1 00:00:05,190 --> 00:00:07,099 PREVIOUSLY ON THE WEST WING: 2 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:11,140 I MADE A DEAL WITH ABBEY 'CAUSE OF MY THING. ONE TERM. 3 00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:13,039 THE ENERGY SECRETARY'S GONNA RESPOND 4 00:00:13,060 --> 00:00:15,050 AND I'D LIKE TO MENTION IT TO HOYNES. 5 00:00:15,070 --> 00:00:17,100 SHOULDN'T HAVE BILL DO IT. WHO'D YOU SEND? 6 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:18,160 TO PUNCH BACK? YEAH. 7 00:00:18,179 --> 00:00:19,179 ME. 8 00:00:19,199 --> 00:00:21,059 YOU KNOW, I WAS CURIOUS ABOUT 9 00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:23,059 WHY YOU'D VOLUNTEER FOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 10 00:00:23,079 --> 00:00:26,059 MR. VICE PRESIDENT, WHAT DO YOU KNOW THAT I DON'T? 11 00:00:26,079 --> 00:00:29,050 TOBY, THE TOTAL TONNAGE OF WHAT I KNOW THAT YOU DON'T 12 00:00:29,070 --> 00:00:31,000 COULD STUN A TEAM OF OXEN 13 00:00:31,019 --> 00:00:32,179 IN ITS TRACKS. 14 00:00:36,130 --> 00:00:41,000 Man ( on TV ): That's an incredible one in 500 Americans 15 00:00:41,020 --> 00:00:46,020 afflicted with this disease, which leads me to part two 16 00:00:46,039 --> 00:00:48,039 of our question. 17 00:00:48,060 --> 00:00:50,060 Senator, how is it that, despite the prevalence 18 00:00:50,079 --> 00:00:55,229 of this disorder, autism has received less than 15%... 19 00:00:56,009 --> 00:00:57,070 ( paper crumpling ) 20 00:00:57,090 --> 00:00:58,210 Woman ( on TV ): ...would gradually cut 21 00:00:58,229 --> 00:01:00,210 one percentage point off each individual tax rate 22 00:01:00,229 --> 00:01:04,109 as well as significantly reduce the so-called marriage penalty 23 00:01:04,129 --> 00:01:05,189 it also would reduce 24 00:01:05,209 --> 00:01:08,069 the capital gains tax rate for an individual 25 00:01:08,090 --> 00:01:10,189 and eventually eliminate the inheritance tax. 26 00:01:10,210 --> 00:01:13,159 and republicans say their work is not necessarily in vain... 27 00:01:17,129 --> 00:01:20,159 ( dramatic music ) 28 00:01:43,180 --> 00:01:45,000 LEO? HEY. 29 00:01:45,020 --> 00:01:47,049 I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE STILL HERE. YEAH. 30 00:01:47,069 --> 00:01:49,129 WHAT'S GOING ON? I'VE BEEN THINKING... 31 00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:52,079 ABOUT WHY HOYNES VOLUNTEERED TO SLAP DOWN BIG OIL. 32 00:01:52,099 --> 00:01:54,000 IT WAS HIS POLLING INFORMATION. 33 00:01:54,020 --> 00:01:57,200 YEAH, BUT WHY DID HE PUT THE POLL IN THE FIELD AT ALL. 34 00:01:57,219 --> 00:01:59,060 JOHN HOYNES IS AN EGOMANIAC 35 00:01:59,079 --> 00:02:02,010 WHO NEEDS TO BE TOLD WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF HIM. 36 00:02:02,030 --> 00:02:04,079 WELL, THAT'S PRETTY UNUSUAL FOR WASHINGTON. 37 00:02:04,099 --> 00:02:05,170 YEAH. 38 00:02:05,189 --> 00:02:08,139 LEO, HAS THERE BEEN A DISCUSSION 39 00:02:08,159 --> 00:02:12,020 IN SOME ROOM, SOMEPLACE, ANYWHERE, ON ANY LEVEL 40 00:02:12,039 --> 00:02:15,129 ABOUT HOYNES BEING DROPPED FROM THE TICKET IN 2002? 41 00:02:15,150 --> 00:02:17,069 NO. 42 00:02:17,090 --> 00:02:19,030 YOU SURE? YEAH. 43 00:02:19,050 --> 00:02:21,050 'CAUSE I THOUGHT MAYBE IT WAS AN EISENHOWER/NIXON... 44 00:02:21,069 --> 00:02:25,069 NO. TOBY, I WOULDN'T GIVE IT A LOT OF THOUGHT. 45 00:02:25,090 --> 00:02:26,229 OKAY. 46 00:02:29,110 --> 00:02:31,090 ( ball bouncing ) 47 00:02:33,069 --> 00:02:36,090 ( dramatic music ) 48 00:02:47,159 --> 00:02:49,060 ( motor whirring ) 49 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:05,159 HEY. 50 00:03:05,180 --> 00:03:09,090 SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME. THE POLL THAT HOYNES PUT IN THE FIELD... 51 00:03:09,110 --> 00:03:11,139 HE'S GONNA RUN FOR PRESIDENT WHY SHOULDN'T HE? 52 00:03:11,159 --> 00:03:13,229 HE'S GONNA RUN FOR PRESIDENT SIX YEARS FROM NOW. 53 00:03:14,009 --> 00:03:15,139 WHAT GOOD DOES LAST WEEK'S DO? 54 00:03:15,159 --> 00:03:17,180 I REALLY DON'T KNOW. 55 00:03:20,229 --> 00:03:22,110 OKAY. 56 00:03:25,009 --> 00:03:26,159 Toby: IT'S NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE, RIGHT? 57 00:03:26,180 --> 00:03:28,060 Leo: NO. 58 00:03:28,079 --> 00:03:30,170 A VICE PRESIDENT WOULD NEVER CHALLENGE A SITTING PRESIDENT 59 00:03:30,189 --> 00:03:32,060 FOR THE NOMINATION. OF COURSE NOT. 60 00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,069 YOU SEE HIS ITINERARY FOR THE WEEKEND? WHO? 61 00:03:34,090 --> 00:03:36,139 THE VICE PRESIDENT. I DON'T KEEP TABS ON JOHN. 62 00:03:36,159 --> 00:03:38,180 HE'S GIVING A SPEECH AT A SEMICONDUCTOR PLANT. 63 00:03:38,199 --> 00:03:40,039 THE TITLE OF THE SPEECH IS 64 00:03:40,060 --> 00:03:42,069 "CLEAN AIR INDUSTRY IN THE HIGH TECH CORRIDOR 65 00:03:42,090 --> 00:03:44,000 OF THE INDUSTRIAL NORTHEAST." 66 00:03:46,170 --> 00:03:47,229 WHERE? 67 00:03:48,009 --> 00:03:50,110 NASHUA... NEW HAMPSHIRE. 68 00:03:55,150 --> 00:03:57,000 TOBY, NOBODY-- 69 00:03:57,020 --> 00:03:59,110 AND PARTICULARLY NOT HOYNES-- WOULD BE NAIVE ENOU... 70 00:03:59,129 --> 00:04:01,189 WHAT I MEAN, IF HE'S GOING TO NEW HAMPSHIRE 71 00:04:01,210 --> 00:04:03,020 FOR THE REASON YOU'RE THINKING 72 00:04:03,039 --> 00:04:04,150 HE WOULD MASK IT WITH SOMETHING. 73 00:04:04,169 --> 00:04:06,219 IT WOULDN'T BE AN OFFICIAL TRIP. 74 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,219 HE'D MAKE UP A BENIGN EXCUSE TO BE UP THERE. 75 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,060 I KNOW. 76 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:13,069 SO, WHY ARE YOU CONCERNED ABOUT THE SPEECH? 77 00:04:13,090 --> 00:04:18,009 BECAUSE IT COMES IN THE MIDDLE OF A CAMPING TRIP TO KILLINGTON. 78 00:04:22,089 --> 00:04:23,220 WHY DOES HOYNES THINK THE PRESIDENT 79 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,209 ISN'T GONNA RUN AGAIN? 80 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,120 ( ball bouncing ) 81 00:04:33,149 --> 00:04:35,110 WHAT'S GOING ON, LEO? 82 00:04:42,170 --> 00:04:45,180 ( theme music ) 83 00:05:12,180 --> 00:05:15,199 ( music continues ) 84 00:05:29,180 --> 00:05:32,029 ( dramatic music ) 85 00:05:36,079 --> 00:05:38,000 ( knocking ) 86 00:05:40,110 --> 00:05:42,040 EXCUSE ME, MR. PRESIDENT. 87 00:05:42,060 --> 00:05:45,009 I CLOSED THE EMBASSIES IN TANZANIA AND BRUSSELS. 88 00:05:45,029 --> 00:05:46,090 WHAT ABOUT DOMESTIC? 89 00:05:46,110 --> 00:05:48,090 I DON'T HAVE TO MAKE THAT CALL YET. 90 00:05:48,110 --> 00:05:50,170 HOW MUCH TIME DO YOU HAVE? ABOUT AN HOUR. 91 00:05:50,189 --> 00:05:52,019 MR. PRESIDENT, I'VE GOT TOBY 92 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:53,220 WAITING IN HIS OFFICE RIGHT NOW. 93 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,060 WHY? 94 00:05:55,079 --> 00:05:56,180 WE'VE GOT TO TELL HIM. 95 00:05:56,199 --> 00:05:58,149 TELL HIM WHAT? 96 00:06:01,170 --> 00:06:03,180 WE'VE GOT TO TELL HIM. 97 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,189 WHAT HAPPENED? HE GOT CURIOUS 98 00:06:07,209 --> 00:06:11,029 WHEN HOYNES VOLUNTEERED TO STEP IN FOR BILL TROTTER 99 00:06:11,050 --> 00:06:13,050 AND THEN MORE CURIOUS WHEN HE FOUND OUT 100 00:06:13,069 --> 00:06:15,100 IT WAS 'CAUSE HOYNES PUT A POLL. YEAH. 101 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,079 NOW HE'S CAMPING IN KILLINGTON, VERMONT 102 00:06:17,100 --> 00:06:19,189 WITH A QUICK STOP IN NEW HAMPSHIRE... COME ON. 103 00:06:19,209 --> 00:06:21,050 ...AND TOBY'S NOT AN IDIOT. 104 00:06:21,069 --> 00:06:22,100 HE... 105 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,009 NONE OF THEM ARE. 106 00:06:24,029 --> 00:06:26,009 HE SCHEDULED A TRIP TO NEW HAMPSHIRE? 107 00:06:26,029 --> 00:06:27,160 HIGH TECH CORRIDOR OF THE NORTHEAST. 108 00:06:27,180 --> 00:06:28,199 YEAH, THANKS TO WHO? 109 00:06:28,220 --> 00:06:31,139 WHAT DOES THAT MATTER RIGHT NOW? 110 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:37,069 I THINK YOU'VE GOT TO SEE THIS AS AN OPPORTUNITY. 111 00:06:37,090 --> 00:06:39,060 TO DO WHAT? TO GAUGE REACTION. 112 00:06:39,079 --> 00:06:42,029 IS TOBY'S REACTION IS GONNA BE THE SAME AS THE PUBLIC'S? 113 00:06:42,050 --> 00:06:45,009 I MEANT THE STAFF. WHICH WILL BE? 114 00:06:45,029 --> 00:06:46,050 I'M SORRY, SIR? 115 00:06:46,069 --> 00:06:47,209 THE STAFF'S REACTION WILL BE WHAT? 116 00:06:47,230 --> 00:06:49,110 I DON'T KNOW. 117 00:06:49,129 --> 00:06:52,159 SHOCK, BETRAYAL, CONFUSION... 118 00:06:54,009 --> 00:06:55,209 CONCERN ABOUT OUR FUTURE. 