1 00:00:09,721 --> 00:00:11,481 There's no way out of this. 2 00:00:11,561 --> 00:00:13,001 We're going to die here. 3 00:00:13,721 --> 00:00:15,241 Pass me the vibro-cutters. 4 00:00:15,361 --> 00:00:16,561 They're in my pocket. 5 00:00:16,801 --> 00:00:18,161 Come on, then, pass them to me. 6 00:00:18,241 --> 00:00:20,561 In my other jacket. At home. 7 00:00:20,641 --> 00:00:23,001 Why have you got have two jackets? Is one of them faulty? 8 00:00:23,081 --> 00:00:25,641 Look, I don't have the vibro-cutters. If I had the vibro-cutters, 9 00:00:25,681 --> 00:00:28,081 I wouldn't be able to pass you the vibro-cutters. 10 00:00:28,161 --> 00:00:29,801 We're going to starve to death out here. 11 00:00:30,041 --> 00:00:31,641 Of course we won't starve. 12 00:00:31,761 --> 00:00:34,561 The sand piranhas will get us long before that. 13 00:00:38,001 --> 00:00:39,521 Hiya. Sorry I'm late. 14 00:00:39,841 --> 00:00:42,241 You're not, but you are brown. You're very brown. 15 00:00:42,321 --> 00:00:43,761 You weren't that brown this morning. 16 00:00:43,841 --> 00:00:46,001 Sunbed. Phew! I'll get them in. Usual? 17 00:00:47,041 --> 00:00:48,361 Fish people. 18 00:00:48,441 --> 00:00:49,601 What are they like? 19 00:00:49,681 --> 00:00:52,401 Fish and people. Come and see. 20 00:00:54,521 --> 00:00:57,441 - How's you? - Evening. Nice frock. 21 00:00:57,521 --> 00:00:59,441 - It's a bit wet. - Freak shower. 22 00:01:02,081 --> 00:01:03,121 Was that seaweed? 23 00:01:03,681 --> 00:01:04,721 I said freak. 24 00:01:08,521 --> 00:01:09,601 How much further? 25 00:01:09,681 --> 00:01:11,521 The Tardis has got to be around this corner. 26 00:01:11,601 --> 00:01:12,601 "Oh! "Oh! 27 00:01:12,721 --> 00:01:14,601 I hate soldiers. Don't you hate soldiers? 28 00:01:14,681 --> 00:01:15,681 Yeah. 29 00:01:15,761 --> 00:01:16,881 - Just keep running! - Ooh! 30 00:01:19,161 --> 00:01:22,881 - Oh, yeah. Danny. Hiya. - Morning. Ready to run? 31 00:01:23,001 --> 00:01:24,041 Mmm-hmm. 32 00:01:28,921 --> 00:01:31,681 I can't keep doing this. I can't do it. 33 00:01:32,881 --> 00:01:36,321 Yes, I can. I can do it, of course I can do it. 34 00:01:38,401 --> 00:01:40,401 I've got it all under control. 35 00:01:41,561 --> 00:01:43,241 So, where are we off to? 36 00:01:43,841 --> 00:01:46,841 Clara. You look lovely today. Have you had a wash? 37 00:01:49,441 --> 00:01:51,881 - Why are you being nice? - Because it works on you. 38 00:01:51,961 --> 00:01:56,041 Listen, I'm sorry but there's going to be no trip today. 39 00:01:56,201 --> 00:01:58,921 I'm sorry. Er, I've got to do a thing. It might take a while. 40 00:01:59,361 --> 00:02:01,041 - What thing? - Just a thing. 41 00:02:01,401 --> 00:02:04,321 You're being mysterious and do you know what means? 42 00:02:04,561 --> 00:02:05,921 I'm a man of mystery. 43 00:02:06,081 --> 00:02:08,881 Hmm. It means that you are a very clever man 44 00:02:09,001 --> 00:02:11,241 making the mistake, common to very clever people, 45 00:02:11,321 --> 00:02:13,881 of assuming that everybody else is stupid. 46 00:02:13,961 --> 00:02:14,961 Where are you going? 47 00:02:15,121 --> 00:02:17,041 Undercover. Deep cover. 48 00:02:17,201 --> 00:02:18,561 - Can you do deep cover? - What do you mean? 49 00:02:18,641 --> 00:02:20,641 - Have you seen you? - Of course I can do deep cover! 50 00:02:20,721 --> 00:02:22,521 Where? The Magic Circle? 51 00:02:24,161 --> 00:02:26,601 - I'll see you when I see you. - When's that? 52 00:02:28,961 --> 00:02:30,201 When I see you. 53 00:02:31,961 --> 00:02:32,961 Hmm... 54 00:02:36,721 --> 00:02:37,721 Hmm... 55 00:02:38,961 --> 00:02:40,681 I'll be sure to have a wash. 56 00:02:40,841 --> 00:02:42,801 Excellent. I was meaning to bring it up. 57 00:03:00,001 --> 00:03:02,601 You lot! Not here. Over there. 58 00:03:05,441 --> 00:03:06,801 Morning, Mr Pink. 59 00:03:06,881 --> 00:03:10,041 Morning, Courtney. And good morning, Miss Oswald. 60 00:03:10,121 --> 00:03:11,761 Morning, Mr Pink. 61 00:03:16,401 --> 00:03:19,321 - Do they know? - Possibly. They're children. 62 00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:22,401 It's like they've got minds of their own. Are you okay? 63 00:03:22,481 --> 00:03:24,641 Yeah, of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be okay? 64 00:03:24,721 --> 00:03:26,601 I don't know. Every time I see you, it's like you're... 65 00:03:26,681 --> 00:03:27,721 What? 66 00:03:27,801 --> 00:03:29,881 In a rush. In a state. 67 00:03:29,961 --> 00:03:31,721 In a space helmet one time. 68 00:03:31,801 --> 00:03:34,281 Sorry, er, I've had a thing 69 00:03:34,361 --> 00:03:37,081 and, er, the thing's gone. So I'm all yours. 70 00:03:37,161 --> 00:03:39,001 - What thing? What's gone? - Nothing. 71 00:03:39,081 --> 00:03:41,241 It's like you're trying to be mysterious. 72 00:03:42,001 --> 00:03:43,281 I'm not stupid, you know. 73 00:03:44,241 --> 00:03:47,281 The next few days are all about you. 74 00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:48,761 I promise. 75 00:03:52,001 --> 00:03:56,081 Which means, Jo, you'll have to cover for 8-4M in L3. 76 00:03:56,521 --> 00:03:58,761 Hold on, there is just one more thing. 77 00:03:58,841 --> 00:04:01,241 Atif's off sick, so we've got a newbie. 78 00:04:01,321 --> 00:04:02,361 I did ask him to come along. 79 00:04:02,441 --> 00:04:04,441 ...Ah, here he is. 80 00:04:06,441 --> 00:04:07,441 Do come in. 81 00:04:09,201 --> 00:04:12,041 I'm the new caretaker. John Smith. 82 00:04:12,561 --> 00:04:14,361 Welcome to Coal Hill, Mr Smith. 83 00:04:14,441 --> 00:04:17,201 Thanks. Yes, John Smith's the name. 84 00:04:17,281 --> 00:04:21,161 But you know, here's the thing. Most people just call me the Doctor. 85 00:05:01,121 --> 00:05:04,041 So if anybody needs me, just, you know, give me a shout. 86 00:05:04,121 --> 00:05:07,161 I'll be in the storeroom just getting the lie of the land. 87 00:05:07,241 --> 00:05:10,281 Yes, nobody's taking any notice at all. 88 00:05:10,401 --> 00:05:12,801 Absolutely good news, because 89 00:05:12,881 --> 00:05:15,601 it means that I must be coming across just as an absolutely 90 00:05:15,681 --> 00:05:18,241 - boring human being like you. 91 00:05:18,881 --> 00:05:20,881 Deep cover. Deep cover. 92 00:05:23,121 --> 00:05:25,001 - Do you know him? - Know who? 93 00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:28,401 - The caretaker, Smith. The Doctor. - Never seen him before in my life. 94 00:05:28,481 --> 00:05:31,281 Bit intense-looking. Did you see those eyebrows? 95 00:05:31,401 --> 00:05:32,401 Did he wink at you? 96 00:05:32,481 --> 00:05:34,481 No, I think that was just sort of like a general wink. 97 00:05:34,561 --> 00:05:36,841 You know, he winked at everybody. It was a general welcoming wink. 98 00:05:36,921 --> 00:05:39,601 Ah! I have, erm, left some marking. 