1 00:00:06,339 --> 00:00:09,075 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:09,075 --> 00:00:13,747 SRT THE CLOCK. 3 00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:44,711 ♪ ♪ 4 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:47,313 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 5 00:00:47,313 --> 00:00:50,717 Bill: HEY, EVERYBODY, 6 00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:51,050 THANK YOU. 7 00:00:51,050 --> 00:00:53,186 APPRECIATE IT, THANK YOU VERY 8 00:00:53,186 --> 00:00:55,155 MUCH. 9 00:00:55,155 --> 00:00:57,690 HOW ARE YOU DOING? 10 00:00:57,690 --> 00:00:58,458 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 11 00:00:58,458 --> 00:01:01,060 I APPRECIATE IT, THANK YOU, 12 00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:01,628 PEOPLE. 13 00:01:01,628 --> 00:01:07,200 I APPRECIATE IT, HAPPY SPRING. 14 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:08,101 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 15 00:01:08,101 --> 00:01:10,069 PLEASE, THERE'S SO MUCH NEWS TO 16 00:01:10,069 --> 00:01:10,637 GET TO. 17 00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:13,740 I LOVE YOUR LOVE BUT THERE'S SO 18 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:15,241 MUCH NEWS. 19 00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:16,443 BETWEEN MARCH MADNESS BRACKETS 20 00:01:16,443 --> 00:01:17,310 AND THE STORMY DANIELS, WHAT A 21 00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:21,714 WEEK FOR BIG BUSTS. 22 00:01:21,714 --> 00:01:21,981 [LAUGHTER] 23 00:01:21,981 --> 00:01:23,249 [APPLAUSE] 24 00:01:23,249 --> 00:01:24,350 ALL WEEK, EVERYONE HAS BEEN ON 25 00:01:24,350 --> 00:01:25,452 PINS AND NEEDLES BECAUSE WE 26 00:01:25,452 --> 00:01:27,854 THOUGHT THE WORD WAS GOING TO 27 00:01:27,854 --> 00:01:29,489 COME DOWN THAT T GOING 28 00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:30,657 TO BE INDICTED AND ARRESTED, 29 00:01:30,657 --> 00:01:33,626 IT'S TRUE, HE MAY BE INDICTED IN 30 00:01:33,626 --> 00:01:34,427 A CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION AND 31 00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:35,829 EVERYONE IN THIS COUNTRY SAID 32 00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:39,432 THE SAME THING-- WHICH ONE? 33 00:01:39,432 --> 00:01:43,536 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 34 00:01:43,536 --> 00:01:44,537 THE ONEITH 35 00:01:44,537 --> 00:01:47,040 STORMY DANIELS. 36 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,508 [LAUGHTER] 37 00:01:48,508 --> 00:01:50,243 TRUMP THE FIRST GUY EVER TO PAY 38 00:01:50,243 --> 00:01:54,080 A PORN STAR TO SHUT HE MOUTH. 39 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:54,514 [LAUGH 40 00:01:54,514 --> 00:02:00,854 [APPLAUSE] 41 00:02:00,854 --> 00:02:02,856 SO NOW BECAUSE THIS IS ALL 42 00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:03,456 ANYBODY IS THINKING ABOUT A LOT 43 00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:04,791 OF THESE DEEPFAKES, THEY CAN 44 00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:08,061 MAKE ANYTHING LOOK LIKE ANYTHING 45 00:02:08,061 --> 00:02:08,561 HAVE BEEN GOING VIRAL. 46 00:02:08,561 --> 00:02:11,698 LOOK AT THIS ONE. 47 00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:14,300 LE LOOKING AT THIS. 48 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:15,735 [LAUGHTER] 49 00:02:15,735 --> 00:02:17,504 YOU CAN TELL THIS IS FAKE 50 00:02:17,504 --> 00:02:21,040 BECAUSE TRUMP IS RUNNING. 51 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:21,741 [LAUGHTER] 52 00:02:21,741 --> 00:02:25,278 [APPLAUSE] 53 00:02:25,278 --> 00:02:32,151 I SAW ONE OF-- YOU CAN TELL 54 00:02:32,151 --> 00:02:34,988 THIS IS FAKE BECAUSE SHE'S UPSE 55 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,857 UPSET. 56 00:02:37,857 --> 00:02:38,124 [LAUGHTER] 57 00:02:38,124 --> 00:02:42,896 HIS CROWD IS ROUSED UP ABOUT 58 00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:45,632 THIS, IT COULD GET VIOLENT. 59 00:02:45,632 --> 00:02:46,799 HE CALLED FOR CALM-- I'M 60 00:02:46,799 --> 00:02:49,302 ING OF COURSE. 61 00:02:49,302 --> 00:02:49,569 [LAUGHTER] 62 00:02:49,569 --> 00:02:52,038 HE M WORSE. 63 00:02:52,038 --> 00:02:56,409 HE POSTED IF HE GETS ARRESTED OR 64 00:02:56,409 --> 00:02:58,177 CHARGED, HE WARNED OF POTENTIAL 65 00:02:58,177 --> 00:03:00,446 DEATH AND DESTRUCTION. 66 00:03:00,446 --> 00:03:02,582 [LAUGHTER] 67 00:03:02,582 --> 00:03:04,083 THAT WOULD BE CATASTROPHIC FOR 68 00:03:04,083 --> 00:03:04,450 OUR CO 69 00:03:04,450 --> 00:03:07,921 WHAT IS KNOWN AS ANLED 70 00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:08,655 THREAT TO. 71 00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:10,390 IT MAKES YOU MISS THOSE INNOCENT 72 00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:13,026 WHEN HE JUST UNDERMINED 73 00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:13,593 FAITH IN OUR ELECTIONS, YOU 74 00:03:13,593 --> 00:03:15,862 KNOW? 75 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,630 [LAUGHTER] 76 00:03:17,630 --> 00:03:18,498 BUT STORMY, POOR STORMIE IS 77 00:03:18,498 --> 00:03:19,866 CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS AND 78 00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:23,136 SHE IS GETTING THREATS, FROM 79 00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:26,306 TRUMP CRAZY PEOPLE. 80 00:03:26,306 --> 00:03:30,677 IF THEY ARE MAD ABOUT STORMY 81 00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:32,779 OUT THIS, WAIT UNTIL THEY FIND 82 00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:36,282 OUT WHAT DEBBIE DID TO DALLAS. 83 00:03:36,282 --> 00:03:36,549 [LAUGHTER] 84 00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:37,250 [APPLAUSE] 85 00:03:37,250 --> 00:03:38,451 I THINK THE PERSON WHO'S REALLY 86 00:03:38,451 --> 00:03:41,621 LAUGHING ABOUT ALL OF THIS IS 87 00:03:41,621 --> 00:03:41,854 HILLARY. 88 00:03:41,854 --> 00:03:42,388 [LAUGHTER] 89 00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:43,222 SHE'S HOME GOING WHO'S GETTING 90 00:03:43,222 --> 00:03:50,063 LOCKED UP NOW, BITCH? 91 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,598 [LAUGHTER] 92 00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:52,832 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 93 00:03:52,832 --> 00:03:54,033 THAT IS NOT THE ONLY TRIAL THAT 94 00:03:54,033 --> 00:03:55,368 IS GOING ON THIS WEEK. 95 00:03:55,368 --> 00:04:00,306 ANOTHER VERY IMPORTANT TRIAL-- 96 00:04:00,306 --> 00:04:01,674 I COULD ONLY DESCRIBE THIS AS 97 00:04:01,674 --> 00:04:07,180 PEAK CAUCASIAN. 98 00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:10,917 GWYNETH PALTROW IS IN COURT IN 99 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:13,653 FOR A SKIING ACCIDENT. 100 00:04:13,653 --> 00:04:14,320 [LAUGHTER] 101 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:18,358 HOW DO YOU MAKE THAT WHITER? 102 00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:19,325 [LAUGHTER] 103 00:04:19,325 --> 00:04:25,999 [APPLAUSE] 104 00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:27,500 IT'S THE ONLY TRIAL I'VE EVER 105 00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:30,803 SEEN WHERE THE DEFENDANT'S 106 00:04:30,803 --> 00:04:31,371 LAWYER ASKED THE JUDGE FOR A 107 00:04:31,371 --> 00:04:37,276 RECESS SO HIS CLIENT COULD STEAM 108 00:04:37,276 --> 00:04:38,244 HER FOR CHINA. 109 00:04:38,244 --> 00:04:38,511 [LAUGHTER] 110 00:04:38,511 --> 00:04:40,246 [APPLAUSE] 111 00:04:40,246 --> 00:04:44,350 AND FINALLY, RESEARCHERS AT 112 00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:45,585 HUMBOLDT-- HUMBOLDT UNIVERSITY 113 00:04:45,585 --> 00:04:47,220 HAVE COME UP WITH THIS 114 00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:48,655 CONCLUSION, THEY SAY IT'S EIR 115 00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:49,422 CONCLUSION THAT DRUGS AND 116 00:04:49,422 --> 00:04:51,624 ALCOHOL DO NOT MAKE YOU MORE 117 00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:54,127 CREATIVE. 118 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:56,329 OH, SHIT. 119 00:04:56,329 --> 00:04:56,596 [LAUGHTER] 120 00:04:56,596 --> 00:05:00,266 [APPLAUS 121 00:05:00,266 --> 00:05:02,268 THAT MAY BE TRUE BUT AT TWO IN 122 00:05:02,268 --> 00:05:05,238 THE MORNING WHO WOULD YOU RATHER 123 00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:06,172 LISTEN TO RESEARCHERS AT 124 00:05:06,172 --> 00:05:07,740 HUMBOLDT UNIVERSITY OR 125 00:05:07,740 --> 00:05:08,975 PINK FLOYD? 126 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:09,442 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 127 00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:10,043 OKAY, WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW, 128 00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:10,743 SCOTT GALLOWAY AND ANNIE LOWREY 129 00:05:10,743 --> 00:05:11,277 ARE HERE, BUT FIRST. 130 00:05:11,277 --> 00:05:18,418 HE'S THE BEST-SELLING AUTHOR A 131 00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:20,720 HUMOROUS TWOS 42 CITY TOUR KICKS 132 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:21,688 OFF AT THE END OF THE MONTH. 133 00:05:21,688 --> 00:05:25,124 DAVID SEDARIS. 134 00:05:25,124 --> 00:05:29,062 LOOK AT YOU GOTN. 135 00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:31,798 I HAVE IT SHORTS THE KNEE 136 00:05:31,798 --> 00:05:32,065 SOCKS. 137 00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:33,099 Bill: KIND OF A 138 00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:36,636 HARRY STYLES THING YOU'RE DOING. 139 00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:37,970 IS OR SOMETHING YOU WANTLL 140 00:05:37,970 --> 00:05:38,271 US? 141 00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:39,839 I LOOK GOOD TO. 142 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:41,174 Bill: WE'VE NEVER HAD 143 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:45,078 ANYONE TRANSITION ON THE SHOW. 144 00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:46,913 ION'T THINK I'VE EVER 145 00:05:46,913 --> 00:05:48,681 MISSED YOUR SHOW BUT I'VE NEVER 146 00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:51,084 WATCHED IT, I'VE LISTENED TO THE 147 00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,251 PODCAST. 148 00:05:52,251 --> 00:05:54,420 Bill: I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE 149 00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:55,188 SAYING. 150 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:56,155 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THE SET 151 00:05:56,155 --> 00:05:59,025 LOOKED LIKE. 152 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:03,429 Bill: OR ME.ULD'VE BEEN WEAR. 153 00:06:03,429 --> 00:06:04,997 [LAUGHTER] 154 00:06:04,997 --> 00:06:07,400 I LOOK GOOD TO. 155 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:10,136 Bill: YOU DO LOOK GOOD! 156 00:06:10,136 --> 00:06:10,603 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 157 00:06:10,603 --> 00:06:14,874 [APPLAUSE] 158 00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:16,008 YOU'RE A HUMORIST, I THINK IS 159 00:06:16,008 --> 00:06:20,012 E WORD. 160 00:06:20,012 --> 00:06:21,647 [LAUGHTER] 161 00:06:21,647 --> 00:06:22,982 I HOPE YOU TAKE THIS AS THE 162 00:06:22,982 --> 00:06:24,383 ULTIMATE COMPLIMENT, AS A 163 00:06:24,383 --> 00:06:26,986 COMEDIAN WHEN WE HEAR "HUMORIST" 164 00:06:26,986 --> 00:06:28,187 WE THINK ONE THING. 165 00:06:28,187 --> 00:06:31,057 YOU ARE A HUMORIST WHO IS 166 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:31,724 ACTUALLY FUNNY. 167 00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:33,326 THAT'S NICE OF YOU. 168 00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:37,830 Bill: LIKE LOL FUNNY. 169 00:06:37,830 --> 00:06:39,565 IT'S VERY RARE YOU CAN GATHER A 170 00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:43,002 BIG CROWD TO WATCH A GUY READ. 171 00:06:43,002 --> 00:06:46,205 IS THE LAZIEST FORM OF SHOW 172 00:06:46,205 --> 00:06:47,440 BUSINESS, BUT I NEVER WANTED TO 173 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:48,608 DO MORE. 174 00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:50,309 I NEVER WANTED TO MEMORIZE IT OR 175 00:06:50,309 --> 00:06:51,944 ACTED OUT, I JUST WANTED TO 176 00:06:51,944 --> 00:06:54,413 STAND UP, GET DRESSED UP AND 177 00:06:54,413 --> 00:06:56,482 STAND UP AND READ AND THAT WAS 178 00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:56,849 ENOUGH FOR ME. 179 00:06:56,849 --> 00:06:58,251 Bill: YOU'RE ALSO A BALL Z 180 00:06:58,251 --> 00:06:59,519 GUY, YOU'RE NOT AFRAID TO GET 181 00:06:59,519 --> 00:07:02,255 GROANED AT. 182 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,056 I THINK WE HAVE THAT IN COMMON. 183 00:07:04,056 --> 00:07:05,057 I DON'T LIKE IT BUT I'M NOT 184 00:07:05,057 --> 00:07:06,359 GOING TO BEND THE KNEE AND SAY 185 00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:07,693 SOMETHING JUST BECAUSE I KNOW 186 00:07:07,693 --> 00:07:08,728 THE AUDIENCE WANTS TO HEAR IT IF 187 00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:09,962 I DON'T THINK IT'S TRUE WHAT I 188 00:07:09,962 --> 00:07:13,466 THINK YOU'RE THE SAME WAY. 189 00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:16,803 I HAVE A MEDLEY OF RESPONSES, 190 00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:19,138 I DON'T THINK GROANED FITS IN. 191 00:07:19,138 --> 00:07:22,842 THERE'S A RELUCTANT LAUGH AND A 192 00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:25,244 BELLY LAUGH BUT I THINK A GROAN 193 00:07:25,244 --> 00:07:26,212 OKAY. 194 00:07:26,212 --> 00:07:28,548 I'M NOT BIG ON A HISS-- USU 195 00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:31,450 YOU GET A HISS SOMEWHERE IF YOU 196 00:07:31,450 --> 00:07:33,753 SAY SOMETHING ABOUT 197 00:07:33,753 --> 00:07:35,221 DONALD TRUMP-- THEY WANT 198 00:07:35,221 --> 00:07:38,357 EVERYONE AROUND THEMO KNOW 199 00:07:38,357 --> 00:07:39,592 THEY DON'T LIKE-- THAT'S 200 00:07:39,592 --> 00:07:40,326 TIRESOME. 