119 00:06:57,100 --> 00:06:59,000 I DON'T KNOW. 120 00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:01,000 WHAT DO I TELL HIM? 121 00:07:01,019 --> 00:07:02,089 EVERYTHING. 122 00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:07,050 GO GET HIM. 123 00:07:07,069 --> 00:07:08,199 YES, SIR. 124 00:07:12,060 --> 00:07:13,129 ( sighs ) 125 00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:20,149 NOW IT STARTS. 126 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:26,019 ( heavy sigh ) HMM. 127 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:28,100 YES. WELL... 128 00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:30,040 YOU KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS? YES. 129 00:07:30,060 --> 00:07:32,019 IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY. AND YET...? 130 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:33,050 IT'S NOT. NO. 131 00:07:33,069 --> 00:07:34,159 WHO WORKED ON THIS? 132 00:07:34,180 --> 00:07:38,090 JAY BREECH, JANET LIPPMAN, ANDY KYLE WORKED ON IT A LITTLE. 133 00:07:38,110 --> 00:07:40,170 YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DID? YEAH. 134 00:07:40,189 --> 00:07:43,090 THEY FORGOT TO BRING THE FUNNY. YEAH. 135 00:07:43,110 --> 00:07:44,209 HOW MUCH TIME DO WE HAVE? 136 00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:47,199 I WANT TO SHOW IT TO HIM WITHIN THE HOUR. 137 00:07:50,050 --> 00:07:51,159 TOBY. YEAH? 138 00:07:51,180 --> 00:07:53,170 WE'RE GONNA STAY AND PUNCH UP SOME JOKES 139 00:07:53,189 --> 00:07:55,209 FOR THE CORRESPONDENTS' DINNER. YEAH, I READ IT. 140 00:07:55,230 --> 00:07:57,209 THEY FORGOT THE FUNNY. YOU WANT TO STAY? 141 00:07:57,230 --> 00:08:00,060 WHERE YOU GONNA BE? WE'LL FIND A PLACE. 142 00:08:00,079 --> 00:08:01,199 I'LL HOOK UP WITH YOU LATER. 143 00:08:01,220 --> 00:08:03,149 WHAT'S GOING ON? NOTHING. 144 00:08:03,170 --> 00:08:04,230 YEAH. 145 00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:07,000 HELLO. 146 00:08:07,019 --> 00:08:09,019 HOW YOU DOING? I'M DOING FINE. 147 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:11,019 DID YOU GET THE FLOWERS? YES, I DID. 148 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:12,199 DID YOU LIKE THEM? THEY WERE PRETTY. 149 00:08:12,220 --> 00:08:15,170 DO YOU KNOW WHY? I KNOW WHY YOU THINK YOU DID. 150 00:08:15,189 --> 00:08:17,149 IT'S OUR ANNIVERSARY. NO, IT'S NOT. 151 00:08:17,170 --> 00:08:19,079 I'M THE SORT OF GUY WHO REMEMBERS. 152 00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:21,170 YOU'RE THE GUY WHO SENDS FLOWERS TO BE MEAN. 153 00:08:21,189 --> 00:08:23,189 ONLY YOU CAN DO THAT. I'M QUITE SOMETHING. 154 00:08:23,209 --> 00:08:25,180 YES. I SENT THEM TO MARK AN OCCASION. 155 00:08:25,199 --> 00:08:28,209 ARE WE GONNA DO THIS EVERY YEAR? I'M A MAN OF OCCASION. 156 00:08:28,230 --> 00:08:31,160 I STARTED WORKING IN FEBRUARY. IT'S APRIL, AND YOU'RE AN IDIOT. 157 00:08:31,180 --> 00:08:34,049 YOU STARTED WORKING ONCE IN FEBRUARY THEN STOPPED. YES. 158 00:08:34,070 --> 00:08:37,110 THEN YOU STARTED IN APRIL. THAT'S THE ONE I CHOOSE TO CELEBRATE 159 00:08:37,129 --> 00:08:40,129 'CAUSE THAT'S WHEN YOU STARTED WORKING FOR ME AND IT WASN'T FOLLOWED 160 00:08:40,149 --> 00:08:43,120 BY YOUR NOT WORKING BUT RATHER GOING BACK TO YOUR BOYFRIEND. 161 00:08:43,139 --> 00:08:47,149 AND HOW, IN COMPARISON TO THAT AND HIM YOU CAN CALL ME "MEAN" 162 00:08:47,169 --> 00:08:49,120 IS SIMPLY ANOTHER IN A LONG SERIES-- 163 00:08:49,139 --> 00:08:51,110 OH, SHUT UP! DO YOU EVER GET TIRED 164 00:08:51,129 --> 00:08:56,019 OF THE SOUND OF YOUR OWN VOICE? NO! NO, NO, NO. 165 00:08:56,039 --> 00:08:57,120 WELL, WHERE ARE YOU GOING NOW? 166 00:08:57,139 --> 00:09:00,169 SAM AND I ARE GONNA PUNCH UP THE THING FOR TOMORROW. 167 00:09:00,190 --> 00:09:02,029 HEY, WE NEED FUNNY PEOPLE. 168 00:09:02,049 --> 00:09:03,110 YEAH? YOU KNOW ANY? 169 00:09:03,129 --> 00:09:04,220 SEE, RIGHT THERE WAS A JOKE. 170 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,059 IT'S THE OLDEST JOKE IN THE BOOK. I'LL SAY. 171 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,179 ADO ANNIE? I SENT YOU FLOWERS. 172 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,190 I THINK WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY IS 173 00:09:10,210 --> 00:09:12,090 "WHY, THANK YOU, JOSH, THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL. 174 00:09:12,110 --> 00:09:13,169 "HOW VERY THOUGHTFUL OF YOU. 175 00:09:13,190 --> 00:09:15,139 NOT MANY BOSSES WOULD'VE BEEN THAT THOUGHTFUL." 176 00:09:15,159 --> 00:09:19,029 REALLY? I WAS TRYING TO SAY WAS, "SHOVE IT." THEN I GUESSED WRONG. 177 00:09:19,049 --> 00:09:21,019 YOU WANT HELP WITH THAT? YES, I DO. 178 00:09:21,039 --> 00:09:23,230 BECAUSE YOU ARE SUCH AN HYSTERICALLY FUNNY PERSON. 179 00:09:24,009 --> 00:09:26,080 DID YOU NOTICE HOW I USED "AN" THERE PROPERLY? 180 00:09:26,100 --> 00:09:28,039 YES, I DID. YOU CRACK ME UP. 181 00:09:28,059 --> 00:09:29,190 YOU KNOW, THERE ARE TIMES... YEAH? 182 00:09:29,210 --> 00:09:32,200 WHEN, TO PUT IT QUITE SIMPLY, I HATE YOUR BREATHING GUTS. 183 00:09:32,220 --> 00:09:35,009 SO, THE FLOWERS REALLY DID THE TRICK, HUH? 184 00:09:35,029 --> 00:09:36,049 OH, YEAH. 185 00:09:36,070 --> 00:09:38,149 Sam ( shouting ): AINSLEY? 186 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:43,190 AINSLEY. 187 00:09:46,230 --> 00:09:48,059 AINSLEY? HELLO, SAM. 188 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:50,090 DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME SHOUTING? YES, I DID. 189 00:09:50,110 --> 00:09:51,120 AND? I IGNORED IT. 190 00:09:51,139 --> 00:09:52,230 BECAUSE? YOU WERE SHOUTING. 191 00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:55,149 YOU'RE ADORABLE. YET ILL-ADORED. 192 00:09:55,169 --> 00:09:58,039 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I'M GOING TO SMITH COLLEGE. 193 00:09:58,059 --> 00:09:59,179 WHY? IT'S MY ALMA MATER. 194 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:02,009 REUNION? NO. WOMAN'S STUDIES DEPARTMENT'S 195 00:10:02,029 --> 00:10:04,110 HAVING A PANEL ON RESURRECTING THE ERA. 196 00:10:04,129 --> 00:10:07,039 WHO ELSE IS ON THE PANEL? REBECCA WALKER, GLORIA STEINEM 197 00:10:07,059 --> 00:10:09,039 ANN COULTER, NAOMI WOLF... 198 00:10:09,059 --> 00:10:11,059 YOU KNOW, SOMETHING LIKE 40% OF ALL WOMEN 199 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:13,080 OPPOSED THE ERA. AND IN MY ENTIRE LIFE 200 00:10:13,100 --> 00:10:15,009 I'VE NEVER MET ONE OF THEM. 201 00:10:15,029 --> 00:10:17,059 AINSLEY HAYES. NICE TO MEET YOU. 202 00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:18,190 YOU'RE NOT. YES. 203 00:10:19,210 --> 00:10:21,200 YOU'RE NOT! YES. 204 00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:25,039 YOU'RE NOT, YOU'RE NOT, YOU'RE NOT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE! 205 00:10:25,059 --> 00:10:26,090 IF BY "THOSE PEOPLE" 206 00:10:26,110 --> 00:10:28,009 YOU'RE REFERRING TO EPISCOPALIANS... 207 00:10:28,029 --> 00:10:30,149 YOU'RE GOING BACK TO SMITH COLLEGE, THE CRADLE OF FEMINISM 208 00:10:30,169 --> 00:10:33,009 TO ARGUE IN OPPOSITION OF THE EQUAL RIGHTS AMENDMENT? 209 00:10:33,029 --> 00:10:34,129 AND GET SOME DECENT PIZZA. 210 00:10:34,149 --> 00:10:35,220 THEY'RE GONNA HATE YOU. 211 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,179 I'M A STRAIGHT REPUBLICAN FROM NORTH CAROLINA. 212 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,169 YOU DON'T THINK THEY HATED ME THEN? 213 00:10:39,190 --> 00:10:41,210 YEAH. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 214 00:10:41,230 --> 00:10:44,019 I WANT TO PUNCH UP SOME OF THE JOKES. 215 00:10:44,039 --> 00:10:47,179 AND I'M LOOKING FOR PEOPLE, WHO ARE FUNNY, BUT I CAN'T FIND ANY 216 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:51,049 SO I CAME TO YOU. I'D THINK WITH YOUR INFECTIOUS SENSE OF HUMOR 217 00:10:51,070 --> 00:10:53,190 YOU WOULD HAVE NO TROUBLE. YOU WANNA HELP OR NOT? 218 00:10:53,210 --> 00:10:56,139 I NEED TO DO THIS. WE'VE ORDERED CHINESE FOOD. 219 00:10:56,159 --> 00:10:57,190 OKAY. 220 00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:01,139 Jay Leno ( on TV ): ...AND AUSTRALIA ANNOUNCED TODAY 221 00:11:01,159 --> 00:11:03,100 THEY'RE HOLDING THE 18TH ANNUAL NUDE OLYMPICS. 222 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,230 THE NUDE OLYMPICS IN AUSTRALIA, HUH? 223 00:11:05,009 --> 00:11:08,110 YOU THOUGHT IT WAS EXCITING TO WIN A RACE BY A NOSE. 224 00:11:08,129 --> 00:11:11,039 ( laughter and applause ) 225 00:11:15,179 --> 00:11:19,000 DID YOU SEE THE DRAFT FOR THE CORRESPONDENTS' DINNER? 