99 00:05:39,681 --> 00:05:42,721 Assembly. Chop-chop. Off you pop. Catch you in a bit. Excuse me. 100 00:05:48,121 --> 00:05:50,481 - So, you recognised me, then. - You're wearing a different coat. 101 00:05:50,561 --> 00:05:54,281 - You saw straight through that. - Deep cover in my school? Why? 102 00:05:54,361 --> 00:05:56,161 Where's Atif? What have you done with him? 103 00:05:56,241 --> 00:05:58,681 He's fine, hypnotised, he thinks he's got the flu. 104 00:05:58,761 --> 00:06:01,801 Also, a flying car and three wives. It's going to be a rude awakening. 105 00:06:01,881 --> 00:06:03,201 Is it aliens? 106 00:06:03,601 --> 00:06:06,241 Oh, my God, is that why you're here? Are there aliens? 107 00:06:06,321 --> 00:06:08,521 It's assembly, you better get going. Go and worship something. 108 00:06:08,601 --> 00:06:10,441 Are the aliens in this school? 109 00:06:10,521 --> 00:06:13,361 Listen, it's lovely talking to you, but I've really got to get on. 110 00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:14,881 I'm a caretaker now. Look, I've got a brush. 111 00:06:14,961 --> 00:06:16,881 Doctor, is there an alien in this school? 112 00:06:16,961 --> 00:06:19,321 Yes, me. Now, go. 113 00:06:19,561 --> 00:06:21,961 The walls need sponging and there's a sinister puddle. 114 00:06:22,041 --> 00:06:23,121 You can't do this. 115 00:06:23,521 --> 00:06:27,161 You cannot pass yourself off as a real person among actual people. 116 00:06:27,241 --> 00:06:29,041 I lived among otters once for a month. 117 00:06:29,121 --> 00:06:31,841 Well, I sulked. River and I, we had this big fight... 118 00:06:31,921 --> 00:06:35,921 - Human beings are not otters! - Exactly, it'll be even easier. 119 00:06:37,041 --> 00:06:41,801 Okay. One question. And you will answer this question. 120 00:06:44,041 --> 00:06:45,081 Are the kids safe? 121 00:06:45,521 --> 00:06:47,721 No. Nobody is safe. 122 00:06:48,121 --> 00:06:51,441 But soon the answer will be yes, everybody is safe, 123 00:06:51,561 --> 00:06:54,481 if you let me get on now. 124 00:06:55,361 --> 00:06:58,481 Pretend you don't know me. Stay out of my way. 125 00:06:58,561 --> 00:07:01,441 The less you know, the better. I'll explain it all later. 126 00:07:01,521 --> 00:07:03,361 - Go and sing with the otters. - I hate you. 127 00:07:03,441 --> 00:07:05,601 That's fine, that's a perfectly normal reaction. 128 00:07:11,481 --> 00:07:13,441 Basically, you've to get that guy on the block 129 00:07:13,521 --> 00:07:15,681 and stop the other one from shooting him. It's so sick. 130 00:07:15,761 --> 00:07:18,321 I, I got that guy. That was, like, six months ago. 131 00:07:18,401 --> 00:07:20,081 What you actually have to do is flick it that way. 132 00:07:20,161 --> 00:07:21,281 No, but I'm saying... 133 00:07:21,361 --> 00:07:22,921 You Coal Hill kids? 134 00:07:23,881 --> 00:07:26,681 - Yeah, so what if we are? - Then get to Coal Hill. 135 00:07:27,521 --> 00:07:29,281 We've got a free period, mate. 136 00:07:29,441 --> 00:07:31,041 You want me to take your names? 137 00:07:31,841 --> 00:07:32,881 Come on. 138 00:07:34,921 --> 00:07:36,161 This is unfair, mate. 139 00:07:40,041 --> 00:07:41,961 Always come in threes. 140 00:07:44,081 --> 00:07:46,041 Oi! I know you're in there. 141 00:07:57,361 --> 00:08:00,641 Hello? I'm a police officer. 142 00:08:06,521 --> 00:08:08,481 There's no point hiding. 143 00:08:11,281 --> 00:08:12,481 Do you hear me? 144 00:08:13,801 --> 00:08:15,401 Come on, kiddo. 145 00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:19,801 Five. Stop intruder. Five. Stop intruder. 146 00:08:20,201 --> 00:08:22,721 Turn your game off, it's time for school. 147 00:08:22,801 --> 00:08:25,761 Come on! Stop messing about! 148 00:08:27,321 --> 00:08:30,641 Problem. Solution." destroy. 149 00:08:40,961 --> 00:08:45,121 :..though unheard by Lydia, was caught by Elizabeth 150 00:08:45,201 --> 00:08:48,161 "and as it assured her that Darcy was not less..." 151 00:08:51,081 --> 00:08:54,481 - You all right, Miss Oswald? - Yes, Kelvin, I'm fine, you carry on. 152 00:08:55,721 --> 00:08:57,801 Um, "every feeling of displeasure 153 00:08:57,881 --> 00:08:59,961 "against the former was so sharpened..." 154 00:09:00,041 --> 00:09:02,401 Can I help you, Mr Smith? 155 00:09:02,921 --> 00:09:05,281 - Wrong. - I'm sorry? 156 00:09:05,561 --> 00:09:09,481 On the board. Wrong. Wrong. 157 00:09:09,561 --> 00:09:12,401 Oh, no, no, no. No. You don't do this. 158 00:09:12,481 --> 00:09:14,881 You are the caretaker, this is not what you do. 159 00:09:14,961 --> 00:09:16,601 - Just taking care. - Not your area! 160 00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:20,121 Jane Austen wrote Pride and Prejudice in 1796. 161 00:09:20,201 --> 00:09:24,041 This is Mr Smith, the temporary caretaker, 162 00:09:24,121 --> 00:09:25,121 and he's a bit confused. 163 00:09:25,201 --> 00:09:29,401 Not in 1797, because she didn't have the time. She was so busy... 164 00:09:29,481 --> 00:09:31,881 Oh, what, and I suppose she was your bezzie mate, was she? 165 00:09:31,961 --> 00:09:33,121 And you went on holidays together 166 00:09:33,201 --> 00:09:35,481 and then you got kidnapped by Boggans from space 167 00:09:35,561 --> 00:09:38,441 and then you all formed a band and met Buddy Holly. 168 00:09:39,561 --> 00:09:42,161 No, I read the book. There's a bio at the back. 169 00:09:42,281 --> 00:09:44,041 Get down. 170 00:09:45,161 --> 00:09:46,601 - Boggans? - Go! 171 00:09:51,241 --> 00:09:54,401 Right, that's it. Uh, well done, Kelvin. Get going. 172 00:09:54,481 --> 00:09:56,601 See you all in a couple of days. Thanks very much. 173 00:09:56,681 --> 00:09:59,001 Miss, what about our homework? 174 00:09:59,121 --> 00:10:01,441 Who asks for homework? Amateur. 175 00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:11,161 - Miss Oswald... - Oh, hello, Tobias, can't really stop. 176 00:10:11,241 --> 00:10:14,121 I'm on the school football team against Durante on Thursday. 177 00:10:14,201 --> 00:10:17,241 Sorry, but can I go early from English Thursday afternoon? 178 00:10:17,321 --> 00:10:19,001 Tobias, you can do whatever you want. 179 00:10:19,081 --> 00:10:21,921 - Ah, Clara, can I have a quick word? - Actually, I, erm... 180 00:10:22,001 --> 00:10:25,241 Two weeks Saturday, the fete, can I put you down for the tombola 181 00:10:25,321 --> 00:10:27,481 and the raffle? James H can't cover it now. 182 00:10:27,561 --> 00:10:30,281 His wife's going into hospital. Hip replacement. Constant agony. 183 00:10:30,361 --> 00:10:31,401 Great! 184 00:10:31,801 --> 00:10:35,001 No, awful. That's terrible. Awful. I hope she'll be okay. 185 00:10:35,081 --> 00:10:37,521 Um, I'll do anything. Anything. Okay. Bye. 186 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:44,521 Miss Oswald, Katie Sharp says I pulled her hair in Biology. 187 00:10:44,601 --> 00:10:46,281 Courtney, you are big enough to look after yourself. 188 00:10:46,361 --> 00:10:48,561 Next class, jog on, I need to talk to Mr Pink. 189 00:10:48,641 --> 00:10:49,841 Ozzie loves the Squaddie. 