201 00:07:40,326 --> 00:07:42,395 Bill: THAT'S CALLED VIRTUE 202 00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:43,830 SIGNALING. 203 00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:46,332 I SAW YOU WERE AT OBERLIN 204 00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:46,899 COLLEGE RECENTLY AND SOMEONE 205 00:07:46,899 --> 00:07:49,235 RUSHED THE STAGE? 206 00:07:49,235 --> 00:07:50,703 I GAVE A COMMENCEMENT 207 00:07:50,703 --> 00:07:52,004 ADDRESS, THEY ARE HARD TO DO 208 00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:54,006 BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO BE HOPEFUL 209 00:07:54,006 --> 00:07:56,075 AND YOU HAVE TO OFFER ADVICE-- 210 00:07:56,075 --> 00:07:56,976 I TRIED TO THINK WHAT DO I KNOW, 211 00:07:56,976 --> 00:08:00,246 WHAT DO I REALLY KNOW? 212 00:08:00,246 --> 00:08:01,447 I MADE A LIST AND I DON'T KNOW 213 00:08:01,447 --> 00:08:04,183 THAT MANY THINGS. 214 00:08:04,183 --> 00:08:06,452 I DO KNOW THAT YOU SHOULD ALWAYS 215 00:08:06,452 --> 00:08:07,353 KEEP A JOKE TUCKED INTO YOUR 216 00:08:07,353 --> 00:08:14,026 BACK POCKE OFFERED A JOKE. 217 00:08:14,026 --> 00:08:15,895 THE FATHER OF THE ONE 218 00:08:15,895 --> 00:08:16,495 CONSERVATIVE STUDENT WHO EVER 219 00:08:16,495 --> 00:08:19,832 WENT TO THAT SCHOOL RUSHED THE 220 00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:20,900 STAGE AND TRY TO GET AT ME AND 221 00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:23,069 THEY WERE HOLDING HIM BACK-- 222 00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:27,874 AND HE WAS, OVER A JOKE I NEVER 223 00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:28,941 GOT ANY PUSHBACK OVER. 224 00:08:28,941 --> 00:08:30,509 Bill: C YOU TELL IT'S 225 00:08:30,509 --> 00:08:33,045 NOW? 226 00:08:33,045 --> 00:08:34,914 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 227 00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:37,116 IS NOT MY J I DIDN'T WRITE 228 00:08:37,116 --> 00:08:38,918 IT SOMEBODY TOLD IT TO MEICK 229 00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:46,025 PRIESTS ARE WRITING IN IT. 230 00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:47,627 I'M LOOKING FOR A COUPLE OF 231 00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:49,095 CHILD MOLESTERS. 232 00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:51,631 THE PRIESTS LOOK AT EACH OTHER 233 00:08:51,631 --> 00:08:54,834 AND WE'LL DO IT THEY SAY.[LAUGH] 234 00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:55,401 [APPLAUSE] 235 00:08:55,401 --> 00:08:57,003 AT THIS FATHER GOT SO UPSET-- 236 00:08:57,003 --> 00:09:00,640 WHAT BOTHERED ME WAS HE WAITED 237 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:01,274 UNTIL THEY WERE HANDING OUT THE 238 00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:09,215 ASSHOLE-- THEY WERE RECEIVING 239 00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:10,716 THEIR DIPLOMAS AFTER FOUR YEARS 240 00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:12,184 OF HARD WORK IF YOU WANTED TO DO 241 00:09:12,184 --> 00:09:14,120 THAT, DO IT DURING MY SPE 242 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:15,655 THE TIMING WAS BAD ON HIS PART, 243 00:09:15,655 --> 00:09:17,990 I THOUGHTS. 244 00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:20,626 THAT'S A NEW THING THAT YOU HAVE 245 00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:21,961 TO LEARN TO EXPECT, YOU HAVE TO 246 00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:22,995 LEARN TO EXPECT IF SOMEBODY 247 00:09:22,995 --> 00:09:23,930 T LIKE SOMETHING YOU DO, 248 00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:26,465 THEY'RE GOING TO TRY TO GET AT 249 00:09:26,465 --> 00:09:26,832 YOU. 250 00:09:26,832 --> 00:09:29,235 Bill: CHRIS ROCK, WE SAW 251 00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:30,236 DAVE CHAPPELLE A NUMBER OF 252 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:30,870 PEOPLE I'M A LITTLE INSULTED I 253 00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:37,043 HAVE NOT BEEN ATTACKED YET. 254 00:09:37,043 --> 00:09:39,712 - I'M KDING ABOUT THAT. 255 00:09:39,712 --> 00:09:43,582 [APPLAUSE] 256 00:09:43,582 --> 00:09:45,117 ANOTHER THING WE HAVE IN COMMON 257 00:09:45,117 --> 00:09:47,620 AS WE HATE KIDS. 258 00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:51,657 [LAUGHTER] 259 00:09:51,657 --> 00:09:53,726 HERE'S WHAT I'VE BEEN 260 00:09:53,726 --> 00:09:54,393 THINKING LATELY A LOT OF PEOPLE 261 00:09:54,393 --> 00:09:55,094 WHO SAY THEY ARE WOUNDED OR 262 00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:57,997 OFFENDED BY SOMETHING, THEY WERE 263 00:09:57,997 --> 00:10:02,201 NEVER HIT BY THEIR PARENTS. 264 00:10:02,201 --> 00:10:03,069 IT'S TRUE. 265 00:10:03,069 --> 00:10:06,872 EVER HIT THEIR CHILDREN AND SO 266 00:10:06,872 --> 00:10:10,076 THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT PAIN IS, 267 00:10:10,076 --> 00:10:11,610 REALLY. 268 00:10:11,610 --> 00:10:13,946 I THINK IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HIT 269 00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:15,448 YOUR KIDS, THAT'S FINE, BUT 270 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:18,150 OTHER PEOPLE SHOULD BE ALLOWED 271 00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:20,119 TO. 272 00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:22,621 [LAUGHTER] 273 00:10:22,621 --> 00:10:26,025 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 274 00:10:26,025 --> 00:10:26,993 I THINK CHILDREN ARE LIKE 275 00:10:26,993 --> 00:10:28,260 ANIMALS OR DON'T HAVE ANY 276 00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:29,061 NATURAL PREDATORS LEFT AND THERE 277 00:10:29,061 --> 00:10:32,365 DOES NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING. 278 00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:33,566 Bill: THEY ARE DIFFERENT 279 00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:34,600 THAN THEY USED TO BE. 280 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:43,042 THEY ARE NATURALLY FEDERAL. 281 00:10:43,042 --> 00:10:43,275 FERAL. 282 00:10:43,275 --> 00:10:44,777 WILL READ "LORD OFLIES," 283 00:10:44,777 --> 00:10:47,413 WHAT DID WE GET OUT OF THAT 284 00:10:47,413 --> 00:10:47,613 BOOK? 285 00:10:47,613 --> 00:10:48,848 KIDS ARE FERAL? 286 00:10:48,848 --> 00:10:51,817 THEY HAVE TOIVILIZED BY 287 00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:52,852 ADULTS AND ADULTS STOP DOING 288 00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:53,285 THAT. 289 00:10:53,285 --> 00:10:54,520 I THINK THAT IS THET OF 290 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:55,654 ALMOST ALL OF OUR PROBLEMS. 291 00:10:55,654 --> 00:11:01,827 [APPLAUSE] 292 00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:03,362 I WAS IN LONDON NO AGO 293 00:11:03,362 --> 00:11:05,798 AND THERE WERE BOYS BREAKING 294 00:11:05,798 --> 00:11:07,199 BRANCHES OFF OF A TREE AND THIS 295 00:11:07,199 --> 00:11:09,402 WOMAN SAID TO Y BS, STOP 296 00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:09,969 DOING THAT AND THEY SAID YOU 297 00:11:09,969 --> 00:11:11,837 CAN'T TALK TO US. 298 00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:14,774 THEY WERE RIGHT. 299 00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:15,408 WHAT SHE WAS DOING-- ACCORDING 300 00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:20,246 TO LAW, AND THEY KNEW IT. 301 00:11:20,246 --> 00:11:21,580 Bill: THAT IS A SEA CHANGE 302 00:11:21,580 --> 00:11:26,152 FROM WHEN WE W KIDS. 303 00:11:26,152 --> 00:11:27,620 NOT ONLY COULD A PARENT HIT YOU, 304 00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:29,922 THE NEIGHBOR COULD HIT YOU. 305 00:11:29,922 --> 00:11:31,824 [LAUGHTER] 306 00:11:31,824 --> 00:11:32,158 REALLY. 307 00:11:32,158 --> 00:11:33,993 IT WAS LIKE IT TAKES A VILLAGE, 308 00:11:33,993 --> 00:11:38,297 THAT WAS THE MENTALITY. 309 00:11:38,297 --> 00:11:41,333 [APPLAUSE] 310 00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:43,903 FAR BUT I THINK THAT'SRTTLE TOO 311 00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:46,972 THAN WHAT WE HAVE NOW. 312 00:11:46,972 --> 00:11:49,275 I DON'T HAVE CHILDREN, YOU DON'T 313 00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:50,209 HAVE CHILDREN, SOME PEOPLE SAY 314 00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:52,178 TO ME HOW DO YOU KNOW? 315 00:11:52,178 --> 00:11:55,614 I'M SENT EM TO. 316 00:11:55,614 --> 00:11:58,250 EVEN IF I DIDN'T G OUT IN THE 317 00:11:58,250 --> 00:11:59,385 WORLD,VERY TELEVISION SHOW, 318 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:02,588 EVERY MOVE HENTS THIS 319 00:12:02,588 --> 00:12:04,557 DYNAMIC BETWEEN KIDS AND 320 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:04,790 PARENTS. 321 00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:06,459 WHERE THE KIDS, THEY ARE TOLD 322 00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:08,661 SOMETHING, THEY JUST IGNORE IT 323 00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:10,796 OR THEY YELL BACK AT THEIR 324 00:12:10,796 --> 00:12:11,931 PARENTS, THEY CAN'T ALL BE 325 00:12:11,931 --> 00:12:18,804 THIS BE WHAT IT'S LIKE. 326 00:12:18,804 --> 00:12:20,239 YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND BUT YOU 327 00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:20,773 DON'T WANT TO HAVE KIDS? 328 00:12:20,773 --> 00:12:25,177 NO. 329 00:12:25,177 --> 00:12:26,512 WHO ON TOUR I DO BOOK 330 00:12:26,512 --> 00:12:28,080 SIGNINGS CAN I GET TO MEET A LOT 331 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:30,015 OF PEOPLE AND TO MEET PEOPLE AND 332 00:12:30,015 --> 00:12:31,717 YOU ASK QUESTIONS AND AWAY 333 00:12:31,717 --> 00:12:33,152 YOU WOULDN'T ASK SOMEONE IN THE 334 00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:34,820 GROCERY STORE, YOU CAN ASK 335 00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:36,555 WHATEVER YOU WANT TO. 336 00:12:36,555 --> 00:12:38,958 I'M SURPRISED I MEET A TEENAGER 337 00:12:38,958 --> 00:12:40,593 AND YOU HAVE AN AFTER-SCHOOL 338 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:44,964 JOB-- THE PARENT ALWAYS, THIS 339 00:12:44,964 --> 00:12:50,269 IS ATTICUS' TIME TO BE ATTICUS. 340 00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:50,536 [LAUGHTER] 341 00:12:50,536 --> 00:12:50,803 [APPLAUSE] 342 00:12:50,803 --> 00:12:51,737 THAT'S WHY YOU GO TO 343 00:12:51,737 --> 00:12:53,439 LD'S YOU GO TO THESE 344 00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:55,841 PLACES, THERE'S NOBOD WORKING 345 00:12:55,841 --> 00:12:56,408 THERE, IT'S BECAUSE PEOPLE 346 00:12:56,408 --> 00:12:57,343 'T SENDING THEIR KIDS OUT TO 347 00:12:57,343 --> 00:13:00,446 WORK ANYMORE. 348 00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:02,148 I KNOW THIS MAKES ME SOUND OLD 349 00:13:02,148 --> 00:13:04,049 BUT WHEN I WAS 14 MY MOTHER 350 00:13:04,049 --> 00:13:05,451 WANTED US OUT OF T HOUSE SO WE 351 00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:07,953 HAD TO GET VOLUNTEER JOBS. 352 00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:11,257 SO I WENT STRAIGHT TO THE STATE. 353 00:13:11,257 --> 00:13:11,524 [LAUGHTER] 354 00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:13,526 AND I WORKED THERE FOR TWO 355 00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:16,395 YEARS.EAT TRAINING. 356 00:13:16,395 --> 00:13:18,230 IT WASN'T LIKE YOU'RE GOING T 357 00:13:18,230 --> 00:13:19,431 HELP THESE PEOPLE MAKE PAPER 358 00:13:19,431 --> 00:13:20,199 FLOWERS. 359 00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:22,201 IT WAS KNOW THEY NEED 360 00:13:22,201 --> 00:13:24,036 ORDERLY CALLED IN SICK AND I'M 361 00:13:24,036 --> 00:13:25,271 14 YEARS OLD AT STRAPPING A 362 00:13:25,271 --> 00:13:29,575 NAKED MAN TO A GURNEY. 363 00:13:29,575 --> 00:13:31,644 [LAUGHTER] 364 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:34,146 THAT IS AN EDUCATION FOR A 365 00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:34,914 14-YEAR-OLD. 366 00:13:34,914 --> 00:13:37,449 LAUSE] 367 00:13:37,449 --> 00:13:40,152 AND I WAS A DISHWASHER. 368 00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:41,587 MY PARENTS SAID YOU NEED TO 369 00:13:41,587 --> 00:13:43,055 CONCENTRATE ON SCHOOL I WOULDN'T 370 00:13:43,055 --> 00:13:44,657 MISS MY DISHWASHIN TIME 371 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:48,160 STUDYING, THEY KNEW THAT. 372 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,562 I THINK IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT 373 00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:55,467 FOR TEENTO WORK, I THINK 374 00:13:55,467 --> 00:13:58,170 IT IS AN IMPORTANT FEELING. 375 00:13:58,170 --> 00:13:59,438 Bill: YOUR BOOK A LOT OF IT 376 00:13:59,438 --> 00:14:01,106 IS KIND OF DARK BUT IT'S 377 00:14:01,106 --> 00:14:02,741 FUNNY-- YOUR FATHER DIED WE 378 00:14:02,741 --> 00:14:03,876 KNOW THIS FROM YOUR OTHER BOOKS 379 00:14:03,876 --> 00:14:05,511 YOU HAD A STRAINED RELATIONSHIP 380 00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:10,216 WITH YOU FATHER WHO WAS TRUMP 381 00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:13,152 ER, CAN WE BROADLY PUT IT THAT 382 00:14:13,152 --> 00:14:13,919 WAY? 383 00:14:13,919 --> 00:14:16,021 THEN YOU HAD A GREAT LINE THAT 384 00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:16,722 HE GOT DEMENTIA AND FORGOT HE 385 00:14:16,722 --> 00:14:21,427 WAS AN ASSHOLE. 