226 00:11:19,019 --> 00:11:20,110 YEAH. 227 00:11:20,129 --> 00:11:22,190 IT'S NOT FUNNY. 228 00:11:22,210 --> 00:11:25,000 SAM'S GOING TO WORK ON IT. 229 00:11:36,210 --> 00:11:39,179 TOBY, TAKE IT EASY IN THERE, OKAY? 230 00:11:44,110 --> 00:11:46,009 YOU CAN GO IN. 231 00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:50,159 GOOD EVENING, MR. PRESIDENT. HEY, YOU WANT A DRINK? 232 00:11:50,179 --> 00:11:52,059 NO, THANK YOU, SIR. I'M FINE. 233 00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:54,129 HAVE A DRINK WITH ME. SURE. 234 00:11:54,149 --> 00:11:55,230 BOURBON, NO ICE? 235 00:11:56,009 --> 00:11:57,100 THANK YOU. 236 00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:59,029 YOU KNOW WHAT I FOUND OUT RECENTLY? 237 00:11:59,049 --> 00:12:01,179 TO BE CALLED "BOURBON" IT HAS TO COME FROM KENTUCKY. 238 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,169 OTHERWISE, IT'S CALLED "SOUR MASH." 239 00:12:03,190 --> 00:12:05,070 AN ALGERIAN-BORN TERRORIST 240 00:12:05,090 --> 00:12:09,009 NAMED REDA NESSAM WAS ARRESTED AT THE CANADIAN BORDER YESTERDAY 241 00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:10,090 WITH A U-HAUL CONTAINING 242 00:12:10,110 --> 00:12:13,009 TEN TWO-OUNCE JARS FILLED WITH NITROGLYCERIN. 243 00:12:13,029 --> 00:12:15,190 AND THEY DON'T ALLOW THAT KIND OF THING AT YOSEMITE? 244 00:12:15,210 --> 00:12:16,230 NO. ANYWAY 245 00:12:17,009 --> 00:12:19,179 ON ADVICE FROM STATE AND INTELLIGENCE 246 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:22,190 I CLOSED THE EMBASSIES IN TANZANIA AND BRUSSELS. 247 00:12:22,210 --> 00:12:24,029 WHAT ABOUT THE FAA? 248 00:12:24,049 --> 00:12:26,049 THEY WANT ME TO ORDER THE AIRPORTS 249 00:12:26,070 --> 00:12:28,210 TO HEIGHTEN SECURITY, BUT IT'S A HOLIDAY WEEKEND. 250 00:12:28,230 --> 00:12:31,019 I DON'T KNOW. I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. 251 00:12:31,039 --> 00:12:34,029 DOES THE FAA HAVE TO PRESENT EVIDENCE OF A CREDIBLE THREAT? 252 00:12:34,049 --> 00:12:36,019 YEAH. HOW DO THEY DO THAT? 253 00:12:36,039 --> 00:12:38,080 I DON'T KNOW. THEY DO IT. IS THERE A...? 254 00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:41,039 SIR, IS THERE A TIME FRAME? ABOUT AN HOUR. 255 00:12:41,059 --> 00:12:44,070 TOBY, AROUND TEN YEARS AGO, FOR A PERIOD OF A FEW MONTHS 256 00:12:44,090 --> 00:12:47,179 I WAS FEELING RUN DOWN, AND I HAD A PAIN IN MY LEG. 257 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,029 THEY BOTH EVENTUALLY SUBSIDED 258 00:12:49,049 --> 00:12:52,029 BUT THEN, EIGHT YEARS AGO THE PAIN CAME BACK 259 00:12:52,049 --> 00:12:54,129 AS WELL AS NUMBNESS. 260 00:12:54,149 --> 00:12:58,029 MY VISION WOULD BE BLURRY SOMETIMES, AND I'D GET DIZZY. 261 00:12:58,049 --> 00:12:59,100 DURING AN EYE EXAM 262 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:02,200 THE DOCTOR DETECTED ABNORMAL PUPIL RESPONSES 263 00:13:02,220 --> 00:13:04,159 AND ORDERED AN MRI. 264 00:13:04,179 --> 00:13:08,220 THE RADIOLOGIST FOUND PLAQUES ON MY BRAIN AND SPINE. 265 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:12,080 I HAVE A RELAPSING/REMITTING COURSE OF MS. 266 00:13:14,029 --> 00:13:17,049 ( dramatic music ) 267 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:21,120 I'M SORRY, SIR. 268 00:13:25,029 --> 00:13:27,190 I HAVE MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS, TOBY. 269 00:13:29,029 --> 00:13:30,110 ( Toby clears throat ) 270 00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:39,070 ( dramatic music ) 271 00:13:42,129 --> 00:13:45,019 ( dramatic music ) 272 00:13:55,009 --> 00:13:56,059 ( clears throat ) 273 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:58,120 WHAT DOES RELAPSING/ REMITTING MEAN? 274 00:13:58,139 --> 00:14:00,009 I'M SORRY? WHAT DOES 275 00:14:00,029 --> 00:14:01,070 RELAPSING/REMITTING MEAN? 276 00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:02,120 IT'S... 277 00:14:02,139 --> 00:14:03,120 I DON'T KNOW... 278 00:14:03,139 --> 00:14:05,059 IT'S THE GOOD KIND OF MS. 279 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:06,190 IT'S THE GOOD KIND. 280 00:14:06,210 --> 00:14:08,210 YEAH. AS OPPOSED TO SECONDARY PROGRESSIVE. 281 00:14:08,230 --> 00:14:10,120 WHICH IS THE BAD KIND. YEAH. 282 00:14:10,139 --> 00:14:14,059 MS IS A CHRONIC DISEASE OF THE CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM. 283 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:16,059 SYMPTOMS CAN BE AS MILD AS NUMBNESS 284 00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:17,220 OR AS SEVERE AS PARALYSIS. 285 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,169 AND LOSS OF VISION. 286 00:14:23,009 --> 00:14:24,190 YEAH. AND COGNITIVE FUNCTION. 287 00:14:24,210 --> 00:14:26,129 YUP. 288 00:14:26,149 --> 00:14:28,009 Toby: IS IT... 289 00:14:28,029 --> 00:14:29,110 I'M SORRY. IS IT FATAL? 290 00:14:29,129 --> 00:14:31,120 NO. THAT'S THE GOOD NEWS. 291 00:14:31,139 --> 00:14:33,129 THE BAD NEWS IS THERE'S NO CURE. 292 00:14:33,149 --> 00:14:35,039 YEAH, THAT I KNEW. 293 00:14:38,039 --> 00:14:39,200 DOES RELAPSING/REMITTING... 294 00:14:39,220 --> 00:14:41,159 President: EVER TURN INTO SECONDARY PROGRESSIVE? 295 00:14:41,179 --> 00:14:44,019 YEAH. SURE. 296 00:14:44,039 --> 00:14:47,000 IS THERE ANY WAY OF TELLING IF IT'S GOING TO? 297 00:14:47,019 --> 00:14:48,110 NO. 298 00:14:54,230 --> 00:14:56,139 OKAY. 299 00:14:59,009 --> 00:15:00,159 I'D LIKE TO STAND UP. 300 00:15:00,179 --> 00:15:02,029 CAN I STAND? 301 00:15:02,049 --> 00:15:03,159 YEAH. 302 00:15:04,190 --> 00:15:06,139 ( knocking ) 303 00:15:11,090 --> 00:15:16,090 I'M SORRY, SIR, UH... 304 00:15:16,110 --> 00:15:18,149 I NEED TO... 305 00:15:18,169 --> 00:15:20,080 CAN I, UH... 306 00:15:20,100 --> 00:15:21,200 EXCUSE ME. 307 00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:30,120 Charlie: MR. PRESIDENT? YEAH. 308 00:15:30,139 --> 00:15:33,000 YOU WANTED THE CALL FROM MR. GARRETH AT THE FAA. 309 00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:35,120 CHARLIE, COULD YOU PUT IT THROUGH TO MY OFFICE? 310 00:15:35,139 --> 00:15:37,039 YES, SIR. 311 00:15:38,159 --> 00:15:40,179 GO TAKE IT IN MY OFFICE. 312 00:15:50,190 --> 00:15:51,200 Josh: SEE? YEAH. 313 00:15:51,220 --> 00:15:53,039 LARRY? YEAH. 314 00:15:53,059 --> 00:15:55,080 SEE THE PROBLEM? THEY DIDN'T BRING THE FUNNY. 315 00:15:55,100 --> 00:15:56,200 NO. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 316 00:15:56,220 --> 00:15:59,049 I'M JOTTING DOWN SOME GO-TO'S IF JOKE DOESN'T WORK. 317 00:15:59,070 --> 00:16:01,029 "I HAVEN'T SEEN AN AUDIENCE THIS DEAD"-- 318 00:16:01,049 --> 00:16:02,169 THE PRESIDENT'S GOING TO GET HECKLED? 319 00:16:02,190 --> 00:16:04,049 NO, BUT I'VE READ THE SPEECH 320 00:16:04,070 --> 00:16:06,100 IT'S WISE TO HAVE SOME DEAD AUDIENCE METAPHORS. 321 00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:08,049 OKAY, HERE WE GO. 322 00:16:08,070 --> 00:16:10,149 "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I AM VERY HAPPY TO BE HERE 323 00:16:10,169 --> 00:16:14,029 "AND I WANT TO THANK THE WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENT' ASSOCIATION FOR INVITING ME. 324 00:16:14,049 --> 00:16:15,210 "I EXPECT I'LL BE STUCK HERE TONIGHT 325 00:16:15,230 --> 00:16:17,149 "WITH MY FAIR SHARE OF VERBAL HARPOONS. 326 00:16:17,169 --> 00:16:22,029 "I DON'T MIND. JUST DON'T STICK ME WITH THE DINNER CHECK." 327 00:16:22,049 --> 00:16:24,190 WOW. AND THEN IT SAYS HERE "ALLOW FOR LAUGHTER." 328 00:16:24,210 --> 00:16:26,210 UNLESS WE GIVE THAT INSTRUCTION TO THE AUDIENCE 329 00:16:26,230 --> 00:16:28,200 I DON'T THINK IT'S GONNA BE A PROBLEM. 330 00:16:28,220 --> 00:16:31,179 "I DON'T MIND, JUST DON'T STICK ME WITH THE DINNER CHECK"? 331 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:32,210 LIKE HE'S PLAYING GROSSINGERS. 332 00:16:32,230 --> 00:16:34,149 "I KNOW SOME OF YOU ARE TROUBLED 333 00:16:34,169 --> 00:16:36,090 "BY MY FREQUENT USE OF LATIN REFERENCES. 334 00:16:36,110 --> 00:16:38,169 WELL, ALL I CAN SAY IS, NO TE PREOCUPAS." 335 00:16:38,190 --> 00:16:40,210 THE JOKE'S IN SPANISH. IT'S THAT KIND OF LATIN. 336 00:16:40,230 --> 00:16:44,019 THAT'S WHERE YOU'LL WANT DEAD AUDIENCE JOKE. WE'RE NOT GONNA NEED ONE. 337 00:16:44,039 --> 00:16:47,139 WHO GAVE YOU THOSE FLOWERS? I DID. THOSE ARE FROM ME. 338 00:16:47,159 --> 00:16:48,210 WHAT'S THE OCCASION? NOTHING. 