190 00:10:49,921 --> 00:10:51,441 - What was that? - Nothing. 191 00:10:51,521 --> 00:10:53,401 Of course, Danny Pink is your man, Mr Smith. 192 00:10:53,481 --> 00:10:56,281 Five years' military experience, sergeant, here and Afghan, 193 00:10:56,361 --> 00:10:59,641 so electrics, boilers, if you need a hand, give him a shout. 194 00:10:59,721 --> 00:11:02,121 I, I've helped Atif with a couple of things. 195 00:11:02,201 --> 00:11:04,921 I'm sure I won't needing you, Sergeant. Fully qualified. 196 00:11:07,561 --> 00:11:10,721 - You best get back to your PE class. - Uh, I teach maths. 197 00:11:10,801 --> 00:11:13,441 - Do you? What, in emergencies? - No, I'm a maths teacher. 198 00:11:13,521 --> 00:11:14,961 Yeah, he's a maths teacher... 199 00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:16,641 Mohammed, put that down! 200 00:11:16,761 --> 00:11:18,841 How does that work? What if the kids have questions? 201 00:11:18,921 --> 00:11:20,201 - About what? - Maths. 202 00:11:20,281 --> 00:11:21,961 I answer them. I'm a maths teacher. 203 00:11:22,041 --> 00:11:23,521 But he said you were a soldier. 204 00:11:23,921 --> 00:11:26,001 Yeah. I was a soldier. Now I'm a maths teacher. 205 00:11:26,081 --> 00:11:27,721 But what about all the PE? 206 00:11:28,001 --> 00:11:30,041 I don't teach PE. I'm not a PE teacher. 207 00:11:30,841 --> 00:11:32,641 Sorry, that seems very unlikely. 208 00:11:32,721 --> 00:11:35,641 Er... Excuse me, Mr Pink, 209 00:11:35,721 --> 00:11:37,401 I think Maths 9-M4 are waiting. 210 00:11:37,481 --> 00:11:39,201 Yes, you'd better run along, Sergeant. 211 00:11:39,281 --> 00:11:41,201 That ball isn't going to kick itself, is it? 212 00:11:41,281 --> 00:11:43,561 I'm not a PE teacher, I'm a maths teacher. 213 00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:47,961 Nope, sorry. No, I can't retain that. 214 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,961 I've tried, it's just not going in. 215 00:11:57,521 --> 00:12:00,441 So... Pink. The name remind you of anything? 216 00:12:00,521 --> 00:12:02,441 Yeah. The colour. 217 00:12:03,521 --> 00:12:04,761 Colonel Orson Pink? 218 00:12:04,841 --> 00:12:06,841 The guy we met at the end of the universe. 219 00:12:07,081 --> 00:12:10,441 Oh, yeah. Okay, yeah, same name, doesn't look anything like him, though. 220 00:12:10,721 --> 00:12:12,081 Looks very like him. 221 00:12:12,201 --> 00:12:14,721 Does he? I don't know. Who remembers a PE teacher? 222 00:12:14,801 --> 00:12:15,801 Oh, never mind. 223 00:12:17,201 --> 00:12:19,201 What are you doing? What's in there? 224 00:12:19,441 --> 00:12:22,001 So... Is he here, then? 225 00:12:22,081 --> 00:12:23,081 Is who here? 226 00:12:23,641 --> 00:12:25,961 The one you keep going on serious dates with. 227 00:12:26,041 --> 00:12:28,921 If he is, are you going to start talking like a normal human being? 228 00:12:29,001 --> 00:12:31,441 - I promise I won't. I'm being nice. - Doctor... 229 00:12:31,521 --> 00:12:34,281 - Clara. Got this period free, yes? - No. Yes. 230 00:12:34,361 --> 00:12:36,961 - Great. Shakespeare. - Sorry, what, Adrian? 231 00:12:38,441 --> 00:12:40,801 Oh... I see. 232 00:12:42,801 --> 00:12:45,761 - You see what? - Nothing. Nothing at all. 233 00:12:46,201 --> 00:12:48,441 Excuse me. We have to talk about The Tempest, 234 00:12:48,521 --> 00:12:51,561 in light of the changes to the Sixth Form Shakespeare module blah-di-blah. 235 00:12:51,641 --> 00:12:53,601 Yes. Sorry, of course. 236 00:12:54,921 --> 00:12:57,681 Yes, yes, no, of course, of course, yes. 237 00:12:57,761 --> 00:13:02,081 Don't mind this old man. You two kids just pop off together. 238 00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:04,121 Why are you talking like an idiot? 239 00:13:04,201 --> 00:13:06,801 I'm a caretaker, don't mind me. 240 00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:10,281 What we have to get across, I feel, 241 00:13:10,361 --> 00:13:15,321 is that fascinating enigma of its... not-finishedness. 242 00:13:15,401 --> 00:13:17,041 Mmm, yes, good point, Ade. 243 00:13:20,241 --> 00:13:21,921 Oh, Clara. 244 00:13:35,241 --> 00:13:40,041 What does that mean? Kids. What's the matter with kids today? 245 00:13:50,721 --> 00:13:52,161 Hey, I said you could play chess, 246 00:13:52,241 --> 00:13:54,601 I did not say you could play football on the chessboard. 247 00:13:54,681 --> 00:13:57,241 Jack, Morgan, come on, help me out, clear it up. 248 00:14:08,201 --> 00:14:10,081 And one for luck. 249 00:14:13,721 --> 00:14:15,961 Okay. Now we're in business. 250 00:14:16,161 --> 00:14:20,001 Let's see the lie of the land. Time to see what's going on. 251 00:14:24,281 --> 00:14:25,321 Hello? 252 00:14:26,561 --> 00:14:27,721 Oi. 253 00:14:29,121 --> 00:14:31,481 What are you doing? Are you in there? 254 00:14:31,681 --> 00:14:33,441 Mirror, mirror on the wall, 255 00:14:33,521 --> 00:14:36,361 who's the most dangerous of them all? 256 00:14:36,561 --> 00:14:40,121 There's been a spillage in Geography, I need some paper towels. 257 00:14:40,961 --> 00:14:43,321 - Can't you read? - Course I can read. Read what? 258 00:14:43,401 --> 00:14:45,921 The door. It says, "Keep Out." 259 00:14:46,001 --> 00:14:47,961 No, it says, "Go Away Humans." 260 00:14:48,841 --> 00:14:50,001 Oh, so it does. 261 00:14:50,081 --> 00:14:52,121 Never lose your temper in the middle of a door sign. 262 00:14:52,201 --> 00:14:54,841 What was you doing in there? What's that box? 263 00:14:54,921 --> 00:14:58,801 A caretakers box. Every caretaker has their own box. 264 00:14:58,961 --> 00:15:00,241 It says, "Police." 265 00:15:00,321 --> 00:15:03,161 Exactly. There's a policeman in there, in case of emergencies 266 00:15:03,241 --> 00:15:04,241 and children. 267 00:15:04,321 --> 00:15:06,801 - Towels, there, g-g-go. - What was that green glow? 268 00:15:06,881 --> 00:15:08,721 There was a green glow coming from in there. 269 00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:11,121 - What was it? - Of course there was. 270 00:15:11,201 --> 00:15:13,361 - What's a policeman without a death ray? 271 00:15:13,801 --> 00:15:15,561 Oh, listen, there's the bell, off you go. 272 00:15:15,641 --> 00:15:17,081 Haven't you got shoplifting to go to? 273 00:15:17,121 --> 00:15:18,521 I'm going to tell the Headmaster. 274 00:15:18,601 --> 00:15:20,641 Oh, yes, fine. Well, cut along, you're running out of time. 275 00:15:20,721 --> 00:15:22,441 - For what? - Everything. 276 00:15:22,681 --> 00:15:24,921 Human beings have incredibly short lifespans. 277 00:15:25,001 --> 00:15:27,681 Frankly, you should all be in a permanent state of panic. 278 00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:30,761 - Tick tock, tick tock. - You're weird. 279 00:15:30,841 --> 00:15:32,601 Yes, I am. What about you? 280 00:15:32,681 --> 00:15:34,721 I'm a disruptive influence. 