386 00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:22,995 [LAUGHTER] 387 00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:24,196 DOES THAT FIT INTO T VIEW 388 00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:26,999 WIS TODAY? 389 00:14:26,999 --> 00:14:30,836 I THINK HE THOUGHT-- WHEN MY 390 00:14:30,836 --> 00:14:32,605 GRANDMOTHER GOT OLD MY FATHER 391 00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:33,906 PUT HER IN A HOME AND YOU DON'T 392 00:14:33,906 --> 00:14:36,108 DO THAT WHEN YOU'RE GREEK, YOU 393 00:14:36,108 --> 00:14:40,813 DON'T DO THAT. 394 00:14:40,813 --> 00:14:42,281 HIS MOTHER WAS SHOCKED, THAT'S 395 00:14:42,281 --> 00:14:43,582 WHY I HAD DO YOU. 396 00:14:43,582 --> 00:14:45,084 I HAD TO USE SO YOU WOULD TAKE 397 00:14:45,084 --> 00:14:48,020 CARE OF ME. 398 00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:49,421 MY FATHER HAD US LIKE WE WOULD 399 00:14:49,421 --> 00:14:51,056 TAKE CARE OF HIM AND WE ARE LIKE 400 00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:52,191 YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE. 401 00:14:52,191 --> 00:14:54,026 I DIDN'T REALLY PAN OUT THE WAY 402 00:14:54,026 --> 00:14:58,097 I THINK HE HOPED THAT IT WOULD. 403 00:14:58,097 --> 00:15:01,367 NO ONE OFFERED FOR HIM TO MOVE 404 00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:04,236 I IMAGINE. 405 00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:05,004 Bill: DO YOU THINK THAT 406 00:15:05,004 --> 00:15:06,672 WILL HAUNT YOU FOR THE R 407 00:15:06,672 --> 00:15:06,939 YOUR LIFE? 408 00:15:06,939 --> 00:15:09,908 NO. 409 00:15:09,908 --> 00:15:16,048 [APPLAUSE] 410 00:15:16,048 --> 00:15:17,816 I WAS TRYING TO THINK IF I WAS 411 00:15:17,816 --> 00:15:19,084 EVER RUDE TO MY MOTHER OR MEAN 412 00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:19,685 TO MY MOTHER AND I HONESTLY 413 00:15:19,685 --> 00:15:24,556 DON'T THINK IM BUT WE RECALLED 414 00:15:24,556 --> 00:15:25,824 AN OCCASION IN WHICH I WAS I 415 00:15:25,824 --> 00:15:26,525 WOULD FEEL AWFUL ABOUT IT. 416 00:15:26,525 --> 00:15:31,363 I ADORED MY MOTHER AND THE 417 00:15:31,363 --> 00:15:32,331 THOUGHT OF HER CAUSING ONE 418 00:15:32,331 --> 00:15:33,432 MOMENT OF STRESS OR UNHAPPINESS 419 00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:36,769 WOULD PLAGUE ME. 420 00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:41,040 BUT YOUHAT YOU PAY FOR. 421 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,541 I'M COMPLETELY FINE WITH MY 422 00:15:42,541 --> 00:15:43,976 ATTITUDE WITH MY FATHER. 423 00:15:43,976 --> 00:15:45,844 I WOULD NEVER FEEL GUILTY. 424 00:15:45,844 --> 00:15:48,247 BT GAVE YOU A LOT OF 425 00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:48,781 MATERIAL. 426 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:49,615 [LAUGHTER] 427 00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:49,848 YEAH. 428 00:15:49,848 --> 00:15:51,650 Bill: ART IS KIND OF 429 00:15:51,650 --> 00:15:52,418 RECEIPT FOR PAIN. 430 00:15:52,418 --> 00:15:54,153 THERE'S PAIN BUT YOU GET 431 00:15:54,153 --> 00:15:55,120 SOMETHING FOR IT. 432 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,689 I THINK YOU ARE WRITING BETTER 433 00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:58,424 THAN EVER, YOU THINK THAT 434 00:15:58,424 --> 00:15:58,991 YOURSELF. 435 00:15:58,991 --> 00:16:01,293 THAT'S KIND, THANK YOU. 436 00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:02,594 Bill: YEAH. 437 00:16:02,594 --> 00:16:05,731 A VOCATION LIKE YOU'RE IN, AGE 438 00:16:05,731 --> 00:16:06,799 DOES YOU BETTER. 439 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:13,272 [APPLAUSE] 440 00:16:13,272 --> 00:16:15,107 YOU LEARN MORE, YOU'RE A WISE, 441 00:16:15,107 --> 00:16:16,642 GUY OF COURSE YOU'RE GOING 442 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:19,611 TO BE BETTER AT 65 AND 35. 443 00:16:19,611 --> 00:16:21,547 I DON'T KNOW IF ANY WRITER 444 00:16:21,547 --> 00:16:23,248 WHO DOESN'T LOOK BACK AT THEIR 445 00:16:23,248 --> 00:16:23,849 EARLY BOOKS AND THINK CAN WE 446 00:16:23,849 --> 00:16:28,253 JUST SHRED THEM? 447 00:16:28,253 --> 00:16:29,121 [LAUGHTER] 448 00:16:29,121 --> 00:16:29,855 Bill: DO YOU THINK YOU'LL 449 00:16:29,855 --> 00:16:32,124 BE THINKING THAT ABOUT THIS BOOK 450 00:16:32,124 --> 00:16:35,427 WHEN YOU'RE 90? I HOPE. 451 00:16:35,427 --> 00:16:36,095 Bill: BECAUSE THAT MEANS 452 00:16:36,095 --> 00:16:36,662 YOU'RE GETTING BETTER? 453 00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:38,664 YOU HAVE A GREAT WAY OF LOOKING 454 00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:38,931 AT IT. 455 00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:40,466 HIM A PLEASURE T YOU, 456 00:16:40,466 --> 00:16:44,536 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING. 457 00:16:44,536 --> 00:16:47,840 DAVID SEDARIS, LET'S MAKE OUR 458 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:51,577 PANEL! 459 00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:52,044 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 460 00:16:52,044 --> 00:16:52,644 HE'S PROFESSOR OF MARKETING AT 461 00:16:52,644 --> 00:16:53,278 NYU STERN SCHOOL OF BUSINESS A 462 00:16:53,278 --> 00:16:53,879 HOST OF "THE PROF G PODCAST": 463 00:16:53,879 --> 00:16:59,385 SCOTT GALLOWA 464 00:16:59,385 --> 00:16:59,852 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 465 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:00,452 SHE'S A STAFF WRITER FOR THE 466 00:17:00,452 --> 00:17:03,989 ATLANTIC: ANNIE LOWREY. 467 00:17:03,989 --> 00:17:04,923 WELCOME ABOARD HERE FOR THE 468 00:17:04,923 --> 00:17:10,963 FIRST TIME, GREAT TO SEE YOU. 469 00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:12,965 LY DON'T WANT TO GIVE 470 00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:13,599 DONALD TRUMP THE SATISFACTION OF 471 00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:15,801 TALKING ABOUT HIM I THOUGHT WHEN 472 00:17:15,801 --> 00:17:17,803 HE WAS GONE HE WOULD BE GONE A 473 00:17:17,803 --> 00:17:19,671 LITTLE B BUT THERE IS AN 474 00:17:19,671 --> 00:17:20,973 EX-PRESIDENT OUT THERE WHO'S 475 00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:22,608 GO BE ARRESTED POSSIBLY 476 00:17:22,608 --> 00:17:23,275 AND HE IS TALKING ABOUT VIOLENCE 477 00:17:23,275 --> 00:17:25,310 IN THE STREETS WITH HIS 478 00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:27,413 SUPPORTERS IF HE DOES. 479 00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:29,381 I KIND OF HAVE TO SAY OR GET 480 00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:30,682 YOUR OPINION ON THIS, ONE MORE 481 00:17:30,682 --> 00:17:31,517 TIME YOU CAN BK ABOUT 482 00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:33,952 IT-- I WOULD LIKE TO GO ON 483 00:17:33,952 --> 00:17:35,287 RECORD SAYING I THINK THISS A 484 00:17:35,287 --> 00:17:36,221 COLOSSAL MISTAKE IF THEY BRING 485 00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:39,758 THESE CHARGES. 486 00:17:39,758 --> 00:17:40,959 NOT THIS ONE. 487 00:17:40,959 --> 00:17:41,994 YES, HE'S DONE A LOT OF BAD 488 00:17:41,994 --> 00:17:43,328 THINGS AND I'M SURE HE DID THIS 489 00:17:43,328 --> 00:17:45,330 EVERYTHING THEY ACCUSE HIM OF 490 00:17:45,330 --> 00:17:46,365 DOING HE DID. 491 00:17:46,365 --> 00:17:47,299 IT'S GOING TO WORK. 492 00:17:47,299 --> 00:17:50,068 IT'S GOING TO BE ROCKET FUEL FOR 493 00:17:50,068 --> 00:17:51,737 HIS 2024 CAMPAIGN. 494 00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:55,774 IT'S JUST GOING TO LOOK TO MAGA 495 00:17:55,774 --> 00:17:56,942 NATION LIKE YOU TRIED WITH 496 00:17:56,942 --> 00:17:58,811 RO MUELLER, YOU TRIED WITH 497 00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:01,013 UKRAINE, YOU TRIED WITH 498 00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:02,448 JANUARY 6, NOW YOU'RE GOING TO 499 00:18:02,448 --> 00:18:03,115 THE PORN STAR, REALLY? 500 00:18:03,115 --> 00:18:07,986 YOUR DOWN TO THAT? 501 00:18:07,986 --> 00:18:08,554 YOUR THOUGHTS. 502 00:18:08,554 --> 00:18:10,456 ABSOLUTELY, I THINK THE TIME 503 00:18:10,456 --> 00:18:11,089 THIS HAS BEEN COMING FORWARD IF 504 00:18:11,089 --> 00:18:13,192 WE LOOK OVER THE PAST THREE 505 00:18:13,192 --> 00:18:15,394 MONTHS DONALD TRUMP HAS THIS 506 00:18:15,394 --> 00:18:16,929 INDICTMENT HAS BEEN HANGING OVER 507 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,597 FOLKS AND AS HIS HAS 508 00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:20,566 BEEN IN THE NEWS EVEN MORE, HIS 509 00:18:20,566 --> 00:18:25,270 POPULARITY RATING HAS GONE UP, 510 00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,039 HIS LIKELIHOOD OF BEING ELECTED 511 00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:29,174 BY REPUBLICAN VOTERS HAS GONE 512 00:18:29,174 --> 00:18:29,908 UP, RON DeSANTIS IS NO LONGER 513 00:18:29,908 --> 00:18:31,777 THE FRONT RUNNER I THINK 514 00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:34,413 WE'VE SEEN IN THE PAST HOWEVER 515 00:18:34,413 --> 00:18:35,414 MANY YEARS THE MORE ATTENTION IS 516 00:18:35,414 --> 00:18:37,516 ON HIM REGARDLESS OF WHAT THAT 517 00:18:37,516 --> 00:18:39,184 ATTENTION IS ABOUT THE MORE THE 518 00:18:39,184 --> 00:18:40,085 CIRCUS HAS HIM IN THE CENTER OF 519 00:18:40,085 --> 00:18:44,256 ITS RINGS THE BETTER HE TENDS TO 520 00:18:44,256 --> 00:18:45,023 DO. 521 00:18:45,023 --> 00:18:47,192 INK POLITICALLY THERE IS AN 522 00:18:47,192 --> 00:18:47,759 INTERESTING QUESTION. 523 00:18:47,759 --> 00:18:49,061 THE LEGAL C ITSELF DON'T 524 00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:50,596 KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF. 525 00:18:50,596 --> 00:18:52,498 IF WE ARE GOING TO INDICT 526 00:18:52,498 --> 00:18:55,534 PEOPLE WHO PAYOFF THEIR 527 00:18:55,534 --> 00:18:56,568 PROSTITUTES AND LIE ABOUT IT, 528 00:18:56,568 --> 00:18:58,237 IT'S GOI TO BE A PERFECT 529 00:18:58,237 --> 00:19:01,840 PARADE, NOT A PERP WALK. 530 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:03,308 IF THEY DO THIS THIS INCREASES 531 00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:05,344 THE LIKELIHOOD HE'S A NOMINEE. 532 00:19:05,344 --> 00:19:06,512 THEY NEED TO PUT WOOD BEHIND THE 533 00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:08,647 ARROW THAT STICKS CHEMNITZ 534 00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:09,147 GEORGIA. 535 00:19:09,147 --> 00:19:11,650 [APPLAUSE] 536 00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:14,953 THIS IS JUST NOT-- 537 00:19:14,953 --> 00:19:16,922 WHAT MAKES HIM LOOK BAD, WHAT 538 00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:18,123 DEVALUES HIM IN THE EYES OF 539 00:19:18,123 --> 00:19:19,324 REPUBLICAN VOTERS, THERE'S A 540 00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:20,425 POLL THAT SHOWS 75% OF 541 00:19:20,425 --> 00:19:23,395 REPUBLICANS AGREE THAT IT'S BAD 542 00:19:23,395 --> 00:19:26,231 TO PAY HUSH MONEY TO SOMEBO-- 543 00:19:26,231 --> 00:19:28,200 THEY AGREED THIS WAS BAD TO. 544 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:28,834 THEY NEVER THOUGHT ANY OF THESE 545 00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:32,037 CHARGES REALLY MATTER. 546 00:19:32,037 --> 00:19:35,007 HAVE BEEN ABLE TO KEEP THE 547 00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:35,908 CONVERSATION ABOUT ECONOMY 548 00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:37,442 ABOUT WHAT THEY ARE OFFERING 549 00:19:37,442 --> 00:19:38,577 PEOPLE TO THE EXTENT THEY HAVE 550 00:19:38,577 --> 00:19:39,711 BEEN ABLE TO SIDELINE HIM THAT 551 00:19:39,711 --> 00:19:42,180 HAS TENDED TO WORK. 552 00:19:42,180 --> 00:19:42,915 Bill: TO BE FAIR AND 553 00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:44,216 ACCURATE SHE IS A PORN STAR, NOT 554 00:19:44,216 --> 00:19:46,184 A PROSTITUTE. 555 00:19:46,184 --> 00:19:47,352 EXCUSE ME. 556 00:19:47,352 --> 00:19:51,990 [APPLAUSE] 557 00:19:51,990 --> 00:19:53,959 Bill: LET US BE GALLANT 558 00:19:53,959 --> 00:19:55,160 SEX WORKER. 559 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:56,995 Bill: SEX WORKER, YES-- 560 00:19:56,995 --> 00:19:58,797 THAT IS DIFFERENT FROM A 561 00:19:58,797 --> 00:19:59,097 PROSTITUTE. 562 00:19:59,097 --> 00:20:03,001 I THINK PORN STARS LIKE HAVING 563 00:20:03,001 --> 00:20:04,803 X, PROSTITUTES ARE DOING IT 564 00:20:04,803 --> 00:20:05,637 FOR THE MONEY, THAT'S WHAT 565 00:20:05,637 --> 00:20:07,940 PROSTITUTION MEANS, DOING 566 00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:09,141 SOMETHING YOU HATE FOR THE 567 00:20:09,141 --> 00:20:09,341 MONEY. 568 00:20:09,341 --> 00:20:12,444 IS THAT WORK? 569 00:20:12,444 --> 00:20:13,645 Bill: THAT'S CALLED WORK, 570 00:20:13,645 --> 00:20:16,481 YEAH, WE ARE ALL W 571 00:20:16,481 --> 00:20:18,617 I THINK THEY ARE ALL DOING IT 572 00:20:18,617 --> 00:20:18,951 FOR THE MONEY. 573 00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:22,788 Bill: I THINK PORN STARS-- 574 00:20:22,788 --> 00:20:26,625 LET'S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE. 575 00:20:26,625 --> 00:20:27,092 [LAUGHTER] 576 00:20:27,092 --> 00:20:29,261 [APPLAUSE] 577 00:20:29,261 --> 00:20:32,397 THERE IS AIFFERENCE. 578 00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:33,198 OKAY. 579 00:20:33,198 --> 00:20:34,733 LET'S NOT LUMP PEOPLE TR, 580 00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:36,835 THAT'S WRONG ANY TIME WE DO IT. 581 00:20:36,835 --> 00:20:38,170 LET'S TALK ABOUT TIKTOKER, I 582 00:20:38,170 --> 00:20:40,472 CAN'T WAIT TO TALK ABOUT TIKTOK. 