1
00:00:09,721 --> 00:00:11,481
There's no way out of this.
2
00:00:11,561 --> 00:00:13,001
We're going to die here.
3
00:00:13,721 --> 00:00:15,241
DOCTOR: Pass me the vibro-cutters.
4
00:00:15,361 --> 00:00:16,561
CLARA: They're in my pocket.
5
00:00:16,801 --> 00:00:18,161
DOCTOR: Come on, then, pass them to me.
6
00:00:18,241 --> 00:00:20,561
In my other jacket. At home.
7
00:00:20,641 --> 00:00:23,001
Why have you got have two jackets?
Is one of them faulty?
8
00:00:23,081 --> 00:00:25,601
Look, I don't have the vibro-cutters.
If I had the vibro-cutters,
9
00:00:25,681 --> 00:00:28,081
I wouldn't be able to pass you
the vibro-cutters.
10
00:00:28,161 --> 00:00:29,801
We're going to starve
to death out here.
11
00:00:30,041 --> 00:00:31,641
Of course we won't starve.
12
00:00:31,761 --> 00:00:34,561
The sand piranhas will get us
long before that.
13
00:00:38,001 --> 00:00:39,521
Hiya. Sorry I'm late.
14
00:00:39,841 --> 00:00:42,241
You're not, but you are brown.
You're very brown.
15
00:00:42,321 --> 00:00:43,721
You weren't that brown this morning.
16
00:00:43,841 --> 00:00:46,001
Sunbed. Phew!
I'll get them in. Usual?
17
00:00:47,041 --> 00:00:48,361
DOCTOR: Fish people.
18
00:00:48,441 --> 00:00:49,601
CLARA: What are they like?
19
00:00:49,681 --> 00:00:52,401
Fish and people. Come and see.
20
00:00:54,521 --> 00:00:57,441
- How's you?
- Evening. Nice frock.
21
00:00:57,521 --> 00:00:59,441
- It's a bit wet.
- Freak shower.
22
00:01:02,081 --> 00:01:03,121
Was that seaweed?
23
00:01:03,681 --> 00:01:04,721
I said freak.
24
00:01:08,521 --> 00:01:09,601
How much further?
25
00:01:09,681 --> 00:01:11,521
The Tardis has got to be
around this corner.
26
00:01:11,601 --> 00:01:12,601
"Oh!
"Oh!
27
00:01:12,721 --> 00:01:14,601
I hate soldiers.
Don't you hate soldiers?
28
00:01:14,681 --> 00:01:15,681
Yeah.
29
00:01:15,761 --> 00:01:16,881
- DOCTOR:just keep running!
- Ooh!
30
00:01:19,161 --> 00:01:22,881
- Oh, yeah. Danny. Hiya.
- Morning. Ready to run?
31
00:01:23,001 --> 00:01:24,041
Mmm-hmm.
32
00:01:24,601 --> 00:01:26,361
(PANTING)
33
00:01:28,921 --> 00:01:31,681
I can't keep doing this. I can't do it.
34
00:01:32,881 --> 00:01:36,321
Yes, I can. I can do it,
of course I can do it.
35
00:01:38,401 --> 00:01:40,401
I've got it all under control.
36
00:01:41,561 --> 00:01:43,241
So, where are we off to?
37
00:01:43,841 --> 00:01:46,841
Clara. You look lovely today.
Have you had a wash?
38
00:01:49,441 --> 00:01:51,881
- Why are you being nice?
- Because it works on you.
39
00:01:51,961 --> 00:01:56,041
Listen, I'm sorry but there's
going to be no trip today.
40
00:01:56,201 --> 00:01:58,921
I'm sorry. Er, I've got to do
a thing. It might take a while.
41
00:01:59,361 --> 00:02:01,041
- What thing?
-just a thing.
42
00:02:01,401 --> 00:02:04,321
You're being mysterious
and do you know what means?
43
00:02:04,561 --> 00:02:05,921
I'm a man of mystery.
44
00:02:06,081 --> 00:02:08,881
Hmm. It means that you are
a very clever man
45
00:02:09,001 --> 00:02:11,241
making the mistake,
common to very clever people,
46
00:02:11,321 --> 00:02:13,881
of assuming that
everybody else is stupid.
47
00:02:13,961 --> 00:02:14,961
Where are you going?
48
00:02:15,121 --> 00:02:17,041
Undercover. Deep cover.
49
00:02:17,201 --> 00:02:18,561
- Can you do deep cover?
- What do you mean?
50
00:02:18,641 --> 00:02:20,641
- Have you seen you?
- Of course I can do deep cover!
51
00:02:20,721 --> 00:02:22,521
(LAUGHING) Where? The Magic Circle?
52
00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:24,081
(SNAPPING FINGERS)
53
00:02:24,161 --> 00:02:26,601
- I'll see you when I see you.
-(SNAPPING FINGERS) When's that?
54
00:02:27,801 --> 00:02:28,881
(SNAPPING FINGERS)
55
00:02:28,961 --> 00:02:30,201
When I see you.
56
00:02:31,961 --> 00:02:32,961
Hmm...
57
00:02:36,721 --> 00:02:37,721
Hmm...
58
00:02:38,961 --> 00:02:40,681
I'll be sure to have a wash.
59
00:02:40,841 --> 00:02:42,801
Excellent. I was meaning to bring it up.
60
00:02:53,761 --> 00:02:55,281
(MONITOR BEEPING)
61
00:02:58,081 --> 00:02:59,441
(IN DISTINCT CHATTER)
62
00:03:00,001 --> 00:03:02,601
You lot! Not here. Over there.
63
00:03:05,441 --> 00:03:06,801
Morning, Mr Pink.
64
00:03:06,881 --> 00:03:10,041
Morning, Courtney.
And good morning, Miss Oswald.
65
00:03:10,121 --> 00:03:11,761
Morning, Mr Pink.
66
00:03:12,241 --> 00:03:13,241
(GIGGLING)
67
00:03:16,401 --> 00:03:19,321
- Do they know?
- Possibly. They're children.
68
00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:22,401
It's like they've got
minds of their own. Are you okay?
69
00:03:22,481 --> 00:03:24,641
Yeah, of course I'm okay.
Why wouldn't I be okay?
70
00:03:24,721 --> 00:03:26,601
I don't know. Every time I see you,
it's like you're...
71
00:03:26,681 --> 00:03:27,721
What?
72
00:03:27,801 --> 00:03:29,881
In a rush. In a state.
73
00:03:29,961 --> 00:03:31,721
In a space helmet one time.
74
00:03:31,801 --> 00:03:34,281
Sorry, er, I've had a thing
75
00:03:34,361 --> 00:03:37,081
and, er, the thing's gone.
So I'm all yours.
76
00:03:37,161 --> 00:03:39,001
- What thing? What's gone?
- Nothing.
77
00:03:39,081 --> 00:03:41,241
It's like you're trying
to be mysterious.
78
00:03:42,001 --> 00:03:43,281
I'm not stupid, you know.
79
00:03:44,241 --> 00:03:47,281
(SIGHING)
The next few days are all about you.
80
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:48,761
I promise.
81
00:03:50,121 --> 00:03:51,121
(CLEARING THROAT)
82
00:03:52,001 --> 00:03:56,081
Which means, Jo, you'll have to
cover for 8-4M in L3.
83
00:03:56,521 --> 00:03:58,761
Hold on, there is just one more thing.
84
00:03:58,841 --> 00:04:01,241
Atif's off sick, so we've got a newbie.
85
00:04:01,321 --> 00:04:02,361
I did ask him to come along.
86
00:04:02,441 --> 00:04:04,441
-(KNOCKING)
- Ah, here he is.
87
00:04:06,441 --> 00:04:07,441
Do come in.
88
00:04:09,201 --> 00:04:12,041
I'm the new caretaker. John Smith.
89
00:04:12,561 --> 00:04:14,361
Welcome to Coal Hill, Mr Smith.
90
00:04:14,441 --> 00:04:17,201
Thanks. Yes, John Smith's the name.
91
00:04:17,281 --> 00:04:21,161
But you know, here's the thing.
Most people just call me the Doctor.
92
00:04:22,441 --> 00:04:24,041
(DOCTOR WHO THEME)
93
00:05:01,121 --> 00:05:04,041
So if anybody needs me,
just, you know, give me a shout.
94
00:05:04,121 --> 00:05:07,161
I'll be in the storeroom
just getting the lie of the land.
95
00:05:07,241 --> 00:05:10,281
Yes, nobody's taking
any notice at all.
96
00:05:10,401 --> 00:05:12,801
Absolutely good news, because
97
00:05:12,881 --> 00:05:15,601
it means that I must be coming across
just as an absolutely
98
00:05:15,681 --> 00:05:18,241
-boring human being like you.
-(MOUTHING)
99
00:05:18,881 --> 00:05:20,881
Deep cover. Deep cover.
100
00:05:23,121 --> 00:05:25,001
- Do you know him?
- Know who?
101
00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:28,401
- The caretaker, Smith. The Doctor.
- Never seen him before in my life.
102
00:05:28,481 --> 00:05:31,281
Bit intense-looking.
Did you see those eyebrows?
103
00:05:31,401 --> 00:05:32,401
Did he wink at you?
104
00:05:32,481 --> 00:05:34,481
No, I think that was just
sort of like a general wink.
