1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,667 - PREVIOUSLY ON BETHENNY EVER AFTER... 2 00:00:04,667 --> 00:00:07,467 - OVER HERE I'VE GOT ALL HER ONESIES, HER PAJAMAS, 3 00:00:07,467 --> 00:00:09,367 HER SOCKS, TIGHTS, BURP CLOTHS, 4 00:00:09,367 --> 00:00:11,767 BIBS, OUTFITS, 6 TO 9, 9 TO 12. 5 00:00:11,767 --> 00:00:13,533 - IF YOU TOOK ANYTHING FROM TODAY, 6 00:00:13,533 --> 00:00:15,500 JUST TAKE CARE OF THE BABY, AND MAMA'S CRAZY. 7 00:00:15,500 --> 00:00:17,667 - ALL RIGHT. - RIGHT. GOT IT? 8 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:24,667 OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD. 9 00:00:24,667 --> 00:00:26,500 I'M SO HAPPY, I'M GONNA CRY. 10 00:00:26,500 --> 00:00:27,867 - OH, MY GOSH. 11 00:00:27,867 --> 00:00:28,967 - WE'RE NOT GOING TO ANY RESTAURANTS. 12 00:00:28,967 --> 00:00:30,000 WE'RE NOT LEAVING THIS HOUSE. 13 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,467 YOU GOT MY ASS TO THE FINALS. 14 00:00:31,467 --> 00:00:32,967 - I THINK IT WAS MORE YOU FOR ME. 15 00:00:32,967 --> 00:00:34,333 BUT YOU KNOW, WHAT DO I KNOW? 16 00:00:34,333 --> 00:00:36,633 - I DON'T UNDERSTAND. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ANY OF IT? 17 00:00:36,633 --> 00:00:39,600 - IT'S GOTTEN SO FAR BEYOND ANYTHING 18 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:42,333 THAT WE CAN EXPLAIN. IT'S JUST... 19 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:13,133 - HI. - GOOD MORNING. 20 00:01:13,133 --> 00:01:14,367 - WHO'S THAT? 21 00:01:14,367 --> 00:01:16,667 - WELL, I SLEPT A LONG TIME, MOMMY. 22 00:01:16,667 --> 00:01:18,567 I SLEPT THE LONGEST EVER IN THE WHOLE WORLD. 23 00:01:18,567 --> 00:01:20,500 - HEY, BUMBLEBEE. 24 00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:21,667 - MY GOODNESS. - EVERYBODY SLEPT. 25 00:01:21,667 --> 00:01:23,066 - I KNOW. 26 00:01:23,066 --> 00:01:25,533 - DADDY'S COMING HOME SOON. - I KNOW. 27 00:01:25,533 --> 00:01:28,033 - IT'S FOUR DAYS UNTIL THE FINALE 28 00:01:28,033 --> 00:01:29,734 OF SKATING WITH THE STARS. 29 00:01:29,734 --> 00:01:33,467 IT IS JUST SO MUCH CRAZIER AND SO MUCH MORE INTENSE 30 00:01:33,467 --> 00:01:35,433 THAN I EVER THOUGHT IT WOULD BE. 31 00:01:35,433 --> 00:01:38,800 AND I WAS WRONG. 32 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:41,400 ALL RIGHT, SO LOOK AT THESE. 33 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:42,967 - WHAT ARE THEY? 34 00:01:42,967 --> 00:01:44,533 - THESE ARE PART OF THE SHAPEWEAR LINE. 35 00:01:44,533 --> 00:01:47,266 I SAID NO TO THEM, BUT I WANT TO SEE WHAT-- 36 00:01:47,266 --> 00:01:48,633 JASON'S BEEN, LIKE, 37 00:01:48,633 --> 00:01:49,667 "YOU'RE TOO SKINNY. YOU HAVE NO ASS." 38 00:01:49,667 --> 00:01:51,166 SO LOOK, CAN YOU EVEN TELL? WATCH. 39 00:01:51,166 --> 00:01:53,000 ARE YOU DYING? 40 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,567 - [laughs] 41 00:01:54,567 --> 00:01:56,233 - SHH. I KNOW, IT LOOKS WEIRD ON ME. 42 00:01:56,233 --> 00:01:57,667 BUT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE A BUTT? 43 00:01:57,667 --> 00:01:59,567 - YEAH, IT DOES. IT LOOKS--I MEAN... 44 00:01:59,567 --> 00:02:01,166 - I WANT THEM TO MAKE IT ROUNDER. 45 00:02:01,166 --> 00:02:03,000 WE'LL DISCUSS THAT LATER. IT'S TOO FOCALIZED. 46 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,567 BUT FOR THE PURPOSES OF TODAY... 47 00:02:04,567 --> 00:02:06,300 - DOES MOMMY HAVE A BUTT? 48 00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:07,767 - WHEN HE COMES BACK, I'LL JUST BE, LIKE... 49 00:02:07,767 --> 00:02:10,867 I'M PUTTING ON THE BOOTY BUMPER BECAUSE... 50 00:02:10,867 --> 00:02:13,567 JASON LIKES A LITTLE MEAT ON THE BONES, 51 00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:16,000 AND I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO MEAT ON MY BONES. 52 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,934 AND I CAN'T POSSIBLY EAT ENOUGH 53 00:02:18,934 --> 00:02:20,934 TO ABSORB THE CALORIES THAT I'M BURNING. 54 00:02:20,934 --> 00:02:22,834 - HE'LL DEFINITELY NOTICE. 55 00:02:22,834 --> 00:02:23,867 - BUT HE WON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS. 56 00:02:23,867 --> 00:02:25,200 HE MIGHT THINK I ATE A LITTLE MORE. 57 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:27,233 LET'S JUST SEE. ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO UPSTAIRS. 58 00:02:27,233 --> 00:02:30,100 OH...JUNK IN THE TRUNK. 59 00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:32,533 WHAT'S UP, DOG? - WHAT'S UP? 60 00:02:32,533 --> 00:02:34,867 - YOU SLEPT BY THE FIRE THE WHOLE TIME? 61 00:02:34,867 --> 00:02:37,166 - LIKE A CAT. JUST BY THE WARMTH... 62 00:02:37,166 --> 00:02:38,567 - YOU LIKE YOUR NEW HOUSE? 63 00:02:38,567 --> 00:02:41,667 - I LIKE WAKING UP TO THE OCEAN, YEAH, FOR SURE. 64 00:02:41,667 --> 00:02:43,533 - I ASKED ETHAN TO STAY THE NIGHT, 65 00:02:43,533 --> 00:02:46,166 AND SO HE'S STILL HERE IN THE MORNING. 66 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,934 AND WE CAN'T ASK ETHAN TO LEAVE. 67 00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:51,100 HE'S SO CUTE. HE'S HOUSETRAINED. 68 00:02:51,100 --> 00:02:52,400 AND I THINK WE'RE GONNA KEEP HIM. 69 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,066 - COOKIE. 70 00:02:57,133 --> 00:02:58,133 - HOW'D YOU SLEEP? 71 00:02:58,133 --> 00:03:01,000 - WELL. HOW'D YOU SLEEP? 72 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,567 - [chuckles] GOOD. 73 00:03:03,567 --> 00:03:05,800 - DO YOU NOTICE ANYTHING DIFFERENT? 74 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:07,533 - UM... 75 00:03:07,533 --> 00:03:10,834 OH...OH, OH! OH. OH, YEAH. 76 00:03:10,834 --> 00:03:12,200 - DOES MY BUTT LOOK BIGGER? - YEAH. I WAS, LIKE, 77 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,734 IT'S A LITTLE MORE PLUMP. 78 00:03:14,734 --> 00:03:17,600 - DO YOU LIKE IT? - YEAH, ACTUALLY, I--YEAH. 79 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:19,133 - YEAH? 80 00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:21,500 - NOW YOU HAVE A SKATER'S-- MORE LIKE A SKATER'S BUTT. 81 00:03:21,500 --> 00:03:22,934 - THAT'S WHAT IT IS. I'M GONNA TELL JASON 82 00:03:22,934 --> 00:03:24,133 I'VE BEEN WORKING SO HARD, 83 00:03:24,133 --> 00:03:26,300 MY BUTT IS NOW OUT FROM SKATING. 84 00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:29,433 LOOK. OH, MY GOD, I DROPPED SOMETHING. 85 00:03:29,433 --> 00:03:30,467 - IT'S JUST SO ABSURD. 86 00:03:30,467 --> 00:03:33,100 - BUT PEOPLE HAVE BUTTS LIKE THIS. 87 00:03:35,900 --> 00:03:37,633 - OH, MY GOD. HELLO? 88 00:03:37,633 --> 00:03:38,633 [dog yapping] 89 00:03:38,633 --> 00:03:39,934 - DADDY'S HOME. 90 00:03:39,934 --> 00:03:41,667 - WOW. HEY, COOK! 91 00:03:41,667 --> 00:03:44,133 - DADDY'S HOME. - OH, MY GOD, I WAS TIRED, 92 00:03:44,133 --> 00:03:45,900 BUT I WANT TO SEE EVERYTHING. 93 00:03:45,900 --> 00:03:47,667 THIS IS INCREDIBLE. 94 00:03:47,667 --> 00:03:49,567 - HOW WAS NEW YORK? [dog barking] 95 00:03:49,567 --> 00:03:51,433 - TIRING. THIS IS THE VIEW? 96 00:03:51,433 --> 00:03:53,734 - THIS IS THE VIEW. - OH, MY GOD. 97 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,734 IT'S AWESOME. I WANT TO GET THE TOUR. 98 00:03:55,734 --> 00:03:57,300 ALL RIGHT, I SEE YOU. 99 00:03:57,300 --> 00:03:58,500 - I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW WE'RE MOVING HERE. 100 00:03:58,500 --> 00:03:59,667 JUST AN FYI. - COOKIE. 101 00:03:59,667 --> 00:04:00,834 - OH, I HAVE NO SAY? IT'S HAPPENING? 102 00:04:00,834 --> 00:04:03,533 - NOT EVEN A QUESTION. NOT EVEN A QUESTION. 103 00:04:03,533 --> 00:04:05,800 - WHAT, YOU SLEEP OVER NOW? I'M GONE FOR-- 104 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:07,834 I'M GONE FOR A COUPLE DAYS, AND YOU STAY OVER? 105 00:04:07,834 --> 00:04:09,200 - WE HAD A THREE-WAY LAST NIGHT. 106 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:10,867 - I'M PART OF THE FAMILY NOW. - THAT'S NICE. 107 00:04:10,867 --> 00:04:13,500 - WE HAD A THREE--OH, THAT'S-- - I MISSED SOMEBODY. 108 00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:17,333 - HI, DAWA. I MISSED SOMEBODY. 109 00:04:17,333 --> 00:04:19,700 ARE YOU JUST HANGIN' OUT IN THE BOO? 110 00:04:19,700 --> 00:04:21,100 - FOLLOW ME, AND I'LL TAKE YOU ON THE TOUR. 111 00:04:21,100 --> 00:04:24,233 - OH, MY--YOU GOT THE FIRE... - OH... 112 00:04:24,233 --> 00:04:25,800 - WHY IS SHE POINTING HER BUTT AT ME? 113 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:27,000 - OH, I DON'T KNOW. 114 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,367 COME HERE, I'LL GIVE YOU THE TOUR. 115 00:04:28,367 --> 00:04:34,233 - NICE KITCHEN, THOUGH. RIGHT? 116 00:04:36,100 --> 00:04:37,934 YOU LOOK A LITTLE JUICIER. WHAT-- 117 00:04:37,934 --> 00:04:39,600 - I DO? - IS THIS THE SKATING THING? 118 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:41,533 - ASK ETHAN. IT'S A SKATER'S BUTT. 119 00:04:41,533 --> 00:04:43,700 - THAT'S WHAT SKATING DOES FOR YOU. 120 00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:47,333 - LET ME SEE THAT AGAIN. 121 00:04:47,333 --> 00:04:48,500 - DOESN'T IT LOOK BETTER? 122 00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:50,633 - YOU DO HAVE A LITTLE PERKY BOOTY NOW. 123 00:04:50,633 --> 00:04:53,900 - IT'S SKATING. - WOW. 124 00:04:53,900 --> 00:04:55,166 - ISN'T IT AWESOME? 125 00:04:55,166 --> 00:04:56,667 - IT'S SEXY. - I KNOW. 126 00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:04,266 - WOW, MAYBE YOU SHOULD SKATE FULL-TIME. PERMANENTLY. 127 00:05:04,266 --> 00:05:07,834 WOW, I NOTICED HER BUTT LOOKED MORE PLUMP. 128 00:05:07,834 --> 00:05:09,133 I COULDN'T STOP LOOKING AT HER ASS. 129 00:05:09,133 --> 00:05:12,333 BUT YET SHE WAS, LIKE, PUTTING IT IN MY FACE. 130 00:05:12,333 --> 00:05:14,333 LIKE, WHAT GOT INTO YOU? 131 00:05:14,333 --> 00:05:15,500 - HOW DID MOMMY DO WITH THE HOUSE? 132 00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:18,100 - MOMMY DID GREAT. - YOU HAPPY? 133 00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:21,033 - MOMMY DID GREAT. GIMME A LOVE. 134 00:05:21,033 --> 00:05:22,533 - AND THEN, LOOK AT THIS. - I MISSED MOMMY. 135 00:05:22,533 --> 00:05:24,066 - AND THEN, LOOK AT THIS THING, 136 00:05:24,066 --> 00:05:26,400 WHICH IS, LIKE... 137 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:29,066 - THAT'S REALLY NICE. 138 00:05:32,734 --> 00:05:34,667 BY THE WAY... - WHAT? 139 00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:37,567 - WE NEED TO GIVE HER THIS BABY. 140 00:05:37,567 --> 00:05:39,000 - ALL RIGHT, I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING. 141 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,333 - GO LAY DOWN FOR A-- 142 00:05:40,333 --> 00:05:41,734 - WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING. 143 00:05:41,734 --> 00:05:44,400 - GIVE ME THE BABY. - JUST A COUPLE MINUTES. 144 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:45,500 - WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING. 145 00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:47,233 - WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT? 146 00:05:47,233 --> 00:05:50,033 - I'VE BEEN KEEPING SOMETHING FROM YOU. 147 00:05:50,033 --> 00:05:52,400 - WHAT'S WITH THE POSING ALL DAY? 148 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:54,633 I KNOW YOUR BODY LOOKS FANTASTIC FROM SKATING... 