583 00:20:40,472 --> 00:20:44,076 THEY WERE GRILLING THE CEO OF 584 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:44,676 TIKTOK AND THE CHAIRMAN OF THE 585 00:20:44,676 --> 00:20:47,512 COMMITTEE OPENED BY SAYING YOUR 586 00:20:47,512 --> 00:20:51,950 PLATFORM SHOULD BE BANNED, AND 587 00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:53,118 THEN GOOD MORNING. 588 00:20:53,118 --> 00:20:55,754 I THINK THAT'S PRETTY FUNNY. 589 00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:56,388 AND INDEED THE BIDEN 590 00:20:56,388 --> 00:20:58,590 ADMINISTRATION IS ON THE SAME 591 00:20:58,590 --> 00:20:58,790 PAGE. 592 00:20:58,790 --> 00:20:59,992 THEY HAD MADE A TH TO EITHER 593 00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:01,059 SELL IT TO AN AMERICAN COMPANY 594 00:21:01,059 --> 00:21:03,528 OR LOSE IT. 595 00:21:03,528 --> 00:21:05,063 FOR PEOPLE MY AGE WATCHING WHO 596 00:21:05,063 --> 00:21:08,000 HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TIKTOK IS BUT 597 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:08,600 IT'S DOMINATED THE NEWS EVERY 598 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,536 WEEK, I KNOW YOU ARE INTERESTED 599 00:21:11,536 --> 00:21:14,573 IN THIS-- TELL THEM WIS 600 00:21:14,573 --> 00:21:17,275 INTERESTING.N IS SO 601 00:21:17,275 --> 00:21:19,211 BOTH DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICANS 602 00:21:19,211 --> 00:21:20,646 ARE SHITTING THEIR PANTS ABOUT 603 00:21:20,646 --> 00:21:20,879 TIKTOK. 604 00:21:20,879 --> 00:21:24,583 WHAT I IT THAT SO SCARY? 605 00:21:24,583 --> 00:21:26,018 IMAGINE A BRAIN JACK INSERTED 606 00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:28,587 INTO THE NEURAL NETWORK OF 607 00:21:28,587 --> 00:21:30,355 TWO-THIRDS OF OUR YOUTH UNDER 608 00:21:30,355 --> 00:21:31,990 THE AGE OF 25, THEY SPEND MORE 609 00:21:31,990 --> 00:21:33,191 TIME ON TIKTOK THAN EVERY OTHER 610 00:21:33,191 --> 00:21:34,793 MEDIA SOURCE, THEN IMAGINE HOW 611 00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:37,362 EASY IT WOULD BE TO PUT YOUR 612 00:21:37,362 --> 00:21:37,829 THUMB ON THE SCALE OF 613 00:21:37,829 --> 00:21:38,730 ANTI-AMERICAN CONTENT AND 614 00:21:38,730 --> 00:21:42,167 RECOGNIZE WOULD BE STUPID NOT 615 00:21:42,167 --> 00:21:46,838 TO ELEGANTLY AND INSIDIOUSLY, 616 00:21:46,838 --> 00:21:48,807 COVERT RAISE A GENERATION OF 617 00:21:48,807 --> 00:21:50,342 AMERICAN CIVIC NONPROFITS, 618 00:21:50,342 --> 00:21:52,644 MILITARY, AND GOVERNMENT LEADERS 619 00:21:52,644 --> 00:21:54,680 WHO DAY BY DAY,INUTE-BYE 620 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:56,581 FEEL A LITTLTIER ABOUT 621 00:21:56,581 --> 00:21:57,983 AMERICA. 622 00:21:57,983 --> 00:21:59,384 IF WE HAD THAT TOOL IN CHINA WE 623 00:21:59,384 --> 00:22:01,586 D DO THE EXACT SAME THING. 624 00:22:01,586 --> 00:22:03,088 THIS IS A DEFENSE THREAT. 625 00:22:03,088 --> 00:22:05,557 IT SHOULD ABSOLUTELY BE BANNED. 626 00:22:05,557 --> 00:22:08,093 WE CAN'T HAVE THIS. 627 00:22:08,093 --> 00:22:14,766 [APPLAUSE]>> I THINK THERE ARE S 628 00:22:14,766 --> 00:22:16,835 TO HOLD IN OUR HEAD TO. 629 00:22:16,835 --> 00:22:18,437 THE FIRST IS THE NOTION THE 630 00:22:18,437 --> 00:22:19,538 CHESE GOVERNMENT WOULD LEGALLY 631 00:22:19,538 --> 00:22:22,641 IN CHINESE LAW HAVE THE ABILITY 632 00:22:22,641 --> 00:22:23,942 TO ALTER CONTENT ON THIS 633 00:22:23,942 --> 00:22:26,578 PLATFORM AND HAVE THAT REACH IS 634 00:22:26,578 --> 00:22:30,949 TERRIFYING. 635 00:22:30,949 --> 00:22:32,150 MEMBERS OF CONGRESS REPEATEDLY 636 00:22:32,150 --> 00:22:33,552 SAID THIS IS BEING USED AS A 637 00:22:33,552 --> 00:22:36,288 TOOL OF MANIPULATIOPERHAPS 638 00:22:36,288 --> 00:22:37,189 PROPAGANDA. 639 00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:39,157 WE DON'T KNOW THAT'S HAPPENING 640 00:22:39,157 --> 00:22:41,359 AND WE'VE NOT SEEN CASES WHERE 641 00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:42,360 THAT'S TRUE. 642 00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:43,528 IS CASES WHERE THEY CAN'T 643 00:22:43,528 --> 00:22:45,230 TELL US OR IS THAT STILL 644 00:22:45,230 --> 00:22:46,398 HYPOTHETICAL-- THAT'S A 645 00:22:46,398 --> 00:22:48,200 QUESTION IT'S STILL OUTHERE. 646 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,001 AS YOU POINT OUT IT'S ENORMOUSLY 647 00:22:50,001 --> 00:22:51,803 POPULAR ESPECIALLY AMONG YOUNG 648 00:22:51,803 --> 00:22:55,373 PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY YOUNG VOTERS. 649 00:22:55,373 --> 00:22:57,609 WE WOULD BE DIVESTING FROM OR 650 00:22:57,609 --> 00:22:58,777 ALTERING OR LOSING A PLATFORM 651 00:22:58,777 --> 00:23:04,282 THAT HAS 15 150 MILLION AMERICAN 652 00:23:04,282 --> 00:23:05,951 USERS. 653 00:23:05,951 --> 00:23:07,185 Bill: IF WE GET RID OF 654 00:23:07,185 --> 00:23:09,921 THIS, THAT IT'S GOING TO BE 655 00:23:09,921 --> 00:23:12,457 CLICK DICK OR SOME OTHER THING. 656 00:23:12,457 --> 00:23:13,825 I'N JUST IN MY LINE 657 00:23:13,825 --> 00:23:14,893 THERE'S GENERATIONS OF THINGS 658 00:23:14,893 --> 00:23:17,162 THAT COME AND GO, SOCIAL MEDIA 659 00:23:17,162 --> 00:23:18,196 PLATFORMS, MAYBE THIS ONE IS 660 00:23:18,196 --> 00:23:19,097 BIGGER AND HAS A LITTLE MORE 661 00:23:19,097 --> 00:23:20,899 LASTING POWER. 662 00:23:20,899 --> 00:23:22,567 IT SEEMS TO BE THE ONLY WAY YOU 663 00:23:22,567 --> 00:23:24,636 GET RID OF THESE THINGS IS ONE 664 00:23:24,636 --> 00:23:29,207 MOM AND DAD GET ON IT. 665 00:23:29,207 --> 00:23:29,975 [APPLAUSE] 666 00:23:29,975 --> 00:23:31,610 THAT'S WHEN KIDS DON'T WANT 667 00:23:31,610 --> 00:23:32,944 IT BUT THEY WILL MIGRATE 668 00:23:32,944 --> 00:23:33,378 SOMEWHERE ELSE. 669 00:23:33,378 --> 00:23:35,247 I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU BANNED 670 00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:39,384 SOMETHING LIKE THIS.>> I THINK U 671 00:23:39,384 --> 00:23:41,319 THREATEN TO BAN TD THEN 672 00:23:41,319 --> 00:23:43,288 THEY SPIN IT TO AMERICAN 673 00:23:43,288 --> 00:23:43,755 INTERESTS. 674 00:23:43,755 --> 00:23:45,657 YOU HAVE WITH TIKTOK THE MOS 675 00:23:45,657 --> 00:23:47,559 POWERFUL PROPAGANDA TOOL IN 676 00:23:47,559 --> 00:23:48,560 HISTORY IT'S THE MOST 677 00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:50,595 DISSEMINATED PLATFORM IT'S GOT 678 00:23:50,595 --> 00:23:53,165 600 MILLION TO MAKE A 6 BILLION. 679 00:23:53,165 --> 00:23:54,800 ONE THING ABOUT A IS OUR 680 00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:55,433 OPTIMISM OF THE ACHILLES' HEEL 681 00:23:55,433 --> 00:23:57,869 TO THAT IS WE ARE MUCH EASIER TO 682 00:23:57,869 --> 00:23:59,137 FOOL AND CONVINCED WE HAVE BEEN 683 00:23:59,137 --> 00:23:59,371 FOOLED. 684 00:23:59,371 --> 00:24:03,008 IFOOK AT AGENT HOW PEOPLE 685 00:24:03,008 --> 00:24:04,009 FEEL ABOUT AMERICA IT'S 686 00:24:04,009 --> 00:24:05,544 INVERSELY COORDINATED AND THE 687 00:24:05,544 --> 00:24:06,745 NEGATIVITY IS POSITIVELY 688 00:24:06,745 --> 00:24:08,613 CORRELATED WITH CONSUMPTION OF 689 00:24:08,613 --> 00:24:09,114 SOCIAL MEDIA AND TIKTOK. 690 00:24:09,114 --> 00:24:12,551 YOU CAN'T LEAVE US AT THE FEETOR 691 00:24:12,551 --> 00:24:15,320 TIKTOK BUT WHEN YOU CAN SAY IS 692 00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:16,755 IT'S NOT INCUMBENT UPON US TO 693 00:24:16,755 --> 00:24:18,256 PROVE THEY AREN'T DOING IT'S 694 00:24:18,256 --> 00:24:19,391 INCUMBENT UPON THEM TO PROVE 695 00:24:19,391 --> 00:24:21,193 THAT THEY ARE NOT DOING. 696 00:24:21,193 --> 00:24:22,227 [APPLAUSE] 697 00:24:22,227 --> 00:24:23,528 Bill: AND THEY ARE DOING! 698 00:24:23,528 --> 00:24:26,164 THERE IS AN ATTEMPT TO BAN IT 699 00:24:26,164 --> 00:24:26,798 ALREADY THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION 700 00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:28,567 TRY TO DO THIS AND THERE WAS A 701 00:24:28,567 --> 00:24:29,668 QUESTION ABOUT THE ASTRAL 702 00:24:29,668 --> 00:24:31,469 SECURITY RISK THAT IT POSES. 703 00:24:31,469 --> 00:24:33,972 I'M N MAKING AN ARGUMENT ABOUT 704 00:24:33,972 --> 00:24:35,073 WHAT SECURITY RISK IT POSES 705 00:24:35,073 --> 00:24:37,342 BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW BUT I THINK 706 00:24:37,342 --> 00:24:39,244 AS WE ARE LOOKING AT THE BIDEN 707 00:24:39,244 --> 00:24:40,212 ADMINISTRATION AND CONGRESS 708 00:24:40,212 --> 00:24:41,646 TRYING TO DO THIS REGARDLESS OF 709 00:24:41,646 --> 00:24:42,647 THE CHOI THEY MAKE THERE'S 710 00:24:42,647 --> 00:24:46,318 G TO BE A GIANT EXPENSIVE 711 00:24:46,318 --> 00:24:47,219 AND LONG LEGAL IMBROGLIO BECAUSE 712 00:24:47,219 --> 00:24:49,921 THERE'S A FIRST AMENDMENT I 713 00:24:49,921 --> 00:24:50,155 ALSO. 714 00:24:50,155 --> 00:24:52,457 THE ADMINISTRATION IS NOT 715 00:24:52,457 --> 00:24:53,091 SUPPOSED TO BE STOPPING THE FREE 716 00:24:53,091 --> 00:24:57,195 FLOW OF INFORMATION. 717 00:24:57,195 --> 00:24:58,597 I DON'T KNOW THAT THE BIDEN 718 00:24:58,597 --> 00:24:59,898 ADMINISTRATION HAS GREAT ANSWERS 719 00:24:59,898 --> 00:25:01,800 OR GREAT CHOICES NOW THAT THIS 720 00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:03,568 IS SUCH A CEMENTED PART OF 721 00:25:03,568 --> 00:25:04,236 AMERICAN LIFE. 722 00:25:04,236 --> 00:25:06,004 SO WE CAN JUST DO 723 00:25:06,004 --> 00:25:07,272 HAND-WRINGING AND TALK ABOUT 724 00:25:07,272 --> 00:25:08,173 TRADE POLICY. 725 00:25:08,173 --> 00:25:09,374 THERE'S A SYMMETRIC TRADE 726 00:25:09,374 --> 00:25:11,009 POLICY, THEY LET OUR MEDIA 727 00:25:11,009 --> 00:25:12,244 COMPANIES IN CHINA JUST LONG 728 00:25:12,244 --> 00:25:14,980 ENOUGH TO STEAL OUR IP, KICK US 729 00:25:14,980 --> 00:25:16,181 OUT, PROP UP A LOCAL 730 00:25:16,181 --> 00:25:18,049 ENTREPRENEUR AND CAPTU THE 731 00:25:18,049 --> 00:25:18,817 VALUE. 732 00:25:18,817 --> 00:25:21,853 OF THEIR TIKTOK TALKS ABOUT 733 00:25:21,853 --> 00:25:23,255 PR PIANISTS AND HOW THEY 734 00:25:23,255 --> 00:25:25,790 WANT TO BE ASTRONAUTS. 735 00:25:25,790 --> 00:25:26,358 HOURS TALKS ABOUT INCOME 736 00:25:26,358 --> 00:25:27,425 INEQUALITY IN ELECTION 737 00:25:27,425 --> 00:25:28,960 MISINFORMATION AND A LOT OF GOOD 738 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:30,528 THINGS BUT AGAIN, THE CLIPS FROM 739 00:25:30,528 --> 00:25:33,398 TONIGHT'S THERE BE SOME THAT 740 00:25:33,398 --> 00:25:35,200 REFLECT AMERICA IN A GOOD LIGHT 741 00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:35,934 AND SOME IN A POOR LIGHT, ONE 742 00:25:35,934 --> 00:25:37,936 DAY BE STUPID NOT TO PUT THEIR 743 00:25:37,936 --> 00:25:38,803 THUMB ON THE SCALE? 744 00:25:38,803 --> 00:25:40,005 Bill: IT'S ALSO WHAT THEY 745 00:25:40,005 --> 00:25:41,907 ARE GETTIN THE DATA THEY ARE 746 00:25:41,907 --> 00:25:42,173 STEALING. 747 00:25:42,173 --> 00:25:43,675 THEY ARE ABLE TO L LOOK AT 748 00:25:43,675 --> 00:25:45,110 EVERYTHING SOMEBODY IS DOING ON 749 00:25:45,110 --> 00:25:45,343 TIKTOK. 750 00:25:45,343 --> 00:25:46,511 I DON'T KNOW IF THEY'RE GOING TO 751 00:25:46,511 --> 00:25:47,612 GET A LOT OF INFORMATION FROM 752 00:25:47,612 --> 00:25:48,914 OUR KIDS BECAUSE OUR KIDS DON'T 753 00:25:48,914 --> 00:25:52,317 KNOW ANYTHING. 754 00:25:52,317 --> 00:25:54,152 [LAUGHTER] 755 00:25:54,152 --> 00:25:54,986 BUT THERE IS A LOT OF 756 00:25:54,986 --> 00:25:58,189 INFORMATION TO BE GLEANED. 757 00:25:58,189 --> 00:26:00,926 I KNOW THIS IS THE 20TH 758 00:26:00,926 --> 00:26:02,394 ANNIVERSARY OF THE IRAQ WAR AND 759 00:26:02,394 --> 00:26:04,763 THE NAIVETE WE HAD WITH IRAN 760 00:26:04,763 --> 00:26:05,630 TAKING OVER THAT COUNTRY MAKES 761 00:26:05,630 --> 00:26:11,136 ME THINK OF THIS, IN BROAD'S 762 00:26:11,136 --> 00:26:12,103 STROKES-- OF COURSE THEY ARE 763 00:26:12,103 --> 00:26:15,674 DOG IT, THEY ARE THE A COUNTRY 764 00:26:15,674 --> 00:26:18,109 THAT LOCKS YOU IN YOUR APARTMENT 765 00:26:18,109 --> 00:26:20,345 IF YOU HAD COVID, THEY DID CRAZY 766 00:26:20,345 --> 00:26:20,578 THINGS. 767 00:26:20,578 --> 00:26:25,116 IT'S A PRESIDENT FOR LIFE, IT'S 768 00:26:25,116 --> 00:26:27,118 A SURVEILLANCE STATE. 769 00:26:27,118 --> 00:26:28,420 THERE'S ONE CONGRESSMAN WHO SAID 770 00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:30,722 THIS IS WRONG BECAUSE IT'S 771 00:26:30,722 --> 00:26:31,690 RACIST. 772 00:26:31,690 --> 00:26:33,158 THIS CRAZY CARD THAT THEY PLAYED 773 00:26:33,158 --> 00:26:36,194 SOME PEOPLE THAT YOU CAN'T-- 774 00:26:36,194 --> 00:26:38,163 CHINA IS THE NEW ISLAM. 775 00:26:38,163 --> 00:26:39,531 YOU CAN'T CRITICIZE ANY HUMAN 776 00:26:39,531 --> 00:26:40,131 RIGHTS VIOLATIONS BECAUSE IT 777 00:26:40,131 --> 00:26:42,334 MAKES YOU RACIST. 778 00:26:42,334 --> 00:26:44,569 I ASSUME YOU GIVE NO QUARTER TO 779 00:26:44,569 --> 00:26:45,470 THAT. 780 00:26:45,470 --> 00:26:46,738 THE CONVERSATION EIGHT MONTHS 781 00:26:46,738 --> 00:26:49,140 AGO I SAID IT SHOULD BE BANNED 782 00:26:49,140 --> 00:26:51,242 ON THIS SHOW I WAS CALLED A 783 00:26:51,242 --> 00:26:53,778 JINGLE LIST AND A RACIST. 784 00:26:53,778 --> 00:26:55,714 C-SPAN YESTERDAY WAS THIS ALIEN 785 00:26:55,714 --> 00:26:56,614 NETWORK WHERE DEMOCRATS AND 786 00:26:56,614 --> 00:26:59,017 REPUBLICANS WERE AGREEING. 787 00:26:59,017 --> 00:26:59,751 [LAUGHTER] 788 00:26:59,751 --> 00:27:01,686 THERE'S MORE UNITY IN CONGRESS 789 00:27:01,686 --> 00:27:04,089 NOW AROUND THIS, PEOPLE ARE MORE 790 00:27:04,089 --> 00:27:05,290 THREATENED BY TIKTOK THAN 791 00:27:05,290 --> 00:27:06,257 RUSSIAN TROOPS PORTING OVE 792 00:27:06,257 --> 00:27:09,894 BORDER IN UKRAINE. 