281 00:15:35,801 --> 00:15:38,201 - Good to meet you. - And you! 282 00:15:38,281 --> 00:15:40,321 - Now, get lost. - Okay. 283 00:15:42,401 --> 00:15:45,001 Hello, miss, love to the Squaddie. 284 00:15:45,121 --> 00:15:46,641 Sorry, what did you say? 285 00:15:48,521 --> 00:15:49,721 What was she doing here? 286 00:15:49,801 --> 00:15:53,481 Paper towels. Now, I imagine you have many questions. 287 00:15:53,561 --> 00:15:55,601 Fire away, I won't answer any of them. 288 00:15:55,681 --> 00:15:57,481 - What were they like? - What were who like? 289 00:15:57,561 --> 00:15:58,561 The others before me. 290 00:15:58,641 --> 00:16:00,601 Did they let you get away with this kind of thing? 291 00:16:01,201 --> 00:16:04,041 - This school is in danger. - Well, it's lucky I'm here, then. 292 00:16:04,121 --> 00:16:06,001 - From you. - Me? 293 00:16:06,081 --> 00:16:08,161 You wouldn't be here if there wasn't an alien threat nearby. 294 00:16:08,241 --> 00:16:10,521 Your strategy for dealing with it involves endangering this school. 295 00:16:10,601 --> 00:16:11,601 You don't know that. 296 00:16:11,681 --> 00:16:13,361 I don't know anything because you haven't told me anything, 297 00:16:13,441 --> 00:16:14,561 which means I wouldn't approve, which means 298 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:16,121 you are endangering the school. 299 00:16:21,721 --> 00:16:22,881 What's that? 300 00:16:22,961 --> 00:16:25,681 It's a scanner. I'm scanning. Why do I keep you around? 301 00:16:25,761 --> 00:16:28,041 Because the alternative would be developing a conscience of your own. 302 00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:29,121 Scanning for what? 303 00:16:29,681 --> 00:16:32,161 Any alien technology in this vicinity should show up. 304 00:16:32,281 --> 00:16:34,961 I used to have a teacher exactly like you. 305 00:16:35,041 --> 00:16:36,761 You still do. Pay attention. 306 00:16:38,801 --> 00:16:40,161 What the hell is it? 307 00:16:40,841 --> 00:16:42,761 A Skovox Blitzer, 308 00:16:43,161 --> 00:16:46,241 one of the deadliest killing machines ever created. 309 00:16:46,321 --> 00:16:48,481 Probably homed in here because of artron emissions. 310 00:16:48,561 --> 00:16:50,841 You've had enough of them in this area over the years. 311 00:16:50,921 --> 00:16:54,881 There's enough explosive in its armoury to take out the whole planet. 312 00:16:55,721 --> 00:16:57,601 Then leave it alone. 313 00:16:57,721 --> 00:17:00,841 Sooner or later, it will creep from its hidey-hole 314 00:17:00,961 --> 00:17:03,841 and some military idiot will try to attack it. 315 00:17:05,401 --> 00:17:07,441 The world is full of PE teachers. 316 00:17:10,361 --> 00:17:14,841 So, your insanely dangerous plan is? 317 00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:18,201 A new watch. Tiny bit disappointed. 318 00:17:18,281 --> 00:17:20,081 This is a very special watch. 319 00:17:20,161 --> 00:17:21,161 Mmm. 320 00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:27,961 Doctor? 321 00:17:29,561 --> 00:17:30,681 Oi! Ow! 322 00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,881 Did you just flick my nose? 323 00:17:35,921 --> 00:17:37,841 You're invisible. 324 00:17:37,921 --> 00:17:39,281 Oh, my God, that's incredible! 325 00:17:39,361 --> 00:17:42,041 Correct. I am invisible and I am incredible. 326 00:17:42,121 --> 00:17:44,561 It's simply a matter of reversing light waves. Hang on, I'm coming back. 327 00:17:44,641 --> 00:17:45,641 All right, where are you? 328 00:17:45,721 --> 00:17:47,121 Ooh! 329 00:17:47,201 --> 00:17:50,601 So, I give the Blitzer a tiny whiff of non-threatening alien tech, 330 00:17:50,681 --> 00:17:53,481 I lead it back here, but I don't want it to scan me, hence invisible. 331 00:17:53,561 --> 00:17:57,121 So, you're, you're leading the thing here? To a school? My, my school? 332 00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:59,161 "My school"? Oh, that is telling. 333 00:17:59,241 --> 00:18:01,241 This is the only suitably empty place in the area. 334 00:18:01,321 --> 00:18:04,481 I've set up a circle of time mines around the school. 335 00:18:04,561 --> 00:18:06,961 - Chronodyne generators. - Ooh. 336 00:18:07,041 --> 00:18:08,041 Bit unstable. 337 00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:11,721 I switch them on, the Blitzer gets sucked into a big old time vortex, 338 00:18:11,801 --> 00:18:14,441 billions of years into the future. It's dead easy. Tiny bit boring. 339 00:18:14,521 --> 00:18:16,881 - I'll need a book and a sandwich. - And me. You're not doing this alone. 340 00:18:16,961 --> 00:18:20,561 I don't need you this time. I'll see you tomorrow. 341 00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:24,961 We'll go somewhere nice. Ancient Egypt. Crocodilopolis. 342 00:18:25,041 --> 00:18:28,161 They worship a big crocodile there, so the name is a useful coincidence. 343 00:18:28,521 --> 00:18:30,361 Go and canoodle with your boyfriend. 344 00:18:35,241 --> 00:18:39,241 Come on. I wasn't born yesterday, far from it. 345 00:18:39,361 --> 00:18:40,521 You did recognise him. 346 00:18:40,601 --> 00:18:44,241 Possibly reminded me of a certain dashing young time traveller. 347 00:18:44,321 --> 00:18:46,921 Oh, of course you recognised him. 348 00:18:47,081 --> 00:18:51,561 Sorry. Stupid. I... I underestimated you. 349 00:18:51,641 --> 00:18:53,361 It's easily done, there's a lot to estimate. 350 00:18:53,401 --> 00:18:55,161 And you, you like him? 351 00:18:55,481 --> 00:18:59,281 Yes, I like him. Very, very much. 352 00:18:59,841 --> 00:19:02,281 Go home and canoodle. Doctor's orders. Come on. 353 00:19:03,561 --> 00:19:05,921 Just this once, I'm doing what I'm told. 354 00:19:06,001 --> 00:19:07,641 ...Oh, sing hosanna. 355 00:19:08,121 --> 00:19:10,161 So easy. 356 00:19:20,761 --> 00:19:22,041 Miss Oswald. 357 00:19:22,121 --> 00:19:25,081 - Ah, Mr... Mr Pink. - Are you still on for tonight? 358 00:19:25,161 --> 00:19:28,241 'Cause you had your "I'm about to cancel" frown on. 359 00:19:28,681 --> 00:19:29,921 There's a specific frown? 360 00:19:30,001 --> 00:19:33,321 And I was going to say, it's okay, I might have a thing, so... 361 00:19:33,441 --> 00:19:34,441 A. a thing? 362 00:19:36,001 --> 00:19:37,001 Uh... 363 00:19:37,281 --> 00:19:40,601 - Tomorrow instead? - Uh, tomorrow's parents' evening. 364 00:19:41,201 --> 00:19:42,721 Not all evening. 365 00:19:43,201 --> 00:19:45,041 No. Not all evening. 366 00:19:47,121 --> 00:19:48,761 What do you think of him? 367 00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:51,481 Uh, who? The, the caretaker? 368 00:19:51,561 --> 00:19:53,441 Where did he come from? What was he before? 369 00:19:54,481 --> 00:19:56,361 He doesn't seem like a caretaker. 370 00:19:56,561 --> 00:19:58,601 Well, he speaks very highly of you. 371 00:20:03,521 --> 00:20:06,641 Anyway, um, goodnight, Miss Oswald. 