149 00:05:54,633 --> 00:05:55,900 - IT'S NOT MY BUTT. 150 00:05:55,900 --> 00:05:59,433 [laughter] 151 00:06:00,967 --> 00:06:06,533 - SHE'S SHOWING HER-- NO WAY! NO WAY. 152 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:10,066 I'M GONNA ADMIT... I WAS A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED. 153 00:06:10,066 --> 00:06:12,433 - I FEEL LIKE IT'S MINE. - YOU GOT ME. 154 00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:16,700 OH, THIS IS GREAT. 155 00:06:16,700 --> 00:06:17,934 ETHAN, JUST LOOK AT MY WIFE'S ASS. 156 00:06:17,934 --> 00:06:21,667 - SORRY. - YEAH, THERE ARE BOUNDARIES. 157 00:06:29,633 --> 00:06:31,000 - DO YOU LOVE ME YET? 158 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,300 - I'M GETTING THERE. - I'M FALLING IN LOVE. 159 00:06:33,300 --> 00:06:34,800 IT'S GETTING HOT IN HERE. - YEAH. 160 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:36,500 AND, READY? - OKAY. 161 00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:38,000 THIS IS THE LAST PRACTICE. 162 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,300 IT HAS BEEN SUCH A BRUTAL PROCESS. 163 00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,834 I HAVE WORKED SO HARD. MY FANS HAVE GOTTEN ME HERE. 164 00:06:42,834 --> 00:06:45,100 I'M DEFINITELY THE MOST IMPROVED. 165 00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:48,700 AND WHO KNOWS, MAYBE THE UNDERDOG CAN WIN. 166 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:51,133 - FALL IN LOVE, GUY. - OKAY, LET'S DO IT. 167 00:06:51,133 --> 00:06:54,133 [upbeat music] 168 00:06:54,133 --> 00:07:02,066 ♪♪ ♪♪ 169 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,266 - I FEEL LIKE, WHEN I'M DOING A LIFT, 170 00:07:07,266 --> 00:07:08,100 I DON'T KNOW WHAT MY FACE IS REALLY DOING, 171 00:07:08,100 --> 00:07:09,567 'CAUSE I'M, LIKE, ALONE THERE. 172 00:07:09,567 --> 00:07:12,800 - I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE BACK, BUT YOU KNOW, WAY BACK. 173 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,467 - SO I'M BACK. IT'S JUST VERY-- 174 00:07:15,467 --> 00:07:16,600 ARE WE REALLY DOING IT? 175 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:17,834 - YEAH. - OH. 176 00:07:17,834 --> 00:07:19,633 - CAN YOU MAKE THIS LEG STRAIGHT? 177 00:07:19,633 --> 00:07:20,633 - OH, YEAH. SORRY. 178 00:07:20,633 --> 00:07:22,500 YOUR BALLS FEEL GREAT. OKAY. 179 00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:24,867 SO HOW DO YOU WANT ME TO-- 180 00:07:24,867 --> 00:07:27,500 - THAT'S JUST WHERE YOUR LEG IS--I'M SORRY! 181 00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:30,000 IT'S ONLY NATURAL. - I UNDERSTAND. 182 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,934 OH, ICE SKATING IS A FULL-CONTACT SPORT. 183 00:07:31,934 --> 00:07:33,767 - MY BALLS WILL BE PRESSED UP AGAINST YOUR INNER THIGH. 184 00:07:33,767 --> 00:07:36,166 - YES. HOW PROUD MY HUSBAND WOULD BE. 185 00:07:36,166 --> 00:07:37,667 AND AGAIN. 186 00:07:37,667 --> 00:07:39,700 ETHAN WAS MY CHRISTMAS PRESENT. 187 00:07:39,700 --> 00:07:42,300 HE'S SUCH A NICE MAN. 188 00:07:42,300 --> 00:07:44,767 WITHOUT ETHAN, THIS WHOLE ENTIRE EXPERIENCE 189 00:07:44,767 --> 00:07:47,200 WOULD HAVE BEEN COMPLETELY EXCRUCIATING. 190 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,266 AND HE MADE IT PLEASANT. 191 00:07:49,266 --> 00:07:50,834 I WOULDN'T GIVE IT BACK, JUST BECAUSE I MET HIM. 192 00:07:50,834 --> 00:07:52,200 WELL, MAYBE. 193 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:55,033 BUT I REALLY, REALLY DO LIKE HIM A LOT. 194 00:07:55,033 --> 00:08:01,400 ♪♪ ♪♪ 195 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,934 DIP. - RIGHT. 196 00:08:03,934 --> 00:08:06,133 - I'LL GET IT. 197 00:08:06,133 --> 00:08:07,700 - YOU DON'T HAVE TO TURN THAT MUCH. 198 00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:09,100 WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS YOU'RE GOING HERE. 199 00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:10,433 YOU'RE, LIKE, "I HAVE TO GO ALL THE WAY AROUND!" 200 00:08:10,433 --> 00:08:12,166 AND THEN YOU END UP WAY OVER HERE. 201 00:08:12,166 --> 00:08:13,967 THAT'S RIGHT. 202 00:08:13,967 --> 00:08:15,533 - AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN 203 00:08:15,533 --> 00:08:17,233 AND AGAIN UNTIL WE GET IT. 204 00:08:17,233 --> 00:08:19,000 'CAUSE I'M NOT GONNA MAKE AN ASS OUT OF MYSELF 205 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,633 IN FRONT OF THOSE JUDGES. 206 00:08:33,633 --> 00:08:35,600 - HEY, HOW ARE YOU? 207 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:38,433 - PRETTY GOOD. - WHAT A NEAT DOG YOU'VE GOT. 208 00:08:38,433 --> 00:08:39,667 - THAT'S COOKIE. 209 00:08:39,667 --> 00:08:41,600 - THE FINALE IS A FEW DAYS AWAY, 210 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:44,767 SO NOW I'M GOING TO CRAM CHRISTMAS IN. 211 00:08:44,767 --> 00:08:48,033 NO ONE'S GETTING GYPPED BECAUSE OF MY ICE SKATING EXPERIENCE. 212 00:08:48,033 --> 00:08:50,166 WE'RE GONNA HAVE CHRISTMAS SWEATERS AND ORNAMENTS 213 00:08:50,166 --> 00:08:51,200 AND TREES. 214 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:52,934 DO YOU HEAR ME, CHRISTMAS? 215 00:08:52,934 --> 00:08:54,367 YOU MY BITCH. 216 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:55,600 YOU LOOK A LITTLE BIT LIKE SANTA CLAUS. 217 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,066 ANYONE TELL YOU THAT? - RIGHT. 218 00:08:57,066 --> 00:08:59,700 YEAH, KIDS FOLLOW ME AROUND SOMETIMES. 219 00:08:59,700 --> 00:09:00,700 - THEY THINK YOU'RE SANTA CLAUS? - A LITTLE BIT. 220 00:09:00,700 --> 00:09:02,166 - THAT'S SANTA. - THAT'S SANTA. 221 00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:05,934 - THAT'S SANTA IN CASUAL CLOTHING. 222 00:09:05,934 --> 00:09:07,133 - WELL, WHY DON'T YOU PUT ONE ON SANTA? 223 00:09:07,133 --> 00:09:08,500 - YEAH, WE DON'T-- WE DON'T-- 224 00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:09,667 - WILL YOU WEAR A SANTA HAT WITH US? 225 00:09:09,667 --> 00:09:11,600 - SURE. - THAT'S SANTA. 226 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:13,100 - BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I'VE HELD A BABY. 227 00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:16,300 - REALLY? THAT'S SANTA CLAUS! SHE'S PULLING HIS BEARD. 228 00:09:16,300 --> 00:09:19,667 THAT'S SANTA CLAUS. YES! SHE'S PULLING-- 229 00:09:19,667 --> 00:09:21,467 THAT'S SANTA. - REAL BEARD TOO. 230 00:09:21,467 --> 00:09:24,367 - YEAH, THAT'S REAL. IT'S NOT EXTENSIONS. 231 00:09:24,367 --> 00:09:26,033 - TELL HIM WHAT YOU WANT. - WHAT DO YOU WANT? 232 00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:28,667 HAPPINESS AND HEALTH AND LOVE. - THAT'S RIGHT. 233 00:09:28,667 --> 00:09:30,033 - THAT'S ALL YOU WANT. 234 00:09:30,033 --> 00:09:31,467 AND THE BIGGEST, BEST CHRISTMAS TREE. 235 00:09:31,467 --> 00:09:32,900 - THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE. 236 00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:34,934 - I TOLD YOU SHE WOULD NOT CRY WHEN SHE WENT TO SEE SANTA. 237 00:09:34,934 --> 00:09:35,934 I KNEW IT. - THAT'S TRUE. 238 00:09:35,934 --> 00:09:37,667 - OKAY, HERE'S OUR-- 239 00:09:37,667 --> 00:09:39,533 HERE'S OUR SAWS OVER HERE. - OH, MY GOD. 240 00:09:39,533 --> 00:09:41,467 I LOVE TAKING THE BABY TO PLACES WITH SAWS. 241 00:09:41,467 --> 00:09:42,900 - SO, DON, I WAS TELLING MY WIFE 242 00:09:42,900 --> 00:09:45,300 I HAVE DONE THIS, GROWING UP IN PENNSYLVANIA. 243 00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:46,834 - OH, IS THAT RIGHT? 244 00:09:46,834 --> 00:09:49,266 - THESE ARE JUST TRADITIONS THAT I'M USED TO, 245 00:09:49,266 --> 00:09:50,867 AND IT'S NICE TO SHARE IT WITH MY DAUGHTER. 246 00:09:50,867 --> 00:09:52,900 THAT'S OUR WEAPON? - THAT'S YOUR WEAPON. 247 00:09:52,900 --> 00:09:54,867 - UNDER NINE FEET, THE TREES ARE IN THE $40 RANGE, 248 00:09:54,867 --> 00:09:56,633 AND OVER NINE FEET, THEY'RE IN THE $60 RANGE. 249 00:09:56,633 --> 00:09:57,834 JUST LETTING YOU KNOW. 250 00:09:57,834 --> 00:10:00,066 - $45. I MEAN, 251 00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:02,834 WE COULD'VE GOT THREE CHRISTMAS TREES IN PENNSYLVANIA. 252 00:10:02,834 --> 00:10:05,166 - GET AWAY FROM US WITH THE SAW. 253 00:10:05,166 --> 00:10:07,166 - WE'RE NOT ENJOYING THE SAW. I'M HOLDING AN INFANT. 254 00:10:07,166 --> 00:10:08,767 - PUT THE SAW IN THE OTHER HAND, 255 00:10:08,767 --> 00:10:10,633 AND THAT IN THAT HAND. SWITCH THEM. 256 00:10:10,633 --> 00:10:12,533 - YOU'RE WAVING-- YOU'RE LIKE, "ANYWAY"... 257 00:10:12,533 --> 00:10:15,400 - STAND OVER THERE. LET'S ENJOY THIS PROCESS, PLEASE. 258 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:17,133 HOW ABOUT THAT ONE OVER THERE, STRAIGHT THROUGH THESE? 259 00:10:17,133 --> 00:10:18,767 - THAT? THE BIGGER ONE? 260 00:10:18,767 --> 00:10:20,333 - OH, THAT ONE'S NOT BAD EITHER. 261 00:10:20,333 --> 00:10:22,166 JUST GO UP TEN FEET AND SEE WHAT WE HAVE, 262 00:10:22,166 --> 00:10:24,200 AND WE'LL COME BACK TO THAT ONE. 263 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:26,200 - THIS IS NOT A PROM DRESS. WE'RE NOT GOING CRAZY. 264 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,033 WE DECIDED WE'RE GONNA GET A NICE TREE, 265 00:10:28,033 --> 00:10:29,300 AND WE'RE GOING HOME. 266 00:10:29,300 --> 00:10:30,934 - THIS ONE? I'M LOOKING AT THIS ONE. 267 00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:34,200 - WILL YOU STOP WAVING THE SAW! - I'M SORRY. SORRY. 268 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:37,000 - FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, YOU'RE WAVING A SAW AT YOUR CHILD. 269 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,066 - YOU WANT THIS TREE? 270 00:10:38,066 --> 00:10:40,767 - YOU SAW THAT, NO? 271 00:10:40,767 --> 00:10:42,767 - DON'T AGREE WITH HER, DAWA. 272 00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:44,467 - SHE SAW. 273 00:10:44,467 --> 00:10:47,133 IT'S LIKE WE'RE FILMING THE MOVIE THE SAW RIGHT NOW. 274 00:10:47,133 --> 00:10:49,066 - THAT'S THE ONE, I STILL THINK. - WHICH IS YOUR FAVORITE? 275 00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:50,467 - THIS ONE. 276 00:10:50,467 --> 00:10:51,800 - ALL RIGHT, WE'RE GOING WITH THAT ONE. 277 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:54,467 - THIS ONE. - THE DALAI LAMA HAS SPOKEN. 278 00:10:54,467 --> 00:10:55,667 WE'RE GOING WITH THAT ONE. 279 00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:59,667 - ALL RIGHT, THAT ONE IT IS. LET'S DO IT. 280 00:10:59,667 --> 00:11:00,867 TIMBER! - TIMBER! 281 00:11:00,867 --> 00:11:03,000 - YAY! - WHOO! 282 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,633 - BY THE WAY, IS THIS SOMETHING YOU EVER THOUGHT 283 00:11:04,633 --> 00:11:06,300 YOU WOULD BE DOING IN CALIFORNIA? 284 00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:07,633 - NO. - EVER? 285 00:11:07,633 --> 00:11:10,133 - NOT IN 75-DEGREE WEATHER. - OKAY. 286 00:11:10,133 --> 00:11:11,967 CALIFORNIA, BABY. 287 00:11:11,967 --> 00:11:15,800 - COMING UP... 288 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,000 - THERE IS NOTHING JOLLY ABOUT THIS RIDE. 289 00:11:30,300 --> 00:11:33,700 - OKAY, WE'LL LEAVE WADE TO TAKE CARE OF THE TREE. 290 00:11:33,700 --> 00:11:36,600 AND MAYBE YOU CAN JUMP ON THE TRUCK. 