793 00:27:09,894 --> 00:27:11,129 THIS SEASON OF C-SPAN IS OFF THE 794 00:27:11,129 --> 00:27:13,498 HOOK. 795 00:27:13,498 --> 00:27:14,799 [LAUGHTER] 796 00:27:14,799 --> 00:27:16,701 [APPLAUSE] 797 00:27:16,701 --> 00:27:19,004 HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THIS-- THEY 798 00:27:19,004 --> 00:27:20,739 ARE GOING TO PASS LEGISLATION 799 00:27:20,739 --> 00:27:21,373 THAT GIVES THE COMMERCE 800 00:27:21,373 --> 00:27:23,208 DEPARTMENT THELITY TO BAN 801 00:27:23,208 --> 00:27:24,609 IT'S, ON THE EVE OF THE BANNING 802 00:27:24,609 --> 00:27:26,478 THE PEOPLE DECIDE WE H 803 00:27:26,478 --> 00:27:27,946 300 BILLIOSONS TO GET IN 804 00:27:27,946 --> 00:27:29,981 THEIR WAY AND WE WILL SPIN IT. 805 00:27:29,981 --> 00:27:31,182 THERE'S TOO MUCH MONEY AT HAND 806 00:27:31,182 --> 00:27:32,384 AND IT WILL BE SPUN. 807 00:27:32,384 --> 00:27:33,685 Bill: I KNOW YOU HAVE BEEN 808 00:27:33,685 --> 00:27:36,521 THINKING A LOT ABOUT YOUNG BOYS. 809 00:27:36,521 --> 00:27:36,788 [LAUGHTER] 810 00:27:36,788 --> 00:27:38,690 I'M KIDDING-- THAT CAME OUT 811 00:27:38,690 --> 00:27:41,793 WRONG. 812 00:27:41,793 --> 00:27:43,962 ABOUT THE MEN IN CRISIS PROBLEM, 813 00:27:43,962 --> 00:27:45,063 I READ SOME AMAZING STATISTICS 814 00:27:45,063 --> 00:27:47,599 KNOWING THIS IS A PET SUBJECT OF 815 00:27:47,599 --> 00:27:49,934 YOURS. 816 00:27:49,934 --> 00:27:52,137 I FEEL LIKE SOMETIMES PEOPLE IN 817 00:27:52,137 --> 00:27:53,772 THIS COUNTRY GET CAUGHT IN A 818 00:27:53,772 --> 00:27:55,840 PARADIGM THAT'S JUST NOT 819 00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:56,941 HAPPENING ANYMORE. 820 00:27:56,941 --> 00:27:58,376 IN THEIR MINDS I THINK THEY 821 00:27:58,376 --> 00:28:00,178 THINK MEN ARE STILL AHEAD, MEN 822 00:28:00,178 --> 00:28:01,579 ARE TOLD OFF AND YOU HAVE ALL 823 00:28:01,579 --> 00:28:03,915 THE ADVANTAGES-- LISTEN TO THI 824 00:28:03,915 --> 00:28:04,149 THIS. 825 00:28:04,149 --> 00:28:06,918 IN A FEW YEARS, TWICE THE NUMBER 826 00:28:06,918 --> 00:28:07,852 OF COLLEGE GRADUATES WILL BE 827 00:28:07,852 --> 00:28:11,689 WOMEN THAN MEN-- TWICE. 828 00:28:11,689 --> 00:28:12,090 70% OF HIGH SCHOOL 829 00:28:12,090 --> 00:28:14,993 VALEDICTORIANS ARE WOMEN. 830 00:28:14,993 --> 00:28:16,628 IN TEN STATES THEY ARE A GRADE 831 00:28:16,628 --> 00:28:18,196 LEVEL ABOVE THE BOYS COME IN ALL 832 00:28:18,196 --> 00:28:19,431 50 STATES THEY ARE AT LEAST HALF 833 00:28:19,431 --> 00:28:22,333 A GRADE LEVEL ABOUT THE BOY. 834 00:28:22,333 --> 00:28:22,734 THIS BLEW MY MIND. 835 00:28:22,734 --> 00:28:26,871 SINGLE WOMEN MORE LIKELY TO OWN 836 00:28:26,871 --> 00:28:28,907 THEIR O HOME THAN SINGLE MEN. 837 00:28:28,907 --> 00:28:30,608 HIM FAR LESS LIKELY TO COMMIT 838 00:28:30,608 --> 00:28:33,511 SUICIDE OR BE IN PRISON AND 839 00:28:33,511 --> 00:28:42,320 ALMOST TWICE AS MANY AREARRIEDU. 840 00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:44,155 TO THE LIBERALS HAVE THE GUTS TO 841 00:28:44,155 --> 00:28:48,359 TAKE THE CASE OF SOMEBODY WHO 842 00:28:48,359 --> 00:28:50,995 KIND OF LAGGING BEHIND IF IT'S A 843 00:28:50,995 --> 00:28:51,196 MALE? 844 00:28:51,196 --> 00:28:52,297 THE QUESTION IS SHOULD THEY 845 00:28:52,297 --> 00:28:54,165 PAY FOR THE SINS OF THE FATHER 846 00:28:54,165 --> 00:28:55,700 AND THE GRANDFATHER, A 847 00:28:55,700 --> 00:28:56,835 19-YEAR-OLD WHO DOESN'T HAVE ANY 848 00:28:56,835 --> 00:28:58,903 CTS WITHOUT A COLLEGE 849 00:28:58,903 --> 00:29:01,739 DEGREE, AND EDUCATION SYSTEM ISY 850 00:29:01,739 --> 00:29:03,341 TWICS LIKELY TO BE SUSPENDED 851 00:29:03,341 --> 00:29:04,943 FOR THE EXACT SAME BEHAVIOR AS A 852 00:29:04,943 --> 00:29:05,710 GIRL, FIVE TIMES AS LIKELY IF 853 00:29:05,710 --> 00:29:10,715 YOU'RE A BLACK BOY. 854 00:29:10,715 --> 00:29:11,616 YOU MENTIONED SOME STATISTICS. 855 00:29:11,616 --> 00:29:14,319 IF YOU ARE A MAN ON TENDER IF 856 00:29:14,319 --> 00:29:15,019 YOU'RE IN THE BOTTOM HALF 857 00:29:15,019 --> 00:29:16,387 AVERAGE ATTRACTIVENESS YOU HAVE 858 00:29:16,387 --> 00:29:19,357 TO SWIPE 200 TIMES TO GET A 859 00:29:19,357 --> 00:29:19,891 DATE. 860 00:29:19,891 --> 00:29:21,759 TO GET CONFIRMATION YOU HAVE NO 861 00:29:21,759 --> 00:29:22,827 VALUE. 862 00:29:22,827 --> 00:29:24,496 WE HAVE TO HAVE AST 863 00:29:24,496 --> 00:29:25,163 CONVERSATION DS ARE 864 00:29:25,163 --> 00:29:28,366 DIFFERENT FOR MEN AND WOMEN. 865 00:29:28,366 --> 00:29:29,367 75% OF WOMEN'S EC 866 00:29:29,367 --> 00:29:30,668 VIABILITY IS IMPORTANT ONLY 25% 867 00:29:30,668 --> 00:29:34,339 OF MEN. 868 00:29:34,339 --> 00:29:36,241 WOMEN MADE HORIZONTALLY IN THE 869 00:29:36,241 --> 00:29:37,942 MEN HORIZONTALLY AND DOWN. 870 00:29:37,942 --> 00:29:39,144 LACK OF HOUSEHOLD FORMATION AND 871 00:29:39,144 --> 00:29:39,744 THERE'S NOTHING MORE DANGEROUS 872 00:29:39,744 --> 00:29:42,580 THAN A LONELY, BROKE YOUNG MAN 873 00:29:42,580 --> 00:29:43,915 AND WE ARE PRODUCING TOO MANY OF 874 00:29:43,915 --> 00:29:44,349 THEM. 875 00:29:44,349 --> 00:29:46,217 WE ARE HAVING A PRODUCTIVE 876 00:29:46,217 --> 00:29:47,452 CONVERSATION BECAUSE WHO WANTS 877 00:29:47,452 --> 00:29:48,686 MORE EMOTIONALLY AND 878 00:29:48,686 --> 00:29:51,089 ECONOMICALLY VIABLE YOUNG MEN? 879 00:29:51,089 --> 00:29:53,725 WOMEN. 880 00:29:53,725 --> 00:29:55,093 COMPASSION IS NOT A ZERO-SUM 881 00:29:55,093 --> 00:29:55,560 GAME. 882 00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:57,762 CIVIL RIGHTS DIDN'T HURT WHITE 883 00:29:57,762 --> 00:29:59,397 PEOPLE, GAY MARRIAGE DIDN'T HURT 884 00:29:59,397 --> 00:30:01,032 TO HETEROSEXUAL MARRNOR IS 885 00:30:01,032 --> 00:30:02,300 HAVING EMPATHY FOR THE GROUP 886 00:30:02,300 --> 00:30:03,468 THAT'S FALLEN FOR THIS FASTEST 887 00:30:03,468 --> 00:30:06,371 IS THAT GOING TO AFFECT WOMEN? 888 00:30:06,371 --> 00:30:07,539 WE ARE HAVING A PRODUCTE 889 00:30:07,539 --> 00:30:08,673 CONVERSATION, ADVOCATING FOR MEN 890 00:30:08,673 --> 00:30:10,708 DOES NOT MAKE YOU ANTI-WOMEN. 891 00:30:10,708 --> 00:30:14,078 [APPLAUSE] 892 00:30:14,078 --> 00:30:16,214 I THINK THAT'S TRUE AND THERE 893 00:30:16,214 --> 00:30:19,350 IS GOOD POLSWERS HERE. 894 00:30:19,350 --> 00:30:21,052 MAKING SCHOOL MORE AVAILAB TO 895 00:30:21,052 --> 00:30:22,720 END KEYED TOWARDS BOYS IS 896 00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:23,655 DEFINITELY ONE ANSWER. 897 00:30:23,655 --> 00:30:24,956 I THINHERE'S A CULTURAL 898 00:30:24,956 --> 00:30:26,191 ANSWER THAT'S GOING TO HAVE TO 899 00:30:26,191 --> 00:30:28,426 COME INTO PLAY HERE. 900 00:30:28,426 --> 00:30:31,696 ONE OF OUR GREAT LIVING 901 00:30:31,696 --> 00:30:32,564 ECONOMISTS HAVE STUDIED TO MEN 902 00:30:32,564 --> 00:30:34,766 AND WOMEN IN THE LABOR MARKET 903 00:30:34,766 --> 00:30:37,001 AND HAS FOUND WHEN WOMEN ENTER A 904 00:30:37,001 --> 00:30:39,103 PROFESSION, MEN LEAVE. 905 00:30:39,103 --> 00:30:41,506 THE PROFESSION BECOMES DEVALUED. 906 00:30:41,506 --> 00:30:42,173 PEOPLE WITHIN IT MAKE LESS MONEY 907 00:30:42,173 --> 00:30:43,708 BECAUSE THE MEN DON'T WANT TO BE 908 00:30:43,708 --> 00:30:46,978 ASSOCIATED WITH WOMEN THERE 909 00:30:46,978 --> 00:30:48,313 IT'S CALLED THE POLLUTANT THEORY 910 00:30:48,313 --> 00:30:48,947 OF DISCRIMINATION. 911 00:30:48,947 --> 00:30:51,115 WOMEN ARE THE POLLUTANT IN THE 912 00:30:51,115 --> 00:30:51,783 EYES OF MEN. 913 00:30:51,783 --> 00:30:53,718 THIS IS ONE WAY IN WHICH 914 00:30:53,718 --> 00:30:54,352 PATRIARCHY IS HURTING MEN AND I 915 00:30:54,352 --> 00:30:58,223 AGREE WITH YOU THISS-- IT'S A 916 00:30:58,223 --> 00:30:58,790 CRISIS. 917 00:30:58,790 --> 00:30:59,924 IN TERMS OF OTHER CULTURAL 918 00:30:59,924 --> 00:31:01,526 TH I THINK THE MEDIA YOUNG 919 00:31:01,526 --> 00:31:03,494 MEN ARE CONSUMING A WHAT THEY 920 00:31:03,494 --> 00:31:05,363 ARE BEING TOLD ABOUT TVES 921 00:31:05,363 --> 00:31:07,198 AND WHAT THE WORLD OWES THEM IS 922 00:31:07,198 --> 00:31:11,002 UNBELIEVABLY DISGUSTINGLY TOXIC. 923 00:31:11,002 --> 00:31:11,269 [APPLAUSE] 924 00:31:11,269 --> 00:31:14,239 I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU COMBAT 925 00:31:14,239 --> 00:31:17,208 ANDREW TATE. 926 00:31:17,208 --> 00:31:18,309 I'M GOING TO SAVE US 927 00:31:18,309 --> 00:31:20,378 SPECIFICALLY ABOUT HIM, WHAT HE 928 00:31:20,378 --> 00:31:20,979 SAYS HIS MONSTROUS. 929 00:31:20,979 --> 00:31:21,546 Bill: TELL THE PEOPLE WHO 930 00:31:21,546 --> 00:31:27,352 HE IS WHO MAY NOT KNOW. 931 00:31:27,352 --> 00:31:29,787 HERE IS A PERSON WHO NO 932 00:31:29,787 --> 00:31:30,255 LONGER LIVES IN THE 933 00:31:30,255 --> 00:31:32,190 UNITED STATES WHO CREATES 934 00:31:32,190 --> 00:31:35,693 YOUTUBE CONTENT-- IT'S VERY 935 00:31:35,693 --> 00:31:37,328 SOCIAL, IT'S ALL ABOUT BEING 936 00:31:37,328 --> 00:31:38,963 SEEN AS A BIG GUY WITH A 937 00:31:38,963 --> 00:31:39,264 LAMBORGHINI. 938 00:31:39,264 --> 00:31:43,034 WOMEN ARE ACCESSORIES-- 939 00:31:43,034 --> 00:31:45,236 Bill: ISN'T HE UNDER 940 00:31:45,236 --> 00:31:46,571 ARRE 941 00:31:46,571 --> 00:31:48,072 HE'S FACING LEGAL TROUB 942 00:31:48,072 --> 00:31:50,241 HIS ABUSE OF WOMEN. 943 00:31:50,241 --> 00:31:52,543 HE STARTS OFF FINE HS 944 00:31:52,543 --> 00:31:54,612 ABOUT SELF-RELIANCE AND PHYSICAL 945 00:31:54,612 --> 00:31:55,546 FITNESS AND ACTION ORIENTED AND 946 00:31:55,546 --> 00:31:58,383 THAT LEADS TO A DARK PLACE. 947 00:31:58,383 --> 00:31:59,851 I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE AN 948 00:31:59,851 --> 00:32:01,519 UNDERSTANDABLE GAG REFLEX WHEN 949 00:32:01,519 --> 00:32:02,854 YOU START ADVOCATING FOR MEN. 950 00:32:02,854 --> 00:32:06,491 11 PEOPLE ON TIKTOK PRETENDING 951 00:32:06,491 --> 00:32:08,993 TO ADVOCATE-- SIMPLY VEILED 952 00:32:08,993 --> 00:32:10,295 MISOGYNY. 953 00:32:10,295 --> 00:32:14,666 WE NEED TO REDEFINE MASCULINITY. 954 00:32:14,666 --> 00:32:15,733 [APPLAUSE] 955 00:32:15,733 --> 00:32:17,535 WITH RESPECT TO MASCULINITY 956 00:32:17,535 --> 00:32:19,170 THERE IS NOTHING LESS MASCULINE 957 00:32:19,170 --> 00:32:19,637 FOR BEING ARRESTED FOR 958 00:32:19,637 --> 00:32:22,340 TRAFFICKING PEOPLE AND 959 00:32:22,340 --> 00:32:24,342 IALLY TONIGHT IN A 960 00:32:24,342 --> 00:32:25,777 ROMANIAN PRISON BEING SOMEBODY'S 961 00:32:25,777 --> 00:32:27,011 BITCH, THAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF 962 00:32:27,011 --> 00:32:27,312 MASCULINITY. 963 00:32:27,312 --> 00:32:29,547 [APPLAUSE] 964 00:32:29,547 --> 00:32:32,917 Bill: WHY ARE YOUNG MEN SOZY? 965 00:32:32,917 --> 00:32:34,319 THAT'S WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 966 00:32:34,319 --> 00:32:35,186 ARE THEY? 967 00:32:35,186 --> 00:32:36,120 Bill: YOU SEE THEM ON DATES 968 00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:38,890 IN SHORTS. 969 00:32:38,890 --> 00:32:39,724 [LAUGHTER] 970 00:32:39,724 --> 00:32:41,392 YES THEY ARE, STUFF LIKE THAT. 971 00:32:41,392 --> 00:32:44,495 LITTLE THINGS YOU COULD DO AND 972 00:32:44,495 --> 00:32:45,096 THEY JUST SEEM-- THEY WOULD 973 00:32:45,096 --> 00:32:51,302 RATHER SIT HOME AND JERK OFF TO 974 00:32:51,302 --> 00:32:53,905 I DON'T GET THE INERTIA THAT IS 975 00:32:53,905 --> 00:32:54,672 BUILT INTO THEM. 976 00:32:54,672 --> 00:32:56,307 I THINK A LOT OF IT IS OUR 977 00:32:56,307 --> 00:32:56,541 FAULT. 978 00:32:56,541 --> 00:32:58,209 I THINK MEN WHO HAVE ACHIEVED A 979 00:32:58,209 --> 00:33:04,749 CERTAIN LEVEL OFUCCESS-- THE 980 00:33:04,749 --> 00:33:05,216 ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF 981 00:33:05,216 --> 00:33:06,584 MASCULINITY IN MY VIEW IS TO 982 00:33:06,584 --> 00:33:08,653 TAKE A VESTED INTEREST IN THE 983 00:33:08,653 --> 00:33:09,654 WELL-BEING OF A YOUNG MAN OR A 984 00:33:09,654 --> 00:33:13,725 BOY WHO'S NOT YOURS. 985 00:33:13,725 --> 00:33:15,159 THE NUMBER ONE INDICATOR OF 986 00:33:15,159 --> 00:33:16,561 SUICIDE AMONG TEEN BOYS IS A 987 00:33:16,561 --> 00:33:20,298 FATHERLESS HOME. 988 00:33:20,298 --> 00:33:21,165 70% OF MEN WHO ARE INCARCERATED 989 00:33:21,165 --> 00:33:22,700 DIDN'T HAVE A M ROLE MODEL. 990 00:33:22,700 --> 00:33:25,603 IF WE WANT TO BETTER MEN, WE 991 00:33:25,603 --> 00:33:26,070 HAVE TO BE BETTER MEN. 992 00:33:26,070 --> 00:33:31,175 [APPLAUSE] 993 00:33:31,175 --> 00:33:32,810 YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT A MEETI 994 00:33:32,810 --> 00:33:35,213 DYNAMICS, I THINK IN HEALTH, IN 995 00:33:35,213 --> 00:33:35,980 HIGH SCHOOL WE SHOULD HAVE A 996 00:33:35,980 --> 00:33:37,949 COURSE IN MEETING DYNAMICS THAT 997 00:33:37,949 --> 00:33:39,150 TEACHES EVERYONE ESPECIALLY 998 00:33:39,150 --> 00:33:41,085 YOUNG MEN HOW TO APPROACH 999 00:33:41,085 --> 00:33:42,053 SOMEONE AND EXPRESS ROMANTIC 1000 00:33:42,053 --> 00:33:44,255 INTEREST AND THERE'S NOTHING 1001 00:33:44,255 --> 00:33:44,622 WRONG WITH THAT. 1002 00:33:44,622 --> 00:33:46,891 IS NOT THILE-- THIS IS 1003 00:33:46,891 --> 00:33:48,726 HARD PART-- MAKING THEM 1004 00:33:48,726 --> 00:33:48,993 FEEL SAFE. 1005 00:33:48,993 --> 00:33:53,931 THEY HAD BEEN TAUGHT TOXIC TOPR. 1006 00:33:53,931 --> 00:33:54,532 Bill: EVEN IF I WANTED TO 1007 00:33:54,532 --> 00:33:55,333 HELP YOU WITH THIS IT'S TOO 1008 00:33:55,333 --> 00:33:57,668 RISKY. 1009 00:33:57,668 --> 00:33:58,202 [LAUGHTER] 1010 00:33:58,202 --> 00:34:01,372 THEY WOULD JUST SAY I WAS A. 1011 00:34:01,372 --> 00:34:02,373 BILL MAHER SUDDENLY TOOK 1012 00:34:02,373 --> 00:34:04,442 INTEREST IN A 15-YEAR-OLD BOY. 1013 00:34:04,442 --> 00:34:04,709 [LAUGHTER] 1014 00:34:04,709 --> 00:34:10,681 THEY WOULD. 1015 00:34:10,681 --> 00:34:12,784 REEKING OF THIS, IT'S SPRINGTIME 1016 00:34:12,784 --> 00:34:13,918 A YOUNG MAN'S TURNS TOWARD 1017 00:34:13,918 --> 00:34:15,119 ROMANCE, I WAS NOT SURPRISED 1018 00:34:15,119 --> 00:34:17,422 WHEN I FOUND OUT THIS WEEK 1019 00:34:17,422 --> 00:34:18,823 RUPERT MURDOCH JUST GOT ENGAGED 1020 00:34:18,823 --> 00:34:22,894 FOR THE FIFTH TIME. 1021 00:34:22,894 --> 00:34:23,227 [LAUGHTER] 1022 00:34:23,227 --> 00:34:26,364 HE'S 92 YEARS YOUNG AND THE LAST 1023 00:34:26,364 --> 00:34:28,499 DIVORCE WAS ONLY SEVEN MONTHS 1024 00:34:28,499 --> 00:34:30,968 AGO. 1025 00:34:30,968 --> 00:34:31,769 THIS GUY REALLY WORKS FD 1026 00:34:31,769 --> 00:34:33,905 WE WANTED TO KNOW HOW HE DOES AT 1027 00:34:33,905 --> 00:34:34,205 IT. 1028 00:34:34,205 --> 00:34:35,506 APPARENTLY HE HAD WRITTEN THIS 1029 00:34:35,506 --> 00:34:38,476 BOOK ALREADY CALLED "HOW TO BAG 1030 00:34:38,476 --> 00:34:40,445 A FOX. 1031 00:34:40,445 --> 00:34:40,711 [LAUGHTER] 1032 00:34:40,711 --> 00:34:46,150 [APPLAUSE] 1033 00:34:46,150 --> 00:34:49,754 RUPERT MURDOCH'S PICKUP LINES 1034 00:34:49,754 --> 00:34:52,457 I WOULDN'T KICK 1035 00:34:52,457 --> 00:34:53,991 YOU OUT OF A WK-IN BATHTUB FOR 1036 00:34:53,991 --> 00:34:59,330 EATING CRACKERS. 