRAIGHT MEN, 374 00:15:30,467 --> 00:15:32,500 I'D HAVE FIVE HUSBANDS BY THE TIME WE GOT TO THE CAR. 375 00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:34,367 I'M VERY CONFUSED. WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU? 376 00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:36,800 - I'M STUNNED. THEY JUST CAME SO FAST. 377 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:38,934 - SO MANY. - YOU PICKED THE BEST ONES. 378 00:15:38,934 --> 00:15:40,467 - THIS IS HOW I HAD SO MANY FIANCES. 379 00:15:40,467 --> 00:15:41,800 I KNOW HOW TO GO AND GET IN AND GET OUT-- 380 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:43,200 I MEAN, I'M VERY SURGICAL ABOUT IT. 381 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:44,367 I DON'T LIKE TO MESS AROUND. 382 00:15:44,367 --> 00:15:46,500 - I THINK BIG HANDS IS MY FAVORITE SO FAR. 383 00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:49,467 BEFORE I LOSE YOU, I WANNA GIVE YOU MY NUMBER. 384 00:15:49,467 --> 00:15:51,700 - OKAY, GREAT. - AND I WANT YOURS TOO. 385 00:15:52,734 --> 00:15:54,033 I GOT DIGITS, BABY! 386 00:15:54,033 --> 00:15:55,400 - REALLY? - THE CUTE ONE 387 00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:58,066 WITH THE BIG HANDS! - THERE'S ANOTHER ONE. 388 00:15:58,066 --> 00:15:59,633 INCOMING. INCOMING. WHO'S THE SPOTTER? 389 00:15:59,633 --> 00:16:01,767 I'M, LIKE, UP ON A LIFEGUARD CHAIR, BY THE WAY. 390 00:16:01,767 --> 00:16:03,700 I SEE THE SHARKS THE MINUTE THEY GET IN THE WATER. 391 00:16:03,700 --> 00:16:04,834 HI. - HOW YOU DOING? BARRY. 392 00:16:04,834 --> 00:16:06,100 - WHAT'S YOUR NAME? BARRY? 393 00:16:06,100 --> 00:16:07,800 NICE TO MEET YOU. THIS IS MY FRIEND JAKE. 394 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,934 - HI. NICE TO MEET YOU. - HOW ARE YOU? 395 00:16:09,934 --> 00:16:11,800 - ARE YOU IN ADVERTISING? - I'M REALLY GOOD 396 00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:14,100 AT ADVERTISING, AND I WORK FOR A 100-YEAR-OLD ORGANIZATION 397 00:16:14,100 --> 00:16:16,400 CALLED THE ASSOCIATION OF NATIONAL ADVERTISERS. 398 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,266 AND, UH... 399 00:16:18,266 --> 00:16:20,166 - I WAS ROOTING FOR THIS FISH. 400 00:16:20,166 --> 00:16:23,000 BY THE WAY, BE ON HIGH. GET EVERYBODY'S NUMBER NOW. 401 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,700 - I CAN'T DO IT-- - I'M GOING AWAY. 402 00:16:24,700 --> 00:16:27,133 I'M GOING INTO MY PURSE, AND YOU'RE GOING TO HANDLE IT. 403 00:16:27,133 --> 00:16:29,400 WHEN I HOVER, JAKE CHOKES. 404 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,900 I NEEDED TO STEP AWAY FROM THE SAUCE AND LET IT SIMMER. 405 00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:33,567 IT'S OVER? WE GOT IT? WHICH ONE? 406 00:16:33,567 --> 00:16:35,133 'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT DOING A THREE-WAY. 407 00:16:35,133 --> 00:16:36,633 THAT'S NOT ALLOWED. - WHY? 408 00:16:36,633 --> 00:16:38,567 - 'CAUSE YOU WANT TO FIND A HUSBAND. 409 00:16:38,567 --> 00:16:40,367 - JASON WOULD DIE. - HE WOULD LOVE IT. 410 00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:42,433 I'M NEVER LETTING HIM COME TO A GAY EVENT. 411 00:16:42,433 --> 00:16:43,900 HE WOULD BE ATTACKED HERE. 412 00:16:46,700 --> 00:16:49,166 RIGHT? [laughing] SORRY. 413 00:16:49,166 --> 00:16:50,567 - DID YOU JUST SAY GAY STREET MEAT? 414 00:16:50,567 --> 00:16:52,867 - YEAH. - OH, MY GOD, I AM GONNA HURL. 415 00:16:52,867 --> 00:16:55,166 - I KNOW JASON, YOUR HUSBAND. I GIVE HIM THE ONCE-OVER. 416 00:16:55,166 --> 00:16:57,200 HE'S A GOOD-LOOKING MAN. - HE'S VERY HOT. 417 00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,600 [crowd applauding] 418 00:17:08,467 --> 00:17:09,800 - FIRST OF ALL, THIS PLACE IS GREAT. 419 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:11,133 I LIKE THE LOCATION. - I KNOW. 420 00:17:11,133 --> 00:17:13,066 - HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE YOU GONNA HAVE? 421 00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:15,033 - WELL...I DON'T KNOW. 422 00:17:15,033 --> 00:17:16,467 40 OR SOMETHING? 423 00:17:16,467 --> 00:17:18,667 I'VE DECIDED TO DO A BIRTHDAY PARTY. 424 00:17:18,667 --> 00:17:21,133 SO SHAWN TOLD ME HE WANTED ME TO GO CHECK OUT 425 00:17:21,133 --> 00:17:22,700 THIS COOL RESTAURANT. 426 00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:24,700 SO I BROUGHT JAKE AND LAUREN ALONG. 427 00:17:24,700 --> 00:17:26,400 - HI. OH, LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL. 428 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,800 - WOW! - THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. 429 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:30,567 - THIS IS BEAUTIFUL! - NICE TO MEET YOU. 430 00:17:30,567 --> 00:17:32,233 I'M BETHENNY. - GOOD TO MEET YOU. FEDERICO. 431 00:17:32,233 --> 00:17:33,934 - THIS IS JAKE AND LAUREN. - HI. 432 00:17:33,934 --> 00:17:36,533 - HI. FEDERICO. - HEY, FEDERICO. JAKE. 433 00:17:36,533 --> 00:17:38,367 - THIS IS LIKE A BEAUTIFUL APARTMENT. 434 00:17:38,367 --> 00:17:40,266 - IT'S SO, LIKE, HOMEY-FEELING. - YEAH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 435 00:17:40,266 --> 00:17:42,033 - IT'S GOT THAT GREAT-- WHAT WE'RE TRYING TO REPLICATE 436 00:17:42,033 --> 00:17:43,300 IS BASICALLY THAT TUSCAN FARM. 437 00:17:43,300 --> 00:17:44,834 - LOVE IT. - I LIKE TO CALL IT 438 00:17:44,834 --> 00:17:46,800 HEAVEN AND HELL, AND DON'T GET SCARED BY THAT, 439 00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:48,266 BUT THIS IS THE HEAVEN, 440 00:17:48,266 --> 00:17:51,000 AND THEN THERE'S THE NICE SEXY LOUNGE DOWNSTAIRS. 441 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,867 - LET'S GO CHECK IT OUT. - LET'S GO TO HELL! 442 00:17:52,867 --> 00:17:55,500 - SHAWN FELL IN LOVE WITH IT, SO I THINK YOU'LL LIKE IT TOO. 443 00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:57,533 - SHAWN LIKES HELL? WELL, SHAWN PLANNED MY WEDDING. 444 00:17:57,533 --> 00:17:58,533 HE'S BEEN IN HELL. 445 00:17:58,533 --> 00:18:00,033 - THIS IS TZIGAN. 446 00:18:00,033 --> 00:18:01,367 - WOW! 447 00:18:01,367 --> 00:18:02,867 - IF YOU'RE FEELING IN A SILVERISH MOOD 448 00:18:02,867 --> 00:18:04,200 RIGHT OVER HERE, OR... 449 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:07,200 - THAT'S-- THAT'S SNOOP DOGG'S AREA. 450 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:09,100 - I LOVE IT DOWN HERE. DON'T GET ME WRONG. 451 00:18:09,100 --> 00:18:11,100 BUT I FEEL LIKE THIS IS GETTING RIGHT TO THE ACT. 452 00:18:11,100 --> 00:18:13,033 WE NEED A GOOD, LIKE, YOU KNOW... 453 00:18:13,033 --> 00:18:14,467 HAND JOB OR... 454 00:18:14,467 --> 00:18:15,867 - HERE'S WHERE YOU CAN SIT-- 455 00:18:15,867 --> 00:18:17,467 USUALLY, WE JUST NEED A GOOD HAND JOB. 456 00:18:17,467 --> 00:18:19,033 - YEAH, WE NEED SOME FOREPLAY. 457 00:18:19,033 --> 00:18:20,600 - UPSTAIRS. - UPSTAIRS. 458 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,000 - NOT THAT THIS ISN'T COOL... 459 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,567 - NO, THIS IS WHERE I COULD DO SOME HEROIN 460 00:18:23,567 --> 00:18:26,066 IF I WANTED TO AND SMOKE WEED WITH SNOOP. 461 00:18:26,066 --> 00:18:27,600 I'M TURNING 40. 462 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:30,467 I THINK IT'S TRUTHFULLY MORE WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW IN MY LIFE. 463 00:18:30,467 --> 00:18:33,467 I'D RATHER BE IN JUST THE NICER, COMFORTABLE 464 00:18:33,467 --> 00:18:35,133 ROMANTIC ROOM 465 00:18:35,133 --> 00:18:38,133 THAN BE DOWNSTAIRS IN THE RAUNCH HOLE. 466 00:18:38,133 --> 00:18:40,200 I FEEL LIKE JASON WOULD LIKE IT DOWN HERE, 467 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:43,600 'CAUSE HIS FRIENDS DON'T STAND UPRIGHT. 468 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,900 COMING UP... - IT'S "MINE" AND "I." 469 00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:48,867 ARE WE SEPARATE ENTITIES, OR ARE WE A COUPLE? 470 00:19:00,300 --> 00:19:02,433 - THIS IS NICE. I LIKE IT. 471 00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:04,400 - I TOTALLY THINK EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAID 472 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:05,800 RESONATED, THOUGH. 