105
00:05:34,561 --> 00:05:36,841
You know, he winked at everybody.
It was a general welcoming wink.
106
00:05:36,921 --> 00:05:39,601
Ah! I have, erm, left some marking.
107
00:05:39,681 --> 00:05:42,721
Assembly. Chop-chop. Off you pop.
Catch you in a bit. Excuse me.
108
00:05:48,121 --> 00:05:50,481
- So, you recognised me, then.
- You're wearing a different coat.
109
00:05:50,561 --> 00:05:54,281
- You saw straight through that.
- Deep cover in my school? Why?
110
00:05:54,361 --> 00:05:56,161
Where's Atif?
What have you done with him?
111
00:05:56,241 --> 00:05:58,681
He's fine, hypnotised,
he thinks he's got the flu.
112
00:05:58,761 --> 00:06:01,801
Also, a flying car and three wives.
It's going to be a rude awakening.
113
00:06:01,881 --> 00:06:03,201
Is it aliens?
114
00:06:03,601 --> 00:06:06,241
Oh, my God, is that
why you're here? Are there aliens?
115
00:06:06,321 --> 00:06:08,521
It's assembly, you better get going.
Go and worship something.
116
00:06:08,601 --> 00:06:10,441
Are the aliens in this school?
117
00:06:10,521 --> 00:06:13,361
Listen, it's lovely talking to you,
but I've really got to get on.
118
00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:14,881
I'm a caretaker now.
Look, I've got a brush.
119
00:06:14,961 --> 00:06:16,881
Doctor, is there an alien
in this school?
120
00:06:16,961 --> 00:06:19,321
Yes, me. Now, go.
121
00:06:19,561 --> 00:06:21,961
The walls need sponging
and there's a sinister puddle.
122
00:06:22,041 --> 00:06:23,121
You can't do this.
123
00:06:23,521 --> 00:06:27,161
You cannot pass yourself off
as a real person among actual people.
124
00:06:27,241 --> 00:06:29,041
I lived among otters
once for a month.
125
00:06:29,121 --> 00:06:31,841
Well, I sulked. River and I,
we had this big fight...
126
00:06:31,921 --> 00:06:35,921
- Human beings are not otters!
- Exactly, it'll be even easier.
127
00:06:37,041 --> 00:06:41,801
Okay. One question.
And you will answer this question.
128
00:06:44,041 --> 00:06:45,081
Are the kids safe?
129
00:06:45,521 --> 00:06:47,721
No. Nobody is safe.
130
00:06:48,121 --> 00:06:51,441
But soon the answer will be
yes, everybody is safe,
131
00:06:51,561 --> 00:06:54,481
if you let me get on now.
132
00:06:55,361 --> 00:06:58,481
Pretend you don't know me.
Stay out of my way.
133
00:06:58,561 --> 00:07:01,441
The less you know, the better.
I'll explain it all later.
134
00:07:01,521 --> 00:07:03,361
- Go and sing with the otters.
- I hate you.
135
00:07:03,441 --> 00:07:05,601
That's fine,
that's a perfectly normal reaction.
136
00:07:11,481 --> 00:07:13,441
Basically, you've to get
that guy on the block
137
00:07:13,521 --> 00:07:15,681
and stop the other one
from shooting him. It's so sick.
138
00:07:15,761 --> 00:07:18,321
I, I got that guy.
That was, like, six months ago.
139
00:07:18,401 --> 00:07:20,081
What you actually have to do
is flick it that way.
140
00:07:20,161 --> 00:07:21,281
No, but I'm saying...
141
00:07:21,361 --> 00:07:22,921
You Coal Hill kids?
142
00:07:23,881 --> 00:07:26,681
- Yeah, so what if we are?
- Then get to Coal Hill.
143
00:07:27,521 --> 00:07:29,281
We've got a free period, mate.
144
00:07:29,441 --> 00:07:31,041
You want me to take your names?
145
00:07:31,841 --> 00:07:32,881
Come on.
146
00:07:34,921 --> 00:07:36,161
This is unfair, mate.
147
00:07:38,441 --> 00:07:39,441
(THUDDING)
148
00:07:40,041 --> 00:07:41,961
Always come in threes.
149
00:07:44,081 --> 00:07:46,041
Oi! I know you're in there.
150
00:07:57,361 --> 00:08:00,641
Hello? I'm a police officer.
151
00:08:06,521 --> 00:08:08,481
There's no point hiding.
152
00:08:11,281 --> 00:08:12,481
Do you hear me?
153
00:08:13,801 --> 00:08:15,401
Come on, kiddo.
154
00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:19,801
ROBOTIC VOICE: Five. Stop intruder.
Five. Stop intruder.
155
00:08:20,201 --> 00:08:22,721
Turn your game off,
it's time for school.
156
00:08:22,801 --> 00:08:25,761
Come on! Stop messing about!
157
00:08:27,321 --> 00:08:30,641
ROBOTIC VOICE:
Problem. Solution." destroy.
158
00:08:31,161 --> 00:08:32,161
(SCREAMING)
159
00:08:40,961 --> 00:08:45,121
:..though unheard by Lydia,
was caught by Elizabeth
160
00:08:45,201 --> 00:08:48,161
"and as it assured her
that Darcy was not less..."
161
00:08:51,081 --> 00:08:54,481
- You all right, Miss Oswald?
- Yes, Kelvin, I'm fine, you carry on.
162
00:08:55,721 --> 00:08:57,801
KELVIN: Um, "every feeling
of displeasure
163
00:08:57,881 --> 00:08:59,961
"against the former
was so sharpened..."
164
00:09:00,041 --> 00:09:02,401
Can I help you, Mr Smith?
165
00:09:02,921 --> 00:09:05,281
- Wrong.
- I'm sorry?
166
00:09:05,561 --> 00:09:09,481
On the board. Wrong. Wrong.
167
00:09:09,561 --> 00:09:12,401
Oh, no, no, no. No. You don't do this.
168
00:09:12,481 --> 00:09:14,881
You are the caretaker,
this is not what you do.
169
00:09:14,961 --> 00:09:16,601
- Just taking care.
- Not your area!
170
00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:20,121
Jane Austen wrote
Pride and Prejudice in 1796.
171
00:09:20,201 --> 00:09:24,041
(CLEARING THROAT) This is Mr Smith,
the temporary caretaker,
172
00:09:24,121 --> 00:09:25,121
and he's a bit confused.
173
00:09:25,201 --> 00:09:29,401
Not in 1797, because she didn't
have the time. She was so busy...
174
00:09:29,481 --> 00:09:31,881
Oh, what, and I suppose she was
your bezzie mate, was she?
175
00:09:31,961 --> 00:09:33,121
And you went on holidays together
176
00:09:33,201 --> 00:09:35,481
and then you got kidnapped
by Boggans from space
177
00:09:35,561 --> 00:09:38,441
and then you all formed
a band and met Buddy Holly.
178
00:09:39,561 --> 00:09:42,161
No, I read the book.
There's a bio at the back.
179
00:09:42,281 --> 00:09:44,041
Get down.
180
00:09:45,161 --> 00:09:46,601
-Boggans?
-Go!
181
00:09:49,361 --> 00:09:50,361
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
182
00:09:51,241 --> 00:09:54,401
Right, that's it.
Uh, well done, Kelvin. Get going.
183
00:09:54,481 --> 00:09:56,601
See you all in a couple of days.
Thanks very much.
184
00:09:56,681 --> 00:09:59,001
Miss, what about our homework?
185
00:09:59,121 --> 00:10:01,441
Who asks for homework? Amateur.
186
00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:11,161
- Miss Oswald...
- Oh, hello, Tobias, can't really stop.
187
00:10:11,241 --> 00:10:14,121
I'm on the school football team
against Durants on Thursday.
188
00:10:14,201 --> 00:10:17,241
Sorry, but can I go early
from English Thursday afternoon?
189
00:10:17,321 --> 00:10:19,001
Tobias, you can do whatever you want.
190
00:10:19,081 --> 00:10:21,921
- Ah, Clara, can I have a quick word?
- Actually, I, erm...
191
00:10:22,001 --> 00:10:25,241
Two weeks Saturday, the fete,
can I put you down for the tombola
192
00:10:25,321 --> 00:10:27,481
and the raffle?
James H can't cover it now.
193
00:10:27,561 --> 00:10:30,281
His wife's going into hospital.
Hip replacement. Constant agony.
194
00:10:30,361 --> 00:10:31,401
Great!
195
00:10:31,801 --> 00:10:35,001
No, awful. That's terrible. Awful.
I hope she'll be okay.
196
00:10:35,081 --> 00:10:37,521
Um, I'll do anything.
Anything. Okay. Bye.
197
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:44,521
Miss Oswald, Katie Sharp says
I pulled her hair in Biology.
198
00:10:44,601 --> 00:10:46,281
Courtney, you are big enough
to look after yourself.
199
00:10:46,361 --> 00:10:48,561
Next class, jog on,
I need to talk to Mr Pink.
200
00:10:48,641 --> 00:10:49,841
Ozzie loves the Squaddie.
201
00:10:49,921 --> 00:10:51,441
- What was that?
- Nothing.
202
00:10:51,521 --> 00:10:53,401
ADRIAN: Of course, Danny Pink
is your man, Mr Smith.