339 00:16:48,230 --> 00:16:50,159 OUR ANNIVERSARY. OUR NOT ANNIVERSARY. 340 00:16:50,179 --> 00:16:53,059 DONNA DOESN'T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT. I REALLY DON'T. 341 00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:55,139 OKAY. A FEW YEARS AGO, DONNA'S BOYFRIEND BROKE UP 342 00:16:55,159 --> 00:16:57,139 WITH HER, SO SHE STARTED WORKING FOR JOSH. 343 00:16:57,159 --> 00:16:59,139 THEN THE BOYFRIEND TOLD HER TO COME BACK 344 00:16:59,159 --> 00:17:02,230 AND SHE DID AND THEN THEY BROKE UP, AND SHE'S BACK TO WORK. 345 00:17:03,009 --> 00:17:05,059 THOUGHT YOU MEANT YOU DIDN'T WANT TO TALK. 346 00:17:05,079 --> 00:17:07,140 I'M A SPOKESMAN. IT'S IN ME. THEY'RE NICE FLOWERS. 347 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:10,059 "AND I'D ALSO LIKE TO THANK OUR HOST BILL MAHER." 348 00:17:10,079 --> 00:17:11,210 NOT THEM. WHO ARE WE THEN? 349 00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:13,049 Men: REPUBLICANS. 350 00:17:13,069 --> 00:17:14,220 Sam: I WISH THE SPEAKER WERE HERE 351 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,220 TONIGHT, BUT HE'S HELD UP IN NEGOTIATIONS ON THE HILL. 352 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,190 HE'S DEMANDING HIS LATEST PRE-NUP 353 00:17:19,210 --> 00:17:21,059 INCLUDE A LINE ITEM VETO? 354 00:17:21,079 --> 00:17:22,220 THERE IT IS. Sam: TWO GROUPS. 355 00:17:23,009 --> 00:17:24,109 YOU GUYS THERE. WE'LL STAY HERE. 356 00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:26,109 I WANNA BE IN THE OTHER GROUP. WHY? 357 00:17:26,130 --> 00:17:28,210 THE KUNG PAO CHICKEN. GET IT AND COME BACK. 358 00:17:28,230 --> 00:17:31,059 I WANT TO MAKE TOBY LAUGH. 359 00:17:48,079 --> 00:17:50,210 SO I FOUND OUT ABOUT A YEAR AGO. 360 00:17:52,170 --> 00:17:56,230 TWO NIGHTS BEFORE THE STATE OF THE UNION. 361 00:17:57,009 --> 00:17:58,170 HE HAD AN ATTACK. 362 00:18:00,049 --> 00:18:02,029 HE DID? 363 00:18:02,049 --> 00:18:06,180 WHEN HE PASSED OUT IN THE OVAL OFFICE. 364 00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:08,190 THAT WAS AN ATTACK? 365 00:18:10,119 --> 00:18:12,109 YEAH. 366 00:18:12,130 --> 00:18:15,109 I THOUGHT IT WAS THE FLU. 367 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,210 IT WASN'T. 368 00:18:28,180 --> 00:18:30,180 HOW IS IT POSS... 369 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:33,200 HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THIS WAS KEPT A SECRET? 370 00:18:33,220 --> 00:18:36,039 FIRST OF ALL, WHO ELSE KNOWS? 371 00:18:36,059 --> 00:18:38,089 YOU'RE THE 16TH PERSON. 372 00:18:38,109 --> 00:18:40,119 WHO ELSE? I'LL TELL YOU SOME OF THEM. 373 00:18:40,140 --> 00:18:42,089 I WON'T TELL YOU ALL OF THEM. 374 00:18:42,109 --> 00:18:44,039 WHY NOT? 375 00:18:44,059 --> 00:18:47,009 'CAUSE IT'S NOT ENTIRELY MY BUSINESS. 376 00:18:47,029 --> 00:18:48,200 I'M NOT SURE OF MY FOOTING HERE. 377 00:18:48,220 --> 00:18:50,160 THE PRESIDENT WILL BE OFF THE PHONE 378 00:18:50,180 --> 00:18:52,089 YOU'LL TAKE WHAT I GIVE YOU. 379 00:18:52,109 --> 00:18:54,089 IT'S NOT ENTIRELY YOUR BUSINESS? 380 00:18:55,190 --> 00:18:57,170 THE FIRST LADY. 381 00:18:57,190 --> 00:19:00,000 THE DOCTOR, RADIOLOGIST 382 00:19:00,019 --> 00:19:02,079 THE SPECIALIST, THE KIDS... WHO ELSE? 383 00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:04,049 THAT'S IT FOR NOW. HE TOOK A PHYSICAL. 384 00:19:04,069 --> 00:19:07,009 THOSE DOCTORS WERE FROM EIGHT YEARS AGO. HE TOOK A PHYSICAL. 385 00:19:07,029 --> 00:19:09,210 IT'S IN REMISSION. IT DOESN'T SHOW UP DURING A PHYSICAL... 386 00:19:09,230 --> 00:19:11,019 LEO... IT'S IN REMISSION. 387 00:19:11,039 --> 00:19:13,039 NOBODY LIED. NOBODY LIED? 388 00:19:13,059 --> 00:19:15,069 NOBODY. NOBODY LIED? 389 00:19:15,089 --> 00:19:18,059 IS THAT WHAT YOU'VE BEEN SAYING TO YOURSELF FOR A YEAR? 390 00:19:18,079 --> 00:19:20,140 LEO, A DECEPTION OF MASSIVE PROPORTION? 391 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:23,089 I CAN'T EVEN... HE GETS A PHYSICAL 392 00:19:23,109 --> 00:19:26,000 TWICE A YEAR AT BETHESDA. HIS DOCTORS ARE NAVAL OFFICERS. 393 00:19:26,019 --> 00:19:28,140 ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT OFFICERS ARE INVOLVED IN THIS? 394 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:32,049 THESE GUYS ARE GONNA BE COURT-MARTIALED. NOBODY... LISTEN TO ME. 395 00:19:32,069 --> 00:19:33,200 NOBODY LIED. 396 00:19:35,140 --> 00:19:37,210 NOBODY WAS ASKED TO LIE. 397 00:19:37,230 --> 00:19:39,200 COERCION. NOBODY WAS ASKED TO LIE. 398 00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:42,170 OFFICERS, THE FIRST LADY, SURGEONS 399 00:19:42,190 --> 00:19:45,059 SURGEON GENERALS, FOR ALL I KNOW. 400 00:19:45,079 --> 00:19:48,029 THE PLURAL OF SURGEON GENERAL ISN'T SURGEON GENERALS 401 00:19:48,049 --> 00:19:49,200 IT'S SURGEONS GENERAL. 402 00:19:49,220 --> 00:19:52,130 LIKE ATTORNEYS GENERAL, OR COURTS MARTIAL. 403 00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:56,180 NOBODY WAS ASKED TO LIE. 404 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:59,019 THAT WAS GARRETH FROM THE FAA. 405 00:19:59,039 --> 00:20:02,019 UPON INTERROGATING REDA NESSAM 406 00:20:02,039 --> 00:20:04,140 THEY BELIEVE IT'S POSSIBLE THAT ANOTHER RENTAL CAR 407 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:06,069 CROSSED THE BORDER YESTERDAY. 408 00:20:06,089 --> 00:20:09,099 THEY BELIEVE IT'S HEADED TO A SAFE HOUSE IN PATERSON, NEW JERSEY 409 00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:12,180 AND THE FBI THINKS THEY CAN APPREHEND HIM IN 24 HOURS. 410 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:15,069 OF COURSE, THE ONLY WAY ALL OF THIS WILL HAPPEN 411 00:20:15,089 --> 00:20:17,109 IS IF REDA NESSAM IS TELLING THE TRUTH. 412 00:20:17,130 --> 00:20:19,109 SO WHO WANTS ODDS? 413 00:20:19,130 --> 00:20:21,160 ANYWAY, THEY'RE STILL LOOKING AT FORENSIC EVIDENCE 414 00:20:21,180 --> 00:20:23,230 AND WE'RE GONNA TALK AGAIN IN A FEW MINUTES 415 00:20:24,009 --> 00:20:27,029 TO DECIDE IF THERE'S A CREDIBLE THREAT. 416 00:20:32,079 --> 00:20:34,109 I'M SORRY, SIR. I DIDN'T HEAR THAT. 417 00:20:34,130 --> 00:20:38,029 I SAID WE'RE GONNA DECIDE IF THERE'S A CREDIBLE THREAT. 418 00:20:38,049 --> 00:20:39,059 WHY? 419 00:20:39,079 --> 00:20:42,019 WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT? 420 00:20:46,089 --> 00:20:49,109 ( dramatic music ) 421 00:20:52,059 --> 00:20:54,000 Josh: HEY. HOW YOU DOING? 422 00:20:54,019 --> 00:20:58,079 YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH LONGER TOBY'S GONNA BE? I DON'T. 423 00:20:58,099 --> 00:21:01,049 LET ME ASK YOU, YOU THINK THIS JOKE'S FUNNY? 424 00:21:01,069 --> 00:21:02,160 I'M SORRY THE SPEAKER ISN'T HERE 425 00:21:02,180 --> 00:21:04,160 HE'S UP ON THE HILL IN LAST-MINUTE NEGOTIATIONS. 426 00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:08,119 HE'S GOING OVER HIS PRE-NUP AND HE WANTS A LINE ITEM VETO. 427 00:21:08,140 --> 00:21:10,099 WELL, I THINK IT'S PRETTY FUNNY, BUT... 428 00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:11,099 WHAT? 429 00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:13,039 I WOULDN'T DO IT. WHY? 430 00:21:13,059 --> 00:21:16,039 IT MIGHT CALL ATTENTION TO THE FIRST LADY NOT BEING THERE. 431 00:21:16,059 --> 00:21:17,160 WHERE'S MRS. BARTLET GONNA BE? 432 00:21:17,180 --> 00:21:19,130 SHE WENT BACK UP TO MANCHESTER. 433 00:21:19,150 --> 00:21:21,130 SHE'S NOT COMING TO THE CORRESPONDENTS' DINNER? 434 00:21:21,150 --> 00:21:23,210 PROBABLY NOT. 435 00:21:23,230 --> 00:21:26,089 CHARLIE, WHAT'S GOING ON? 436 00:21:29,019 --> 00:21:31,049 SORRY. 437 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,089 ALRIGHT. 438 00:21:34,109 --> 00:21:36,069 YOU DON'T KNOW WHEN TOBY'S OUT? 439 00:21:36,089 --> 00:21:37,220 NO. 440 00:21:40,130 --> 00:21:41,190 OKAY. 441 00:21:41,210 --> 00:21:43,160 ALRIGHT, HERE WE GO. 442 00:21:43,180 --> 00:21:46,190 "EQUALITY OF RIGHTS UNDER THE LAW 443 00:21:46,210 --> 00:21:49,059 "SHALL NOT BE DENIED OR ABRIDGED 444 00:21:49,079 --> 00:21:53,119 BY THE UNITED STATES OR ANY STATE ON ACCOUNT OF SEX." 445 00:21:53,140 --> 00:21:55,130 WHAT'S THE JOKE? IT'S NOT A JOKE. 446 00:21:55,150 --> 00:21:58,009 IT'S THE EQUAL RIGHTS AMENDMENT. WHEN DID THAT COME BACK? 447 00:21:58,029 --> 00:22:01,059 READ WHAT THESE GUYS HAVE. "SHALL NOT BE ABRIDGED OR DENIED 448 00:22:01,079 --> 00:22:03,069 ON THE ACCOUNT OF SEX." 449 00:22:03,089 --> 00:22:04,109 VERY DANGEROUS LANGUAGE. 