1037 00:34:59,330 --> 00:35:00,364 I LIKE MY WOMEN LIKE I LIKE MY 1038 00:35:00,364 --> 00:35:00,631 [LAUGHTER] 1039 00:35:00,631 --> 00:35:04,101 NEWS: HEAVILY MADE UP. 1040 00:35:04,101 --> 00:35:04,368 [LAUGHTER] 1041 00:35:04,368 --> 00:35:04,969 I MAY NOT BE MUCH K AT, 1042 00:35:04,969 --> 00:35:07,572 BUT I'M A TERRIBLE PERSON. 1043 00:35:07,572 --> 00:35:07,839 [LAUGHTER] 1044 00:35:07,839 --> 00:35:08,506 [APPLAUSE] 1045 00:35:08,506 --> 00:35:09,774 ARE YOUR LEGS RIGHT-WING 1046 00:35:09,774 --> 00:35:11,209 PROPAGANDA? 1047 00:35:11,209 --> 00:35:16,848 BECAUSE I'D LOVE TO SPREAD "EM. 1048 00:35:16,848 --> 00:35:17,114 [LAUGHTER] 1049 00:35:17,114 --> 00:35:18,282 [APPLAUSE] 1050 00:35:18,282 --> 00:35:18,950 IS IT HOT IN HERE, OR IS IT JUST 1051 00:35:18,950 --> 00:35:21,819 THIS BLANKET ON MY 1052 00:35:21,819 --> 00:35:22,487 I DESTROYED DEMOCRACY, NOW IT'S 1053 00:35:22,487 --> 00:35:27,024 YOUR PUSSY'S TURN. 1054 00:35:27,024 --> 00:35:28,993 OH, NO! 1055 00:35:28,993 --> 00:35:29,260 [LAUGHTER] 1056 00:35:29,260 --> 00:35:31,863 [APPLAUSE] 1057 00:35:31,863 --> 00:35:32,563 WANT TO SEE MY PRICK? 1058 00:35:32,563 --> 00:35:38,436 TUCKER, GET OVER HERE! 1059 00:35:38,436 --> 00:35:38,970 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1060 00:35:38,970 --> 00:35:39,704 WANT TO SEE MY ASSHOLE? 1061 00:35:39,704 --> 00:35:46,978 HANNITY, GET OVER HERE! 1062 00:35:46,978 --> 00:35:49,480 [LAUGHTER] 1063 00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:50,548 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1064 00:35:50,548 --> 00:35:52,250 WE HAD YET ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE 1065 00:35:52,250 --> 00:35:54,118 RERTS THIS WEEK FROM THE U.N. 1066 00:35:54,118 --> 00:35:56,220 INTERGALTIC PANEL ON 1067 00:35:56,220 --> 00:35:58,322 CLIMATE-- THAT'S NOT THE REAL 1068 00:35:58,322 --> 00:36:00,091 NAME OF IT BUT IT'S SOMETHING 1069 00:36:00,091 --> 00:36:00,391 LIKE THAT. 1070 00:36:00,391 --> 00:36:01,626 TALK ABOUT GROUNDHOG DAY I FEEL 1071 00:36:01,626 --> 00:36:05,663 LIKE I'VE READ THIS REPORT EVERY 1072 00:36:05,663 --> 00:36:06,864 YEAR AND IT'S ALWAYS THE SAME. 1073 00:36:06,864 --> 00:36:11,702 THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN ENDICI 1074 00:36:11,702 --> 00:36:13,304 THINK DISASTER IS COMING BUT 1075 00:36:13,304 --> 00:36:15,573 THEY ALWAYS SEEM TO PREDICT VERY 1076 00:36:15,573 --> 00:36:16,374 SPECIFICALLY WHEN SOME OF THOSE 1077 00:36:16,374 --> 00:36:19,076 DATES HAVE ALREADY PASSED. 1078 00:36:19,076 --> 00:36:21,712 I THINK THEY SHOULD STOP DOING 1079 00:36:21,712 --> 00:36:24,549 THAT. 1080 00:36:24,549 --> 00:36:25,783 BECAUSE IT REALLY BLEEDS THEIR 1081 00:36:25,783 --> 00:36:27,051 CREDIBILITY. 1082 00:36:27,051 --> 00:36:28,886 KIND OF LIKE WHAT WESTERN 1083 00:36:28,886 --> 00:36:29,487 MEDICAL ESTABLISHMENT THOUGHT 1084 00:36:29,487 --> 00:36:32,957 ABOUT COVID-- DON'T LIE ABOUT 1085 00:36:32,957 --> 00:36:34,258 IT. 1086 00:36:34,258 --> 00:36:36,127 YOU WILL LOSE YOUR CREDIBILITY. 1087 00:36:36,127 --> 00:36:36,661 HERE'S WHAT I DON'T GET. 1088 00:36:36,661 --> 00:36:38,529 IN LIGHT OF THIS REPORT AND ALL 1089 00:36:38,529 --> 00:36:39,830 THE REPORTS WE'VE SEEN ABOUT 1090 00:36:39,830 --> 00:36:41,365 JUST THE OCEAN, WE CAN TAKE SOME 1091 00:36:41,365 --> 00:36:42,700 OF DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE 1092 00:36:42,700 --> 00:36:43,701 ENVIRONMENTS. 1093 00:36:43,701 --> 00:36:45,303 I READHAT PLASTIC IN THE OCEAN 1094 00:36:45,303 --> 00:36:48,539 WILL OUTWEIGH FISH BY 2050. 1095 00:36:48,539 --> 00:36:50,608 THE CORAL REEFS, THE BEES 1096 00:36:50,608 --> 00:36:54,278 BEES-- WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF 1097 00:36:54,278 --> 00:36:55,846 A SIXTH EXTINCTION WE ARE LOSING 1098 00:36:55,846 --> 00:36:59,850 ARE PEOPLE WHO WANT US TO HAVE 1099 00:36:59,850 --> 00:37:02,653 MORE BABIES. 1100 00:37:02,653 --> 00:37:05,523 CONNECT THOSE DOTS FOR ME. 1101 00:37:05,523 --> 00:37:06,724 I THINK THE PROBLEM WITH THE 1102 00:37:06,724 --> 00:37:08,793 ENVIRONMENT BASICALLY IS TOO 1103 00:37:08,793 --> 00:37:11,729 MANY PEOPLE AND PEOPLE BEING 1104 00:37:11,729 --> 00:37:13,197 ASSHOLES WE ARE WE ARE SELFISH 1105 00:37:13,197 --> 00:37:14,765 AND PIGGISH AND WE ARE SLOPPY 1106 00:37:14,765 --> 00:37:18,169 AND GOING TO USE WHAT WE 1107 00:37:18,169 --> 00:37:20,104 CAN WHILE WE ARE HERE. 1108 00:37:20,104 --> 00:37:22,139 HOW DOES MORE PEOPLE SOLVE THIS 1109 00:37:22,139 --> 00:37:23,274 PROBLEM WHICH SEEMS TO ME THE 1110 00:37:23,274 --> 00:37:25,509 NUMBER ONE PROBLEM? 1111 00:37:25,509 --> 00:37:28,312 [APPLAUSE] 1112 00:37:28,312 --> 00:37:31,916 WE DON'T NEED FEWER PEOPLE. 1113 00:37:31,916 --> 00:37:33,250 WE CAN ACHIEVE OUR CLIMATE 1114 00:37:33,250 --> 00:37:35,086 TARGETS NG OUR RESOURCES 1115 00:37:35,086 --> 00:37:37,254 MORE WISELY. 1116 00:37:37,254 --> 00:37:39,290 Bill: BUT WE DON'T. 1117 00:37:39,290 --> 00:37:42,860 BUT WE ARE TRYING. 1118 00:37:42,860 --> 00:37:44,128 THE IDEA THAT MATHEMATICALLY WE 1119 00:37:44,128 --> 00:37:47,164 NEED TAVE FEWER PEOPLE, FEWER 1120 00:37:47,164 --> 00:37:48,699 AMERICANS-- I'M RESISTANT TO 1121 00:37:48,699 --> 00:37:51,769 THE IDEA OF TELLING PEOPLE TO 1122 00:37:51,769 --> 00:37:52,203 HAVE FEWER CHILDREN. 1123 00:37:52,203 --> 00:37:54,705 I THINK THEY ARE WHY WE ARE 1124 00:37:54,705 --> 00:37:55,272 HERE. 1125 00:37:55,272 --> 00:37:56,774 IF WE MARSHAL OUR RESOURCES-- 1126 00:37:56,774 --> 00:37:57,942 Bill: THOUGHT ABOUT TELLING 1127 00:37:57,942 --> 00:37:59,777 THEM TO HAVE FEWER IT'S JUST NOT 1128 00:37:59,777 --> 00:38:01,512 ENCOURAGING THAT HAVE MORE. 1129 00:38:01,512 --> 00:38:02,380 CELEBRATING SPAWNING, THAT'S 1130 00:38:02,380 --> 00:38:05,683 WHAT I'M AGAINST. 1131 00:38:05,683 --> 00:38:08,085 [APPLAUSE] 1132 00:38:08,085 --> 00:38:08,786 DOING SOMETHING ABOUT 1133 00:38:08,786 --> 00:38:09,820 NICK CANNON WOULD BE A GOOD 1134 00:38:09,820 --> 00:38:12,323 START. 1135 00:38:12,323 --> 00:38:13,324 AUGHTER] 1136 00:38:13,324 --> 00:38:13,924 YOU DON'T HAVE TO CELEBRATE 1137 00:38:13,924 --> 00:38:16,927 IT BUT YOU SHOULD HAVE ECONOMIC 1138 00:38:16,927 --> 00:38:18,229 POLICIES TO MAKE IT MORE 1139 00:38:18,229 --> 00:38:19,897 DIFFICULT TO HAVE CHILDREN. 1140 00:38:19,897 --> 00:38:22,500 THIS REALLY GOOD RESEARCH THAT 1141 00:38:22,500 --> 00:38:25,302 SHOWS POVERTY IS INVERSELY 1142 00:38:25,302 --> 00:38:28,873 CORRELATED TO POPULATION GROWTH. 1143 00:38:28,873 --> 00:38:30,174 IT WASN'T POPULATION GROWTH THAT 1144 00:38:30,174 --> 00:38:32,176 HURT THE ENVIRONMENT IT WAS 1145 00:38:32,176 --> 00:38:33,577 LIFESTYLE CHOICES AND ENERGY 1146 00:38:33,577 --> 00:38:34,111 CHOICES OF THE WEALTHIEST 1147 00:38:34,111 --> 00:38:34,345 NATIONS. 1148 00:38:34,345 --> 00:38:36,747 [APPLAUSE] 1149 00:38:36,747 --> 00:38:38,949 IF YOU WANT TO FIND REASONS NOT 1150 00:38:38,949 --> 00:38:40,885 TO HAVE THE INVESTMENTS THAT ARE 1151 00:38:40,885 --> 00:38:41,886 REQUIRED TO MOVE TO RENEWABLES, 1152 00:38:41,886 --> 00:38:43,521 LET YOUR ECONOMY GO INTO DECLINE 1153 00:38:43,521 --> 00:38:46,691 WHICH IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN 1154 00:38:46,691 --> 00:38:47,658 NATIONS GOING TO POPULATION 1155 00:38:47,658 --> 00:38:47,892 DE 1156 00:38:47,892 --> 00:38:51,495 IT COMES DOWN TO WHAT KIND OFWO. 1157 00:38:51,495 --> 00:38:51,962 CURRENT TRENDS OF THE 1158 00:38:51,962 --> 00:38:52,596 TURN-OF-THE-CENTURY THERE'S GOT 1159 00:38:52,596 --> 00:38:54,632 TO BE SIX TIMES PEOPLE OVER THE 1160 00:38:54,632 --> 00:38:57,868 AGE OF 60 AND HALF UNDER THE AGE 1161 00:38:57,868 --> 00:38:58,102 OF FIVE. 1162 00:38:58,102 --> 00:39:00,638 NURSERY SCHOOLS ARE GOING TO 1163 00:39:00,638 --> 00:39:03,474 BECOME LIKE ZOOS WITH OLD PEOPLE 1164 00:39:03,474 --> 00:39:04,442 STARING FOR THE FENCES WITH 1165 00:39:04,442 --> 00:39:05,409 CREATURES THEY DON'T SEE IN THE 1166 00:39:05,409 --> 00:39:11,148 ALLED YOUNG PEOPLE. 1167 00:39:11,148 --> 00:39:13,918 OPTIMISM, TEN, ONE IS A FUCKING 1168 00:39:13,918 --> 00:39:15,019 GENIUS IT S THIS SHIT OUT 1169 00:39:15,019 --> 00:39:16,287 TO. 1170 00:39:16,287 --> 00:39:18,289 WE NEED TOOUTH.OK AT THE GRAMMYL 1171 00:39:18,289 --> 00:39:20,124 SCIENTISTS, THEY GET THEM IN 1172 00:39:20,124 --> 00:39:20,758 THEIR 50s AND 60s, IT'S 1173 00:39:20,758 --> 00:39:24,862 BASED ON WORK IN THEIR 20s. 1174 00:39:24,862 --> 00:39:26,831 WE NEED A YOUTHFUL CULTURE, WE 1175 00:39:26,831 --> 00:39:27,832 NEED MORG PEOPLE, FULL 1176 00:39:27,832 --> 00:39:28,032 STOP. 1177 00:39:28,032 --> 00:39:30,868 [APPLAUSE] 1178 00:39:30,868 --> 00:39:32,837 Bill: I'M AMUSED BY THESE 1179 00:39:32,837 --> 00:39:33,938 ARGUMENTS WEOPLE CONCEDE 1180 00:39:33,938 --> 00:39:35,072 THIS BIG PART OF THE POINTS BUT 1181 00:39:35,072 --> 00:39:37,975 THEN GO ASIDE FROM THAT-- ASIDE 1182 00:39:37,975 --> 00:39:40,010 FROM THE FACT THAT WE CAN'T GROW 1183 00:39:40,010 --> 00:39:42,346 WATER, IS ONLY SO MUCH. 1184 00:39:42,346 --> 00:39:43,380 THERE'S ALREADY TOO LITTLE FOR 1185 00:39:43,380 --> 00:39:45,850 LOTS OF PEOPLE AND LOTS OF 1186 00:39:45,850 --> 00:39:46,083 PLACES. 1187 00:39:46,083 --> 00:39:47,952 ALREADY PEOPLE ARE STARVING AND 1188 00:39:47,952 --> 00:39:52,490 THAT.S-- YOU CAN'T KEEP UP WITH 1189 00:39:52,490 --> 00:39:53,691 I KNOW WE HAVE ENOUGHCE WE 1190 00:39:53,691 --> 00:39:54,892 JUST DON'T HAVE ENOUGH 1191 00:39:54,892 --> 00:39:55,159 RESOURCES. 1192 00:39:55,159 --> 00:39:56,827 IT'S NOT GOING TO CHANGE IN THE 1193 00:39:56,827 --> 00:39:58,262 TIME FRAME YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT 1194 00:39:58,262 --> 00:39:59,029 UNLESS THERE'S SOME AMAZ 1195 00:39:59,029 --> 00:39:59,797 TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH THAT 1196 00:39:59,797 --> 00:40:01,899 WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT. 1197 00:40:01,899 --> 00:40:03,868 FOOD INSECURITY IS INVERSELY 1198 00:40:03,868 --> 00:40:04,969 CORRELATED WITH POPULATION 1199 00:40:04,969 --> 00:40:05,202 GROWTH. 1200 00:40:05,202 --> 00:40:07,805 THE MORE PEOPLE WE HAVE HAD LESS 1201 00:40:07,805 --> 00:40:10,274 FOOD INSECURITY. 1202 00:40:10,274 --> 00:40:10,775 ABJECT POVERTY HAS BEEN 1203 00:40:10,775 --> 00:40:11,275 INVERSELY CORRELATED TO 1204 00:40:11,275 --> 00:40:15,713 POON GROWTH. 1205 00:40:15,713 --> 00:40:16,714 PEOPLE IN LOVING SECURE 1206 00:40:16,714 --> 00:40:18,682 HOUSEHOLDS WITH GOOD EDUCATIONS 1207 00:40:18,682 --> 00:40:19,350 AND ECONOMIC VIABILITY SOLVE 1208 00:40:19,350 --> 00:40:20,317 MORE PROBLEMS AND THEY CREATE. 1209 00:40:20,317 --> 00:40:21,886 Bill: WE GET THAT BY HAVING 1210 00:40:21,886 --> 00:40:24,121 MORE PEOPLE BECAUSE ONE OF THEM 1211 00:40:24,121 --> 00:40:25,422 COULD BE A GENIUS? 1212 00:40:25,422 --> 00:40:27,758 MAYBE NOT HAVING POPULATION 1213 00:40:27,758 --> 00:40:28,058 DECLINE. 1214 00:40:28,058 --> 00:40:29,160 ITALY AND JAPAN ARE IN 1215 00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:29,994 POPULATION DECLINE, THEY'RE 1216 00:40:29,994 --> 00:40:31,896 GOING TO FIND REASONS TO CUT 1217 00:40:31,896 --> 00:40:32,763 INVES IN RENEWABLE ENERGY. 1218 00:40:32,763 --> 00:40:33,631 Bill: IS THERE IMIT TO 1219 00:40:33,631 --> 00:40:36,200 HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN BE ON THE 1220 00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:36,467 EARTH? 1221 00:40:36,467 --> 00:40:38,869 AT SOME POINT WHEN WE HIT THE 1222 00:40:38,869 --> 00:40:41,839 MAX WHICH IS SUPPOSED TO BE 110 1223 00:40:41,839 --> 00:40:42,873 OR 120 IT PROBABLY MAKES SENSE 1224 00:40:42,873 --> 00:40:44,275 TO THINK ABOUT NOT HAVING 1225 00:40:44,275 --> 00:40:47,711 POLICIES TO ENCOURAGE MORE KIDS. 1226 00:40:47,711 --> 00:40:49,113 UNTIL THEN, IF YOU WANT TO 1227 00:40:49,113 --> 00:40:51,081 POPULATION NOT ONLYECLINE BUT 1228 00:40:51,081 --> 00:40:52,049 DENIGRATION. 1229 00:40:52,049 --> 00:40:53,184 40% OF GOVERNMENT RESOURCES GO 1230 00:40:53,184 --> 00:40:55,319 TO FUNDING SENIORS IT'S ABOUT TO 1231 00:40:55,319 --> 00:40:55,553 BE 50%. 1232 00:40:55,553 --> 00:41:00,491 THE AVERAGE AGE OF AMERICANS IS 1233 00:41:00,491 --> 00:41:03,427 38, AMERICA IS ABOUT TO BECOME A 1234 00:41:03,427 --> 00:41:04,395 TV SHOW A CROSS BETWEEN THE 1235 00:41:04,395 --> 00:41:10,134 WALKING DEAD IN THE GIRLS. 1236 00:41:10,134 --> 00:41:11,735 [LAUGHTER] 1237 00:41:11,735 --> 00:41:15,539 [APPLAUS 1238 00:41:15,539 --> 00:41:17,308 Bill: IT'S YOU SOON. 1239 00:41:17,308 --> 00:41:19,677 I'M DOWN WITH IT.D YOU KNOW ? 1240 00:41:19,677 --> 00:41:22,479 I WANT GRANDKIDS. 