203
00:10:53,481 --> 00:10:56,281
Five years' military experience,
sergeant, here and Afghan,
204
00:10:56,361 --> 00:10:59,641
so electrics, boilers, if you need
a hand, give him a shout.
205
00:10:59,721 --> 00:11:02,121
I, I've helped Atif
with a couple of things.
206
00:11:02,201 --> 00:11:04,921
I'm sure I won't needing you, Sergeant.
Fully qualified.
207
00:11:05,241 --> 00:11:06,241
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
208
00:11:07,561 --> 00:11:10,721
- You best get back to your PE class.
- Uh, I teach maths.
209
00:11:10,801 --> 00:11:13,441
- Do you? What, in emergencies?
- No, I'm a maths teacher.
210
00:11:13,521 --> 00:11:14,961
Yeah, he's a maths teacher...
211
00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:16,641
Mohammed, put that down!
212
00:11:16,761 --> 00:11:18,841
How does that work?
What if the kids have questions?
213
00:11:18,921 --> 00:11:20,201
- About what?
- Maths.
214
00:11:20,281 --> 00:11:21,961
I answer them. I'm a maths teacher.
215
00:11:22,041 --> 00:11:23,521
But he said you were a soldier.
216
00:11:23,921 --> 00:11:26,001
Yeah. I was a soldier.
Now I'm a maths teacher.
217
00:11:26,081 --> 00:11:27,721
But what about all the PE?
218
00:11:28,001 --> 00:11:30,041
I don't teach PE. I'm not a PE teacher.
219
00:11:30,841 --> 00:11:32,641
Sorry, that seems very unlikely.
220
00:11:32,721 --> 00:11:35,641
Er... (CLEARING THROAT)
Excuse me, Mr Pink,
221
00:11:35,721 --> 00:11:37,401
I think Maths 9-M4 are waiting.
222
00:11:37,481 --> 00:11:39,201
Yes, you'd better run along, Sergeant.
223
00:11:39,281 --> 00:11:41,201
That ball isn't going to
kick itself, is it?
224
00:11:41,281 --> 00:11:43,561
I'm not a PE teacher,
I'm a maths teacher.
225
00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:47,961
Nope, sorry.
No, I can't retain that.
226
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,961
I've tried, it's just not going in.
227
00:11:57,521 --> 00:12:00,441
So... Pink.
The name remind you of anything?
228
00:12:00,521 --> 00:12:02,441
Yeah. The colour.
229
00:12:03,521 --> 00:12:04,761
Colonel Orson Pink?
230
00:12:04,841 --> 00:12:06,841
The guy we met
at the end of the universe.
231
00:12:07,081 --> 00:12:10,441
Oh, yeah. Okay, yeah, same name,
doesn't look anything like him, though.
232
00:12:10,721 --> 00:12:12,081
Looks very like him.
233
00:12:12,201 --> 00:12:14,721
DOCTOR: Does he? I don't know.
Who remembers a PE teacher?
234
00:12:14,801 --> 00:12:15,801
Oh, never mind.
235
00:12:17,201 --> 00:12:19,201
What are you doing? What's in there?
236
00:12:19,441 --> 00:12:22,001
So... Is he here, then?
237
00:12:22,081 --> 00:12:23,081
Is who here?
238
00:12:23,641 --> 00:12:25,961
The one you keep going on
serious dates with.
239
00:12:26,041 --> 00:12:28,921
If he is, are you going to start
talking like a normal human being?
240
00:12:29,001 --> 00:12:31,441
- I promise I won't. I'm being nice.
- Doctor...
241
00:12:31,521 --> 00:12:34,281
- Clara. Got this period free, yes?
- No. Yes.
242
00:12:34,361 --> 00:12:36,961
- Great. Shakespeare.
- Sorry, what, Adrian?
243
00:12:38,441 --> 00:12:40,801
Oh... I see.
244
00:12:42,801 --> 00:12:45,761
- You see what?
- Nothing. Nothing at all.
245
00:12:46,201 --> 00:12:48,441
Excuse me. We have to
talk about The Tempest,
246
00:12:48,521 --> 00:12:51,561
in light of the changes to the Sixth
Form Shakespeare module blah-di-blah.
247
00:12:51,641 --> 00:12:53,601
Yes. Sorry, of course.
248
00:12:54,921 --> 00:12:57,681
Yes, yes, no, of course,
of course, yes.
249
00:12:57,761 --> 00:13:02,081
Don't mind this old man.
You two kids just pop off together.
250
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:04,121
Why are you talking like an idiot?
251
00:13:04,201 --> 00:13:06,801
I'm a caretaker, don't mind me.
252
00:13:06,961 --> 00:13:07,961
(BOTH CHUCKLING WEAKLY)
253
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:10,281
What we have to get across, I feel,
254
00:13:10,361 --> 00:13:15,321
is that fascinating enigma
of its...not-finishedness.
255
00:13:15,401 --> 00:13:17,041
Mmm, yes, good point, Ade.
256
00:13:20,241 --> 00:13:21,921
Oh, Clara.
257
00:13:35,241 --> 00:13:40,041
What does that mean? Kids.
What's the matter with kids today?
258
00:13:48,081 --> 00:13:49,081
(BEEPING)
259
00:13:50,721 --> 00:13:52,161
CLARA: Hey, I said you could play chess,
260
00:13:52,241 --> 00:13:54,601
I did not say you could play
football on the chessboard.
261
00:13:54,681 --> 00:13:57,241
Jack, Morgan, come on,
help me out, clear it up.
262
00:13:57,641 --> 00:14:00,321
(WHISTLING ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL)
263
00:14:08,201 --> 00:14:10,081
And one for luck.
264
00:14:10,161 --> 00:14:11,161
(BEEPING)
265
00:14:13,721 --> 00:14:15,961
Okay. Now we're in business.
266
00:14:16,161 --> 00:14:20,001
Let's see the lie of the land.
Time to see what's going on.
267
00:14:24,281 --> 00:14:25,321
Hello?
268
00:14:26,561 --> 00:14:27,721
Oi.
269
00:14:29,121 --> 00:14:31,481
What are you doing? Are you in there?
270
00:14:31,681 --> 00:14:33,441
DOCTOR: Mirror, mirror on the wall,
271
00:14:33,521 --> 00:14:36,361
who's the most dangerous of them all?
272
00:14:36,561 --> 00:14:40,121
There's been a spillage in
Geography, I need some paper towels.
273
00:14:40,961 --> 00:14:43,321
- Can't you read?
- Course I can read. Read what?
274
00:14:43,401 --> 00:14:45,921
The door. It says, "Keep Out."
275
00:14:46,001 --> 00:14:47,961
No, it says, "Go Away Humans."
276
00:14:48,841 --> 00:14:50,001
Oh, so it does.
277
00:14:50,081 --> 00:14:52,121
Never lose your temper
in the middle of a door sign.
278
00:14:52,201 --> 00:14:54,841
What was you doing in there?
What's that box?
279
00:14:54,921 --> 00:14:58,801
A caretakers box.
Every caretaker has their own box.
280
00:14:58,961 --> 00:15:00,241
It says, "Police."
281
00:15:00,321 --> 00:15:03,161
Exactly. There's a policeman
in there, in case of emergencies
282
00:15:03,241 --> 00:15:04,241
and children.
283
00:15:04,321 --> 00:15:06,801
- Towels, there, g-g-go.
- What was that green glow?
284
00:15:06,881 --> 00:15:08,721
There was a green glow
coming from in there.
285
00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:11,121
- What was it?
- Of course there was.
286
00:15:11,201 --> 00:15:13,361
- What's a policeman without a death ray?
-(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
287
00:15:13,801 --> 00:15:15,561
Oh, listen, there's the bell,
off you go.
288
00:15:15,641 --> 00:15:17,041
Haven't you got
shoplifting to go to?
289
00:15:17,121 --> 00:15:18,521
I'm going to tell
the Headmaster.
290
00:15:18,601 --> 00:15:20,641
Oh, yes, fine. Well, cut along,
you're running out of time.
291
00:15:20,721 --> 00:15:22,441
- For what?
- Everything.
292
00:15:22,681 --> 00:15:24,921
Human beings have incredibly
short lifespans.
293
00:15:25,001 --> 00:15:27,681
Frankly, you should all be
in a permanent state of panic.
294
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:30,761
- Tick tock, tick tock.
- You're weird.
295
00:15:30,841 --> 00:15:32,601
Yes, I am. What about you?
296
00:15:32,681 --> 00:15:34,721
I'm a disruptive influence.
297
00:15:35,801 --> 00:15:38,201
- Good to meet you.
- And you!
298
00:15:38,281 --> 00:15:40,321
- Now, get lost.
- Okay.
299
00:15:42,401 --> 00:15:45,001
Hello, miss, love to the Squaddie.
300
00:15:45,121 --> 00:15:46,641
Sorry, what did you say?
301
00:15:48,521 --> 00:15:49,721
What was she doing here?
302
00:15:49,801 --> 00:15:53,481
Paper towels.
Now, I imagine you have many questions.
303
00:15:53,561 --> 00:15:55,601
Fire away, I won't answer any of them.
304
00:15:55,681 --> 00:15:57,481
- What were they like?
- What were who like?