450 00:22:04,130 --> 00:22:06,019 THIS MUST BE STOPPED. 451 00:22:06,039 --> 00:22:08,230 WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE YOUR PROBLEM WITH THE ERA? IT'S REDUNDANT. 452 00:22:09,009 --> 00:22:11,200 WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE ERA? SHE'S DOING A THING. 453 00:22:11,220 --> 00:22:13,130 YEAH, BUT IT'S NOT BACK OR ANYTHING? 454 00:22:13,150 --> 00:22:16,079 CERTAINLY NOT IF PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY OVER HERE HAS HER WAY. 455 00:22:16,099 --> 00:22:17,170 LOOK... IT'S REDUNDANT? 456 00:22:17,190 --> 00:22:19,059 I'M A LOW- MAINTENANCE LADY 457 00:22:19,079 --> 00:22:22,039 I GOT THE 14TH AMENDMENT, I'M FINE. HOW ABOUT... 458 00:22:22,059 --> 00:22:23,140 THE 14TH AMENDMENT, WHICH SAYS 459 00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:25,230 THAT A CITIZEN OF THE UNITED STATES IS ANYONE 460 00:22:26,009 --> 00:22:27,079 THAT'S BORN HERE, THAT'S ME 461 00:22:27,099 --> 00:22:29,160 AND THAT NO CITIZEN CAN BE DENIED DUE PROCESS. 462 00:22:29,180 --> 00:22:32,059 I'M COVERED. MAKE A LAW FOR SOMEBODY ELSE. 463 00:22:32,079 --> 00:22:34,000 HERE'S A JOKE BASED ON THE PREMISE 464 00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:36,059 THAT THE PARTY AFTERWARD IS HARD TO GET INTO 465 00:22:36,079 --> 00:22:38,190 AND THAT THE PRESIDENT IS THE COMMANDER IN CHIEF. 466 00:22:38,210 --> 00:22:40,009 I HEAR THE BLOOMBERG PARTY 467 00:22:40,029 --> 00:22:42,099 IS GONNA BE HARD TO GET INTO THIS YEAR 468 00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:43,160 BUT I'M NOT WORRIED. 469 00:22:43,180 --> 00:22:45,220 I'M GOING TO THE PARTY WITH THE 82ND AIRBORNE. 470 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,109 THEN THE PRESIDENT SAYS "WOW, I HAVEN'T HEARD A ROOM 471 00:22:48,130 --> 00:22:50,160 THIS QUIET SINCE WE LOST THE SIGNAL ON GALILEO." 472 00:22:50,180 --> 00:22:53,190 OR, "WOW, I HAVEN'T SEEN MY STAFF UPDATE THEIR RESUMES THIS QUICKLY 473 00:22:53,210 --> 00:22:56,130 SINCE THE LAST TIME I TANKED AT THE CORRESPONDENTS' DINNER!" 474 00:22:56,150 --> 00:22:57,200 JOSH... YEAH? 475 00:22:57,220 --> 00:23:00,069 WHEN YOU YELL, IT'S HARDER TO FIND IT FUNNY. 476 00:23:00,089 --> 00:23:01,160 WHO GAVE YOU THOSE FLOWERS? 477 00:23:01,180 --> 00:23:03,210 A MEAN MAN WHO CAN'T READ A CALENDAR. 478 00:23:03,230 --> 00:23:05,089 SAM. 479 00:23:08,180 --> 00:23:11,109 WE'RE DOING FINE. TOBY'S GONNA COME IN HERE AND NAIL IT. 480 00:23:11,130 --> 00:23:14,029 THIS IS HIS THING. YEAH, CUT THE SPEAKER JOKE, OKAY? 481 00:23:14,049 --> 00:23:15,230 MRS. BARTLET MIGHT NOT BE THERE. 482 00:23:16,009 --> 00:23:17,109 OKAY. 483 00:23:17,130 --> 00:23:20,049 ALRIGHT, SO WE'RE GONNA BE FINE HERE. 484 00:23:20,069 --> 00:23:21,099 YEAH, WE'RE DOING GREAT. 485 00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:22,190 WE'RE DOING GREAT, EVERYBODY, RIGHT? 486 00:23:22,210 --> 00:23:24,089 SAM, WE'VE GOT ONE HERE 487 00:23:24,109 --> 00:23:27,140 BUT IT INVOLVES A JOHN WAYNE IMPERSONATION AND A SOCK PUPPET. 488 00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:29,069 YEAH, WE'RE EATING IT. 489 00:23:29,089 --> 00:23:31,150 LEO SAID YOU HAD AN ATTACK LAST YEAR. 490 00:23:31,170 --> 00:23:32,190 HMM? 491 00:23:32,210 --> 00:23:35,119 LEO SAID YOU HAD AN ATTACK LAST YEAR. 492 00:23:35,140 --> 00:23:37,039 YEAH. 493 00:23:37,059 --> 00:23:40,119 A COUPLE OF NIGHTS BEFORE THE STATE OF THE UNION. 494 00:23:40,140 --> 00:23:42,150 YEAH. WASN'T THAT ALSO THE NIGHT 495 00:23:42,170 --> 00:23:46,160 YOU SAW SATELLITE PICTURES OF INDIA MOVING ON KASHMIR? YEAH. 496 00:23:46,180 --> 00:23:49,119 INDIA AND PAKISTAN WERE STARING EACH OTHER DOWN 497 00:23:49,140 --> 00:23:52,230 CONTROL OF SOME NUCLEAR WEAPONS HAD BEEN PUT IN THE FIELD. YEAH. 498 00:23:53,009 --> 00:23:56,130 SO IN THE MIDDLE OF A... I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU CALL IT. 499 00:23:56,150 --> 00:23:58,049 AN EPISODE. 500 00:23:58,069 --> 00:24:00,210 YOU WERE IN THE SITUATION ROOM AS COMMANDER IN CHIEF. 501 00:24:00,230 --> 00:24:05,079 I KNOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE ALL STILL HERE. 502 00:24:05,099 --> 00:24:06,190 MR. PRESIDENT... 503 00:24:06,210 --> 00:24:09,069 THE EPISODE WAS OVER. LEO WAS WITH ME 504 00:24:09,089 --> 00:24:11,160 THE CHAIRMAN OF THE JOINT CHIEFS WAS WITH ME 505 00:24:11,180 --> 00:24:13,029 AS WERE THE SECRETARIES OF STATE 506 00:24:13,049 --> 00:24:14,220 AND DEFENSE. DO YOU RECEIVE MEDICATION? 507 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:17,000 I'M SORRY? 508 00:24:17,019 --> 00:24:18,170 DO YOU RECEIVE MEDICAT... 509 00:24:18,190 --> 00:24:20,220 I GET INJECTIONS OF BETASERON. 510 00:24:22,190 --> 00:24:25,160 FROM WHOM? 511 00:24:25,180 --> 00:24:28,200 FROM A DOCTOR. 512 00:24:28,220 --> 00:24:32,210 NONE OF YOUR CURRENT DOCTORS ARE AWARE OF YOUR CONDITION. 513 00:24:32,230 --> 00:24:39,099 MR. PRESIDENT, IS YOUR WIFE MEDICATING YOU? 514 00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:40,200 I THINK IT WOULD BE BEST 515 00:24:40,220 --> 00:24:43,099 WHILE TEMPERATURES ARE RUNNING A LITTLE HIGH 516 00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:48,130 THAT YOU REFER TO MY WIFE AS MRS. BARTLET OR THE FIRST LADY. 517 00:24:48,150 --> 00:24:50,099 YES, SIR. 518 00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:51,130 WHAT YOU GOT, LEO? 519 00:24:51,150 --> 00:24:53,130 THEY'D LIKE A FEW MORE MINUTES. 520 00:24:53,150 --> 00:24:56,019 THE FAA? YEAH. 521 00:24:56,039 --> 00:24:59,009 TALK ME THROUGH WHAT HEIGHTENED SECURITY MEANS. 522 00:24:59,029 --> 00:25:02,029 WELL, THEY DEPLOY MORE UNIFORMED POLICE AND THE DOGS. 523 00:25:02,049 --> 00:25:04,029 THEY HAND-SEARCH LUGGAGE. 524 00:25:04,049 --> 00:25:05,039 AND THEY DISCONTINUE... 525 00:25:05,059 --> 00:25:06,140 CURBSIDE CHECK-IN, YEAH. 526 00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:09,049 ELIMINATE THE FIRST TWO ROWS OF SHORT-TERM PARKING. 527 00:25:09,069 --> 00:25:11,059 President: OKAY, THEY WANT A FEW MINUTES? 528 00:25:11,079 --> 00:25:12,109 YEAH. 529 00:25:12,130 --> 00:25:14,009 TOBY'S CONCERNED THAT THE PEACEFUL 530 00:25:14,029 --> 00:25:17,009 SOLUTION I BROKERED IN KASHMIR LAST YEAR WAS THE RESULT 531 00:25:17,029 --> 00:25:19,049 OF A DRUG-INDUCED HAZE. 532 00:25:19,069 --> 00:25:21,059 I WAS THERE WITH HIM. SO WAS FITZ. 533 00:25:21,079 --> 00:25:23,220 SO WAS CASHMAN, HUTCHINSON, BERRYHILL... 534 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:25,009 WELL, THAT'S FANTASTIC. 535 00:25:25,029 --> 00:25:26,160 TOBY... NONE OF YOU WERE ELECTED. 536 00:25:26,180 --> 00:25:28,109 I WAS ELECTED, THEY WERE APPOINTED. 537 00:25:28,130 --> 00:25:30,039 THE VICE PRESIDENT WAS ELECTED. 538 00:25:30,059 --> 00:25:32,079 HE HAS THE CONSTITUTIONAL AUTHORITY TO ASSUME MY... 539 00:25:32,099 --> 00:25:33,220 NOT LAST MAY, HE DIDN'T. 540 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,109 HE DIDN'T LAST MAY WHEN YOU WERE UNDER GENERAL ANESTHESIA. 541 00:25:36,130 --> 00:25:39,230 'CAUSE I NEVER SIGNED THE LETTER, I DIN'T GET SHOT 'CAUSE I GOT MS. 542 00:25:40,009 --> 00:25:45,190 I DON'T THINK YOU DID. I MEANT THAT DURING A NIGHT OF EXTREME CHAOS AND FEAR 543 00:25:45,210 --> 00:25:48,069 WHEN WE DIDN'T YET KNOW IF WE'D BEEN THE VICTIMS 544 00:25:48,089 --> 00:25:51,190 OF DOMESTIC OR FOREIGN TERRORISM OR EVEN AN ACT OF WAR 545 00:25:51,210 --> 00:25:55,009 THERE WAS UNCERTAINTY AS TO WHO WAS GIVING THE NATIONAL SECURITY ORDERS 546 00:25:55,029 --> 00:25:58,190 AND IT WAS BECAUSE YOU NEVER SIGNED A LETTER. 547 00:25:58,210 --> 00:26:00,069 SO I'M LED TO WONDER 548 00:26:00,089 --> 00:26:02,210 GIVEN YOUR CONDITION AND ITS LACK OF PREDICTABILITY 549 00:26:02,230 --> 00:26:05,140 WHY THERE ISN'T SIMPLY A SIGNED LETTER 550 00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:07,109 SITTING IN A FILE SOMEPLACE. 551 00:26:07,130 --> 00:26:11,019 AND THE ANSWER OF COURSE IS THAT IF THERE WAS A SIGNED LETTER 552 00:26:11,039 --> 00:26:15,150 SITTING IN A FILE SOMEPLACE, SOMEBODY WOULD ASK WHY. 553 00:26:15,170 --> 00:26:18,109 THE COMMANDER IN CHIEF HAD JUST BEEN ATTACKED. 554 00:26:18,130 --> 00:26:21,109 HE WAS UNDER A GENERAL ANESTHETIC. 555 00:26:21,130 --> 00:26:22,190 A FUGITIVE WAS AT LARGE. 556 00:26:22,210 --> 00:26:24,059 THE MANHUNT INCLUDED 557 00:26:24,079 --> 00:26:26,190 EVERY FEDERAL, STATE AND LOCAL LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCY. 558 00:26:26,210 --> 00:26:29,220 THE VIRGINIA, MARYLAND, NEW JERSEY, PENNSYLVANIA 559 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:33,029 AND DELAWARE NATIONAL GUARD UNITS WERE FEDERALIZED. 