473 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,100 UPSTAIRS IS A 40TH-BIRTHDAY PARTY. 474 00:19:07,100 --> 00:19:08,967 DOWNSTAIRS IS 30, MAYBE EVEN YOUNGER. 475 00:19:08,967 --> 00:19:10,233 - YEAH. MAYBE 25. 476 00:19:10,233 --> 00:19:11,800 - WE WOULD HAVE BEEN DOING THAT, LIKE, 21. 477 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:13,767 IT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE BEST PARTY EVER. 478 00:19:13,767 --> 00:19:15,367 - NO. WE COULDN'T AFFORD TO GO THERE AT 21. 479 00:19:15,367 --> 00:19:16,567 THOSE DRINKS ARE, LIKE, $14 A DRINK. 480 00:19:16,567 --> 00:19:17,967 - YOU WOULD HAVE BLOWN SOMEBODY. 481 00:19:17,967 --> 00:19:20,166 - ABSOLUTELY. - IT'S CAVERNOUS AND CREEPY, 482 00:19:20,166 --> 00:19:21,467 AND IT REMINDS ME OF THE YEARS 483 00:19:21,467 --> 00:19:22,867 WE WERE ALL DOING THINGS WE SHOULDN'T BE DOING. 484 00:19:22,867 --> 00:19:25,567 - LIKE, IT REMINDS ME OF, LIKE, JET--REMEMBER THOSE-- 485 00:19:25,567 --> 00:19:26,800 - I KNOW, BUT I MISS THEM A LITTLE BIT. 486 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,233 CHEERS. - CHEERS. 487 00:19:28,233 --> 00:19:30,700 - HAPPY ALMOST 40TH, BABY. - I KNOW, MY GOD. 488 00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:33,033 - I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE LETTING YOURSELF HAVE A 40TH. 489 00:19:33,033 --> 00:19:34,734 I ACTUALLY THOUGHT THAT YOU AND I 490 00:19:34,734 --> 00:19:36,000 WERE GONNA HAVE TO TALK YOU INTO IT. 491 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,834 - I DON'T REALLY WANNA DO IT ENTIRELY. 492 00:19:37,834 --> 00:19:39,467 IT'S NOT VERY ME TO LIKE PLAN MY OWN PA-- 493 00:19:39,467 --> 00:19:40,767 - I HAD A WHOLE SPEECH PLANNED FOR YOU 494 00:19:40,767 --> 00:19:41,900 OF WHY YOU SHOULD DO THIS. 495 00:19:41,900 --> 00:19:43,533 DO YOU KNOW FOR THE FIRST YEARS-- 496 00:19:43,533 --> 00:19:45,133 - WELL, GIVE ME YOUR SPEECH. 497 00:19:45,133 --> 00:19:47,133 - IF YOU AND I WERE SITTING DOWN WHEN YOU WERE 35, 498 00:19:47,133 --> 00:19:49,600 ON A LAUNDRY LIST OF THINGS YOU COULD NEVER IMAGINE 499 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:50,934 EVERYWHERE YOU'VE COME. 500 00:19:50,934 --> 00:19:52,367 YOU'VE JUST ACCOMPLISHED SO MUCH. 501 00:19:52,367 --> 00:19:54,900 - THAT IS REALLY NICE. - YOUR DAUGHTER, YOUR HOME, 502 00:19:54,900 --> 00:19:56,500 YOUR CAREER. 503 00:19:56,500 --> 00:19:58,066 YOU HAVE TO LET THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU CELEBRATE YOU. 504 00:19:58,066 --> 00:19:59,400 - THAT WAS VERY NICE. 505 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:00,967 - IT'S TRUE. - VERY NICE. 506 00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:02,600 HE'S NOT ALLOWED TO SPEAK AT YOUR BIRTHDAY NOW. 507 00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:04,000 - I USED TO CALL HER ALL THE TIME 508 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,166 AND SAY, "DID YOUR FATHER CALL AND CONGRATULATE YOU? 509 00:20:06,166 --> 00:20:07,467 DID YOUR MOTHER CALL AND--" 510 00:20:07,467 --> 00:20:09,266 BUT IT DROVE ME CRAZY FOR YEARS 511 00:20:09,266 --> 00:20:10,667 THAT HER CAREER WOULD GET BIGGER AND BIGGER, 512 00:20:10,667 --> 00:20:12,133 AND YOU WOULD WORK HARDER AND HARDER, 513 00:20:12,133 --> 00:20:13,567 AND THERE WASN'T THAT SATISFACTION, 514 00:20:13,567 --> 00:20:14,967 AND NOW WE HAVE IT. 515 00:20:14,967 --> 00:20:16,333 AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE YOUR FAMILY. 516 00:20:16,333 --> 00:20:18,000 - THAT'S VERY SWEET. THANK YOU, JAKE. 517 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,400 JAKE BRINGING UP THAT MY FATHER NEVER CALLED ME 518 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:21,834 ON MY BIRTHDAY 519 00:20:21,834 --> 00:20:24,066 KIND OF JUST REMINDED ME... 520 00:20:24,066 --> 00:20:26,066 WHAT I DON'T LOVE SO MUCH ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY. 521 00:20:26,066 --> 00:20:27,567 TELL HER WHAT HAPPENED AT GLAAD. 522 00:20:27,567 --> 00:20:29,500 - I GOT A LITTLE LECTURE IN THE CAR ON THE WAY THERE-- 523 00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:30,700 - FROM? - FROM BETHENNY. 524 00:20:30,700 --> 00:20:32,667 - ABOUT? - ALTHOUGH THIS IS 525 00:20:32,667 --> 00:20:34,500 ALL FUN AND GAMES AND I'M NOT SO YOUNG ANYMORE, 526 00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:36,700 IT'S TIME TO MEET SOMEBODY... - I AGREE. 527 00:20:36,700 --> 00:20:38,033 - AND THIS IS A GOOD PLACE TO DO IT. 528 00:20:38,033 --> 00:20:39,500 - NO, BECAUSE HE HAS A.D.D. OF, LIKE, MEN. 529 00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:42,100 - RIGHT. - I GO, "I'M NOT A GOOD CLOSER." 530 00:20:42,100 --> 00:20:43,633 SHE GOES, "YOU'RE NOT A GOOD OPENER." 531 00:20:43,633 --> 00:20:46,000 - HOWEVER, THAT NIGHT-- - WE MET REALLY NICE GUYS. 532 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:47,500 ONE WAS THIS GUY WHO, UNFORTUNATELY, 533 00:20:47,500 --> 00:20:49,133 ENDED UP BEING FROM SAN FRANCISCO. 534 00:20:49,133 --> 00:20:51,567 HOT MR. ROGERS. - SEXY MR. ROGERS--SHAYNE. 535 00:20:53,867 --> 00:20:56,300 - BUT-- - THE OTHER GUY, THE CUTE GUY. 536 00:20:56,300 --> 00:20:57,333 - EXACTLY. BARRY. 537 00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:01,734 38 YEARS OLD, IN ADVERTISING. 538 00:21:01,734 --> 00:21:04,200 HE'S A REALLY NICE, SMART GUY. - IS HE INTO YOU? 539 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,233 - I TEXTED HIM TO INVITE HIM TO DINNER. 540 00:21:06,233 --> 00:21:08,567 HE SAID, "YES, BUT ARE YOU FREE TO SPEAK ON THE PHONE TONIGHT?" 541 00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:10,467 - I LOVE HIM. WE'RE MARRYING HIM. IT'S OVER. 542 00:21:10,467 --> 00:21:12,367 ALL RIGHT, SO HE'S-- WE'RE GOING OUT TO DINNER. 543 00:21:12,367 --> 00:21:13,867 I'M SORRY, YOU'RE NOT INVOLVED IN ANY OF THIS. 544 00:21:13,867 --> 00:21:15,834 - WHY AM I HERE? 545 00:21:15,834 --> 00:21:18,600 - WE'RE GOING ON A DOUBLE DATE. DONE. SORRY. 546 00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:20,533 - AND THIS IS A FRESH START FOR ME TOO. 547 00:21:20,533 --> 00:21:22,700 DOUBLE DATES ARE HEALTHY. THAT'S A FUN THING TO DO. 548 00:21:22,700 --> 00:21:24,667 - OH, MY GOD, IT'S OVER. WE'RE HAVING A DATE, 549 00:21:24,667 --> 00:21:26,500 AND THAT'S IT. - LIKE I SAID, CHEERS TO ME. 550 00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:28,333 I'M HAVING SO MUCH FUN BY MYSELF. 551 00:21:28,333 --> 00:21:30,400 [laughter] 552 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:32,367 IF I WEREN'T ME, I'D BE MY BEST FRIEND. 553 00:21:32,367 --> 00:21:33,467 [laughter] 554 00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:42,333 - IT'S NICE OUT. - I KNOW. 555 00:21:42,333 --> 00:21:45,800 - I'M THINKING THE BIRTHDAY BEING AFTER--JUST DOING-- 556 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:47,233 - SHH! - WHAT DO YOU THINK-- 557 00:21:47,233 --> 00:21:49,567 DID YOU "SHH" ME? - NO, HER. 558 00:21:49,567 --> 00:21:51,400 - OH. COCKTAILS AND HORS D'OEUVRES? 559 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:53,767 - I WOULD LIKE TO "SHH" YOU. - COCKTAILS AND HORS D'OEUVRES? 560 00:21:53,767 --> 00:21:56,633 - I ENVISION COCKTAILS AND JUST APPETIZERS. 561 00:21:56,633 --> 00:21:59,000 - OH, THAT'S WHAT--OKAY, THEN IT HAS TO BE AFTER 9:00. 562 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:00,967 YOU CAN'T INVITE PEOPLE AT DINNERTIME... 563 00:22:00,967 --> 00:22:02,433 AND THEN NOT FEED THEM DINNER, OTHERWISE... 564 00:22:02,433 --> 00:22:04,467 - OH, IS THAT A ETIQUETTE THING OR...? 565 00:22:04,467 --> 00:22:05,834 - YEAH, I MEAN, KIND OF. 566 00:22:05,834 --> 00:22:07,767 [Bryn cries] YOU WANNA COME OUT AND PLAY? 567 00:22:07,767 --> 00:22:10,567 - SO IF YOU'RE DOING A WEEKEND FOR YOUR PARTY AT 9:00 568 00:22:10,567 --> 00:22:12,600 AFTER 9:00 IS GREAT. WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME THAT-- 569 00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,100 - BECAUSE IT'S ALWAYS, LIKE-- 570 00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:16,133 - I'M GONNA MAKE A GOOD POINT HERE, AND YOU'RE, LIKE-- 571 00:22:16,133 --> 00:22:17,800 - ALL RIGHT, I'M IN, I'M IN. I'M GOING, I'M READY. 