305
00:15:57,561 --> 00:15:58,561
The others before me.
306
00:15:58,641 --> 00:16:00,561
Did they let you get away
with this kind of thing?
307
00:16:01,201 --> 00:16:04,041
- This school is in danger.
- Well, it's lucky I'm here, then.
308
00:16:04,121 --> 00:16:06,001
- From you.
- Me?
309
00:16:06,081 --> 00:16:08,161
You wouldn't be here
if there wasn't an alien threat nearby.
310
00:16:08,241 --> 00:16:10,521
Your strategy for dealing with it
involves endangering this school.
311
00:16:10,601 --> 00:16:11,601
You don't know that.
312
00:16:11,681 --> 00:16:13,361
I don't know anything because
you haven't told me anything,
313
00:16:13,441 --> 00:16:14,561
which means I wouldn't approve,
which means
314
00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:16,121
you are endangering the school.
315
00:16:17,761 --> 00:16:19,121
(SONIC SCREWDRIVER WHIRRING)
316
00:16:21,721 --> 00:16:22,881
What's that?
317
00:16:22,961 --> 00:16:25,681
It's a scanner. I'm scanning.
Why do I keep you around?
318
00:16:25,761 --> 00:16:28,041
Because the alternative would be
developing a conscience of your own.
319
00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:29,121
Scanning for what?
320
00:16:29,681 --> 00:16:32,161
DOCTOR: Any alien technology
in this vicinity should show up.
321
00:16:32,281 --> 00:16:34,961
I used to have a teacher
exactly like you.
322
00:16:35,041 --> 00:16:36,761
You still do. Pay attention.
323
00:16:38,801 --> 00:16:40,161
What the hell is it?
324
00:16:40,841 --> 00:16:42,761
DOCTOR: A Skovox Blitzer,
325
00:16:43,161 --> 00:16:46,241
one of the deadliest
killing machines ever created.
326
00:16:46,321 --> 00:16:48,481
Probably homed in here
because of artron emissions.
327
00:16:48,561 --> 00:16:50,841
You've had enough of them
in this area over the years.
328
00:16:50,921 --> 00:16:54,881
There's enough explosive in its armoury
to take out the whole planet.
329
00:16:55,721 --> 00:16:57,601
Then leave it alone.
330
00:16:57,721 --> 00:17:00,841
Sooner or later,
it will creep from its hidey-hole
331
00:17:00,961 --> 00:17:03,841
and some military idiot
will try to attack it.
332
00:17:05,401 --> 00:17:07,441
The world is full of PE teachers.
333
00:17:10,361 --> 00:17:14,841
So, your insanely dangerous plan is?
334
00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:18,201
A new watch. Tiny bit disappointed.
335
00:17:18,281 --> 00:17:20,081
This is a very special watch.
336
00:17:20,161 --> 00:17:21,161
Mmm.
337
00:17:24,241 --> 00:17:25,241
(BEEPING)
338
00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:27,961
Doctor?
339
00:17:29,561 --> 00:17:30,681
Oi! Ow!
340
00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,881
Did you just flick my nose?
341
00:17:35,921 --> 00:17:37,841
You're invisible. (LAUGHING)
342
00:17:37,921 --> 00:17:39,281
Oh, my God, that's incredible!
343
00:17:39,361 --> 00:17:42,041
DOCTOR: Correct. I am invisible
and I am incredible.
344
00:17:42,121 --> 00:17:44,561
It's simply a matter of reversing
light waves. Hang on, I'm coming back.
345
00:17:44,641 --> 00:17:45,641
All right, where are you?
346
00:17:45,721 --> 00:17:47,121
Ooh! (GIGGLING)
347
00:17:47,201 --> 00:17:50,601
So, I give the Blitzer a tiny whiff
of non-threatening alien tech,
348
00:17:50,681 --> 00:17:53,481
I lead it back here, but I don't
want it to scan me, hence invisible.
349
00:17:53,561 --> 00:17:57,121
So, you're, you're leading the thing
here? To a school? My, my school?
350
00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:59,161
"My school"? Oh, that is telling.
351
00:17:59,241 --> 00:18:01,241
This is the only
suitably empty place in the area.
352
00:18:01,321 --> 00:18:04,481
I've set up a circle of time mines
around the school.
353
00:18:04,561 --> 00:18:06,961
- Chronodyne generators.
- Ooh.
354
00:18:07,041 --> 00:18:08,041
Bit unstable.
355
00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:11,721
I switch them on, the Blitzer gets
sucked into a big old time vortex,
356
00:18:11,801 --> 00:18:14,441
billions of years into the future.
It's dead easy. Tiny bit boring.
357
00:18:14,521 --> 00:18:16,881
- I'll need a book and a sandwich.
- And me. You're not doing this alone.
358
00:18:16,961 --> 00:18:20,561
I don't need you this time.
I'll see you tomorrow.
359
00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:24,961
We'll go somewhere nice.
Ancient Egypt. Crocodilopolis.
360
00:18:25,041 --> 00:18:28,161
They worship a big crocodile there,
so the name is a useful coincidence.
361
00:18:28,521 --> 00:18:30,361
Go and canoodle with your boyfriend.
362
00:18:35,241 --> 00:18:39,241
Come on. I wasn't born yesterday,
far from it.
363
00:18:39,361 --> 00:18:40,521
You did recognise him.
364
00:18:40,601 --> 00:18:44,241
Possibly reminded me of a certain
dashing young time traveller.
365
00:18:44,321 --> 00:18:46,921
Oh, of course you recognised him.
366
00:18:47,081 --> 00:18:51,561
Sorry. Stupid. I...
I underestimated you.
367
00:18:51,641 --> 00:18:53,321
It's easily done,
there's a lot to estimate.
368
00:18:53,401 --> 00:18:55,161
And you, you like him?
369
00:18:55,481 --> 00:18:59,281
Yes, I like him. Very, very much.
370
00:18:59,841 --> 00:19:02,281
Go home and canoodle.
Doctor's orders. Come on.
371
00:19:02,441 --> 00:19:03,441
(EXHALING)
372
00:19:03,561 --> 00:19:05,921
just this once, I'm doing what I'm told.
373
00:19:06,001 --> 00:19:07,641
-(CHUCKLING)
- Oh, sing hosanna.
374
00:19:08,121 --> 00:19:10,161
CLARA: (EXHALING) So easy.
375
00:19:20,761 --> 00:19:22,041
Miss Oswald.
376
00:19:22,121 --> 00:19:25,081
- Ah, Mr... Mr Pink.
- Are you still on for tonight?
377
00:19:25,161 --> 00:19:28,241
'Cause you had your
"I'm about to cancel" frown on.
378
00:19:28,681 --> 00:19:29,921
There's a specific frown?
379
00:19:30,001 --> 00:19:33,321
And I was going to say, it's okay,
I might have a thing, so...
380
00:19:33,441 --> 00:19:34,441
A. a thing?
381
00:19:36,001 --> 00:19:37,001
Uh...
382
00:19:37,281 --> 00:19:40,601
- Tomorrow instead?
- Uh, tomorrow's parents' evening.
383
00:19:41,201 --> 00:19:42,721
Not all evening.
384
00:19:43,201 --> 00:19:45,041
No. Not all evening.
385
00:19:47,121 --> 00:19:48,761
What do you think of him?
386
00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:51,481
Uh, who? The, the caretaker?
387
00:19:51,561 --> 00:19:53,441
Where did he come from?
What was he before?
388
00:19:54,481 --> 00:19:56,361
He doesn't seem like a caretaker.
389
00:19:56,561 --> 00:19:58,601
Well, he speaks very highly of you.
390
00:20:03,521 --> 00:20:06,641
Anyway, um, goodnight, Miss Oswald.
391
00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:10,681
Goodnight, Mr Pink.
392
00:20:18,081 --> 00:20:19,441
(SONIC SCREWDRIVER WHIRRING)
393
00:20:19,961 --> 00:20:21,041
And we're off.
394
00:20:24,441 --> 00:20:25,961
(BEEPING)
395
00:20:37,481 --> 00:20:38,481
(BEEPING)
396
00:20:50,361 --> 00:20:51,761
Home sweet home.
397
00:20:53,601 --> 00:20:54,601
(BEEPING)
398
00:20:55,281 --> 00:20:57,441
Canoodling cancelled,
if you need a hand...
399
00:21:00,561 --> 00:21:02,041
Doctor?
400
00:21:02,841 --> 00:21:04,241
You invisible?
401
00:21:05,641 --> 00:21:08,361
(SIGHING)
I am so going to confiscate that watch.
402
00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:12,001
DOCTOR: Where are you,
my sleeping beauty?
403
00:21:15,481 --> 00:21:16,481
(BLITZER POWERING UP)
404
00:21:20,281 --> 00:21:22,161
DOCTOR: Gotcha! Let's dance!
405
00:21:24,081 --> 00:21:25,521
Doctor?
406
00:21:26,841 --> 00:21:28,041
Where are you?
407
00:21:29,721 --> 00:21:30,721
(KNOCKING)
408
00:21:30,961 --> 00:21:31,961
Hello?
409
00:21:33,801 --> 00:21:34,801
(BEEPING)
410
00:21:39,401 --> 00:21:41,801
BLITZER: Nine. Stop query. Rescan.
