1
00:00:03,037 --> 00:00:03,727
>> PREVIOUSLY ON

2
00:00:03,727 --> 00:00:04,659
RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE...

3
00:00:04,659 --> 00:00:06,627
>> ROLASKATOX IS ROXXXY,

4
00:00:06,627 --> 00:00:08,922
ALASKA, AND DETOX.

5
00:00:08,922 --> 00:00:11,356
>> I HAVE NARCOLEPSY.

6
00:00:11,356 --> 00:00:13,323
[snores]

7
00:00:13,323 --> 00:00:15,084
>> YOU'LL BE WRITING AND

8
00:00:15,084 --> 00:00:17,189
RECORDING AN INSPIRATIONAL

9
00:00:17,189 --> 00:00:18,984
ANTHEM.

10
00:00:18,984 --> 00:00:19,985
>> COCO, THERE'S A LOT OF

11
00:00:19,985 --> 00:00:21,504
PRESSURE ON YOU TO START THIS

12
00:00:21,504 --> 00:00:22,160
OUT.

13
00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:23,333
>> YEAH.

14
00:00:23,333 --> 00:00:24,024
THANKS, DETOX.

15
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,922
>> FOR WHAT?

16
00:00:25,922 --> 00:00:28,338
>> ♪ CAN I GET AN AMEN

17
00:00:28,338 --> 00:00:32,342
>> ♪ JUST LOVE YOURSELF

18
00:00:32,342 --> 00:00:33,378
>> WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU AND

19
00:00:33,378 --> 00:00:34,206
DETOX?

20
00:00:34,206 --> 00:00:35,138
>> ROLASKATOX.

21
00:00:35,138 --> 00:00:36,967
>> NO!

22
00:00:36,967 --> 00:00:39,591
CLIQUES CAN BE DANGEROUS.

23
00:00:39,591 --> 00:00:41,351
>> JINKX MONSOON.

24
00:00:41,351 --> 00:00:42,456
>> THERE WAS, LIKE, 20 DIFFERENT

25
00:00:42,456 --> 00:00:43,353
ERAS GOING ON.

26
00:00:43,353 --> 00:00:45,079
SHE'S CONSISTENTLY A MESS.

27
00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:47,771
>> THIS WEEK'S WINNER IS

28
00:00:47,771 --> 00:00:48,979
IVY WINTERS.

29
00:00:48,979 --> 00:00:49,980
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.

30
00:00:49,980 --> 00:00:51,741
[giggles]

31
00:00:51,741 --> 00:00:53,398
>> COCO MONTRESE, SHANTE,

32
00:00:53,398 --> 00:00:54,985
YOU STAY.

33
00:00:54,985 --> 00:00:57,574
JADE, SASHAY AWAY.

34
00:00:57,574 --> 00:01:00,715
JADE, SASHAY AWAY.
>> THANK YOU GUYS.

35
00:01:00,715 --> 00:01:05,168
>> THANK YOU GUYS.

36
00:01:05,168 --> 00:01:07,067
>> OH, JADE.

37
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:10,000
>> "CHEERS TO MY FISH, FABULOUS,

38
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,657
AND FIERCE SISTERS."

39
00:01:11,657 --> 00:01:12,865
>> WE LOVE YOU, JADE.

40
00:01:12,865 --> 00:01:15,178
>> OH, GOD.

41
00:01:15,178 --> 00:01:16,507
BOTTOM TWO TWICE.

42
00:01:16,507 --> 00:01:18,474
I CAN'T LET RU DOWN ANYMORE.

43
00:01:18,474 --> 00:01:19,562
I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT FOR

44
00:01:19,562 --> 00:01:20,563
GRANTED ANYMORE.

45
00:01:20,563 --> 00:01:22,082
SO YOU BITCHES BETTER LOOK

46
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:22,875
THE FUCK OUT.

47
00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:25,085
>> OH!

48
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,396
>> IVY, YOU WON YOUR CHALLENGE.

49
00:01:26,396 --> 00:01:27,087
>> I KNOW!

50
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:27,742
>> CONGRATULATIONS.

51
00:01:27,742 --> 00:01:28,743
[cheers and applause]

52
00:01:28,743 --> 00:01:30,607
>> AND YOU ALWAYS LOOK AMAZING

53
00:01:30,607 --> 00:01:31,677
ON THE RUNWAY.

54
00:01:31,677 --> 00:01:33,955
I HAD MY FINGERS CROSSED I COULD

55
00:01:33,955 --> 00:01:35,543
POSSIBLY WIN TWO CHALLENGES IN A

56
00:01:35,543 --> 00:01:37,166
ROW, BUT, I MEAN, IVY, IT WAS

57
00:01:37,166 --> 00:01:38,702
VERY WELL-DESERVED.

58
00:01:38,702 --> 00:01:41,066
>> JINKX LIKES TO PLAY THE

59
00:01:41,066 --> 00:01:42,999
"I THINK I DID GOOD, BUT I DON'T

60
00:01:42,999 --> 00:01:43,655
KNOW.

61
00:01:43,655 --> 00:01:45,329
THEY REALLY HATE MY RUNWAYS."

62
00:01:45,329 --> 00:01:47,245
YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A LITTLE

63
00:01:47,245 --> 00:01:49,005
WOUNDED GIRL, AND I'M FIXING TO

64
00:01:49,005 --> 00:01:50,696
CALL YOU OUT.

65
00:01:50,696 --> 00:01:52,595
>> HAS EVERYONE WON A CHALLENGE

66
00:01:52,595 --> 00:01:53,906
EXCEPT--HAVE YOU WON A

67
00:01:53,906 --> 00:01:54,562
CHALLENGE?

68
00:01:54,562 --> 00:01:55,287
>> EXCEPT ME--A MINI-CHALLENGE.

69
00:01:55,287 --> 00:01:56,219
>> AND ME, I HAVEN'T WON.

70
00:01:56,219 --> 00:01:57,186
>> WE'RE THE ONLY ONES.

71
00:01:57,186 --> 00:01:58,739
>> IT'S JUST SO HARD BEING HERE

72
00:01:58,739 --> 00:02:00,189
IN SHARON'S SHADOW.

73
00:02:00,189 --> 00:02:02,743
SHE WON FOUR CHALLENGES.

74
00:02:02,743 --> 00:02:04,365
THIS IS NOT THE PLACE FOR ME

75
00:02:04,365 --> 00:02:06,039
TO BE SUPPORTING CAST.

76
00:02:06,039 --> 00:02:08,852
I HAVE TO SHOW THAT I DO STAND

77
00:02:08,852 --> 00:02:09,905
ALONE.

78
00:02:09,905 --> 00:02:11,924
>> all: ROLASKATOX.

79
00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:13,926
>> I DON'T WANNA BE PART OF

80
00:02:13,926 --> 00:02:14,893
ROLASKATOX.

81
00:02:14,893 --> 00:02:17,102
ROLASKATOX.
I WANNA BE ALASKA.

82
00:02:17,102 --> 00:02:21,158
I WANNA BE ALASKA.

83
00:02:21,158 --> 00:02:22,211
>> ♪ RUPAUL DRAG RACE♪

84
00:02:22,211 --> 00:02:23,143
>> THE WINNER OF RUPAUL'S

85
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,661
DRAG RACERECEIVES A SICKENING

86
00:02:24,661 --> 00:02:26,007
SUPPLY OF COLOREVOLUTION

87
00:02:26,007 --> 00:02:27,630
COSMETICS, A LUXURY TRIP,

88
00:02:27,630 --> 00:02:29,873
COURTESY OF ALANDCHUCK.TRAVEL,

89
00:02:29,873 --> 00:02:31,703
HEADLINE LOGOS DRAG RACETOUR

90
00:02:31,703 --> 00:02:33,222
FEATURING ABSOLUT VODKA--

91
00:02:33,222 --> 00:02:34,602
COCKTAILS PERFECTED--

92
00:02:34,602 --> 00:02:38,123
AND A CASH PRIZE OF $100,000.

93
00:02:38,123 --> 00:02:40,194
AND TONIGHT, EXTRA SPECIAL GUEST

94
00:02:40,194 --> 00:02:41,230
JUDGES LESLIE JORDAN AND

95
00:02:41,230 --> 00:02:43,784
ABSOLUT'S JEFFREY MORAN.

96
00:02:43,784 --> 00:02:44,750
>> ♪ RUPAUL DRAG RACE♪

97
00:02:44,750 --> 00:02:45,889
>> ♪ MAY THE BEST WOMAN

98
00:02:45,889 --> 00:02:47,857
♪ BEST WOMAN WIN

99
00:02:47,857 --> 00:02:51,171
[tires screech]

100
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,275
>> ROLASKATOX.

101
00:02:52,275 --> 00:02:53,311
>> ROLASKATOX.

102
00:02:53,311 --> 00:02:55,036
IT'S A NEW DAY IN THE WERK ROOM.

103
00:02:55,036 --> 00:02:57,073
I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO, AND

104
00:02:57,073 --> 00:02:57,832
I'M GONNA DO IT.

105
00:02:57,832 --> 00:03:00,594
ALASKA!

106
00:03:00,594 --> 00:03:02,043
>> WHAT?

107
00:03:02,043 --> 00:03:03,769
>> OH, SHE SAID ALASKA.

108
00:03:03,769 --> 00:03:06,203
DID YOUR FRIEND LEAVE Y'ALL?

109
00:03:06,203 --> 00:03:07,359
>> NO MORE ROLASKATOX?

110
00:03:07,359 --> 00:03:08,291
>> WE CAN'T DO CLIQUES.

111
00:03:08,291 --> 00:03:09,810
IT'S TOO DANGEROUS.

112
00:03:09,810 --> 00:03:11,984
I GUESS IT'S JUST ROTOX NOW.

113
00:03:11,984 --> 00:03:15,125
IT'S HARD TO SAY TO DETOX AND

114
00:03:15,125 --> 00:03:17,058
ROXXXY THAT I DON'T WANNA BE IN

115
00:03:17,058 --> 00:03:18,750
THIS LITTLE GIRL GROUP THAT WE

116
00:03:18,750 --> 00:03:19,613
HAD TOGETHER.

117
00:03:19,613 --> 00:03:21,580
>> OOH, SHE BROKE THE GROUP UP.

118
00:03:21,580 --> 00:03:23,064
>> SMART GIRL.

119
00:03:23,064 --> 00:03:23,720
[alarm sounds]

120
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:24,376
>> OOH!

121
00:03:24,376 --> 00:03:27,586
>> OOH, GIRL, YOU GOT SHEMAIL.

122
00:03:27,586 --> 00:03:28,794
HEY, QUEENS.

123
00:03:28,794 --> 00:03:29,830
>> all: HEY.

124
00:03:29,830 --> 00:03:31,072
>> IT'S FEEDING TIME.

125
00:03:31,072 --> 00:03:33,005
SO IF YOU'VE GOT A BEEF, IT'S

126
00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:35,042
TIME TO START SLINGING SASS

127
00:03:35,042 --> 00:03:36,492
AND SERVING INSULTS.

128
00:03:36,492 --> 00:03:37,493
>> AH!

129
00:03:37,493 --> 00:03:39,426
>> BUT NEVER EVER LET THEM SEE

130
00:03:39,426 --> 00:03:40,323
YOU CHOKE.

131
00:03:40,323 --> 00:03:42,843
[chokes]

132
00:03:42,843 --> 00:03:44,362
>> all: UH-OH!

133
00:03:44,362 --> 00:03:45,915
>> HELLO, HELLO, HELLO.

134
00:03:45,915 --> 00:03:47,675
>> all: HI!

135
00:03:47,675 --> 00:03:48,987
>> WHOO, WHOO, WHOO, WHOO!

136
00:03:48,987 --> 00:03:51,023
>> LADIES, IN THE GREAT

137
00:03:51,023 --> 00:03:53,543
TRADITION OF PARIS IS BURNING,

138
00:03:53,543 --> 00:03:57,478
GET READY TO VISIT THE LIBRARY,

139
00:03:57,478 --> 00:03:58,272
DARLINGS.

140
00:03:58,272 --> 00:04:00,067
[all cheer and applaud]

141
00:04:00,067 --> 00:04:01,551
BECAUSE READING IS WHAT?

142
00:04:01,551 --> 00:04:03,588
>> all: FUNDAMENTAL!

143
00:04:03,588 --> 00:04:05,210
>> THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S RIGHT.

144
00:04:05,210 --> 00:04:08,627
FIRST UP, DETOX, THE LIBRARY IS

145
00:04:08,627 --> 00:04:09,387
OPEN.

146
00:04:09,387 --> 00:04:11,458
>> OH.

147
00:04:11,458 --> 00:04:14,599
ROXXXY ANDREWS, CONDRAGULATIONS

148
00:04:14,599 --> 00:04:16,221
ON THE WEIGHT LOSS, BUT TO ME,

149
00:04:16,221 --> 00:04:17,981
YOU'RE STILL BOXXXY MANDREWS.

150
00:04:17,981 --> 00:04:20,225
[all laugh]

151
00:04:20,225 --> 00:04:21,675
ALYSSA EDWARDS.

152
00:04:21,675 --> 00:04:22,952
OVERBITES ARE VERY IN THIS

153
00:04:22,952 --> 00:04:23,608
SEASON.

154
00:04:23,608 --> 00:04:25,023
TOO BAD YOUR PERFORMANCE HERE IS

155
00:04:25,023 --> 00:04:26,473
SO UNDERWHELMING.

156
00:04:26,473 --> 00:04:28,164
>> OH OH!

157
00:04:28,164 --> 00:04:29,269
>> [laughs]

158
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,304
>> SHARON NEEDLES--WHAT? WHAT?

159
00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:31,823
[all laugh]

160
00:04:31,823 --> 00:04:33,997
I'VE HAD IT.

161
00:04:33,997 --> 00:04:35,620
>> JINKX MONSOON.

162
00:04:35,620 --> 00:04:38,036
>> ROXXXY ANDREWS, THERE ARE

163
00:04:38,036 --> 00:04:39,624
TWO TYPES OF PEANUT BUTTER.

164
00:04:39,624 --> 00:04:41,488
CREAMY AND CRUNCHY.

165
00:04:41,488 --> 00:04:43,869
[all laugh]

166
00:04:43,869 --> 00:04:45,526
>> I'M NOT CRUNCHY, BABY.

167
00:04:45,526 --> 00:04:48,529
>> DETOX, YOU WON THE CHALLENGE.

168
00:04:48,529 --> 00:04:50,186
YOU CAN TAKE THE CHICKEN MASK

169
00:04:50,186 --> 00:04:50,842
OFF NOW.

170
00:04:50,842 --> 00:04:52,464
[all laugh]

171
00:04:52,464 --> 00:04:53,603
>> [mimics chicken]

172
00:04:53,603 --> 00:04:55,743
>> ROXXXY ANDREWS.

173
00:04:55,743 --> 00:04:58,090
>> COCO MONTRESE, FOR SOMEONE

174
00:04:58,090 --> 00:04:59,920
WHO CALLS THEMSELF A TOP, YOU

175
00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:01,404
SURE DO LIKE BEING ON THE

176
00:05:01,404 --> 00:05:02,163
BOTTOM.

177
00:05:02,163 --> 00:05:03,889
>> OOH!

178
00:05:03,889 --> 00:05:05,063
[all laugh]

179
00:05:05,063 --> 00:05:07,272
>> JINKX MONSOON, ASHES TO

180
00:05:07,272 --> 00:05:09,309
ASHES, DUST TO DUST.

181
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,069
YOU'RE GREAT AT THE CHALLENGES,

182
00:05:11,069 --> 00:05:12,691
BUT ON THE RUNWAY, YOU'RE A

183
00:05:12,691 --> 00:05:13,451
BUST.

184
00:05:13,451 --> 00:05:14,624
[all laugh]

185
00:05:14,624 --> 00:05:17,386
>> DETOX, IS AMANDA LEPORE YOUR

186
00:05:17,386 --> 00:05:18,318
MOTHER?

187
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,629
'CAUSE THERE'S A LOT OF SILICONE

188
00:05:19,629 --> 00:05:20,561
GOING ON THERE.

189
00:05:20,561 --> 00:05:21,735
>> OOH.

190
00:05:21,735 --> 00:05:23,909
>> JINKX MONSOON, BOY GEORGE

191
00:05:23,909 --> 00:05:24,807
CALLED.

192
00:05:24,807 --> 00:05:26,118
HE WANTS HIS HAT BACK.

193
00:05:26,118 --> 00:05:26,774
>> [gasps]

194
00:05:26,774 --> 00:05:29,018
>> OOH.

195
00:05:29,018 --> 00:05:31,676
>> ALYSSA EDWARDS.

196
00:05:31,676 --> 00:05:33,022
NEVER MIND.

197
00:05:33,022 --> 00:05:36,128
>> all: OOH!

198
00:05:36,128 --> 00:05:38,407
>> IVY WINTERS.