572 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:19,133 LET'S DO IT. - WHY DO YOU DO THAT TO ME? 573 00:22:19,133 --> 00:22:20,834 [Bryn crying] - I DON'T KNOW. 574 00:22:20,834 --> 00:22:22,400 - DO I HAVE TO JUST SAY, "YES, BETHENNY, 575 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:23,400 YES, BETHENNY"? - NO. TELL ME. 576 00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:24,800 - THIS IS MY POINT. 577 00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:26,667 IF YOU DO IT DURING THE WEEK, AFTER 9:00, 578 00:22:26,667 --> 00:22:28,834 PEOPLE AREN'T GONNA WANT TO COME THAT LATE. 579 00:22:28,834 --> 00:22:30,300 - THEN WE HAVE TO GIVE THEM DINNER. 580 00:22:30,300 --> 00:22:31,567 - SO GIVE ME THE LOOK AGAIN. 581 00:22:31,567 --> 00:22:33,133 - NO, BUT YOU CAN NEVER JUST BE LIKE, 582 00:22:33,133 --> 00:22:34,533 "GREAT, IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY. LET'S DO IT." 583 00:22:34,533 --> 00:22:35,867 YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO HAVE SOMETHING ELSE TO ADD. 584 00:22:35,867 --> 00:22:38,600 - BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE ASKING ME MY OPINION, 585 00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:40,333 OR ARE YOU TELLING ME? - NO, I ASKED YOUR OPINION. 586 00:22:40,333 --> 00:22:42,100 YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M WRONG. YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT. 587 00:22:42,100 --> 00:22:47,166 - SO WHAT'S YOUR IDEA AS FAR AS AMOUNT OF PEOPLE? 588 00:22:47,166 --> 00:22:49,233 - UM, I DON'T WANT IT TO BE CRAZY, 589 00:22:49,233 --> 00:22:51,800 SO I'M THINKING, LIKE, MAYBE... 590 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:53,433 35 TO 40 PEOPLE. 591 00:22:53,433 --> 00:22:57,667 - I HAVE PROBABLY FOUR OR FIVE COUPLES THAT I WOULD BRING. 592 00:22:57,667 --> 00:23:00,066 - SO I GET 25 AND YOU GET 10 PEOPLE? 593 00:23:00,066 --> 00:23:01,767 - IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, BABY. 594 00:23:01,767 --> 00:23:03,700 - IF YOU HAVE FIVE COUPLES, 595 00:23:03,700 --> 00:23:05,734 I MAY HAVE TO CUT PEOPLE ON MY LIST, 596 00:23:05,734 --> 00:23:08,033 AND I'M FEELING AWKWARD ABOUT CUTTING PEOPLE ON MY LIST 597 00:23:08,033 --> 00:23:09,767 ON MY BIRTHDAY. 598 00:23:09,767 --> 00:23:12,200 - I-I MEAN, IS IT THAT UNREALISTIC 599 00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:15,533 TO THINK THAT MY FRIENDS WOULD WANT TO CELEBRATE 600 00:23:15,533 --> 00:23:17,233 YOUR 40TH BIRTHDAY PARTY? 601 00:23:17,233 --> 00:23:19,200 - IT'S NOT UNREALISTIC TO THINK THAT YOUR FRIENDS 602 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:21,767 WOULD WANT TO CELEBRATE MY 40TH BIRTHDAY PARTY. 603 00:23:21,767 --> 00:23:24,433 BUT IF I'M GONNA BE LEAVING SOME OF MY FRIENDS OUT 604 00:23:24,433 --> 00:23:27,533 OF MY 40TH BIRTHDAY, THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT. 605 00:23:27,533 --> 00:23:30,200 - ARE WE--ARE WE--ARE WE... 606 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,367 SEPARATE ENTITIES, OR ARE WE A COUPLE? 607 00:23:32,367 --> 00:23:33,633 - NO, WE'RE A COUPLE. I'M JUST-- 608 00:23:33,633 --> 00:23:35,367 - THAT'S NOT HOW YOU'RE TALKING. 609 00:23:35,367 --> 00:23:37,033 YOU'RE TALKING LIKE IT'S BETHENNY, AND IT'S JASON. 610 00:23:37,033 --> 00:23:38,867 - BUT I WOULDN'T TELL YOU THAT I NEED TEN OF MY FRIENDS 611 00:23:38,867 --> 00:23:40,934 TO BE AT YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY. - WE'RE HUSBAND AND WIFE. 612 00:23:40,934 --> 00:23:42,667 - YES! - IT'S "MINE" AND "I," 613 00:23:42,667 --> 00:23:44,266 "MINE" AND "I." 614 00:23:44,266 --> 00:23:46,500 - OKAY. - YOU'RE MARRIED NOW, BETHENNY. 615 00:23:46,500 --> 00:23:48,266 - YOU'RE RIGHT. - YOU'RE MY WIFE. 616 00:23:48,266 --> 00:23:50,834 WE HAVE NOW MUTUAL FRIENDS. 617 00:23:50,834 --> 00:23:52,633 - YOU'RE RIGHT. 618 00:23:52,633 --> 00:23:54,233 BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE 619 00:23:54,233 --> 00:23:55,600 IF I DON'T INVITE YOUR FRIENDS, 620 00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:56,967 I'M NOT INTO FRIENDS, I'M NOT INTO FAMILY. 621 00:23:56,967 --> 00:23:59,100 LIKE, IT'S MY 40TH-BIRTHDAY PARTY. 622 00:23:59,100 --> 00:24:00,767 - OH, MY GOD. HERE WE GO AGAIN. 623 00:24:00,767 --> 00:24:02,967 "MY, MY, MY, MY." 624 00:24:02,967 --> 00:24:04,967 - IT'S NOT LIKE THAT, JASON. - IT IS LIKE THAT. 625 00:24:04,967 --> 00:24:06,266 YOU JUST CAN'T SEE IT. 626 00:24:06,266 --> 00:24:08,133 - NOW I'M WRONG AGAIN ABOUT SOMETHING, 627 00:24:08,133 --> 00:24:09,500 AND I'M JUST DOING WHAT I FEEL. 628 00:24:09,500 --> 00:24:11,700 I FEEL BAD NOW. I FEEL BAD. 629 00:24:11,700 --> 00:24:13,333 I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. 630 00:24:13,333 --> 00:24:15,700 - I DON'T WANT--MY INTENT IS NOT TO MAKE YOU FEEL BAD. 631 00:24:15,700 --> 00:24:17,867 BUT THERE'S SOME TIMES WHERE I HAVE TO CALL IT 632 00:24:17,867 --> 00:24:21,066 TO YOUR ATTENTION THAT THIS IS HOW YOU'RE BEING. 633 00:24:21,066 --> 00:24:23,100 BETHENNY AND I-- WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER 634 00:24:23,100 --> 00:24:24,600 FOR A SHORT TIME. 635 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:28,100 WE'RE STILL KIND OF FIGURING EACH OTHER OUT. 636 00:24:28,100 --> 00:24:31,166 WHAT'S WRONG, MOMMY? DID I RUIN OUR WALK OR WHAT? 637 00:24:31,166 --> 00:24:32,867 - PROBABLY I RUINED IT. I GUESS I-I-- 638 00:24:32,867 --> 00:24:34,734 I GUESS MY BRAIN DOESN'T-- 639 00:24:34,734 --> 00:24:36,900 - WELL, I DON'T WANT YOU TO BEAT YOURSELF UP. 640 00:24:36,900 --> 00:24:38,400 IT'S ONLY A PARTY. 641 00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:40,066 WELL, CAN WE TRY TO TURN AROUND 642 00:24:40,066 --> 00:24:41,734 THE THOUGHT OF BIRTHDAYS FOR YOU... 643 00:24:41,734 --> 00:24:44,433 STARTING WITH THIS ONE? - SURE. 644 00:24:44,433 --> 00:24:45,800 - 'CAUSE YOU KNOW WHY? 645 00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:49,100 SOMEONE TURNS ONE NEXT YEAR. - I KNOW. 646 00:24:49,100 --> 00:24:51,100 WELL, HER BIRTHDAY'S ALWAYS GONNA BE GREAT. 647 00:24:51,100 --> 00:24:53,000 - AND BIRTHDAYS WILL BE FUN, NO? 648 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:54,500 - YES, HER BIRTHDAY WILL BE VERY FUN. 649 00:24:54,500 --> 00:24:55,834 - 'CAUSE YOU HAVE A NEW FAMILY. 650 00:24:55,834 --> 00:24:57,667 - I KNOW. - RIGHT? 651 00:24:59,100 --> 00:25:00,667 WE'LL MAKE 'EM FUN FOR YOU. 652 00:25:00,667 --> 00:25:03,533 - IT'S OKAY, JASON. IT'S OKAY. 653 00:25:03,533 --> 00:25:05,633 THIS CONVERSATION MADE ME 654 00:25:05,633 --> 00:25:07,033 NOT WANNA HAVE THE PARTY. 655 00:25:07,033 --> 00:25:09,867 IT'S JUST BECOMING SOMETHING THAT I KNEW IT WOULD, 656 00:25:09,867 --> 00:25:11,400 AND I DIDN'T WANT TO, 657 00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:12,900 AND I DON'T WANT TO HURT JASON'S FEELINGS. 658 00:25:12,900 --> 00:25:15,200 - THANK GOD FOR THESE WALKS, HUH? 659 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:18,433 SHE GETS KNOCKED OUT. - I KNOW. SHE'S PASSED OUT. 660 00:25:29,300 --> 00:25:31,633 - HI. - HI. 661 00:25:31,633 --> 00:25:34,133 - HOW DO YOU WANT TO START? 662 00:25:34,133 --> 00:25:35,700 - I'M DOING SKATING WITH THE STARS. 663 00:25:35,700 --> 00:25:37,600 - YOU'RE DOING SKATING WITH THE STARS. 664 00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:39,166 - YEAH. IT'S A SPIN-OFF OF DANCING WITH THE STARS. 665 00:25:39,166 --> 00:25:40,567 - AND YOU KNOW HOW TO ICE-SKATE? 666 00:25:40,567 --> 00:25:42,367 - LIKE EVERY CHILD KNOWS HOW TO ICE-SKATE. 667 00:25:42,367 --> 00:25:43,934 - SO YOU'RE GONNA WEAR A HELMET OR...? 668 00:25:43,934 --> 00:25:46,500 - I DON'T THINK IT WILL GO WITH THE GLITTERY COSTUMES. 669 00:25:46,500 --> 00:25:49,233 MAYBE IT'S AN EARLY MIDLIFE CRISIS, SINCE I'M TURNING 40. 670 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:53,467 - SO HOW ARE YOU FEELING ABOUT TURNING 40 IN TWO WEEKS? 671 00:25:53,467 --> 00:25:55,500 - I NEVER LOVED MY BIRTHDAY. 672 00:25:55,500 --> 00:25:58,500 I NEVER, EVER HAVE HEARD FROM MY FATHER ON MY BIRTHDAY. 673 00:25:58,500 --> 00:26:00,667 IT WAS ALWAYS SORT OF A DISAPPOINTMENT. 674 00:26:00,667 --> 00:26:02,934 - SO HE NEVER CALLED OR WROTE A LETTER ON YOUR BIRTHDAY? 