560 00:26:33,049 --> 00:26:37,180 THE KH-10S SHOWED REPUBLICAN GUARD MOVEMENT IN SOUTHERN IRAQ 561 00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:41,200 AND 12 HOURS EARLIER, AN F-117 WAS SHOT DOWN IN THE NO-FLY 562 00:26:41,220 --> 00:26:44,210 AND THE VICE PRESIDENT'S AUTHORITY WAS MURKY AT BEST! 563 00:26:46,109 --> 00:26:51,000 THE NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR AND THE SECRETARY OF STATE 564 00:26:51,019 --> 00:26:55,079 DIDN'T KNOW WHO THEY WERE TAKING THEIR ORDERS FROM. 565 00:26:55,099 --> 00:26:57,079 I WASN'T IN THE SITUATION ROOM THAT NIGHT 566 00:26:57,099 --> 00:26:59,160 BUT I'LL BET ALL THE MONEY IN MY POCKETS 567 00:26:59,180 --> 00:27:02,029 AGAINST ALL THE MONEY IN YOUR POCKETS 568 00:27:02,049 --> 00:27:04,119 THAT IT WAS LEO... 569 00:27:04,140 --> 00:27:06,009 WHO NO ONE ELECTED! 570 00:27:09,150 --> 00:27:10,210 FOR 90 MINUTES THAT NIGHT 571 00:27:10,230 --> 00:27:14,039 THERE WAS A COUP D'ETAT IN THIS COUNTRY. 572 00:27:22,210 --> 00:27:26,049 "AND THE WALLS CAME TUMBLIN' DOWN." 573 00:27:26,069 --> 00:27:28,130 I FEEL FINE, BY THE WAY. THANKS FOR ASKING. 574 00:27:28,150 --> 00:27:30,130 SIR... NO, LEO, TOBY'S CONCERN 575 00:27:30,150 --> 00:27:32,029 FOR MY HEALTH IS MOVING ME... 576 00:27:32,049 --> 00:27:33,049 MR. PRESIDENT... 577 00:27:33,069 --> 00:27:34,230 SHUT UP! 578 00:27:46,039 --> 00:27:49,079 YOU KNOW YOUR INDIGNATION WOULD BE A LOT MORE INTERESTING TO ME 579 00:27:49,099 --> 00:27:51,220 IF IT WEREN'T QUITE SO COVERED IN CRAP. 580 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:53,000 SIR? YEAH. 581 00:27:53,019 --> 00:27:55,000 MR. GARRETH. THANKS. 582 00:27:55,019 --> 00:27:57,089 ARE YOU PISSED 'CAUSE I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING 583 00:27:57,109 --> 00:27:59,180 OR ARE YOU PISSED 'CAUSE THERE WERE 15 PEOPLE 584 00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:01,210 WHO KNEW BEFORE YOU DID? 585 00:28:01,230 --> 00:28:05,130 I FEEL FINE BY THE WAY. THANKS FOR ASKING. 586 00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:19,200 TAKE THE CALL IN HERE. 587 00:28:19,220 --> 00:28:22,109 WE'LL STEP OUTSIDE FOR A MINUTE. 588 00:28:25,069 --> 00:28:28,089 ( dramatic music ) 589 00:28:42,190 --> 00:28:44,099 YEAH, THIS IS THE PRESIDENT. 590 00:28:47,130 --> 00:28:48,190 Sam: SELF-DEPRECATION. 591 00:28:48,210 --> 00:28:51,000 YES. SELF-DEPRECATION'S WHAT WE NEED. 592 00:28:51,019 --> 00:28:53,160 YES. SELF-DEPRECATION IS THE APPETIZER OF CHARM. 593 00:28:53,180 --> 00:28:55,029 WE NEED JOKES ABOUT THE STAFF. 594 00:28:55,049 --> 00:28:57,190 WE NEED JOKES ABOUT THE STAFF. LET'S START WITH YOU. 595 00:28:57,210 --> 00:28:59,140 PROBLEM IS THERE AREN'T MANY JOKES. 596 00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:00,230 HOW ABOUT THIS. UM, "KNOCK-KNOCK." 597 00:29:01,009 --> 00:29:02,210 "WHO'S THERE?" "SAM AND HIS PROSTITUTE FRIEND." 598 00:29:02,230 --> 00:29:04,069 ( Ainsley laughs ) 599 00:29:04,089 --> 00:29:07,049 SEE, I THINK THAT WAS A BIT OF MISDIRECTED ANGER THERE. 600 00:29:07,069 --> 00:29:08,210 I'M OKAY WITH THAT. IN THAT CASE 601 00:29:08,230 --> 00:29:12,019 YOU KNOW WHY I GOT YOU FLOWERS IN APRIL INSTEAD OF FEBRUARY? 602 00:29:12,039 --> 00:29:14,069 'CAUSE YOU DITCHED ME THE FIRST TIME AROUND 603 00:29:14,089 --> 00:29:19,039 TO GO BACK TO THE GUY WHO DITCHED YOU. ONLY TO HAVE HIM DITCH YOU AGAIN. 604 00:29:19,059 --> 00:29:21,079 OW. WHAT THE HELL? THAT WAS HIM. 605 00:29:21,099 --> 00:29:22,200 HE WAS BEING YOU. 606 00:29:22,220 --> 00:29:25,000 IN FAIRNESS, I THINK EVERYBODY SHOULD'VE A TURN. 607 00:29:25,019 --> 00:29:26,119 SAM, IS THERE ANYTHING 608 00:29:26,140 --> 00:29:28,210 WE CAN PULL, ANYTHING FUNNY WE CAN RECYCLE? 609 00:29:28,230 --> 00:29:30,170 YEAH, PULL SOMETHING I WROTE FROM OCTOBER 610 00:29:30,190 --> 00:29:32,079 CALLED GOVERNMENT-WIDE ACCOUNTABILITY 611 00:29:32,099 --> 00:29:33,140 FOR MERIT SYSTEM PRINCIPLES. 612 00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:36,039 THAT ONE WAS A BARN BURNER, WAS IT? 613 00:29:37,019 --> 00:29:38,140 ( sighs ) 614 00:29:41,230 --> 00:29:45,099 DO YOU KNOW MUCH GRIEF I TOOK FROM HIM WHEN I CAME BACK? 615 00:29:45,119 --> 00:29:46,180 HOW MUCH? NONE. 616 00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:49,019 I WALKED IN THE DOOR. HE SAID, "THANK GOD. 617 00:29:49,039 --> 00:29:51,059 THERE'S A PILE OF STUFF ON THE DESK." 618 00:29:51,079 --> 00:29:52,180 THIS IS HIS WAY. 619 00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:55,140 HE'S JUST GONNA SNARK ME EVERY APRIL. 620 00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:57,049 THE PRINCE OF PASSIVE/ AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR. 621 00:29:57,069 --> 00:29:58,170 WHAT DOES SNARK MEAN? 622 00:29:58,190 --> 00:30:00,130 I DON'T KNOW, BUT HE'S DOING IT. 623 00:30:00,150 --> 00:30:02,079 IS THERE ANY COFFEE LEFT? 624 00:30:02,099 --> 00:30:04,089 IN THE MESS. ANYBODY WANT ANYTHING? 625 00:30:04,109 --> 00:30:07,029 DO THEY HAVE CHEESECAKE DOWN THERE? IT'S A QUARTER AFTER MIDNIGHT. 626 00:30:07,049 --> 00:30:11,109 THE PASTRY CHEF USUALLY STAYS ON TILL DAWN. I'LL GO SEE WHAT THERE IS. 627 00:30:11,130 --> 00:30:13,190 YOU KNOW, WE SHOULD MAKE A JOKE ABOUT WOMEN 628 00:30:13,210 --> 00:30:15,079 'CAUSE THERE'S NO LAW AGAINST THAT 629 00:30:15,099 --> 00:30:17,029 OR PAYING THEM LESS MONEY THAN MEN. 630 00:30:17,049 --> 00:30:18,210 WELL, THERE IS A LAW AGAINST THAT. 631 00:30:18,230 --> 00:30:21,089 IT'S THE PAY EQUITY ACT. IT WAS PASSED IN 1964 632 00:30:21,109 --> 00:30:23,160 WHEN WOMEN WERE MAKING 59 CENTS TO THE DOLLAR. 633 00:30:23,180 --> 00:30:25,170 WHAT ARE YOU MAKING NOW? SEVENTY-NINE CENTS. 634 00:30:25,190 --> 00:30:28,210 EVERYTHING'S FINE. NO, THERE ARE STILL SOME PROBLEMS, BUT I'M NOT WORRIED 635 00:30:28,230 --> 00:30:31,180 'CAUSE THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT'S COMING TO THE RESCUE. 636 00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:34,200 YOU THINK PAY DISPARITY IS 'CAUSE SOME SEXIST IN HUMAN RESOURCES 637 00:30:34,220 --> 00:30:37,220 HIRED TWO PEOPLE FOR EQUAL POSITIONS AND PAID THE MAN MORE? 638 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:40,059 OFTENTIMES, WOMEN-- AND OFTENTIMES, WOMEN MAKE LESS MONEY 639 00:30:40,079 --> 00:30:43,019 OVER THE COURSE OF THEIR LIFETIME BECAUSE THEY CHOOSE TO. 640 00:30:43,039 --> 00:30:44,140 OH, GOODNIGHT, NURSE. 641 00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:46,150 THEY DO NOT CHOOSE TO MAKE LESS MONEY. 642 00:30:46,170 --> 00:30:48,059 THEY'RE FINANCIALLY PUNISHED FOR HAVING KIDS. 643 00:30:48,079 --> 00:30:49,230 THEY MADE A CHOICE TO HAVE KIDS. 644 00:30:50,009 --> 00:30:52,079 WELL, NOT NECESSARILY, IF YOU GUYS HAVE YOUR WAY. 645 00:30:52,099 --> 00:30:54,009 BUT THAT'S A DIFFERENT CAN OF TUNA. 646 00:30:54,029 --> 00:30:56,220 I FLAT OUT GUARANTEE YOU THAT IF MEN WERE BIOLOGICALLY 647 00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:59,019 RESPONSIBLE FOR PROCREATION, THERE'D BE PAID FAMILY LEAVE 648 00:30:59,039 --> 00:31:00,170 IN EVERY FORTUNE 500. 649 00:31:00,190 --> 00:31:03,119 SAM, IF MEN WERE BIOLOGICALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR PROCREATION 650 00:31:03,140 --> 00:31:05,150 THEY'D FALL DOWN AND DIE AT THE FIRST SONOGRAM. 651 00:31:05,170 --> 00:31:09,089 IF THE AMENDMENT IS REDUNDANT THEN WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM IF IT'S PASSED OR NOT? 652 00:31:09,109 --> 00:31:11,069 BECAUSE I'M A REPUBLICAN. HAVE WE MET? 653 00:31:11,089 --> 00:31:13,099 I BELIEVE THAT EVERY TIME THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT 654 00:31:13,119 --> 00:31:15,039 HANDS DOWN A NEW LAW, IT LEAVES 655 00:31:15,059 --> 00:31:17,099 FOR THE REST OF US, A LITTLE LESS FREEDOM. 656 00:31:17,119 --> 00:31:20,140 SO I SAY, LET'S JUST STICK TO THE ONES WE ABSOLUTELY NEED 657 00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:23,059 IN ORDER TO HAVE WATER COME OUT OF THE FAUCET 658 00:31:23,079 --> 00:31:24,150 AND OUR CARS NOT STOLEN. 659 00:31:24,170 --> 00:31:28,069 THAT IS MY PROBLEM WITH PASSING A REDUNDANT LAW. 660 00:31:28,089 --> 00:31:29,230 SAM? YEAH. 661 00:31:30,009 --> 00:31:33,009 THE ALL-NIGHT PASTRY CHEF, YOU WERE JUST KIDDING ABOUT THAT, RIGHT? 