372 00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:10,681 Goodnight, Mr Pink. 373 00:20:19,961 --> 00:20:21,041 And we're off. 374 00:20:50,361 --> 00:20:51,761 Home sweet home. 375 00:20:55,281 --> 00:20:57,441 Canoodling cancelled, if you need a hand... 376 00:21:00,561 --> 00:21:02,041 Doctor? 377 00:21:02,841 --> 00:21:04,241 You invisible? 378 00:21:05,641 --> 00:21:08,361 I am so going to confiscate that watch. 379 00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:12,001 Where are you, my sleeping beauty? 380 00:21:20,281 --> 00:21:22,161 Gotcha! Let's dance! 381 00:21:24,081 --> 00:21:25,521 Doctor? 382 00:21:26,841 --> 00:21:28,041 Where are you? 383 00:21:30,961 --> 00:21:31,961 Hello? 384 00:21:39,401 --> 00:21:41,801 Nine. Stop query. Rescan. 385 00:21:41,881 --> 00:21:45,201 Target reacquired. Success. Success. 386 00:21:45,841 --> 00:21:47,561 Come on, come on, come on. 387 00:21:47,921 --> 00:21:49,401 ...Gangway! 388 00:21:52,601 --> 00:21:54,721 Not far now. Come on. 389 00:21:55,681 --> 00:21:58,401 Nine. Stop parsing data. Pursue. 390 00:21:58,481 --> 00:21:59,481 Bingo. 391 00:22:02,561 --> 00:22:04,201 Target reacquired. 392 00:22:06,241 --> 00:22:07,281 Hello? 393 00:22:13,321 --> 00:22:18,121 What? Red, red, red. No. No, no, no! 394 00:22:18,361 --> 00:22:22,561 Range, 7.49. Scan complete. Problem. Problem. 395 00:22:22,681 --> 00:22:27,321 Listen. I'm unarmed. I'm peaceful. Do you understand? 396 00:22:27,961 --> 00:22:30,241 I know that you shouldn't be on this planet 397 00:22:30,321 --> 00:22:31,561 but I can help you with that. I... 398 00:22:31,641 --> 00:22:33,841 Problem. Solution." destroy. 399 00:22:33,921 --> 00:22:35,001 I want a word with you. 400 00:22:35,201 --> 00:22:37,521 - Get back! - Problem. Solution." destroy. 401 00:22:41,081 --> 00:22:42,801 Go. Get away from me! 402 00:22:47,521 --> 00:22:49,321 Temporal disrupt. 403 00:22:50,561 --> 00:22:53,441 Warning. Warning. Temporal failure. 404 00:22:53,761 --> 00:22:56,361 No, no, no, no. Doctor, stop! 405 00:22:57,561 --> 00:22:58,841 Doctor! 406 00:22:58,921 --> 00:23:02,081 Warning, system failure. Abort. Abort. 407 00:23:12,561 --> 00:23:17,601 Oh! Oh, well done, PE. Brilliant work! 408 00:23:19,041 --> 00:23:21,841 "What's this? A chronodyne generator? 409 00:23:21,921 --> 00:23:23,881 "I'll just deactivate that, shall I? 410 00:23:23,961 --> 00:23:26,681 "I've got a swimming certificate, so that qualifies me 411 00:23:26,761 --> 00:23:28,161 "to meddle with higher technology. 412 00:23:28,241 --> 00:23:31,401 "Never mind that some people are actually trying to save the planet. 413 00:23:31,521 --> 00:23:35,641 "Oh, no. There's only room in my head for cross-country and the offside rule." 414 00:23:36,281 --> 00:23:38,841 - Danny, what are you doing here? - I was checking up on him. 415 00:23:38,961 --> 00:23:41,801 He's been up to something, fiddling with the electric, but what the... 416 00:23:44,121 --> 00:23:45,201 No. 417 00:23:45,761 --> 00:23:46,761 What... 418 00:23:47,841 --> 00:23:49,921 Did you see that thing? Tell me you saw that thing. 419 00:23:50,001 --> 00:23:52,721 I saw the thing, yeah. Doctor, are we safe, is the planet safe? 420 00:23:52,801 --> 00:23:53,801 IT'S gone? 421 00:23:53,921 --> 00:23:56,521 Yes, yes, yes, yes, for the moment. But the thing is, you see, 422 00:23:56,601 --> 00:23:59,361 the chronodyne generators have to be precisely aligned 423 00:23:59,441 --> 00:24:00,721 to generate the vortex, 424 00:24:00,801 --> 00:24:02,641 but the sergeant here, he went and moved one. 425 00:24:02,721 --> 00:24:04,841 Okay, but the chronodyne worked, it's gone. 426 00:24:07,201 --> 00:24:08,441 But not far enough. 427 00:24:09,041 --> 00:24:12,881 The vortex will open here again, but not in a billion years. 428 00:24:12,961 --> 00:24:14,121 Then when? 429 00:24:14,201 --> 00:24:16,601 Er, 74 hours. Three days. 430 00:24:16,681 --> 00:24:21,521 Three days to think of something new because now it knows what to expect. 431 00:24:21,601 --> 00:24:26,201 Now it has scanned me and it will kill me on sight, 432 00:24:26,281 --> 00:24:27,881 thanks to PE here. 433 00:24:29,841 --> 00:24:31,721 Clara, why are you talking to him like that? 434 00:24:34,161 --> 00:24:37,481 Why are you using words like "chronodyne"? 435 00:24:38,161 --> 00:24:40,041 Was that thing a space thing? 436 00:24:44,401 --> 00:24:46,601 Oh, my God, you're from space. 437 00:24:50,681 --> 00:24:53,201 You're a spacewoman. You said you were from Blackpool. 438 00:24:55,961 --> 00:24:59,241 It's a play! For the summer fete. 439 00:24:59,321 --> 00:25:01,001 - It's a what? - Yes, it's a play. 440 00:25:01,081 --> 00:25:02,841 Shut up, it is a play. 441 00:25:02,921 --> 00:25:06,801 We are rehearsing a play. A surprise play! 442 00:25:06,881 --> 00:25:10,401 And, erm, you see, the vortex thing is, is a lighting effect. 443 00:25:10,481 --> 00:25:11,481 Very clever. 444 00:25:11,561 --> 00:25:16,041 And that thing is one of the kids. In fancy dress. 445 00:25:16,121 --> 00:25:17,761 Really. 446 00:25:18,361 --> 00:25:20,881 Really, really good fancy dress. 447 00:25:20,961 --> 00:25:22,241 How stupid do you think I am? 448 00:25:22,321 --> 00:25:23,921 I'm willing to put a number on it. 449 00:25:24,321 --> 00:25:26,241 I'm not a moron, Clara. 450 00:25:27,081 --> 00:25:29,041 And he's not the caretaker. 451 00:25:30,841 --> 00:25:33,841 He's... your dad. 452 00:25:34,281 --> 00:25:36,041 Your space dad. 453 00:25:36,601 --> 00:25:39,681 Oh, genius. 454 00:25:39,881 --> 00:25:43,681 That is... That is really, really brilliant reasoning. 455 00:25:43,801 --> 00:25:45,161 How can you think that I'm her dad 456 00:25:45,241 --> 00:25:46,961 when we both look exactly the same age? 457 00:25:47,041 --> 00:25:48,841 - We do not look the same age. - I was being kind. 458 00:25:48,921 --> 00:25:50,161 Right, I'm going to hypnotise him, 459 00:25:50,241 --> 00:25:51,441 - I'm going to erase his memory. - Doctor, stop! 460 00:25:51,521 --> 00:25:52,801 Tiny little brain, will only take a moment. 461 00:25:52,881 --> 00:25:53,881 He's my boyfriend. 462 00:25:53,961 --> 00:25:56,641 Well, I'll try not to erase the whole thing. I'll leave the bits that... 463 00:25:56,721 --> 00:25:59,881 He's my boyfriend. I thought you'd figured this out. 464 00:26:00,721 --> 00:26:01,841 - Him? - Yes, him. 465 00:26:01,921 --> 00:26:03,641 - No, he's not. - Yes, he is. 466 00:26:04,241 --> 00:26:06,161 - Yes, I am. - But he's a PE teacher. 467 00:26:06,241 --> 00:26:07,881 You wouldn't go out with a PE teacher. 468 00:26:08,441 --> 00:26:10,481 It's a mistake. You've made a boyfriend error. 469 00:26:10,561 --> 00:26:13,121 I am not a PE teacher. I am a maths teacher! 470 00:26:13,201 --> 00:26:15,081 You're a soldier. Why would you go out with a soldier? 