675 00:26:02,934 --> 00:26:05,266 - NO, HE DIDN'T. HIS, UH, BOOKKEEPER 676 00:26:05,266 --> 00:26:07,233 WOULD SEND ME A CARD WITH HER SIGNATURE 677 00:26:07,233 --> 00:26:08,934 AND A $500 CHECK. 678 00:26:08,934 --> 00:26:10,467 - IT'S YOUR MOM'S BIRTHDAY TOO, RIGHT? 679 00:26:10,467 --> 00:26:11,934 - IT'S MY MOTHER'S BIRTHDAY. 680 00:26:11,934 --> 00:26:13,400 I GUESS I THINK ABOUT THE FACT 681 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:16,533 THAT SHE WILL BE TURNING 60 WHEN I'M TURNING 40. 682 00:26:16,533 --> 00:26:18,867 - WHAT ARE YOU THINKING NOW? - EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING 683 00:26:18,867 --> 00:26:20,333 IS THAT I'M DOING A BIRTHDAY PARTY, 684 00:26:20,333 --> 00:26:21,700 AND I'M KIND OF DOING IT 685 00:26:21,700 --> 00:26:24,433 BECAUSE EVERYONE AROUND ME SUGGESTED IT AND... 686 00:26:24,433 --> 00:26:26,300 THAT I DON'T REALLY CARE IF WE DO IT OR NOT. 687 00:26:26,300 --> 00:26:27,867 - WHAT DO YOU IMAGINE WHEN BRYN TURNS ONE? 688 00:26:27,867 --> 00:26:29,133 DO YOU WANNA HAVE A PARTY FOR HER? 689 00:26:29,133 --> 00:26:30,834 - OH, MY GOD, FOR BRYN, ABSOLUTELY. 690 00:26:30,834 --> 00:26:31,900 - WHY? - WHY? 691 00:26:31,900 --> 00:26:34,100 - YEAH. - BECAUSE SHE'S JUST, LIKE, 692 00:26:34,100 --> 00:26:35,667 THIS LITTLE GIRLIE GIRL IN PINK RUFFLES, 693 00:26:35,667 --> 00:26:38,367 AND SHE HAS EVERYTHING AND THE MOST LOVE, 694 00:26:38,367 --> 00:26:40,000 AND SO IT'S JUST, LIKE-- 695 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,100 IT'S TOTAL BRYN FOR US TO HAVE A BIG 696 00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:43,900 PINK BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR HER. 697 00:26:43,900 --> 00:26:45,667 BUT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, EVEN STILL, 698 00:26:45,667 --> 00:26:47,700 IT'S JUST NOT REALLY ME. 699 00:26:47,700 --> 00:26:49,500 - DO YOU REMEMBER THE FIRST THING YOU SAID TO ME 700 00:26:49,500 --> 00:26:50,633 ABOUT YOUR BIRTHDAY? 701 00:26:50,633 --> 00:26:52,300 - NO. - THE VERY FIRST THING YOU SAID 702 00:26:52,300 --> 00:26:55,567 WAS MY FATHER NEVER CALLED OR SENT A CARD. 703 00:26:58,133 --> 00:27:00,500 WHAT DO YOU SEE WHEN YOU SEE BRYN WITH JASON? 704 00:27:00,500 --> 00:27:01,900 - IT'S THE NICEST-- 705 00:27:01,900 --> 00:27:04,133 AND HIS FEELINGS FOR HER, AND HE MAKES HER LAUGH, 706 00:27:04,133 --> 00:27:05,900 AND HE'S SILLY WITH HER. 707 00:27:05,900 --> 00:27:06,934 - MM-HMM. 708 00:27:08,633 --> 00:27:10,900 - VERY SWEET. 709 00:27:13,867 --> 00:27:15,700 - WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT? 710 00:27:15,700 --> 00:27:17,867 - [voice breaking] I DON'T KNOW THAT I EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, 711 00:27:17,867 --> 00:27:19,667 BUT I GUESS, LIKE, THAT WAS, LIKE, PAVLOVIAN, 712 00:27:19,667 --> 00:27:21,900 AND I THOUGHT OF JASON WITH HER, AND, LIKE, I DIDN'T HAVE THAT. 713 00:27:21,900 --> 00:27:23,533 BUT WHO CARES? 714 00:27:23,533 --> 00:27:25,433 A LOT OF PEOPLE DIDN'T HAVE THAT, YOU KNOW? 715 00:27:25,433 --> 00:27:27,133 LIKE SITTING HERE AND GOING ON ABOUT MY PARENTS 716 00:27:27,133 --> 00:27:28,967 THAT, LIKE, COULDN'T GIVE A [bleep] ABOUT ME. 717 00:27:28,967 --> 00:27:30,934 - DO YOU THINK YOU GO ON ABOUT YOUR PARENTS? 718 00:27:30,934 --> 00:27:32,600 - I GUESS. I WOULDN'T WANT TO KNOW 719 00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:35,333 THESE PEOPLE IF I SAW THEM AT A DINNER PARTY. 720 00:27:35,333 --> 00:27:36,600 LIKE, THEY'RE NOT LIKEABLE. 721 00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:38,967 MY FATHER WAS A TOTAL [bleep]. 722 00:27:38,967 --> 00:27:40,400 AND EVERYONE KNOWS THAT. 723 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:44,000 AND MY MOTHER WAS JEALOUS OF ME MY ENTIRE LIFE. 724 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,133 SHE USED TO SAY TO ME, "YOU'RE BORING 725 00:27:46,133 --> 00:27:47,934 'CAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A NIGHTCLUB," 726 00:27:47,934 --> 00:27:49,233 WHEN I WAS 13 YEARS OLD. 727 00:27:49,233 --> 00:27:51,100 SHE'S A [bleep]-UP CRAZY LUNATIC. 728 00:27:51,100 --> 00:27:52,533 MY STEPFATHER WAS A CRAZY MAN. 729 00:27:52,533 --> 00:27:54,300 I WOULD PRAY THAT WE COULD MOVE AWAY FROM HIM, 730 00:27:54,300 --> 00:27:56,633 AN THEN I'D COME BACK TO GET MY CLOTHES, 731 00:27:56,633 --> 00:27:58,333 AND SHE'D BE HAVING SEX WITH MY STEPFATHER, 732 00:27:58,333 --> 00:28:00,000 'CAUSE I WOULD HEAR IT, AND I WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND 733 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,934 WHY SHE'S [bleep] MY STEPFATHER. 734 00:28:01,934 --> 00:28:04,400 I'M LUCKY I'M LIKE... JUST EXISTING. 735 00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:06,734 [sniffles] 736 00:28:10,133 --> 00:28:11,967 SO I DON'T REALLY CARE WHAT SHE SAYS, 737 00:28:11,967 --> 00:28:14,400 BECAUSE IT'S LIKE I FEEL SORRY FOR HER. 738 00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:15,934 IT'S NOT THAT I--YOU KNOW? I--I-- 739 00:28:15,934 --> 00:28:17,700 - BETHENNY. - WHAT? 740 00:28:17,700 --> 00:28:19,200 - Y-YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE YOU DON'T CARE. 741 00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:21,800 - 'CAUSE I'M TRYING TO CONVINCE MYSELF 742 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:23,200 THAT NONE OF THIS HAPPENED. - MM-HMM. 743 00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:24,433 - IT SOUNDS LIKE I'M MAKING IT UP 744 00:28:24,433 --> 00:28:26,900 WHEN I SAY IT OUT LOUD, BECAUSE IT'S SO [bleep] CRAZY. 745 00:28:26,900 --> 00:28:28,533 BUT IT DIDN'T FEEL THAT CRAZY THEN. 746 00:28:28,533 --> 00:28:30,100 IT REALLY DIDN'T. - IT'S WHAT YOU KNOW. 747 00:28:30,100 --> 00:28:31,834 - I DID NOT FEEL TRAUMATIZED AS A CHILD. 748 00:28:31,834 --> 00:28:33,967 I HAD SOME HAPPY TIMES. WE DID A LOT OF NICE THINGS. 749 00:28:33,967 --> 00:28:35,967 IT WASN'T LIKE EVERY DAY I WAS THINKING 750 00:28:35,967 --> 00:28:37,467 I WAS IN A SCREWED-UP HOUSEHOLD. 751 00:28:37,467 --> 00:28:38,867 I JUST DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING. 752 00:28:38,867 --> 00:28:41,767 - WE MAKE DECISIONS BASED AT THIS LEVEL 753 00:28:41,767 --> 00:28:43,500 AND AT THIS LEVEL, AND WE'RE NOT ALWAYS AWARE 754 00:28:43,500 --> 00:28:45,233 OF WHAT'S HAPPENING IN OUR GUT. 755 00:28:45,233 --> 00:28:46,533 THERE'S A LOT GOING ON IN YOUR GUT... 756 00:28:46,533 --> 00:28:47,900 - YEAH, I KNOW. 757 00:28:47,900 --> 00:28:49,900 - THAT YOU TRY TO SKATE OVER-- NO PUN INTENDED. 758 00:28:49,900 --> 00:28:51,934 I'M CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR PAST 759 00:28:51,934 --> 00:28:54,000 THAT YOU BROUGHT INTO THIS ROOM TO TALK ABOUT 760 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:57,000 AND HOW IT MIGHT AFFECT YOUR FUTURE. 761 00:29:00,734 --> 00:29:02,033 - COMING UP... 762 00:29:02,033 --> 00:29:03,266 YOU LIKE TO CONTROL YOUR WOMAN. 763 00:29:03,266 --> 00:29:04,600 - EXACTLY. - THAT'S WHAT THIS IS. 764 00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:06,734 - I WANT TO TAKE YOU WHERE I'M GONNA GO. 765 00:29:06,734 --> 00:29:08,066 - WELL, NOBODY CONTROLS ME, 766 00:29:08,066 --> 00:29:09,834 BUT THIS'LL BE THE CLOSEST ANYBODY EVER GETS. 767 00:29:09,834 --> 00:29:10,834 - ALL RIGHT. 768 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:19,700 - OH, MY GOD, THE JUGS. 769 00:29:19,700 --> 00:29:22,734 - OH, NICE! - THAT'S THE SKINNYGIRL JUGS. 770 00:29:22,734 --> 00:29:24,000 - JUGS? - JUGS. 771 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:25,700 - I LOVE IT. - SIZE DOES MATTER. 772 00:29:25,700 --> 00:29:27,066 - THAT'S GREAT. 773 00:29:27,066 --> 00:29:28,834 - 'CAUSE THEY THOUGHT IT WASN'T BIG ENOUGH. 774 00:29:28,834 --> 00:29:30,900 NOW WE NEED TO HOLD THEM, HAVE THEM IN A PACK OF TWO. 775 00:29:30,900 --> 00:29:33,734 "YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO GET ENOUGH OF OUR JUGS." 776 00:29:33,734 --> 00:29:35,834 - [laughing] - "YOU'LL LOVE OUR JUGS"! 777 00:29:35,834 --> 00:29:37,200 JUGS! 778 00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:39,200 - I LIKE "SIZE DOES MATTER." - SIZE DOES MATTER. 779 00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:40,300 CHEERS... 