291 00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:38,400 - YEAH. LET'S DO IT. - TAKE A RIDE ON THE TRUCK? 292 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,400 - YOU GONNA BE ABLE TO PART WITH HER 293 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:41,767 FOR 15 MINUTES? 294 00:11:41,767 --> 00:11:43,200 - I DON'T THINK SHE'LL KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. 295 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:46,633 - AREN'T YOU THE WARM, FUZZY, JOVIAL... 296 00:11:46,633 --> 00:11:47,800 YOU CAN'T REALLY SAY NO TO SANTA. 297 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,867 WHEN SANTA OFFERS YOU A RIDE 298 00:11:49,867 --> 00:11:52,667 ON HIS SLEIGH/DUMP TRUCK, 299 00:11:52,667 --> 00:11:55,467 YOU GOTTA TAKE A RIDE TO LOOK AT THE TREES. 300 00:11:55,467 --> 00:12:00,533 [speaking indistinctly] [bleep] 301 00:12:00,533 --> 00:12:02,800 I KNOW. - THIS IS PRETTY COOL. 302 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:05,266 - OKAY. YOU'RE OKAY. OKAY. 303 00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:07,433 - IS SHE SCARED? - I DON'T KNOW. 304 00:12:07,433 --> 00:12:09,867 ALL RIGHT, LET'S NOT JUMP OFF. - YOU HOLD HER. 305 00:12:09,867 --> 00:12:12,333 YOU HOLD HER, AND I'LL HOLD YOU. - OKAY. 306 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:19,367 YOU KNOW? 307 00:12:19,367 --> 00:12:21,834 - WHOA! 308 00:12:21,834 --> 00:12:24,033 - THERE IS NOTHING JOLLY ABOUT THIS RIDE. 309 00:12:27,767 --> 00:12:28,967 IF I LET GO OF COOKIE, 310 00:12:28,967 --> 00:12:31,667 OR IF JASON LETS GO OF ME, IT'S OVER. 311 00:12:33,867 --> 00:12:36,700 - OH...OH, HELL NO. LOOK AT THAT. 312 00:12:36,700 --> 00:12:38,767 THERE'S NO WAY WE'RE GOING DOWN THAT WAY. 313 00:12:38,767 --> 00:12:40,400 - WE'RE GONNA BE GOING DOWN THAT. 314 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:42,834 - BABY, I DON'T LIKE-- I DON'T LIKE ROLLER COASTERS. 315 00:12:42,834 --> 00:12:43,967 - OH, MY GOD, YOU DON'T LIKE RIDES. 316 00:12:43,967 --> 00:12:45,033 - WE'LL GO REAL SLOW. 317 00:12:45,033 --> 00:12:46,033 THERE WON'T BE ANY ROLLER COASTER. 318 00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:47,500 - JASON DOESN'T LIKE RIDES. 319 00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:48,567 JASON GETS VERY SCARED... 320 00:12:48,567 --> 00:12:49,767 - I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS RIGHT NOW. 321 00:12:49,767 --> 00:12:51,000 - YOU GONNA THROW UP? 322 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,200 - NOT THROW UP, BUT LOOK AT THAT. 323 00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:55,133 - ARE YOU OKAY? - SANTA, WERE WE BAD THIS YEAR? 324 00:12:55,133 --> 00:12:56,734 WERE WE THAT BAD? 325 00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:58,400 - NO, NO, YOU WEREN'T THAT BAD. 326 00:12:58,400 --> 00:12:59,700 - HOLD ON, LET ME FIX YOUR HAT. 327 00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:01,467 - NO TORTURE. - WHAT? 328 00:13:01,467 --> 00:13:03,233 - WE'VE NEVER LOST ANYBODY ON THIS HILL. 329 00:13:03,233 --> 00:13:04,667 - DOES THIS THING HAVE GOOD BRAKES? 330 00:13:04,667 --> 00:13:06,200 - VERY GOOD BRAKES BECAUSE 331 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:09,033 I NEVER TAKE IT OUT OF FIRST GEAR. 332 00:13:09,033 --> 00:13:12,233 - IF IT WAS A CAR, I'D FEEL LIKE YOU'RE FRED FLINTSTONE. 333 00:13:12,233 --> 00:13:13,934 ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU LOOK LIKE FRED FLINTSTONE TO ME, 334 00:13:13,934 --> 00:13:15,066 WITH YOUR LEGS OUT THE BOTTOM. 335 00:13:15,066 --> 00:13:17,000 - TRUST ME, YOU'RE OKAY. 336 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,767 - THIS IS PRETTY COOL. - IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 337 00:13:18,767 --> 00:13:20,867 - THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME WE GOT A CHANCE 338 00:13:20,867 --> 00:13:24,467 TO REALLY BREATHE AND TAKE A MOMENT TO OURSELVES. 339 00:13:24,467 --> 00:13:27,066 AND, ALBEIT, IT WAS ON THE BACK OF A PICKUP TRUCK... 340 00:13:27,066 --> 00:13:29,433 LISTEN, I WANT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. 341 00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:31,266 - DON'T MAKE ME CRY. - NO. 342 00:13:31,266 --> 00:13:32,800 NO, I'M SERIOUS. 343 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:37,066 WE, UH--JUST MY FAMILY HAS NOT HAD A LOT OF HAPPINESS 344 00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:40,900 IN...A LONG TIME. 345 00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:43,433 AND YOU'VE BROUGHT THAT HAPPINESS TO US. 346 00:13:43,433 --> 00:13:45,133 - DON'T MAKE ME CRY. 347 00:13:45,133 --> 00:13:46,400 - AND I LOVE YOU. 348 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:48,233 - I LOVE YOU. YOU BRING ME HAPPY. 349 00:13:48,233 --> 00:13:51,300 - I'M SO EXCITED. MY PARENTS ARE SO EXCITED... 350 00:13:51,300 --> 00:13:53,333 THAT WE'RE COMING HOME WITH THE BABY. 351 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:57,400 AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. 352 00:13:57,400 --> 00:14:02,166 AND YOU REALLY HAVE BROUGHT SO MUCH HAPPINESS INTO MY LIFE. 353 00:14:02,166 --> 00:14:04,433 - DADDY... - I LOVE YOU. 354 00:14:04,433 --> 00:14:06,166 - YOU'VE BROUGHT HAPPINESS INTO MY LIFE. 355 00:14:06,166 --> 00:14:08,166 TO OUR LIVES. 356 00:14:08,166 --> 00:14:09,633 I HAVE A GREAT HUSBAND. 357 00:14:09,633 --> 00:14:13,266 HE REALLY WANTS TO BE A GOOD PERSON, 358 00:14:13,266 --> 00:14:15,300 AND HE WANTS TO BE A GOOD HUSBAND. 359 00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:19,266 AND HE TRIES EVERY DAY TO DO THE BEST HE CAN 360 00:14:19,266 --> 00:14:20,800 TO BE A GOOD PARTNER. 361 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:23,100 AND HE TEACHES ME TO BE A BETTER PERSON. 362 00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:25,400 YOU'RE THE BEST HUSBAND AND THE BEST FATHER IN THE WORLD. 363 00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:27,400 - THANKS, MAMA. 364 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,900 OKAY. ALL RIGHT, HANG ON. 365 00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:31,533 OKAY, MAMA, LOOK AT THIS. 366 00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:36,333 OH, [bleep]. COOKIE'S GETTING SCARED. 367 00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:38,800 [nervous laughter] 368 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:42,734 HOLD TIGHT. 369 00:14:42,734 --> 00:14:44,266 OH, [bleep]. WE'RE SLIDING. 370 00:14:44,266 --> 00:14:45,800 OH... [laughs] 371 00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:47,567 THROW YOUR FOOT UP HERE. - HANG ONTO THE RAIL. 372 00:14:47,567 --> 00:14:49,567 - I DON'T HAVE A RAIL. I HAVE A CAMERA IN MY HAND. 373 00:14:49,567 --> 00:14:52,000 - OUCH! OH... [laughter] 374 00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:00,700 - THIS WAY TO THE NORTH POLE. 375 00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:03,433 - LET ME SEE. - OH, LET'S DO IT. 376 00:15:03,433 --> 00:15:05,533 - OH, MY GOD. - THIS IS HILARIOUS. 377 00:15:05,533 --> 00:15:07,567 - YOU DO REALIZE WE'RE ONLY HERE A COUPLE DAYS. 378 00:15:07,567 --> 00:15:08,767 - I KNOW. 379 00:15:08,767 --> 00:15:11,734 SO WE CAN'T DO ANYTHING HALF-ASSED, 380 00:15:11,734 --> 00:15:13,800 SO I HAVE TO DO CHRISTMAS 100%. 381 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:16,800 AND, YOU KNOW, PAUL BUNYAN WENT AND RIPPED THIS DAMN TREE 382 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:18,200 OUT OF THE GROUND, 383 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:19,967 AND WE'RE GONNA DO CHRISTMAS RIGHT. 384 00:15:19,967 --> 00:15:22,533 - HOW MUCH WATER DO I PUT IN HERE? 385 00:15:22,533 --> 00:15:24,934 - OH, [bleep], I ALMOST BROKE MY ANKLE! 386 00:15:24,934 --> 00:15:26,200 - GOD... 387 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:27,600 OW! - GOT IT? 388 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:28,800 - YEAH, YEAH, WE GOT IT. 389 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:31,100 - I DON'T THINK IT'S GONNA STAY. 390 00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:32,900 - IT'S GONNA FALL. - WELL... 391 00:15:32,900 --> 00:15:34,700 - HOLD THE BABY. - I'M TELLING YOU-- 392 00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:36,367 - I'M TELLING YOU THE WAY TO FIX IT, THOUGH. 393 00:15:36,367 --> 00:15:38,133 ALL YOU DO-- JUST TIE IT AROUND THE MIDDLE, 394 00:15:38,133 --> 00:15:39,767 AND THEN TIE IT TO THESE FOUR THINGS, 395 00:15:39,767 --> 00:15:41,533 AND IT WILL STAY STRAIGHT. - OH, NO, BETHENNY, IF DO THAT-- 396 00:15:41,533 --> 00:15:42,700 - YEAH, JUST GO TIE THAT THING TIGHTER. 397 00:15:42,700 --> 00:15:44,066 - NO, NO. LEAVE IT, GO-- 398 00:15:44,066 --> 00:15:45,500 - IT'S NOT ABOUT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. 399 00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:48,066 UNDER THERE, IT'S THE LEANING TOWER OF TREESA. 400 00:15:48,066 --> 00:15:50,500 - IT'S THE WAY THAT THE TREE IS. - THAT LOOKS BETTER, JULIE. 401 00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:52,166 - IT'S 'CAUSE I'M HOLDING IT UP IS WHY IT LOOKS GOOD. 402 00:15:52,166 --> 00:15:54,800 - NO, LET GO. - LET GO. 403 00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:56,367 - OH. - YOU GUYS ARE MORONS. 404 00:15:56,367 --> 00:15:57,533 JUST TIE THE TREE DOWN THERE. 405 00:15:57,533 --> 00:15:59,066 - WHICH WAY? 406 00:15:59,066 --> 00:16:00,700 - I CAN'T GET THE-- - GO AHEAD. RIGHT THERE. 407 00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:02,066 - YEAH, BUT... 408 00:16:02,066 --> 00:16:04,266 - STAY IN THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT. KEEP IT TOGETHER. 409 00:16:04,266 --> 00:16:06,166 BABY, WE NEED SOMETHING TO HOLD IT UP. 410 00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:07,467 [flatulence] 411 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:10,633 - OH, SORRY. 412 00:16:10,633 --> 00:16:12,500 IS THERE A DUCK UNDER HERE OR WHAT? 413 00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:14,333 - OH, MY GOSH, JASON. [laughter] 414 00:16:14,333 --> 00:16:16,767 - WHAT HAPPENED? - AN ELF FARTED. 415 00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:20,800 THE TREE'S GONNA FALL OVER. - HEY, MERRY CHRISTMAS. 416 00:16:29,333 --> 00:16:32,300 - OH, WOW, BRYN! 417 00:16:32,300 --> 00:16:35,166 - BRYN, IT'S CHRISTMASTIME. 418 00:16:35,166 --> 00:16:36,967 - LOOK AT ALL THE LIGHTS. 419 00:16:36,967 --> 00:16:39,500 I HAVE REALLY BEAUTIFUL MEMORIES OF CHRISTMAS. 420 00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:43,166 I LOVE THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT, AND BRYN WILL LOVE IT TOO. 421 00:16:43,166 --> 00:16:45,467 IT'S JUST A REALLY NICE, HAPPY TIME. 422 00:16:45,467 --> 00:16:47,367 - LET'S GO SEE THE CHOO-CHOO TRAIN. 423 00:16:47,367 --> 00:16:48,734 - READY TO GET ON? - YEAH. 424 00:16:48,734 --> 00:16:50,066 - FOLLOW ME. 425 00:16:50,066 --> 00:16:52,433 - ALL ABOARD THE CHOO-CHOO TRAIN...YOU READY? 