471 00:26:15,161 --> 00:26:18,161 - Why not get a dog or a big plant? - Because I love him! 472 00:26:26,441 --> 00:26:29,401 Why would you say that? Is this part of the surprise play? 473 00:26:29,601 --> 00:26:31,801 There is no surprise play. 474 00:26:32,161 --> 00:26:35,081 Oh, it's a roller coaster with you tonight, isn't it? 475 00:26:35,161 --> 00:26:37,041 What about the handsome one, the one with the bow tie? 476 00:26:37,121 --> 00:26:39,681 Who? Adrian? No, no, no. He's just a friend and not my type. 477 00:26:39,761 --> 00:26:41,961 Clara, are you going to explain any of this? 478 00:26:42,521 --> 00:26:43,881 Who is this guy? 479 00:26:46,601 --> 00:26:48,561 The Doctor is... 480 00:26:51,081 --> 00:26:53,641 - Go on. - Yes, explain. 481 00:26:54,201 --> 00:26:56,081 Who is he? Why have you never mentioned him? 482 00:26:56,161 --> 00:26:59,641 Because... he's an alien. 483 00:27:02,801 --> 00:27:05,601 - Are you an alien? - No, no, no. I'm still from Blackpool. 484 00:27:07,401 --> 00:27:10,441 Me and the Doctor, we travel through time and space. 485 00:27:10,521 --> 00:27:12,521 Exhibit A. 486 00:27:13,681 --> 00:27:15,241 It's called a Tardis 487 00:27:15,641 --> 00:27:18,601 but it's disguised as an old police phone box. 488 00:27:19,161 --> 00:27:20,321 - Huh? - It's bigger on the inside. 489 00:27:20,401 --> 00:27:22,881 And it's bigger on the inside than the outside. 490 00:27:25,121 --> 00:27:26,321 Voilà. 491 00:27:28,321 --> 00:27:30,561 And we travel the universe in it. 492 00:27:46,721 --> 00:27:48,401 And what about that thing? Did you bring it here? 493 00:27:48,481 --> 00:27:51,681 No, I'm going to protect you from that thing. 494 00:27:52,001 --> 00:27:53,441 You said it was coming back. 495 00:27:53,521 --> 00:27:55,721 Yes, it is coming back. Thanks to you. 496 00:27:55,801 --> 00:27:59,481 This is a school. We have to evacuate, call the Army. 497 00:27:59,561 --> 00:28:02,281 And that is the most dangerous thing right there. 498 00:28:03,201 --> 00:28:04,681 Are you sure hypnotising is not on the menu? 499 00:28:04,761 --> 00:28:05,761 Yes. 500 00:28:06,521 --> 00:28:08,761 Well, we need to get help. This is an emergency. 501 00:28:08,841 --> 00:28:11,281 Look, take him away, shut him up, shut him down, 502 00:28:11,361 --> 00:28:13,121 up or down, doesn't matter to me. 503 00:28:13,201 --> 00:28:16,241 - I've got a lot of work to do. Again. - Will you be okay? 504 00:28:16,401 --> 00:28:20,481 Why wouldn't I be okay? I was fine till you two blundered in. 505 00:28:20,561 --> 00:28:22,001 Am I just being ignored? 506 00:28:22,081 --> 00:28:24,081 Oh, come on, Danny. It's all right, it's... 507 00:28:24,161 --> 00:28:25,681 Come on, it's all fine. 508 00:28:25,761 --> 00:28:29,281 You'll be okay. Let's, uh, get those legs moving... 509 00:28:29,361 --> 00:28:31,761 That's it, down those stairs. Yep, that's it. 510 00:28:31,881 --> 00:28:35,601 This can all be explained and everything will be fine. 511 00:28:35,681 --> 00:28:39,321 And when this is all over, you can finish the job. 512 00:28:39,801 --> 00:28:40,841 How do you mean? 513 00:28:40,961 --> 00:28:44,721 Well, you've explained me to him. You haven't explained him to me. 514 00:28:57,161 --> 00:28:59,161 What do you think? 515 00:29:04,521 --> 00:29:05,561 Say something. 516 00:29:09,121 --> 00:29:10,321 So... 517 00:29:12,121 --> 00:29:15,761 there's an alien that used to look like Adrian. 518 00:29:17,921 --> 00:29:20,601 Hmm... Then he turned into a Scottish caretaker 519 00:29:20,681 --> 00:29:23,681 and every now and then, when I'm not looking, you elope with him. 520 00:29:23,761 --> 00:29:25,121 I don't elope. 521 00:29:25,201 --> 00:29:26,601 - Do you love him? - No. 522 00:29:27,841 --> 00:29:29,601 Really had enough of the lies. 523 00:29:31,801 --> 00:29:34,441 - Not in that way. - What other way is there? 524 00:29:34,521 --> 00:29:36,481 - You know what I mean. - I don't know what you mean. 525 00:29:36,561 --> 00:29:39,281 I know what you tell me, which isn't always the truth. 526 00:29:42,121 --> 00:29:44,121 Why do you do it? 527 00:29:46,561 --> 00:29:48,641 Why do you fly off in the box with him? 528 00:29:49,881 --> 00:29:52,801 The truth, please, just this once. 529 00:29:57,681 --> 00:29:58,841 Because... 530 00:30:00,641 --> 00:30:01,921 it's amazing. 531 00:30:03,921 --> 00:30:06,921 Because... I see wonders. 532 00:30:09,401 --> 00:30:10,441 Okay. 533 00:30:19,161 --> 00:30:20,241 What are you thinking? 534 00:30:21,881 --> 00:30:23,161 There's a good question. 535 00:30:27,321 --> 00:30:29,641 It's funny, you only really know what someone thinks of you 536 00:30:29,721 --> 00:30:31,721 when you know what lies they've told you. 537 00:30:33,001 --> 00:30:37,561 You say you've seen wonders, you've seen amazing things 538 00:30:37,641 --> 00:30:40,641 and you kept them secret. 539 00:30:41,961 --> 00:30:43,001 From me. 540 00:30:46,201 --> 00:30:48,241 So what do you think of me, Clara? 541 00:30:50,161 --> 00:30:53,561 - Please, tell me how I fix this. - I just want to know who you are. 542 00:30:53,641 --> 00:30:54,961 You know who I am. 543 00:30:56,241 --> 00:31:01,081 When you're with him. When you're with the Doctor. 544 00:31:11,801 --> 00:31:15,041 Okay, I think we've just about got enough time before parents' evening. 545 00:31:15,241 --> 00:31:18,001 An invisibility watch? Not even a ring. 546 00:31:18,361 --> 00:31:19,801 Press the button on the side, you're invisible. 547 00:31:19,881 --> 00:31:22,001 You'll see me with the Doctor, the other me. 548 00:31:22,081 --> 00:31:25,001 The exactly the same, other me. Okay? 549 00:31:32,561 --> 00:31:35,601 Afternoon. Thanks for keeping out of my way. 550 00:31:36,561 --> 00:31:38,761 You haven't brought Dave with you, I hope. 551 00:31:39,761 --> 00:31:42,601 His name's Danny. And no, I haven't. 552 00:31:44,041 --> 00:31:47,041 I've, uh, explained it all to him. He gets it, he took it really well. 553 00:31:47,121 --> 00:31:48,441 Pass me that synestic. 554 00:31:53,721 --> 00:31:56,681 So, when the Blitzer comes back, are you going to catch him with that? 555 00:31:56,881 --> 00:32:00,641 It'll be a long and fiddly job. It's going to take me at least 24 hours. 556 00:32:00,721 --> 00:32:03,081 Even longer if people keep talking to me, so do keep going. 557 00:32:03,161 --> 00:32:05,161 So, if it comes back Thursday night, are you sure about that? 558 00:32:05,241 --> 00:32:06,441 'Cause you said chronodyne is unstable. 559 00:32:06,521 --> 00:32:08,881 If you want bother someone, go and bother PE. 560 00:32:10,841 --> 00:32:12,241 He's a maths teacher. 561 00:32:13,121 --> 00:32:15,921 - That's a shame, I like maths. - Not a soldier. 562 00:32:21,961 --> 00:32:23,801 Interesting. 563 00:32:24,881 --> 00:32:26,121 What is? 564 00:32:26,681 --> 00:32:28,321 I'm bored. 565 00:32:28,401 --> 00:32:30,241 Let's go somewhere fun, what do you say? 566 00:32:30,361 --> 00:32:33,561 Do you want to see the Thames frozen over? Oh, those frost fairs! 567 00:32:33,641 --> 00:32:35,121 You can't. The Skovox thing. 