199
00:05:38,407 --> 00:05:40,167
I CAN'T DO IT BECAUSE READING

200
00:05:40,167 --> 00:05:41,064
YOU IS LIKE READING A WALT

201
00:05:41,064 --> 00:05:41,893
DISNEY BOOK.

202
00:05:41,893 --> 00:05:43,308
IT'S SIMPLY TOO EASY.

203
00:05:43,308 --> 00:05:45,724
[all laugh]

204
00:05:45,724 --> 00:05:47,588
DETOXIC.

205
00:05:47,588 --> 00:05:49,141
HONEY, I KNOW YOU THINK YOU'RE

206
00:05:49,141 --> 00:05:50,902
SERVING BODY AND LOOK, BUT

207
00:05:50,902 --> 00:05:51,972
THE ONLY THING I'M GETTING IS

208
00:05:51,972 --> 00:05:53,145
THE HILLS HAVE EYES.

209
00:05:53,145 --> 00:05:54,802
>> UH-OH.

210
00:05:54,802 --> 00:05:56,356
>> MS. COCO.

211
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,805
YOU MUST BE BLIND, BECAUSE IT

212
00:05:57,805 --> 00:05:59,289
LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE USING TANG FOR

213
00:05:59,289 --> 00:06:00,221
YOUR HIGHLIGHTS.

214
00:06:00,221 --> 00:06:00,877
>> [laughs]

215
00:06:00,877 --> 00:06:02,431
>> AAH!

216
00:06:02,431 --> 00:06:04,191
>> MS. ALASKA, I THINK YOU

217
00:06:04,191 --> 00:06:05,503
SHOULD WEAR A MASK FOR EVERY

218
00:06:05,503 --> 00:06:06,193
CHALLENGE.

219
00:06:06,193 --> 00:06:08,609
>> [laughs]

220
00:06:08,609 --> 00:06:11,094
I DON'T WANNA READ THESE GIRLS.

221
00:06:11,094 --> 00:06:13,200
I LOVE THEM SO MU--ALL RIGHT,

222
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:13,959
LET'S GO.

223
00:06:13,959 --> 00:06:14,857
[all laugh]

224
00:06:14,857 --> 00:06:17,722
ALYSSA EDWARDS, MISS USA--

225
00:06:17,722 --> 00:06:18,516
OH, WAIT.

226
00:06:18,516 --> 00:06:20,518
[all gasp]

227
00:06:20,518 --> 00:06:21,864
>> WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?

228
00:06:21,864 --> 00:06:24,832
>> DETOX, YOU'RE SO SEDUCTIVE,

229
00:06:24,832 --> 00:06:26,765
BUT UNFORTUNATELY, IT'S ILLEGAL

230
00:06:26,765 --> 00:06:28,111
TO DO IT WITH YOU BECAUSE MOST

231
00:06:28,111 --> 00:06:30,113
OF YOUR PARTS ARE UNDER 18 YEARS

232
00:06:30,113 --> 00:06:30,769
OF AGE.

233
00:06:30,769 --> 00:06:31,943
[all laugh]

234
00:06:31,943 --> 00:06:33,600
LONG STORY SHORT, THE SEASON OF

235
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,464
THE FISH SMELLS LIKE TROUT.

236
00:06:35,464 --> 00:06:38,984
[all laugh]

237
00:06:38,984 --> 00:06:40,848
I DON'T KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME.

238
00:06:40,848 --> 00:06:43,472
>> THE LIBRARY IS NOW OFFICIALLY

239
00:06:43,472 --> 00:06:45,819
CLOSED.

240
00:06:45,819 --> 00:06:47,234
THE WINNER OF TODAY'S

241
00:06:47,234 --> 00:06:51,514
MINI-CHALLENGE IS...

242
00:06:51,514 --> 00:06:52,929
ALASKA.

243
00:06:52,929 --> 00:06:53,999
[all applaud]

244
00:06:53,999 --> 00:06:55,967
>> WHOO!

245
00:06:55,967 --> 00:06:58,348
>> YOU SHADY BITCH.

246
00:06:58,348 --> 00:07:00,592
LADIES, FOR THIS WEEK'S MAIN

247
00:07:00,592 --> 00:07:02,836
CHALLENGE, YOU'RE GOING TO GET

248
00:07:02,836 --> 00:07:06,184
A CHANCE TO READ...

249
00:07:06,184 --> 00:07:06,978
ME.

250
00:07:06,978 --> 00:07:09,014
[all shout]

251
00:07:09,014 --> 00:07:10,084
>> NUH-UH.

252
00:07:10,084 --> 00:07:11,500
>> YOU'LL BE COMPETING IN

253
00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:12,811
THE RUPAUL ROAST.

254
00:07:12,811 --> 00:07:13,605
>> AAH!

255
00:07:13,605 --> 00:07:14,434
>> OH, MY GOD.

256
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,642
>> WHAT?

257
00:07:15,642 --> 00:07:17,367
>> PROUDLY PRESENTED BY ABSOLUT.

258
00:07:17,367 --> 00:07:20,267
OVER 30 YEARS AGO, ABSOLUT VODKA

259
00:07:20,267 --> 00:07:22,614
WAS ONE OF THE FIRST SPIRITS

260
00:07:22,614 --> 00:07:24,340
TO SUPPORT THE GAY AND LESBIAN

261
00:07:24,340 --> 00:07:25,272
COMMUNITY.

262
00:07:25,272 --> 00:07:26,480
THEY WERE ALSO THE FIRST TO

263
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,827
LAUNCH A CITRON AND A MANDARIN

264
00:07:28,827 --> 00:07:30,380
VODKA, MAKING THE WORLD

265
00:07:30,380 --> 00:07:32,486
A FRUITIER PLACE, ONE COCKTAIL

266
00:07:32,486 --> 00:07:33,211
AT A TIME.

267
00:07:33,211 --> 00:07:36,041
NOW IN THAT SPIRIT, YOU NEED TO

268
00:07:36,041 --> 00:07:38,768
WRITE AND PERFORM OUTRAGEOUS

269
00:07:38,768 --> 00:07:40,667
MATERIAL THAT REALLY LETS ME

270
00:07:40,667 --> 00:07:41,668
HAVE IT.

271
00:07:41,668 --> 00:07:43,739
PLUS THE JUDGES.

272
00:07:43,739 --> 00:07:45,016
PLUS EACH OTHER.

273
00:07:45,016 --> 00:07:47,363
NO ONE IS SAFE AT A ROAST,

274
00:07:47,363 --> 00:07:48,502
CHICKENS.

275
00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:50,987
NOW TO HELP YOU PREPARE, YOU'LL

276
00:07:50,987 --> 00:07:52,264
BE WORKING WITH THREE

277
00:07:52,264 --> 00:07:53,645
PROFESSIONALS--

278
00:07:53,645 --> 00:07:55,992
THE SHELARIOUS NADYA GINSBURG.

279
00:07:55,992 --> 00:07:56,855
>> [gasps]

280
00:07:56,855 --> 00:07:57,615
>> DEVEN GREEN.

281
00:07:57,615 --> 00:07:58,547
>> OH!

282
00:07:58,547 --> 00:08:00,100
>> AND THE ONE AND ONLY

283
00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:01,308
BRUCE VILANCH.

284
00:08:01,308 --> 00:08:03,448
[all cheering]

285
00:08:03,448 --> 00:08:05,070
>> ALASKA, YOU WON THE

286
00:08:05,070 --> 00:08:07,072
MINI-CHALLENGE, SO YOU'LL

287
00:08:07,072 --> 00:08:08,488
DECIDE THE ORDER OF

288
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:09,350
THE PRESENTERS.

289
00:08:09,350 --> 00:08:10,282
>> OH.

290
00:08:10,282 --> 00:08:12,561
>> GENTLEMEN, START YOUR

291
00:08:12,561 --> 00:08:13,493
ENGINES.

292
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:17,082
AND MAY THE BEST WOMAN WIN.

293
00:08:17,082 --> 00:08:18,498
>> DOES ANYONE HAVE A PREFERENCE

294
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,465
AS TO GOING EARLY, LATE?

295
00:08:20,465 --> 00:08:22,225
'CAUSE I DON'T WANNA FUCK

296
00:08:22,225 --> 00:08:22,881
ANYONE OVER.

297
00:08:22,881 --> 00:08:24,434
>> I WOULD PREFER TO GO JUST IN

298
00:08:24,434 --> 00:08:25,090
THE MIDDLE.

299
00:08:25,090 --> 00:08:25,746
>> IN THE MIDDLE? OKAY.

300
00:08:25,746 --> 00:08:26,506
>> ME TOO, IN THE MIDDLE FOR ME

301
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:27,161
TOO.

302
00:08:27,161 --> 00:08:27,817
>> I WANNA GO AFTER YOU.

303
00:08:27,817 --> 00:08:28,508
>> WHERE ARE YOU PUTTING

304
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,163
YOURSELF?

305
00:08:29,163 --> 00:08:30,717
>> NO ONE WANTS TO GO FIRST.

306
00:08:30,717 --> 00:08:32,132
BUT, I MEAN, I DON'T MIND GOING

307
00:08:32,132 --> 00:08:32,960
FIRST.

308
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:33,823
IS THAT OKAY?

309
00:08:33,823 --> 00:08:35,825
>> YEAH.

310
00:08:35,825 --> 00:08:37,309
>> THAT'S THE HARDEST ONE.

311
00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:42,159
WRONG MOVE.

312
00:08:42,159 --> 00:08:43,799
>> THIS CHALLENGE IS IMPORTANT

313
00:08:43,799 --> 00:08:45,455
BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS ME AS

314
00:08:45,455 --> 00:08:46,543
A COMEDY QUEEN.

315
00:08:46,543 --> 00:08:47,596
SO THERE'S HIGH PRESSURE RIGHT

316
00:08:47,596 --> 00:08:49,425
NOW TO PUT MY MONEY WHERE MY

317
00:08:49,425 --> 00:08:51,427
MOUTH IS.

318
00:08:51,427 --> 00:08:52,359
>> IT'S SO HARD TO THINK OF,

319
00:08:52,359 --> 00:08:53,325
LIKE, MEAN THINGS TO SAY ABOUT

320
00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:54,706
HER.

321
00:08:54,706 --> 00:08:56,432
>> IVY'S VERY SWEET AND

322
00:08:56,432 --> 00:08:57,433
WELL-MANNERED.

323
00:08:57,433 --> 00:08:58,745
AND IN A ROAST, THAT'S GONNA BE

324
00:08:58,745 --> 00:08:59,694
HARD.

325
00:08:59,694 --> 00:09:00,919
>> I AM JUST TRYING TO, LIKE,

326
00:09:00,919 --> 00:09:02,231
REALLY RACK MY BRAIN.

327
00:09:02,231 --> 00:09:03,646
AND I STILL CAN'T THINK OF ONE

328
00:09:03,646 --> 00:09:05,441
JOKE.

329
00:09:05,441 --> 00:09:06,615
>> COMING UP...

330
00:09:06,615 --> 00:09:07,926
>> I PUT MYSELF FIRST.

331
00:09:07,926 --> 00:09:08,686
>> ARE YOU GOING FOR MISS

332
00:09:08,686 --> 00:09:10,204
CONGENIALITY OR AMERICA'S NEXT

333
00:09:10,204 --> 00:09:12,103
DRAG SUPERSTAR?

334
00:09:12,103 --> 00:09:13,311
>> GIRL, THAT'S FAKE TO ME.

335
00:09:13,311 --> 00:09:14,933
>> I'M NOT ACTING WHEN I SAY I'M

336
00:09:14,933 --> 00:09:16,210
INSECURE ABOUT THINGS.

337
00:09:16,210 --> 00:09:17,764
>> BULLSHIT.

338
00:09:17,764 --> 00:09:19,697
>> BULLSHIT.
>> [laughs]

339
00:09:19,697 --> 00:09:22,113
>> [laughs]

340
00:09:22,113 --> 00:09:25,495
>> [laughs]

341
00:09:25,495 --> 00:09:27,256
>> THE MAIN CHALLENGE THIS WEEK

342
00:09:27,256 --> 00:09:31,363
IS TO ROAST RUPAUL AS WELL AS

343
00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:33,193
OUR FELLOW QUEENS AND THE

344
00:09:33,193 --> 00:09:34,418
JUDGING PANEL.

345
00:09:34,418 --> 00:09:36,127
I JUST HAVE TO KICK ASS AT IT,

346
00:09:36,127 --> 00:09:38,612
BECAUSE AT A DRAG SHOW, WHEN YOU

347
00:09:38,612 --> 00:09:39,751
BOMB, YOU DON'T JUST HEAR

348
00:09:39,751 --> 00:09:40,441
CRICKETS.

349
00:09:40,441 --> 00:09:41,546
YOU HEAR SHOTGUNS GETTING

350
00:09:41,546 --> 00:09:46,033
COCKED.

351
00:09:46,033 --> 00:09:48,277
>> I CAN'T READ THIS LAST ONE.

352
00:09:48,277 --> 00:09:49,174
BECAUSE THEY'RE GONNA BE LIKE,

353
00:09:49,174 --> 00:09:52,764
T--

354
00:09:52,764 --> 00:09:54,594
[clicks tongue]

355
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:55,819
HUMPH.

356
00:09:55,819 --> 00:09:58,218
>> I KEEP HEARING, "OOH!"

357
00:09:58,218 --> 00:09:59,253
>> OH, MY GOSH.

358
00:09:59,253 --> 00:10:00,358
>> "OOH, UM--"

359
00:10:00,358 --> 00:10:02,895
>> [mutters]

360
00:10:02,895 --> 00:10:03,844
>> "OH, NO, I CAN'T."

361
00:10:03,844 --> 00:10:04,742
>> OH, MY GOSH, Y'ALL.

362
00:10:04,742 --> 00:10:05,432
I CAN'T DO IT.

363
00:10:05,432 --> 00:10:06,329
I'M GONNA HAVE TO REWRITE IT.

364
00:10:06,329 --> 00:10:07,261
I'M GONNA READ Y'ALL THE

365
00:10:07,261 --> 00:10:08,124
BEGINNING OF MINE, AND TELL ME

366
00:10:08,124 --> 00:10:09,056
IF IT'S TOO MUCH.

367
00:10:09,056 --> 00:10:10,920
"RUPAUL, WHERE SHOULD I START?

368
00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:12,370
WITH THE CRACKED OUT BEGINNING

369
00:10:12,370 --> 00:10:13,751
OF YOUR CAREER OR THE CRACKING

370
00:10:13,751 --> 00:10:14,786
OF YOUR VOICE AT EVERY LIVE

371
00:10:14,786 --> 00:10:18,341
PERFORMANCE?"

372
00:10:18,341 --> 00:10:19,653
OH, MY GOSH.

373
00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:21,862
Y'ALL, AM I JUST GONNA BE TOO--

374
00:10:21,862 --> 00:10:23,588
IS THAT TOO MUCH, ROXXXY?

375
00:10:23,588 --> 00:10:25,107
[laughs]

376
00:10:25,107 --> 00:10:26,004
[rubs hands together]

377
00:10:26,004 --> 00:10:27,040
>> SHE'S SAYING HER JOKES ARE SO

378
00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:28,731
MUCH AND SHE SAYS HER JOKE,

379
00:10:28,731 --> 00:10:29,421
BITCH, AND YOU CAN HEAR

380
00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:30,284
CRICKETS.

381
00:10:30,284 --> 00:10:31,492
>> I CAN'T.

382
00:10:31,492 --> 00:10:32,597
I CAN'T.

383
00:10:32,597 --> 00:10:33,805
I CAN'T.

384
00:10:33,805 --> 00:10:34,703
>> YOU GO BACK IN YOUR CORNER,

385
00:10:34,703 --> 00:10:35,462
AND YOU FIGURE IT THE FUCK

386
00:10:35,462 --> 00:10:36,636
OUT, AND COME BACK AND TALK TO

387
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:37,360
US WHEN YOU GOT SOMETHING

388
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:38,189
TOGETHER.

389
00:10:38,189 --> 00:10:41,192
DARLING.

390
00:10:41,192 --> 00:10:42,745
>> HELLO, HELLO, HELLO.

391
00:10:42,745 --> 00:10:43,815
[all shout]

392
00:10:43,815 --> 00:10:45,230
>> SURPRISE.

393
00:10:45,230 --> 00:10:47,491
>> NO, NO, NO.

394
00:10:47,491 --> 00:10:49,338
>> SINCE NOBODY KNOWS RUPAUL

395
00:10:49,338 --> 00:10:51,064
BETTER THAN ME, I AM HERE TO

396
00:10:51,064 --> 00:10:53,169
HELP YOU ALL WITH YOUR ROAST

397
00:10:53,169 --> 00:10:53,980
MATERIAL.

398
00:10:53,980 --> 00:10:55,585
>> OH, MY GOD.

399
00:10:55,585 --> 00:10:57,173
>> HELLO, ALASKA.