780 00:29:40,300 --> 00:29:41,400 TO JUGS. - WOW. 781 00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:43,200 - TO JUGS. I LOVE JUGS. 782 00:29:53,233 --> 00:29:55,467 - ARE YOU BETHENNY'S PRO? - ARE YOU MY PRO? 783 00:29:55,467 --> 00:29:57,066 HOW ARE YOU, SIR? 784 00:29:57,066 --> 00:29:59,667 WAIT! I'M GONNA HAVE A GOOD PAIR OF THESE? 785 00:29:59,667 --> 00:30:02,000 TELL ME EVERYTHING. LET'S DO IT. 786 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,000 WE HAVE ABOUT SIX WEEKS TO PRACTICE, 787 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:06,667 AND THEN WE ICE-SKATE A ROUTINE 788 00:30:06,667 --> 00:30:08,600 IN FRONT OF A LIVE AUDIENCE. 789 00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:10,367 THIS IS THE TYPE OF THING THAT CRAZY PEOPLE DO 790 00:30:10,367 --> 00:30:12,300 WHEN THEY'RE ABOUT TO UNRAVEL. 791 00:30:12,300 --> 00:30:14,867 DO I LOOK LIKE A NATURAL? AM I GONNA HAVE THIS THING DOWN? 792 00:30:14,867 --> 00:30:16,934 - YOU HAVE PERFECT LEGS FOR A SKATER. 793 00:30:16,934 --> 00:30:18,633 YOU'RE SLIGHTLY BOWLEGGED-- 794 00:30:18,633 --> 00:30:21,266 - SLIGHTLY BOWLEGGED? WE ROLLED RIGHT OVER. 795 00:30:21,266 --> 00:30:22,467 - YOU HAVE VERY SKINNY HEELS. 796 00:30:22,467 --> 00:30:24,066 - I DO? - YES, YOU DO. 797 00:30:24,066 --> 00:30:26,066 AND YOU ALSO HAVE A BONE SPUR. 798 00:30:26,066 --> 00:30:27,433 - WHAT IS A BONE SPUR? 799 00:30:27,433 --> 00:30:29,800 - IT'S THIS BONE THAT STICKS OUT A LITTLE BIT. 800 00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:31,166 - YOU'RE TURNING ME ON RIGHT NOW. 801 00:30:31,166 --> 00:30:33,166 IS THAT BAD? - UH, THAT DEPENDS. 802 00:30:33,166 --> 00:30:35,867 AS LONG AS MY WIFE DOESN'T OBJECT TO THINGS. 803 00:30:35,867 --> 00:30:37,467 - HE'S TURNING ME ON RIGHT NOW. 804 00:30:37,467 --> 00:30:38,700 HE SAID BONE SPUR. 805 00:30:38,700 --> 00:30:40,600 SORRY. [Joseph laughing] 806 00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:42,300 - YOU KNOW YOU COULD WEAR A DRESS IF YOU LIKE. 807 00:30:42,300 --> 00:30:43,734 - JAKE, WHICH ONE? I LIKE THIS. 808 00:30:43,734 --> 00:30:45,800 DO YOU LIKE THE SEXY ONE? 809 00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:48,100 IT'S A LITTLE SMALL, BUT I WANT TO GET THE IDEA. 810 00:30:48,100 --> 00:30:49,834 YOU NEED TO ZIP ME UP. OH, MY GOD. 811 00:30:49,834 --> 00:30:51,066 OH, MY GOD! 812 00:30:51,066 --> 00:30:53,133 - BETHENNY CAME OUT OF THE DRESSING ROOM 813 00:30:53,133 --> 00:30:55,567 AND WAS THRILLED THAT SHE HAD THIS DRESS ON. 814 00:30:55,567 --> 00:30:57,500 I HAVEN'T SEEN HER LIKE THAT IN A LONG TIME. 815 00:30:57,500 --> 00:30:59,300 SHE WAS JUST SO EXCITED. - I LOVE IT. 816 00:30:59,300 --> 00:31:01,300 - CRAWL UP WITH YOUR TOES ALL THE WAY TO THE FRONT 817 00:31:01,300 --> 00:31:02,867 UNTIL YOU TOUCH THE FRONT. 818 00:31:02,867 --> 00:31:05,000 - MY SECOND TOE IS THE SIZE OF E.T.'S FINGER. 819 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:08,266 - YOU LACE YOUR OWN, OR YOU'LL HAVE SOMEBODY HELPING YOU? 820 00:31:08,266 --> 00:31:11,567 - I HAVE A LACER I'M GONNA HIRE, 821 00:31:11,567 --> 00:31:13,266 YOU KNOW, WITH BENEFITS. 822 00:31:13,266 --> 00:31:14,734 - YOU SHOULD LEARN HOW TO DO IT YOURSELF. 823 00:31:14,734 --> 00:31:16,166 OH, I THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE SAYING 824 00:31:16,166 --> 00:31:18,100 THAT YOU WERE GONNA HAVE SOMEONE HELP YOU. 825 00:31:20,300 --> 00:31:22,900 - I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S REAL. LIKE, IT WAS FUN TO SAY. 826 00:31:22,900 --> 00:31:24,467 IT'S SOMETHING YOU JUST SAY, AND NOW IT'S, LIKE, 827 00:31:24,467 --> 00:31:26,266 I'M WEARING A TUTU AND ICE SKATES RIGHT NOW. 828 00:31:26,266 --> 00:31:28,266 - SO DO YOU HAVE TO SHOW UP KNOWING HOW TO SKATE OR...? 829 00:31:28,266 --> 00:31:30,333 - I THINK OTHER PEOPLE, LIKE, REALLY KNOW HOW TO SKATE, 830 00:31:30,333 --> 00:31:32,233 AND I CAN SKATE, BUT LIKE I CAN JUST SKATE. 831 00:31:32,233 --> 00:31:33,900 - NO TRIPLE AXEL YET? 832 00:31:33,900 --> 00:31:36,200 [man laughs] - "YET" IS THE OPERATIVE WORD. 833 00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:39,000 I BET YOU SHE'LL BE ABLE-- - EVERYONE'S A COMEDIAN 834 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:40,900 OVER HERE IN THE SKATE PALACE, EVIDENTLY. 835 00:31:40,900 --> 00:31:42,166 WHO'S THE HECKLER IN THE CORNER? 836 00:31:42,166 --> 00:31:44,333 DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SKATE? - A LITTLE BIT. 837 00:31:44,333 --> 00:31:45,567 BUT HE DOES. - YOU DO? 838 00:31:45,567 --> 00:31:46,934 - YEAH. BUT HE DOESN'T HAVE A TRIPLE AXEL. 839 00:31:46,934 --> 00:31:48,467 - NO? - I'M WORKING ON MY DOUBLE. 840 00:31:48,467 --> 00:31:51,133 - SO I'M FEELING PRETTY GOOD ABOUT MYSELF. 841 00:31:51,133 --> 00:31:52,500 I AM READY TO GO. 842 00:31:52,500 --> 00:31:54,133 I AM EXCITED TO GET MY NEW SKATES. 843 00:31:54,133 --> 00:31:57,166 AND SCOTT HAMILTON JUNIOR, TO MY LEFT, 844 00:31:57,166 --> 00:32:00,533 IS PISSING ON MY CORN FLAKES. 845 00:32:00,533 --> 00:32:02,200 I CAN STAY LIKE THIS. 846 00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:04,567 - OKAY. BUT THEN THE WHOLE WORLD WILL SEE YOUR-- 847 00:32:04,567 --> 00:32:07,133 - RIGHT? THAT'S GOOD? NO? [overlapping chatter] 848 00:32:07,133 --> 00:32:08,467 I CAN DO IT ON BOTH FEET. 849 00:32:08,467 --> 00:32:10,133 I FEEL LIKE THAT'S SORT OF IMPRESSIVE. 850 00:32:10,133 --> 00:32:11,333 WHAT ELSE? 851 00:32:11,333 --> 00:32:13,200 - CAN YOU, UH, DO A SHOOTING DUCK? 852 00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:14,633 - COME ON, GET IN THE GAME. 853 00:32:14,633 --> 00:32:15,967 - WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? 854 00:32:15,967 --> 00:32:18,100 - JUST GO DOWN. 855 00:32:18,100 --> 00:32:20,200 - OOH, THAT'S IT. YOU GOT IT, YOU GOT IT, 856 00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:22,400 YOU GOT IT. - BUT HOW DO YOU--OKAY. 857 00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:24,934 - JUST LIKE... GOING ON ONE FOOT. 858 00:32:24,934 --> 00:32:26,700 - I CAN DO THAT. IS THAT IMPRESSIVE TO PEOPLE? 859 00:32:26,700 --> 00:32:28,100 - YEAH. - OKAY. WHAT ELSE? 860 00:32:28,100 --> 00:32:29,400 - ON THEIR FIRST TIME. 861 00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:30,800 - WHAT ELSE? 862 00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:32,967 - A TWO-FOOT SPIN, WHERE, LIKE, YOU GO THAT, 863 00:32:32,967 --> 00:32:34,400 AND THEN, LIKE, YOU GO-- 864 00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:35,800 - YOU START OUT SEPARATE, 865 00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:37,433 AND THEN IT, LIKE, COMES IN THE MIDDLE TOGETHER. 866 00:32:37,433 --> 00:32:39,500 WHAT ABOUT THE ONE WHEN THEY'RE UP HERE, LIKE, DOING THAT, 867 00:32:39,500 --> 00:32:41,266 LIKE, WHERE YOU SEE THE ARMS, LIKE, GET-- 868 00:32:41,266 --> 00:32:43,266 THAT'S A LITTLE ADVANCED FOR ME? 869 00:32:43,266 --> 00:32:44,700 - YEAH. 870 00:32:44,700 --> 00:32:46,533 - HOW OLD ARE YOU? - TEN. 871 00:32:46,533 --> 00:32:48,500 - I THINK WE SHOULD GET HIS NUMBER. 872 00:32:48,500 --> 00:32:50,300 YOU NEVER KNOW IF I'M GONNA HAVE TO PRACTICE WITH HIM 873 00:32:50,300 --> 00:32:52,000 WHEN MY PARTNER'S DONE WITH ME. 874 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:54,667 I WAS OBSESSING OVER ALL THAT I DON'T KNOW ABOUT ICE SKATING. 875 00:32:54,667 --> 00:32:56,500 AND I HAD BARELY LACED UP MY BOOTS. 876 00:32:56,500 --> 00:32:58,600 WE WEREN'T EVEN NEAR ICE YET. 877 00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:18,400 - THANKS, WALTER. ALL RIGHT, TALK TO YOU LATER. 878 00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:21,033 WE'RE AT THE ICE-SKATING RINK IN NEW JERSEY. 879 00:33:21,033 --> 00:33:23,066 THE FIRST SHOW IS IN FIVE WEEKS, 880 00:33:23,066 --> 00:33:25,133 SO TODAY IS THE FIRST PRACTICE 881 00:33:25,133 --> 00:33:26,900 OF ABOUT 10,000. 882 00:33:26,900 --> 00:33:28,967 - HI. - HI. 883 00:33:28,967 --> 00:33:30,333 - HOW ARE YOU? I'M ETHAN. 884 00:33:30,333 --> 00:33:32,333 - YOU'RE MY GUY? - I AM YOUR GUY. 885 00:33:32,333 --> 00:33:34,066 - I'M YOUR GIRL. - HOW ARE YOU? 886 00:33:34,066 --> 00:33:35,600 - I'M GOOD. NICE TO MEET YOU. 887 00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:37,934 - LET'S HUG IT OUT. - ALL RIGHT, AWESOME. 