411
00:21:41,881 --> 00:21:45,201
Target reacquired. Success. Success.
412
00:21:45,841 --> 00:21:47,561
DOCTOR: Come on,
come on, come on.
413
00:21:47,921 --> 00:21:49,401
-(FOOTSTEPS)
- Gangway!
414
00:21:52,601 --> 00:21:54,721
Not far now. Come on.
415
00:21:55,681 --> 00:21:58,401
BLITZER: Nine.
Stop parsing data. Pursue.
416
00:21:58,481 --> 00:21:59,481
DOCTOR: Bingo.
417
00:22:02,561 --> 00:22:04,201
BLITZER: Target reacquired.
418
00:22:06,241 --> 00:22:07,281
Hello?
419
00:22:11,601 --> 00:22:12,601
(RHYTHMIC BEEPING)
420
00:22:13,321 --> 00:22:18,121
What? Red, red, red. No. No, no, no!
421
00:22:18,361 --> 00:22:22,561
BLITZER: Range, 7.49.
Scan complete. Problem. Problem.
422
00:22:22,681 --> 00:22:27,321
Listen. I'm unarmed.
I'm peaceful. Do you understand?
423
00:22:27,961 --> 00:22:30,241
I know that you shouldn't be
on this planet
424
00:22:30,321 --> 00:22:31,561
but I can help you with that. I...
425
00:22:31,641 --> 00:22:33,841
BLITZER: Problem. Solution." destroy.
426
00:22:33,921 --> 00:22:35,001
I want a word with you.
427
00:22:35,201 --> 00:22:37,521
DOCTOR: Get back!
BLITZER: Problem. Solution." destroy.
428
00:22:41,081 --> 00:22:42,801
Go. Get away from me!
429
00:22:42,881 --> 00:22:43,881
(GRUNTING)
430
00:22:47,521 --> 00:22:49,321
BLITZER: Temporal disrupt.
431
00:22:50,561 --> 00:22:53,441
Warning. Warning. Temporal failure.
432
00:22:53,761 --> 00:22:56,361
No, no, no, no. Doctor, stop!
433
00:22:57,561 --> 00:22:58,841
Doctor!
434
00:22:58,921 --> 00:23:02,081
BLITZER: Warning, system failure.
Abort. Abort.
435
00:23:02,201 --> 00:23:03,201
(GRUNTING)
436
00:23:12,561 --> 00:23:17,601
Oh! Oh, well done, PE.
Brilliant work!
437
00:23:19,041 --> 00:23:21,841
"What's this? A chronodyne generator?
438
00:23:21,921 --> 00:23:23,881
"I’ll just deactivate that, shall I?
439
00:23:23,961 --> 00:23:26,681
"I've got a swimming certificate,
so that qualifies me
440
00:23:26,761 --> 00:23:28,161
"to meddle with higher technology.
441
00:23:28,241 --> 00:23:31,401
"Never mind that some people are
actually trying to save the planet.
442
00:23:31,521 --> 00:23:35,641
"Oh, no. There's only room in my head
for cross-country and the offside rule."
443
00:23:36,281 --> 00:23:38,841
- Danny, what are you doing here?
- I was checking up on him.
444
00:23:38,961 --> 00:23:41,801
He's been up to something, fiddling
with the electric, but what the...
445
00:23:44,121 --> 00:23:45,201
No.
446
00:23:45,761 --> 00:23:46,761
What...
447
00:23:47,841 --> 00:23:49,921
Did you see that thing?
Tell me you saw that thing.
448
00:23:50,001 --> 00:23:52,721
I saw the thing, yeah.
Doctor, are we safe, is the planet safe?
449
00:23:52,801 --> 00:23:53,801
IT'S gone?
450
00:23:53,921 --> 00:23:56,521
Yes, yes, yes, yes, for the moment.
But the thing is, you see,
451
00:23:56,601 --> 00:23:59,361
the chronodyne generators
have to be precisely aligned
452
00:23:59,441 --> 00:24:00,721
to generate the vortex,
453
00:24:00,801 --> 00:24:02,641
but the sergeant here,
he went and moved one.
454
00:24:02,721 --> 00:24:04,841
Okay, but the chronodyne worked,
it's gone.
455
00:24:04,921 --> 00:24:06,121
(SONIC SCREWDRIVER WHIRRING)
456
00:24:07,201 --> 00:24:08,441
But not far enough.
457
00:24:09,041 --> 00:24:12,881
The vortex will open here again,
but not in a billion years.
458
00:24:12,961 --> 00:24:14,121
Then when?
459
00:24:14,201 --> 00:24:16,601
Er, 74 hours. Three days.
460
00:24:16,681 --> 00:24:21,521
Three days to think of something new
because now it knows what to expect.
461
00:24:21,601 --> 00:24:26,201
Now it has scanned me
and it will kill me on sight,
462
00:24:26,281 --> 00:24:27,881
thanks to PE here.
463
00:24:29,841 --> 00:24:31,721
Clara, why are you talking
to him like that?
464
00:24:34,161 --> 00:24:37,481
Why are you using words
like "chronodyne"?
465
00:24:38,161 --> 00:24:40,041
Was that thing a space thing?
466
00:24:44,401 --> 00:24:46,601
Oh, my God, you're from space.
467
00:24:50,681 --> 00:24:53,201
You're a spacewoman.
You said you were from Blackpool.
468
00:24:55,961 --> 00:24:59,241
It's a play! For the summer fete.
469
00:24:59,321 --> 00:25:01,001
- It's a what?
- Yes, it's a play.
470
00:25:01,081 --> 00:25:02,841
Shut up, it is a play.
471
00:25:02,921 --> 00:25:06,801
We are rehearsing a play.
(SHUSHING) A surprise play!
472
00:25:06,881 --> 00:25:10,401
And, erm, you see, the vortex thing
is, is a lighting effect.
473
00:25:10,481 --> 00:25:11,481
Very clever.
474
00:25:11,561 --> 00:25:16,041
And that thing is one of the kids.
In fancy dress.
475
00:25:16,121 --> 00:25:17,761
(LAUGHING) Really.
476
00:25:18,361 --> 00:25:20,881
Really, really good fancy dress.
477
00:25:20,961 --> 00:25:22,241
How stupid do you think I am?
478
00:25:22,321 --> 00:25:23,921
I'm willing to put a number on it.
479
00:25:24,321 --> 00:25:26,241
I'm not a moron, Clara.
480
00:25:27,081 --> 00:25:29,041
And he's not the caretaker.
481
00:25:30,841 --> 00:25:33,841
He's...your dad.
482
00:25:34,281 --> 00:25:36,041
Your space dad.
483
00:25:36,601 --> 00:25:39,681
Oh, genius.
484
00:25:39,881 --> 00:25:43,681
That is... That is really,
really brilliant reasoning.
485
00:25:43,801 --> 00:25:45,161
How can you think that I'm her dad
486
00:25:45,241 --> 00:25:46,961
when we both look exactly the same age?
487
00:25:47,041 --> 00:25:48,841
- We do not look the same age.
- I was being kind.
488
00:25:48,921 --> 00:25:50,161
Right, I'm going to hypnotise him,
489
00:25:50,241 --> 00:25:51,441
- I'm going to erase his memory.
- Doctor, stop!
490
00:25:51,521 --> 00:25:52,801
Tiny little brain,
will only take a moment.
491
00:25:52,881 --> 00:25:53,881
He's my boyfriend.
492
00:25:53,961 --> 00:25:56,641
Well, I'll try not to erase the
whole thing. I'll leave the bits that...
493
00:25:56,721 --> 00:25:59,881
He's my boyfriend.
I thought you'd figured this out.
494
00:26:00,721 --> 00:26:01,841
- Him?
- Yes, him.
495
00:26:01,921 --> 00:26:03,641
- No, he's not.
- Yes, he is.
496
00:26:04,241 --> 00:26:06,161
- Yes, I am.
- But he's a PE teacher.
497
00:26:06,241 --> 00:26:07,881
You wouldn't go out with a PE teacher.
498
00:26:08,441 --> 00:26:10,481
It's a mistake.
You've made a boyfriend error.
499
00:26:10,561 --> 00:26:13,121
I am not a PE teacher.
I am a maths teacher!
500
00:26:13,201 --> 00:26:15,081
You're a soldier.
Why would you go out with a soldier?
501
00:26:15,161 --> 00:26:18,161
- Why not get a dog or a big plant?
- Because I love him!
502
00:26:26,441 --> 00:26:29,401
Why would you say that?
Is this part of the surprise play?
503
00:26:29,601 --> 00:26:31,801
(SIGHING) There is no surprise play.
504
00:26:32,161 --> 00:26:35,081
Oh, it's a roller coaster
with you tonight, isn't it?
505
00:26:35,161 --> 00:26:37,041
What about the handsome one,
the one with the bow tie?
506
00:26:37,121 --> 00:26:39,681
Who? Adrian? No, no, no.
He’s just a friend and not my type.
507
00:26:39,761 --> 00:26:41,961
Clara, are you going to
explain any of this?
508
00:26:42,521 --> 00:26:43,881
Who is this guy?
509
00:26:45,481 --> 00:26:46,521
(CHUCKLING)
510
00:26:46,601 --> 00:26:48,561
The Doctor is...