426 00:16:52,433 --> 00:16:54,500 - WE ARE GOING TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN. 427 00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:56,834 I AM YOUR OWN PERSONAL ELF. 428 00:16:56,834 --> 00:16:58,033 - WHERE WE GOING? 429 00:16:58,033 --> 00:16:59,667 - WOULD YOU GUYS LIKE TO START OUR NIGHT OFF 430 00:16:59,667 --> 00:17:01,133 WITH SOME MILK AND COOKIES? 431 00:17:01,133 --> 00:17:02,900 - YEAH. - OR DO YOU HAVE ANY ALCOHOL? 432 00:17:02,900 --> 00:17:04,300 DOES SANTA DRINK OR NO? 433 00:17:04,300 --> 00:17:07,834 - NO. SANTA'S A PURE MILKAHOLIC. - HE IS? 434 00:17:07,834 --> 00:17:09,200 I WOULD THINK YOU'D HAVE A COCKTAIL 435 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:10,867 WHEN YOU HAVE TO DELIVER ALL THOSE PRESENTS 436 00:17:10,867 --> 00:17:12,967 TO ALL THOSE CHILDREN. THAT'S VERY STRESSFUL. 437 00:17:12,967 --> 00:17:15,934 I WOULD THINK SANTA WOULD THROW ONE BACK ONCE IN A WHILE. 438 00:17:15,934 --> 00:17:18,433 - YOU GOT HER? 439 00:17:18,433 --> 00:17:21,467 - ARE YOU READY FOR SOME MILK AND COOKIES? 440 00:17:21,467 --> 00:17:23,533 THEY'RE GREEN COOKIES... 441 00:17:23,533 --> 00:17:25,133 - CHOCOLATE MILK. 442 00:17:25,133 --> 00:17:26,567 - YUM YUM YUM. 443 00:17:26,567 --> 00:17:28,200 SO HOW ABOUT A STORY TO GO WITH THOSE COOKIES? 444 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:30,200 - I LOVE YOU, DOT. WHAT A GREAT JOB. 445 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:33,433 WHAT DO YOU DO IN THE SUMMERTIME? 446 00:17:33,433 --> 00:17:35,567 - OH, WE HAVE TO BUILD THE TOYS FOR ALL THE KIDS. 447 00:17:35,567 --> 00:17:37,934 - OH... - BECAUSE... 448 00:17:37,934 --> 00:17:39,166 WE WORK EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR. 449 00:17:39,166 --> 00:17:41,333 - YOU NEVER GET A DAY OFF? 450 00:17:41,333 --> 00:17:43,700 - WELL, CHRISTMAS DAY WE GET TO HAVE FUN 451 00:17:43,700 --> 00:17:46,300 SANTA WOULD HAVE DELIVERED ALL THE PRESENTS 452 00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:47,600 TO ALL THE GOOD BOYS AND GIRLS. 453 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:48,600 - AND YOU GET THE AFTERNOON OFF. 454 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:49,800 - THE AFTERNOON OFF. 455 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:51,333 AND THEN WE START ALL OVER AGAIN, 456 00:17:51,333 --> 00:17:53,066 'CAUSE THE LETTERS COME IN. 457 00:17:53,066 --> 00:17:55,033 - SHE AIN'T BREAKING CHARACTER FOR NOTHING... 458 00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:58,066 UNLESS SHE IS A REAL ELF. 459 00:17:58,066 --> 00:17:59,700 - BRYN, LISTEN UP. 460 00:17:59,700 --> 00:18:01,333 - HAVE YOU READ THIS STORY BEFORE? 461 00:18:01,333 --> 00:18:03,400 - SHE HAS NOT. AND NEITHER HAS DAWA. 462 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,667 - T'WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, 463 00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:07,166 AND ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE, 464 00:18:07,166 --> 00:18:10,767 NOT A CREATURE WAS STIRRING, NOT EVEN A MOUSE. 465 00:18:10,767 --> 00:18:12,166 THE STOCKINGS WERE HUNG... 466 00:18:12,166 --> 00:18:13,967 - I DON'T KNOW WHO ENJOYED THE STORY MORE, 467 00:18:13,967 --> 00:18:16,934 BRYN, DAWA... 468 00:18:16,934 --> 00:18:20,100 IT WAS A VERY BIG, EXCITING EXPERIENCE FOR JASON TOO. 469 00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,800 - AND THREW UP THE SASH. 470 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:24,033 - DOT, WE'RE TAKING YOU HOME WITH US. 471 00:18:24,033 --> 00:18:25,200 WANNA GO BACK TO NEW YORK? 472 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:26,400 - OF COURSE. - OKAY. 473 00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:27,867 [train whistle toots] - OH, THERE WE GO. 474 00:18:27,867 --> 00:18:29,667 WE'RE AT THE NORTH POLE, EVERYONE! 475 00:18:29,667 --> 00:18:31,233 ARE WE READY TO GO SEE SANTA CLAUS? 476 00:18:31,233 --> 00:18:32,400 - YEAH. - YEP. 477 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:33,700 - WELL, WE GOT HERE IN A JIF. 478 00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:35,867 I MEAN, DO THIS, SOMETHING. 479 00:18:35,867 --> 00:18:37,066 I MEAN, MOVE SOMETHING IN THE WINDOW. 480 00:18:37,066 --> 00:18:39,500 I MEAN, MY KID AIN'T THAT DUMB. 481 00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:41,266 - SO I HOPE YOU ALL HAD A BLAST... 482 00:18:41,266 --> 00:18:43,433 - THANK YOU SO MUCH. - ON THE NORTH POLE EXPRESS. 483 00:18:43,433 --> 00:18:45,100 AND I'M SO GLAD YOU ALL CHOSE TO COME. 484 00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:46,367 - THANK YOU. 485 00:18:46,367 --> 00:18:48,400 - BE SURE TO SAY HELLO TO SANTA FOR ME. 486 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:51,000 - SAY BYE-BYE. - YOU'RE GONNA BE A GREAT MOMMY. 487 00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:57,200 CHRISTMAS EXPLODED IN MALIBU. 488 00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:59,633 IT'S NOW--WE'RE AT THE NORTH POLE IN MY HOUSE. 489 00:18:59,633 --> 00:19:01,200 COME HERE, EVERYBODY. TEAM MEETING. 490 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:02,800 - TEAM MEETING? 491 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:06,367 - WE ARE HAVING A HIDEOUS CHRISTMAS SWEATER PARTY. 492 00:19:06,367 --> 00:19:07,467 HERE'S YOURS. PUT IT ON. 493 00:19:07,467 --> 00:19:08,900 - OH, MY LORD! - PLEASE PUT IT ON. 494 00:19:08,900 --> 00:19:10,834 - THERE'S A WOMAN ON THE FRONT. - I KNOW. 495 00:19:10,834 --> 00:19:13,934 JUST A LITTLE MOMENT TO TAKE OURSELVES AWAY 496 00:19:13,934 --> 00:19:17,900 BEFORE THE STRESS OF THE SKATING WITH THE STARS FINALE. 497 00:19:17,900 --> 00:19:20,700 THIS IS YOURS, DAWA. - BUT THIS IS NOT UGLY. 498 00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:22,033 - THIS IS NOT UGLY? 499 00:19:22,033 --> 00:19:23,400 GREAT. OH, ALL RIGHT. WELL, EVEN BETTER. 500 00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:24,800 THEN IT'S BEAUTIFUL. - YOU THINK THIS IS UGLY? 501 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:26,100 - BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER. 502 00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:27,300 - THAT'S UGLY. - OH, MY GOD, 503 00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:28,967 HERS MIGHT BE MY FAVORITE. 504 00:19:28,967 --> 00:19:31,967 - OH...NO. - TAKE OFF THAT OTHER THING. 505 00:19:31,967 --> 00:19:33,667 BRYN HAS AN OUTFIT TOO? - OF COURSE. 506 00:19:33,667 --> 00:19:35,567 BUT HERS IS NOT UGLY, 'CAUSE SHE'S BEAUTIFUL. 507 00:19:35,567 --> 00:19:37,367 - THIS IS THE CUTEST THING EVER. 508 00:19:37,367 --> 00:19:38,734 - LET ME SEE. - LOOK AT THIS. 509 00:19:38,734 --> 00:19:40,800 - WHERE YOU GOING? TO SUGAR MOUNTAIN. 510 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:42,500 - SHE LOOKS LIKE CINDY LOU, 511 00:19:42,500 --> 00:19:44,133 FROM THE GRINCH WHO STOLE CHRISTMAS. 512 00:19:44,133 --> 00:19:46,100 - THIS THING IS THE CUTEST THING EVER. 513 00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:47,467 - IT'S THE CUTEST THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD. 514 00:19:47,467 --> 00:19:48,900 - CAN WE JUST PUT YOU ON TOP OF THE TREE? 515 00:19:48,900 --> 00:19:50,233 SO FAR, JULIE'S THE WINNER. 516 00:19:50,233 --> 00:19:52,166 DAWA, YOU LIKE JULIE'S THE BEST? 517 00:19:52,166 --> 00:19:54,233 - DAWA LOOKS LIKE SHE'S TOTALLY HANGING. COOL. 518 00:19:54,233 --> 00:19:55,734 EVERYONE'S SORT OF FITS THEM. 519 00:19:55,734 --> 00:19:56,800 OH, MY GOD, IT HAS SHOULDER PADS. 520 00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:58,567 - DOES IT? DOES IT? YES. 521 00:19:58,567 --> 00:20:00,433 I WAS FEELING FOR MINE. 522 00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:02,233 - DO YOU HAVE 'EM? - NO. 523 00:20:02,233 --> 00:20:05,767 - OH, MY GOD, JULIE'S WAS HANDS-DOWN THE UGLIEST. 524 00:20:05,767 --> 00:20:08,467 BUT I THINK MINE WAS PROBABLY A CLOSE SECOND. 525 00:20:08,467 --> 00:20:10,300 I HAVE, LIKE, A NIPPLE RING. 526 00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:13,233 - ONE, TWO... 527 00:20:13,233 --> 00:20:14,400 YOU GUYS JUST LOOK SO WEIRD. 528 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,433 - NEXT YEAR'S CHRISTMAS CARD. 529 00:20:16,433 --> 00:20:20,266 - COMING UP... - THERE'S A RULE ON THE BUS. 530 00:20:20,266 --> 00:20:21,700 RULE NUMBER ONE, NO NUMBER TWO. 531 00:20:21,700 --> 00:20:23,867 - I CAN'T WAIT TILL YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. 532 00:20:30,700 --> 00:20:32,700 - CHEW SLOWLY. 533 00:20:32,700 --> 00:20:35,734 THIS IS IT. GO. 534 00:20:38,133 --> 00:20:39,600 - HOW SEXY TO I LOOK RIGHT HERE? 535 00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:41,900 [chuckles] 536 00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:44,166 - I THINK YOU ALWAYS LOOK SEXY TO ME. 537 00:20:44,166 --> 00:20:45,700 HOW SEXY DO I LOOK? - THANKS, MAMA. 538 00:20:45,700 --> 00:20:47,066 OH, YOU LOOK HOT. 539 00:20:47,066 --> 00:20:48,867 LEAVE THE ANTLERS ON LATER. 540 00:20:48,867 --> 00:20:51,166 - YOU JUST LOVE ME. IT'S UNBELIEVABLE. 541 00:20:51,166 --> 00:20:53,367 - WHY DO YOU SAY THAT? 542 00:20:53,367 --> 00:20:54,834 - IT'S QUITE UNBELIEVABLE. 543 00:20:54,834 --> 00:20:56,033 - YOU SAID THAT LIKE YOU'RE SHOCKED. 544 00:20:56,033 --> 00:20:57,667 - IT'S JUST CUTE. 545 00:20:57,667 --> 00:21:00,200 - WHY ARE YOU SO SURPRISED THAT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH? 546 00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:01,567 - 'CAUSE YOU'RE SO GREAT. 547 00:21:01,567 --> 00:21:03,667 YOU'RE THE BEST DADDY, THE BEST HUSBAND. 548 00:21:03,667 --> 00:21:06,300 I HIT THE JACKPOT WAY BIGGER WITH YOU 549 00:21:06,300 --> 00:21:07,500 THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN MY WHOLE LIFE. 550 00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:10,033 - REALLY? WELL, THANK YOU. 551 00:21:10,033 --> 00:21:11,967 I MEAN, I HIT THE JACKPOT TOO. 552 00:21:14,433 --> 00:21:17,533 - I'M HAPPY JASON WENT ALONG FOR THE MALIBU CHRISTMAS RIDE. 553 00:21:17,533 --> 00:21:19,800 AND HE LOVED IT. AND THEN WE'RE GONNA DO 554 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,700 OUR PENNSYLVANIA CHRISTMAS. 555 00:21:21,700 --> 00:21:23,533 SO CHRISTMAS COMES TWICE THIS YEAR. 556 00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:24,867 EVERYBODY'S HAPPY. 557 00:21:24,867 --> 00:21:26,767 - YOU THINK NEXT YEAR WILL BE AS GOOD AS THIS YEAR, 558 00:21:26,767 --> 00:21:27,934 OR BETTER? 559 00:21:27,934 --> 00:21:29,700 WE HAD A PACKED YEAR. 560 00:21:29,700 --> 00:21:31,033 - WE HAD A GREAT YEAR. 561 00:21:31,033 --> 00:21:34,300 - TO THE POSSIBILITIES OF US MOVING TO CALIFORNIA, 562 00:21:34,300 --> 00:21:36,934 AND THE POSSIBILITY OF US WORKING WITH EACH OTHER. 563 00:21:36,934 --> 00:21:40,433 - THIS GLASS HAS A "C" ON IT. DOES THAT MEAN CALIFORNIA? 564 00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:42,500 - IT'S A SIGN. 565 00:21:42,500 --> 00:21:45,200 CHEERS. - CHEERS. 566 00:21:47,033 --> 00:21:48,367 COOKIE! 567 00:21:48,367 --> 00:21:51,834 OH, MY GOD! WHAT IS GOING ON? 568 00:21:51,834 --> 00:21:53,834 YOU ARE SO [bleep] GREEDY. 