400
00:10:57,173 --> 00:10:58,071
>> HI.

401
00:10:58,071 --> 00:10:59,037
>> TELL ME WHAT YOU GOT.

402
00:10:59,037 --> 00:10:59,900
YOU'RE A SMART ONE.

403
00:10:59,900 --> 00:11:02,247
>> WELL, I'M HITTING HER MUSIC,

404
00:11:02,247 --> 00:11:03,386
HER MOVIES--

405
00:11:03,386 --> 00:11:04,077
>> WHAT ABOUT THE MUSIC?

406
00:11:04,077 --> 00:11:05,319
>> RU, YOUR MUSIC IS SO

407
00:11:05,319 --> 00:11:06,804
AUTO-TUNED YOU MAKE CHER SOUND

408
00:11:06,804 --> 00:11:08,184
LIKE SUSAN BOYLE.

409
00:11:08,184 --> 00:11:09,945
>> [laughs]

410
00:11:09,945 --> 00:11:10,877
GOOD.

411
00:11:10,877 --> 00:11:12,982
IT'S SO NICE TO SEE ALASKA

412
00:11:12,982 --> 00:11:13,742
AGAIN.

413
00:11:13,742 --> 00:11:14,984
>> HI.

414
00:11:14,984 --> 00:11:15,675
>> NOW, YOU WON

415
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:16,745
THE MINI-CHALLENGE.

416
00:11:16,745 --> 00:11:17,435
>> YES.

417
00:11:17,435 --> 00:11:18,160
>> SO YOU WERE IN CHARGE OF

418
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:18,816
THE ORDER?

419
00:11:18,816 --> 00:11:19,506
>> MM-HMM.

420
00:11:19,506 --> 00:11:20,162
>> SO HOW DID YOU DECIDE HOW

421
00:11:20,162 --> 00:11:20,956
EVERYBODY WAS GONNA GO?

422
00:11:20,956 --> 00:11:22,336
>> I ASKED EVERYONE IF THEY HAVE

423
00:11:22,336 --> 00:11:23,821
A PREFERENCE AS TO IF THEY WANNA

424
00:11:23,821 --> 00:11:24,960
GO IN THE BEGINNING, THE MIDDLE,

425
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:25,995
THE END.

426
00:11:25,995 --> 00:11:30,448
AND I PUT MYSELF FIRST.

427
00:11:30,448 --> 00:11:31,621
>> YEAH, ARE--ARE YOU GOING FOR

428
00:11:31,621 --> 00:11:33,485
MISS CONGENIALITY OR AMERICA'S

429
00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:34,970
NEXT DRAG SUPERSTAR HERE?

430
00:11:34,970 --> 00:11:35,971
>> UM--

431
00:11:35,971 --> 00:11:37,800
>> IN THE END, SOMEONE'S GOTTA

432
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:38,628
GO DOWN, RIGHT?

433
00:11:38,628 --> 00:11:39,526
>> YEAH.

434
00:11:39,526 --> 00:11:41,666
>> IT COULD BE YOU.

435
00:11:41,666 --> 00:11:44,980
SEE YOU AT THE ROAST, BABY.

436
00:11:44,980 --> 00:11:46,844
HI, ROXXXY GIRL.

437
00:11:46,844 --> 00:11:48,604
>> HI, MICHELLE.

438
00:11:48,604 --> 00:11:49,605
>> DOES THIS CHALLENGE MAKE YOU

439
00:11:49,605 --> 00:11:50,502
NERVOUS?

440
00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:51,607
>> READING IS SOMETHING I'VE

441
00:11:51,607 --> 00:11:52,677
ALWAYS DONE TO THE QUEENS AT

442
00:11:52,677 --> 00:11:53,333
THE BAR.

443
00:11:53,333 --> 00:11:54,472
YOU KNOW, THEY THINK I'M A MEAN

444
00:11:54,472 --> 00:11:55,715
GIRL ANYWAYS, BUT--

445
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:56,854
>> HOW DO YOU PLAN ON READING

446
00:11:56,854 --> 00:11:58,372
SOMEBODY LIKE RU?

447
00:11:58,372 --> 00:11:59,408
>> HER MUSIC, HOW SHE SINGS.

448
00:11:59,408 --> 00:12:00,271
>> HOW DOES SHE SING?

449
00:12:00,271 --> 00:12:01,617
>> IT'S AUTO-TUNE.

450
00:12:01,617 --> 00:12:02,722
>> AUTO-TUNE SEEMS TO BE

451
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:03,964
A COMMON THING SO FAR.

452
00:12:03,964 --> 00:12:06,380
SO YOU MIGHT WANNA LISTEN, AND

453
00:12:06,380 --> 00:12:07,692
IF SOMETHING'S REPEATED, TAKE IT

454
00:12:07,692 --> 00:12:09,729
OUT OR MAKE IT FUNNIER--

455
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:10,833
>> THAN THE PERSON BEFORE YOU.

456
00:12:10,833 --> 00:12:11,592
>> YES.

457
00:12:11,592 --> 00:12:12,386
>> AND I CAN BE FUNNIER THAN

458
00:12:12,386 --> 00:12:13,042
ALASKA.

459
00:12:13,042 --> 00:12:13,733
>> [gasps]

460
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:14,388
>> [laughs]

461
00:12:14,388 --> 00:12:15,044
>> KEEP IT FUNNY.

462
00:12:15,044 --> 00:12:15,769
THAT'S ALL WE CAN TELL YOU.

463
00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:17,253
>> YES, MA'AM.

464
00:12:17,253 --> 00:12:18,668
>> IVY WINTERS.

465
00:12:18,668 --> 00:12:19,739
>> HI, BEAUTIFUL.

466
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:20,878
>> HOW ARE YOU?

467
00:12:20,878 --> 00:12:21,879
>> A LITTLE BIT NERVOUS, TO BE

468
00:12:21,879 --> 00:12:22,983
HONEST.

469
00:12:22,983 --> 00:12:24,364
I DON'T CONSIDER MYSELF

470
00:12:24,364 --> 00:12:25,917
A COMEDIAN, SO IT'S DEFINITELY

471
00:12:25,917 --> 00:12:26,884
A CHALLENGE FOR ME.

472
00:12:26,884 --> 00:12:27,988
>> WHAT KIND OF TOPICS ARE YOU

473
00:12:27,988 --> 00:12:28,955
GONNA BE ROASTING RU ON?

474
00:12:28,955 --> 00:12:30,197
>> I KNOW HE WEARS AMAZING

475
00:12:30,197 --> 00:12:31,854
COSTUMES, SO I THINK I'M GONNA

476
00:12:31,854 --> 00:12:33,062
KIND OF HIT ON THAT.

477
00:12:33,062 --> 00:12:34,650
>> HOW ARE RU'S DRESSES FUNNY?

478
00:12:34,650 --> 00:12:36,617
I MEAN, THEY'RE FLAWLESS.

479
00:12:36,617 --> 00:12:37,411
GIVE ME ANOTHER ONE.

480
00:12:37,411 --> 00:12:40,656
>> UM, I KNOW SANTINO BEING

481
00:12:40,656 --> 00:12:42,969
A SEWER AND HE DESIGNS, UM--

482
00:12:42,969 --> 00:12:45,143
>> SOME SEWING JOKES?

483
00:12:45,143 --> 00:12:48,215
>> SOME SEWING JOKES?
DOESN'T SOUND TOO FUNNY.

484
00:12:48,215 --> 00:12:50,355
DOESN'T SOUND TOO FUNNY.

485
00:12:50,355 --> 00:12:53,945
YOUR PAGE IS EMPTY.

486
00:12:53,945 --> 00:12:54,774
>> I THINK I'VE RIPPED OUT,

487
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:55,844
LIKE, FIVE PAGES.

488
00:12:55,844 --> 00:12:56,672
I'M REALLY TRYING TO RACK MY

489
00:12:56,672 --> 00:12:57,328
BRAIN.

490
00:12:57,328 --> 00:12:58,708
>> KEEP RACKING.

491
00:12:58,708 --> 00:12:59,917
I'M GONNA LET YOU BACK AT IT.

492
00:12:59,917 --> 00:13:01,090
KEEP ON KEEPING ON, BABY.

493
00:13:01,090 --> 00:13:03,161
>> ALL RIGHT.

494
00:13:03,161 --> 00:13:05,267
>> COCO MONTRESE.

495
00:13:05,267 --> 00:13:06,786
HI, GORGEOUS.

496
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:07,717
>> HOW ARE YOU?

497
00:13:07,717 --> 00:13:08,857
>> HOW ARE YOU FEELING ABOUT

498
00:13:08,857 --> 00:13:09,547
THIS CHALLENGE?

499
00:13:09,547 --> 00:13:11,204
>> I'M NOT A COMEDIAN BY--BY

500
00:13:11,204 --> 00:13:12,999
FAR, BUT I'M TAKING A DIFFERENT

501
00:13:12,999 --> 00:13:14,483
APPROACH THAN, YOU KNOW, A LOT

502
00:13:14,483 --> 00:13:15,139
OF THE OTHER GIRLS IN THIS

503
00:13:15,139 --> 00:13:16,002
COMPETITION.

504
00:13:16,002 --> 00:13:19,177
I'M GONNA BE COCO MONTRESE,

505
00:13:19,177 --> 00:13:20,730
RU'S OLD CHILDHOOD FRIEND FROM

506
00:13:20,730 --> 00:13:21,697
THE BREWSTER PROJECTS.

507
00:13:21,697 --> 00:13:22,836
>> OKAY.

508
00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:23,975
I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT FOR YOU,

509
00:13:23,975 --> 00:13:25,080
THIS CHALLENGE, COCO.

510
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:26,115
>> VERY.

511
00:13:26,115 --> 00:13:28,083
I'VE BEEN IN THE BOTTOM TWICE.

512
00:13:28,083 --> 00:13:29,636
>> SO LET'S DELIVER THIS SHIT.

513
00:13:29,636 --> 00:13:30,292
>> I WILL DELIVER.

514
00:13:30,292 --> 00:13:31,086
>> ALL RIGHT.

515
00:13:31,086 --> 00:13:32,639
>> THANKS.

516
00:13:32,639 --> 00:13:33,882
NO RUPOLOGIES.

517
00:13:33,882 --> 00:13:35,884
I'M NOT GONNA APOLOGIZE ANYMORE.

518
00:13:35,884 --> 00:13:37,678
I'M GONNA SHOW HIM WHAT I'M MADE

519
00:13:37,678 --> 00:13:39,991
OF.

520
00:13:39,991 --> 00:13:41,613
>> ALYSSA EDWARDS.

521
00:13:41,613 --> 00:13:43,201
>> MISS MICHELLE, THE FIRST

522
00:13:43,201 --> 00:13:44,237
LADY, HOW ARE YOU?

523
00:13:44,237 --> 00:13:46,791
>> I LOVE IT.

524
00:13:46,791 --> 00:13:49,380
ARE YOU A FUNNY QUEEN, ALYSSA?

525
00:13:49,380 --> 00:13:51,002
>> WITH READING, SOME PEOPLE CAN

526
00:13:51,002 --> 00:13:52,486
TAKE IT PERSONAL.

527
00:13:52,486 --> 00:13:53,729
>> OKAY, THEY CAN TAKE IT

528
00:13:53,729 --> 00:13:56,076
PERSONALLY IF IT'S NOT FUNNY.

529
00:13:56,076 --> 00:13:58,285
BUT IF IT'S FUNNY, YOU'RE ALMOST

530
00:13:58,285 --> 00:13:58,941
FORGIVEN.

531
00:13:58,941 --> 00:13:59,942
IT'S, LIKE, GIVEN A PASS.

532
00:13:59,942 --> 00:14:00,701
>> RIGHT.

533
00:14:00,701 --> 00:14:01,702
BUT YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE WITH

534
00:14:01,702 --> 00:14:02,807
YOUR FRIENDS, AND YOU'RE LIKE,

535
00:14:02,807 --> 00:14:03,981
"GIRL, THAT OUTFIT IS TIRED AND

536
00:14:03,981 --> 00:14:04,671
RIDICULOUS.

537
00:14:04,671 --> 00:14:05,568
YOU LOOK LATE.

538
00:14:05,568 --> 00:14:06,811
BITCH, YOU NEED TO GO CHANGE."

539
00:14:06,811 --> 00:14:07,708
>> THAT'S NOT A JOKE.

540
00:14:07,708 --> 00:14:09,952
THAT'S A READ.

541
00:14:09,952 --> 00:14:12,161
>> IT IS, BUT IT'S STILL BEING

542
00:14:12,161 --> 00:14:13,059
FUNNY.

543
00:14:13,059 --> 00:14:15,026
>> IT'S NOT A JOKE.

544
00:14:15,026 --> 00:14:16,027
>> NOT A JOKE, NO.

545
00:14:16,027 --> 00:14:17,408
>> AND I'VE TAKEN IT PERSONAL

546
00:14:17,408 --> 00:14:19,582
BEFORE, BECAUSE I HAD A GIRL IN

547
00:14:19,582 --> 00:14:20,790
THIS COMPETITION TELL ME I WAS

548
00:14:20,790 --> 00:14:22,309
FAT IN MY COSTUME.

549
00:14:22,309 --> 00:14:24,725
>> IT'S NOT A JOKE.

550
00:14:24,725 --> 00:14:25,692
GOTTA BE FUNNY.

551
00:14:25,692 --> 00:14:26,348
>> OKAY.

552
00:14:26,348 --> 00:14:27,728
>> IT HAS TO BE JOKE AFTER JOKE

553
00:14:27,728 --> 00:14:28,557
AFTER JOKE.

554
00:14:28,557 --> 00:14:29,351
ALL RIGHT, SO I'M GONNA LET YOU

555
00:14:29,351 --> 00:14:30,041
GO BACK TO YOUR WORK.

556
00:14:30,041 --> 00:14:30,870
>> OKAY. THANK YOU, MICHELLE.

557
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:31,560
>> ALL RIGHT, BABY.

558
00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:34,114
GOOD LUCK.

559
00:14:34,114 --> 00:14:35,115
ALL RIGHT, LADIES.

560
00:14:35,115 --> 00:14:36,530
GATHER ROUND.

561
00:14:36,530 --> 00:14:38,291
IN A MOMENT, YOU'LL BE MEETING

562
00:14:38,291 --> 00:14:39,671
WITH YOUR COMEDY COACHES.

563
00:14:39,671 --> 00:14:42,053
AND TOMORROW WE'LL BE JOINED BY

564
00:14:42,053 --> 00:14:44,400
OUR EXTRA SPECIAL GUEST JUDGES

565
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,023
STAR OF TV AND STAGE, LESLIE

566
00:14:46,023 --> 00:14:46,713
JORDAN...

567
00:14:46,713 --> 00:14:48,818
[all cheer]

568
00:14:48,818 --> 00:14:50,855
AND ABSOLUT VODKA GURU,

569
00:14:50,855 --> 00:14:52,270
JEFFREY MORAN.

570
00:14:52,270 --> 00:14:54,065
>> OH, YAY.

571
00:14:54,065 --> 00:14:55,687
>> SO COME DECKED OUT IN YOUR

572
00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:57,897
SWANKIEST COCKTAIL ATTIRE.

573
00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,934
OH, AND ONE MORE THING.

574
00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:02,763
YOU'LL BE ROASTING RU IN FRONT

575
00:15:02,763 --> 00:15:03,903
OF A LIVE AUDIENCE.

576
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,318
>> OH, MY GOSH!

577
00:15:05,318 --> 00:15:06,319
[all shout]

578
00:15:06,319 --> 00:15:07,389
>> OH, SHUT UP!

579
00:15:07,389 --> 00:15:09,563
>> SO DON'T FUCK IT UP.

580
00:15:09,563 --> 00:15:10,944
BYESIES.

581
00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:13,015
BYESIES.
>> BYE.

582
00:15:13,015 --> 00:15:20,678
>> BYE.

583
00:15:20,678 --> 00:15:21,679
>> [snores]

584
00:15:21,679 --> 00:15:24,578
I DO HAVE NARCOLEPSY, AND IN

585
00:15:24,578 --> 00:15:25,717
THE MOMENT WHERE I'M MOST

586
00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:27,788
WORRIED ABOUT MY JOKES, MY BODY

587
00:15:27,788 --> 00:15:30,274
WORRIED ABOUT MY JOKES, MY BODY
STARTS TO SHUT DOWN.

588
00:15:30,274 --> 00:15:37,143
STARTS TO SHUT DOWN.

589
00:15:37,143 --> 00:15:38,385
>> YOU MIGHT THINK I WANNA SAY

590
00:15:38,385 --> 00:15:40,128
"JINKX, WAKE UP."

591
00:15:40,128 --> 00:15:42,424
BUT SORRY, GIRL.

592
00:15:42,424 --> 00:15:45,737
>> [snores]

593
00:15:45,737 --> 00:15:46,911
>> COMING UP...