1241 00:41:22,479 --> 00:41:26,350 MY ADVICE TO ANY YOUNG PERSON IS 1242 00:41:26,350 --> 00:41:27,484 THAT-- IT COSTS A THIRD OF A 1243 00:41:27,484 --> 00:41:29,153 MILLION DOLLARS TO HAVE A KID WE 1244 00:41:29,153 --> 00:41:30,654 HAVE MADE IT INCREASINGLY HARD, 1245 00:41:30,654 --> 00:41:31,789 WE HAVE MADE IT EXPENSIVE FOR 1246 00:41:31,789 --> 00:41:32,957 FAMILIES TO HAVE KIDS, PEOPLE 1247 00:41:32,957 --> 00:41:34,592 SAY EY DON'T WANT KIDS I DON'T 1248 00:41:34,592 --> 00:41:35,292 THINK THAT'S TRUE. 1249 00:41:35,292 --> 00:41:36,327 I THINK THEY CAN'T AFFORD TO 1250 00:41:36,327 --> 00:41:39,563 HAVE THEM IN MY ADVICE TO EVERY 1251 00:41:39,563 --> 00:41:40,531 YOUNG PERSON-- LIKE YOU I DID 1252 00:41:40,531 --> 00:41:41,966 NOT WANT TO HAVE KIDS, HAVING 1253 00:41:41,966 --> 00:41:44,802 KIDS HAS BEEN ABSOLUTELY THE 1254 00:41:44,802 --> 00:41:46,103 BEST THING I COULD HAVE DONE 1255 00:41:46,103 --> 00:41:48,405 THAT RUINED MY LIFE. 1256 00:41:48,405 --> 00:41:53,177 HAVE KIDS. 1257 00:41:53,177 --> 00:41:53,444 [LAUGHTER] 1258 00:41:53,444 --> 00:41:53,711 [APPLAUSE] 1259 00:41:53,711 --> 00:41:55,846 WE ARE ALREADY CUTTING CARBON 1260 00:41:55,846 --> 00:41:57,114 EMISSIONS PER CAPITA, THERE'S 1261 00:41:57,114 --> 00:41:58,382 NOT A MAGICAL SOLUTION THAT WE 1262 00:41:58,382 --> 00:41:59,550 NE TO. 1263 00:41:59,550 --> 00:42:00,618 WE HAVE THE SOLUTIONS BUT WE 1264 00:42:00,618 --> 00:42:01,585 HAVE TO IMPLEMENT THEM. 1265 00:42:01,585 --> 00:42:03,888 Bill: IT'S MORE PEOPLE 1266 00:42:03,888 --> 00:42:05,422 EATING MEAT. 1267 00:42:05,422 --> 00:42:07,291 IF MORE PEOPLE G 1268 00:42:07,291 --> 00:42:08,359 REFRIGERATION, MORE PEOPLEIVING. 1269 00:42:08,359 --> 00:42:12,830 GO VEGAN. 1270 00:42:12,830 --> 00:42:19,703 >[LAUGHTER]>> Bill: I'M NOT EVEO 1271 00:42:19,703 --> 00:42:20,104 FLY COMMERCIAL. 1272 00:42:20,104 --> 00:42:22,239 ANY TIME YOU TAKE ONE 1273 00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:23,307 SUBSTANCE AND TRANSFER TO 1274 00:42:23,307 --> 00:42:25,309 ANOTHER THERE ARE A MISSIONS. 1275 00:42:25,309 --> 00:42:25,843 TAKE FOSSIL FUELS AND YOU 1276 00:42:25,843 --> 00:42:30,314 FUELS YOU GET OMISSIONS,OSSIL 1277 00:42:30,314 --> 00:42:31,949 PLANT-BASED CALORIES TO MEET 1278 00:42:31,949 --> 00:42:33,717 BASED CALORIES YOU GET 1279 00:42:33,717 --> 00:42:34,652 DEFORESTATION AND METHANE. 1280 00:42:34,652 --> 00:42:37,054 THE ADMISSION WE DON'T TALK 1281 00:42:37,054 --> 00:42:39,123 ABOUT IS TAKING ADVERTISING TO 1282 00:42:39,123 --> 00:42:41,325 MONEY, IT CREATES DISSENT, 1283 00:42:41,325 --> 00:42:42,559 POLARIZATION, WEAPONIZATION, 1284 00:42:42,559 --> 00:42:43,961 TEENS ARE DEPRESS AND IT'S 1285 00:42:43,961 --> 00:42:44,895 MORE DANGEROUS THAN CARBON 1286 00:42:44,895 --> 00:42:46,463 EMISSIONS BECAUSE WE CAN'T HAVE 1287 00:42:46,463 --> 00:42:47,698 A SOBERT CONVERSATION 1288 00:42:47,698 --> 00:42:50,401 ABOUT WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE 1289 00:42:50,401 --> 00:42:51,201 BETHE ALGORITHMS PIT US 1290 00:42:51,201 --> 00:42:53,737 AGAINST EACH OTHER. 1291 00:42:53,737 --> 00:42:54,238 Bill: YOU SAW WHAT'S 1292 00:42:54,238 --> 00:42:57,908 HAPPENING IN-- 1293 00:42:57,908 --> 00:42:58,542 EMMANUEL MACRON, THEY ARE 1294 00:42:58,542 --> 00:43:01,178 RAISING THE AGE YOU CAN RETIRE 1295 00:43:01,178 --> 00:43:04,915 FROM 62-- PARIS IS BURNING. 1296 00:43:04,915 --> 00:43:06,250 THERE'S GARBAGE IN THE STREETS 1297 00:43:06,250 --> 00:43:07,618 AND RIOTING ANDIRES AND A 1298 00:43:07,618 --> 00:43:10,154 BILLION PEOPLE ARE UP IN ARMS 1299 00:43:10,154 --> 00:43:10,454 ABOUT THIS. 1300 00:43:10,454 --> 00:43:13,357 EVEN THE MIMES WON'T SHUT UP 1301 00:43:13,357 --> 00:43:15,392 ABOUT IT. 1302 00:43:15,392 --> 00:43:15,659 [LAUGHTER] 1303 00:43:15,659 --> 00:43:20,864 [APPLAUSE] 1304 00:43:20,864 --> 00:43:23,634 IT'S NOT A MINE, IT'S A-- A 1305 00:43:23,634 --> 00:43:26,470 PORN STAR. 1306 00:43:26,470 --> 00:43:26,971 SORRY, GO AHEAD TO. 1307 00:43:26,971 --> 00:43:28,372 Bill: WHEN I SEE WHAT YOU 1308 00:43:28,372 --> 00:43:30,841 WERE TRYINO. 1309 00:43:30,841 --> 00:43:32,042 [LAUGHTER] 1310 00:43:32,042 --> 00:43:33,711 IN THIS CNTRY, 62. 1311 00:43:33,711 --> 00:43:36,613 WE GET IT AT 67 I THINK, THEY 1312 00:43:36,613 --> 00:43:38,716 MANAGED TO RAISE IT FROM 65 TO 1313 00:43:38,716 --> 00:43:41,185 MECCA 67 AND NOW THEY ARE 1314 00:43:41,185 --> 00:43:41,885 TALKING ABOUT RAISING 1315 00:43:41,885 --> 00:43:43,053 SOCIAL SECURITY AGE TO 70 1316 00:43:43,053 --> 00:43:45,789 BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE LIVING LONGE 1317 00:43:45,789 --> 00:43:46,924 LONGER. 1318 00:43:46,924 --> 00:43:50,494 WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT? 1319 00:43:50,494 --> 00:43:52,463 NOT EVERYBODY IS LIVING 1320 00:43:52,463 --> 00:43:55,065 LONGER, IF YOU LOOK AT MEN BORN 1321 00:43:55,065 --> 00:43:56,767 IN 1930 THE WEALTHIEST OF THEM 1322 00:43:56,767 --> 00:43:58,302 LIVED ABOUT FIVE YEARS LONGER 1323 00:43:58,302 --> 00:43:58,936 THAN THE LOWEST INCOME. 1324 00:43:58,936 --> 00:44:00,938 IF YOU LOOK AT MEN BORN IN 1960 1325 00:44:00,938 --> 00:44:04,975 THE AGE GAP HAS INCREASED TO 13 1326 00:44:04,975 --> 00:44:05,642 YEARS. 1327 00:44:05,642 --> 00:44:07,745 FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE WORKING WHO 1328 00:44:07,745 --> 00:44:09,680 DON'T HAVE A HIGH SCHOOL 1329 00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:10,748 DIPLOMA, THEY WERE TIRED - 60% 1330 00:44:10,748 --> 00:44:12,783 RETIRE AS SOON AS THEY CAN TAKE 1331 00:44:12,783 --> 00:44:14,952 SOME OF THEIR SOCIAL SECURITY AT 1332 00:44:14,952 --> 00:44:15,719 62. 1333 00:44:15,719 --> 00:44:17,087 THERE IS NO NEED TO RAISE THE 1334 00:44:17,087 --> 00:44:18,722 RETIREMENT AGE, WE CAN RAISE ALL 1335 00:44:18,722 --> 00:44:22,126 THE TAX MONEY WE NEED TO--S 1336 00:44:22,126 --> 00:44:23,861 IS VERY NERDY-- BY LIFTING THE 1337 00:44:23,861 --> 00:44:26,063 FIGHT THAT CAP AND MAKING ALL 1338 00:44:26,063 --> 00:44:27,231 WAGES SUBJECT TO PAYROLL TAXES. 1339 00:44:27,231 --> 00:44:30,167 IF ANYTHING WE SHOULD BE 1340 00:44:30,167 --> 00:44:31,702 CONSIDERING LOWERING THE 1341 00:44:31,702 --> 00:44:33,103 RETIREMENT AGE. 1342 00:44:33,103 --> 00:44:34,571 PEOPLE LOVE SOCIAL SECURITY. 1343 00:44:34,571 --> 00:44:35,739 REPUBLICANS LOVE IT. 1344 00:44:35,739 --> 00:44:36,940 DEMOCRATS WANTED, PEOPLE DID NOT 1345 00:44:36,940 --> 00:44:39,610 WANT THIS T HAPPEN AND IT FEELS 1346 00:44:39,610 --> 00:44:41,545 GROUNDHOG DAY EVERY COUPLE 1347 00:44:41,545 --> 00:44:44,281 YEARS WE HAVE THIS CONVERSATION 1348 00:44:44,281 --> 00:44:45,482 ABOUT A FICTIONAL ACCOUNTING 1349 00:44:45,482 --> 00:44:49,286 PROBLEM THEY HAVE CREATED AND WE 1350 00:44:49,286 --> 00:44:50,487 WILL KEEP HAVING UNTIL THE HEAT 1351 00:44:50,487 --> 00:44:51,488 DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE. 1352 00:44:51,488 --> 00:44:54,525 LET PEOPLE RETIRE WITH DIGNITY. 1353 00:44:54,525 --> 00:44:58,829 [APPLAUSE] 1354 00:44:58,829 --> 00:44:59,763 Bill: SOCIAL SECURITY 1355 00:44:59,763 --> 00:45:01,165 ORIGINALLY SOMETHING LIKE 42 1356 00:45:01,165 --> 00:45:04,668 PEOPLE WERE PAYING INTO WORKER, 1357 00:45:04,668 --> 00:45:06,336 NOW IT'S 3-1. 1358 00:45:06,336 --> 00:45:12,276 I RUNS OUT OF MONEY IN 2023. 1359 00:45:12,276 --> 00:45:14,545 Bill: IT'S 2023 NOW. 1360 00:45:14,545 --> 00:45:17,281 2033-- IN TEN YEARS WE HAVE 1361 00:45:17,281 --> 00:45:18,282 A FUNDING CRISIS. 1362 00:45:18,282 --> 00:45:19,983 EITHER YOU REDUCE BENEFITS OR 1363 00:45:19,983 --> 00:45:20,851 INCREASE FUNDING. 1364 00:45:20,851 --> 00:45:24,721 WAGING THE AGENT TO 70 WOULD 1365 00:45:24,721 --> 00:45:26,457 INCREASE COSTS BY 40%. 1366 00:45:26,457 --> 00:45:27,891 THE MOST SUCCESSFUL PROGRAM IN 1367 00:45:27,891 --> 00:45:30,160 HISTORY SENIOR PROPERTY HAS BEEN 1368 00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:31,161 ELIMINATED. 1369 00:45:31,161 --> 00:45:33,630 66%, FUNDS PEOPLE MAKING LESS 1370 00:45:33,630 --> 00:45:37,034 THAN 23,000 A YEAR. 1371 00:45:37,034 --> 00:45:38,502 THE COMMENTS ARE EXACTLY RIGHT 1372 00:45:38,502 --> 00:45:38,669 ON. 1373 00:45:38,669 --> 00:45:40,571 YOU RAISE THE CAP AND MAKE 1374 00:45:40,571 --> 00:45:42,873 $160,000 A YEAR PAY $10,000 IN 1375 00:45:42,873 --> 00:45:44,675 SOCIAL SECURITY TAXES AND TO 1376 00:45:44,675 --> 00:45:46,143 MAKE 1.6 MILLION COMING TO PAY 1377 00:45:46,143 --> 00:45:47,077 $10,000. 1378 00:45:47,077 --> 00:45:49,546 YOUR TAX RATE GOESROM 6% TO 1379 00:45:49,546 --> 00:45:51,448 0.6 TRICK OF THE OTHER 1380 00:45:51,448 --> 00:45:51,915 INNOVATIVE SOLUTION IS 1381 00:45:51,915 --> 00:45:53,851 IMMIGRATION REFORM. 1382 00:45:53,851 --> 00:45:55,886 IMMIGRANTS PAY INTO 1383 00:45:55,886 --> 00:46:00,524 SOCIAL SECURITY, SOMETIMES YOU 1384 00:46:00,524 --> 00:46:04,228 WORK LESS THAN TEN YEARS-- YOU 1385 00:46:04,228 --> 00:46:06,196 FORCE THEM TO PAY IN, THEY ARE 1386 00:46:06,196 --> 00:46:10,033 NOW ELIGIBLE FOR BENEFITS. 1387 00:46:10,033 --> 00:46:15,973 IMMIGRATION REFORM, TAX POLICY, 1388 00:46:15,973 --> 00:46:18,308 PROBLEM SOLVED. 1389 00:46:18,308 --> 00:46:20,077 PEOPLE WHO WANT TO RAISE 1390 00:46:20,077 --> 00:46:21,745 RETIREMENT AGE AND LOWER 1391 00:46:21,745 --> 00:46:22,513 BENEFITS ARE FETISHISTS THERE 1392 00:46:22,513 --> 00:46:24,915 A TEST WITH THIS IDEA. 1393 00:46:24,915 --> 00:46:26,583 THE MONEY IS THERE AND PEOPLE 1394 00:46:26,583 --> 00:46:28,285 WHO WANT TO RAISE THE RETIREMENT 1395 00:46:28,285 --> 00:46:30,787 AGE ARE PEOPLE WHO LOVE THEIR 1396 00:46:30,787 --> 00:46:35,192 JOBS. 1397 00:46:35,192 --> 00:46:37,928 PEOPLE WHO STAND ON THEIR 1398 00:46:37,928 --> 00:46:38,662 WORKING ALL DAY DON'T WANT THEIR 1399 00:46:38,662 --> 00:46:41,899 BENEFITS TAKEN AWAY. 1400 00:46:41,899 --> 00:46:45,035 80-YEAR-OLDS IN CONGRESS-- 1401 00:46:45,035 --> 00:46:47,905 Bill: WE ARE ALL AGREED TO. 1402 00:46:47,905 --> 00:46:51,008 THANK YOU PANEL, VERY GOOD TO.T. 1403 00:46:51,008 --> 00:46:55,379 ♪ ♪ 1404 00:46:55,379 --> 00:46:55,846 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1405 00:46:55,846 --> 00:46:56,480 NEW RULE: THE AMERICANS SLAMMING 1406 00:46:56,480 --> 00:46:57,114 THIS K-POP SINGER FOR WEARING A 1407 00:46:57,114 --> 00:46:58,382 Q-ANON SHIRT WITHOUT KNOWING 1408 00:46:58,382 --> 00:46:58,982 WHAT IT MEANS HAVE TO GET OVER 1409 00:46:58,982 --> 00:47:00,350 IT. 1410 00:47:00,350 --> 00:47:01,451 FOR ONE THING, IT'S THT 1411 00:47:01,451 --> 00:47:02,252 TIME ANYONE'S LOOKED GOOD IN A 1412 00:47:02,252 --> 00:47:07,724 Q-ANON SHIRT. 1413 00:47:07,724 --> 00:47:08,225 [CHEERS PPLAUSE] 1414 00:47:08,225 --> 00:47:09,193 AND ALSO HALF OF YOU ARE WALKING 1415 00:47:09,193 --> 00:47:10,394 AROUND WITH CHINESE CHARACTERS 1416 00:47:10,394 --> 00:47:10,994 TATTOOED ON YOUR ARM THAT SAY, 1417 00:47:10,994 --> 00:47:17,367 "MY MOM FUCKED A PANDA 1418 00:47:17,367 --> 00:47:17,634 [LAUGHTER] 1419 00:47:17,634 --> 00:47:18,569 [APPLAUSE] 1420 00:47:18,569 --> 00:47:19,336 NEW RULE: NOW THAT THIS SCHOOL 1421 00:47:19,336 --> 00:47:20,204 LUNCH LADY IN CONNECTICUT HAS 1422 00:47:20,204 --> 00:47:22,739 BEEN ARRESTED FOR SENDING NUDEOA 1423 00:47:22,739 --> 00:47:24,675 14-YEAR-OLD, THAT KID HAS TO 1424 00:47:24,675 --> 00:47:32,082 TELL US, "WHAT'S YOUR SECRET?" 1425 00:47:32,082 --> 00:47:32,349 [LAUGHTER] 1426 00:47:32,349 --> 00:47:33,350 [APPLAUSE] 1427 00:47:33,350 --> 00:47:34,084 I COULDN'T GET MY SCHOOL LUNCH 1428 00:47:34,084 --> 00:47:34,751 LADY TO GIVE ME EXTRA TATER 1429 00:47:34,751 --> 00:47:37,020 TOTS. 1430 00:47:37,020 --> 00:47:37,988 AND BE CAREFUL-- LUNCH LADIES' 1431 00:47:37,988 --> 00:47:38,855 IDEA OF PROTECTION IS WEING A 1432 00:47:38,855 --> 00:47:45,896 HAIR NET. 1433 00:47:45,896 --> 00:47:46,230 [LAUGHTER] 1434 00:47:46,230 --> 00:47:50,434 [APPLAUSE] 1435 00:47:50,434 --> 00:47:51,134 NEW RULE: HOME DEPOT MUST TELL 1436 00:47:51,134 --> 00:47:51,969 ME WHY THEY CHOSE THIS WOMAN TO 1437 00:47:51,969 --> 00:47:52,803 BE IN THEIR RECRUITMEN AD. 1438 00:47:52,803 --> 00:47:54,404 SHE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE SHE'SADY R 1439 00:47:54,404 --> 00:47:55,606 DEPARTMENT-- SHE LOOKS LIKE 1440 00:47:55,606 --> 00:47:58,642 SOMEONE IS HOLDING A GUN TO HER 1441 00:47:58,642 --> 00:48:00,711 HEAD OFF-CAMERA. 1442 00:48:00,711 --> 00:48:01,812 "HOME DEPOT-- SATISFACTION 1443 00:48:01,812 --> 00:48:03,347 GUED, OR WE'LL BLOW HER 1444 00:48:03,347 --> 00:48:10,787 FUCKING HEAD OFF." 1445 00:48:10,787 --> 00:48:11,054 [LAUGHTER] 1446 00:48:11,054 --> 00:48:11,321 [APPLAUSE] 1447 00:48:11,321 --> 00:48:12,623 NEW RULE: NOW THAT BERLIN IS 1448 00:48:12,623 --> 00:48:15,692 ALLOWING WOMEN TO GO TOPLESS IN 1449 00:48:15,692 --> 00:48:16,627 PUBLIC SWIMMING POOLS, WE MUST 1450 00:48:16,627 --> 00:48:20,764 FOLLOW THEIR LEAD. 1451 00:48:20,764 --> 00:48:21,965 BECAUSE, AMERICA-- I LOVE YOU, 1452 00:48:21,965 --> 00:48:26,003 BUT WE'RE LATE ON EVERYTHING- 1453 00:48:26,003 --> 00:48:27,037 LEGAL WEED, ASSISTED SUICIDE, 1454 00:48:27,037 --> 00:48:28,205 FEMALE HEADS OF STATE, HIGH 1455 00:48:28,205 --> 00:48:29,172 SPEED RAIL, PAYING WAITERS 1456 00:48:29,172 --> 00:48:30,207 ENOUGH SO THEY DON'T HAVE TO 1457 00:48:30,207 --> 00:48:32,709 LIVE ON TIPS. 1458 00:48:32,709 --> 00:48:33,577 LET'S NOT BE LATE ON THIS. 1459 00:48:33,577 --> 00:48:34,511 IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE THAT 1460 00:48:34,511 --> 00:48:37,581 THIS IS ILLEGAL. 1461 00:48:37,581 --> 00:48:43,954 WHILE THIS IS NOT. 1462 00:48:43,954 --> 00:48:46,056 [LAUGHTER] 1463 00:48:46,056 --> 00:48:46,523 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1464 00:48:46,523 --> 00:48:48,191 NEW RULE: IF YOU WEAR THIS SHIRT 1465 00:48:48,191 --> 00:48:49,226 THAT SAYS, "I ASKED GOD TO MAKE 1466 00:48:49,226 --> 00:48:50,527 ME A BETTER MAN, HE SENT ME MY 1467 00:48:50,527 --> 00:48:52,629 SON. 1468 00:48:52,629 --> 00:48:54,665 I ASKED GOD TO MAKE ME AN ANGEL, 1469 00:48:54,665 --> 00:48:55,732 HE SENT ME MY DAUGHTER"-- YOU 1470 00:48:55,732 --> 00:49:02,572 HAVE TO GET A OMY. 1471 00:49:02,572 --> 00:49:02,839 [LAUGHTER] 1472 00:49:02,839 --> 00:49:03,240 [APPLAUSE] 1473 00:49:03,240 --> 00:49:03,807 BECAUSE CLEARLY YOU DON'T 1474 00:49:03,807 --> 00:49:04,541 UNDERSTAND THE BASICS OF HUMAN 1475 00:49:04,541 --> 00:49:05,642 REPRODUCTION. 1476 00:49:05,642 --> 00:49:06,376 AND ALSO THAT'S WAY TOO MANY 1477 00:49:06,376 --> 00:49:08,578 WORDS FOR A SHIRT. 