569 00:21:53,834 --> 00:21:55,967 - COOKIE. - HOW MUCH DID SHE EAT? 570 00:21:55,967 --> 00:21:58,567 - I THINK A WHOLE SECTION OF THE PLATE. 571 00:21:58,567 --> 00:22:00,266 WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? 572 00:22:00,266 --> 00:22:01,834 - I JUST GAVE YOU FOOD. 573 00:22:01,834 --> 00:22:04,900 - WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? 574 00:22:04,900 --> 00:22:07,233 YEAH, LICKING YOUR LIPS. 575 00:22:12,033 --> 00:22:13,166 [dog yaps] 576 00:22:21,367 --> 00:22:23,066 - I'M EXCITED THIS THING IS ABOUT TO BE OVER. 577 00:22:23,066 --> 00:22:25,233 IF THIS IS ON ICE SKATING MERITS ALONE, 578 00:22:25,233 --> 00:22:26,500 REBECCA SHOULD WIN. 579 00:22:26,500 --> 00:22:30,133 IF THIS IS ON MOST IMPROVED, I SHOULD WIN. 580 00:22:30,133 --> 00:22:31,834 IT'S VERY CLEAR. 581 00:22:31,834 --> 00:22:34,166 SO IT WILL BE DECIDED. 582 00:22:34,166 --> 00:22:39,300 [cheers and applause] 583 00:22:39,300 --> 00:22:43,066 - WELCOME TO THE FINALE OF SKATING WITH THE STARS. 584 00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:57,533 - I DEDICATED MYSELF TO THIS. I COMMITTED TO ETHAN. 585 00:22:57,533 --> 00:22:59,834 I SAID I WAS GOING TO DO THIS 586 00:22:59,834 --> 00:23:01,834 REGARDLESS OF HOW DIFFICULT IT WAS. 587 00:23:01,834 --> 00:23:03,734 AND IT WAS, AND I STUCK TO IT. 588 00:23:03,734 --> 00:23:08,233 AND FROM THE FIRST DAY TO THE VERY LAST DAY, 589 00:23:08,233 --> 00:23:09,767 I GAVE IT MY ALL. 590 00:23:09,767 --> 00:23:11,333 I WENT BALLS TO THE WALL, 591 00:23:11,333 --> 00:23:15,867 AND I WAS THERE FOR MY FANS TO SAY ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. 592 00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:22,000 [cheers and applause] 593 00:23:25,467 --> 00:23:28,667 - THE WINNERS, AND FIRST-EVER CHAMPIONS 594 00:23:28,667 --> 00:23:32,300 OF SKATING WITH THE STARS ARE... 595 00:23:34,066 --> 00:23:37,433 IT'S REBECCA AND FRED! 596 00:23:37,433 --> 00:23:40,433 [cheers and applause] 597 00:23:40,433 --> 00:23:43,000 - I SWEAR ON EVERYTHING I AM, 598 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:47,367 I WAS HAPPIER FOR ETHAN THAT HE GOT THROUGH TO THE END 599 00:23:47,367 --> 00:23:50,066 THAN I WAS THAT I EVEN MADE IT HALFWAY THROUGH. 600 00:23:50,066 --> 00:23:51,567 - WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SAY TO ETHAN? 601 00:23:51,567 --> 00:23:53,066 WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SAY TO YOUR PARTNER? 602 00:23:53,066 --> 00:23:54,967 - OH--OH, HIM? OH, SORRY. 603 00:23:54,967 --> 00:23:59,133 THIS GUY, ETHAN, HE IS THE MOST INCREDIBLE 604 00:23:59,133 --> 00:24:01,800 TEACHER, PERSON, FRIEND. 605 00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:03,633 I--I--I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT HIM. 606 00:24:03,633 --> 00:24:05,633 - THE BEST. - THE BEST. 607 00:24:05,633 --> 00:24:07,867 ETHAN IS THE ONLY THING I WILL MISS 608 00:24:07,867 --> 00:24:09,300 ABOUT SKATING WITH THE STARS. 609 00:24:09,300 --> 00:24:13,700 [cheers and applause] 610 00:24:22,467 --> 00:24:25,100 - BETHENNY. - YEAH. 611 00:24:25,100 --> 00:24:28,934 - NICK JUST SENT ME HIS BLOG FOR THE WEB SITE. 612 00:24:28,934 --> 00:24:31,467 - SKATING WITH THE STARS IS OVER, 613 00:24:31,467 --> 00:24:34,166 AND NOW IT'S BUSINESS AS USUAL. 614 00:24:34,166 --> 00:24:35,567 - ALL RIGHT, SO THIS IS NICK'S BLOG. 615 00:24:35,567 --> 00:24:36,600 I'VE PRINTED IT OUT. 616 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:38,200 I STARTED READING IT OVER-- 617 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:39,367 - IS THIS HOW IT STARTS-- 618 00:24:39,367 --> 00:24:40,467 "YOU KEEPING UP WITH ALL OF THIS?" 619 00:24:40,467 --> 00:24:41,734 - I THINK HE WROTE IT AS A STORY. 620 00:24:41,734 --> 00:24:43,567 - A LOT OF MY FANS GO TO MY WEB SITE 621 00:24:43,567 --> 00:24:45,633 AND WANT FOOD TIPS. 622 00:24:45,633 --> 00:24:48,867 AND I'VE ASKED NICK TO START A FOOD BLOG, 623 00:24:48,867 --> 00:24:52,066 AND TODAY IS THE FIRST ONE ABOUT THE STREET FAIR. 624 00:24:52,066 --> 00:24:53,533 OKAY. - JUST READ IT. 625 00:24:53,533 --> 00:24:55,133 READ IT OUT LOUD AND SEE IF YOU CAN GET IT. 626 00:24:55,133 --> 00:24:56,567 - "YOU KEEPING UP WITH ALL OF THIS? 627 00:24:56,567 --> 00:24:58,367 "IT WAS A VALID QUESTION. 628 00:24:58,367 --> 00:25:00,300 "I REPORTED TO THE HESTER STREET FAIR, 629 00:25:00,300 --> 00:25:02,066 "A SEASONAL GATHERING OF NEW YORK CITY 630 00:25:02,066 --> 00:25:03,367 "TAKE-OUT CHOW PLACES, 631 00:25:03,367 --> 00:25:05,867 ONLY TO FIND THE AFOREMENTIONED GROWING MOB." 632 00:25:05,867 --> 00:25:08,000 IF YOU HAD WROTE "AFOREMENTIONED" ONE TIME 633 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:09,433 IN THE TWO YEARS THAT YOU'VE WORKED HERE, 634 00:25:09,433 --> 00:25:10,900 YOU WOULD POSSIBLY GET A RAISE. 635 00:25:10,900 --> 00:25:12,066 - WAIT, HE CAN HELP WITH OUR WHOLE WEB SITE. 636 00:25:12,066 --> 00:25:14,133 THIS MIGHT BE THE ANSWER TO EVERYTHING. 637 00:25:14,133 --> 00:25:16,533 - "ONLY TO FIND THE AFOREMENTIONED GROWING MOB 638 00:25:16,533 --> 00:25:18,667 WE WOULD HAVE TO WEND OUR WAY THROUGH." 639 00:25:18,667 --> 00:25:21,000 WEND. JUST SAYING. - KEEP GOING. 640 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:22,767 - "WHILE BETHENNY COULD HANDLE SUCH SITUATIONS 641 00:25:22,767 --> 00:25:24,300 "WITH SEEMINGLY SHEER FORCE OF PURPOSE, 642 00:25:24,300 --> 00:25:26,266 "I OPTED SIMPLY TO STAY CLOSE AND HOPE I COULD 643 00:25:26,266 --> 00:25:27,567 PASS THROUGH IN HER WAKE." 644 00:25:27,567 --> 00:25:29,500 FIRST OF ALL, THERE HAS NOT BEEN ONE GRAMMATICAL ERROR. 645 00:25:29,500 --> 00:25:31,200 I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT. 646 00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:32,800 "FOR HER PART, SHE SEEMED READY FOR ANYTHING, 647 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:35,333 "APPROACHING STALL AFTER STALL, COOING AT SLIDERS 648 00:25:35,333 --> 00:25:36,667 "PREPARED WITH GOOEY GRILLED CHEDDAR, 649 00:25:36,667 --> 00:25:37,667 "AND LOBSTER ROLLS TO DIE FOR. 650 00:25:37,667 --> 00:25:39,400 "WHICH WAS ONLY MADE MORE AWKWARD 651 00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:41,133 BY MY ANNOUNCEMENT THAT I DIDN'T EAT MEAT." 652 00:25:41,133 --> 00:25:42,467 REALLY? 653 00:25:42,467 --> 00:25:43,967 "...I INFORMED HER-- AN ANNOUNCEMENT THAT BECAME 654 00:25:43,967 --> 00:25:46,500 "MORE AWKWARD WHEN I TOOK A BITE OUT OF WHAT TURNED OUT TO BE 655 00:25:46,500 --> 00:25:47,800 "A PULLED PORK EMPANADA, UNKNOWINGLY. 656 00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:49,900 BETHENNY SAW MY MISTAKE AND POINTED IT OUT." 657 00:25:49,900 --> 00:25:51,867 YOU'RE EATING A PORK ONE. - NO, IT'S A CHICKEN ONE. 658 00:25:51,867 --> 00:25:53,367 - NO, IT'S NOT. THIS IS QUACKING, 659 00:25:53,367 --> 00:25:54,900 AND THAT IS OINKING. 660 00:25:54,900 --> 00:25:58,533 ...SWITCHING OUR MEATY PASTRIES, AND IT WAS ON TO THE NEXT ONE." 661 00:25:58,533 --> 00:25:59,967 [both chuckle] 662 00:25:59,967 --> 00:26:02,033 "...CREMA AND SALSA VERDE WITH SOME LETTUCE... 663 00:26:02,033 --> 00:26:04,100 "'BETTER THAN SEX,' SHE EXCLAIMED MATTER-OF-FACTLY, 664 00:26:04,100 --> 00:26:05,300 "BEFORE OFFERING ME A PIECE... 665 00:26:05,300 --> 00:26:07,033 "WITH A BASELINE COOL RELIEF, AND REMINDED ME 666 00:26:07,033 --> 00:26:08,667 "OF A GUILTLESS VERSION OF THE CURRY... 667 00:26:08,667 --> 00:26:11,000 "PUMPKIN PIE AND MOLASSES COOKIE ICE CREAM SANDWICH 668 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,734 FROM HESTER FAIR'S PERENNIAL FAVORITE MELT BAKERY." 669 00:26:13,734 --> 00:26:16,200 PERENNIAL. ANOTHER $300 WORD. 670 00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:18,567 "AND THEN TREATING US ALL TO SPIKED ORGANIC SLUSHIES 671 00:26:18,567 --> 00:26:20,600 "FROM THE KELVIN SLUSH TRUCK PARKED OUTSIDE THE FAIR, 672 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:22,867 "WHICH WE SPIKED WITH ONE-SHOT BACARDIS 673 00:26:22,867 --> 00:26:25,066 I FOUND AT A LIQUOR STORE DOWN THE STREET." 674 00:26:25,066 --> 00:26:26,667 PUT IT IN THE BLOG, NICK. 675 00:26:26,667 --> 00:26:28,667 "AS WE LEFT OUR DAY OF FOOD ADVENTURE GOOD-BYE, 676 00:26:28,667 --> 00:26:31,300 "WE PASSED AND OPEN STOREFRONT WITH A SIGN SAYING, 677 00:26:31,300 --> 00:26:33,433 "'PIZZA CLASS IN SESSION' HANGING IN THE WINDOW. 678 00:26:33,433 --> 00:26:35,367 "'THERE,' SHE POINTED, WITH AN EXCITED GLEAM IN HER EYE, 679 00:26:35,367 --> 00:26:38,066 LOOKING AT ME, 'THAT'S FOR NEXT TIME.'" 680 00:26:38,066 --> 00:26:40,233 I MEAN, I THINK I JUST GOT WET. 681 00:26:40,233 --> 00:26:41,867 - THAT'S AWESOME. - THAT'S AMAZING! 682 00:26:41,867 --> 00:26:42,900 - LET'S CALL HIM. LET'S CALL HIM. 683 00:26:42,900 --> 00:26:43,967 - ALL RIGHT, WAIT. HOLD ON. 684 00:26:43,967 --> 00:26:46,066 HE IS GETTING A PART-TIME JOB HERE. 685 00:26:46,066 --> 00:26:47,200 HE IS NEEDED. 686 00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:48,834 [phone line rings] - HELLO? 687 00:26:48,834 --> 00:26:51,200 - HI, NICK. 688 00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:52,600 - OH, HI, MS. FRANKEL. HOW ARE YOU DOING? 689 00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:54,433 - FRANKEL... 690 00:26:54,433 --> 00:26:57,133 I'M GREAT. HOW ARE YOU? - I'M OKAY. 691 00:26:57,133 --> 00:26:59,767 - I LOVE YOUR... 692 00:26:59,767 --> 00:27:02,133 I'M CALLING IT A FOODTIME STORY. 693 00:27:02,133 --> 00:27:03,934 THAT'S WHAT IT FELT LIKE TO ME. 694 00:27:03,934 --> 00:27:06,133 LIKE I WAS READING A BEDTIME--A FOODTIME STORY. 695 00:27:06,133 --> 00:27:07,533 A BEDTIME STORY OF FOOD. 696 00:27:07,533 --> 00:27:10,166 - OKAY. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I'M GLAD YOU LIKED IT. 697 00:27:10,166 --> 00:27:13,333 - I REALLY, REALLY LOVED IT. I THINK IT'S SO DIFFERENT. 698 00:27:13,333 --> 00:27:16,834 AND IT CAPTURES MY PERSONALITY, WHICH PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW 699 00:27:16,834 --> 00:27:20,066 YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH ME, IN ADDITION TO THE FOOD, 700 00:27:20,066 --> 00:27:21,367 WHICH I WOULD NEVER HAVE THOUGHT OF. 701 00:27:21,367 --> 00:27:23,266 USUALLY BLOGS ARE JUST STRAIGHT UP ABOUT THE FOOD, 702 00:27:23,266 --> 00:27:24,600 WHICH EVERYBODY DOES. 703 00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:26,600 NICK EXPRESSES HIMSELF THROUGH HIS WRITING. 704 00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:29,800 HE'S OBVIOUSLY SHY, AND HE JUST COMES ALIVE 705 00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:31,333 THROUGH THE PEN. 706 00:27:31,333 --> 00:27:34,500 BUT ALSO, I'M SURE YOU'VE BEEN ON MY WEB SITE... 707 00:27:34,500 --> 00:27:37,633 AND WE NEED HELP EDITING. 708 00:27:37,633 --> 00:27:39,367 - THAT WOULD BE WONDERFUL. 709 00:27:39,367 --> 00:27:41,233 THAT SOUNDS LIKE A REALLY GREAT OPPORTUNITY. 710 00:27:41,233 --> 00:27:43,433 - YEAH. YOU'RE A VERY, VERY GOOD WRITER. 711 00:27:43,433 --> 00:27:45,200 I'M VERY IMPRESSED, I REALLY HAVE TO SAY. 712 00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:46,900 - THANK YOU VERY MUCH, MS. FRANKEL. 713 00:27:46,900 --> 00:27:48,300 - YOU'RE WELCOME. 