594
00:15:46,911 --> 00:15:49,362
>> SANTINO, WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT

595
00:15:49,362 --> 00:15:50,984
THE FUCK UP?

596
00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:52,710
[laughs]

597
00:15:52,710 --> 00:15:54,954
>> IT HAS TO BE FUNNY.

598
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:57,715
SERIOUSLY.

599
00:15:57,715 --> 00:15:59,786
SERIOUSLY.
>> [laughs]

600
00:15:59,786 --> 00:16:02,099
>> [laughs]

601
00:16:02,099 --> 00:16:05,015
>> [laughs]

602
00:16:05,015 --> 00:16:06,310
>> JINKX IS HERE.

603
00:16:06,310 --> 00:16:07,138
>> HI, JINKXY.

604
00:16:07,138 --> 00:16:07,828
>> HI, JINKX.

605
00:16:07,828 --> 00:16:08,968
>> OUR COACHES TODAY ARE DEVEN

606
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,591
GREEN, BRUCE VILANCH, AND NADYA

607
00:16:11,591 --> 00:16:12,695
GINSBURG.

608
00:16:12,695 --> 00:16:15,750
I AM MOST SHAKEN BY DEVEN GREEN.

609
00:16:15,750 --> 00:16:17,252
I HAVE BEEN DOING HER "WELCOME

610
00:16:17,252 --> 00:16:19,219
TO MY HOME" VIDEO SHTICK FOR

611
00:16:19,219 --> 00:16:20,548
YEARS.

612
00:16:20,548 --> 00:16:22,050
SO I'M JUST GONNA RATTLE THROUGH

613
00:16:22,050 --> 00:16:23,085
ALL OF THIS.

614
00:16:23,085 --> 00:16:24,155
>> COOL.

615
00:16:24,155 --> 00:16:26,330
>> RUPAUL, YOU ARE PULLED--

616
00:16:26,330 --> 00:16:27,883
[clears throat]

617
00:16:27,883 --> 00:16:29,747
RUPAUL IN HER HEYDAY WOULD HAVE

618
00:16:29,747 --> 00:16:31,024
MADE--AH.

619
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:33,596
I RUINED IT.

620
00:16:33,596 --> 00:16:35,580
>> STOP BEING SUCH AN ADULT

621
00:16:35,580 --> 00:16:38,428
AND BE A FUN-LOVING PERFORMER.

622
00:16:38,428 --> 00:16:39,412
>> OKAY.

623
00:16:39,412 --> 00:16:41,828
MY CAREER AS A COMEDIAN MIGHT BE

624
00:16:41,828 --> 00:16:43,726
ON THE LINE HERE.

625
00:16:43,726 --> 00:16:47,247
>> RUPAUL, HOW DO YOU GET TO BE

626
00:16:47,247 --> 00:16:49,491
SUPERMODEL OF THE WORLD?

627
00:16:49,491 --> 00:16:50,699
WHEN YOU FIND OUT, CAN YOU LET

628
00:16:50,699 --> 00:16:53,012
ME KNOW?

629
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,875
>> WELL, THAT IS A STARTING

630
00:16:54,875 --> 00:16:56,118
POINT FOR SOMEWHERE THAT YOU

631
00:16:56,118 --> 00:16:56,826
DIDN'T GO.

632
00:16:56,826 --> 00:16:59,018
JUST GO DEEPER, AS SOMEBODY ONCE

633
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,226
SAID TO ME WHO I NEVER DATED

634
00:17:00,226 --> 00:17:01,020
AGAIN.

635
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,228
>> DON'T BE AFRAID TO GO OUT

636
00:17:02,228 --> 00:17:03,643
THERE AND REALLY BE AS VICIOUS

637
00:17:03,643 --> 00:17:04,713
AS YOU CAN, BECAUSE THAT'S THE

638
00:17:04,713 --> 00:17:05,662
NAME OF THE GAME.

639
00:17:05,662 --> 00:17:06,715
>> I'D WRITE THAT DOWN.

640
00:17:06,715 --> 00:17:08,096
IT'S A GREAT NOTE.

641
00:17:08,096 --> 00:17:10,029
>> I'M WRITING THAT DOWN.

642
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,064
>> LET'S TALK ABOUT MICHELLE

643
00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:11,927
VISAGE.

644
00:17:11,927 --> 00:17:13,032
EVERYBODY, MICHELLE VISAGE.

645
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,550
SHE'S LOVELY.

646
00:17:14,550 --> 00:17:16,449
WHO DID YOUR BOOB JOB, MICHELLE?

647
00:17:16,449 --> 00:17:19,797
BOOBSFORQUEENS.COM?

648
00:17:19,797 --> 00:17:22,041
THEY--THEY DO BREAST PLATES FOR

649
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:22,903
DRAG QUEENS.

650
00:17:22,903 --> 00:17:24,215
>> I THINK YOU NEED SOMETHING

651
00:17:24,215 --> 00:17:27,149
A LITTLE EASIER TO PROCESS.

652
00:17:27,149 --> 00:17:29,289
JUST MAKE SURE YOU REALLY DRIVE

653
00:17:29,289 --> 00:17:30,911
IT HOME.

654
00:17:30,911 --> 00:17:32,327
>> COCO!

655
00:17:32,327 --> 00:17:34,053
>> TOMORROW, I'M JUST GOING WITH

656
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,985
I'M RU GOOD FRIEND FROM

657
00:17:35,985 --> 00:17:36,883
THE PROJECTS.

658
00:17:36,883 --> 00:17:38,333
RU DON'T KNOW I'M GONNA BE HERE.

659
00:17:38,333 --> 00:17:39,334
YOU KNOW, STRAIGHT FROM THE

660
00:17:39,334 --> 00:17:40,093
HOOD.

661
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:41,646
IT'S GONNA BE A STRETCH FOR ME.

662
00:17:41,646 --> 00:17:42,302
>> [laughs]

663
00:17:42,302 --> 00:17:42,992
>> ALL RIGHT.

664
00:17:42,992 --> 00:17:44,235
>> I'MA SAY, "YOU KNOW, RU,

665
00:17:44,235 --> 00:17:45,650
I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU GONNA DO

666
00:17:45,650 --> 00:17:47,514
WHEN THAT ENTOURAGE OF MAKEUP

667
00:17:47,514 --> 00:17:49,240
ARTISTS YOU GOT GO ON STRIKE.

668
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:50,483
I SEEN YOU DO YOUR MAKEUP BY

669
00:17:50,483 --> 00:17:51,725
YOURSELF, FOOL."

670
00:17:51,725 --> 00:17:52,933
>> I WOULD BE MINDFUL OF--IT

671
00:17:52,933 --> 00:17:55,039
SHOULD BE LIGHT-HEARTED, NOT

672
00:17:55,039 --> 00:17:56,937
MALICIOUS AND MEAN-SPIRITED.

673
00:17:56,937 --> 00:17:58,594
>> LIKE HER FACE HAS BEEN BEAT

674
00:17:58,594 --> 00:18:00,527
MORE TIMES THAN SUSAN LUCCI AT

675
00:18:00,527 --> 00:18:01,701
THE DAYTIME EMMYS.

676
00:18:01,701 --> 00:18:02,926
>> RIGHT.

677
00:18:02,926 --> 00:18:05,411
>> COCO IS NOT A COMEDIAN.

678
00:18:05,411 --> 00:18:07,327
BUT RUPAUL'S LONG LOST FRIEND

679
00:18:07,327 --> 00:18:09,364
FROM THE BREWSTER PROJECTS IS

680
00:18:09,364 --> 00:18:10,054
A COMEDIAN.

681
00:18:10,054 --> 00:18:12,401
SHE TELL IT LIKE IT T-I-IS.

682
00:18:12,401 --> 00:18:14,058
AND SHE AIN'T APOLOGIZING FOR IT

683
00:18:14,058 --> 00:18:16,716
WHILE SHE PAT HER WEAVE.

684
00:18:16,716 --> 00:18:19,650
>> OKAY, MR. RUPAUL CHARLES.

685
00:18:19,650 --> 00:18:21,617
AFTER YOUR LESS AWARD-EARNING

686
00:18:21,617 --> 00:18:24,241
ROLE IN STARRBOOTY,YOU SHOULD

687
00:18:24,241 --> 00:18:26,105
NOT ONLY SASHAY AWAY, BUT JUMP

688
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:28,176
OFF A DAMN CLIFF.

689
00:18:28,176 --> 00:18:30,039
[laughs]

690
00:18:30,039 --> 00:18:32,559
>> I THINK THE GENERAL RULE IN

691
00:18:32,559 --> 00:18:34,630
A ROAST IS IT'S GREAT TO BE

692
00:18:34,630 --> 00:18:37,357
EVIL, BUT IT HAS TO BE FUNNY.

693
00:18:37,357 --> 00:18:38,496
YOU GOTTA HAVE A COUPLE OF

694
00:18:38,496 --> 00:18:40,602
JOKES, SERIOUSLY.

695
00:18:40,602 --> 00:18:43,087
>> SANTINO, WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT

696
00:18:43,087 --> 00:18:44,226
THE FUCK UP WITH YOUR

697
00:18:44,226 --> 00:18:48,161
NO-DRAG-KNOWLEDGE MOUTH?

698
00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:51,509
[laughs]

699
00:18:51,509 --> 00:18:54,409
>> DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE JOKES?

700
00:18:54,409 --> 00:18:57,032
>> [chuckles]

701
00:18:57,032 --> 00:18:58,137
>> I'LL JUST START WITH MY WHOLE

702
00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,345
SPIEL ABOUT LESLIE JORDAN.

703
00:18:59,345 --> 00:19:01,036
THE MOVIE THE HELPIS CHOCK-FULL

704
00:19:01,036 --> 00:19:02,658
OF UNBELIEVABLE PERFORMANCES.

705
00:19:02,658 --> 00:19:03,970
THE MOST UNBELIEVABLE IS YOU

706
00:19:03,970 --> 00:19:05,316
BEING A HETEROSEXUAL.

707
00:19:05,316 --> 00:19:06,973
LESLIE, YOU'RE GAYER THAN GEORGE

708
00:19:06,973 --> 00:19:08,250
MICHAEL FUCKING ELTON JOHN.

709
00:19:08,250 --> 00:19:09,527
>> IT'S IMPORTANT THAT YOU NOT

710
00:19:09,527 --> 00:19:10,563
RUSH.

711
00:19:10,563 --> 00:19:11,633
TAKE YOUR TIME.

712
00:19:11,633 --> 00:19:14,118
>> AND FIND THE FUNNIEST NUGGET.

713
00:19:14,118 --> 00:19:15,706
TAKE IT EVEN ONE STEP FURTHER

714
00:19:15,706 --> 00:19:17,483
WITH SOME OF THE PUNCH LINES.

715
00:19:17,483 --> 00:19:19,054
>> RU AND THE REST OF THE JUDGES

716
00:19:19,054 --> 00:19:21,177
ARE EXPECTING A LOT OUT OF ME.

717
00:19:21,177 --> 00:19:24,542
I HAVE TO BE FUNNY.

718
00:19:24,542 --> 00:19:26,130
>> ROXXXY.

719
00:19:26,130 --> 00:19:27,200
LET'S HEAR YOUR MATERIAL.

720
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:28,512
>> OKAY, LET'S START WITH RU.

721
00:19:28,512 --> 00:19:31,825
YOUR LAUGH IS AS FAKE AS

722
00:19:31,825 --> 00:19:32,861
LEE PRESS-ON NAILS.

723
00:19:32,861 --> 00:19:34,207
THEY'RE STICKY, ANNOYING, AND

724
00:19:34,207 --> 00:19:35,657
NEVER FUN.

725
00:19:35,657 --> 00:19:36,692
THEN AGAIN, SO IS

726
00:19:36,692 --> 00:19:39,247
ALYSSA EDWARDS.

727
00:19:39,247 --> 00:19:40,282
>> WHAT DO YOU CALL IT WHEN YOU

728
00:19:40,282 --> 00:19:41,318
FLATLINE?

729
00:19:41,318 --> 00:19:42,319
>> YOU'RE DEAD.

730
00:19:42,319 --> 00:19:43,630
>> CODE BLUE.

731
00:19:43,630 --> 00:19:45,943
>> THANK YOU.

732
00:19:45,943 --> 00:19:47,186
MORE, MORE.

733
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:47,979
WHAT ELSE DO YOU HAVE?

734
00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:48,635
>> YEAH, WHAT ELSE--WHAT ARE

735
00:19:48,635 --> 00:19:49,291
YOUR OTHER JOKES?

736
00:19:49,291 --> 00:19:50,016
>> OKAY, THE OTHER ONE I HAVE

737
00:19:50,016 --> 00:19:51,259
FOR RU IS "RU, YOUR ACTING TO ME

738
00:19:51,259 --> 00:19:52,708
IS VERY CUTE.

739
00:19:52,708 --> 00:19:53,675
UNLIKE ALL THE GIRLS THAT ARE

740
00:19:53,675 --> 00:19:56,160
LEFT IN THIS COMPETITION."

741
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:58,680
>> WELL, THAT'S--IT'S NOT REALLY

742
00:19:58,680 --> 00:19:59,336
FUNNY.

743
00:19:59,336 --> 00:20:01,148
IT'S JUST AN INSULT.

744
00:20:01,148 --> 00:20:02,304
>> WHEN THE COACHES COMPLETELY

745
00:20:02,304 --> 00:20:03,961
REJECTED WHAT I WAS GIVING THEM,

746
00:20:03,961 --> 00:20:05,894
IT THREW ME, AND I'M COMPLETELY

747
00:20:05,894 --> 00:20:06,809
DEFEATED.

748
00:20:06,809 --> 00:20:08,241
LIKE, FIRST JOKE OFF THE BAT WAS

749
00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:10,864
JUST, LIKE, "OH, MM, YOU'RE NOT

750
00:20:10,864 --> 00:20:11,934
MAKING US LAUGH.

751
00:20:11,934 --> 00:20:13,246
OKAY, WHAT ELSE DO YOU HAVE?"

752
00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:15,352
AND I WAS LIKE...

753
00:20:15,352 --> 00:20:16,525
I'M, LIKE, REDOING MY WHOLE

754
00:20:16,525 --> 00:20:17,354
SCRIPT RIGHT NOW.

755
00:20:17,354 --> 00:20:18,217
THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME I JUST

756
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,149
WANTED, LIKE, TO LEAVE AND CRY.

757
00:20:20,149 --> 00:20:23,222
WANTED, LIKE, TO LEAVE AND CRY.
IT SUCKS.

758
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:26,880
IT SUCKS.

759
00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:29,918
IT SUCKS.
[sighs]

760
00:20:29,918 --> 00:20:33,767
[sighs]

761
00:20:33,767 --> 00:20:36,235
>> TODAY WE WILL BE ROASTING

762
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:38,375
THE LEGENDARY MS. RUPAUL.

763
00:20:38,375 --> 00:20:41,585
NOT ONLY AM I NERVOUS THAT

764
00:20:41,585 --> 00:20:43,449
WE'RE DOING COMEDY, BUT IT'S IN

765
00:20:43,449 --> 00:20:44,570
FRONT OF A LIVE AUDIENCE.

766
00:20:44,570 --> 00:20:46,106
HONEY, TONIGHT I AM SHAKING IN

767
00:20:46,106 --> 00:20:48,868
HONEY, TONIGHT I AM SHAKING IN
MY PUMPS.

768
00:20:48,868 --> 00:20:52,112
MY PUMPS.

769
00:20:52,112 --> 00:20:54,322
>> MS. JINKX STANDING OVER THERE

770
00:20:54,322 --> 00:20:55,254
LOOKING LIKE THE MAD HATTER

771
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:55,944
RIGHT NOW.

772
00:20:55,944 --> 00:20:56,841
WHAT'S THIS CHALLENGE?

773
00:20:56,841 --> 00:20:59,258
ALICE IN WONDERLAND?

774
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:01,052
>> COCO, WHY ARE YOU STILL DOING

775
00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:02,606
YOUR VENTRILOQUIST DUMMY MAKEUP?

776
00:21:02,606 --> 00:21:05,229
>> all: OOH!

777
00:21:05,229 --> 00:21:06,403
>> JINKX TRY TO ACT LIKE SHE

778
00:21:06,403 --> 00:21:07,473
INNOCENT AND THAT SHE'S NOT

779
00:21:07,473 --> 00:21:08,163
READING.

780
00:21:08,163 --> 00:21:08,922
>> I DON'T ACT LIKE I'M

781
00:21:08,922 --> 00:21:09,716
INNOCENT.

782
00:21:09,716 --> 00:21:11,062
>> NOW, MS. JINKX, I WANNA ASK

783
00:21:11,062 --> 00:21:12,167
YOU THIS FOR REAL, GIRL.

784
00:21:12,167 --> 00:21:13,824
DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU DELIVER

785
00:21:13,824 --> 00:21:14,859
GLAMOUR?