511
00:26:51,081 --> 00:26:53,641
- Go on.
- Yes, explain.
512
00:26:54,201 --> 00:26:56,081
Who is he?
Why have you never mentioned him?
513
00:26:56,161 --> 00:26:59,641
Because...he's an alien.
514
00:27:02,801 --> 00:27:05,601
- DANNY: Are you an alien?
- No, no, no. I'm still from Blackpool.
515
00:27:07,401 --> 00:27:10,441
Me and the Doctor,
we travel through time and space.
516
00:27:10,521 --> 00:27:12,521
DOCTOR: Exhibit A.
517
00:27:13,681 --> 00:27:15,241
It's called a Tardis
518
00:27:15,641 --> 00:27:18,601
but it's disguised
as an old police phone box.
519
00:27:19,161 --> 00:27:20,321
- Huh?
- It's bigger on the inside.
520
00:27:20,401 --> 00:27:22,881
And it's bigger on the inside
than the outside.
521
00:27:25,121 --> 00:27:26,321
Voilà.
522
00:27:28,321 --> 00:27:30,561
CLARA: And we travel the universe in it.
523
00:27:46,721 --> 00:27:48,401
And what about that thing?
Did you bring it here?
524
00:27:48,481 --> 00:27:51,681
No, I'm going to protect you
from that thing.
525
00:27:52,001 --> 00:27:53,441
You said it was coming back.
526
00:27:53,521 --> 00:27:55,721
Yes, it is coming back. Thanks to you.
527
00:27:55,801 --> 00:27:59,481
This is a school.
We have to evacuate, call the Army.
528
00:27:59,561 --> 00:28:02,281
And that is the most dangerous
thing right there.
529
00:28:03,201 --> 00:28:04,681
Are you sure hypnotising
is not on the menu?
530
00:28:04,761 --> 00:28:05,761
Yes.
531
00:28:06,521 --> 00:28:08,761
Well, we need to get help.
This is an emergency.
532
00:28:08,841 --> 00:28:11,281
Look, take him away, shut him up,
shut him down,
533
00:28:11,361 --> 00:28:13,121
up or down, doesn't matter to me.
534
00:28:13,201 --> 00:28:16,241
- I've got a lot of work to do. Again.
- Will you be okay?
535
00:28:16,401 --> 00:28:20,481
Why wouldn't I be okay?
I was fine till you two blundered in.
536
00:28:20,561 --> 00:28:22,001
Am I just being ignored?
537
00:28:22,081 --> 00:28:24,081
Oh, come on, Danny.
It's all right, it's...
538
00:28:24,161 --> 00:28:25,681
Come on, it's all fine.
539
00:28:25,761 --> 00:28:29,281
You'll be okay.
Let's, uh, get those legs moving...
540
00:28:29,361 --> 00:28:31,761
That's it, down those stairs.
Yep, that's it.
541
00:28:31,881 --> 00:28:35,601
This can all be explained
and everything will be fine.
542
00:28:35,681 --> 00:28:39,321
And when this is all over,
you can finish the job.
543
00:28:39,801 --> 00:28:40,841
How do you mean?
544
00:28:40,961 --> 00:28:44,721
Well, you've explained me to him.
You haven't explained him to me.
545
00:28:57,161 --> 00:28:59,161
CLARA: What do you think?
546
00:29:04,521 --> 00:29:05,561
Say something.
547
00:29:09,121 --> 00:29:10,321
So...
548
00:29:12,121 --> 00:29:15,761
there's an alien
that used to look like Adrian.
549
00:29:17,921 --> 00:29:20,601
Hmm... Then he turned
into a Scottish caretaker
550
00:29:20,681 --> 00:29:23,681
and every now and then, when I'm
not looking, you elope with him.
551
00:29:23,761 --> 00:29:25,121
I don't elope.
552
00:29:25,201 --> 00:29:26,601
- Do you love him?
- No.
553
00:29:27,841 --> 00:29:29,601
Really had enough of the lies.
554
00:29:31,801 --> 00:29:34,441
- Not in that way.
- What other way is there?
555
00:29:34,521 --> 00:29:36,481
- You know what I mean.
- I don't know what you mean.
556
00:29:36,561 --> 00:29:39,281
I know what you tell me,
which isn't always the truth.
557
00:29:42,121 --> 00:29:44,121
- Danny:
- Why do you do it?
558
00:29:46,561 --> 00:29:48,641
Why do you fly off in the box with him?
559
00:29:49,881 --> 00:29:52,801
The truth, please, just this once.
560
00:29:57,681 --> 00:29:58,841
Because...
561
00:30:00,641 --> 00:30:01,921
it's amazing.
562
00:30:03,921 --> 00:30:06,921
Because...I see wonders.
563
00:30:09,401 --> 00:30:10,441
Okay.
564
00:30:19,161 --> 00:30:20,241
What are you thinking?
565
00:30:20,641 --> 00:30:21,641
(LAUGHING)
566
00:30:21,881 --> 00:30:23,161
There's a good question.
567
00:30:27,321 --> 00:30:29,641
It's funny, you only really know
what someone thinks of you
568
00:30:29,721 --> 00:30:31,721
when you know what lies
they've told you.
569
00:30:33,001 --> 00:30:37,561
You say you've seen wonders,
you've seen amazing things
570
00:30:37,641 --> 00:30:40,641
and you kept them secret.
571
00:30:41,961 --> 00:30:43,001
From me.
572
00:30:46,201 --> 00:30:48,241
So what do you think of me, Clara?
573
00:30:50,161 --> 00:30:53,561
- Please, tell me how I fix this.
- I just want to know who you are.
574
00:30:53,641 --> 00:30:54,961
You know who I am.
575
00:30:56,241 --> 00:31:01,081
When you're with him.
When you're with the Doctor.
576
00:31:07,161 --> 00:31:08,921
(IN DISTINCT CHATTER)
577
00:31:11,801 --> 00:31:15,041
Okay, I think we've just about got
enough time before parents' evening.
578
00:31:15,241 --> 00:31:18,001
An invisibility watch?
Not even a ring.
579
00:31:18,361 --> 00:31:19,801
Press the button on the side,
you're invisible.
580
00:31:19,881 --> 00:31:22,001
You'll see me with the Doctor,
the other me.
581
00:31:22,081 --> 00:31:25,001
The exactly the same, other me. Okay?
582
00:31:27,641 --> 00:31:28,641
-(BEEPING)
-(CLARA CLEARING THROAT)
583
00:31:32,561 --> 00:31:35,601
Afternoon. Thanks for keeping
out of my way.
584
00:31:36,561 --> 00:31:38,761
You haven't brought Dave with you,
I hope.
585
00:31:39,761 --> 00:31:42,601
His name's Danny. And no, I haven't.
586
00:31:44,041 --> 00:31:47,041
I've, uh, explained it all to him.
He gets it, he took it really well.
587
00:31:47,121 --> 00:31:48,441
Pass me that synestic.
588
00:31:53,721 --> 00:31:56,681
So, when the Blitzer comes back,
are you going to catch him with that?
589
00:31:56,881 --> 00:32:00,641
It'll be a long and fiddly job.
It's going to take me at least 24 hours.
590
00:32:00,721 --> 00:32:03,081
Even longer if people keep talking
to me, so do keep going.
591
00:32:03,161 --> 00:32:05,161
So, if it comes back Thursday night,
are you sure about that?
592
00:32:05,241 --> 00:32:06,441
'Cause you said chronodyne is unstable.
593
00:32:06,521 --> 00:32:08,881
If you want bother someone,
go and bother PE.
594
00:32:10,841 --> 00:32:12,241
He's a maths teacher.
595
00:32:13,121 --> 00:32:15,921
- That's a shame, I like maths.
- Not a soldier.
596
00:32:21,961 --> 00:32:23,801
Interesting.
597
00:32:24,881 --> 00:32:26,121
What is?
598
00:32:26,681 --> 00:32:28,321
I'm bored.
599
00:32:28,401 --> 00:32:30,241
Let's go somewhere fun,
what do you say?
600
00:32:30,361 --> 00:32:33,561
Do you want to see the Thames
frozen over? Oh, those frost fairs!
601
00:32:33,641 --> 00:32:35,121
You can't. The Skovox thing.
602
00:32:35,201 --> 00:32:36,201
It's a time machine.
603
00:32:36,281 --> 00:32:38,441
We can get back straightaway,
like we always do on your dates.
604
00:32:38,521 --> 00:32:41,841
Just make sure you don't get yourself
a tan or anything, or lose a limb.
605
00:32:41,921 --> 00:32:43,201
I don't think we should, not this time.
606
00:32:43,281 --> 00:32:45,961
You've never said no before.
Not even in the middle of dinner.
607
00:32:46,041 --> 00:32:47,801
Remember you had to eat
two meals in a row?
608
00:32:47,881 --> 00:32:50,721
I just think,
with the school in danger...
609
00:32:50,801 --> 00:32:51,801
(BEEPING)
610
00:32:51,961 --> 00:32:53,921
- Danny! Why are you...
- He already knows I'm here.
611
00:32:54,001 --> 00:32:56,441
That's why he's talking like that.
He's being clever.
612
00:32:57,641 --> 00:32:59,401
Now you mentioned it, being a Time Lord,
613
00:32:59,481 --> 00:33:02,601
I can feel a light-shield aura
when it's right next to me.