714 00:27:48,300 --> 00:27:49,533 AND PLEASE ALWAYS CALL ME MS. FRANKEL, 715 00:27:49,533 --> 00:27:52,266 'CAUSE I REALLY DO APPRECIATE THAT. 716 00:27:52,266 --> 00:27:53,800 - OKAY. [laughing silently] 717 00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:56,333 - SO MAYBE WE SHOULD GO OUT AND HAVE DINNER, 718 00:27:56,333 --> 00:27:58,033 OR HAVE A DRINK OR SOMETHING. 719 00:27:58,033 --> 00:28:00,233 - I'D LOVE THAT. - YEAH? 720 00:28:00,233 --> 00:28:02,266 ALL RIGHT, I'LL PICK THE PLACE THIS TIME. 721 00:28:02,266 --> 00:28:03,767 I KNOW YOU LIKE STREET FOOD. 722 00:28:03,767 --> 00:28:05,233 MAYBE I'LL PICK SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE FANCY. 723 00:28:05,233 --> 00:28:06,734 SO YOU MIGHT HAVE TO WEAR, LIKE, A SUIT OR SOMETHING. 724 00:28:06,734 --> 00:28:08,433 OR, NO, LIKE A SPORT JACKET. DO YOU HAVE ONE? 725 00:28:08,433 --> 00:28:11,400 - I'M SURE I CAN FIND SOMETHING IN MY CLOSET, 726 00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:14,033 OR SOMETHING FROM MY DAD. - OKAY. 727 00:28:14,033 --> 00:28:16,266 ALL RIGHT, SO MAYBE WE'LL GO SOMEWHERE A LITTLE NICE. 728 00:28:16,266 --> 00:28:18,567 ALL RIGHT, NICK. AWESOME. 729 00:28:18,567 --> 00:28:20,066 - COMING UP... 730 00:28:20,066 --> 00:28:23,233 - SOMEONE'S READY FOR THE SKINNYGIRL TOUR. 731 00:28:23,233 --> 00:28:24,767 IT'S TURNED INTO THE TRAVELING CIRCUS. 732 00:28:24,767 --> 00:28:27,567 WE'VE GOT THE TALLEST MAN, THE TIBETAN NANNY, 733 00:28:27,567 --> 00:28:31,433 THE HUMAN DOG, THE BABY, JASON, ME. 734 00:28:31,433 --> 00:28:32,834 I MEAN, WHAT A [bleep] SHOW. 735 00:28:40,066 --> 00:28:41,700 - OH, MY GOD, SHE IS SO-- - YOU'RE RIGHT. 736 00:28:41,700 --> 00:28:44,033 THEY HAVE ADULT-- I CAN TAKE YOGA? 737 00:28:44,033 --> 00:28:46,100 - YEAH. THEY HAVE EVERYTHING. WHOLE DEAL. 738 00:28:46,100 --> 00:28:47,700 - WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DO YOGA? 739 00:28:47,700 --> 00:28:49,333 - YOU DROP THE KID-- THERE'S LIKE A LITTLE-- 740 00:28:49,333 --> 00:28:50,800 - YOU'VE DONE THIS, HAVEN'T YOU? 741 00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:52,467 YOU LEAVE THE KID, AND THEN YOU DO YOUR WORKOUT? 742 00:28:52,467 --> 00:28:53,567 - AT THE GYM. AT THE GYM I DO THAT. 743 00:28:53,567 --> 00:28:55,333 - AND WHAT TO THEY DO WITH THE KID? 744 00:28:55,333 --> 00:28:56,900 - THEY'RE UNBELIEVABLE. IT'S A WHOLE-- 745 00:28:56,900 --> 00:28:59,033 - BUT DON'T YOU HAVE A PERSON TAKING CARE OF YOUR KID? 746 00:28:59,033 --> 00:29:00,734 YOU KNOW I'M NEVER DOING THAT. - YOU WILL. 747 00:29:00,734 --> 00:29:03,934 TRUST ME, YOU'LL SEE. - WELL, I DON'T LIKE IT. 748 00:29:03,934 --> 00:29:07,166 SO NOW, WHAT WOULD WE DO IN THERE? 749 00:29:07,166 --> 00:29:09,000 WHAT WOULD YOU EVEN DO? 750 00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,867 - YOU WOULD JUST DROP HER AND RUN. 751 00:29:11,867 --> 00:29:13,133 - I GUESS I SHOULD BE HANGING OUT 752 00:29:13,133 --> 00:29:15,533 WITH A POSITIVE MOMMY ROLE MODEL. 753 00:29:15,533 --> 00:29:17,433 BUT INSTEAD, I'M HANGING OUT WITH THIS ANIMAL. 754 00:29:17,433 --> 00:29:20,066 - WATCH THE PACKAGE AND STUFF. 755 00:29:20,066 --> 00:29:22,967 - AWW... - LOOK, HE'S HOLDING ON. 756 00:29:22,967 --> 00:29:25,867 - AWW. YAY. 757 00:29:25,867 --> 00:29:28,066 OH, DON'T HIT HER YET. 758 00:29:28,066 --> 00:29:29,967 DON'T HIT HER YET. 759 00:29:29,967 --> 00:29:32,066 DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS FOR MUCH LATER. 760 00:29:32,066 --> 00:29:34,700 - WAIT TILL SHE CHEATS ON YOU... 761 00:29:34,700 --> 00:29:36,934 STEALS YOUR MONEY. 762 00:29:52,633 --> 00:29:53,667 - HELLO. 763 00:29:53,667 --> 00:29:55,467 - HI, BETHENNY. - HOW ARE YOU? 764 00:29:55,467 --> 00:29:56,934 - GOOD TO SEE YOU. - GOOD TO SEE YOU. 765 00:29:56,934 --> 00:29:58,934 HOW'S IT GOING? - IT'S GOING OKAY. 766 00:29:58,934 --> 00:30:00,767 - YOU HUNGRY. - UH, YES. YES, I AM. 767 00:30:00,767 --> 00:30:03,500 - GOOD. LET'S GO. 768 00:30:03,500 --> 00:30:05,900 I WILL TURN MY PHONE OFF, AS I DO ON ALL DATES. 769 00:30:05,900 --> 00:30:07,967 - DATE? - YEAH. 770 00:30:07,967 --> 00:30:09,133 I MEAN, DON'T GET ALL EXCITED. 771 00:30:09,133 --> 00:30:10,834 I MEAN, IT'S A CELIBATE DATE. 772 00:30:10,834 --> 00:30:12,300 - OKAY. OKAY. 773 00:30:12,300 --> 00:30:14,567 - YOU GOT A HAIRCUT. - YEAH, I DID. 774 00:30:14,567 --> 00:30:16,166 - WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT? 775 00:30:16,166 --> 00:30:19,233 - YOU KNOW, UM, MY MOM WAS MAKING FUN OF ME, 776 00:30:19,233 --> 00:30:20,467 AND MY FRIENDS WERE MAKING FUN OF ME, 777 00:30:20,467 --> 00:30:22,100 SO I DECIDED TO GET A HAIRCUT. 778 00:30:22,100 --> 00:30:24,533 - THEY WERE MAKING FUN OF YOU, OR JUST JOKING? 779 00:30:24,533 --> 00:30:26,333 - YOU KNOW, "WHEN ARE YOU GONNA GET A HAIRCUT?" 780 00:30:26,333 --> 00:30:28,533 YOU KNOW, "YOU LOOK LIKE RONALD McDONALD." 781 00:30:28,533 --> 00:30:30,633 - YOU NEVER LOOKED LIKE RONALD McDONALD. 782 00:30:30,633 --> 00:30:32,834 A YEAR AGO, I WAS LOOKING FOR ASSISTANTS, 783 00:30:32,834 --> 00:30:36,066 AND I GAVE THAT JOB TO THE GUY 784 00:30:36,066 --> 00:30:38,266 WHO WOULD GET THE GIRLS IN THE BAR, 785 00:30:38,266 --> 00:30:40,767 AND I DIDN'T HIRE THE NERDY GUY. 786 00:30:40,767 --> 00:30:42,400 DO YOU LIKE IT? - UM, YEAH. 787 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:43,734 I ACTUALLY DO LIKE IT, SURPRISINGLY. 788 00:30:43,734 --> 00:30:45,033 I THINK THEY DID A PRETTY GOOD JOB. 789 00:30:45,033 --> 00:30:46,633 I'M USUALLY WORRIED THAT THEY CUT IT TOO SHORT. 790 00:30:46,633 --> 00:30:48,000 - I DON'T THINK SO. I THINK IT LOOKS GOOD. 791 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:49,800 - I JUST LIKE HAVING IT BE A LITTLE BIT CURLY 792 00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:52,066 ON TOP, OR A LITTLE WAVY, OR WHATEVER. 793 00:30:52,066 --> 00:30:53,500 I'M WORRIED THAT IT'LL JUST LOOK LIKE 794 00:30:53,500 --> 00:30:56,166 I HAVE, LIKE, A SKINHEAD OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 795 00:30:56,166 --> 00:30:57,400 - YOU DO NOT LOOK LIKE A SKINHEAD. 796 00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:59,700 IT IS CURLY AND WAVY ON TOP. 797 00:30:59,700 --> 00:31:00,900 AND YOU DO NOT, NOR DID YOU EVER 798 00:31:00,900 --> 00:31:02,166 LOOK LIKE RONALD McDONALD. 799 00:31:02,166 --> 00:31:03,300 - THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THAT'S KIND OF YOU TO SAY. 800 00:31:03,300 --> 00:31:04,600 - YOU'RE WELCOME. 801 00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:06,266 ALL RIGHT, DO YOU WANT TO MAKE A TOAST? 802 00:31:06,266 --> 00:31:08,166 - CHEERS. - OKAY, WELL, I THOUGHT-- 803 00:31:08,166 --> 00:31:09,367 I THOUGHT YOUR BLOG WAS AMAZING, 804 00:31:09,367 --> 00:31:12,233 AND IT WAS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT...TAKE ON IT 805 00:31:12,233 --> 00:31:13,633 THAN I WOULD EVER HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT. 806 00:31:13,633 --> 00:31:15,333 THE WAY THAT I WANTED IT TO BE DONE 807 00:31:15,333 --> 00:31:17,667 WAS SORT OF VERY... BEEN THERE, DONE THAT. 808 00:31:17,667 --> 00:31:19,333 - AND I THOUGH THE WAY YOU DID IT 809 00:31:19,333 --> 00:31:22,900 WAS A NICE STORY, BUT NOT GOING ON FOR DAYS ABOUT IT. 810 00:31:22,900 --> 00:31:24,100 I THOUGHT IT WAS REALLY GREAT. 811 00:31:24,100 --> 00:31:25,834 IT ENGAGED THE READER, AND I REALLY LIKED IT. 812 00:31:25,834 --> 00:31:26,967 - THAN YOU VERY MUCH. 813 00:31:26,967 --> 00:31:28,800 - SO I WANT TO MAKE A TOAST TO YOU. 814 00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:30,500 - CHEERS. - AND LOOK ME IN THE EYE. 815 00:31:30,500 --> 00:31:31,767 OTHERWISE, SEVEN YEARS OF BAD SEX. 816 00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:35,900 YOU KNOW, I JUST COULDN'T SEE HIM 817 00:31:35,900 --> 00:31:38,533 CARRYING MY DRESSES, 818 00:31:38,533 --> 00:31:41,066 OR WANTING TO COME TO THE RACHEL RAY SHOW, 819 00:31:41,066 --> 00:31:43,934 OR CARING ABOUT HALF OF THE NONSENSE IN MY LIFE. 820 00:31:43,934 --> 00:31:46,000 HE REALLY ONLY CARES ABOUT FOOD. 821 00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:47,900 DIFFERENT THAN NORMAL CHINESE FOOD, RIGHT? 822 00:31:47,900 --> 00:31:50,667 - I BET THEY FANCY THEMSELVES PAN-ASIAN OR WHATEVER. 823 00:31:50,667 --> 00:31:52,100 - IF YOU ASKED ME WHAT SCHEZWAN--I DON'T-- 824 00:31:52,100 --> 00:31:53,800 YOU WOULD TELL ME. WHAT IS SCHEZWAN? 825 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:54,934 WHAT IS MANDARIN? 826 00:31:54,934 --> 00:31:56,400 LIKE, WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE IN THE FOOD? 827 00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:58,367 - I WISH I HAD A GREAT EXPLANATION. 828 00:31:58,367 --> 00:32:00,300 - I HAVE NO--CANTONESE-- I HAVE NO IDEA. 829 00:32:00,300 --> 00:32:02,567 - THEY'RE DIFFERENT PROVINCES, AND, UM, 830 00:32:02,567 --> 00:32:05,600 CANTONESE FOOD WAS, AS FAR AS I KNOW 831 00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:07,967 FROM JUST, LIKE, A BASIC ASKING, 832 00:32:07,967 --> 00:32:09,734 WAS THE FIRST CHINESE FOOD THAT WAS INTRODUCED TO AMERICA. 833 00:32:09,734 --> 00:32:11,734 CANTON IS ONE OF THE POORER PROVINCES OF CHINA. 834 00:32:11,734 --> 00:32:14,500 SO THEY WERE SOME OF THE FIRST TO EMIGRATE HERE. 835 00:32:14,500 --> 00:32:18,166 - NICK HAS A VERY, VERY SPECIFIC VALUE. 836 00:32:18,166 --> 00:32:20,633 HE REALLY KNOWS WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT. 837 00:32:20,633 --> 00:32:22,633 HE'S VERY PASSIONATE, WHICH IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING 838 00:32:22,633 --> 00:32:24,300 IN ANYTHING YOU DO. 839 00:32:24,300 --> 00:32:26,166 - THEY WERE NOT KNOWN FOR SPICY FOOD. 840 00:32:26,166 --> 00:32:28,700 THEY WERE KNOWN FOR MORE THINGS BASED IN BLACK BEAN SAUCES, 841 00:32:28,700 --> 00:32:30,100 AND MORE SAVORY THINGS. 842 00:32:30,100 --> 00:32:31,767 BUT NOT AS, LIKE, A GREAT FOOD PLACE. 843 00:32:31,767 --> 00:32:33,900 - BUT I DO LOVE HOW YOU SAID, "I WISH I HAD AN EXPLANATION." 844 00:32:33,900 --> 00:32:36,100 WHEN YOU SPEAK OF CANTONESE EMIGRANTS, 845 00:32:36,100 --> 00:32:39,000 I'D SAY THAT'S A DECENT EXPLANATION. 846 00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:40,800 - THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THAT'S KIND OF YOU TO SAY. 847 00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:42,767 - YOU'RE WELCOME. - I DID HAVE ONE THING 848 00:32:42,767 --> 00:32:47,767 I WANTED TO ASK YOUR ADVICE ON, IF IT'S NOT TOO AWKWARD. 849 00:32:47,767 --> 00:32:51,233 MY GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME, UM... 850 00:32:51,233 --> 00:32:52,400 - HOW LONG WERE YOU WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND? 851 00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:54,000 - A YEAR AND A HALF. 852 00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,000 - WAS THAT YOUR FIRST BIG GIRLFRIEND OF YOUR LIFE? 853 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:57,467 - YEAH. - WERE YOU IN LOVE? 854 00:32:57,467 --> 00:32:58,500 - YEAH. - WHY DID SHE BREAK UP-- 855 00:32:58,500 --> 00:33:00,734 IS IT DONE FOR SURE? - I THINK SO. 856 00:33:00,734 --> 00:33:04,100 I MEAN, I'M SOMEBODY WHO REALLY LIKES TO BE AFFECTIONATE, 857 00:33:04,100 --> 00:33:06,467 AND TO, YOU KNOW-- AND TO SEE HER A LOT. 858 00:33:06,467 --> 00:33:07,734 IT WAS KIND OF GROSS. 