786
00:21:14,859 --> 00:21:16,102
>> I DON'T THINK I DELIVER

787
00:21:16,102 --> 00:21:17,379
ANYTHING BUT WHAT I DELIVER.

788
00:21:17,379 --> 00:21:18,691
AND WHAT I'VE BEEN DELIVERING

789
00:21:18,691 --> 00:21:21,038
LATELY HAS BEEN A BIG, OLD

790
00:21:21,038 --> 00:21:22,004
CONFUSION.

791
00:21:22,004 --> 00:21:23,696
>> THAT'S ALL BULLSHIT.

792
00:21:23,696 --> 00:21:25,076
I'M NOT BELIEVING THAT.

793
00:21:25,076 --> 00:21:26,319
>> YOU AIN'T BUYIN', MS. ROXXXY?

794
00:21:26,319 --> 00:21:27,251
SHE'S SELLIN', AND YOU AIN'T

795
00:21:27,251 --> 00:21:27,907
BUYIN'?

796
00:21:27,907 --> 00:21:28,908
>> I AIN'T BUYIN' SHIT.

797
00:21:28,908 --> 00:21:30,806
YOU COME ACROSS AS "I DON'T

798
00:21:30,806 --> 00:21:32,221
THINK I'M GONNA WIN, BUT I'M

799
00:21:32,221 --> 00:21:33,775
JUST HERE DOING GOOD UNTIL

800
00:21:33,775 --> 00:21:35,294
I CAN'T DO GOOD ANYMORE."

801
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:36,467
>> I FEEL LIKE SOMETIMES WHEN

802
00:21:36,467 --> 00:21:38,366
I DO WELL IN THE CHALLENGES,

803
00:21:38,366 --> 00:21:39,298
I DON'T REALLY GET TO FEEL THAT

804
00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:40,264
GREAT ABOUT IT BECAUSE I GET

805
00:21:40,264 --> 00:21:41,576
BEAT DOWN ON THE RUNWAY.

806
00:21:41,576 --> 00:21:44,164
IT'S MY OWN THING I'M TACKLING.

807
00:21:44,164 --> 00:21:45,200
>> GIRL, THAT'S FAKE TO ME.

808
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:46,926
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DO,

809
00:21:46,926 --> 00:21:48,030
BUT YOU PLAY THE CARD AS THE

810
00:21:48,030 --> 00:21:49,273
INNOCENT, "I DON'T KNOW.

811
00:21:49,273 --> 00:21:50,654
MAYBE I'M IN THE BOTTOM TWO."

812
00:21:50,654 --> 00:21:51,379
AND I FEEL LIKE, YOU KNOW--

813
00:21:51,379 --> 00:21:52,759
>> YEAH, IT'S JUST LIKE, REALLY,

814
00:21:52,759 --> 00:21:53,415
GIRL?

815
00:21:53,415 --> 00:21:54,347
>> I'M NOT ACTING WHEN I SAY I'M

816
00:21:54,347 --> 00:21:55,797
INSECURE ABOUT THINGS THOUGH.

817
00:21:55,797 --> 00:21:57,557
>> MS. JINKX, YOU KNOW EXACTLY

818
00:21:57,557 --> 00:21:58,696
WHAT I'M SAYING, YOU KNOW WHAT

819
00:21:58,696 --> 00:21:59,352
ROLE YOU'RE PLAYING.

820
00:21:59,352 --> 00:22:00,146
>> I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING,

821
00:22:00,146 --> 00:22:02,044
AND I DO NOT AGREE WITH YOU.

822
00:22:02,044 --> 00:22:03,460
IT IS NOT AN ACT WHEN I TELL YOU

823
00:22:03,460 --> 00:22:04,702
I'M NERVOUS ABOUT SHIT.

824
00:22:04,702 --> 00:22:05,841
THAT'S HOW I FEEL.

825
00:22:05,841 --> 00:22:06,808
>> OKAY, WELL, GIRL, IF YOU'RE

826
00:22:06,808 --> 00:22:07,809
NOT GONNA TAKE THE CONSTRUCTIVE

827
00:22:07,809 --> 00:22:09,120
CRITICISM AND HOW I'M JUST

828
00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:10,190
TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO YOU HOW

829
00:22:10,190 --> 00:22:11,744
I FEEL.

830
00:22:11,744 --> 00:22:14,712
>> MANY JOKES AND TWO FACES...

831
00:22:14,712 --> 00:22:15,679
>> OOH!

832
00:22:15,679 --> 00:22:17,888
>> OOH!
>> JINKX MONSOON!

833
00:22:17,888 --> 00:22:22,513
>> JINKX MONSOON!

834
00:22:22,513 --> 00:22:26,586
>> JINKX MONSOON!
>> [laughs]

835
00:22:26,586 --> 00:22:28,450
>> [laughs]

836
00:22:28,450 --> 00:22:29,934
♪ COVER GIRL

837
00:22:29,934 --> 00:22:32,247
♪ PUT THE BASS IN YOUR WALK

838
00:22:32,247 --> 00:22:33,938
♪ HEAD TO TOE

839
00:22:33,938 --> 00:22:36,493
♪ LET YOUR WHOLE BODY TALK

840
00:22:36,493 --> 00:22:38,702
♪ AND WHAT

841
00:22:38,702 --> 00:22:40,600
WELCOME TO THE MAIN STAGE OF

842
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:42,205
RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE.

843
00:22:42,205 --> 00:22:44,259
MICHELLE VISAGE, ARE YOU READY

844
00:22:44,259 --> 00:22:45,433
FOR SOME ROASTING?

845
00:22:45,433 --> 00:22:47,331
>> BRING IT ON, BITCHES.

846
00:22:47,331 --> 00:22:48,608
>> [laughs]

847
00:22:48,608 --> 00:22:49,989
SANTINO RICE.

848
00:22:49,989 --> 00:22:51,715
>> I AM READY TO GET RIBBED FOR

849
00:22:51,715 --> 00:22:52,681
HER PLEASURE.

850
00:22:52,681 --> 00:22:54,545
>> [laughs]

851
00:22:54,545 --> 00:22:56,789
LESLIE JORDAN, ARE YOU SCARED

852
00:22:56,789 --> 00:22:57,824
JUST A LITTLE BIT?

853
00:22:57,824 --> 00:22:59,688
>> TERRIFIED.

854
00:22:59,688 --> 00:23:01,690
>> GOOD. YOU SHOULD BE.

855
00:23:01,690 --> 00:23:04,175
ABSOLUT'S JEFFREY MORAN, WHAT

856
00:23:04,175 --> 00:23:06,850
FLAVOR OF ABSOLUT WOULD THIS BE?

857
00:23:06,850 --> 00:23:08,594
>> ABSOLUT PEARS IN THE GARDEN

858
00:23:08,594 --> 00:23:10,043
OF GOOD AND EVIL.

859
00:23:10,043 --> 00:23:12,183
>> MMM, EVIL.

860
00:23:12,183 --> 00:23:13,702
THIS WEEK WE CHALLENGED OUR

861
00:23:13,702 --> 00:23:15,601
QUEENS TO SHARPEN THEIR COMEDIC

862
00:23:15,601 --> 00:23:18,707
SKILLS IN THE FIRST EVER RUPAUL

863
00:23:18,707 --> 00:23:19,398
ROAST.

864
00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:21,917
SO ENJOY YOUR ABSOLUT COCKTAILS,

865
00:23:21,917 --> 00:23:24,023
AND REMEMBER, IF YOU CAN'T LAUGH

866
00:23:24,023 --> 00:23:26,128
AT YOURSELF, HOW IN THE HELL ARE

867
00:23:26,128 --> 00:23:27,129
YOU GONNA LAUGH AT SOMEBODY

868
00:23:27,129 --> 00:23:27,854
ELSE?

869
00:23:27,854 --> 00:23:29,546
[laughs]

870
00:23:29,546 --> 00:23:31,858
GENTLEMEN, START YOUR ENGINES.

871
00:23:31,858 --> 00:23:34,775
AND MAY THE BEST WOMAN WIN.

872
00:23:34,775 --> 00:23:35,724
>> COMING UP...

873
00:23:35,724 --> 00:23:36,449
>> YOU KNOW AT THE BEGINNING OF

874
00:23:36,449 --> 00:23:37,519
THE SHOW YOU COME IN THE ROOM,

875
00:23:37,519 --> 00:23:39,176
GIRL, PANTS SO HIGH.

876
00:23:39,176 --> 00:23:40,660
HE LOOK LIKE HE IN NEW ORLEANS

877
00:23:40,660 --> 00:23:41,972
IN HURRICANE KATRINA, GIRL.

878
00:23:41,972 --> 00:23:45,700
[all laugh]

879
00:23:45,700 --> 00:23:47,771
[all laugh]
>> [laughs]

880
00:23:47,771 --> 00:23:50,118
>> [laughs]

881
00:23:50,118 --> 00:23:51,809
>> [laughs]

882
00:23:51,809 --> 00:23:54,156
[cheers and applause]

883
00:23:54,156 --> 00:23:55,882
>> HELLO, EVERYONE, AND WELCOME

884
00:23:55,882 --> 00:23:58,851
TO THE FIRST EVER RUPAUL ROAST.

885
00:23:58,851 --> 00:24:01,871
[cheers and applause]

886
00:24:01,871 --> 00:24:03,511
YOU ALL KNOW LESLIE JORDAN.

887
00:24:03,511 --> 00:24:05,409
[cheers and applause]

888
00:24:05,409 --> 00:24:06,065
DON'T LIE.

889
00:24:06,065 --> 00:24:06,721
NO, YOU DON'T.

890
00:24:06,721 --> 00:24:07,549
[all laugh]

891
00:24:07,549 --> 00:24:09,827
LESLIE JORDAN IS THE ONLY MAN ON

892
00:24:09,827 --> 00:24:11,691
EARTH TO HAVE FUCKED MORE GAY

893
00:24:11,691 --> 00:24:13,175
MEN THAN MICHELLE VISAGE.

894
00:24:13,175 --> 00:24:14,453
[all laugh]

895
00:24:14,453 --> 00:24:16,282
MICHELLE VISAGE.

896
00:24:16,282 --> 00:24:17,559
YOU CAN TAKE THE GIRL OUT OF NEW

897
00:24:17,559 --> 00:24:19,423
JERSEY, BUT YOU CAN'T KEEP

898
00:24:19,423 --> 00:24:20,873
THE GIRL FROM GIVING BLOW JOBS

899
00:24:20,873 --> 00:24:21,632
TO HOMELESS MEN ALONG

900
00:24:21,632 --> 00:24:24,842
THE NEW JERSEY TURNPIKE.

901
00:24:24,842 --> 00:24:26,465
BUT WE'RE HERE CELEBRATING

902
00:24:26,465 --> 00:24:27,500
RUPAUL.

903
00:24:27,500 --> 00:24:28,743
RUPAUL, YOU'VE BEEN IN THE

904
00:24:28,743 --> 00:24:31,470
INDUSTRY A LONG, LONG, LONG,

905
00:24:31,470 --> 00:24:37,648
LONG, LONG, LONG, LONG TIME.

906
00:24:37,648 --> 00:24:38,649
RUPAUL IS SO OLD THAT THE

907
00:24:38,649 --> 00:24:40,686
HINDENBURG DISASTER NEARLY

908
00:24:40,686 --> 00:24:42,032
DESTROYED HER BAT MITZVAH.

909
00:24:42,032 --> 00:24:43,447
[all laugh]

910
00:24:43,447 --> 00:24:45,104
RUPAUL IS SO OLD THAT HER

911
00:24:45,104 --> 00:24:47,002
COLOSTOMY BAG IS MADE OF WOOD.

912
00:24:47,002 --> 00:24:48,487
[all laugh]

913
00:24:48,487 --> 00:24:50,419
RUPAUL IS SO OLD THAT, WHEN SHE

914
00:24:50,419 --> 00:24:51,938
OPENS HER LEGS, ALL YOU HEAR

915
00:24:51,938 --> 00:24:53,492
IS--[raspy exhale]

916
00:24:53,492 --> 00:24:56,702
[all laugh]

917
00:24:56,702 --> 00:24:58,980
SHE'S DONE MOVIES, MUSIC,

918
00:24:58,980 --> 00:25:01,361
TELEVISION, AND I HAVE JUST ONE

919
00:25:01,361 --> 00:25:03,432
THING TO SAY.

920
00:25:03,432 --> 00:25:05,987
PLEASE STOP IMMEDIATELY.

921
00:25:05,987 --> 00:25:08,472
[all laugh]

922
00:25:08,472 --> 00:25:09,542
THANK YOU, MAMA.

923
00:25:09,542 --> 00:25:10,509
WE LOVE YOU.

924
00:25:10,509 --> 00:25:12,856
[cheers and applause]

925
00:25:12,856 --> 00:25:14,443
THANK YOU.

926
00:25:14,443 --> 00:25:16,238
IT IS MY GREAT PLEASURE TO

927
00:25:16,238 --> 00:25:17,446
BRING TO THE STAGE OUR NEXT

928
00:25:17,446 --> 00:25:19,276
"ENTERTAINER."

929
00:25:19,276 --> 00:25:21,416
ROXXXY ANDREWS.

930
00:25:21,416 --> 00:25:23,487
AND THAT'S ROXXXY WITH THREE

931
00:25:23,487 --> 00:25:25,316
"X"s, JUST LIKE HER DRESS SIZE.

932
00:25:25,316 --> 00:25:28,578
>> OH!

933
00:25:28,578 --> 00:25:30,856
>> THANK YOU, ALASKA.

934
00:25:30,856 --> 00:25:33,290
A TIRED, BORING, WEIRD,

935
00:25:33,290 --> 00:25:34,740
SECOND-RATE VERSION OF YOUR

936
00:25:34,740 --> 00:25:35,464
HUSBAND.

937
00:25:35,464 --> 00:25:37,259
[audience ohs]

938
00:25:37,259 --> 00:25:38,502
YOU KNOW, RUPAUL, YOU LOVE IT

939
00:25:38,502 --> 00:25:39,848
FOR ALL OF US TO CALL YOU OUR

940
00:25:39,848 --> 00:25:41,091
MOM.

941
00:25:41,091 --> 00:25:42,575
HOW THE FUCK CAN I CALL YOU

942
00:25:42,575 --> 00:25:43,852
MY MOM IF YOU'RE AS OLD AS MY

943
00:25:43,852 --> 00:25:44,715
GRANDPA?

944
00:25:44,715 --> 00:25:47,511
[audience oohs]

945
00:25:47,511 --> 00:25:49,962
MICHELLE VISAGE, WITH THAT MUCH

946
00:25:49,962 --> 00:25:55,554
MAKEUP, ALL OF YOUR WIGS, AND...

947
00:25:55,554 --> 00:25:58,004
LIGHT ON YOUR FACE, MAYBE WE

948
00:25:58,004 --> 00:26:01,214
SHOULD CALL YOU...

949
00:26:01,214 --> 00:26:03,320
MICHELLE MIRAGE.

950
00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:07,807
[scattered laughter]

951
00:26:07,807 --> 00:26:08,843
RUPAUL, I WANNA THANK YOU FOR

952
00:26:08,843 --> 00:26:12,139
HAVING ME HERE TONIGHT.

953
00:26:12,139 --> 00:26:13,364
>> Y'ALL, I'M SO HAPPY TO BE

954
00:26:13,364 --> 00:26:14,020
HERE.

955
00:26:14,020 --> 00:26:14,883
I NEVER BEEN OUT THE HOUSE.

956
00:26:14,883 --> 00:26:16,212
IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME, Y'ALL.

957
00:26:16,212 --> 00:26:17,921
I'M RU GOOD COUSIN FROM

958
00:26:17,921 --> 00:26:18,887
THE BREWSTER PROJECTS.

959
00:26:18,887 --> 00:26:19,647
SHE DIDN'T KNOW I WAS COMING

960
00:26:19,647 --> 00:26:20,337
TONIGHT.

961
00:26:20,337 --> 00:26:21,131
YOU DIDN'T KNOW I WAS GONNA BE

962
00:26:21,131 --> 00:26:21,787
HERE, DID YOU?

963
00:26:21,787 --> 00:26:22,857
>> [laughs]

964
00:26:22,857 --> 00:26:23,823
>> AND MICHELLE--YOU GO BACK

965
00:26:23,823 --> 00:26:24,824
WITH MICHELLE FARTHER THAN YOU

966
00:26:24,824 --> 00:26:25,584
GO BACK WITH ME.

967
00:26:25,584 --> 00:26:26,792
YOU KNEW MICHELLE WHEN MICHELLE

968
00:26:26,792 --> 00:26:27,620
WAS MICHAEL.

969
00:26:27,620 --> 00:26:32,280
[all laugh]

970
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:33,488
SO I'M FLIPPING THROUGH THE

971
00:26:33,488 --> 00:26:35,663
CHANNELS, I SAY, "YOU SEEN RU?

972
00:26:35,663 --> 00:26:36,905
RU ON TV!"