568 00:32:35,201 --> 00:32:36,201 It's a time machine. 569 00:32:36,281 --> 00:32:38,441 We can get back straightaway, like we always do on your dates. 570 00:32:38,521 --> 00:32:41,841 Just make sure you don't get yourself a tan or anything, or lose a limb. 571 00:32:41,921 --> 00:32:43,201 I don't think we should, not this time. 572 00:32:43,281 --> 00:32:45,961 You've never said no before. Not even in the middle of dinner. 573 00:32:46,041 --> 00:32:47,801 Remember you had to eat two meals in a row? 574 00:32:47,881 --> 00:32:50,721 I just think, with the school in danger... 575 00:32:51,961 --> 00:32:53,921 - Danny! Why are you... - He already knows I'm here. 576 00:32:54,001 --> 00:32:56,441 That's why he's talking like that. He's being clever. 577 00:32:57,641 --> 00:32:59,401 Now you mentioned it, being a Time Lord, 578 00:32:59,481 --> 00:33:02,601 I can feel a light-shield aura when it's right next to me. 579 00:33:02,681 --> 00:33:05,441 Time Lord! Might have known. 580 00:33:05,521 --> 00:33:07,481 Might have known what? 581 00:33:07,561 --> 00:33:10,081 Well, the accent's good but you can always spot the aristocracy. 582 00:33:10,161 --> 00:33:13,241 - It's in their... The attitude? - Danny! 583 00:33:13,401 --> 00:33:15,481 Now, um, Time Lords, do you salute those? 584 00:33:15,561 --> 00:33:17,721 - Definitely not. - Sir! 585 00:33:18,281 --> 00:33:19,761 And you do not call me sir. 586 00:33:19,841 --> 00:33:21,961 As you wish, sir! Absolutely, sir! 587 00:33:22,281 --> 00:33:25,801 - And you can get out of my Tardis! - Immediately, sir. 588 00:33:25,881 --> 00:33:27,841 Doctor, this is stupid, this is unfair! 589 00:33:27,921 --> 00:33:32,041 One thing, Clara. I'm a soldier, guilty as charged. You see him? 590 00:33:32,121 --> 00:33:33,761 - He's an officer. - I am not an officer! 591 00:33:33,841 --> 00:33:36,081 I'm the one who carries you out of the fire. 592 00:33:36,161 --> 00:33:37,961 - He's the one who lights it. - Out. Now. 593 00:33:38,041 --> 00:33:39,601 - Right away, sir? Straight now? - Yes. 594 00:33:39,681 --> 00:33:42,121 - Am I dismissed? - Yes, you are! 595 00:33:43,841 --> 00:33:44,841 That's him. 596 00:33:45,321 --> 00:33:46,881 Look at him right now. 597 00:33:47,401 --> 00:33:48,721 That's who he is. 598 00:33:54,641 --> 00:33:56,801 On balance, I think that went quite well. 599 00:34:06,281 --> 00:34:08,801 Danny, it's not time to go home yet. 600 00:34:08,881 --> 00:34:10,641 It's parents' evening. 601 00:34:14,161 --> 00:34:15,441 Humans. 602 00:34:16,081 --> 00:34:17,801 I never learn. 603 00:34:18,121 --> 00:34:19,521 What's in the box? 604 00:34:21,841 --> 00:34:23,841 It's not really a policeman, is it? 605 00:34:27,321 --> 00:34:31,361 You want to know what's in that box? I'll tell you what's in that box. 606 00:34:32,161 --> 00:34:33,801 It's a time machine. 607 00:34:34,041 --> 00:34:36,241 It also travels in space 608 00:34:36,321 --> 00:34:39,561 and it usually contains a man who just wants to get on with his work 609 00:34:39,641 --> 00:34:42,521 of preventing the end of the world 610 00:34:42,601 --> 00:34:45,641 but keeps being interrupted by boring little humans. 611 00:34:46,201 --> 00:34:49,361 Cool. So, that's really a spaceship? 612 00:34:50,801 --> 00:34:53,161 I'm serious, I'm trying to save this planet. 613 00:34:53,241 --> 00:34:56,761 End of the world for me tonight, whatever you do. Parents' evening. 614 00:34:56,841 --> 00:34:59,041 Is your name really Disruptive Influence? 615 00:34:59,561 --> 00:35:02,641 Courtney Woods. Can I go in space? 616 00:35:02,881 --> 00:35:05,441 I'll let you know. I may have a vacancy. 617 00:35:05,601 --> 00:35:07,281 But not right now. 618 00:35:10,521 --> 00:35:13,481 Two days. I can do it. 619 00:35:19,361 --> 00:35:24,201 Rights, are we quorate? Time to admit the hordes. 620 00:35:24,281 --> 00:35:26,601 And look who's at the front of the queue. 621 00:35:26,681 --> 00:35:28,761 - Who are they? - Courtney Woods' mum and dad. 622 00:35:28,841 --> 00:35:29,841 Can someone else do them first? 623 00:35:29,921 --> 00:35:31,601 No problem, Ade. I can cope with anything tonight. 624 00:35:31,681 --> 00:35:33,281 Oh, happy days! 625 00:36:08,601 --> 00:36:12,281 No, no, no. No, no, no, no! 626 00:36:12,361 --> 00:36:16,401 I would say yes, I'm afraid Courtney is a disruptive influence. 627 00:36:16,481 --> 00:36:19,481 Yeah, but last year you said she was a very disruptive influence. 628 00:36:19,561 --> 00:36:22,281 So, I suppose that counts as an improvement. 629 00:36:30,521 --> 00:36:33,481 Excuse me, I think the caretaker wants me. 630 00:36:33,561 --> 00:36:36,761 Sorry, Mrs Christopholou, I think the caretaker wants me, too. 631 00:36:36,841 --> 00:36:38,081 What about my Angelina? 632 00:36:38,161 --> 00:36:40,361 Yeah, she's great, yeah, a really great girl, A-plus, 633 00:36:40,441 --> 00:36:42,801 ten out of ten, top of the class. Sorry. 634 00:36:43,681 --> 00:36:46,561 Although, actually, handwriting could be better. 635 00:36:51,121 --> 00:36:52,961 I'm sure they'll be back in a moment. 636 00:36:53,081 --> 00:36:55,481 Looks like our Courtney was right about those two. 637 00:36:56,081 --> 00:36:58,641 - What's happening? - Clara, the vortex is opening. 638 00:36:58,721 --> 00:37:00,601 You said Thursday night. Right, hall, quick. 639 00:37:00,681 --> 00:37:02,081 PE, shut up. 640 00:37:02,321 --> 00:37:03,961 Clara, it'll scan the area, 641 00:37:04,041 --> 00:37:05,841 if it gets to parents' evening, it'll kill them all. 642 00:37:05,921 --> 00:37:08,321 - We've got to evacuate. - Shut up! 643 00:37:08,401 --> 00:37:09,881 Quickly. What do I do? 644 00:37:11,961 --> 00:37:14,001 It'll be here any second. Get to the hall. 645 00:37:14,121 --> 00:37:16,961 Give it some squirts of helicon energy, setting number 41, 646 00:37:17,041 --> 00:37:19,321 no more than three seconds each, random pulses. 647 00:37:19,401 --> 00:37:22,281 Distract it, then you lead it away from the hall, give me two minutes. 648 00:37:22,361 --> 00:37:24,281 - Then what? - Just run straight to the Tardis. 649 00:37:24,361 --> 00:37:26,761 But your gadget isn't ready yet. Twenty-four hours, you said. 650 00:37:26,841 --> 00:37:30,081 Yes, well, I've revised that down to two minutes. Probably. Clara, go. 651 00:37:30,161 --> 00:37:32,001 - On my way. - You're using her like a decoy? 652 00:37:32,081 --> 00:37:34,321 No, not like a decoy. As a decoy. 653 00:37:34,441 --> 00:37:36,761 Don't they teach you anything at stupid school? 654 00:37:37,121 --> 00:37:38,801 Well, is there anything I can do? 655 00:37:38,881 --> 00:37:41,601 Yes. Yes, and this is very, very important. 656 00:37:41,681 --> 00:37:42,841 Leave us alone! 657 00:37:47,561 --> 00:37:50,961 Disrupt temporal lock. Disengage scan. 658 00:37:51,041 --> 00:37:52,041 Here we go. 659 00:37:56,121 --> 00:38:01,161 Incoming, stop. Identified, helicon. Helicon. Commence retargeting. 