888 00:33:37,934 --> 00:33:39,200 - ARE YOU EXCITED? - I'M VERY EXCITED. 889 00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:40,767 ARE YOU EXCITED? - I'M--I'M SO EXCITED. 890 00:33:40,767 --> 00:33:42,367 YOU LOOK AMAZING. - THANK YOU. 891 00:33:42,367 --> 00:33:44,934 - I MEAN, FOR JUST HAVING A BABY, YOU JUST LOOK-- 892 00:33:44,934 --> 00:33:47,000 - ARE YOU A BADASS? LIKE, ARE WE GONNA DO THIS? 893 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:48,467 - I'M GONNA FLING YOU AROUND RIGHT NOW. 894 00:33:48,467 --> 00:33:50,600 - I LIKE THAT. I WANNA BE FLUNG AROUND. 895 00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:52,066 WHAT GIRL DOESN'T? 896 00:33:52,066 --> 00:33:54,934 I JUST AUTOMATICALLY ASSUMED THAT MY PARTNER WOULD BE GAY. 897 00:33:54,934 --> 00:33:57,633 THAT HE WOULD GO TO JAKE'S CHURCH, NOT MINE. 898 00:33:57,633 --> 00:33:59,433 BUT JULIE GOOGLED ETHAN 899 00:33:59,433 --> 00:34:02,533 AND FOUND OUT THAT HE IS STRAIGHT AS AN ARROW. 900 00:34:02,533 --> 00:34:04,200 HERE'S THE THING-- I'M NOT VERY GRACEFUL. 901 00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:05,600 - YOU'RE NOT. - NO. I'M ATHLETIC. 902 00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:07,100 BUT I'M NOT VERY GRACEFUL. 903 00:34:07,100 --> 00:34:10,834 - SO YOU'RE ATHLETIC AND COORDINATED, JUST NOT PRETTY? 904 00:34:10,834 --> 00:34:13,734 - I'M LIKE, "WAY TO START, BUDDY. 905 00:34:13,734 --> 00:34:16,233 I FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF. THANK YOU." 906 00:34:16,233 --> 00:34:18,734 - I MEAN YOU'RE VERY PRETTY. I MEAN PRETTY ON THE ICE. 907 00:34:18,734 --> 00:34:21,467 - YOU DON'T TELL YOUR ICE WIFE THAT SHE'S NOT PRETTY. 908 00:34:21,467 --> 00:34:23,166 - YOU'RE RIGHT. I APOLOGIZE. 909 00:34:23,166 --> 00:34:24,834 - ETHAN'S GONNA GET A BLADE TO THE BALLS 910 00:34:24,834 --> 00:34:26,934 BEFORE WE EVEN GET ON THAT ICE. 911 00:34:26,934 --> 00:34:29,266 - I WAS THE SKATING DOUBLE FOR JON HEDER. 912 00:34:29,266 --> 00:34:30,867 - IS THAT NAPOLEON DYNAMITE? - YES. 913 00:34:30,867 --> 00:34:32,734 - THE CROTCH GRAB. 914 00:34:32,734 --> 00:34:35,266 YOU HAVE A FAMOUS CROTCH? - I DO! 915 00:34:35,266 --> 00:34:36,967 - OUT OF THE TWO OF US, WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT 916 00:34:36,967 --> 00:34:40,500 THAT YOU'D BE THE ONE WITH THE FAMOUS CROTCH? 917 00:34:40,500 --> 00:34:42,667 I AM SO EXCITED TO GET ON THE ICE. 918 00:34:42,667 --> 00:34:44,266 WE'RE GOING ICE SKATING. 919 00:34:44,266 --> 00:34:47,700 I MEAN, THAT'S WHAT THIS IS. I AM GOING ICE SKATING. 920 00:34:47,700 --> 00:34:49,667 - WE'RE JUST GONNA SKATE, AND WE'RE GONNA MATCH OUR FEET. 921 00:34:49,667 --> 00:34:52,000 JUST LEFT RIGHT. JUST TOGETHER. 922 00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:55,834 PUSH ME THIS WAY. 923 00:34:55,834 --> 00:34:58,300 SEE, HOW YOU--THERE'S A TENSION ALL THROUGHOUT. 924 00:34:58,300 --> 00:34:59,800 - YOU LIKE TO CONTROL YOUR WOMAN. 925 00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:01,100 - EXACTLY. - THAT'S WHAT THIS IS. 926 00:35:01,100 --> 00:35:03,266 - I WANT TO TAKE YOU WHERE I'M GONNA GO. 927 00:35:03,266 --> 00:35:04,700 - WELL, NOBODY CONTROLS ME, 928 00:35:04,700 --> 00:35:06,433 BUT THIS'LL BE THE CLOSEST ANYBODY EVER GETS. 929 00:35:06,433 --> 00:35:08,333 - ALL RIGHT. - YOU HAVE A NICE BUTT. 930 00:35:08,333 --> 00:35:10,400 - WELL, THANK YOU. - YOU HAVE A VERY NICE ASS. 931 00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:11,433 - THAT'S WHAT WE WORK ON EVERY DAY. 932 00:35:11,433 --> 00:35:12,867 - I LIKE IT. - THANK YOU. 933 00:35:12,867 --> 00:35:15,900 - IS IT AS HARD AS THE ICE? LET ME TOUCH. 934 00:35:15,900 --> 00:35:17,300 WOW. - YEAH. 935 00:35:17,300 --> 00:35:19,633 YOU'RE GONNA HAVE THE SAME THING WHEN WE'RE DONE. 936 00:35:19,633 --> 00:35:21,033 - I AM? - JUST ROCK HARD. 937 00:35:23,066 --> 00:35:27,166 - WHY IS MINE MAKING MORE NOISE THAN YOURS? 938 00:35:31,333 --> 00:35:33,400 - STEP LEFT, RIGHT. 939 00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:36,100 MOHAWK. 940 00:35:36,100 --> 00:35:37,667 YOU ALL RIGHT? - YEP. 941 00:35:37,667 --> 00:35:40,500 - FIRST FALL--HAD TO GET IT OUT OF THE WAY AT SOME POINT. 942 00:35:40,500 --> 00:35:41,667 - IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY. 943 00:35:41,667 --> 00:35:43,700 THIS TAKES MY MIND OFF OF EVERYTHING ELSE. 944 00:35:43,700 --> 00:35:45,367 IT'S THE SICKEST THING. - THAT'S PERFECT. 945 00:35:45,367 --> 00:35:46,633 - I'VE NEVER IN MY LIFE NOT THOUGHT OF ANYTHING ELSE. 946 00:35:46,633 --> 00:35:48,367 LIKE THIS... - THAT'S PERFECT. 947 00:35:48,367 --> 00:35:50,066 - I'M GONNA GO BALLS TO THE WALL, 948 00:35:50,066 --> 00:35:53,834 SO JUST CATCH ME. 949 00:35:53,834 --> 00:35:55,300 OKAY. - GOT IT? 950 00:35:55,300 --> 00:35:56,700 OKAY. 951 00:35:56,700 --> 00:35:59,500 - I DON'T WANNA FALL AND MAKE A FOOL OUT OF MYSELF 952 00:35:59,500 --> 00:36:00,734 IN FRONT OF MILLIONS OF PEOPLE. 953 00:36:00,734 --> 00:36:02,233 - I CAN GUARANTEE 100% THAT YOU WILL NOT FALL. 954 00:36:02,233 --> 00:36:03,700 - YOU CANNOT GUARANTEE THAT. - I CAN. 955 00:36:03,700 --> 00:36:04,967 YOU WILL NOT FALL. 956 00:36:04,967 --> 00:36:06,834 - YOU MAY FALL. - I DON'T FALL. 957 00:36:06,834 --> 00:36:08,333 - I LOOKED YOU UP LAST NIGHT. 958 00:36:08,333 --> 00:36:09,867 YOU FELL IN, LIKE, THE OLYMPICS OR SOMETHING. 959 00:36:09,867 --> 00:36:11,367 YOU FELL IN ONE OF YOUR TRIALS. 960 00:36:11,367 --> 00:36:13,700 - I HAVE FALLEN. BUT I WILL NOT FALL. 961 00:36:13,700 --> 00:36:15,934 - YOU'RE NOT MAD AT ME. I DIDN'T JUST HIT A SORE SPOT? 962 00:36:15,934 --> 00:36:17,300 I SAW ALL YOUR GOOD STUFF TOO. 963 00:36:17,300 --> 00:36:19,133 - O-OKAY! "I SAW YOU FALL. YOU SUCK." 964 00:36:19,133 --> 00:36:21,066 I WANT A NEW PARTNER. - NO, I THINK YOU'RE AWESOME. 965 00:36:21,066 --> 00:36:22,300 - OKAY, OKAY, GOOD. - NO, NO, NO. 966 00:36:22,300 --> 00:36:23,900 I THINK YOU'RE AWESOME, BUT I FELT BADLY, 967 00:36:23,900 --> 00:36:26,033 BECAUSE IT LOOKED LIKE YOU COULD HAVE GONE TO THE OLYMPICS, 968 00:36:26,033 --> 00:36:27,633 AND I FELT LIKE IT WAS 969 00:36:27,633 --> 00:36:29,300 'CAUSE YOU WERE WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND AS A PARTNER. 970 00:36:29,300 --> 00:36:31,867 I FEEL LIKE YOUR HEAD GOT IN THE WAY. 971 00:36:31,867 --> 00:36:33,667 I HAVE ICE TOURETTE'S. 972 00:36:33,667 --> 00:36:35,166 I'M SORRY. CAN WE HUG? - OKAY, LET'S HUG IT OUT. 973 00:36:35,166 --> 00:36:36,367 THANK YOU. - I'M SORRY. 974 00:36:36,367 --> 00:36:38,700 IF YOU HAD GONE TO THE OLYMPICS, 975 00:36:38,700 --> 00:36:40,300 YOU WOULDN'T BE DOING THIS, RIGHT? 976 00:36:40,300 --> 00:36:41,900 - PROBABLY NOT. - RIGHT. THIS IS GOOD FOR YOU. 977 00:36:41,900 --> 00:36:43,467 I'M TELLING YOU, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. 978 00:36:43,467 --> 00:36:44,967 GOOD TALK. 979 00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:00,800 - I'VE NEVER BEEN ON A DOUBLE DATE LIKE THIS. 980 00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:03,033 - WHAT? WITH TWO MEN? 981 00:37:03,033 --> 00:37:05,667 - HOW ABOUT A LITTLE SAKE? - HOW ABOUT A LITTLE COCKY? 982 00:37:05,667 --> 00:37:08,400 [both laughing] 983 00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:11,033 - TONIGHT THAT ACTUALLY MIGHT BE THE THEME. 984 00:37:11,033 --> 00:37:12,500 - HI! 985 00:37:12,500 --> 00:37:15,533 IT'S BEEN A LONG AND EXHAUSTING WEEK OF SKATING, 986 00:37:15,533 --> 00:37:18,233 AND I AM EXCITED TO GO OUT ON DOUBLE DATES. 987 00:37:18,233 --> 00:37:20,200 ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS BE EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE. 988 00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:22,367 IF HE DOESN'T LIKE INAPPROPRIATE-- 989 00:37:22,367 --> 00:37:23,767 - THE LAST TIME HE MET US, 990 00:37:23,767 --> 00:37:25,433 WE WERE TALKING ABOUT POST-OP TRANNIES. 991 00:37:25,433 --> 00:37:26,700 - WE DON'T SAY "TRANNY." 992 00:37:26,700 --> 00:37:28,433 - WHY? - 'CAUSE IT'S NOT A NICE WORD. 993 00:37:28,433 --> 00:37:29,834 - IT'S NOT? - NO. 994 00:37:29,834 --> 00:37:31,133 - WHAT DO WE SAY? - WHAT DO WE SAY? 995 00:37:31,133 --> 00:37:32,600 TRANSVESTITE-AMERICAN? - OH, WHAT'S THE GAY-- 996 00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:35,033 - WHAT WOULD YOU NORMALLY-- - SHH! WHAT'S THE GAY GREETING? 