973
00:26:36,905 --> 00:26:39,563
I SAY, "WHAT THE HELL IS HE

974
00:26:39,563 --> 00:26:40,460
THINKING?"

975
00:26:40,460 --> 00:26:41,979
YOU KNOW, AT THE BEGINNING OF

976
00:26:41,979 --> 00:26:42,808
THE SHOW, YOU COME IN THE ROOM,

977
00:26:42,808 --> 00:26:43,498
GIRL.

978
00:26:43,498 --> 00:26:44,775
"HELLO, HELLO!"

979
00:26:44,775 --> 00:26:46,743
GIRL, YOU LOOK LIKE THE BLACK

980
00:26:46,743 --> 00:26:47,916
PEE-WEE HERMAN.

981
00:26:47,916 --> 00:26:50,747
[all laugh]

982
00:26:50,747 --> 00:26:52,541
PANTS SO HIGH.

983
00:26:52,541 --> 00:26:53,888
HE LOOK LIKE HE IN NEW ORLEANS

984
00:26:53,888 --> 00:26:55,372
IN HURRICANE KATRINA, GIRL.

985
00:26:55,372 --> 00:26:59,307
[riotous laughter]

986
00:26:59,307 --> 00:27:01,740
[cheers and applause]

987
00:27:01,740 --> 00:27:03,207
>> IT'S GONNA BE HARD TO TOP

988
00:27:03,207 --> 00:27:04,053
COCO.

989
00:27:04,053 --> 00:27:05,209
BUT LOOK AT HER.

990
00:27:05,209 --> 00:27:07,453
WHO WOULD WANNA TOP COCO?

991
00:27:07,453 --> 00:27:11,388
[all laugh]

992
00:27:11,388 --> 00:27:13,528
MICHELLE VISAGE IS SO FULL OF

993
00:27:13,528 --> 00:27:14,736
SEMEN.

994
00:27:14,736 --> 00:27:15,703
PERIOD.

995
00:27:15,703 --> 00:27:17,152
[all laugh]

996
00:27:17,152 --> 00:27:18,291
NO, SERIOUSLY.

997
00:27:18,291 --> 00:27:20,777
SHE'S A WHORE.

998
00:27:20,777 --> 00:27:23,331
NOW ON TO THE GRAND HIGH BITCH

999
00:27:23,331 --> 00:27:24,539
HERSELF.

1000
00:27:24,539 --> 00:27:26,472
RU, WHAT I ADMIRE MOST ABOUT YOU

1001
00:27:26,472 --> 00:27:28,336
IS YOUR ABILITY TO LOOK AT THESE

1002
00:27:28,336 --> 00:27:30,787
TIRED QUEENS AND ALWAYS FIND

1003
00:27:30,787 --> 00:27:33,686
A COMPLIMENT FOR THEM.

1004
00:27:33,686 --> 00:27:35,239
YOU'RE SO FULL OF SHIT,

1005
00:27:35,239 --> 00:27:36,378
THE TOILET'S JEALOUS.

1006
00:27:36,378 --> 00:27:38,933
[all laugh]

1007
00:27:38,933 --> 00:27:43,023
GIVE IT UP FOR RUPAUL.

1008
00:27:43,023 --> 00:27:47,614
>> HELLO, EVERYONE.

1009
00:27:47,614 --> 00:27:49,495
HAVING SEX WITH SANTINO IS A LOT

1010
00:27:49,495 --> 00:27:52,567
LIKE RU'S MUSIC CAREER.

1011
00:27:52,567 --> 00:27:53,568
AWKWARD.

1012
00:27:53,568 --> 00:27:54,707
>> YOU WOULD KNOW.

1013
00:27:54,707 --> 00:27:56,398
>> [laughs]

1014
00:27:56,398 --> 00:27:57,434
>> I FEEL LIKE WHENEVER MICHELLE

1015
00:27:57,434 --> 00:27:59,608
FARTS, A FAIRY GETS HER WINGS.

1016
00:27:59,608 --> 00:28:01,956
[all laugh]

1017
00:28:01,956 --> 00:28:04,337
SPEAKING OF FAIRIES, HELLO,

1018
00:28:04,337 --> 00:28:08,100
LESLIE.

1019
00:28:08,100 --> 00:28:11,103
RUPAUL, WITH THESE LONG LEGS AND

1020
00:28:11,103 --> 00:28:12,449
FEATHERS YOU LIKE TO WEAR,

1021
00:28:12,449 --> 00:28:14,485
YOU'RE ONE STEP AWAY FROM

1022
00:28:14,485 --> 00:28:15,797
LOOKING LIKE BIG BIRD'S

1023
00:28:15,797 --> 00:28:16,556
GRANDMOTHER.

1024
00:28:16,556 --> 00:28:17,730
[audience oohs]

1025
00:28:17,730 --> 00:28:19,853
[cheers and applause]

1026
00:28:19,853 --> 00:28:21,734
>> I THOUGHT I HAD AUDITIONED

1027
00:28:21,734 --> 00:28:24,599
FOR RUPAUL'S NEXT--

1028
00:28:24,599 --> 00:28:25,565
[microphone feedback]

1029
00:28:25,565 --> 00:28:27,809
DRAG QUEEN OF THE YEAR.

1030
00:28:27,809 --> 00:28:28,793
[microphone feedback]

1031
00:28:28,793 --> 00:28:30,018
LITTLE DID I KNOW I WAS WALKING

1032
00:28:30,018 --> 00:28:31,986
INTO THE LARGEST CROSS-DRESSING

1033
00:28:31,986 --> 00:28:33,263
CONVENTION OF ALL TIME.

1034
00:28:33,263 --> 00:28:35,230
[scattered laughter]

1035
00:28:35,230 --> 00:28:36,715
BUT THIS IS ABOUT YOU, MOTHER

1036
00:28:36,715 --> 00:28:38,233
RU...

1037
00:28:38,233 --> 00:28:40,926
FROM THE CRACKED OUT NIGHTS IN

1038
00:28:40,926 --> 00:28:43,204
THE BATHROOM OR THE CRACKING OF

1039
00:28:43,204 --> 00:28:44,446
YOUR VOICE AT EVERY LIVE

1040
00:28:44,446 --> 00:28:46,483
PERFORMANCE.

1041
00:28:46,483 --> 00:28:48,450
THIS WAS THE BEST BUNCH OF

1042
00:28:48,450 --> 00:28:49,624
PEOPLE YOU COULD GET TO COME

1043
00:28:49,624 --> 00:28:51,143
JUDGE?

1044
00:28:51,143 --> 00:28:54,318
CAN I GET A GAY MAN?

1045
00:28:54,318 --> 00:28:56,873
SANTINO RICE, WHAT THE HELL YOU

1046
00:28:56,873 --> 00:28:59,289
KNOW ABOUT WINNING SOMETHING?

1047
00:28:59,289 --> 00:29:00,980
BUT YOU AND COCO MONTRESE DO

1048
00:29:00,980 --> 00:29:02,602
SHARE SOMETHING IN COMMON, OKAY.

1049
00:29:02,602 --> 00:29:03,880
AND THAT'S NOT ONLY YOUR FOOLISH

1050
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:05,502
WARDROBE, BUT BEING

1051
00:29:05,502 --> 00:29:06,261
A RUNNER-UP--

1052
00:29:06,261 --> 00:29:07,228
>> OH...

1053
00:29:07,228 --> 00:29:08,677
>> DON'T GET BITTER.

1054
00:29:08,677 --> 00:29:09,782
JUST GET BETTER.

1055
00:29:09,782 --> 00:29:11,197
[microphone feedback]

1056
00:29:11,197 --> 00:29:13,268
I THANK YOU, AND GOOD NIGHT.

1057
00:29:13,268 --> 00:29:17,290
[applause]

1058
00:29:17,290 --> 00:29:18,480
>> GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND

1059
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:19,136
GENTLEMEN.

1060
00:29:19,136 --> 00:29:20,275
WASN'T HE DELIGHTFUL?

1061
00:29:20,275 --> 00:29:22,260
[all laugh]

1062
00:29:22,260 --> 00:29:23,071
GOD BLESS HIM, HE TRIED HIS

1063
00:29:23,071 --> 00:29:25,798
HARDEST.

1064
00:29:25,798 --> 00:29:27,766
OH, FUCK.

1065
00:29:27,766 --> 00:29:29,975
WHERE DO I FUCKING START?

1066
00:29:29,975 --> 00:29:31,286
OH, GOD.

1067
00:29:31,286 --> 00:29:32,771
LET'S START WITH LESLIE JORDAN.

1068
00:29:32,771 --> 00:29:33,599
IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU.

1069
00:29:33,599 --> 00:29:34,289
[chuckles]

1070
00:29:34,289 --> 00:29:35,325
THE HELPIS ONE OF MY MOST

1071
00:29:35,325 --> 00:29:37,051
FAVORITE MOVIES OF ALL TIME.

1072
00:29:37,051 --> 00:29:38,569
AND YOUR PERFORMANCE WAS QUITE

1073
00:29:38,569 --> 00:29:39,778
UNBELIEVABLE.

1074
00:29:39,778 --> 00:29:40,675
BECAUSE YOU PLAYED

1075
00:29:40,675 --> 00:29:43,540
A HETEROSEXUAL MALE.

1076
00:29:43,540 --> 00:29:45,507
YOU ARE FUCKING GAYER THAN THE

1077
00:29:45,507 --> 00:29:47,233
FIRE ISLAND PRODUCTION OF RENT.

1078
00:29:47,233 --> 00:29:50,685
[all laugh]

1079
00:29:50,685 --> 00:29:52,169
BUT ENOUGH WITH THAT OLD QUEEN.

1080
00:29:52,169 --> 00:29:53,274
LET'S TALK ABOUT THE OTHER OLD

1081
00:29:53,274 --> 00:29:54,240
QUEEN ON THE PANEL,

1082
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:55,794
MICHELLE VISAGE.

1083
00:29:55,794 --> 00:29:57,347
[all laugh]

1084
00:29:57,347 --> 00:29:58,589
LET ME JUST LOOK AT MY LITTLE

1085
00:29:58,589 --> 00:30:00,212
NOTES REALLY QUICK. FUCK.

1086
00:30:00,212 --> 00:30:02,421
GOD, I HAD TO WRITE LITTLE TO

1087
00:30:02,421 --> 00:30:03,594
FIT ALL THIS IN.

1088
00:30:03,594 --> 00:30:04,837
[laughter]

1089
00:30:04,837 --> 00:30:06,494
OH, FUCK.

1090
00:30:06,494 --> 00:30:08,116
MICHELLE'S FAVORITE MOVIE IN

1091
00:30:08,116 --> 00:30:09,531
THE WORLD IS SHOWGIRLS.

1092
00:30:09,531 --> 00:30:11,154
AND MUCH LIKE NOMI MALONE, SHE

1093
00:30:11,154 --> 00:30:12,224
RELIES ON THE TALENTS OF HER

1094
00:30:12,224 --> 00:30:12,983
BLACK FRIEND.

1095
00:30:12,983 --> 00:30:17,470
[all laugh]

1096
00:30:17,470 --> 00:30:19,679
RU, YOU ARE A FUCKING LEGEND.

1097
00:30:19,679 --> 00:30:20,819
AND I JUST HOPE THAT YOU'RE

1098
00:30:20,819 --> 00:30:22,165
HAVING THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE.

1099
00:30:22,165 --> 00:30:23,718
BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME

1100
00:30:23,718 --> 00:30:24,408
LEFT.

1101
00:30:24,408 --> 00:30:28,309
[all laugh]

1102
00:30:28,309 --> 00:30:29,275
GOOD NIGHT, YOU GUYS.

1103
00:30:29,275 --> 00:30:30,380
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING

1104
00:30:30,380 --> 00:30:31,036
OUT.

1105
00:30:31,036 --> 00:30:34,850
[cheers and applause]

1106
00:30:34,850 --> 00:30:35,868
>> COMING UP...

1107
00:30:35,868 --> 00:30:37,525
>> YOU WERE TRYING TOO HARD.

1108
00:30:37,525 --> 00:30:38,837
>> IT WAS BORING, IT WAS

1109
00:30:38,837 --> 00:30:40,942
HUMILIATING, AND UNCOMFORTABLE

1110
00:30:40,942 --> 00:30:42,012
TO WATCH.

1111
00:30:42,012 --> 00:30:44,843
>> WAH-WAH.

1112
00:30:44,843 --> 00:30:46,845
>> WAH-WAH.
>> [laughs]

1113
00:30:46,845 --> 00:30:49,088
>> [laughs]

1114
00:30:49,088 --> 00:30:51,159
>> [laughs]

1115
00:30:51,159 --> 00:30:53,990
>> LADIES, IT'S TIME FOR THE

1116
00:30:53,990 --> 00:30:55,370
JUDGES' CRITIQUES.

1117
00:30:55,370 --> 00:30:58,546
LET'S START WITH ALASKA.

1118
00:30:58,546 --> 00:30:59,443
>> HI.

1119
00:30:59,443 --> 00:31:01,445
>> COMEDY IS LIKE MUSIC.

1120
00:31:01,445 --> 00:31:03,102
IT'S SOMETHING YOU HEAR OR YOU

1121
00:31:03,102 --> 00:31:03,896
DON'T.

1122
00:31:03,896 --> 00:31:04,863
AND YOU DEFINITELY HEAR

1123
00:31:04,863 --> 00:31:05,587
THE MUSIC.

1124
00:31:05,587 --> 00:31:06,347
>> THANK YOU.

1125
00:31:06,347 --> 00:31:07,003
>> I THOUGHT YOU LOOKED

1126
00:31:07,003 --> 00:31:09,281
BEAUTIFUL TONIGHT IN YOUR L.B.D.

1127
00:31:09,281 --> 00:31:10,834
AND UP THERE AT THE PODIUM, YOU

1128
00:31:10,834 --> 00:31:13,733
WERE VERY FUNNY, BUT IT'S TOUGH

1129
00:31:13,733 --> 00:31:14,665
TO GO FIRST.

1130
00:31:14,665 --> 00:31:15,666
YOU REALLY SHOULD HAVE TAKEN IT

1131
00:31:15,666 --> 00:31:17,323
EVEN FURTHER.

1132
00:31:17,323 --> 00:31:19,843
>> MOVING ON TO IVY WINTERS.

1133
00:31:19,843 --> 00:31:20,948
>> HEY.

1134
00:31:20,948 --> 00:31:21,776
>> WE BOTH WORE GREEN.

1135
00:31:21,776 --> 00:31:22,432
>> I KNOW.

1136
00:31:22,432 --> 00:31:23,088
>> YEAH.

1137
00:31:23,088 --> 00:31:23,778
>> YOU WORE IT BEST.

1138
00:31:23,778 --> 00:31:24,434
>> [laughs]

1139
00:31:24,434 --> 00:31:25,504
>> TONIGHT--I LOVE YOU IN GREEN,

1140
00:31:25,504 --> 00:31:26,177
I LOVE THE RED HAIR.

1141
00:31:26,177 --> 00:31:27,437
NOT SURE ABOUT THE GLOVES.

1142
00:31:27,437 --> 00:31:29,853
>> I LOVE THE GLOVES.

1143
00:31:29,853 --> 00:31:30,923
>> I DON'T THINK YOU NEED THEM.

1144
00:31:30,923 --> 00:31:33,132
>> DURING THE ROAST, YOUR CARDS

1145
00:31:33,132 --> 00:31:34,962
WERE BIT OF A CRUTCH, AND YOU

1146
00:31:34,962 --> 00:31:36,135
KEPT LOOKING AT THEM.

1147
00:31:36,135 --> 00:31:38,137
>> AND YOU SEEMED SO UNSURE OF

1148
00:31:38,137 --> 00:31:38,966
YOURSELF.

1149
00:31:38,966 --> 00:31:41,416
YOU WERE SO NERVOUS.

1150
00:31:41,416 --> 00:31:43,902
>> NEXT UP, JINKX MONSOON.

1151
00:31:43,902 --> 00:31:46,076
>> YOU HAVE A CAREER IN OR OUT

1152
00:31:46,076 --> 00:31:47,595
OF DRAG IN COMEDY.

1153
00:31:47,595 --> 00:31:48,492
YOU KILLED.

1154
00:31:48,492 --> 00:31:49,804
>> THANK YOU.

1155
00:31:49,804 --> 00:31:52,013
>> JINKX, OH, JINKX.

1156
00:31:52,013 --> 00:31:53,532
LET'S START WITH THE RUNWAY

1157
00:31:53,532 --> 00:31:56,293
LOOK...

1158
00:31:56,293 --> 00:31:57,225
I LOVE IT!

1159
00:31:57,225 --> 00:31:58,226
>> [laughs]

1160
00:31:58,226 --> 00:31:59,572
>> RIGHT HAIR, RIGHT MAKEUP.

1161
00:31:59,572 --> 00:32:01,143
I AM SO FRIGGIN' PROUD OF YOU.