1478 00:49:08,578 --> 00:49:10,847 AT LEAST YOUR WIFE'S SHIRT KEEPS 1479 00:49:10,847 --> 00:49:19,690 IT BRIEF. 1480 00:49:19,690 --> 00:49:20,324 [LAUGHTER] 1481 00:49:20,324 --> 00:49:20,791 [CHEERS AND AP] 1482 00:49:20,791 --> 00:49:24,094 AND FINALLY, NEW RULE. 1483 00:49:24,094 --> 00:49:24,928 TO ALL THE PEOPLE 1484 00:49:24,928 --> 00:49:25,529 WHO'VE BEEN TELLING ME, "BILL, 1485 00:49:25,529 --> 00:49:29,199 YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ON NEPO 1486 00:49:29,199 --> 00:49:30,934 BABIES" SHUT UP. 1487 00:49:30,934 --> 00:49:31,902 I DON'T HAVE TO. 1488 00:49:31,902 --> 00:49:33,236 BUT OKAY, HERE IT IS. 1489 00:49:33,236 --> 00:49:34,204 AND IF YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE 1490 00:49:34,204 --> 00:49:35,672 TERM YET, A BRIEF MONTAGE 1491 00:49:35,672 --> 00:49:37,441 OF ALL THE NEPO BABIES IN THE 1492 00:49:37,441 --> 00:49:38,608 ACTING PROFESSION BEGINNING WITH 1493 00:49:38,608 --> 00:49:42,179 DOUGLAS FAIRBANKS, JR. 1494 00:49:42,179 --> 00:49:43,447 THAT'S RIGHT, THEIR MOMS AND 1495 00:49:43,447 --> 00:49:45,415 DADS WERE ALL STARS TOO. 1496 00:49:45,415 --> 00:49:47,651 IT DOESN'T MAKE THEM BAD PEOPLE 1497 00:49:47,651 --> 00:49:49,519 OR UNTALENTED-- IN FACT, SOME 1498 00:49:49,519 --> 00:49:52,389 NEPO BABIES DID VERY WELL IN 1499 00:49:52,389 --> 00:49:53,957 THEIR FIRST BIG ROLES; BUT LET'S 1500 00:49:53,957 --> 00:49:55,325 ALSO ADMIT THAT THEY WEREN'T THE 1501 00:49:55,325 --> 00:49:56,460 ONLY ONES WHO COULD HAVE DONE 1502 00:49:56,460 --> 00:49:57,828 IT, BUT EN IT'S BETWEEN A FEW 1503 00:49:57,828 --> 00:49:59,029 GOOD P AND ONE OF THEM IS 1504 00:49:59,029 --> 00:50:01,031 GONNA GET YOU THIS KIND OF 1505 00:50:01,031 --> 00:50:01,965 PUBLICITY WHO DO YOU THINK IS 1506 00:50:01,965 --> 00:50:04,167 GONNA GET THE PART? 1507 00:50:04,167 --> 00:50:06,002 SO ENJOY THE GOOD LIFE, NE 1508 00:50:06,002 --> 00:50:10,941 JUST DON'T SAY YOU DIDN'T HAVE A 1509 00:50:10,941 --> 00:50:14,511 HUGE ADVANTAGE, 1510 00:50:14,511 --> 00:50:14,978 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1511 00:50:14,978 --> 00:50:16,146 DIDN'T 1512 00:50:16,146 --> 00:50:17,714 MATTER THAT MUCH WHO 1513 00:50:17,714 --> 00:50:18,515 PARENTS WERE, OR "IT JUST GOT MY 1514 00:50:18,515 --> 00:50:21,084 FOOT IN THE DOOR."THIS IS SHOW G 1515 00:50:21,084 --> 00:50:21,718 YOUR FOOT IN THE DOOR IS 80% OF 1516 00:50:21,718 --> 00:50:28,525 IT. 1517 00:50:28,525 --> 00:50:28,992 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1518 00:50:28,992 --> 00:50:29,926 YES, THERE ARE DIFFICULT ROLES 1519 00:50:29,926 --> 00:50:30,961 THAT REQUIRE ACTING ONLY THE 1520 00:50:30,961 --> 00:50:35,265 GREAT ONES CAN DO, BUT MOST 1521 00:50:35,265 --> 00:50:36,400 ACTING? 1522 00:50:36,400 --> 00:50:37,300 PLEASE. 1523 00:50:37,300 --> 00:50:41,638 VIN DIESEL CAN DO IT. 1524 00:50:41,638 --> 00:50:41,905 [LAUGHTER] 1525 00:50:41,905 --> 00:50:42,305 [AE] 1526 00:50:42,305 --> 00:50:45,275 BODYBUILDERS CAN DO IT. 1527 00:50:45,275 --> 00:50:45,909 CHILDREN CAN DO IT, STEVEN SEGAL 1528 00:50:45,909 --> 00:50:48,078 CAN DO IT. 1529 00:50:48,078 --> 00:50:59,456 I DID IT. 1530 00:50:59,456 --> 00:51:00,557 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1531 00:51:00,557 --> 00:51:01,858 REALITY TV IS ACTING: ACTING 1532 00:51:01,858 --> 00:51:02,793 LIKE YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT GLASS 1533 00:51:02,793 --> 00:51:03,760 OF WINE WAS GONNA GET THROWN IN 1534 00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:08,031 YOUR FACE. 1535 00:51:08,031 --> 00:51:09,699 THIS IS ONE REASON WHY OF THE 1536 00:51:09,699 --> 00:51:12,869 TOP-RATED TELECASTS ON 1537 00:51:12,869 --> 00:51:14,604 TELEVISION, SPORT YEAR 1538 00:51:14,604 --> 00:51:16,706 ACCOUNR 94 OF THE TOP 100. 1539 00:51:16,706 --> 00:51:18,842 BECAUSE IT'S THE LAST REFUGE OF 1540 00:51:18,842 --> 00:51:20,677 MERITOCRACY IN AMERICA. 1541 00:51:20,677 --> 00:51:21,778 SHOW BUSINESS IS FULL OF NEPO 1542 00:51:21,778 --> 00:51:23,680 BABIES. 1543 00:51:23,680 --> 00:51:26,650 POLITICS IS FULL OF NEPO BABIES. 1544 00:51:26,650 --> 00:51:28,118 EVEN MODELING, WHICH USED TO 1545 00:51:28,118 --> 00:51:30,120 REQUIRE THE INTEGRITY TO FIND A 1546 00:51:30,120 --> 00:51:31,988 FREAKISHLY PERFECT 14-YEAR-OLD 1547 00:51:31,988 --> 00:51:40,764 IN A SMALL SLOVENIAN VILLAGE HAS 1548 00:51:40,764 --> 00:51:41,031 [LAUGHTER] 1549 00:51:41,031 --> 00:51:41,531 [APPLAUSE] 1550 00:51:41,531 --> 00:51:42,232 FALLEN TO NEPOTISM. 1551 00:51:42,232 --> 00:51:43,099 BUT IN SPORTS, THERE ARE NO NEPO 1552 00:51:43,099 --> 00:51:44,134 BABIES. 1553 00:51:44,134 --> 00:51:45,635 THERE ARE THE SONS AND DAUGHTERS 1554 00:51:45,635 --> 00:51:46,903 OF FORMER PLAYERS, BUT IT'S NOT 1555 00:51:46,903 --> 00:51:48,472 WHY THEY PLAY. 1556 00:51:48,472 --> 00:51:49,806 LAILA ALI DIDN'T KNOCK OUT 21 1557 00:51:49,806 --> 00:51:50,907 OPPONENTS BY SMACKING THEM WITH 1558 00:51:50,907 --> 00:52:00,717 HERIRTH CERTIFICATE. 1559 00:52:00,717 --> 00:52:01,318 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1560 00:52:01,318 --> 00:52:02,018 SPORTS IS ST PLACE WHERE 1561 00:52:02,018 --> 00:52:02,986 IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO YOU ARE OR 1562 00:52:02,986 --> 00:52:03,620 WHERE YOU'RE FUST WHAT YOU 1563 00:52:03,620 --> 00:52:05,989 DO. 1564 00:52:05,989 --> 00:52:07,123 NO ONE GETS HID EITHER BECAUSE 1565 00:52:07,123 --> 00:52:09,259 IT WOULD MAKE THE TEAM "LOOK 1566 00:52:09,259 --> 00:52:10,927 LIKE AMERICA," OR BECAUSE THEIR 1567 00:52:10,927 --> 00:52:13,430 RICH WHITE DADDY PULLED STRINGS. 1568 00:52:13,430 --> 00:52:15,599 I DON'T TRUST THE MENT, 1569 00:52:15,599 --> 00:52:17,234 MEDIA, CHURCHES, JUDGES, JURIES, 1570 00:52:17,234 --> 00:52:19,536 BANKS, JIFFY LUBE OR ANYON 1571 00:52:19,536 --> 00:52:25,075 DATING APP COVERING THEIR CHIN 1572 00:52:25,075 --> 00:52:25,342 [LAUGHTER] 1573 00:52:25,342 --> 00:52:29,813 WITH THEIR HAND. 1574 00:52:29,813 --> 00:52:31,748 BUT I DO TRUST THAT THE 450 1575 00:52:31,748 --> 00:52:33,884 PLAYERS IN THE NBA ARE THE 1576 00:52:33,884 --> 00:52:35,719 ABSOLUTE BEST 450 PLAYERS THE 1577 00:52:35,719 --> 00:52:36,786 TEAMS COULD FIND ANYWHERE IN THE 1578 00:52:36,786 --> 00:52:43,393 WORLD. 1579 00:52:43,393 --> 00:52:45,262 [APPLAUSE] 1580 00:52:45,262 --> 00:52:46,997 THE FACT THAT THIS KID'S FUTURE 1581 00:52:46,997 --> 00:52:47,797 IN THE NBA IS NOT ASSURED-- IN 1582 00:52:47,797 --> 00:52:50,033 FACT, IT'S THE OPPOSITE OF 1583 00:52:50,033 --> 00:52:51,001 ASSU THAT'S VERY ASSURING 1584 00:52:51,001 --> 00:52:53,770 TO ME. 1585 00:52:53,770 --> 00:52:55,906 EVERYONE WANTS TO SEE LEBRON 1586 00:52:55,906 --> 00:52:57,941 JAMES' SON PLAY ON THE SAME TEAM 1587 00:52:57,941 --> 00:52:59,509 WITH HIS FATHER: THERE HASN'T 1588 00:52:59,509 --> 00:53:00,944 BEEN A FEEL-GOOD STORY THAT 1589 00:53:00,944 --> 00:53:01,811 FEEL-GOOE MACAULAY KULKIN 1590 00:53:01,811 --> 00:53:10,353 ESCAPED FROM NEVERLAND. 1591 00:53:10,353 --> 00:53:10,620 [LAUGHTER] 1592 00:53:10,620 --> 00:53:11,855 [APPLAUSE] 1593 00:53:11,855 --> 00:53:13,557 BUT JUST BECAUSE WE WANT TO SEE 1594 00:53:13,557 --> 00:53:14,524 IT IS NOT GOING TO MAKE IT 1595 00:53:14,524 --> 00:53:15,392 HAPPEN-- ONNNY JAMES 1596 00:53:15,392 --> 00:53:19,930 HIMSELF CAN DO THAT.C RIVERS' KT 1597 00:53:19,930 --> 00:53:20,931 BECAUSE "HIS FATHER PLAYED AND 1598 00:53:20,931 --> 00:53:22,899 SO IT'S A GREAT STORY." 1599 00:53:22,899 --> 00:53:23,967 IN SPORTS, THEY DON'T TELL EACH 1600 00:53:23,967 --> 00:53:24,834 OTHER STORIES. 1601 00:53:24,834 --> 00:53:26,703 THEY PERFORM. 1602 00:53:26,703 --> 00:53:28,772 MAYBE THAT'S WHY SPORTS LOOKS TO 1603 00:53:28,772 --> 00:53:30,307 ME-- AT LEAST ON TV-- LIKE A 1604 00:53:30,307 --> 00:53:31,207 PLACE THAT HAS REALLY GOOD RACE 1605 00:53:31,207 --> 00:53:32,709 RELATIONS. 1606 00:53:32,709 --> 00:53:34,377 AN WHERE ELSE DO YOU SEE A 1607 00:53:34,377 --> 00:53:35,478 GROWN BLACK MAN CRYING OVER HIS 1608 00:53:35,478 --> 00:53:43,920 WHITE CO-WORKER? 1609 00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:45,422 [LAUGHTER] 1610 00:53:45,422 --> 00:53:50,360 THAT'S MY QUARTERBACK. 1611 00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:54,097 [APPLAUSE] 1612 00:53:54,097 --> 00:53:56,099 Bill: ON THE FIELD OR COURT 1613 00:53:56,099 --> 00:53:56,967 IT'S JUST ABOUT WHOET ME 1614 00:53:56,967 --> 00:53:58,835 THE BALL? 1615 00:53:58,835 --> 00:54:00,036 WHO CAN SCORE FOR OUR TEAM WHEN 1616 00:54:00,036 --> 00:54:02,305 WE NEED IT? 1617 00:54:02,305 --> 00:54:03,206 THEY EARN EACH OTHER'S RESPECT, 1618 00:54:03,206 --> 00:54:03,974 AND THE LOVE FOLLOWS. 1619 00:54:03,974 --> 00:54:05,041 SO WHY DOES AMERICA HAVE THAT IN 1620 00:54:05,041 --> 00:54:05,976 SPORTS-- SOMETHING S, 1621 00:54:05,976 --> 00:54:06,910 AFTER ALL, JUST A DIVERSION-- 1622 00:54:06,910 --> 00:54:07,677 BUT NOT FOR STUFF THAT REALLY 1623 00:54:07,677 --> 00:54:09,579 MATTERS? 1624 00:54:09,579 --> 00:54:11,448 42% OF PRIVATE COLLEGES ADMIT 1625 00:54:11,448 --> 00:54:13,283 APPLICANTS BASED ALMOST ENTIRELY 1626 00:54:13,283 --> 00:54:14,250 ON THE FACT THAT THEIR PARENTS 1627 00:54:14,250 --> 00:54:16,186 ARE ALUMNI. 1628 00:54:16,186 --> 00:54:17,420 YOU GET IN IF YOU WORK HARD AND 1629 00:54:17,420 --> 00:54:25,161 YOUR DAD BOUGHT A BUILDING. 1630 00:54:25,161 --> 00:54:25,829 THESE ARE CALLED, LEGACY 1631 00:54:25,829 --> 00:54:26,696 ADMISSIONS, ALTHOUGH I'LL ALSO 1632 00:54:26,696 --> 00:54:32,035 ACCEPT "ENTITLED FUCKFACE." 1633 00:54:32,035 --> 00:54:32,302 [LAUGHTER] 1634 00:54:32,302 --> 00:54:33,303 [APPLAUSE] 1635 00:54:33,303 --> 00:54:34,137 BUT IT ALSO MUST BE SAID THAT, 1636 00:54:34,137 --> 00:54:34,904 INNTEREST OF RIGHTING 1637 00:54:34,904 --> 00:54:35,872 HISTORICAL WRONGS AND EVENING 1638 00:54:35,872 --> 00:54:37,040 OUT OUR DESPICABLE PAST, THE 1639 00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:38,575 CONCEPT OF MERIT ITSELF IS NOW 1640 00:54:38,575 --> 00:54:39,542 UNDER ATTACK EVERYWHERE BUT IN 1641 00:54:39,542 --> 00:54:41,511 SPORTS. 1642 00:54:41,511 --> 00:54:43,113 INSTEAD OF GETTING THE KIDS WHO 1643 00:54:43,113 --> 00:54:44,547 LAG BEHIND UP TO THE HIGHER 1644 00:54:44,547 --> 00:54:45,649 STANDARDS, SCHOOLS ALL OVER ARE 1645 00:54:45,649 --> 00:54:52,656 ELIMINATING HONORS CLASSES. 1646 00:54:52,656 --> 00:54:54,624 80% OF FOUR-YEAR COLLEGESO 1647 00:54:54,624 --> 00:54:55,258 LONGER REQUIRE A STANDARDIZED 1648 00:54:55,258 --> 00:54:56,259 TESTS FOR ADMISSIONS. 1649 00:54:56,259 --> 00:54:57,527 SAN FRANCISCO'S TOP RATED LOWELL 1650 00:54:57,527 --> 00:54:58,495 HIGH SCHOOL ED MERIT-BASED 1651 00:54:58,495 --> 00:54:59,429 ADMISSIONS WITH A LOTTERY IN 1652 00:54:59,429 --> 00:55:01,164 2021, AND THE RESULT WAS A 1653 00:55:01,164 --> 00:55:01,765 THREEFOLD INCREASE IN D'S AND 1654 00:55:01,765 --> 00:55:03,333 F'S. 1655 00:55:03,333 --> 00:55:04,734 TURNS OUT, GETTING RID OF MERIT 1656 00:55:04,734 --> 00:55:06,436 ADMISSIONS JUST MADE KIDS FEEL 1657 00:55:06,436 --> 00:55:07,671 WORSE ABOUT THEMSELVES-- AND 1658 00:55:07,671 --> 00:55:15,779 THAT'S WHAT INSTAGRAM IS FOR. 1659 00:55:15,779 --> 00:55:17,714 [LAUGHTER] 1660 00:55:17,714 --> 00:55:18,181 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1661 00:55:18,181 --> 00:55:19,015 AT LEAST 16 SCHOOLS IN VIRGINIA 1662 00:55:19,015 --> 00:55:20,216 ARE UNDER INVESTIGATION FOR 1663 00:55:20,216 --> 00:55:21,518 FAILING TO GIVE STUDENTS THEIR 1664 00:55:21,518 --> 00:55:23,286 NATIONAL MERIT SCHOLARSHIP 1665 00:55:23,286 --> 00:55:25,655 AWARDS, WHICH ARE A BIG DEAL: 1666 00:55:25,655 --> 00:55:27,390 THEY CAN OPEA LOT OF DOORS 1667 00:55:27,390 --> 00:55:28,058 ACADEMICALLY, AND GET YOU LAID 1668 00:55:28,058 --> 00:55:32,395 AT MATH CAMP. 1669 00:55:32,395 --> 00:55:33,930 THE REPUBLICAN GOV THERE 1670 00:55:33,930 --> 00:55:35,432 CALLED IT A "MANIACAL FOCUS ON 1671 00:55:35,432 --> 00:55:36,599 EQUAL OUTCOMES FOR ALL STUDENTS 1672 00:55:36,599 --> 00:55:38,935 AT ALL COSTS." 1673 00:55:38,935 --> 00:55:40,670 YOU MAY NOT LIKE HIM, BUT THAT 1674 00:55:40,670 --> 00:55:42,038 ACCUSATION STRIKES A LOT OF 1675 00:55:42,038 --> 00:55:43,373 PEOPLE AS TRUE, AND THIS IS A 1676 00:55:43,373 --> 00:55:45,175 BAD ISSUE FOR DEMOCRATS. 1677 00:55:45,175 --> 00:55:46,576 BECAUSE MOST AMERICANS SEEM TO 1678 00:55:46,576 --> 00:55:48,745 AGREE, IF THEY'RE ON AN 1679 00:55:48,745 --> 00:55:50,013 AIRPLANE, THEY WANT A COCKPIT 1680 00:55:50,013 --> 00:55:51,648 THAT LOOKS LIKE AMERICA. 1681 00:55:51,648 --> 00:55:52,549 BUT THEY'D ALSO LIKE SOMEONE UP 1682 00:55:52,549 --> 00:55:53,216 THERE WHO KNW TO FLY THE 1683 00:55:53,216 --> 00:55:55,952 PLANE. 1684 00:55:55,952 --> 00:55:56,720 OKAY, THAT'S OUR SHOW. 1685 00:55:56,720 --> 00:55:57,821 I'LL BE AT MGM NATIONAL HARBOR 1686 00:55:57,821 --> 00:55:59,322 IN D.C. 1687 00:55:59,322 --> 00:56:00,457 APRIL 22ND, THE PERFORMING ARTS 1688 00:56:00,457 --> 00:56:02,025 CENTER IN DURHAM, NC, APRIL 1689 00:56:02,025 --> 00:56:04,527 23RD, AND MGM NORTHFIELD PARK IN 1690 00:56:04,527 --> 00:56:08,898 CLEVELAND, MAY 20TH. 1691 00:56:08,898 --> 00:56:11,668 I WANT TO THANK MY GUESTS. 1692 00:56:11,668 --> 00:56:12,469 NOW GO WATCH OVERTIME ON "CNN 1693 00:56:12,469 --> 00:56:13,970 TONIGHT" AT 11:30, OR CATCH IT 1694 00:56:13,970 --> 00:56:18,575 SATURDAY MORNING ON YOUTUBE. 1695 00:56:18,575 --> 00:56:22,979 THANK YOU VERY MUCH, EVERYBODY! 1696 00:56:22,979 --> 00:56:24,047 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1697 00:56:24,047 --> 00:56:24,247 ♪ ♪ 1698 00:56:24,247 --> 00:56:29,953 THANK YOU GUYS. 1699 00:56:29,953 --> 00:56:36,693 [CHEERS AND APPLAU 1700 00:56:36,693 --> 00:56:53,276 ♪ ♪ 1701 00:56:53,276 --> 00:56:54,344 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]