997 00:37:35,033 --> 00:37:36,633 - A LOT OF GAYS KISS ON THE LIPS. 998 00:37:36,633 --> 00:37:38,600 LIKE, HEY. BUT NOT LIKE, HEY! 999 00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:39,633 IT'S LIKE--HI. 1000 00:37:39,633 --> 00:37:41,533 - OH, THAT? REALLY? 1001 00:37:41,533 --> 00:37:43,567 - WHAT WOULD YOU DO TO A FRIEND WHO'S GAY? 1002 00:37:43,567 --> 00:37:45,834 - FIST HIM. NO, I'M JUST KIDDING. 1003 00:37:45,834 --> 00:37:48,533 - LOVELY. SO JUST BLOW HIM, AND THEN WE CAN START OUR MEAL. 1004 00:37:48,533 --> 00:37:49,900 THERE HE IS. - HI. 1005 00:37:49,900 --> 00:37:51,266 - HELLO. - NICE TO SEE YOU. 1006 00:37:51,266 --> 00:37:53,000 SO GLAD YOU CAME. 1007 00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:54,367 - HI! - YOU REMEMBER BETHENNY, RIGHT? 1008 00:37:54,367 --> 00:37:55,667 - HOW ARE YOU? GOOD TO SEE YOU. 1009 00:37:55,667 --> 00:37:58,166 YOU GOT A HAIRCUT. - I GOT A HAIRCUT. 1010 00:37:58,166 --> 00:37:59,734 - HI. JASON. - NICE TO MEET YOU. 1011 00:37:59,734 --> 00:38:01,367 - WHAT'S YOUR FIRST NAME? - BARRY. 1012 00:38:01,367 --> 00:38:02,667 - WE LOOK ALIKE. 1013 00:38:02,667 --> 00:38:04,333 - YOU FEEL LIKE YOU GUYS LOOK ALIKE? 1014 00:38:04,333 --> 00:38:06,066 - YEAH. 1015 00:38:07,367 --> 00:38:08,967 - THAT'S-- - ISN'T THAT WEIRD? 1016 00:38:08,967 --> 00:38:11,433 I WAS JUST LIKE, "OH, MY GOD, I'M WITH ME!" 1017 00:38:11,433 --> 00:38:13,967 - JAKE ALL OF A SUDDEN SAID THAT HE AND HIS DATE 1018 00:38:13,967 --> 00:38:16,400 LOOKED ALIKE, WHICH WAS A LITTLE BIT CREEPY, 1019 00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:18,266 A LITTLE BIT SINGLE WHITE FEMALE, 1020 00:38:18,266 --> 00:38:19,800 A LITTLE BIT RESTRAINING ORDER. 1021 00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:20,800 BUT I'LL GO WITH IT. 1022 00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:22,300 - THE THING THAT'S NOT TWINS 1023 00:38:22,300 --> 00:38:24,133 IS I WISH MY HAIR COULD DO THAT. - WHY CAN'T IT DO THAT? 1024 00:38:24,133 --> 00:38:26,500 - 'CAUSE IT JUST WILTS, LIKE THE JEWISH AFRO. 1025 00:38:26,500 --> 00:38:28,433 - DO YOU GUYS WANT ANYTHING TO DRINK? 1026 00:38:28,433 --> 00:38:30,333 - YES. [laughs] 1027 00:38:30,333 --> 00:38:32,800 YEAH, WHATEVER. - SHOULD I GET... 1028 00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:34,166 - OH. - YOU ARE REALLY... 1029 00:38:34,166 --> 00:38:36,200 - IT'S REALLY-- IT'S A WHOLE THING. 1030 00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:38,233 - I MEAN, LIKE, YOU HAVE LICKABLE CLOTHING. 1031 00:38:38,233 --> 00:38:40,133 IT'S LOVELY. IT'S REALLY DIFFERENT. 1032 00:38:40,133 --> 00:38:41,633 - YOUR DATE IS THAT WAY. 1033 00:38:41,633 --> 00:38:43,500 - THIS--THIS ACTUALLY LOOKS-- - YOUR DATE IS DOWN THERE. 1034 00:38:43,500 --> 00:38:45,834 - I LIKE WOMEN, AND, UH... [laughter] 1035 00:38:45,834 --> 00:38:47,500 - I'M NOT SURE IF YOU GOT THE MEMO, 1036 00:38:47,500 --> 00:38:49,967 BUT THE DATE YOU'RE ON IS WITH THAT GUY THAT YOU LOOK LIKE. 1037 00:38:49,967 --> 00:38:51,934 - DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? - I DO. 1038 00:38:51,934 --> 00:38:53,300 - WHERE? - GOD, I DON'T KNOW IF I--AAH! 1039 00:38:53,300 --> 00:38:54,934 - OOH, IT'S A GREEK KEY. - YEP. 1040 00:38:54,934 --> 00:38:56,834 - DID YOU DO IT IN GREECE? - OH, I LIKE THAT. 1041 00:38:56,834 --> 00:38:58,734 - NO, I DID IT ACTUALLY OVER HERE ON CHRISTOPHER STREET. 1042 00:38:58,734 --> 00:39:01,066 - [laughs] I HAVE A BELLY RING. 1043 00:39:01,066 --> 00:39:02,567 NO, I DON'T. I HAD A BELLY RING. 1044 00:39:02,567 --> 00:39:04,433 - SO DID I. DON'T TELL ANYONE EVER. 1045 00:39:04,433 --> 00:39:05,967 I STILL HAVE THE HOLE. I'LL SHOW YOU LATER. 1046 00:39:05,967 --> 00:39:07,000 - JASON HAS SOMETHING TO CONTRIBUTE. 1047 00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:08,333 - COCK RING? WHAT? 1048 00:39:08,333 --> 00:39:09,533 - I ACTUALLY HAVE A PRINCE ALBERT. 1049 00:39:09,533 --> 00:39:11,667 - I DON'T KNOW WHAT A PRINCE ALBERT IS. 1050 00:39:11,667 --> 00:39:13,600 WHAT'S A PRINCE ALBERT? - PIERCE THROUGH THE TIP OF... 1051 00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:15,033 - PENIS. - PENIS. YEAH. 1052 00:39:15,033 --> 00:39:16,800 - I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU KNOW THAT. 1053 00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:18,300 I DON'T WANNA KNOW. 1054 00:39:18,300 --> 00:39:20,333 IS JASON TRYING TO BE COOL WITH THE GAYS NOW? 1055 00:39:20,333 --> 00:39:22,200 LIKE, DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE EVEN TALKING ABOUT? 1056 00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:23,867 I DON'T EVEN KNOW. WHAT IS A PRINCE ALBERT? 1057 00:39:23,867 --> 00:39:24,934 DOES IT HAVE A CROWN? 1058 00:39:24,934 --> 00:39:26,333 - WHY DO PEOPLE DO THAT? 1059 00:39:26,333 --> 00:39:28,633 - I THINK THE REASON WAS THE VICTORIAN DRESS... 1060 00:39:28,633 --> 00:39:30,266 THAT THEY ACTUALLY USED IT 1061 00:39:30,266 --> 00:39:32,233 SO YOU WOULD NOT SEE A BULGE IN THE PANTS. 1062 00:39:32,233 --> 00:39:34,266 DEAD SERIOUS. 1063 00:39:34,266 --> 00:39:37,033 - IT JUST WENT FROM AWKWARDNESS 1064 00:39:37,033 --> 00:39:39,000 TO IT'S ALL OUT THERE. 1065 00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:40,600 WE'RE LETTIN' IT ALL HANG OUT. 1066 00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:42,200 I JUST WANT TO TAKE YOU TO THE MALL 1067 00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:44,400 AND GET YOUR PENIS PIERCED-- THAT'S ALL I WANT TO DO. 1068 00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:46,033 - I WOULD DO IT IF WE DID IT AT A MALL. 1069 00:39:46,033 --> 00:39:48,133 I MEAN, IT'S THAT GOOD THAT IT MIGHT BE WORTH IT. 1070 00:39:48,133 --> 00:39:49,300 - JUST TO SEE WHAT THE PROCESS WOULD BE. 1071 00:39:49,300 --> 00:39:50,333 - TOTALLY. 1072 00:39:50,333 --> 00:39:52,200 - I HAD THE BEST TIME ON OUR DATE. 1073 00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:54,400 I REALLY DID. I THOUGHT IT WAS SO MUCH FUN. 1074 00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:57,433 I LOVED BARRY. JAKE WAS GREAT. 1075 00:39:57,433 --> 00:40:01,100 SO I'M FEELING SOCIAL, AND MY BIRTHDAY'S COMING UP, 1076 00:40:01,100 --> 00:40:02,700 AND MAYBE IT WON'T BE AS BAD AS I THINK. 1077 00:40:02,700 --> 00:40:04,400 - WE NEEDED A NIGHT LIKE THIS OUT. 1078 00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:06,000 THANKS, GUYS. 1079 00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:07,633 - OH, TO CRAZY. 1080 00:40:07,633 --> 00:40:09,233 - I LIKE IT. I LOVE CRAZY. 1081 00:40:09,233 --> 00:40:10,400 I MARRIED CRAZY. 1082 00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:11,934 - DO YOU THINK I'M REALLY CRAZY? - YES. 1083 00:40:11,934 --> 00:40:13,667 - WELCOME ABOARD! - TO CRAZY. 1084 00:40:13,667 --> 00:40:15,066 - TO CRAZY. - TO CRAZY. 1085 00:40:15,066 --> 00:40:16,567 - I LOVE IT. 1086 00:40:16,567 --> 00:40:18,266 - TO A GREAT FIRST DATE. - GREAT FIRST DATE. 1087 00:40:27,433 --> 00:40:29,700 - HOW'S THE PLANNING GOING? 1088 00:40:29,700 --> 00:40:31,300 - OF THE PARTY? - MM-HMM. 1089 00:40:31,300 --> 00:40:34,767 - I COULDN'T TELL YOU A SINGLE THING THAT'S GOING ON. 1090 00:40:34,767 --> 00:40:37,133 - SO YOU HAVEN'T BEEN, LIKE, AT ALL INVOLVED? 1091 00:40:37,133 --> 00:40:38,600 - NO. LIKE, ON A ONE TO TEN, 1092 00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:41,100 THE WEDDING WAS, LIKE, I'D SAY A TEN OF INVOLVEMENT. 1093 00:40:41,100 --> 00:40:43,100 THIS HAS BEEN A ZERO. - A ZERO. 1094 00:40:44,500 --> 00:40:46,333 MAMA, GET A LITTLE BIT MORE EXCITED. 1095 00:40:46,333 --> 00:40:47,834 EVERYBODY'S EXCITED FOR YOU. 1096 00:40:47,834 --> 00:40:50,000 - I'M EXCITED BECAUSE I'M EXCITED ABOUT-- 1097 00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:53,266 ABOUT YOU AND BRYN AND THE BOO-BOO OF MY FAMILY. 1098 00:40:53,266 --> 00:40:55,900 PLEASE DON'T MAKE A BIG, GIANT DEAL ABOUT EVERYTHING TOO. 1099 00:40:55,900 --> 00:40:57,900 - OF COURSE WE'RE GONNA MAKE A BIG DEAL ABOUT IT. 1100 00:40:57,900 --> 00:40:59,934 - NO. FOR ME, IT'S THE WAY I LIKE TO DO THINGS. 