660 00:38:05,241 --> 00:38:07,841 Target acquired. Destroy. 661 00:38:13,801 --> 00:38:15,321 Target within range. 662 00:38:17,521 --> 00:38:20,841 Destroy. 663 00:38:23,321 --> 00:38:26,441 - Destroy. Destroy. - Doctor, now, it's got to be now! 664 00:38:26,521 --> 00:38:27,641 Twenty seconds. 665 00:38:27,721 --> 00:38:29,081 Destroy. Destroy. 666 00:38:29,521 --> 00:38:30,601 Doctor! 667 00:38:37,161 --> 00:38:39,041 - Am I green? Am I green? - You're green! 668 00:38:39,121 --> 00:38:40,841 Stop! Skovox Blitzer! 669 00:38:40,921 --> 00:38:41,921 Awaiting orders. 670 00:38:42,001 --> 00:38:45,961 Superior Skovox Artificer. Analyse, stop. Analyse, stop. 671 00:38:46,041 --> 00:38:51,241 Superior recognised. Pattern, 1-1-0. Orders. Orders. 672 00:38:51,881 --> 00:38:53,161 Why's it listening to you? 673 00:38:53,241 --> 00:38:55,921 Listening to its superior. This is a rough copy. 674 00:38:56,001 --> 00:38:57,041 It thinks I'm its general. 675 00:38:57,081 --> 00:39:00,201 Initiate input. Commence shutdown protocol. 676 00:39:00,561 --> 00:39:02,361 No conflict. Conclusion? 677 00:39:02,961 --> 00:39:04,681 Problem. Solution. 678 00:39:06,081 --> 00:39:07,081 Conclusion? 679 00:39:07,201 --> 00:39:10,041 Final input code missing. Emergency terminate. 680 00:39:10,121 --> 00:39:12,561 Initiate self-destruct in nine, eight... 681 00:39:12,641 --> 00:39:14,601 The input code. I forgot the final input code! 682 00:39:14,681 --> 00:39:15,961 ...seven, six, five... 683 00:39:16,081 --> 00:39:18,201 - Do it now! - I need time. Distract it, Clara! 684 00:39:18,281 --> 00:39:20,401 Me? What can I do? ...Three, two, one. 685 00:39:20,481 --> 00:39:22,481 Oi, Skovox, over here. 686 00:39:24,081 --> 00:39:25,881 Under attack. 687 00:39:30,961 --> 00:39:36,681 Artificer. Artificer. Stop. Confirm. Override final input code. 688 00:39:36,761 --> 00:39:39,641 Code accepted. Abort self-destruct. 689 00:39:40,881 --> 00:39:44,321 Orders accepted. Stop. Stop. Stop. 690 00:39:46,001 --> 00:39:49,001 Oh, my God! Oh, my God, you were amazing! 691 00:39:49,081 --> 00:39:51,121 Oh, my God, you were so brilliant! 692 00:39:51,201 --> 00:39:53,841 Well, yeah, I was okay, wasn't I? 693 00:39:54,321 --> 00:39:57,121 I was behind you every step of the way. 694 00:39:57,441 --> 00:39:59,441 Had to make sure you were safe. 695 00:40:00,521 --> 00:40:01,561 You okay? 696 00:40:03,601 --> 00:40:04,641 Okay. 697 00:40:06,361 --> 00:40:07,641 Just Okay? 698 00:40:08,801 --> 00:40:10,401 It's all right, it doesn't matter. 699 00:40:10,481 --> 00:40:12,601 I don't need him to like me. 700 00:40:12,761 --> 00:40:15,201 It doesn't matter if he likes me or hates me. 701 00:40:15,281 --> 00:40:18,281 I just need to do exactly one thing for you. 702 00:40:18,521 --> 00:40:21,521 Doctor, am I right? 703 00:40:24,001 --> 00:40:25,081 Yes. 704 00:40:25,801 --> 00:40:27,761 What? What one thing? 705 00:40:28,881 --> 00:40:30,601 I need to be good enough for you. 706 00:40:31,321 --> 00:40:34,041 That's why he's angry. Just in case I'm not. 707 00:40:40,921 --> 00:40:43,921 He, uh... He did just save the whole world. 708 00:40:45,521 --> 00:40:47,121 Yeah, yeah. 709 00:40:49,281 --> 00:40:50,321 Good start. 710 00:40:55,081 --> 00:40:58,081 Farewell, Skovox Blitzer. Have a nice war. 711 00:40:58,201 --> 00:41:01,401 So, Courtney Woods, impressed yet? 712 00:41:02,561 --> 00:41:05,441 Actually, I'm feeling a bit ill. 713 00:41:05,521 --> 00:41:07,801 Ah, it can be a bit overwhelming. 714 00:41:08,241 --> 00:41:11,921 But look, the Olveron Cluster. 715 00:41:12,601 --> 00:41:17,361 A million stars, 100 million inhabited planets. 716 00:41:23,361 --> 00:41:26,601 Ah, yes, there has been a spillage. 717 00:41:34,121 --> 00:41:36,041 So what do you think of him now? 718 00:41:36,761 --> 00:41:38,361 - Of the Doctor? - Yeah. 719 00:41:39,521 --> 00:41:42,001 See, he's all right, isn't he, really? Underneath it all. 720 00:41:48,601 --> 00:41:49,641 Okay. 721 00:41:49,801 --> 00:41:51,121 Tell me what you're thinking. 722 00:41:53,921 --> 00:41:55,241 I know men like him. 723 00:41:55,601 --> 00:41:57,121 I've served under them. 724 00:41:58,041 --> 00:42:01,961 They push you and make you stronger, 725 00:42:02,561 --> 00:42:05,201 till you're doing things you never thought you could. 726 00:42:05,641 --> 00:42:09,041 I saw you tonight, you did exactly what he told you. 727 00:42:09,161 --> 00:42:10,761 You weren't even scared. 728 00:42:13,121 --> 00:42:14,281 And you should have been. 729 00:42:16,721 --> 00:42:20,121 I trust him. He has never let me down. 730 00:42:24,041 --> 00:42:25,561 Fine. 731 00:42:27,601 --> 00:42:30,721 If he ever pushes you too far, I want you to tell me 732 00:42:30,801 --> 00:42:32,201 because I know what that's like. 733 00:42:33,841 --> 00:42:36,961 - You'll tell me if that happens, yeah? - Yeah, it's a deal. 734 00:42:37,041 --> 00:42:40,041 - No. It's a promise. - Okay, I promise. 735 00:42:41,881 --> 00:42:44,161 And if you break that promise, Clara, we're finished. 736 00:42:44,241 --> 00:42:45,241 Don't say that. 737 00:42:45,321 --> 00:42:48,721 I am saying it because if you don't tell me the truth, 738 00:42:48,801 --> 00:42:53,161 I can't help you and I could never stand not being able to help you. 739 00:42:54,201 --> 00:42:55,241 Are we clear? 740 00:42:56,561 --> 00:42:59,241 Yes. We're clear. 741 00:43:12,881 --> 00:43:16,321 It was mad, it was like in a film or on the telly, 742 00:43:16,401 --> 00:43:19,001 like with science fiction guns. 743 00:43:19,121 --> 00:43:22,121 Skovox Blitzer, sounds like. We've had a few in from that. 744 00:43:22,201 --> 00:43:24,281 - Wouldn't feel too bad. - If I hadn't... 745 00:43:26,361 --> 00:43:28,281 If I hadn't... 746 00:43:29,241 --> 00:43:33,201 Hang on. That doesn't make sense. 747 00:43:34,161 --> 00:43:35,441 Makes perfect sense to me. 748 00:43:35,561 --> 00:43:40,121 How did I escape? I don't remember how I got away. 749 00:43:40,201 --> 00:43:44,841 Well, I was coming to that. I'm afraid you really rather didn't. 750 00:43:51,441 --> 00:43:53,041 Then how did I get here? 751 00:43:53,161 --> 00:43:55,441 Well, big question. 752 00:43:55,521 --> 00:43:56,601 Where am I? 753 00:43:56,721 --> 00:43:59,281 What name would you like? There's a range. The afterlife. 754 00:43:59,361 --> 00:44:02,081 The Promised Land. I'm partialto the Nethersphere. 755 00:44:06,721 --> 00:44:08,721 MY God! 756 00:44:16,921 --> 00:44:19,561 Sorry, she's a bit, uh, busy today. 757 00:44:20,841 --> 00:44:23,841 So, any questions? 758 00:44:26,361 --> 00:44:29,281 Hello, Earth. We have a terrible decision to make. 759 00:44:29,361 --> 00:44:32,481 An innocent life versus the future of all mankind. 760 00:44:32,921 --> 00:44:34,921 Whatever future humanity might have 761 00:44:35,001 --> 00:44:38,201 depends upon the choice that is made right here, right now. 762 00:44:43,361 --> 00:44:44,561 Decision made.