662 00:31:33,029 --> 00:31:34,089 YEAH. 663 00:31:47,109 --> 00:31:50,180 HE'S STILL ON WITH STATE IN THE RESIDENCE. 664 00:31:53,180 --> 00:31:56,069 SO HOYNES KNOWS? 665 00:31:56,089 --> 00:31:58,049 HMM? 666 00:31:58,069 --> 00:32:00,099 HOYNES IS ONE OF THE 16? 667 00:32:00,119 --> 00:32:02,190 YEAH. 668 00:32:02,210 --> 00:32:05,170 AND HE THINKS THE PRESIDENT WON'T RUN AGAIN. 669 00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:10,230 HE THINKS THERE'S A CHANCE. WILL HE? 670 00:32:11,009 --> 00:32:12,049 WILL THE PRESIDENT RUN? 671 00:32:12,069 --> 00:32:15,039 WHERE'S THE FIRST LADY? IN MANCHESTER. 672 00:32:15,059 --> 00:32:18,099 WHY'D SHE COME TO ME AFTER THE STATE OF THE UNION...? TOBY... 673 00:32:18,119 --> 00:32:21,059 WHY, WHY'S SHE MAD AT THE PRESIDENT? 674 00:32:21,079 --> 00:32:24,069 IT'S BECAUSE THE STATE OF THE UNION SET UP THE REELECTION RUN. 675 00:32:24,089 --> 00:32:27,220 AND SOMEHOW, SHE'S UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. 676 00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:29,029 THE FIRST LADY... 677 00:32:29,049 --> 00:32:31,079 I HAVE NO KIND OF INVESTIGATIVE MIND, ZERO. 678 00:32:31,099 --> 00:32:35,069 IT TOOK ME SIX DAYS AND 23 MINUTES TO FIGURE IT OUT. 679 00:32:38,190 --> 00:32:40,140 HE'LL RUN. YEAH. 680 00:32:42,019 --> 00:32:45,029 YEAH, 'CAUSE WE STOOD IN THAT OFFICE A COUPLE MONTHS AGO 681 00:32:45,049 --> 00:32:47,130 YOU AND I, AND YOU SAID, "TAKE MY HAND. 682 00:32:47,150 --> 00:32:49,119 WE JUST..." 683 00:32:52,140 --> 00:32:55,130 NEVER MIND. 684 00:32:55,150 --> 00:32:57,009 HE'LL RUN. 685 00:32:58,170 --> 00:33:00,059 HOYNES WAS 14. 686 00:33:00,079 --> 00:33:02,150 WHO WAS 15? 687 00:33:02,170 --> 00:33:04,210 DR. DAVID LEE... 688 00:33:04,230 --> 00:33:10,099 THE ANESTHESIOLOGIST AT G.W. HE HAD TO KNOW ABOUT THE BETASERON. 689 00:33:10,119 --> 00:33:11,140 GETTING BACK TO HOYNES-- 690 00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:14,009 I'M SORRY, BUT I NEED YOU TO LOOK AT ME 691 00:33:14,029 --> 00:33:18,200 AND TELL ME THE DOCTOR'S NOT UNDER ANY KIND OF SURVEILLANCE. 692 00:33:18,220 --> 00:33:23,099 THE DOCTOR'S FREE TO TALK TO WHOMEVER HE LIKES. 693 00:33:23,119 --> 00:33:26,059 WELL, I'M SURE WE'RE GONNA FIND THAT OUT SOON ENOUGH. 694 00:33:26,079 --> 00:33:28,059 HE'S NOT GONNA LEAK IT. SOMEONE WILL. 695 00:33:28,079 --> 00:33:30,019 TOBY... LEO, HOYNES LEFT BREAD CRUMBS. 696 00:33:30,039 --> 00:33:33,059 HE, HE WANTED ME TO FIND OUT. A CAMPING TRIP TO KILLINGTON? 697 00:33:33,079 --> 00:33:35,109 THAT WAS A JACKASS MOVE. I DON'T THINK SO. 698 00:33:35,130 --> 00:33:38,089 HE MAY BE THE ONLY ONE AROUND HERE WHO'S ACTING RESPONSIBLY. 699 00:33:38,109 --> 00:33:40,140 TO WHO? THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY. 700 00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:43,000 IT'S SEVEN AND A HALF MONTHS TILL THE IOWA CAUCUS 701 00:33:43,019 --> 00:33:46,180 AND NO ONE'S BEEN TOLD HE MIGHT NOT BE THE NOMINEE? HE'S GONNA RUN. 702 00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:48,220 HE MAY NOT HAVE THAT OPTION, LEO. 703 00:33:51,150 --> 00:33:56,079 WHEN THIS STORY BREAKS, IT WILL BE BECAUSE WE BROKE IT. 704 00:33:56,099 --> 00:33:58,190 AND WE'LL CONTROL IT. 705 00:33:58,210 --> 00:34:00,089 AND THE PUBLIC WILL ACCEPT IT. 706 00:34:00,109 --> 00:34:02,019 IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S UNPRECEDENTED 707 00:34:02,039 --> 00:34:04,230 THAT A PRESIDENT CONCEAL HEALTH ISSUES. 708 00:34:08,079 --> 00:34:11,119 WHAT DO YOU THINK IS GONNA HAPPEN? 709 00:34:11,139 --> 00:34:15,039 I MEAN IT, WHAT DO YOU THINK IS GONNA HAPPEN? 710 00:34:18,010 --> 00:34:19,199 WELL... 711 00:34:21,170 --> 00:34:24,010 I SUPPOSE ONE OF... 712 00:34:24,030 --> 00:34:25,139 FIVE THINGS. 713 00:34:27,210 --> 00:34:31,230 THE PRESIDENT CAN DECIDE NOT TO RUN. 714 00:34:32,010 --> 00:34:34,050 HE CAN RUN AND NOT WIN. 715 00:34:34,070 --> 00:34:37,070 HE CAN RUN AND WIN. AND, WHAT ARE THE OTHER TWO? 716 00:34:37,090 --> 00:34:39,030 LEO... 717 00:34:39,050 --> 00:34:41,039 YOU THINK HE'S GOING TO NEED TO RESIGN? 718 00:34:41,059 --> 00:34:44,090 THERE'S GONNA BE HEARING UPON HEARING UPON HEARING. 719 00:34:44,110 --> 00:34:46,059 HE HASN'T BROKEN A LAW. 720 00:34:46,079 --> 00:34:48,050 ( door opens ) 721 00:34:48,070 --> 00:34:50,039 Charlie: THE PRESIDENT'S ON HIS WAY BACK. 722 00:34:50,059 --> 00:34:51,179 THANKS. 723 00:34:55,099 --> 00:34:57,039 SAYS YOU. 724 00:34:57,059 --> 00:34:59,030 AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO BREAK THE LAW 725 00:34:59,050 --> 00:35:02,070 TO GET SERVED WITH ARTICLES OF IMPEACHMENT. 726 00:35:04,070 --> 00:35:07,179 TOBY, IT IS NEVER GONNA GET THAT FAR. 727 00:35:12,159 --> 00:35:16,159 WRITE DOWN THE EXACT DATE AND TIME YOU SAID THAT. 728 00:35:25,039 --> 00:35:29,139 SEE, THE THING ABOUT ME, IS THAT MINE IS A DRY WIT. 729 00:35:29,159 --> 00:35:32,030 AND A DRY WIT, LIKE A FINE MARTINI 730 00:35:32,050 --> 00:35:34,150 IS BEST ENJOYED... 731 00:35:36,070 --> 00:35:37,150 Larry: UH-OH. 732 00:35:37,170 --> 00:35:38,210 YEAH, NOWHERE TO GO THERE. 733 00:35:38,230 --> 00:35:40,150 WHAT THE HELL TOOK SO LONG? 734 00:35:40,170 --> 00:35:42,210 WE GOT THE COFFEE, BUT THEN I SPILLED IT. 735 00:35:42,230 --> 00:35:45,010 YOU KNOW, THE FIRST COUPLE TIMES. WHERE'S JOSH? 736 00:35:45,030 --> 00:35:46,179 YOU SENT HIM TO GET THE THING. 737 00:35:46,199 --> 00:35:49,130 FOR HOW LONG? I'VE HAD TIME TO SPILL COFFEE. 738 00:35:49,150 --> 00:35:51,179 I'LL FIND HIM. SO, GUYS... 739 00:35:51,199 --> 00:35:53,099 YEAH. WHEN I WAS DOWNSTAIRS 740 00:35:53,119 --> 00:35:56,079 I MADE A DECISION I'M REGISTERING WITH THE REPUBLICAN PARTY. 741 00:35:56,099 --> 00:35:57,130 AND I'LL TELL YOU WHY. 742 00:35:57,150 --> 00:35:59,010 BECAUSE THEY'RE A FREEDOM-LOVING PEOPLE. 743 00:35:59,030 --> 00:36:00,130 WE ALSO LIKE BEEF. 744 00:36:00,150 --> 00:36:02,050 YOU INSIST THE GOVERNMENT IS DEPRAVED 745 00:36:02,070 --> 00:36:04,219 FOR NOT LEGISLATING AGAINST WHAT WE CAN SEE ON THE NEWSSTANDS 746 00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:09,079 OR WHAT WE CAN SEE IN AN EXHIBIT OR WHICH SEX WE'RE ALLOWED TO HAVE SEX. 747 00:36:09,099 --> 00:36:12,210 OR A WOMAN'S RIGHT TO CHOOSE. BUT DON'T YOU DARE TRY AND REGULATE 748 00:36:12,230 --> 00:36:14,090 THIS DEADLY WEAPON I HAVE CONCEALED. 749 00:36:14,110 --> 00:36:16,039 FOR THAT WOULD ENCROACH AGAINST MY FREEDOM. 750 00:36:16,059 --> 00:36:18,019 YEAH, AND DEMOCRATS BELIEVE IN FREE SPEECH 751 00:36:18,039 --> 00:36:20,159 AS LONG AS IT ISN'T PRAYER WHILE YOU'RE IN SCHOOL. 752 00:36:20,179 --> 00:36:23,119 YOU BELIEVE IN THE FREEDOM OF INFORMATION ACT 753 00:36:23,139 --> 00:36:25,150 ONLY IF YOUR 14-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER'S HAD AN ABORTION. 754 00:36:25,170 --> 00:36:27,190 WE BELIEVE IN THE ERA. WELL, GO GET 'EM. 755 00:36:27,210 --> 00:36:31,000 HOW CAN YOU HAVE AN OBJECTION TO SOME-- BECAUSE IT'S HUMILIATING. 756 00:36:31,019 --> 00:36:33,019 A NEW AMENDMENT WE VOTE ON DECLARING 757 00:36:33,039 --> 00:36:35,159 THAT I AM EQUAL UNDER THE LAW TO A MAN? 758 00:36:35,179 --> 00:36:36,210 I AM MORTIFIED TO DISCOVER 759 00:36:36,230 --> 00:36:39,059 THERE'S REASON TO BELIEVE I WASN'T BEFORE. 760 00:36:39,079 --> 00:36:41,079 I AM A CITIZEN OF THIS COUNTRY. 761 00:36:41,099 --> 00:36:44,150 I AM NOT A SPECIAL SUBSET IN NEED OF YOUR PROTECTION. 762 00:36:44,170 --> 00:36:47,230 I DO NOT HAVE TO HAVE MY RIGHTS HANDED DOWN TO ME 763 00:36:48,010 --> 00:36:50,170 BY A BUNCH OF OLD, WHITE MEN. 764 00:36:50,190 --> 00:36:53,130 THE SAME ARTICLE 14 THAT PROTECTS YOU 765 00:36:53,150 --> 00:36:54,179 PROTECTS ME. 766 00:36:54,199 --> 00:36:58,070 AND I WENT TO LAW SCHOOL JUST TO MAKE SURE. 767 00:36:58,090 --> 00:37:01,070 AND WITH THAT, I'M GOING BACK DOWN TO THE MESS 768 00:37:01,090 --> 00:37:05,119 BECAUSE I THOUGHT I MAY HAVE SEEN THERE, A PEACH. 769 00:37:09,050 --> 00:37:10,139 I COULD'VE COUNTERED THAT 770 00:37:10,159 --> 00:37:14,010 BUT I'D ALREADY MOVED ON TO OTHER THINGS IN MY HEAD. 771 00:37:22,179 --> 00:37:24,050 JOSH. OH. 772 00:37:27,159 --> 00:37:29,039 WELL, THAT WAS PREDICTABLE. 773 00:37:29,059 --> 00:37:31,119 YES. 774 00:37:31,139 --> 00:37:33,179 I'M TRYING TO FIND THAT SPEECH SAM SAID. 775 00:37:33,199 --> 00:37:35,130 YOU KNOW, WE KEEP THEM ON COMPUTER. 776 00:37:35,150 --> 00:37:37,070 WELL, YEAH, SURE, I SUPPOSE... 777 00:37:37,090 --> 00:37:40,059 EXCEPT YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE A COMPUTER. RIGHT. 