1162
00:32:01,143 --> 00:32:02,506
>> TO HEAR THAT FROM MICHELLE

1163
00:32:02,506 --> 00:32:04,923
VISAGE, OH, MY GOD, THAT WAS

1164
00:32:04,923 --> 00:32:06,700
WORTH ITS WEIGHT IN GOLD.

1165
00:32:06,700 --> 00:32:08,271
>> DETOX.

1166
00:32:08,271 --> 00:32:09,134
>> HI.

1167
00:32:09,134 --> 00:32:11,032
>> YOU WERE SO MEAN TO ME.

1168
00:32:11,032 --> 00:32:13,000
BUT THERE WAS A TWINKLE IN YOUR

1169
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:13,966
EYE.

1170
00:32:13,966 --> 00:32:15,795
YOUR TONGUE WAS FIRMLY PLANTED

1171
00:32:15,795 --> 00:32:17,004
IN YOUR CHEEK.

1172
00:32:17,004 --> 00:32:17,901
>> THE ONE THING I WASN'T FOND

1173
00:32:17,901 --> 00:32:19,834
OF WAS YOU RELYING TOO MUCH ON

1174
00:32:19,834 --> 00:32:20,939
THE WORD FUCK.

1175
00:32:20,939 --> 00:32:22,250
YOU CAN LET THE ROOM BREATHE.

1176
00:32:22,250 --> 00:32:23,113
IT'S OKAY.

1177
00:32:23,113 --> 00:32:24,114
IT WAS TOO MUCH.

1178
00:32:24,114 --> 00:32:26,824
>> ALYSSA EDWARDS.

1179
00:32:26,824 --> 00:32:28,739
>> YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A LITTLE

1180
00:32:28,739 --> 00:32:29,447
FUNNIER.

1181
00:32:29,447 --> 00:32:30,879
AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE TRYING

1182
00:32:30,879 --> 00:32:31,984
TOO HARD.

1183
00:32:31,984 --> 00:32:33,572
>> GOING INTO THE MIC AND

1184
00:32:33,572 --> 00:32:35,919
HOLDING ON, LIKE, FOR DEAR LIFE,

1185
00:32:35,919 --> 00:32:37,265
I THOUGHT THAT WAS NERVES.

1186
00:32:37,265 --> 00:32:38,818
BUT YOU'RE SO GORGEOUS.

1187
00:32:38,818 --> 00:32:39,647
>> THANK YOU.

1188
00:32:39,647 --> 00:32:40,648
>> IT WASN'T YOUR BEST MOMENT

1189
00:32:40,648 --> 00:32:41,614
TONIGHT.

1190
00:32:41,614 --> 00:32:42,961
IT WAS BORING, IT WAS

1191
00:32:42,961 --> 00:32:45,135
HUMILIATING, AND UNCOMFORTABLE

1192
00:32:45,135 --> 00:32:46,723
TO WATCH.

1193
00:32:46,723 --> 00:32:48,380
>> COCO MONTRESE.

1194
00:32:48,380 --> 00:32:49,795
>> NOT A ROAST, BUT A TOAST.

1195
00:32:49,795 --> 00:32:50,451
MAZEL TOV.

1196
00:32:50,451 --> 00:32:51,107
IT WAS REALLY SPECTACULAR.

1197
00:32:51,107 --> 00:32:51,797
>> THANK YOU.

1198
00:32:51,797 --> 00:32:52,453
>> WELL DONE.

1199
00:32:52,453 --> 00:32:54,834
>> WANDA SYKES, MOVE OVER.

1200
00:32:54,834 --> 00:32:55,766
[all laugh]

1201
00:32:55,766 --> 00:32:57,251
IT WAS HILARIOUS.

1202
00:32:57,251 --> 00:32:58,873
>> TONIGHT ON THE RUNWAY, I LIKE

1203
00:32:58,873 --> 00:32:59,529
YOUR LOOK.

1204
00:32:59,529 --> 00:33:00,771
I'M THINKING THE EARRINGS AND

1205
00:33:00,771 --> 00:33:02,808
YOUR ROOTS SHOWING, IT ADDED TO

1206
00:33:02,808 --> 00:33:03,982
THE HUMOR.

1207
00:33:03,982 --> 00:33:05,673
>> ROXXXY ANDREWS.

1208
00:33:05,673 --> 00:33:07,709
>> KEEP YOUR PACE UP.

1209
00:33:07,709 --> 00:33:09,159
YOU NEEDED TO BE QUICKER.

1210
00:33:09,159 --> 00:33:10,885
>> IT WASN'T AS SMOOTH.

1211
00:33:10,885 --> 00:33:12,266
YOU COULD HAVE STRUNG IT

1212
00:33:12,266 --> 00:33:13,612
TOGETHER BETTER SO THAT IT WAS

1213
00:33:13,612 --> 00:33:14,993
MUCH MORE FLUID.

1214
00:33:14,993 --> 00:33:16,511
>> TONIGHT YOUR DRESS IS

1215
00:33:16,511 --> 00:33:18,168
HIGH-END, AND YOU REALLY NEEDED

1216
00:33:18,168 --> 00:33:21,240
SOME BIGGER HAIR TO GO WITH IT.

1217
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:22,310
>> WELL, LADIES, I THINK WE'VE

1218
00:33:22,310 --> 00:33:23,208
HEARD ENOUGH.

1219
00:33:23,208 --> 00:33:24,830
WHILE YOU ENJOY AN ABSOLUT

1220
00:33:24,830 --> 00:33:26,521
COCKTAIL IN THE INTERIOR

1221
00:33:26,521 --> 00:33:28,213
ILLUSIONS LOUNGE, THE JUDGES AND

1222
00:33:28,213 --> 00:33:31,112
I WILL DELIBERATE.

1223
00:33:31,112 --> 00:33:33,770
JUST BETWEEN US ROASTED

1224
00:33:33,770 --> 00:33:35,737
CHICKENS, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

1225
00:33:35,737 --> 00:33:38,671
LET'S START WITH ALASKA.

1226
00:33:38,671 --> 00:33:39,845
>> HER LOOK IS SO PREDICTABLE

1227
00:33:39,845 --> 00:33:40,501
NOW.

1228
00:33:40,501 --> 00:33:41,226
>> SO YOU WANNA SEE A DIFFERENT

1229
00:33:41,226 --> 00:33:41,916
SILHOUETTE.

1230
00:33:41,916 --> 00:33:43,090
>> JUST ONCE AT LEAST.

1231
00:33:43,090 --> 00:33:44,643
>> BEING FIRST MEANS YOU HAVE A

1232
00:33:44,643 --> 00:33:45,989
LITTLE MORE EXPECTATION TO STEP

1233
00:33:45,989 --> 00:33:47,025
OUT OF THE BOX.

1234
00:33:47,025 --> 00:33:47,853
BUT A LOT OF THE THINGS, IT'S

1235
00:33:47,853 --> 00:33:49,268
LIKE, I SORT OF EXPECTED THEM.

1236
00:33:49,268 --> 00:33:50,614
>> I JUST LOVED HER.

1237
00:33:50,614 --> 00:33:51,650
SHE JUST, LIKE, THE KIND OF

1238
00:33:51,650 --> 00:33:53,997
KNOCK-KNEED, AND STANDING BACK

1239
00:33:53,997 --> 00:33:55,757
THERE AND QUIRKY AND--

1240
00:33:55,757 --> 00:33:56,862
[exaggerated laugh]

1241
00:33:56,862 --> 00:33:58,484
IT WAS REFRESHING TO ME.

1242
00:33:58,484 --> 00:34:00,348
>> MOVING ON TO ROXXXY ANDREWS.

1243
00:34:00,348 --> 00:34:01,591
>> ROXXXY SEES HERSELF AS NOT

1244
00:34:01,591 --> 00:34:03,317
FUNNY, AND I THINK SHE WAS TOO

1245
00:34:03,317 --> 00:34:04,007
MUCH IN HER HEAD, TRYING TO

1246
00:34:04,007 --> 00:34:05,215
THINK HOW SHE CAN DELIVER IT.

1247
00:34:05,215 --> 00:34:06,665
>> AND SHE SEEMED TO BE OUT OF

1248
00:34:06,665 --> 00:34:07,528
CHARACTER.

1249
00:34:07,528 --> 00:34:08,184
>> I'D AGREE.

1250
00:34:08,184 --> 00:34:10,324
ROXXXY WAS STUMBLING FROM ONE

1251
00:34:10,324 --> 00:34:11,566
TRANSITION TO THE NEXT.

1252
00:34:11,566 --> 00:34:12,429
IT WASN'T HER NIGHT.

1253
00:34:12,429 --> 00:34:13,913
>> SHE WAS REALLY, REALLY,

1254
00:34:13,913 --> 00:34:15,260
REALLY NERVOUS.

1255
00:34:15,260 --> 00:34:16,571
AND I THINK SHE WAS JUST A

1256
00:34:16,571 --> 00:34:18,056
MELTDOWN, AND IT'S HARD TO WATCH

1257
00:34:18,056 --> 00:34:18,953
THAT.

1258
00:34:18,953 --> 00:34:19,919
>> ALL RIGHT.

1259
00:34:19,919 --> 00:34:21,887
>> IVY WINTERS.

1260
00:34:21,887 --> 00:34:23,061
>> SHE READ HER CARDS

1261
00:34:23,061 --> 00:34:23,854
THE WHOLE TIME.

1262
00:34:23,854 --> 00:34:25,235
SHE DIDN'T CONNECT ONCE.

1263
00:34:25,235 --> 00:34:26,512
I DIDN'T SEE HER EYES.

1264
00:34:26,512 --> 00:34:27,651
I GOT NO EMOTION FROM HER.

1265
00:34:27,651 --> 00:34:28,790
AND THAT'S BEEN MY PROBLEM WITH

1266
00:34:28,790 --> 00:34:29,515
IVY.

1267
00:34:29,515 --> 00:34:31,069
SHE'S LIKE A CARDBOARD CUTOUT.

1268
00:34:31,069 --> 00:34:32,139
>> I DIDN'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH

1269
00:34:32,139 --> 00:34:33,726
IVY IN THAT WAY, MICHELLE.

1270
00:34:33,726 --> 00:34:35,314
SHE WASN'T AS ROUGH AS SOME OF

1271
00:34:35,314 --> 00:34:36,591
THE OTHER GIRLS WITH SEGUEING

1272
00:34:36,591 --> 00:34:37,937
FROM ONE JOKE TO THE NEXT,

1273
00:34:37,937 --> 00:34:39,491
AND THERE WAS SOME REALLY FUNNY

1274
00:34:39,491 --> 00:34:40,457
MOMENTS.

1275
00:34:40,457 --> 00:34:42,045
>> COCO MONTRESE.

1276
00:34:42,045 --> 00:34:43,357
>> GREAT CONCEPT,

1277
00:34:43,357 --> 00:34:44,427
GREAT DELIVERY.

1278
00:34:44,427 --> 00:34:45,566
VERY GOOD TONIGHT FOR COCO.

1279
00:34:45,566 --> 00:34:46,739
ESPECIALLY COMING FROM WHERE SHE

1280
00:34:46,739 --> 00:34:47,602
WAS LAST WEEK.

1281
00:34:47,602 --> 00:34:48,500
>> COCO CAME OUT HERE TONIGHT

1282
00:34:48,500 --> 00:34:49,639
WITH A NEW ATTITUDE.

1283
00:34:49,639 --> 00:34:51,917
SHE HAD CONSISTENT JOKE AFTER

1284
00:34:51,917 --> 00:34:52,745
JOKE.

1285
00:34:52,745 --> 00:34:53,953
>> I ALMOST FELL OFF THE CHAIR.

1286
00:34:53,953 --> 00:34:55,265
THE WHOLE TIME SHE WAS UP THERE,

1287
00:34:55,265 --> 00:34:57,129
SHE STAYED IN THAT CHARACTER.

1288
00:34:57,129 --> 00:34:57,957
I DIED.

1289
00:34:57,957 --> 00:34:59,614
>> JINKX MONSOON.

1290
00:34:59,614 --> 00:35:01,478
>> HALLELU.

1291
00:35:01,478 --> 00:35:02,997
SHE LOOKED GREAT.

1292
00:35:02,997 --> 00:35:05,172
I WAS SO VERY PROUD OF HER.

1293
00:35:05,172 --> 00:35:06,621
>> I WOULD HAVE LOVED HER TO

1294
00:35:06,621 --> 00:35:07,933
HAVE PLAYED MORE WITH THE OTHER

1295
00:35:07,933 --> 00:35:08,589
QUEENS.

1296
00:35:08,589 --> 00:35:09,521
READING THEM A LITTLE MORE.

1297
00:35:09,521 --> 00:35:10,177
YES.

1298
00:35:10,177 --> 00:35:11,592
>> I HAVE TO WORDS: MASTER

1299
00:35:11,592 --> 00:35:13,007
COMEDIENNE.

1300
00:35:13,007 --> 00:35:15,354
>> ALL RIGHT, NEXT UP DETOX.

1301
00:35:15,354 --> 00:35:16,562
>> WE ALL KNOW SHE'S FUNNY.

1302
00:35:16,562 --> 00:35:17,908
SHE COULD HAVE DONE MORE AND GOT

1303
00:35:17,908 --> 00:35:19,151
RID OF SOME OF THE F-BOMBS.

1304
00:35:19,151 --> 00:35:20,739
>> YOU KNOW, THE F-BOMB USUALLY

1305
00:35:20,739 --> 00:35:22,154
MEANS THAT SOMEONE'S VERY

1306
00:35:22,154 --> 00:35:23,017
NERVOUS.

1307
00:35:23,017 --> 00:35:23,949
>> YOU CAN LAUGH, BUT IT'S LIKE,

1308
00:35:23,949 --> 00:35:25,399
OH, AND ANOTHER F-BOMB, OH, AND

1309
00:35:25,399 --> 00:35:26,124
ANOTHER F-BOMB.

1310
00:35:26,124 --> 00:35:27,470
AND IT'S NO LONGER FUNNY OR

1311
00:35:27,470 --> 00:35:28,229
BOMBASTIC.

1312
00:35:28,229 --> 00:35:29,506
>> I EXPECTED MORE FROM HER.

1313
00:35:29,506 --> 00:35:32,060
>> ALYSSA EDWARDS.

1314
00:35:32,060 --> 00:35:33,269
>> THE DRESS WAS A DISASTER

1315
00:35:33,269 --> 00:35:34,028
TONIGHT.

1316
00:35:34,028 --> 00:35:35,650
I GOT PROM FEELING FROM IT.

1317
00:35:35,650 --> 00:35:37,790
AND THEN THE ROAST--

1318
00:35:37,790 --> 00:35:39,137
WAH-WAH.

1319
00:35:39,137 --> 00:35:40,414
INTIMIDATION.

1320
00:35:40,414 --> 00:35:41,656
>> YEAH, THAT WAS IT.

1321
00:35:41,656 --> 00:35:42,347
>> WAS SHE INTIMIDATED BY

1322
00:35:42,347 --> 00:35:43,037
THE OTHER GIRLS?

1323
00:35:43,037 --> 00:35:43,693
>> ABSOLUTELY.

1324
00:35:43,693 --> 00:35:44,349
>> YEAH.

1325
00:35:44,349 --> 00:35:45,108
>> SO MANY FUNNY GIRLS UP THERE

1326
00:35:45,108 --> 00:35:45,764
TONIGHT.

1327
00:35:45,764 --> 00:35:46,454
>> THEY WERE--THEY WERE FUNNY,

1328
00:35:46,454 --> 00:35:48,042
AND I THINK SHE JUST--SHE

1329
00:35:48,042 --> 00:35:48,801
MELTED.

1330
00:35:48,801 --> 00:35:51,252
BUT I THINK SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.

1331
00:35:51,252 --> 00:35:52,115
>> [laughs]

1332
00:35:52,115 --> 00:35:53,461
>> SHE LOOKS LIKE A FAIRY

1333
00:35:53,461 --> 00:35:54,290
PRINCESS.

1334
00:35:54,290 --> 00:35:56,326
[all laugh]

1335
00:35:56,326 --> 00:35:57,707
>> SILENCE.

1336
00:35:57,707 --> 00:35:59,433
I'VE MADE MY DECISION.

1337
00:35:59,433 --> 00:36:01,883
BRING BACK...

1338
00:36:01,883 --> 00:36:03,247
MY GIRLS.

1339
00:36:03,247 --> 00:36:08,200
>> [laughs]

1340
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:10,219
>> [laughs]

1341
00:36:10,219 --> 00:36:12,308
>> WELCOME BACK, LADIES.

1342
00:36:12,308 --> 00:36:14,551
I'VE MADE SOME DECISIONS.

1343
00:36:14,551 --> 00:36:18,728
ALASKA, TONIGHT YOU PROVED YOU

1344
00:36:18,728 --> 00:36:22,007
CAN STAND ON YOUR OWN.