859 00:33:07,734 --> 00:33:09,166 I WAS, LIKE, A P.D.A. IN PUBLIC TYPE GUY. 860 00:33:09,166 --> 00:33:11,467 - YOU'RE A LITTLE NEEDY. - YEAH. 861 00:33:11,467 --> 00:33:12,633 - THAT'S ALL RIGHT. 862 00:33:12,633 --> 00:33:14,200 I'VE BEEN NEEDY IN SOME RELATIONSHIPS TOO. 863 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:17,433 THE MORE NEEDY YOU GET, THE MORE THEY BACK UP, 864 00:33:17,433 --> 00:33:19,000 AND THEN YOU BECOME MORE NEEDY, 865 00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:20,934 AND IT'S A WHOLE VICIOUS CYCLE. - THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED. 866 00:33:20,934 --> 00:33:22,400 - YOU DON'T SEEM LIKE THE KIND OF PERSON 867 00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:25,467 THAT'S GONNA WALK INTO A BAR AND TALK TO SOMEONE. 868 00:33:25,467 --> 00:33:28,600 SO I MIGHT TRY ONLINE DATING. - YEAH, UM... 869 00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:30,100 - I THINK IT'D BE PERFECT FOR YOU 870 00:33:30,100 --> 00:33:32,900 BECAUSE YOU'RE VERY COMMUNICATIVE IN WRITING. 871 00:33:32,900 --> 00:33:35,266 BUT YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO BE ACCURATE. 872 00:33:35,266 --> 00:33:38,033 YOU CAN'T ACT LIKE YOU'RE THIS BIG FLOWER IN WRITING, 873 00:33:38,033 --> 00:33:40,800 AND THEN MEET THE PERSON AND BE QUIET... 874 00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:42,200 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 875 00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:44,066 DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE? - NO, NO, IT DOES. 876 00:33:44,066 --> 00:33:46,433 - I BEAT MYSELF UP ALL THE TIME. 877 00:33:46,433 --> 00:33:50,000 YOU BEAT YOURSELF UP PROBABLY EVEN MORE THAN I DO. 878 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:51,934 OR AT LEAST MORE VOCALLY. 879 00:33:51,934 --> 00:33:52,934 HAVE AN INTENT TO NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP, 880 00:33:52,934 --> 00:33:55,066 AND I WILL DO THE SAME. 881 00:33:55,066 --> 00:33:57,200 - THAT SOUNDS LIKE AN ACHIEVABLE GOAL. 882 00:33:57,200 --> 00:33:58,934 - IT'S A GOOD ONE. SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE GIRL. 883 00:33:58,934 --> 00:34:00,300 WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF. 884 00:34:00,300 --> 00:34:02,166 AND THEN, WHEN YOU ARE A WHOLE PERSON, 885 00:34:02,166 --> 00:34:05,033 THAT FEELS COMPLETELY GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF, 886 00:34:05,033 --> 00:34:07,433 THEN YOU'LL FIND THE RIGHT GIRL. 887 00:34:07,433 --> 00:34:08,700 - THANK YOU FOR THAT. 888 00:34:08,700 --> 00:34:11,000 - YOU'RE WELCOME. IT'S TRUE, THOUGH. 889 00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,533 CHEERS TO US WORKING TOGETHER. 890 00:34:13,533 --> 00:34:15,066 - CHEERS. - AND TO YOU-- 891 00:34:15,066 --> 00:34:17,734 NICE. I SAW YOU CAUGHT YOURSELF. - HEY, THERE YOU GO. 892 00:34:29,066 --> 00:34:32,166 - ALL RIGHT, LISTEN, THIS IS OPERATION LEAN MACHINE. 893 00:34:32,166 --> 00:34:35,233 ONE BAG. I WANNA BRING LIKE MINIMAL [bleep].COM. 894 00:34:35,233 --> 00:34:37,233 WE'RE HEADED OUT FOR THE SKINNYGIRL TOUR, 895 00:34:37,233 --> 00:34:39,633 AND EVERYONE'S COMING, INCLUDING COOKIE. 896 00:34:39,633 --> 00:34:42,000 HOW LONG IS EACH NIGHT? - 90 MINUTES OF SPEAKING. 897 00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:44,000 - FOR HOW LONG? - BACK-TO-BACK EVERY NIGHT. 898 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:45,567 I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT. 899 00:34:45,567 --> 00:34:46,967 IT'S LIKE GROUNDHOG DAY EVERY DAY. 900 00:34:46,967 --> 00:34:49,266 GET UP AND DO IT AGAIN. - IT'S GONNA BE GRUELING, NO? 901 00:34:49,266 --> 00:34:50,567 - WHAT ISN'T GRUELING? 902 00:34:50,567 --> 00:34:52,567 EVERY WEEKEND FOR THE NEXT FEW MONTHS, 903 00:34:52,567 --> 00:34:54,133 WE ALL GET ON THE TOUR BUS. 904 00:34:54,133 --> 00:34:56,333 WE GO DO THE TOUR FOR THREE NIGHTS. 905 00:34:56,333 --> 00:34:58,233 AND THEN WE ALL GET BACK ON THE BUS 906 00:34:58,233 --> 00:34:59,900 AND WE ROLL BACK INTO MANHATTAN, 907 00:34:59,900 --> 00:35:02,400 AND WE DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN THE NEXT WEEKEND. 908 00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:04,533 - THIS IS ALL THE [bleep] WE'RE TAKING? 909 00:35:04,533 --> 00:35:06,834 - ♪♪ WE'RE GOIN' ON A TRIP ♪♪ 910 00:35:06,834 --> 00:35:08,266 - SOMEONE'S BEING LEAN. 911 00:35:08,266 --> 00:35:10,166 YOU HAVE THREE OF THE SAME SWEATER IN HERE. 912 00:35:10,166 --> 00:35:12,300 - YOU'RE NOT BRINGING TOO MUCH STUFF, RIGHT? 913 00:35:12,300 --> 00:35:14,033 LEAN. AND MEAN. 914 00:35:14,033 --> 00:35:17,133 - BETHENNY, DAWA PACKS BETTER THAN YOU. 915 00:35:17,133 --> 00:35:18,633 - [whispers] OH, LOOK AT THIS. 916 00:35:18,633 --> 00:35:20,000 LOOK AT IT! 917 00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,667 - HOLD ON, LET'S PUT HER-- THIS STUFF IN HERE. 918 00:35:22,667 --> 00:35:24,433 - MA-MA-MA. 919 00:35:24,433 --> 00:35:26,967 - WHAT? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? 920 00:35:26,967 --> 00:35:29,300 SHE SAID MA-MA-MA! 921 00:35:29,300 --> 00:35:31,200 - NO WAY. - YES! 922 00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:33,667 - SHE SAID MA-MA-MA? SHE SAID MA-MA-MA. 923 00:35:33,667 --> 00:35:36,233 [Bryn squealing] 924 00:35:36,233 --> 00:35:39,333 SOMEONE'S READY FOR THE SKINNYGIRL TOUR. 925 00:35:39,333 --> 00:35:41,400 - NO WAY! 926 00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:43,734 YOU LOOK LIKE A MEMBER OF RUN-DMC. 927 00:35:43,734 --> 00:35:45,767 - HOLD HER UP SO I CAN SEE HER. - YOU LOOK SO COOL! 928 00:35:45,767 --> 00:35:47,800 - HOLD HER UP SO I CAN SEE HER. 929 00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:49,834 - YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW CUTE YOU LOOK. 930 00:35:49,834 --> 00:35:51,834 - YEAH! - YOU READY TO GO ON THE BUS? 931 00:35:51,834 --> 00:35:54,100 - YEAH, JACKIE THE INTERN IS HERE. 932 00:35:54,100 --> 00:35:56,567 - WOW! 933 00:35:56,567 --> 00:35:57,900 - JACKIE WAS AN INTERN OF MINE 934 00:35:57,900 --> 00:35:59,266 WHO JUST GRADUATED COLLEGE, 935 00:35:59,266 --> 00:36:00,734 SO SHE'S STARTING TO WORK WITH US 936 00:36:00,734 --> 00:36:02,734 ON A MORE REGULAR BASIS. 937 00:36:02,734 --> 00:36:05,934 SO WE'RE THROWING HER INTO THE FIRE WITH THE TOUR. 938 00:36:05,934 --> 00:36:07,533 HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR A LITTLE INSANITY. 939 00:36:07,533 --> 00:36:08,867 - OKAY. - ALL RIGHT. 940 00:36:08,867 --> 00:36:10,533 SO...WHOA! - I KNOW, IT'S-- 941 00:36:10,533 --> 00:36:11,834 - WE'LL TALK. LET'S TALK IT THROUGH. 942 00:36:11,834 --> 00:36:13,367 - I WANNA DISCUSS IT. 943 00:36:13,367 --> 00:36:16,400 - ALL OF BRYN'S FOOD AND TOYS. 944 00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:18,700 - WE DON'T NEED THE LAMB. - THAT'S NOT VERY LEAN. 945 00:36:18,700 --> 00:36:20,600 - IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER. IT'S NOT TAKING UP-- 946 00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:22,166 WE'RE STILL BRINGING THAT BAG. - FINE. WHAT ELSE? 947 00:36:22,166 --> 00:36:24,734 - BRYN'S FOOD AND TOYS. - GOT IT. 948 00:36:24,734 --> 00:36:26,367 - BRYN'S CLOTHING. THIS IS JASON'S. 949 00:36:26,367 --> 00:36:28,133 THIS IS YOURS. JASON'S WORK BAG. 950 00:36:28,133 --> 00:36:31,266 - THIS IS BETHENNY'S BOOB. - THIS IS DAWA'S ONE BAG. 951 00:36:31,266 --> 00:36:33,266 - EVERYBODY SHOULD LEARN TO PACK LIKE DAWA, 952 00:36:33,266 --> 00:36:34,700 JUST SO EVERYONE KNOWS. [Cookie barking] 953 00:36:34,700 --> 00:36:35,867 WHO IS THIS NOW? HI! 954 00:36:35,867 --> 00:36:37,633 - BRIAN'S HERE! 955 00:36:37,633 --> 00:36:38,834 - HE HAS MORE STUFF. 956 00:36:38,834 --> 00:36:40,967 - THAT'S HOW LIGHT YOU PACK AT THAT HEIGHT? 957 00:36:40,967 --> 00:36:42,433 - HE HAS A WHOLE BAG ON THE BACK. 958 00:36:42,433 --> 00:36:43,633 - READY, BIG GUY? 959 00:36:43,633 --> 00:36:45,333 I HOPE YOU CAN STAND UP IN THAT BUS. 960 00:36:54,934 --> 00:36:58,767 - THAT IS SO AWESOME! - WHOA! 961 00:37:01,266 --> 00:37:04,333 - YEAH, WE'RE LIKE A GANGSTER RAPPER, ONLY WORSE LANGUAGE. 962 00:37:04,333 --> 00:37:06,567 IT'S TURNED INTO THE TRAVELING CIRCUS. 963 00:37:06,567 --> 00:37:08,033 WE'VE GOT THE TALLEST MAN, 964 00:37:08,033 --> 00:37:10,500 THE TIBETAN NANNY, THE HUMAN DOG, 965 00:37:10,500 --> 00:37:12,000 THE BABY, JASON, ME. 966 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:15,500 I MEAN, WHAT A [bleep] SHOW. 967 00:37:15,500 --> 00:37:17,500 FIRST STOP... 968 00:37:17,500 --> 00:37:20,533 RED BANK, NEW JERSEY. 969 00:37:20,533 --> 00:37:21,934 - I'M EXCITED FOR YOU. - ME TOO. 970 00:37:21,934 --> 00:37:23,767 I WISH I KNEW WHAT I WAS TALKIN' ABOUT, BUT... 971 00:37:23,767 --> 00:37:25,033 - IT'S A FANTASTIC BUS. - I KNOW. 972 00:37:25,033 --> 00:37:27,600 ARE YOU AWARE THAT THIS IS LIKE FULL ON TWO HOURS 973 00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:31,934 OF JUST LIKE STARING INTO... 2,000 PEOPLE AND SPEAKING? 974 00:37:31,934 --> 00:37:33,834 I'VE SPOKEN TO HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE. 975 00:37:33,834 --> 00:37:36,633 BUT I'VE NEVER SPOKEN TO THOUSANDS. 976 00:37:36,633 --> 00:37:38,000 IT'S DIFFERENT. 977 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:39,934 I'M NERVOUS AND EXCITED. 978 00:37:39,934 --> 00:37:41,600 UM, THERE'S A RULE ON THE BUS. 979 00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:44,433 - WHAT? 980 00:37:44,433 --> 00:37:46,767 - THERE'S NO [bleep] ON THE BUS. NO NUMBER TWO. 981 00:37:46,767 --> 00:37:47,967 RULE NUMBER ONE-- NO NUMBER TWO. 982 00:37:47,967 --> 00:37:50,133 - I THINK WE CAN ALL MAKE IT FOR AN HOUR. 983 00:37:50,133 --> 00:37:51,433 - NO, JASON THINKS-- 984 00:37:51,433 --> 00:37:52,767 - JASON CAN'T MAKE IT FOR AN HOUR? 985 00:37:52,767 --> 00:37:54,333 - HE CAN MAKE IT FOR AN HOUR, 986 00:37:54,333 --> 00:37:56,133 BUT THERE ARE OTHER DAYS THAT IT'S FIVE AND SIX HOURS. 987 00:37:56,133 --> 00:37:57,967 TOMORROW'S MORE HOURS. - NO PROBLEM FOR ME, HONEY. 988 00:37:57,967 --> 00:38:00,100 IT'S NOT REALLY LIKE I WANNA DO THAT. 989 00:38:00,100 --> 00:38:01,433 - IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, 990 00:38:01,433 --> 00:38:04,600 THE BATHROOM IS OPPOSITE THE REFRIGERATOR. 991 00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:06,734 - WHAT DO YOU DO? - ME? 992 00:38:06,734 --> 00:38:09,333 - YEAH. - I DO WHAT EVERYBODY ELSE DOES. 993 00:38:09,333 --> 00:38:11,767 - YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING. - THAT'S A NICE BATHROOM. 994 00:38:11,767 --> 00:38:13,300 - SHUT THE BATHROOM. SHUT THE TOILET. 995 00:38:13,300 --> 00:38:14,633 - IT'S NOT EVEN UP. - JUST SHUT IT. 996 00:38:14,633 --> 00:38:16,900 SHUT THE BATHROOM. [door closes] 997 00:38:16,900 --> 00:38:18,867 - I CAN'T WAIT TILL YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. 998 00:38:18,867 --> 00:38:20,967 [bleep] RUNS DOWNHILL. - [bleep] RUNS DOWNHILL. 999 00:38:20,967 --> 00:38:22,233 YEAH. BUT NOT ON THE BUS. 1000 00:38:22,233 --> 00:38:23,767 [bleep] RUNS NOWHERE ON THE BUS. 1001 00:38:23,767 --> 00:38:25,533 - YOU'VE GOTTA STOP WITH THE [bleep]. 