614
00:33:02,681 --> 00:33:05,441
Time Lord! Might have known.
615
00:33:05,521 --> 00:33:07,481
Might have known what?
616
00:33:07,561 --> 00:33:10,081
Well, the accent's good but you can
always spot the aristocracy.
617
00:33:10,161 --> 00:33:13,241
- It's in their... The attitude?
- Danny!
618
00:33:13,401 --> 00:33:15,481
Now, um, Time Lords,
do you salute those?
619
00:33:15,561 --> 00:33:17,721
- Definitely not.
-(SCOFFS) Sir!
620
00:33:18,281 --> 00:33:19,761
And you do not call me sir.
621
00:33:19,841 --> 00:33:21,961
As you wish, sir! Absolutely, sir!
622
00:33:22,281 --> 00:33:25,801
- And you can get out of my Tardis!
- Immediately, sir.
623
00:33:25,881 --> 00:33:27,841
Doctor, this is stupid, this is unfair!
624
00:33:27,921 --> 00:33:32,041
One thing, Clara. I'm a soldier,
guilty as charged. You see him?
625
00:33:32,121 --> 00:33:33,761
- He's an officer.
- I am not an officer!
626
00:33:33,841 --> 00:33:36,081
I'm the one who
carries you out of the fire.
627
00:33:36,161 --> 00:33:37,961
- He's the one who lights it.
- Out. Now.
628
00:33:38,041 --> 00:33:39,601
- Right away, sir? Straight now?
- Yes.
629
00:33:39,681 --> 00:33:42,121
- Am I dismissed?
-(SHOUTING) Yes, you are!
630
00:33:43,841 --> 00:33:44,841
That's him.
631
00:33:45,321 --> 00:33:46,881
Look at him right now.
632
00:33:47,401 --> 00:33:48,721
That's who he is.
633
00:33:54,641 --> 00:33:56,801
On balance,
I think that went quite well.
634
00:34:06,281 --> 00:34:08,801
Danny, it's not time to go home yet.
635
00:34:08,881 --> 00:34:10,641
It's parents' evening.
636
00:34:14,161 --> 00:34:15,441
Humans.
637
00:34:16,081 --> 00:34:17,801
I never learn.
638
00:34:18,121 --> 00:34:19,521
COURTNEY: What's in the box?
639
00:34:21,841 --> 00:34:23,841
It's not really a policeman, is it?
640
00:34:27,321 --> 00:34:31,361
You want to know what's in that box?
I'll tell you what's in that box.
641
00:34:32,161 --> 00:34:33,801
It's a time machine.
642
00:34:34,041 --> 00:34:36,241
It also travels in space
643
00:34:36,321 --> 00:34:39,561
and it usually contains a man
who just wants to get on with his work
644
00:34:39,641 --> 00:34:42,521
of preventing the end of the world
645
00:34:42,601 --> 00:34:45,641
but keeps being interrupted
by boring little humans.
646
00:34:46,201 --> 00:34:49,361
Cool. So, that's really a spaceship?
647
00:34:50,801 --> 00:34:53,161
I'm serious,
I'm trying to save this planet.
648
00:34:53,241 --> 00:34:56,761
End of the world for me tonight,
whatever you do. Parents' evening.
649
00:34:56,841 --> 00:34:59,041
Is your name really
Disruptive Influence?
650
00:34:59,561 --> 00:35:02,641
Courtney Woods. Can I go in space?
651
00:35:02,881 --> 00:35:05,441
I'll let you know.
I may have a vacancy.
652
00:35:05,601 --> 00:35:07,281
But not right now.
653
00:35:10,521 --> 00:35:13,481
Two days. I can do it.
654
00:35:15,521 --> 00:35:16,521
(IN DISTINCT CHATTER)
655
00:35:19,361 --> 00:35:24,201
Rights, are we quorate?
Time to admit the hordes.
656
00:35:24,281 --> 00:35:26,601
And look who's
at the front of the queue.
657
00:35:26,681 --> 00:35:28,761
- Who are they?
- CLARA: Courtney Woods' mum and dad.
658
00:35:28,841 --> 00:35:29,841
Can someone else do them first?
659
00:35:29,921 --> 00:35:31,601
No problem, Ade.
I can cope with anything tonight.
660
00:35:31,681 --> 00:35:33,281
Oh, happy days!
661
00:35:41,521 --> 00:35:42,521
(RUMBLING)
662
00:35:51,441 --> 00:35:52,441
(BEEPING)
663
00:35:59,961 --> 00:36:00,961
(RHYTHMIC BEEPING)
664
00:36:08,601 --> 00:36:12,281
No, no, no. No, no, no, no!
665
00:36:12,361 --> 00:36:16,401
I would say yes, I'm afraid Courtney
is a disruptive influence.
666
00:36:16,481 --> 00:36:19,481
Yeah, but last year you said
she was a very disruptive influence.
667
00:36:19,561 --> 00:36:22,281
So, I suppose that counts
as an improvement.
668
00:36:26,001 --> 00:36:27,001
(CLEARING THROAT)
669
00:36:30,521 --> 00:36:33,481
DANNY: Excuse me, I think
the caretaker wants me.
670
00:36:33,561 --> 00:36:36,761
Sorry, Mrs Christopholou,
I think the caretaker wants me, too.
671
00:36:36,841 --> 00:36:38,081
What about my Angelina?
672
00:36:38,161 --> 00:36:40,361
Yeah, she's great, yeah,
a really great girl, A-plus,
673
00:36:40,441 --> 00:36:42,801
ten out of ten,
top of the class. Sorry.
674
00:36:43,681 --> 00:36:46,561
Although, actually,
handwriting could be better.
675
00:36:51,121 --> 00:36:52,961
I'm sure they'll be back in a moment.
676
00:36:53,081 --> 00:36:55,481
Looks like our Courtney
was right about those two.
677
00:36:56,081 --> 00:36:58,641
- What's happening?
- Clara, the vortex is opening.
678
00:36:58,721 --> 00:37:00,601
You said Thursday night.
Right, hall, quick.
679
00:37:00,681 --> 00:37:02,081
PE, shut up.
680
00:37:02,321 --> 00:37:03,961
Clara, it'll scan the area,
681
00:37:04,041 --> 00:37:05,841
if it gets to parents' evening,
it'll kill them all.
682
00:37:05,921 --> 00:37:08,321
- We've got to evacuate.
-(SHOUTING) Shut up!
683
00:37:08,401 --> 00:37:09,881
Quickly. What do I do?
684
00:37:11,961 --> 00:37:14,001
It'll be here any second.
Get to the hall.
685
00:37:14,121 --> 00:37:16,961
Give it some squirts of
helicon energy, setting number 41,
686
00:37:17,041 --> 00:37:19,321
no more than three seconds each,
random pulses.
687
00:37:19,401 --> 00:37:22,281
Distract it, then you lead it away
from the hall, give me two minutes.
688
00:37:22,361 --> 00:37:24,281
- Then what?
-just run straight to the Tardis.
689
00:37:24,361 --> 00:37:26,761
But your gadget isn't ready yet.
Twenty-four hours, you said.
690
00:37:26,841 --> 00:37:30,081
Yes, well, I've revised that down to
two minutes. Probably. Clara, go.
691
00:37:30,161 --> 00:37:32,001
- On my way.
- You're using her like a decoy?
692
00:37:32,081 --> 00:37:34,321
No, not like a decoy. As a decoy.
693
00:37:34,441 --> 00:37:36,761
Don't they teach you anything
at stupid school?
694
00:37:37,121 --> 00:37:38,801
Well, is there anything I can do?
695
00:37:38,881 --> 00:37:41,601
Yes. Yes, and this is very,
very important.
696
00:37:41,681 --> 00:37:42,841
Leave us alone!
697
00:37:47,561 --> 00:37:50,961
BLITZER: Disrupt temporal lock.
Disengage scan.
698
00:37:51,041 --> 00:37:52,041
Here we go.
699
00:37:52,161 --> 00:37:54,201
-(LOUD RUMBLING)
-(SONIC SCREWDRIVER WHIRRING)
700
00:37:56,121 --> 00:38:01,161
BLITZER: Incoming, stop. Identified,
helicon. Helicon. Commence retargeting.
701
00:38:05,241 --> 00:38:07,841
BLITZER: Target acquired. Destroy.
702
00:38:13,801 --> 00:38:15,321
Target within range.
703
00:38:17,521 --> 00:38:20,841
Problem. Solution: destroy.
704
00:38:20,921 --> 00:38:21,921
(EXPLOSION)
705
00:38:23,321 --> 00:38:26,441
- Destroy. Destroy.
-Doctor, now, it's got to be now!
706
00:38:26,521 --> 00:38:27,641
Twenty seconds.
707
00:38:27,721 --> 00:38:29,081
Destroy. Destroy.
708
00:38:29,521 --> 00:38:30,601
Doctor!
709
00:38:33,521 --> 00:38:34,521
(SCREAMING)
710
00:38:37,161 --> 00:38:39,041
- Am I green? Am I green?
- You're green!
711
00:38:39,121 --> 00:38:40,841
Stop! Skovox Blitzer!
712
00:38:40,921 --> 00:38:41,921
Awaiting orders.