1345
00:36:22,007 --> 00:36:22,973
YOU'RE SAFE.

1346
00:36:22,973 --> 00:36:24,078
>> THANK YOU.

1347
00:36:24,078 --> 00:36:26,045
[blows kiss]

1348
00:36:26,045 --> 00:36:28,255
>> JINKX MONSOON, YOUR LOOK

1349
00:36:28,255 --> 00:36:31,258
TONIGHT WAS NO JOKE.

1350
00:36:31,258 --> 00:36:32,983
KEEP IT UP.

1351
00:36:32,983 --> 00:36:34,192
YOU'RE SAFE.

1352
00:36:34,192 --> 00:36:36,435
YOU'RE SAFE.
>> THANK YOU.

1353
00:36:36,435 --> 00:36:39,197
>> THANK YOU.

1354
00:36:39,197 --> 00:36:41,268
>> COCO MONTRESE.

1355
00:36:41,268 --> 00:36:44,995
AS MY HOOD RAT COUSIN, YOU TORE

1356
00:36:44,995 --> 00:36:47,619
ME TO SHREDS.

1357
00:36:47,619 --> 00:36:48,999
YOU ARE THE WINNER OF THIS

1358
00:36:48,999 --> 00:36:49,966
WEEK'S CHALLENGE.

1359
00:36:49,966 --> 00:36:50,967
CONDRAGULATIONS.

1360
00:36:50,967 --> 00:36:51,899
[applause]

1361
00:36:51,899 --> 00:36:54,419
YOU'VE WON A CUSTOM GOWN FROM

1362
00:36:54,419 --> 00:36:56,334
SEQUINQUEEN.

1363
00:36:56,334 --> 00:36:57,836
>> COCO MONTRESE IS BACK.

1364
00:36:57,836 --> 00:37:01,650
YES, GOD, I'M BACK, BABY.

1365
00:37:01,650 --> 00:37:04,049
>> DETOX...

1366
00:37:04,049 --> 00:37:06,914
YOU'RE SAFE.

1367
00:37:06,914 --> 00:37:10,089
ALYSSA EDWARDS, TONIGHT YOUR

1368
00:37:10,089 --> 00:37:13,231
PUNCH LINES FLATLINED.

1369
00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:14,473
I'M SORRY, MY DEAR, BUT YOU ARE

1370
00:37:14,473 --> 00:37:18,822
UP FOR ELIMINATION.

1371
00:37:18,822 --> 00:37:22,412
IVY WINTERS, YOU STRUGGLED TO

1372
00:37:22,412 --> 00:37:24,932
CONNECT WITH THE AUDIENCE.

1373
00:37:24,932 --> 00:37:27,693
ROXXXY ANDREWS, TONIGHT WAS NOT

1374
00:37:27,693 --> 00:37:30,455
YOUR SHINING MOMENT.

1375
00:37:30,455 --> 00:37:33,665
IVY WINTERS...

1376
00:37:33,665 --> 00:37:36,426
YOU'RE SAFE.

1377
00:37:36,426 --> 00:37:38,394
ROXXXY ANDREWS, I'M SORRY,

1378
00:37:38,394 --> 00:37:39,257
MY DEAR, BUT YOU ARE UP FOR

1379
00:37:39,257 --> 00:37:42,484
ELIMINATION.

1380
00:37:42,484 --> 00:37:43,744
>> ALL OF THIS STRESS HAS JUST

1381
00:37:43,744 --> 00:37:44,469
HIT ME.

1382
00:37:44,469 --> 00:37:46,022
THIS IS HONESTLY THE FIRST

1383
00:37:46,022 --> 00:37:47,575
TIME IN THIS COMPETITION THAT I

1384
00:37:47,575 --> 00:37:49,974
FELT "YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH."

1385
00:37:49,974 --> 00:37:51,821
>> TWO QUEENS STAND BEFORE ME.

1386
00:37:51,821 --> 00:37:54,479
LADIES, THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE

1387
00:37:54,479 --> 00:37:57,033
TO IMPRESS ME AND SAVE YOURSELF

1388
00:37:57,033 --> 00:38:00,588
FROM ELIMINATION.

1389
00:38:00,588 --> 00:38:02,625
THE TIME HAS COME FOR YOU TO

1390
00:38:02,625 --> 00:38:06,663
THE TIME HAS COME FOR YOU TO
LIP-SYNCH FOR YOUR LIFE.

1391
00:38:06,663 --> 00:38:09,235
LIP-SYNCH FOR YOUR LIFE.

1392
00:38:09,235 --> 00:38:11,737
>> GET READY FOR THE LIP SYNC

1393
00:38:11,737 --> 00:38:13,532
OF YOUR LIFE.

1394
00:38:13,532 --> 00:38:15,776
>> GOOD LUCK.

1395
00:38:15,776 --> 00:38:18,019
AND DON'T FUCK IT UP.

1396
00:38:18,019 --> 00:38:19,020
>> ♪ HOP UP OUT THE BED

1397
00:38:19,020 --> 00:38:20,194
♪ TURN MY SWAG ON

1398
00:38:20,194 --> 00:38:21,022
♪ PAY NO ATTENTION

1399
00:38:21,022 --> 00:38:21,764
♪ TO THEM HATERS

1400
00:38:21,764 --> 00:38:23,301
♪ BECAUSE WE WHIP 'EM OFF

1401
00:38:23,301 --> 00:38:24,163
♪ AND WE AIN'T DOING

1402
00:38:24,163 --> 00:38:25,130
♪ NOTHING WRONG

1403
00:38:25,130 --> 00:38:26,338
♪ SO DON'T TELL ME NOTHING

1404
00:38:26,338 --> 00:38:27,857
♪ I'M JUST TRYING TO HAVE FUN

1405
00:38:27,857 --> 00:38:29,030
>> [laughs]

1406
00:38:29,030 --> 00:38:29,893
>> ♪ SO KEEP THE PARTY JUMPING

1407
00:38:29,893 --> 00:38:30,618
♪ SO WHAT'S UP

1408
00:38:30,618 --> 00:38:32,033
♪ YEAH

1409
00:38:32,033 --> 00:38:32,965
♪ AND NOW THEY DON'T KNOW

1410
00:38:32,965 --> 00:38:33,656
♪ WHAT TO DO

1411
00:38:33,656 --> 00:38:34,312
♪ WE TURN OUR BACK

1412
00:38:34,312 --> 00:38:35,071
♪ AND WHIP OUR HAIR

1413
00:38:35,071 --> 00:38:36,141
♪ AND JUST SHAKE 'EM OFF

1414
00:38:36,141 --> 00:38:37,038
>> THERE'S NO HOLDING BACK.

1415
00:38:37,038 --> 00:38:38,419
THERE'S NO TIP-TOEING AROUND.

1416
00:38:38,419 --> 00:38:40,041
I HAVE TO BRING EVERYTHING.

1417
00:38:40,041 --> 00:38:40,904
>> ♪ I WHIP MY HAIR

1418
00:38:40,904 --> 00:38:41,560
♪ BACK AND FORTH

1419
00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:42,285
♪ I WHIP MY HAIR

1420
00:38:42,285 --> 00:38:43,010
♪ BACK AND FORTH

1421
00:38:43,010 --> 00:38:43,735
♪ I WHIP MY HAIR

1422
00:38:43,735 --> 00:38:44,460
♪ BACK AND FORTH

1423
00:38:44,460 --> 00:38:45,219
♪ I WHIP MY HAIR

1424
00:38:45,219 --> 00:38:45,944
♪ BACK AND FORTH

1425
00:38:45,944 --> 00:38:46,669
♪ I WHIP MY HAIR

1426
00:38:46,669 --> 00:38:47,359
♪ BACK AND FORTH

1427
00:38:47,359 --> 00:38:48,653
>> OH!

1428
00:38:48,653 --> 00:38:50,638
>> I GOT A SEIZURE WATCHING

1429
00:38:50,638 --> 00:38:51,484
THAT.

1430
00:38:51,484 --> 00:38:52,675
>> ♪ ALL MY LADIES

1431
00:38:52,675 --> 00:38:53,434
♪ IF YOU FEEL ME

1432
00:38:53,434 --> 00:38:54,401
♪ COME ON DO IT DO IT

1433
00:38:54,401 --> 00:38:55,781
♪ WHIP YOUR HAIR

1434
00:38:55,781 --> 00:38:56,955
♪ YOUR HAIR

1435
00:38:56,955 --> 00:38:57,887
♪ YOUR HAIR

1436
00:38:57,887 --> 00:38:58,543
♪ I WHIP MY HAIR

1437
00:38:58,543 --> 00:38:59,233
♪ BACK AND FORTH

1438
00:38:59,233 --> 00:39:00,027
♪ I WHIP MY HAIR

1439
00:39:00,027 --> 00:39:00,855
♪ BACK AND FORTH

1440
00:39:00,855 --> 00:39:01,580
♪ I WHIP MY HAIR

1441
00:39:01,580 --> 00:39:02,270
♪ BACK AND FORTH

1442
00:39:02,270 --> 00:39:03,099
♪ I WHIP MY HAIR

1443
00:39:03,099 --> 00:39:03,789
♪ BACK AND FORTH

1444
00:39:03,789 --> 00:39:04,549
♪ I WHIP MY HAIR

1445
00:39:04,549 --> 00:39:05,308
♪ BACK AND FORTH

1446
00:39:05,308 --> 00:39:05,981
♪ I WHIP MY HAIR

1447
00:39:05,981 --> 00:39:09,295
>> ALYSSA IS BRINGING IT.

1448
00:39:09,295 --> 00:39:12,350
>> [laughs]

1449
00:39:12,350 --> 00:39:13,316
>> ♪ I WHIP MY HAIR

1450
00:39:13,316 --> 00:39:13,972
♪ BACK AND FORTH

1451
00:39:13,972 --> 00:39:14,835
♪ I WHIP MY HAIR

1452
00:39:14,835 --> 00:39:15,491
♪ BACK AND FORTH

1453
00:39:15,491 --> 00:39:16,423
♪ I WHIP MY HAIR

1454
00:39:16,423 --> 00:39:17,113
♪ BACK AND FORTH

1455
00:39:17,113 --> 00:39:17,769
♪ I WHIP MY HAIR

1456
00:39:17,769 --> 00:39:18,425
♪ BACK AND FORTH

1457
00:39:18,425 --> 00:39:20,530
>> IT'S GONNA BE A PHOTO FINISH

1458
00:39:20,530 --> 00:39:21,359
TONIGHT.

1459
00:39:21,359 --> 00:39:22,325
>> ♪ I WHIP MY HAIR

1460
00:39:22,325 --> 00:39:23,119
♪ BACK AND FORTH

1461
00:39:23,119 --> 00:39:24,189
♪ I WHIP MY--

1462
00:39:24,189 --> 00:39:29,539
[cheers and applause]

1463
00:39:29,539 --> 00:39:30,506
>> MAN.

1464
00:39:30,506 --> 00:39:32,266
>> ALL RIGHT, LADIES.

1465
00:39:32,266 --> 00:39:37,444
>> ALL RIGHT, LADIES.
>> [crying]

1466
00:39:37,444 --> 00:39:41,344
>> [crying]

1467
00:39:41,344 --> 00:39:44,140
SORRY.

1468
00:39:44,140 --> 00:39:45,383
>> ARE YOU OKAY?

1469
00:39:45,383 --> 00:39:49,801
>> SO MANY EMOTIONS.

1470
00:39:49,801 --> 00:39:51,768
>> WHAT'S GOING ON?

1471
00:39:51,768 --> 00:39:52,597
>> NOTHING.

1472
00:39:52,597 --> 00:39:53,460
GO AHEAD.

1473
00:39:53,460 --> 00:39:54,668
>> NO. TELL ME ABOUT IT.

1474
00:39:54,668 --> 00:39:58,050
>> IT JUST HIT ME AND...LIKE NOT

1475
00:39:58,050 --> 00:39:59,397
FEELING WANTED AND NOT BEING

1476
00:39:59,397 --> 00:40:01,502
GOOD ENOUGH.

1477
00:40:01,502 --> 00:40:03,297
I JUST FEEL LIKE MY MOM NEVER

1478
00:40:03,297 --> 00:40:07,543
WANTED ME AND--

1479
00:40:07,543 --> 00:40:09,372
MY MOTHER LEFT MY SISTER AND

1480
00:40:09,372 --> 00:40:11,132
MYSELF AT A BUS STOP WHEN I WAS

1481
00:40:11,132 --> 00:40:12,410
THREE.

1482
00:40:12,410 --> 00:40:13,480
AND I REMEMBER IT LIKE IT WAS

1483
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:14,239
YESTERDAY.

1484
00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:15,723
AND, LIKE, I COME OFF AS THIS

1485
00:40:15,723 --> 00:40:17,345
STRONG CHARACTER.

1486
00:40:17,345 --> 00:40:19,417
I TRY TO STAY SO STRONG, BUT I'M

1487
00:40:19,417 --> 00:40:21,280
SO WEAK, AND I'M SO TIRED.

1488
00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:24,767
SO WEAK, AND I'M SO TIRED.
[sobbing]

1489
00:40:24,767 --> 00:40:32,464
[sobbing]

1490
00:40:32,464 --> 00:40:34,742
IT JUST HURTS THAT I WAS LEFT.

1491
00:40:34,742 --> 00:40:37,780
IT JUST HURTS THAT I WAS LEFT.
NOBODY CARED.

1492
00:40:37,780 --> 00:40:40,783
NOBODY CARED.

1493
00:40:40,783 --> 00:40:44,580
>> WE LOVE YOU.

1494
00:40:44,580 --> 00:40:46,685
AND YOU ARE SO WELCOME HERE.

1495
00:40:46,685 --> 00:40:49,895
YOU KNOW, WE AS GAY PEOPLE, WE

1496
00:40:49,895 --> 00:40:50,965
GET TO CHOOSE OUR FAMILY.

1497
00:40:50,965 --> 00:40:52,173
YOU KNOW, WE GET TO CHOOSE THE

1498
00:40:52,173 --> 00:40:54,106
PEOPLE THAT WE'RE AROUND.

1499
00:40:54,106 --> 00:40:56,730
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

1500
00:40:56,730 --> 00:40:58,870
I AM YOUR FAMILY.

1501
00:40:58,870 --> 00:41:02,701
WE ARE A FAMILY HERE.

1502
00:41:02,701 --> 00:41:04,462
I LOVE YOU.

1503
00:41:04,462 --> 00:41:07,879
I LOVE YOU.
>> I LOVE YOU.

1504
00:41:07,879 --> 00:41:10,468
>> I LOVE YOU.

1505
00:41:10,468 --> 00:41:13,436
>> ALL RIGHT.

1506
00:41:13,436 --> 00:41:17,129
>> ALL RIGHT.
I'VE MADE MY DECISION.

1507
00:41:17,129 --> 00:41:19,235
I'VE MADE MY DECISION.

1508
00:41:19,235 --> 00:41:22,928
WHAT YOU TWO DID ON THIS RUNWAY

1509
00:41:22,928 --> 00:41:27,381
WHAT YOU TWO DID ON THIS RUNWAY
IS THE PASSION I AM LOOKING FOR.

1510
00:41:27,381 --> 00:41:28,382
IS THE PASSION I AM LOOKING FOR.

1511
00:41:28,382 --> 00:41:30,349
SHANTE. YOU BOTH STAY.

1512
00:41:30,349 --> 00:41:31,627
>> [laughs]

1513
00:41:31,627 --> 00:41:34,198
>> [cries]

1514
00:41:34,198 --> 00:41:36,563
>> [cries]

1515
00:41:36,563 --> 00:41:38,565
>> [laughs]

1516
00:41:38,565 --> 00:41:42,258
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.

1517
00:41:42,258 --> 00:41:44,087
>> THESE ARE NO LONGER JUST DRAG

1518
00:41:44,087 --> 00:41:45,779
QUEENS I AM COMPETING WITH.

1519
00:41:45,779 --> 00:41:47,332
I'M GROWING ATTACHED TO THESE

1520
00:41:47,332 --> 00:41:48,264
PEOPLE.

1521
00:41:48,264 --> 00:41:49,645
WE ARE LIKE THE SEVEN SISTERS

1522
00:41:49,645 --> 00:41:51,750
RIGHT NOW.

1523
00:41:51,750 --> 00:41:54,615
>> MY SEVEN SISTER QUEENS.

1524
00:41:54,615 --> 00:41:56,410
IF YOU CAN'T LOVE YOURSELF,

1525
00:41:56,410 --> 00:41:57,825
HOW IN THE HELL ARE YOU GONNA

1526
00:41:57,825 --> 00:41:59,171
LOVE SOMEBODY ELSE?

1527
00:41:59,171 --> 00:42:00,759
CAN I GET A AMEN IN HERE?

1528
00:42:00,759 --> 00:42:04,280
CAN I GET A AMEN IN HERE?
>> all: AMEN!