778 00:37:40,079 --> 00:37:41,219 JOSH, JOSH, JOSH. 779 00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:43,079 YES. 780 00:37:43,099 --> 00:37:45,110 JOSHUA, JOSH, JOSH. 781 00:37:47,059 --> 00:37:48,179 WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING NOW? 782 00:37:48,199 --> 00:37:51,000 YOU FEEL, I BELIEVE, BECAUSE YOU'RE QUITE ADDLEMINDED 783 00:37:51,019 --> 00:37:52,219 THAT THIS JOB WAS MY SECOND CHOICE. 784 00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:56,000 HEY I'M JUST GRATEFUL WE WERE YOUR LAST CHOICE. 785 00:37:56,019 --> 00:37:58,139 I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A GIFT, WHICH YOU DON'T DESERVE. 786 00:37:58,159 --> 00:38:00,119 IF YOU'VE GOT YOUR OLD CATHOLIC SCHOOL UNIFORM 787 00:38:00,139 --> 00:38:03,159 ON UNDER THERE, DON'T GET ME WRONG I APPLAUD THE THOUGHT, BUT-- 788 00:38:03,179 --> 00:38:07,119 WHAT I NEED IS FOR YOU TO STOP BEING LIKE... YOU FOR A SECOND. 789 00:38:07,139 --> 00:38:09,019 OKAY. WHEN I CAME BACK 790 00:38:09,039 --> 00:38:11,119 YOU REMEMBER I HAD A BANDAGE ON MY ANKLE? YEAH. 791 00:38:11,139 --> 00:38:15,190 I TOLD YOU I SLIPPED ON THE ICE? YEAH, 'CAUSE YOU DIDN'T PUT THE KITTY LITTER. 792 00:38:15,210 --> 00:38:17,150 I WAS ACTUALLY IN A CAR ACCIDENT. 793 00:38:17,170 --> 00:38:19,010 A CAR ACCIDENT? IT WAS... 794 00:38:19,030 --> 00:38:21,039 SERIOUSLY, AN ACCIDENT? IT WAS NO BIG DEAL. 795 00:38:21,059 --> 00:38:23,099 YOU TOLD ME IT WAS A LATE THAW. 796 00:38:23,119 --> 00:38:25,119 YES... I DID. 797 00:38:27,110 --> 00:38:29,019 ANYWAY, THEY TOOK ME TO THE HOSPITAL 798 00:38:29,039 --> 00:38:32,010 AND I CALLED HIM, AND HE CAME DOWN TO GET ME. 799 00:38:32,030 --> 00:38:33,099 AND ON THE WAY... 800 00:38:33,119 --> 00:38:36,050 HE STOPPED AND MET SOME FRIENDS OF HIS FOR A BEER. 801 00:38:36,070 --> 00:38:39,070 HE STOPPED ON THE WAY TO THE HOSPITAL FOR A BEER? 802 00:38:39,090 --> 00:38:40,130 YES. 803 00:38:40,150 --> 00:38:41,199 AND SO I LEFT HIM. 804 00:38:41,219 --> 00:38:44,170 WHICH WAS THE POINT OF MY TELLING YOU THIS. 805 00:38:44,190 --> 00:38:46,059 I LEFT HIM. 806 00:38:47,030 --> 00:38:49,070 SO STOP REMEMBERING THAT. 807 00:38:50,110 --> 00:38:52,139 WHAT I REMEMBER IS THAT YOU TOOK ME BACK 808 00:38:52,159 --> 00:38:54,190 WHEN YOU HAD NO REASON TO TRUST ME AGAIN 809 00:38:54,210 --> 00:38:59,059 AND YOU DIDN'T MAKE FUN OF ME OR HIM AND YOU HAD EVERY REASON TO. DONNA... 810 00:38:59,079 --> 00:39:01,110 YOU'RE GONNA MAKE FUN OF HIM NOW? NO. 811 00:39:01,130 --> 00:39:03,059 'CAUSE THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T TELL YOU. 812 00:39:03,079 --> 00:39:05,139 I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE FUN OF HIM. GOOD. 813 00:39:05,159 --> 00:39:07,090 WHAT KIND OF A DUMPKISS WERE YOU... 814 00:39:07,110 --> 00:39:09,019 HE WAS SUPPOSED TO MEET HIS FRIENDS. 815 00:39:09,039 --> 00:39:11,219 HE STOPPED TO TELL 'EM HE COULDN'T. AND HAD A BEER? 816 00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:13,139 DOES THIS MAKE YOU FEEL SUPERIOR? 817 00:39:13,159 --> 00:39:15,219 YES, YOU ARE BETTER 818 00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:17,150 THAN MY OLD BOYFRIEND. 819 00:39:20,099 --> 00:39:21,230 I'M, I'M JUST SAYING 820 00:39:22,010 --> 00:39:25,139 IF YOU WERE IN AN ACCIDENT, I WOULDN'T STOP FOR A BEER. 821 00:39:25,159 --> 00:39:30,070 IF YOU WERE IN AN ACCIDENT, I WOULDN'T STOP FOR RED LIGHTS. 822 00:39:30,090 --> 00:39:32,099 THANKS FOR TAKING ME BACK. 823 00:39:33,099 --> 00:39:36,039 OH, AND THE FLOWERS ARE BEAUTIFUL. 824 00:39:46,070 --> 00:39:48,050 WHY NOT HEIGHTEN SECURITY? 825 00:39:48,070 --> 00:39:50,010 HMM? 826 00:39:50,030 --> 00:39:53,000 AT THE AIRPORTS, WHY NOT HEIGHTEN SECURITY? WHAT'S THE DOWNSIDE? 827 00:39:55,010 --> 00:39:56,150 SORRY ABOUT THAT. WHAT'S GOING ON? 828 00:39:56,170 --> 00:39:58,130 CHARLIE? I'VE GOT TO MAKE THE CALL. 829 00:39:58,150 --> 00:40:00,210 YES, SIR. LET'S GET GARRETH BACK. 830 00:40:02,210 --> 00:40:04,090 ( sighs ) 831 00:40:11,079 --> 00:40:14,099 TOBY WAS JUST ASKING WHAT THE DOWNSIDE 832 00:40:14,119 --> 00:40:16,179 OF GOING TO A SECURITY CONDITION WAS. 833 00:40:16,199 --> 00:40:19,179 THE SCANNERS THEY USE TAKE AN HOUR TO SEARCH THE LUGGAGE 834 00:40:19,199 --> 00:40:21,099 OF 250 PASSENGERS. 835 00:40:22,139 --> 00:40:24,219 THE CONDITION REQUIRES TWO PHOTO IDs. 836 00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:26,230 MOST PEOPLE ONLY HAVE ONE. 837 00:40:27,010 --> 00:40:29,070 DELAYS. 838 00:40:29,090 --> 00:40:31,159 DELAYS ARE THE DOWNSIDE. 839 00:40:35,019 --> 00:40:37,070 ( knocking at door ) 840 00:40:37,090 --> 00:40:40,090 Charlie: MR. GARRETH. THAT TIMED OUT WELL. 841 00:40:41,150 --> 00:40:45,070 HAL, OKAY, LET'S DO IT. 842 00:40:45,090 --> 00:40:47,019 I'M ORDERING THE AIRPORTS TO A 2-CONDITION. 843 00:40:47,039 --> 00:40:49,170 YOU'LL HAVE IT IN WRITING IN ABOUT FIVE MINUTES. 844 00:40:49,190 --> 00:40:51,000 THANKS. 845 00:40:51,019 --> 00:40:52,119 I DIDN'T KNOW ENOUGH. 846 00:40:52,139 --> 00:40:54,050 I KNOW THE FEELING. 847 00:40:55,139 --> 00:40:58,219 I HAVE NO INTENTION OF APOLOGIZING TO YOU, TOBY. 848 00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:01,010 WOULD YOU MIND IF I ASK WHY NOT? 849 00:41:01,030 --> 00:41:02,090 'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT THE ONE 850 00:41:02,110 --> 00:41:05,039 WITH MS, A WIFE, THREE KIDS AND AIRPORTS TO CLOSE. 851 00:41:05,059 --> 00:41:07,070 NOT EVERY PART OF ME BELONGS TO YOU. 852 00:41:07,090 --> 00:41:09,079 THIS WAS PERSONAL. 853 00:41:09,099 --> 00:41:13,030 I'M NOT WILLING TO RELINQUISH THAT RIGHT. 854 00:41:16,030 --> 00:41:18,150 IT WILL APPEAR TO MANY, IF NOT MOST 855 00:41:18,170 --> 00:41:20,090 AS FRAUD. 856 00:41:20,110 --> 00:41:22,139 IT WILL APPEAR AS IF YOU DENIED 857 00:41:22,159 --> 00:41:23,210 THE VOTERS AN OPPORTUNITY 858 00:41:23,230 --> 00:41:25,210 TO DECIDE FOR THEMSELVES. 859 00:41:25,230 --> 00:41:27,070 THEY'RE GENERALLY NOT WILLING 860 00:41:27,090 --> 00:41:29,210 TO RELINQUISH THAT RIGHT, EITHER. 861 00:41:34,090 --> 00:41:36,000 YEAH. 862 00:41:37,230 --> 00:41:40,130 MR. PRESIDENT, AT SOME POINT IN THE NEAR FUTURE 863 00:41:40,150 --> 00:41:43,179 WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO SPEAK TO SOME LAWYERS. 864 00:41:43,199 --> 00:41:46,099 WELL THAT'S WHAT USUALLY BRINGS ON THE EPISODES 865 00:41:46,119 --> 00:41:48,119 BUT IF YOU SAY SO. 866 00:41:51,030 --> 00:41:53,090 IT'S 17 PEOPLE, BY THE WAY. 867 00:41:53,110 --> 00:41:55,030 I'M SORRY? 868 00:41:55,050 --> 00:41:56,219 YOU KNEW. 869 00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:58,070 WE WEREN'T COUNTING YOU. 870 00:41:58,090 --> 00:41:59,199 IT'S 17 PEOPLE. 871 00:42:07,070 --> 00:42:08,219 ( sighs ) 872 00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:10,230 I DON'T KNOW. 873 00:42:12,199 --> 00:42:15,070 IT MAY HAVE BEEN UNBELIEVABLY STUPID. 874 00:42:16,210 --> 00:42:18,179 IT MAY HAVE BEEN UNTHINKABLY STUPID. 875 00:42:18,199 --> 00:42:20,190 I DON'T KNOW. 876 00:42:24,019 --> 00:42:26,199 I'M SORRY, I REALLY AM. 877 00:42:33,050 --> 00:42:35,170 I'VE GOT TO GO IN THE OTHER ROOM AND, UH... 878 00:42:35,190 --> 00:42:38,079 YEAH. I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW. THANKS. 879 00:42:38,099 --> 00:42:40,219 THANK YOU, MR. PRESIDENT. 880 00:42:52,150 --> 00:42:54,079 Ed: I THINK THAT'S A GOOD ONE. 881 00:42:54,099 --> 00:42:55,210 ( talking and laughing ) 882 00:42:55,230 --> 00:42:56,219 Ainsley: TOBY! 883 00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:58,170 Josh: WHAT HAVE YOU GOT? 884 00:42:58,190 --> 00:43:01,170 Ed: OKAY, SO THE PRESIDENT WAS ASKED TO PICK TONIGHT'S MENU. 885 00:43:01,190 --> 00:43:03,050 AND HE SAYS, UH, JUST SERVE 886 00:43:03,070 --> 00:43:04,159 ANYTHING YOU WANT EXCEPT LAME DUCK. 887 00:43:04,179 --> 00:43:06,170 Sam: TOBY, LISTEN, TO THIS. OKAY. 888 00:43:06,190 --> 00:43:09,000 Ed: THE PRESIDENT SAYS, "I KNOW TIMES ARE TOUGH. 889 00:43:09,019 --> 00:43:11,119 THE NASDAQ JUST FILED FOR NOT-FOR- PROFIT STATUS." 890 00:43:11,139 --> 00:43:12,210 ( laughter ) 891 00:43:14,030 --> 00:43:16,030 Ainsley: WHAT ABOUT THE ONE ABOUT THE PENTAGON? 892 00:43:16,050 --> 00:43:18,039 Josh: OKAY, YOU HAVE TO TRY AND IMAGINE 893 00:43:18,059 --> 00:43:20,119 THAT THE PRESIDENT IS SAYING IT. OKAY. 894 00:43:20,139 --> 00:43:23,010 Josh: TELL ME IF YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY... 895 00:43:28,230 --> 00:43:31,059 ( theme music )