1002 00:38:25,533 --> 00:38:26,934 - YOU KNOW WHAT, THOUGH? - WE JUST-- 1003 00:38:26,934 --> 00:38:28,367 - WHAT'S THAT? 1004 00:38:28,367 --> 00:38:30,533 - BRIAN WANTS ME TO CUT THE [bleep]. 1005 00:38:30,533 --> 00:38:31,934 - HA HA HA! 1006 00:38:31,934 --> 00:38:34,300 THAT WAS [bleep]. 1007 00:38:34,300 --> 00:38:36,633 [Bryn crying] 1008 00:38:36,633 --> 00:38:38,233 [clattering] OOH, [bleep]. 1009 00:38:38,233 --> 00:38:40,300 I THINK WE BROKE SOMETHING ON THE BUS ALREADY. 1010 00:38:40,300 --> 00:38:42,767 I THINK I BROKE SOMETHING BAD. - YEAH. 1011 00:38:42,767 --> 00:38:44,533 - I THINK I BROKE MARBLE. WHAT DID I BREAK? 1012 00:38:44,533 --> 00:38:46,934 CAN IT BE FIXED? - THE REFRIGERATOR. 1013 00:38:46,934 --> 00:38:48,967 YOU BROKE THIS WHOLE THING. 1014 00:38:48,967 --> 00:38:52,433 [Bryn crying] 1015 00:38:52,433 --> 00:38:54,633 THAT PIECE YOU BROKE IS WHAT'S-- 1016 00:38:54,633 --> 00:38:56,266 - TELL SOMEBODY. - I'M TRYING 1017 00:38:56,266 --> 00:38:58,266 TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU, AND YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME. 1018 00:38:58,266 --> 00:39:00,367 - I DIDN'T DO IT. I'M TELLING, YOU DID IT. 1019 00:39:00,367 --> 00:39:02,133 - I DIDN'T DO IT. - UH, YES, YOU DID. 1020 00:39:02,133 --> 00:39:04,500 'CAUSE YOU DIDN'T GET THE BABY TO STOP CRYING. 1021 00:39:04,500 --> 00:39:07,166 - SO I'LL GO TALK TO SOMEBODY FOR HER. 1022 00:39:07,166 --> 00:39:08,367 LYN. - YES, SIR. 1023 00:39:08,367 --> 00:39:10,700 - BETHENNY SAT ON THE COOLER AND BROKE THIS. 1024 00:39:10,700 --> 00:39:12,467 - OH, OKAY. - IS THAT A BIG DEAL OR-- 1025 00:39:12,467 --> 00:39:14,533 - NO. - NO? 1026 00:39:14,533 --> 00:39:16,033 LET'S TELL HER IT'S 1,000 BUCKS. 1027 00:39:16,033 --> 00:39:18,033 ALL RIGHT? - YOU DO THAT. 1028 00:39:18,033 --> 00:39:20,900 - OH, I WILL, SO YOU JUST GOTTA KEEP IT GOIN'. 1029 00:39:20,900 --> 00:39:22,667 - OKAY. - ALL RIGHT. 1030 00:39:22,667 --> 00:39:24,700 THIS IS GONNA COST YOU, LIKE, 1,000 BUCKS. 1031 00:39:24,700 --> 00:39:26,433 - WHO SAID THAT? - LYN. 1032 00:39:26,433 --> 00:39:28,066 THIS IS, LIKE, MARBLE. 1033 00:39:28,066 --> 00:39:31,967 AND THAT'S A REFRIGERATOR RIGHT THERE, LIKE, CUSTOM. 1034 00:39:31,967 --> 00:39:34,300 SO WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? - YOU'RE GONNA FIX IT. 1035 00:39:34,300 --> 00:39:35,834 - IT'S--IT'S-- I CAN'T FIX THIS. 1036 00:39:35,834 --> 00:39:37,633 WHAT AM I GONNA DO, LIKE-- - SOMEONE BROKE THAT 1037 00:39:37,633 --> 00:39:38,967 AND GLUED IT TOGETHER. 1038 00:39:38,967 --> 00:39:41,633 - I'M GONNA LIKE LIKE A SAW IN HERE AND CUT MARBLE? 1039 00:39:41,633 --> 00:39:44,834 - NO. YOU'RE GONNA GET MARBLE GLUE AND GLUE IT TOGETHER. 1040 00:39:44,834 --> 00:39:48,667 - I DON'T THINK THEY'RE GONNA...ACCEPT THAT. 1041 00:39:48,667 --> 00:39:50,133 - I'M REALLY NOT HAPPY. - NEITHER AM I. 1042 00:39:50,133 --> 00:39:51,467 THAT'S 1,000 BUCKS. - YOU CAN PAY FOR IT. 1043 00:39:51,467 --> 00:39:53,500 - I'M NOT PAYIN' FOR IT. YOU BROKE IT. 1044 00:39:53,500 --> 00:39:55,100 - IT'S NOT 1,000 BUCKS. 1045 00:39:55,100 --> 00:39:57,400 - ASK HER. - I'M GOING TO. 1046 00:39:57,400 --> 00:40:00,266 MOUSE. IS THAT REALLY BAD? 1047 00:40:00,266 --> 00:40:02,433 - YEAH. IT'S PRETTY BAD. 1048 00:40:02,433 --> 00:40:04,900 - CAN WE PRETEND THAT... YOU DID IT? 1049 00:40:04,900 --> 00:40:06,600 YOU STOPPED SHORT AND SOMETHING HAPPENED? 1050 00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:08,900 - YEAH, IT JUST HAPPENED. I JUST-- 1051 00:40:08,900 --> 00:40:10,433 - MAYBE IT'S YOUR AND JASON'S FAULT 1052 00:40:10,433 --> 00:40:12,800 BECAUSE YOU GUYS PUT THE BABY SEAT RIGHT NEXT TO IT 1053 00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:14,433 SO THAT WHEN THE BABY WAS CRYING, 1054 00:40:14,433 --> 00:40:16,467 I HAD TO GO UP AND GET TO THE SIDE 1055 00:40:16,467 --> 00:40:19,000 TO GET UP AND GET HER-- - EXACTLY. 1056 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:21,667 IT'S OUR FAULT 'CAUSE WE PUT IT WHERE WE DID. 1057 00:40:21,667 --> 00:40:23,300 - IT'S YOUR FAULT. 1058 00:40:23,300 --> 00:40:25,734 YOU GUYS PUT THE BABY SEAT RIGHT NEXT TO IT. 1059 00:40:25,734 --> 00:40:28,233 - YOU JUMPED ON THERE. 1060 00:40:28,233 --> 00:40:30,033 - I KNOW. 1061 00:40:30,033 --> 00:40:32,867 IF YOU PASS THE MARBLE STORE THAT HAS THE MARBLE GLUE, 1062 00:40:32,867 --> 00:40:34,533 WE'RE GONNA STOP AND GET SOME, OKAY? 1063 00:40:34,533 --> 00:40:37,633 - ALL RIGHT. [laughter] 1064 00:40:37,633 --> 00:40:39,133 - COMING UP... 1065 00:40:39,133 --> 00:40:40,633 - WE'RE SOLD OUT TONIGHT. - [laughing] MY GOD! 1066 00:40:40,633 --> 00:40:43,367 - LIKE ALL THE WAY IN BACK THEY SOLD OUT? 1067 00:40:43,367 --> 00:40:44,700 - OH, YEAH. - LIKE THERE'S SOMEONE 1068 00:40:44,700 --> 00:40:46,433 SITTING IN THAT BACK RIGHT SEAT UP THERE? 1069 00:40:46,433 --> 00:40:47,900 - EVERY SINGLE SEAT. - OKAY. 1070 00:41:00,100 --> 00:41:03,433 - WHOA! "TONIGHT, BETHENNY FRANKEL." 1071 00:41:03,433 --> 00:41:04,767 - OH, YAY! 1072 00:41:04,767 --> 00:41:07,033 - I LOVE IT. - AWESOME. 1073 00:41:07,033 --> 00:41:08,600 - IT'S WILD TO SEE YOUR NAME UP IN LIGHTS 1074 00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:11,133 ON A MARQUEE AT A REAL THEATER. 1075 00:41:11,133 --> 00:41:12,567 IT ALL SEEMS LIKE A DREAM. 1076 00:41:12,567 --> 00:41:14,066 ALL RIGHT, GUYS, WE'LL BE BACK. 1077 00:41:14,066 --> 00:41:16,066 WE'RE GOIN' TO THE GIG. 1078 00:41:16,066 --> 00:41:18,500 - HI. HOW ARE YOU? 1079 00:41:18,500 --> 00:41:20,834 - GOOD. HOW YOU DOING? - GOOD. 1080 00:41:20,834 --> 00:41:22,767 WE'RE EXCITED TO BE HERE. 1081 00:41:22,767 --> 00:41:24,533 GOOD TO SEE YOU. - GOOD TO SEE YOU. 1082 00:41:24,533 --> 00:41:26,767 HI, BETHENNY. - HI, DAVID. 1083 00:41:26,767 --> 00:41:28,233 HOW ARE YOU? THIS IS BRIAN. 1084 00:41:28,233 --> 00:41:29,734 - HOW YOU DOING, BRIAN? NICE TO MEET YOU. 1085 00:41:29,734 --> 00:41:32,567 WHY DON'T WE GET YOU IN HERE SO WE CAN DO A SOUND CHECK. 1086 00:41:32,567 --> 00:41:34,300 - OKAY. AWESOME. AND EVERY SEAT IS FILLED? 1087 00:41:34,300 --> 00:41:36,066 - YEAH, WE'RE SOLD OUT TONIGHT. 1088 00:41:36,066 --> 00:41:37,600 - [laughing] OH, MY GOD! 1089 00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:39,400 - LIKE ALL THE WAY IN BACK THEY SOLD OUT? 1090 00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:41,600 - OH, YEAH. DONE. THERE'S NOT A SINGLE TICKET LEFT. 1091 00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:43,433 - WOW. - LIKE, THERE'S SOMEONE 1092 00:41:43,433 --> 00:41:45,200 SITTING IN THAT BACK RIGHT SEAT UP THERE? 1093 00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:46,667 - EVERY SINGLE SEAT. - OKAY. 1094 00:41:46,667 --> 00:41:48,200 [laughter] 1095 00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:51,467 WE SOLD OUT EVERY SINGLE SEAT. 1096 00:41:51,467 --> 00:41:53,900 PEOPLE WENT AND BOUGHT TICKETS 1097 00:41:53,900 --> 00:41:56,166 TO SIT IN ANY SEAT THEY COULD TO HEAR ME TALK... 1098 00:41:56,166 --> 00:41:58,934 WHICH IS JUST MIND-BLOWING. 1099 00:41:58,934 --> 00:42:00,467 REALLY, REALLY MIND-BLOWING. 1100 00:42:00,467 --> 00:42:01,934 - SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT TO JUST SO THEY CAN-- 1101 00:42:01,934 --> 00:42:05,433 - I WOULD LIKE TO THANK MY DOG COOKIE FOR... 1102 00:42:05,433 --> 00:42:08,467 LAYING IN BED WITH ME AND KEEPING ME WARM AT NIGHT. 1103 00:42:08,467 --> 00:42:11,300 I...WOULD LIKE TO THANK MY HUSBAND 1104 00:42:11,300 --> 00:42:14,066 FOR TOLERATING ME AND COMING ON THE TOUR BUS WITH ME. 1105 00:42:14,066 --> 00:42:16,300 ALSO, I'D LIKE TO THANK GOD. 1106 00:42:16,300 --> 00:42:17,567 - [laughs] THAT'S GREAT. 1107 00:42:17,567 --> 00:42:19,266 - [laughing] 1108 00:42:19,266 --> 00:42:20,834 - SO WE'RE GOOD? - WE'RE GOOD. 1109 00:42:20,834 --> 00:42:22,667 - EXCELLENT. WE'RE GONNA TAKE YOU INTO HAIR AND MAKEUP. 1110 00:42:22,667 --> 00:42:23,667 - OKAY. 1111 00:42:29,633 --> 00:42:31,133 THEY'RE TOGETHER, MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS 1112 00:42:31,133 --> 00:42:35,133 AND GIRLS' NIGHT OUT AND THEY'RE JUST SO PUMPED, 1113 00:42:35,133 --> 00:42:37,834 AND THEY'RE HAVING COCKTAILS AND IT'S JUST SO... 1114 00:42:37,834 --> 00:42:41,266 WOMEN POWER, SUCH FEMALE POWER. 1115 00:42:41,266 --> 00:42:42,934 IT'S AMAZING. - SO BETHENNY, 1116 00:42:42,934 --> 00:42:45,066 A COUPLE OF ANNOUNCEMENTS HAVE TO HAPPEN BEFORE THE SHOW 1117 00:42:45,066 --> 00:42:46,800 SO WHEN YOUR MUSIC STARTS PLAYING, 1118 00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:48,867 YOUR PRE-SHOW MUSIC, THEN I'LL COME GET YOU. 1119 00:42:48,867 --> 00:42:50,800 - OKAY. - ALL RIGHT, MAMA. 1120 00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:52,333 - ALL RIGHT, LOVE YOU. 1121 00:42:52,333 --> 00:42:54,100 - YOU'RE GONNA DO GREAT. - OKAY. 1122 00:42:54,100 --> 00:42:55,700 - BREAK A LEG. - OKAY. 1123 00:42:55,700 --> 00:42:57,033 - SEE YOU, GUYS. 1124 00:43:00,700 --> 00:43:02,667 - OH, MY GOD, DANCING IN THEIR SEATS. 1125 00:43:02,667 --> 00:43:03,800 STANDING UP. - REALLY? 1126 00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:06,467 IT'S EXCITING. YOU JUST GET A RUSH. 1127 00:43:06,467 --> 00:43:08,500 YOU GET BACK WHAT THE AUDIENCE GIVES YOU. 1128 00:43:08,500 --> 00:43:10,834 - BETHENNY FRANKEL! 1129 00:43:10,834 --> 00:43:15,300 [cheers and applause] 1130 00:43:15,300 --> 00:43:18,767 - NEXT TIME ON THE SEASON FINALE OF BETHENNY EVER AFTER... 1131 00:43:18,767 --> 00:43:20,667 - I THINK I WILL SHOCK YOU A LITTLE BIT TONIGHT. 1132 00:43:20,667 --> 00:43:23,934 IF I LOOSEN UP ANY MORE, I'LL BE DOING--SHOOTING PORN. 1133 00:43:23,934 --> 00:43:26,400 AND IT'S NOT EXACTLY G-RATED. 1134 00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:27,734 [cheers and applause] 1135 00:43:27,734 --> 00:43:29,867 MY IN-LAWS ARE HERE, SO I'M NOT GONNA SAY COCK. 1136 00:43:29,867 --> 00:43:31,600 BUT... 1137 00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:34,133 - YOU JOINED A VERY NUCLEAR FAMILY. 1138 00:43:34,133 --> 00:43:36,300 YOU KNOW, WHAT'S IT LIKE TO BE A PART OF THAT? 1139 00:43:36,300 --> 00:43:38,867 I'M HAVING A REAL STRUGGLE WITH MY IN-LAWS. 1140 00:43:38,867 --> 00:43:41,000 [laughter] 1141 00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:42,667 - OKAY. 1142 00:43:42,667 --> 00:43:44,767 THERE'S AN EMAIL. - WHAT DOES IT SAY? 1143 00:43:44,767 --> 00:43:46,900 - IT'S FROM JEFF. - ONE OF THE LARGEST 1144 00:43:46,900 --> 00:43:48,967 SPIRITS COMPANIES IN THE WORLD 1145 00:43:48,967 --> 00:43:50,600 WANTS TO BUY SKINNYGIRL COCKTAILS. 1146 00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:52,000 - THIS IS THE SUBJECT. - WHAT? 1147 00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:53,800 - FINAL OFFER. 1148 00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:55,667 - THIS IS THE CRAZIEST THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD 1149 00:43:55,667 --> 00:43:57,066 THAT'S EVER HAPPENED. 1150 00:43:57,066 --> 00:43:58,767 EVERY SINGLE THING ABOUT MY LIFE CHANGED. 1151 00:43:58,767 --> 00:44:00,333 I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. 1152 00:44:00,333 --> 00:44:02,100 NOTHING IS THE SAME. 1153 00:44:02,100 --> 00:44:04,800 - TO LEARN MORE ABOUT BETHENNY EVER AFTER, 1154 00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:06,000 GO TO BRAVOTV.COM.