1101 00:40:59,934 --> 00:41:01,600 - OKAY. - ON YOUR BIRTHDAY, WE CAN GO, 1102 00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:04,166 AND WE CAN SHOOT CANONS OFF AND DO FIREWORKS ON YOUR 40TH. 1103 00:41:04,166 --> 00:41:05,767 - BUT LISTEN, YOU DECIDED TO HAVE A PARTY. 1104 00:41:05,767 --> 00:41:07,700 LET'S NOT DO A HALF-ASSED PARTY. 1105 00:41:07,700 --> 00:41:09,100 - NO, WE'RE HAVING A GREAT PARTY. 1106 00:41:09,100 --> 00:41:10,367 THE PARTY WILL BE GREAT, JUST THE PARTY. 1107 00:41:10,367 --> 00:41:11,900 LET'S LEAVE THE BIRTHDAY AT THE PARTY. 1108 00:41:11,900 --> 00:41:13,166 LIKE, THAT'S THE ONLY PLACE THE BIRTHDAY CAN BE. 1109 00:41:13,166 --> 00:41:14,867 - OKAY. - IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE ALL DAY 1110 00:41:14,867 --> 00:41:16,633 LIKE, "YOU'RE THE BIRTHDAY GIRL!" LIKE ALL DAY. 1111 00:41:16,633 --> 00:41:18,133 LIKE ALL DAMN DAY, EVERYWHERE YOU GO. 1112 00:41:18,133 --> 00:41:19,600 - WHO DOES THAT? - NO SINGING. 1113 00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:21,400 I DON'T LIKE SINGING, LIKE THAT KIND OF STUFF. 1114 00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:22,800 - WE CAN'T SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY? 1115 00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:24,500 - EVERYBODY-- WELL, IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY! 1116 00:41:24,500 --> 00:41:26,633 - WHEN IT'S MY BIRTHDAY, I LIKE TO GET PHONE CALLS... 1117 00:41:26,633 --> 00:41:28,633 - I KNOW. - AND I LIKE CARDS. 1118 00:41:28,633 --> 00:41:32,734 - WE KNOW YOU LOVE ATTENTION, AND YOU LOVE EVERYBODY TO... 1119 00:41:32,734 --> 00:41:34,433 JASON IS GETTING EXCITED, 1120 00:41:34,433 --> 00:41:36,033 AND HE WANTS ME TO GET EXCITED. 1121 00:41:36,033 --> 00:41:38,367 - I WILL TRY AND GET EXCITED ABOUT IT. 1122 00:41:38,367 --> 00:41:40,367 I WILL TRY TO COME FROM A PLACE OF YES 1123 00:41:40,367 --> 00:41:41,934 ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY. 1124 00:41:41,934 --> 00:41:43,667 I'M ALWAYS FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF ON MY BIRTHDAY. 1125 00:41:43,667 --> 00:41:45,633 - YOU ARE? - SECRETLY. 1126 00:41:45,633 --> 00:41:47,967 - WHY? THIS IS NEW. WHY? 1127 00:41:47,967 --> 00:41:50,200 - 'CAUSE IT'S ALWAYS BEEN A DISAPPOINTMENT. 1128 00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:51,500 BUT NOT IN THAT... - AW... 1129 00:41:51,500 --> 00:41:52,900 - NOT IN THAT I WANT THIS BIG PARTY, 1130 00:41:52,900 --> 00:41:54,567 AND THAT WILL MAKE IT NOT A DISAPPOINTMENT. 1131 00:41:54,567 --> 00:41:56,133 IT'S JUST ALWAYS BEEN SOMETHING THAT REMINDS ME 1132 00:41:56,133 --> 00:41:58,133 OF A LOT OF STUFF, AND YOU KIND OF WANT IT TO PASS. 1133 00:41:58,133 --> 00:42:00,033 BUT THEN ONCE IT DOES PASS, YOU KIND OF FEEL LIKE 1134 00:42:00,033 --> 00:42:02,100 IT'S JUST PASSED. IT'S REALLY LIKE A DOUBLE-- 1135 00:42:02,100 --> 00:42:03,934 YOU'RE DAMNED IF YOU DO, DAMNED IF YOU DON'T. 1136 00:42:03,934 --> 00:42:05,166 IT'S A VERY STRANGE THING. 1137 00:42:05,166 --> 00:42:06,300 MY WHOLE LIFE HAS BEEN LIKE THAT. 1138 00:42:06,300 --> 00:42:08,533 - I WANT BIRTHDAYS TO BE SPECIAL FOR YOU. 1139 00:42:08,533 --> 00:42:10,166 IT BREAKS MY HEART-- - NO, IT'S OKAY. 1140 00:42:10,166 --> 00:42:12,133 DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR ME. - I DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR YOU. 1141 00:42:12,133 --> 00:42:13,934 IT JUST BREAKS MY HEART. 1142 00:42:13,934 --> 00:42:16,500 - [softly] IT'S FINE. YES. IT'S ALL GOOD. 1143 00:42:16,500 --> 00:42:18,600 WE'RE GONNA HAVE FUN. WE'LL HAVE A GREAT TIME. 1144 00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:19,934 - WE'RE GONNA HAVE A GREAT TIME. 1145 00:42:19,934 --> 00:42:22,600 AND I LOVE YOU. I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY. 1146 00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:24,066 - I KNOW. YOU MAKE ME HAPPY. 1147 00:42:24,066 --> 00:42:25,700 - ARE YOU HAPPY? - YES. YOU MAKE ME HAPPY. 1148 00:42:25,700 --> 00:42:27,133 - WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? 1149 00:42:27,133 --> 00:42:28,567 - NOTHING. - HUH? 1150 00:42:28,567 --> 00:42:30,233 - WELL, I MEAN, I WON'T SAY NOTHING, 1151 00:42:30,233 --> 00:42:33,400 'CAUSE IF YOU GET ME NOTHING, I'LL HATE YOU FOREVER, SO... 1152 00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:35,266 - I MEAN, I'VE LEARNED THAT THAT'S REALLY WHAT HAPPENS. 1153 00:42:35,266 --> 00:42:37,400 LIKE, YOU SAY NOTHING, BUT YOU REALLY WANT SOMETHING. 1154 00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:38,934 - I DON'T REALLY WANT ANYTHING. 1155 00:42:38,934 --> 00:42:40,500 - A WOMAN WILL KILL A MAN IF THEY DON'T BRING-- 1156 00:42:40,500 --> 00:42:41,934 - NO, BUT I DON'T REALLY WANT ANYTHING. 1157 00:42:41,934 --> 00:42:43,100 LIKE, YOU KNOW ME, I THROW EVERYTHING AWAY, 1158 00:42:43,100 --> 00:42:44,200 AND I DON'T WANT ANYTHING. 1159 00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:45,700 LIKE, IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. 1160 00:42:45,700 --> 00:42:47,433 I DON'T WANT ANYTHING. LIKE, I REALLY DON'T. 1161 00:42:47,433 --> 00:42:48,867 - THAT'S SO RATIONAL. 1162 00:42:48,867 --> 00:42:50,367 - BUT IF IT WERE THE DAY OF MY BIRTHDAY 1163 00:42:50,367 --> 00:42:51,800 AND THEN YOU DIDN'T GET ME SOMETHING, 1164 00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:53,000 IT WOULD BE BAD. 1165 00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:54,500 - IT WOULD BE REALLY BAD, BUT-- 1166 00:42:54,500 --> 00:42:55,867 BUT YOU DON'T WANT ANYBODY TO MAKE A BIG DEAL. 1167 00:42:55,867 --> 00:42:57,200 - NO, IT'S NOT RATIONAL. 1168 00:42:57,200 --> 00:42:59,300 - IT ALSO MATTERS WHAT THE PRESENT IS. 1169 00:42:59,300 --> 00:43:00,700 - YES. ABSOLUTELY. 1170 00:43:00,700 --> 00:43:02,533 - I MEAN, IF I GET YOU A BLENDER, YOU'LL WANT TO... 1171 00:43:02,533 --> 00:43:04,734 PUT MY BALLS IN THE BLENDER. - I WILL BLEND YOUR BALL-- 1172 00:43:04,734 --> 00:43:06,233 MAKE A BALL SMOOTHIE. ABSOLUTELY. 1173 00:43:06,233 --> 00:43:09,200 - MEN KNOW AT TIMES THAT WOMEN AREN'T RATIONAL. 1174 00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:11,133 - ALL MEN SHOULD KNOW IF IT'S SOMEONE'S BIRTHDAY, 1175 00:43:11,133 --> 00:43:12,433 THEY GET A PRESENT. 1176 00:43:13,734 --> 00:43:15,934 NEXT ON BETHENNY EVER AFTER... 1177 00:43:15,934 --> 00:43:18,533 OKAY, SEAN YOUNG IS A DISASTER, 1178 00:43:18,533 --> 00:43:21,133 AND SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE A BLADE ON HER BODY. 1179 00:43:21,133 --> 00:43:22,467 - I'LL PROTECT YOU. 1180 00:43:22,467 --> 00:43:23,967 - IT COULD COME DOWN TO A TANYA HARDING. 1181 00:43:23,967 --> 00:43:25,567 HI. 1182 00:43:25,567 --> 00:43:28,000 - OH, HERE'S THE BIRTHDAY GIRL. 1183 00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:30,166 - HERE COMES MOMMY BIRTHDAY GIRL! 1184 00:43:30,166 --> 00:43:32,800 - WHAT'S WRONG? - I DON'T WANNA--I DON'T KNOW. 1185 00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:34,500 IT'S FINE. I JUST DON'T WANT ALL THIS ATTENTION. 1186 00:43:34,500 --> 00:43:35,734 - ALL THIS WHAT? 1187 00:43:35,734 --> 00:43:37,500 - NOTHING. AH! NOTHING! NOTHING! 1188 00:43:37,500 --> 00:43:39,333 I DON'T WANT ALL THIS ATTENTION. LEAVE ME ALONE. 1189 00:43:39,333 --> 00:43:40,633 - I'M GONNA LEAVE YOU ALONE. 1190 00:43:40,633 --> 00:43:42,200 - IS THERE A BIRTHDAY GIRL OVER HERE? 1191 00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:44,533 - HI! - BIRTHDAY GIRL! 1192 00:43:44,533 --> 00:43:46,200 - HI! HOW ARE YOU? 1193 00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:47,867 - I'M SO GOOD. HOW ARE YOU? 1194 00:43:47,867 --> 00:43:50,433 - DEAR GOD, JASON, DON'T DO ANYTHING BIG AND GRANDIOSE. 1195 00:43:50,433 --> 00:43:52,934 I BEG OF YOU. I BEG OF YOU. I BEG OF YOU. 1196 00:43:52,934 --> 00:43:56,000 [crying] I'M SO SORRY. SORRY I'M BEING WEIRD. 1197 00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:58,533 I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. I JUST-- 1198 00:43:58,533 --> 00:44:02,066 I'M OVERWHELMED! I LOVE MY BIRTHDAY! 1199 00:44:02,066 --> 00:44:04,200 TO LEARN MORE ABOUT BETHENNY EVER AFTER, 1200 00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:05,800 GO TO BRAVOTV.COM.