713
00:38:42,001 --> 00:38:45,961
Superior Skovox Artificer.
Analyse, stop. Analyse, stop.
714
00:38:46,041 --> 00:38:51,241
BLITZER: Superior recognised.
Pattern, 1-1-0. Orders. Orders.
715
00:38:51,881 --> 00:38:53,161
Why's it listening to you?
716
00:38:53,241 --> 00:38:55,921
Listening to its superior.
This is a rough copy.
717
00:38:56,001 --> 00:38:57,001
It thinks I'm its general.
718
00:38:57,081 --> 00:39:00,201
Initiate input.
Commence shutdown protocol.
719
00:39:00,561 --> 00:39:02,361
No conflict. Conclusion?
720
00:39:02,961 --> 00:39:04,681
BLITZER: Problem. Solution.
721
00:39:06,081 --> 00:39:07,081
Conclusion?
722
00:39:07,201 --> 00:39:10,041
BLITZER: Final input code missing.
Emergency terminate.
723
00:39:10,121 --> 00:39:12,561
Initiate self-destruct in nine, eight...
724
00:39:12,641 --> 00:39:14,601
The input code.
I forgot the final input code!
725
00:39:14,681 --> 00:39:15,961
BLITZER: ...seven, six, five...
726
00:39:16,081 --> 00:39:18,201
CLARA: Do it now!
DOCTOR: I need time. Distract it, Clara!
727
00:39:18,281 --> 00:39:20,401
CLARA: Me? What can I do?
BLITZER: ---three, two, one.
728
00:39:20,481 --> 00:39:22,481
DANNY: Oi, Skovox, over here.
729
00:39:22,561 --> 00:39:23,561
(BEEPING)
730
00:39:24,081 --> 00:39:25,881
BLITZER: Under attack.
731
00:39:29,881 --> 00:39:30,881
(GLASS SHATTERING)
732
00:39:30,961 --> 00:39:36,681
Artificer. Artificer. Stop. Confirm.
Override final input code.
733
00:39:36,761 --> 00:39:39,641
BLITZER: Code accepted.
Abort self-destruct.
734
00:39:40,881 --> 00:39:44,321
Orders accepted. Stop. Stop. Stop.
735
00:39:46,001 --> 00:39:49,001
(CHUCKLING) Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, you were amazing!
736
00:39:49,081 --> 00:39:51,121
Oh, my God, you were so brilliant!
737
00:39:51,201 --> 00:39:53,841
Well, yeah, I was okay,
wasn't I? (CHUCKLING)
738
00:39:54,321 --> 00:39:57,121
I was behind you every step of the way.
739
00:39:57,441 --> 00:39:59,441
Had to make sure you were safe.
740
00:40:00,521 --> 00:40:01,561
You okay?
741
00:40:03,601 --> 00:40:04,641
Okay.
742
00:40:06,361 --> 00:40:07,641
Just Okay?
743
00:40:08,801 --> 00:40:10,401
DANNY: It's all right,
it doesn't matter.
744
00:40:10,481 --> 00:40:12,601
I don't need him to like me.
745
00:40:12,761 --> 00:40:15,201
It doesn't matter
if he likes me or hates me.
746
00:40:15,281 --> 00:40:18,281
I just need to do
exactly one thing for you.
747
00:40:18,521 --> 00:40:21,521
Doctor, am I right?
748
00:40:24,001 --> 00:40:25,081
Yes.
749
00:40:25,801 --> 00:40:27,761
What? What one thing?
750
00:40:28,881 --> 00:40:30,601
I need to be good enough for you.
751
00:40:31,321 --> 00:40:34,041
That's why he's angry.
just in case I'm not.
752
00:40:40,921 --> 00:40:43,921
He, uh...
He did just save the whole world.
753
00:40:45,521 --> 00:40:47,121
DOCTOR: Yeah, yeah.
754
00:40:49,281 --> 00:40:50,321
Good start.
755
00:40:55,081 --> 00:40:58,081
Farewell, Skovox Blitzer.
Have a nice war.
756
00:40:58,201 --> 00:41:01,401
So, Courtney Woods, impressed yet?
757
00:41:02,561 --> 00:41:05,441
Actually, I'm feeling a bit ill.
758
00:41:05,521 --> 00:41:07,801
Ah, it can be a bit overwhelming.
759
00:41:08,241 --> 00:41:11,921
But look, the Olveron Cluster.
760
00:41:12,601 --> 00:41:17,361
A million stars,
100 million inhabited planets.
761
00:41:17,881 --> 00:41:18,881
(RETCHING)
762
00:41:21,441 --> 00:41:22,921
(VOMITING)
763
00:41:23,361 --> 00:41:26,601
Ah, yes, there has been a spillage.
764
00:41:31,401 --> 00:41:33,161
(CHATTER ON TELEVISION)
765
00:41:34,121 --> 00:41:36,041
So what do you think of him now?
766
00:41:36,761 --> 00:41:38,361
- Of the Doctor?
- Yeah.
767
00:41:39,521 --> 00:41:42,001
See, he's all right, isn't he, really?
Underneath it all.
768
00:41:46,961 --> 00:41:47,961
(TURNING TELEVISION OFF)
769
00:41:48,601 --> 00:41:49,641
Okay.
770
00:41:49,801 --> 00:41:51,121
Tell me what you're thinking.
771
00:41:53,921 --> 00:41:55,241
I know men like him.
772
00:41:55,601 --> 00:41:57,121
I've served under them.
773
00:41:58,041 --> 00:42:01,961
They push you and make you stronger,
774
00:42:02,561 --> 00:42:05,201
till you're doing things
you never thought you could.
775
00:42:05,641 --> 00:42:09,041
I saw you tonight,
you did exactly what he told you.
776
00:42:09,161 --> 00:42:10,761
You weren't even scared.
777
00:42:13,121 --> 00:42:14,281
And you should have been.
778
00:42:16,721 --> 00:42:20,121
I trust him. He has never let me down.
779
00:42:24,041 --> 00:42:25,561
Fine.
780
00:42:27,601 --> 00:42:30,721
If he ever pushes you too far,
I want you to tell me
781
00:42:30,801 --> 00:42:32,201
because I know what that's like.
782
00:42:33,841 --> 00:42:36,961
- You'll tell me if that happens, yeah?
- Yeah, it's a deal.
783
00:42:37,041 --> 00:42:40,041
- No. It's a promise.
- Okay, I promise.
784
00:42:41,881 --> 00:42:44,161
And if you break that promise, Clara,
we're finished.
785
00:42:44,241 --> 00:42:45,241
Don't say that.
786
00:42:45,321 --> 00:42:48,721
I am saying it because
if you don't tell me the truth,
787
00:42:48,801 --> 00:42:53,161
I can't help you and I could never
stand not being able to help you.
788
00:42:54,201 --> 00:42:55,241
Are we clear?
789
00:42:56,561 --> 00:42:59,241
Yes. We're clear.
790
00:43:04,761 --> 00:43:06,241
(TURNING TELEVISION ON)
791
00:43:12,881 --> 00:43:16,321
It was mad, it was like in a film
or on the telly,
792
00:43:16,401 --> 00:43:19,001
like with science fiction guns.
793
00:43:19,121 --> 00:43:22,121
Skovox Blitzer, sounds like.
We've had a few in from that.
794
00:43:22,201 --> 00:43:24,281
- Wouldn't feel too bad.
-If I hadn't...
795
00:43:26,361 --> 00:43:28,281
If I hadn't...
796
00:43:29,241 --> 00:43:33,201
Hang on. That doesn't make sense.
797
00:43:34,161 --> 00:43:35,441
Makes perfect sense to me.
798
00:43:35,561 --> 00:43:40,121
How did I escape?
I don't remember how I got away.
799
00:43:40,201 --> 00:43:44,841
Well, I was coming to that.
I'm afraid you really rather didn't.
800
00:43:49,601 --> 00:43:50,601
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
801
00:43:51,441 --> 00:43:53,041
Then how did I get here?
802
00:43:53,161 --> 00:43:55,441
Well, big question.
803
00:43:55,521 --> 00:43:56,601
Where am I?
804
00:43:56,721 --> 00:43:59,281
What name would you like?
There's a range. The afterlife.
805
00:43:59,361 --> 00:44:02,081
The Promised Land.
I'm partialto the Nethersphere.
806
00:44:06,721 --> 00:44:08,721
MY God!
807
00:44:16,921 --> 00:44:19,561
Sorry, she's a bit, uh, busy today.
808
00:44:20,841 --> 00:44:23,841
So, any questions?
809
00:44:26,361 --> 00:44:29,281
CLARA: Hello, Earth.
We have a terrible decision to make.
810
00:44:29,361 --> 00:44:32,481
An innocent life versus
the future of all mankind.
811
00:44:32,921 --> 00:44:34,921
DOCTOR: Whatever future
humanity might have
812
00:44:35,001 --> 00:44:38,201
depends upon the choice that is made
right here, right now.
813
00:44:38,561 --> 00:44:40,361
-(DOCTOR SCREAMING)
-(ALIEN SCREECHING)
814
00:44:41,681 --> 00:44:42,681
(BEEPING)
815
00:44:43,361 --> 00:44:44,561
Decision made.
816
00:44:44,801 --> 00:44:46,041
(SCREECHING)